r/texts • u/GhostlySkeletons • 18h ago
Facebook DMs Date Gone Wrong - Not Sure How to Feel?
I met a woman on FB dating and we agreed to get mexican food.
I drove over, walked up, and she instantly took offense to my nose piercing. (They are in my profile pictures).
We were both hungry and I offered to still pay for dinner despite her distaste, but she noped out and said she was leaving.
I’m genuinely not sure how to feel. Admittedly, it did hurt my feelings slightly. On the other hand, I’ve also just learned not to care anymore.
Screenshots are of what she had to say after it happened.
I guess I’m just sharing this because I’d like to hear other opinion.
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u/WasteNoTime63 18h ago
That girl is not worth you worrying over. She's got some issues to resolve before she dates.
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u/emeryroserulz 17h ago
Right? I have written and re written a comment over and again because she seems so problematic. OP just needs to see this date as a wash and move on. <3
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u/Cheap-Technician-482 13h ago
Right, she's not a match. No need to read any further into it than that.
If you want to read a little further into it anyway, she's not a match, and she's weird/got some issues. Nothing further to read into.
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u/Lunar_Cats 16h ago
This. Don't even give her the satisfaction of saying anything more. Block her and move on. She's wanting you to change your appearance for her and manipulative shallow people like this aren't worth putting up with.
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u/autopisa 18h ago
you dodged a bullet & she’s not gonna find love anywhere as long as she has that close minded mindset & talks to people who she’s not interested in as lesser than her. good riddance, she did you a favor
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u/Even-Complaint-7494 18h ago
for real i hope she’s not any older than like 21 and puts AMPLE time into bettering herself and working on her attitude, because ew
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u/TricksyGoose 17h ago
Exactly. "I know my problem is I can't find anyone who is fun or spontaneous." No, your problem is you're an arrogant asshole. OP you're fine. Keep being true to yourself. I know it's cliche but dont change for someone else. Be yourself, and eventually you'll find someone who likes you.
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u/surgartits 16h ago
I think that internet dating has conditioned people to think that they’re ordering off of a menu. They decide exactly what they want and if someone deviates from that in any way, they’re done. Good luck to them with that mentality.
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u/Frequent_Zucchini205 18h ago
dude please respect yourself a bit more, a person shitting on your appearance like this is not "making fair points" this is an unacceptable thing to say to someone. if someone talks to you like this just block, and dont make them feel as if that behavior is okay
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u/Altered_B34ST_79 17h ago
This comment needs to be way higher. She knew what OP looked like from the very beginning. Kudos to OP for not going nuclear. Backhanded compliments are not compliments. Never apologize to someone who is degrading your looks.
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u/maam_thisisastaples 15h ago
I agree. She was being awful to OP, and I hope OP didn’t take any of it to heart. It is okay not to like someone’s looks, but it is not okay to give them sh-t for it. Those were not fair points; they were rude and excessive. She could have just said OP wasn’t her type and she didn’t want another date and moved on.
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u/BoucletteFZ09 16h ago
Exactly this. OP said the nose ring was shown on the profile pictures. As soon as she would have taken offence of that or make a comment in person I would have left, not offer to pay for her meal wtf. Why would you want to be with someone who does not like you?! Baffles me everytime.
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u/Action1988 17h ago
"I know my problem is I can't find anyone who is fun and spontaneous"
Trust me that's the LEAST of her problems.
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u/pinkbootstrap 17h ago
Weird that a fun spontaneous person might also dress like a fun spontaneous person 🤣
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u/Careful-Positive-710 17h ago
"I cant find anyone who lives up to my ridiculous standards. And when I got home I cried because you dress differently than my ideal, non-existent, man."
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u/StasyaSam 17h ago
Also, she wants someone fun, but someone who is not walking around like they swallowed a stick is also not what she's looking for? I know people in business attire can be fun too, but normally your personality shows in your style.
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u/Hobbes_XXV 17h ago
I read that and thought: ....but having a nose ring fits that pretty well? What does she want, a fun and spontaneous square?
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u/Effective-End-964 18h ago
You’re being way too kind here. At the same time - she’s poking around for a reaction, so blowing up also wouldn’t be a good move. This is definitely somebody you should block.
Why?
First off; she’s intentionally hurting your feelings. She could’ve very well said you’re not her type and just leave it at that. She didn’t. She is picking you apart bit by bit and insulting you every step of the way.
Secondly; again, she’s doing this to get a reaction from you. She’s testing the waters and also she wants you to bend.
Thirdly; she’s trying to blame you for her feelings. Crying because somebody you agreed to go on a date with is not your type is batshit insane, and also it makes no sense. Again, this is to get a reaction.
These are ginormous red flags from an extremely manipulative person. Ask me how I know. Block her.
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u/GhostlySkeletons 17h ago
Yeah. I really did not know what to say back at the end of it. I generally do not blow up on people or get mad. I understand that everyone is entitled to their opinions so I try not to get heated over differences like this. Although, I did feel pretty bad when she absolutely refused to sit down for food. ( I tried to defuse her immediate distaste and offer to still just sit down and eat if she wanted). We were both already there physically and I am pretty sure she mentioned being hungry. I would have figured most people wouldn’t turn down a free meal. 😅 I can only assume she didn’t want to be seen with me. (Despite the restaurant being pretty low traffic)
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u/AlternativeWonder471 17h ago
Dude that girl is extremely immature.
If this is real it's actually shocking. And sad.
Nothing stopping two people just having a chat over a meal. She has zero social skills. Treating real life like it's an app extension.
I'm sorry man. But this is not normal so chin up and good luck : )
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u/GhostlySkeletons 16h ago
See, this is exactly what confused me the most. I figured most people would still be okay with sitting down to eat and just having a chat. And then later on telling me that they weren’t feeling it.
We were already there at that point. (Standing in front of the doors to walk inside) 😅
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u/BalloonAnimalParty 15h ago
You sound lovely. You did good, OP. This is a her problem. You don't have to be mean or retaliatory with her (as you've already said) but you can just be like "ok good luck" and then block.
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u/burtonmanor47 13h ago
Yeah, was thinking "have the day you deserve" would be my response, but then realized she'd be so self-entitled that she'd take it as a compliment. Yours is better.
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u/BonusTime5460 13h ago
I think this is the best outcome tbh. If she’s this insufferable over text, imagine sitting through a whole dinner.
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u/tally-strobe 17h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/BdghqxNFV4efm
You dodged a bullet, friend. Delete the texts and enjoy the rest of your life without giving her another thought.→ More replies (1)39
u/juneabe 17h ago
Honestly it’s probably better than you weren’t seen with her, not the other way around.
This woman jumped the honeymoon phase and went straight into coercive/manipulative abuser mode.
This is wild work and she did you a favour! This whole thing was her testing you and it’s despicable.
Also face jewelry is hot as helllllll to the right person.
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u/FlobyToberson85 17h ago
Don't apologize to her. Don't validate her ridiculous viewpoint. It's enough to say, "You are entitled to your opinion. Clearly this isn't a good match. Take care."
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u/labrujitabuena 17h ago
That’s a lot of effort for someone who seems like a miserable POS with few redeeming qualities. All she’s done is tear you down. You deserve better than that.
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u/FaceCrime225 17h ago
Perfect analysis!! This woman right here will hold their future partners hostage for the rest of their lives. After she sucks them dry of any vitality they ever had. Then she going to being a narcissistic mother. This is a sticky sticky spider web.
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u/Kanakyu 17h ago
I think she is wanting hin to change his looks for whatt she wants.... He shouldn't do it
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u/Effective-End-964 17h ago
I think it’s less about the look itself and more about seeing how far she can go and what he’s willing to give up
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u/tally-strobe 17h ago
Excellent summary. I appreciate the point-by-point breakdown.
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u/Kursmudgen 18h ago
this woman is downright rude. block her and don’t even give her comments a second thought. some people are incredibly miserable and insecure and make it everyone else’s problem
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u/embunny1513 18h ago
Why would someone else’s nose piercing make someone cry after a single date… what a psycho
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u/yallermysons 18h ago
Yeah that stuck out to me too. To say it in the first place is a testament to her character lol but why are you crying because your date had a nose piercing 🤣
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u/TiffanyTwisted11 16h ago
Seriously. Having a lot of piercings is not my thing, but A nose piercing would not set me off that way. Not to mention the fact OP says the piercing is visible in their picture. It’s not like it was a surprise.
Something is wrong with this girl.
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u/JustJorgi 18h ago
“I went home and cried.” Girl needs a therapist not a date.
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u/ThePlotThickens_22 17h ago
Exactly my thoughts. She needs therapy to deal with whatever that mess of a text message thread is. Plus she’s venting to the dude that she just insulted. Like, what?!
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u/Gorgonesque 13h ago edited 2h ago
“I can’t find anyone fun or spontaneous”
Here comes a person with a bit of whimsy in their presentation
“IDK you could be a 10 but nose jewelry??!!”
This person doesn’t want someone spontaneous or fun, because doing something outside of her very rigid expectations and comfort settings will definitely result in a bad time for both parties.
Update: oh wow, thanks for the awards!
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u/samrov529 12h ago edited 10h ago
Seiously- 20 years ago I had a guy tell me on our first date that he didn’t like girls with tattoos… After seeing my tattoos in my profile pic. Way too much drama for a dude I just met. Lets start normalizing not settling for someone who thinks they’re settling for you.
Thanks for the award!!!
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u/lilF0xx 11h ago
I hate when ppl say things like this about my tattoos, piercings, etc esp bc mine can be hidden & are done “tastefully”. It’s gross. When I worked at Penthouse years ago, I had a customer walk up, randomly hand me $500 & put a hand in my face when I tried to thank him & say, “you could be gorgeous, remove the piercings & come find me”. Okay, sure bud, W for me. I got some more piercings & body jewelry. OP normally, I wouldn’t want someone to cry, but in this case I woulda responded, trying to not be glad you cried but you’re rude as f sooo. This reminds me how rough Tinder can be & makes me glad I’ve been in a relationship nearly 11 yr. We actually met on Tinder btw so there’s hope haha
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u/SilverTippedFauxHawk 9h ago
Yeah - she cried because her body is revolted by how uptight she is.
OP - to the right people, you're a 10 already just how you are.
If you had photos of your piercings in your profile, and she did this, she's done you a favor. Imagine how miserable dates with her would be
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u/RayHazey562 13h ago
Yessss! This person doesn’t know what fun or spontaneous means lol
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u/a-giant-enemy-crab 16h ago
Why does she text like an incel lol. Dont even get me started with “I cried when I got home” like … okay??
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u/aSituationTypeDeal 15h ago
lol thought those were going to be the dude’s texts.
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u/mistalynn 15h ago
Same! I mean, people or people, and people can be assholes no matter what gender they are. But at first, I was like oh wow, this is some red pill asshole. Which I think it is, she just happens to be a woman.
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u/a-giant-enemy-crab 16h ago
Also, OP darling, please don’t ever feel bad about yourself because of an ugly person like this. She sounds (charitably) extremely childish (why is she fishing for your attention and validation and continuing to talk to you after running out on you lol?) and is probably a narcissist. She’s ranting to you about yourself like you’re one of her girlfriends getting a debrief after the date. Super weird behavior, and definitely a vapid jerk. I doubt there is much between those ears besides dust bunnies and hot gas. Also, pulling you between compliments and insults is a VERY obvious manipulation tactic. I would just block this person and forget they exist.
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u/yetagainitry 15h ago
When I first read the screenshots before the caption. I swore OP was the female and the other was a incel male.
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u/EnvironmentalPop1371 18h ago
Lord. I have no words other than please do not remove the “nose shit.” She sucks.
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u/nap---enthusiast 17h ago
For real whatta bitch. And she cried?? Get a grip, jesus christ. OP, this girl saying you look 16/17 while acting like she's 16/17 is wild. Tell her to go fuck herself and block her.
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u/AprilHam_Lincoln 17h ago
dang. I'm not sure how old everyone in this is but I'm 36f and terrified of the dating game now. She was full on mean. If it's not working, she should have moved on. What was her saying that going to do for anyone here?
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u/lifeinplasticitsmeh 17h ago
seriously. i reconnected with an old coworker recently (both moved on from that place) we dated for a couple months, i wasn’t too into it anyway, he sent the big text, i just said “all good, no worries :) take care” nary an insult between either of us, not necessary.
her and OP aren’t aligned, and that’s okay. shouldn’t mean he gets insulted about it.
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u/JadedFootball4733 16h ago edited 15h ago
I’m thinking she thought maybe he was going to be like “I’ll change for you!! Tell me exactly what you want me to do.” And was probably shocked when he didn’t bow down.
Eta - someone said they’re both women. My comment still stands. Some women think they are domineering due to whatever, their personality, past experience, but somewhere in life they picked up this Diva attitude where they expect it to go down like this.
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u/Vintage-Grievance 14h ago
I'm 29f, and the stuff some people post makes me SOOOOOO glad I'm asexual/single.
I do not have what it takes to enter the dating game...it's like the emotional equivalent of playing Russian roulette while waltzing through a minefield.
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u/DimensionGlass9987 17h ago
Omg I thought “nose shit” meant you were doing blow on a first date, did not expect it to be a piercing, and I was like Welllll that’s fair. But no, this person has issues.
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u/gothpriest 18h ago
people offended by piercings genuinely have some cognitive issue or something. seriously.
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u/Effective-End-964 18h ago
They hate them for a reason. Not saying I agree with them lol I’m also alt. But they hate them for the same reason conservatives hate them.
They’re self expression :-) Controlling people don’t appreciate self expression.
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u/MysteriousDriver7281 18h ago
Does she think you're some character she can customise to her own taste? 😭
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u/MrRoar95 18h ago
She's not being blunt, she's being rude! No wonder she can't find someone
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u/WaterDreamer10 17h ago
Reading this text I was prepared for the OP to be the girl and the other to be the man (yes, I did catch the 'man' in the texts but I have seen others on here texting woman using 'man' as well - which is just strange to me).
I was a bit shocked to see it was the opposite.
Then again, the OP never stated they were not a woman as well so that is highly possible today too.
I guess it is just too damn early to figure this mess out - I need my coffee first.
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u/dubsesq 15h ago
the women have evolved to learn negging, we must warn the others
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u/WhirlwindTobias 17h ago edited 4h ago
No, no. Left texts look like it's a dude giving unsolicited appearance advice. Especially the part about potentially being a 10.
Edit: Stop blowing up my inbox with corrections. The "no, no" means "no need to feel bad, you're justified in thinking it was a male".
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u/Alex_AU_gt 17h ago
However its the girl giving the advice. Op is a man and he has nose ring.
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u/jokersupersoaker 14h ago
It definitely says “I met a woman on fb” so the left is definitely a woman
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u/pinkbootstrap 17h ago
I've never seen a woman use a number rating for a person lol it sounds like red pill bs but uh... women can be anything we want I guess 🤣😞
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u/Ok-Dot-9324 15h ago
Or they’re gay and both women? Thats what I thought
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u/pinkbootstrap 12h ago
A gay woman not into nose piercings is going to have a bad time 🤣
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u/Legitimate-Dingo-687 15h ago
I assume those were ages? Like, OP dresses like they're 17 and the nose ring makes them look 16?
IDK the whole thing is judgy and odd.
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u/WannaBeCoder912 13h ago
There’s like a whole trend of women saying things like he’s a ten but… and then giving a new rating after the but.
For example… he’s a ten but he still lives with his mom so he’s a six.
Honestly I hear women giving a number rating to men far more than the reverse.
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u/foobarney 16h ago
Given that the date said "if I had your dimples and eye color", I assumed they were both women.
Doesn't much matter, though. Whether OP is a man or a woman, the date can fuck right off. With raisins.
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u/User123466789012 17h ago
We need to stop being polite to fucking lunatics - you were way too nice here. You don't have to stoop to her level of superficiality, but you are well within your rights to tell her to fuck off and talk to a professional. This isn't normal.
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u/gaylien_babe 17h ago
I have a nose piercing and I dont understand why people go out of their way to swipe on me on apps just to tell me Id look better without it. Like, why waste either of our times? Also, do they think Im going to be like "okay hold on", take my piercing out, post all new photos, and then hook up with them for saying that to me?
It seems like the only thing you really missed out on in this situation was food. She sounds like a loser that likes putting others down. Block her and try again.
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u/KoolAidZenSZA 17h ago
i’m 30 with a septum. fuck those weirdos dude ill never understand why people think its their place. i always say “id rather look like a bull than a judgmental asshole”
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u/Troglodyterror 18h ago
Who the fuck does this?
You just say you didn’t feel the pull/spark or whatever you want to call it. You don’t break down someone’s appearance.
I’d tell her to go fuck herself, she’s shallow like a puddle with the social skills of a 3yo.
You seem nice, so just block and never go near the brat again.
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u/browsingbananas 1h ago
That conversation says a lot about who she is and you should be thankful of that nose piercing right now.
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u/homesickforsomewhere 18h ago
You told her she makes fair points and thanked her for the compliments?! Noooooooo….😩
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u/RemarkableCover7462 17h ago
You’re nice, but you come across weak. Own who you are and be UNAPOLOGETIC about it. This person is a bully, clearly unhappy and doesn’t deserve your time. You have nothing to apologize for when being yourself. Those were not compliments, they were criticisms from someone with a superiority complex and low self-esteem.
Next time, either don’t respond or state how proud of yourself / style you are and next their ass immediately. If they do message again or did, just say “I’m not interested in continuing this conversation. You’re a bully.” And block.
Despite what you say. This would hurt anyone’s feeling. This was mean. You dress the way you do and have your own sense of style because that’s you. Be happy it pushed someone like this away. Fuck them.
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u/Throwawaytohell-126 15h ago
I feel like you shouldn’t respond or engage with people like this. Just block her, she’s not worth the time or energy to even respond to such an idiotic rude text. Life is too short to be engaging with these assholes.
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u/RedYellowOrangeGreen 17h ago
I think your response sounds like the weaker person response tbh. That reads like someone whose feelings were hurt.
OP’s responses sounded like someone who’s so comfortable with who they are that they don’t even care enough to bother with all that ‘I love who I am you can’t hurt my feelings BLOCKED’
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u/Consistent_Ad_5075 17h ago
Yessssss!!!! If we learn anything as we accumulate years lived, it's to he unapologetically ourselves. Pierce the parts, wear the chains, accessories in bones. Whatever your style, if you're not hurting anyone or yourself, do the things and be happy!
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u/EducationalSlice9667 18h ago
She sounds awful. Also please don't let people rate you on a number scale. It's gross behavior. Bullet dodged.
Ps nose piercings are hot
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u/AverageTomatoSize 18h ago
Don't let people talk to you like that. Have more selfrespect. Block her. When in doubt, think about whether you would ever talk to a woman like that; I would hope not.
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u/Magikarper1987 18h ago
She is clearly incredibly toxic. It's great that you didn't have to sit through a dinner with her. She sounds absolutely awful. Credit to you for being so calm over text. I would block her and don't take anything to heart. You should dress how you want to dress and wear the piercings you want to wear. This person is a walking red flag.
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u/qwokwa 18h ago
Please have some respect for yourself... that woman does not respect you, she is insanely rude and absolutely nasty. She did not make "fair points" and she didn't give you any compliments, because those compliments were "if you were different than you are I'd find you fuckable".
If people insult you, don't apologize for being yourself. I know it's difficult and you probably liked her a lot. But she's just looking to put you down and control your appearance.
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u/_alienchild_ 18h ago
*person complains about not being able to find a fun and spontaneous people
*upon meeting someone for the first time, same person is a wet fucking blanket
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u/TheBigBadMoth 18h ago edited 16h ago
“I want someone fun and spontaneous but they CANT HAVE ANYTHING ON THEM THAT SHOWS THAT!!!! Or else I’ll CRY like a BABY!!!”
What a little bitch. I’d have blocked her immediately after the first shown message. Yuck.
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u/bbg_bbg 18h ago
Next time don’t apologize for being yourself. If someone doesnt like you for how you are then it won’t work out anyways. She was a total bitch about it and I would have called her out on that tbh.
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u/NocturnObscura 17h ago
You may be giving “17”, but she’s giving “that one horrible child from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory”.
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u/Person8346 18h ago
She seems socially inept, this is plain unacceptable behaviour imo. Be glad you didn't waste money on a dinner
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u/Aggressive-Shop-2342 18h ago
Narrator: but she did not hate being so blunt.
She's rude and mean and judgemental for no reason. Theres something actually wrong with a person who would feel the need to say this after a date no matter what.
Block her forever.
In better news, youre good looking, lile a 10, have a great personality, are fun and spontaneous and also feel good enough in yourself to present yourself like you, piercings and all.
Go find someone who likes your look and enjoy.
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u/werisefromourashes 17h ago
So she's looking for somebody fun and spontaneous, but they must be fun and spontaneous within what she wants?
It sounds like one of those women who get with somebody hoping that they'll change into who she really wants.
Run free OP!
Run and enjoy the feeling of not having to put up with a psycho!
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u/ancalime9 17h ago
You are way too nice here. I'm not saying you need to be rude back but you don't need to accept someone talking to you like that. She isn't wrong for having her own preferences but you are a person and not her dress-up doll.
If someone starts talking to you like that, I would strongly suggest you just block them and move on. They are unpleasant and not worth your time.
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u/SianBeast 16h ago
"you make fair points"
No they don't! Don't entertain someone like this. They were literally slating you the whole way and you've said they made fair points?! She sounds like a dickhead, especially if you 'advertised' yourself with said nose piercing in the first place.
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u/TheycallmeElla 18h ago
If it helps, there are many women who LOVE a nose piercing on a man. And who wouldn’t be as rude as this “lady”.
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u/Ulikebigbuttss 18h ago
Wow. I read the texts before the post, and I was 100% sure that was a man. I didn’t know any women used negging as a tactic. Eww.
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u/Lonely-Tree-157 17h ago
JFC she talks to you like that and you don't feel like you dodged a bullet??
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u/beachhunt 17h ago
"My problem is" and then says nothing about themselves. This reads more like textual assault than feedback. Congrats on not having to date someone manipulative.
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u/Gaurdedlotus 18h ago
she sounds impossible to please... if you don't like nose rings don't date someone with a nose ring... she thought she could throw at fit and you would jump to fit her mold
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u/Arkhangelzk 17h ago
Why would she text you all this? Just to be mean? I'd just block her and forget about it, this isn't the type of person you want to have a relationship with anyway.
There is a lot of irony in her insinuating that you're the immature one while she's doing this
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u/Fearless_Macaron5271 17h ago
Wow. Idek what to say to this.
As a woman who is extremely blunt, I’d NEVER behave like this. A simple “hey thanks for dinner. Unfortunately, it wasn’t what I had expected so I won’t be seeing you again” would have been enough.
Fuck, no wonder she’s single and on Facebook dating.
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u/Bootsy_Frost 17h ago
I see this as an absolute win. You don't have to do anything with this dummy ever again.
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u/SuperPotato1 18h ago
So she knew what you looked like from your profile and still got mad when she showed up. At least she didn’t use you for dinner
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u/MiserableSalad69 18h ago
Funny, she doesn’t sound fun or spontaneous herself, more like a huge fucking douche.
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u/Only-Bat1867 18h ago
Well you dodged a bullet if someone can’t handle a nose piercing then they obviously aren’t for you since you like that. And acting like it’s something only 16 year olds do😭 it’s insane
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u/Razzington 17h ago
Hum, if anyone is giving 16-17 its her. By the time people are adults they should judge people on who they are, not the accessories they enjoy. She just told you she's superficial and can't overcome that. But hey, at least you're hot. Take that one to the bank and ignore everything else she said!
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u/wixed11one 17h ago
"wardrobe is giving 17 and nose shit is giving 16" isn't this how teenagers talk?
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u/TacoDoc2 18h ago edited 17h ago
That's negging. You should laugh in her pathetic face and be happy you dodged a bullet on this one.
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u/Express-Stomach-8666 18h ago
She could've just said she didn't feel a connection instead of attacking things you like that you have on piercings/clothing. You're indeed a 10 to someone who will like you for you and not their gross idealized version.
I'm also not going to lie; I am indeed curious about the outfit that was so apparently insulting that you wore on this date, though.
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u/Even-Complaint-7494 18h ago
she has more issues than vogue fr. WHO goes off like this on a date over… a piercing? that’s very much not sane behavior. she can dislike piercings and your dressing style all she wants i guess, but i assure you SHES the problem, not you lol
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u/Nervous_Rain_5845 18h ago
Maybe write a message back saying you could also be a ten but your attitude makes you sound like you’re about 8 years old & just block her
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u/Numerous-Turnover518 18h ago
Backhanded compliments are not compliments! Those aren’t fair points. Trust ur feelings. What are they telling u.
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u/Jealous_Parfait_4967 18h ago
“Your nose ring made me cry” is bonkers. None of this is actually a reflection on you.
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u/Natural_Log_5258 17h ago
She was extremely insulting and pathetic. You dodged a massive bullet. It sucks but hope you still ate food and it was good. I do want to see your nose piercing lol I have one and I love them
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u/JFN90 17h ago
Nooo that’s so controlling. If she feels entitled to tell you how to look already, imagine how much worse it gets later.
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u/hangryherbert 17h ago
“I hate to be blunt but here’s a list of things you should change about yourself to make me happy”.
You’ve dodged a bullet there, block and move on!
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u/Overall-Dirt4441 17h ago
my problem is I can't find anyone who is fun and spontaneous
so close to self reflection yet so very far
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u/whichonewerecowards 17h ago
Tf is wrong with her? Better yet why are you letting her talk to you like that?
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u/NoAdministration299 17h ago
She has right to not feel a connection. She does not have the right to personally attack you and blame your looks for the lack of connection. Block her and move on she needs help.
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u/Dismal-Cup2517 5h ago
lol do NOT change for this person. If a nose ring is a dealbreaker then bye bye
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u/NihilistWithWifi 17h ago
I have piercings, tattoos, and dress in many various styles. I wear as many fully tailored suits as I do ripped jeans, Jordan’s, and vintage band tees.
But I own it, I love my personality, my taste, my tattoos and piercings; they’re me. You need to do the same.
Don’t let her belittle you. If someone tells you that you “give 16,” just smile and remind them that they give “peaked in high school and have been making it everyone else’s problem ever since.”
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u/smolppsupremacy 18h ago
Yuck. She sounds insufferable and honestly just like such a mean human. How the hell can you say ANY of this to someone.. holy fuck. That’s so rude. Please block, delete, and forget about this shitstain on humanity
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u/Queasy-Olive3381 18h ago
She's being downright awful and you're still being incredibly gracious. If you're a possible 10 with dimples and a fancy eye colour then go out and get someone who appreciates that, without the negativity!
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u/Lissypooh628 17h ago
Curious how old you actually are. Are you 45 “giving” 17? Or 19 “giving” 17? 🫠
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u/needween 17h ago
"I know my problem is I can't find anyone who is fun or spontaneous"
Yet immediately sucks the fun out of the room and tries to take it out of OP too... Have can you find someone fun if you literally go home immediately?
She's the problem OP. You did nothing wrong (except be too nice to her rude ass in the messages.)
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u/Ok-Tear4735 17h ago
Ignore her. She’s projecting a lot of self loathing onto you and that’s not cool. Protect your peace
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u/MercurialMercyy 17h ago
Get a septum and snakebites and plan a second date under the pretense of removing the nose ring.
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u/Careful-Positive-710 17h ago
Why are you apologizing to this person? Be who you are and if people dont like that then oh well.
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u/SpaceAbject1940 17h ago
Insults you and is plain rude.
You: fair points and I appreciate your compliments.
Dude grow a damn spine,
You truelly must be a huge mess if her complaints are valid and even then she could just say you're not her type and move on.
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u/After_Ad9257 17h ago
She is aggressive and rude. The older I’ve gotten, the more I realize that 99% of the time in situations like this, it’s not you but the other person. You sides a bullet.
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u/McCrumblton 17h ago
She saw your profile picture beforehand, agreed to go grab food and still made it about herself in the end like shes the issue…all after saying you have “good attributes but the wardrobe is…”
Dont ever put yourself down, she doesn’t make fair points and you deserve someone who actually gives a flying fadoodle. You’re amazing OP keep shining
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u/Icy_Cry_5942 18h ago
Lol she cried at home because you had a nose ring and she didn't like your clothes ?! 😆 I wouldn't give her another thought!