When you forget that other people don’t cook like you

[u/SurgeTheUrge511]

[u/Exotic_Yam_1703]

I have a coworker (in a different department and building, so I don't even see him) who keeps asking me for help with his cooking. I'll send him a simple recipe and break it down into easy steps that anyone can follow, and he'll complain that it sounds "too complicated" and can't I just "come over and teach him how to cook." I said I would only if he attempted to cook it himself first so we could work on what he had trouble with. He won't do it. However, he wants to buy every kitchen gadget imaginable and have a "high tech/luxury kitchen." I told him I have no patience for anyone who wants to learn to cook but refuses to even try on their own because cooking basic meals is very easy.

[u/SurgeTheUrge511 → u/Exotic_Yam_1703]

Same for me. I break it down so easy that a toddler could do it, but sometimes I forget how passionate I am about cooking and it all just comes easy to me and I WANT to do it

[u/Exotic_Yam_1703 → u/SurgeTheUrge511]

Same! I try to take into consideration that I have a passion for cooking and not everyone does. I have no formal training; I've just tried things and learned as I went along. I always tell people, "this is going to sound mean, but cooking isn't hard," because it really isn't! I'm not expecting you to whip out a dover sole or beef wellington, but making a one-pan pasta dish is fairly basic stuff.

I made homemade pizza for a friend in my pizza oven a few weeks ago. She was so impressed that she bought her own and has been experimenting; her pizzas have turned out stunning! And she just started making them a month ago!

It just really bugs me when people make no attempt to try for themselves and then complain that it's too hard. It's a skill, yes, but it just takes a little practice.

[u/SaltySaltSlice → u/Exotic_Yam_1703]

Good for you, in both your situation and OPs it kind of feels like weaponised incompetentence for home-cooked meal without lifting a finger

[u/Exotic_Yam_1703 → u/Exotic_Yam_1703]

Most recent recipe I gave him was:

If you like ground meat in your pasta dishes, just cook that in a skillet with some chopped onion and garlic, salt, pepper, oregano, parsley. maybe add some heavy cream and parmesan. Add cooked noodles. Throw a can of crushed tomatoes in there if you want a chunky tomato-y sauce

His response:

A lot of big words were just thrown at me

???

Jeez, I never thought a message to my coworker would draw such ire! It was part of a larger conversation about me trying to encourage him to attempt to cook pasta. I knew he wasn’t going to attempt anything, no matter how much I explained the steps to him. He just wants me to come over and “show him,” aka he wants me to just cook him food while he does nothing. I’ve given him step-by-step recipes before and he also says those are too complicated. There is no amount of explaining I could do that would make him actually try

*edited for spelling mistake

[u/mapmakinworldbuildin → u/Exotic_Yam_1703]

To be fair. You worded that in the worst most wordy way ever.

[u/Exotic_Yam_1703 → u/mapmakinworldbuildin]

I feel like it sounds pretty conversational and easy. I just wrote how I approach cooking a dish like that. If he was actually going to make it and had questions about quantity, I'd tell him. But I wasn't going to waste more time telling him measurements when I know he wasn't going to try anyway

[u/ellie_elysian → u/Exotic_Yam_1703]

 If you had given him a list of ingredients and steps, he would be complaining that "its just a list of things. Idk what I have to do".

You can't fix wilful incompetence with wording.  

[u/Exotic_Yam_1703 → u/ellie_elysian]

I have before and his response was “now I have to go buy all that stuff.”

[u/mapmakinworldbuildin → u/Exotic_Yam_1703]

As someone who cooks frequently. What you posted has nothing he can even work with.

It’d be like if an art teacher said “so you get paint. Then paint an owl”.

I’m not saying he’s not intentionally helpless. You just used a really bad example.

[u/Odd-Cod2516 → u/mapmakinworldbuildin]

Agreed.

I don't cook, and if someone threw that at me, I'd never attempt it.

[u/Exotic_Yam_1703 → u/Odd-Cod2516]

Can I ask how it could have been worded better? Genuinely, not being sarcastic here. How could I have typed it out to make you/him/someone attempt to cook it?

It was part of a larger conversation about how he should attempt something on his own first so I quickly typed that up

[u/mapmakinworldbuildin → u/Exotic_Yam_1703]

Salt some garlic cloves and onions. Cook them slowly in a pan low heat until it is golden stir occasionally.

Bring pot to boil for spaghetti while that cooks

Remove the onions and garlic to a seperate bowl when they are golden.

Add noodles to boiling water.

Season beef with salt, pepper oregano and parsley. Cook in the pan used for onions on medium heat.

When browned lower heat. add the onions, garlic, heavy cream, Parmesan, and tomato paste.

Strain and add noodles after the sauce has simmered.

This guide makes the steps and method much more easily broken down and is easier to follow in spite of being technically more complex.

This is not to say it would at all help the guy you’re talking about. You could have done something similar and he’s weaponized incompetence. It was just a bad example.

[u/Odd-Cod2516 → u/Exotic_Yam_1703]

Just sounds like slop, and the directions aren't clear at all.

[u/UpAndNo → u/Exotic_Yam_1703]

If it's someone learning to cook, I wouldn't bother mentioning oregano and parsley. Half because I think they add minimal benefits, and half because it's doubtful they'll use it all before it expires (looking at you, parsley).

Dice an onion and fry until smells good (3-4 minutes). Add 500g mince and brown. Add can of chopped tomatoes, salt and pepper. Simmer on slow until reduced, and then pour over pasta. Garnish with parmesan.

If they do well with that and want to keep going, then you can be more fancy. Suggest the heavy cream. Suggest other herbs and spices. Explain how adding raw sugar can cut the acidity of the tomatoes.

Meet them at their level.

[u/SuspiciousCat4446]

This sounds like a very straightforward marinade to me?

[u/kukenn_]

“yeah you’re right sorry, forgot who i was talking to. just put the oxtail in the airfryer. should be all good to go 👍”

[u/Jack_Forge]

sounds like a good recipe,

[u/omrmajeed]

what is the issue here?

[u/SurgeTheUrge511 → u/omrmajeed]

He wanted something “simple”. I’m almost sure he only has about 4 of the ingredients in his pantry

[u/Sypsy → u/SurgeTheUrge511]

Who the heck buys oxtail and thinks they can just whip it up like a steak with salt and pepper

It's gonna be braised and it's gonna be braised with love because it's a waste of time otherwise. (or slow cook or pressure cooker but imo it's the same effort just not as good.)

[u/mapmakinworldbuildin]

That looks exactly like how you should cook oxtails.

People who can’t braise are so funny.

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[u/ClintBraun89]

Seems reasonable. How else are you going to do oxtails?

[u/Brechtian_]

This seems like a basic marinade to me? Wtf does he want, chicken nuggets?

[u/Grand-Cantaloupe9090]

So I was really really bad at cooking in my early 20s. As a teenager it seemed boring so I didn't bother to learn (my mom did try). Then, I got married at 18 (bad idea, we're now happily divorced), moved to a completely different state, and no longer has my mom to cook for me. I spent like the first 6 months on hamburger helper and heat and eat chap, because I didn't know how to cook. The first time I made chicken and rice? My broccoli was mush, the rice was crunchy in some areas and mushy in others, the chicken was sad and not even shredded, I didn't even mix the mushroom soup in properly.

This recipe is literally rice, water, chicken, broccoli, cheese, and a can of cream of either mushroom or chicken (I love mushrooms so I usually go for it), and I still managed to fuck it up.

My bffs mom used to make homemade Mac and cheese that was super yummy, so I asked for the recipe. Her mom sent bag "oh it's super easy, just butter, milk, cheese, heavy whipping cream, and noodles. Sprinkle breadcrumbs on top and bake in the oven at 350."

19yo me put rock hard noodles and all the other ingredients in a baking dish and put it the oven.

I know it's crazy, but some people literally need to be told to boil noodles. I think when there's a large skill gap, what seems easy isn't. If you really want to teach someone to cook you have to start with extremely basic recipes. Like the kind that use <10 basic ingredients that teach fundamental skills, like how to boil noodles, or make rice, or how to season "to taste", searing meats, temping meats, the list goes on.

but most importantly they have to be willing to listen, learn, and make mistakes. It look years to get where I am now, my Mac and cheese is a Thanksgiving favorite, and I've damn near perfected a bunch of stuff like Alfredo from scratch, stuffed mushrooms, spaghetti(I sneak in soo many veggies, and the kiddo loves it), chicken parm, but the closest I get to baking is pancakes, and even then I have to look up a recipe for the ratios (my mom can eyeball that shit and they turn out perfect)

[u/asakimX]

he just dont throw down enough for good oxtails, give him some chicken nuggies instead

[u/chrisdacrump]

Did he want a fancier recipe for oxtail? Yours looks simple and delicious. Tell him not to do too much

[u/SurgeTheUrge511 → u/chrisdacrump]

I thought it was simple too, but I STAY in the kitchen… He wanted something SIMPLE simple lol

[u/chrisdacrump → u/SurgeTheUrge511]

Salt n ketchup

[u/Loose_Arrow]

Some people just dont cook. Box mac and cheese ain't the same as ingredients and adjustments. My coworker told me he throws down in the kitchen, then said he makes Dino nuggets for his family for an easy meal. Cooking is an art, most forget that.

[u/slizzardly]

You seem like a cooking snob, and sending a recipe like that gives off how pretentious your attitude is