I (37F) met a guy at a concert yesterday. He approached me, asked for my number, and we exchanged texts afterward.
He asked if I was free and said we should hang out. He even wanted to see me that same night, but I wasn't available. We ended up discussing meeting another day.
When I asked what he had in mind for our plans, he hadn't actually thought of anything and asked me for suggestions. I started feeling like we weren't really on the same wavelength, but I was still open to seeing how things went.
Meanwhile, I realized something about myself: I'm genuinely not ready to date right now. I recently got out of a long-term relationship, and I'd already made a commitment to myself to stay single until the beginning of next year. I want to honor that instead of going on dates when I'm not emotionally available.
So I sent him a polite message explaining that I wasn't ready to date, didn't want to lead him on, and would potentially be open to exploring things in the future when I was in a different place.
His response? He started calling me stupid and insulting my intelligence, saying we weren't dating and asking why I was talking about my headspace when he had simply asked me to hang out.
I KNOW we weren't dating. We'd literally just met! But he approached me, asked for my number, wanted to pick me up, repeatedly asked to hang out, and practically begged me to hang out tonight. I interpreted that as romantic interest, which doesn't seem unreasonable to me.
If he meant it platonically, he could have clarified that. If he was disappointed that I wasn't available, he could have said so. Instead, he chose to insult me.
I eventually fired back and blocked him. I could have handled my response more gracefully, but I have zero tolerance for someone speaking to me that way.
What makes this even more concerning is that I later found out that he lied about his age, name and even where he lived.
I'm honestly baffled. Why pursue someone, then act offended when they politely explain they're not ready to date? This is what dating in 2026 really is because I am not made for this.
Am I missing something here, or was his reaction completely disproportionate?