r/texts • u/EfficientYou9259 • 8h ago
Phone message Girlfriend broke up with me over money
I am 30m and met the girl of my dreams a few months back in the summer. She is beautiful, amazing, sweet, and a hard worker. However, when I met her she told me that she didn’t want a relationship due to her having financial and mental health difficulties. I respected it but asked to still hang out. Eventually one thing lead to another and we ended up in a relationship. Things were going well I thought but she broke it off earlier today due to her saying that she’s broke and depressed.
Now I understand the depressed part but idc that she’s broke. I love her and I just want to be around her. Plus she isn’t greedy. She never asks for anything. I just love being in her presence. But she feels like she still isn’t doing enough. I wish that she could see that I don’t care. I just love her. But she doesn’t want this.
I just hate that she’s going through this.
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u/South_Butterscotch37 8h ago
I understand her. It feels like absolute shit trying to date when you are broke. Maybe there’s another chance for y’all if she’s able to get it together.
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u/AriaTheTransgressor 7h ago
My partner and I have been together for 10 years, cancer means the best we'll ever get is 15 if we're lucky. When we first got together she was living off $20/week her brother was sending her. She's never been able to work, and I've never needed her to, we worked out just fine.
Not gonna lie, it's awkward at the beginning because they will feel they need to contribute and because they can't financially they'll feel forced into stuff you didn't ask for so do make sure to watch for those moments and stop them cause they'll just make you both feel awful.
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u/EfficientYou9259 8h ago
I hope so. I’m going to see if we can still be friends. She’s just so special. I don’t want to lose her.
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u/Moist_Carry_7054 8h ago edited 2h ago
Then tell her that instead of saying just "Ok." Devastating.
Come on man - People would kill for that level of thought out reason for a breakup. And it is well reasoned.
Edit: Everything above is untouched. This blew up, and I'm glad there are so many people out there who do understand how communication works - my faith in humanity is slightly higher than it was before.
I'm adding a piece to address multiple comments below saying "but OP's first message...". I am fully aware that OP expressed his desire to stay with the woman. Now we are focusing on the closing of the conversation. Leaving things on as best a foot as possible.
After the woman has outlined her position (very clearly), it is incredibly dismissive to simply respond with "Ok." Saying "Ok, I hear you, I will respect your wishes and give you space", is infinitely better than just "Ok".
Being verbose here is better for medium to long-term impact management.
Reverse the messages and anticipate the impact. If you send 3 well thought out paragraphs, pour your heart out, and the only response you receive (that we out of context can see) is "Ok." In the future when she looks back on the conversation, she will only remember the "Ok."
I refer you all to the film "Dead Poet Society" staring Robin Williams, of which has amazing anecdotes outlining the importance of communicating through language.
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u/Diligent-Macaron7388 8h ago
No honestly, “ok” is such a dipshit response. Tell her how you feel and maybe yall will have a chance in the future; I’m not trying to be critical, your texts just communicate that you’re disinterested.
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u/BittaminMusic 7h ago
To me I can see its potentially shock; they probably replied the second they read the texts. If anything, OK rather than flying off the handle is a potential for future saving grace because they didn’t fly off the handle.
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u/Fluid_Balance_4890 6h ago
This. If you come back with a “hey, I’m sorry for my initial response, I needed a minute to process” etc etc it’s totally salvageable. She approached with honesty and vulnerability and returning that with the same will go a long way
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u/Mollytov11 4h ago
This.
"I know my response may have come across as disenterested, but I care and don't want to lose our relationship, but I don't know how to support you and keep you in my life. I was just in shock and had to process how this was crumbling down."
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u/MoiraBrownsMoleRats 8h ago edited 7h ago
Thank you.
I went through something similar just this past year - woman I was seeing was dealing with serious overwhelm about things going on in her life, she tried to stick it out and stay in the relationship, ultimately she decided she just couldn't.
It broke my heart because dear God do we have legitimately S-tier chemistry, but I also completely understood where she was coming from and why.
So I validated, told her Im proud of her for taking the time to take care of herself, and told her I hope we find a way to still be in each other's lives.
We took space for a few months, stayed warm and friendly. I gave her zero pressure. Eventually her vulnerable checkins turned into us talking again like normal - nothing heavy, just fun. A few months after the split and we're (very happily) dating again. Legitimately, she just needed time to work through some things.
Its not 1:1, OP, but its close enough. Youve done nothing wrong, but it still hurts. Validate her, be warm to her, but live your life. Let her do what she has to for herself, leave the door unlocked but don't sit around staring at it. Match her maturity. I can't promise anything, but this doesn't reading like a woman simply looking for an excuse to bail - she sounds like someone currently just focused on surviving.
Oh, and don't talk about this shit on Reddit - you're just going to invite a bunch of bitter and hurt people to project their insecurities onto your situation, and that shit is toxic for your peace.
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u/Afraid-Way7541 6h ago
Same here. My girl was falling into a tough mental spot and needed time and space to find her self independent from our relationship. Did everything I could to encourage it and hope we could get back together when she was in a better spot. Few months later and we started working on getting back together. 1 year later and we’re now engaged. When you really love someone it just takes a little patience and support.
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u/coolcoolrunnins 6h ago
Currently going through this. I feel absolutely devastated because we really had something special. Her past circumstances with men haven't been great when it came to financial help. I did it for a while until it came to a halt because she felt so helpless and she's a very very independent person. So though I thought I was helping and keeping her afloat, it ultimately made her feel worse. Even with me being very adamant I expected nothing in return and would never hold it over her head. She had a job offer in the field she studied for but declined as she felt it didn't pay enough to get her by. So unfortunately, she decided moving a state away to her mother's house was her only option.
If the stars align there could be a chance. But I'm not holding my breath. All I can do is focus on myself and my goals. It's been a lonely month to say the least.
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u/Danibelle903 4h ago
Yup. I broke up with my now boyfriend. Nothing went wrong. We never fought. No one cheated. I just wasn’t in the right headspace to be with him. We kept in touch because while hurt, he wasn’t mad at me. We were sad, not cruel. A few years later, the timing was perfect and we’ve been back together for two years now.
Do I think everyone should get back together with their ex? No. Do I think sometimes people break up for reasons outside the relationship and a different time might work out? Absolutely.
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u/RememberTooSmile 7h ago edited 7h ago
First comment I’ve ever awarded, blew my fucking mind to see “ok.” At the end of her pouring her heart out. Then to read OP’s comment that she’s so amazing was the cherry on top
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u/Cass_Cat952 7h ago
It's giving, ' I would never say this to her [Pam] face, but she's a wonderful person and a gifted artist'
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u/Upstairs_Battle_2117 8h ago
Yeah this would’ve fucking broke my heart. If you love her at least express yourself man
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u/FarmFreshPotato 8h ago
Ok.
Edit: joking. Yeah that reply to such a “pouring my heart out” statement was almost kind of comical.
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u/Meeeeoowwwwwww 7h ago
Thank you. Holy fuck. How would you expect her to KNOW THAT if you reply with Ok. 😭😭😭. Losing my mind. Expressing himself more to a stranger on reddit than to his girlfriend.
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u/nedrawevot 8h ago
I feel this conversation should be via a phone call, not a text to communicate tone of voice.
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u/spaceguitar 8h ago
As everyone has pointed out:
That "Ok" of yours speaks volumes.
For both of your sakes, I hope you never speak to one another again.
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u/vixenstarlet1949 8h ago
tell her that man. saying “ok” hurt me through the screen as someone who relates heavily to her situation lol. she was so open , the least u can do is to be open with her too. of course respect her decision but communicate to her that it doesn’t matter to you.
she still may choose to break up for now, the guilt and stress may be too much. but tell her how you feel!
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u/No_Fish265 8h ago
The fuck? Then give her a real response… girl is struggling bad and you say “okay”?
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u/d-han62 8h ago
Came to say! Because “ok.” Would’ve made me feel like I never meant anything to you.
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u/who_am_i_to_say_so 8h ago
It’s revealing. Sounds like he wasn’t into her at all.
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u/Psychological-Poet54 8h ago
Nah from my perspective it seemed like he was butt hurt hence why he couldn’t even muster up the courage to be vulnerable, resulted in him tryna play off his hurt with a cold front. Whether she’ll see it like that is another story.
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u/Temporary-Towel-7656 7h ago
right. It's like her suffering hurt his ego; it's extremely hard to be that honest & she obviously feels like she failed him. Him responding like he doesn't care just reinforces that belief.
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u/Fun_Description_02 8h ago
You need to tell her this bc “Ok.” Comes across cold AF, and you’re 30 and too old to not understand that.
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u/Rezistik 8h ago
If you like her and she is a generally ambitious person just down on her luck I’d reassure her that you’ll help as best you can to get her back on her feet
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u/foldinthecheese99 7h ago
It’s not about money. Depression causes everything to be really overwhelming. Just be supportive of her and let her know you care about her. Make sure she knows that you are there for her but be clear you are there for as a friend when she is ready. Don’t make it seem like pressure thing. If things develop later on, then that’s wonderful. If they don’t, then it wasn’t meant to be and you are able to still have the relationship that is meant to be as friends.
And please, please whatever you do - do not tell her you will wait for her as a boyfriend. That will add to her feeling overwhelmed.
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u/Ganjelf-The-Baked 8h ago
Fight for her man. Tell her you don’t give a shit about money and material things, you love her and that the only thing you want or need from her is HER.
If you love her and she loves you, you fight. There’s a time to walk away, but in my opinion, this isn’t it.
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u/Vurtikul 8h ago
Shes just so special that after getting extremely vulnerable and open about her life and situation you said "Ok." Lmaooo
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u/NoObstacle 8h ago
So special that she poured her heart out and you said "ok"?
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u/theAshleyRouge 8h ago
Then tell her that she’s special to you and that you want to help her build a future together.
“Ok” likely just made her feel like you agree with everything she just said
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u/TheShoot141 7h ago
Dont want to lose her, yet respond to her extremely vulnerable outpouring with “ok”.
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u/cocobeary 3h ago
That’s so weird though, because 26 days ago you were single and a completely different girl of your dreams wanted nothing to do with you ever? https://www.reddit.com/r/shortguys/s/XE3Y7taIGd
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u/badburglarbadburglar 2h ago
It’s getting so much harder to call these people out with the private post history. You’re doing the lord’s work!
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u/No-Lunch4249 2h ago
Honestly, for a long time people have been accusing Reddit admins of liking bot accounts and blatant karma farmers like this because they push activity which helps the stock price. I always thought it was kinda jusg a conspiracy theory until they added hidden post history as an option.
I totally understand why some very normal people want it, but it is also the single biggest thing they could have done to help bot accounts go undetected
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u/Objective-Mode-6361 2h ago
Wth? Why do people do this? (Thanks for finding his post for the rest of us) but what is his purpose? I'm mad and idk why 😅🤣
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u/Dabbage808 8h ago
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u/Administrative_Cry_9 3h ago
Almost anything as an attempt to comfort her or just to let her know he'd be there for her would have made an infinite amount of difference. Maybe just some words of encouragement? I would rather get an angry response than a seemingly dismissive one. At least then we could talk through it. This is more akin to them saying they are drowning and not to save them, and they're just like "ok".
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u/SexyAsShit 8h ago
I don't understand your response to her though. Why a dismissive "ok." after such honesty and vulnerability?
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u/Professional-Cup6225 6h ago
horrible reply - she will feel like utter shit now
"i just hate that shes going through this" OK
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u/owleyed14 6h ago
"Why can't I keep a gf?" "The divorce came out of nowhere?" " She never wants sex" they wonder why we leave, won't date, etc. Well ok
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u/KoalaBoy 8h ago
I met this girl who lost her job during the financial crisis and she couldn't find any job because no one was hiring. I was employed and had no problem paying for things. She was burning through her savings and I knew that but we just met, I wasn't going to pay her bills. I had just gotten out of a relationship where I was that sucker and the girl took advantage of it. But on weekends she would give me her debit card and ask if I could go to the grocery store and pick up a few things for breakfast so I would go and swipe my own card because I knew she couldn't afford it. She would get so mad at me when she would look at her account and not see a charge come through for the groceries. I could afford it, it wasn't a big deal. But she felt so shitty because she couldn't afford to pay for a date, or anything but we spent many evenings just walking the neighborhood or going to the beach and walking the beach or she would cook dinner and we would watch a movie. There are a lot more things you can do while dating that doesn't cost money. After a year and a half she finally got a job and we've been married for almost 14 years.
I say all that to say, She is depressed which is why she said all that and you responded with ok. She deserves better than you if that is how you're going to respond to that. She feels bad and needs reassurance and there is things you both can do together that doesn't cost money and dating doesn't have to be about money. Its about just being around the person.
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u/Bubbly_Jelly3353 6h ago
I dont know how no one is telling this 30 year old he’s a loser cause wdym you love her so much but you can’t help he?????????? Wym she’s dating you you know she’s sleeping on an air mattress and you don’t even care????
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u/Wooden_Language_8151 7h ago
I have so much appreciation for you <3 You've been there for a nice person who was at her lowest and you didn't abandon her, we need more people like you on this earth, you give me hope in humanity
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u/Difficult-Gene-1532 7h ago
This right here!!! You’re a good one!!
This idea that one needs money or to have their life together to be able to date, it’s just not true. I understand if someone is in a mental headspace where they are not able to put energy into a relationship. But a relationship is about partnership and going trough the dificultes of life together! It’s for the good and the bad!!
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u/ButterflySad6026 8h ago
Your girlfriend broke up with you because her life is currently in shambles.
It seems you’re not understanding the depth of what she’s struggling with right now. Even after she poured her heart out here.
And that “ok” was fucking brutal.
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u/Tiny-Meringue4333 8h ago
My heart aches to read her texts because I know exactly EXACTLY how she feels. I can feel her vulnerability and desperation, and her anger that she has to say these things out loud, let alone to the person she loves the most. I have sent two messages like this over the last couple of months- both to a partner and to my best friends. It took so much for me to send them. It was so hard. I felt totally exposed and weak and horrible. They were received similarly (“Ok”) and it was devastating both times. She needs a hug. She needs some softness.
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u/MouseHouse444 7h ago
He says she broke up with him b/c of money shows he doesn’t get it. She’s got no cognitive slack. She’s spent. Like every fibre in her being is just trying to get her life in order. It’s not money. Its choices. Freedom. Autonomy. It’s too deep for him. He can’t get it right now.
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u/crazyguyunderthedesk 7h ago
Bang on.
I will add though, as much as she needs someone exactly as you described, it can't be the ex bf. This is painful for him as well, and he needs to take care of himself just the same as she's doing what's best for her.
This is just a shit situation all around, but the good news is that these are all things that pass with time. The bad news is that doesn't help much in the present.
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u/Metal-Lee-Solid 6h ago
Yeah my relationship just ended because my ex went thru a seriously fucked up and traumatic event in February and has been spiraling since, she broke things off with me because she feels guilty being a bad partner and it sucks really bad but overall im more worried for her since i know she really is in a horrible place with her life in shambles. Responding with “Ok” is absolutely fucking brutal
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u/MarzipanMaterial9108 6h ago
Brother you dropped the ball on that response. Its not about the money, she feels like she isn’t a good partner. If you really want to continue your relationship you need to help her be self sufficient and make her feel supported during her mental lows.
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u/myneighborscatismine 6h ago
Definitely, this is the time you fight for your partner, not pull away.
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u/PhelixFanel 8h ago
If this is actually the reason; she’s a good person.
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u/oldcousingreg 8h ago
You misspelled "I'm sorry you're struggling, I will respect your space. Please do not stress over me. Put your needs first. I would be happier knowing you are taking care of yourself first."
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u/RamonaAStone 8h ago
Oof, responding with "ok" is brutal. I understand not trying to talk her out of it, but damn. She's depressed, and that "ok" just convinced her you don't care at all.
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u/Perfect_Librarian873 7h ago
Yeah so fing rude. 😒 Hope he responds with something other than that..
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u/Ok-Guidance-2112 8h ago
Brother I really dont think you know what "girl of my dreams" or true love means if them pouring their heart out to you in weakness warrants an "Ok." lol
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u/curiousdryad 6h ago
Your response was super shit. Crazy you spent more time posting this online for strangers instead of responding appropriately.
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u/Level_Ad3408 8h ago
Grown man said ok after she typed multiple essays expressing her feelings
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u/Any_Moose_2914 8h ago
“The girl of my dreams” then responds with just “ok” after she poured her heart out 😭
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u/cdan23 8h ago
30 years old and responding with “Ok” while the “girl of your dreams” is going through one of the toughest points of her life… good luck bud lmao
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u/Happy_Escape1049 8h ago
You’re fucking weird. You said you hate she’s going through this and all you can put is “ok”
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u/stawberryblondy 6h ago
I was where this girl was a year ago. Unemployed, down on my luck, depressed, mentally spent. If my boyfriend responded to such a vulnerable and honest message with "Ok." I'd wanna throw up.
OP is fucking weird as HELL for that, and this girl is 100% making the right decision to leave him, financial troubles or no financial troubles. I'm frankly shocked OP thought sending that AND posting it here was a good idea.
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u/Throwway_queer 7h ago
Brother. This wasn't about money, this was her letting her heart out telling you her life is in the gutter and she doesn't have the energy to give towards a relationship when she's trying to put herself back together. This girl just bled her mf heart out to you... AND YOU SAY"OK"?!?!?!?? Nah maybe this was a bullet dodged for her holy hell.
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u/GrimyLilPimp 7h ago
Brutal response from him. He might as well just hit her with a 👍.
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u/Eat_Around_the_Rosie 6h ago
Like seriously, OP just literally stabbed her heart with a thousand swords with his “OK”. That was cold hearted from OP.
She dodged a bullet and deserves better.
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u/circuit_breaker 6h ago
After reading how heartfelt, sincere, and suffering her explanation was it's like holy shit okay? That's all you've got? Go be there for that lady if she will let you WTF
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u/aaliyah_2222 6h ago
Lol exactly, what he said to us he should have said to her like she's the girl of his dreams etc
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u/Much_Crew4064 8h ago
I've been in her shoes... I broke up with my husband when we first started dating. I was 20 years old. My vehicle was broke down. I lost my job. My parents disowned me because I didn't follow through with cosmetology school, it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to be a vet, but couldn't afford the schooling. I didn't have a steady place to live. I felt like I didn't have a pot to piss in. Why would he want someone with so much baggage? He was the guy of my dreams, how could I be the girl of his? So I broke up with him. It was my way of leaving before he left me...I was walking along side the road at the time, he found me, "made" me get in his car so that we could drive and talk things out. He reassured me that I wasn't the POS I believed myself to be. He wanted ME. He let me cry it out. He stayed by my side.
It's a tough situation to be in, I imagine. You'll feel like nothing you say, will fix her way of thinking towards herself and what she feels she "lacks" bringing to the table. But it's doable. For me, that was 12 years ago and we have been married 10 years this Thursday. I honestly feel absolutely stupid looking back on that day and making such a rash decision because I felt so bad in the moment.
I'm just trying to give you possible insight of what could be happening on her end.
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u/Leithalia 7h ago
I wasn't doing bad financially, but I was not doing the best mentally. It wasn't my lowest point, but still not great, especially after therapy appointments.
One day the appointment was particularly bad. I cried the whole way home, had a headache, felt an inch from a full breakdown. My boyfriend was going to come over, so I messaged him to cancel. He said "I'm around the corner, let me come give you a hug, and if you want me to go, I'll go." I said no, he pushed a little, and I caved. He came over, and I had the full breakdown. I cried hysterically. He guided me to bed and let me cry on him. I fell asleep crying.I had never had a relationship where emotional support was included. I had never had even a parent to make me soup when I was sick. I had survived on the bare minimum untill then.
At some point he woke me up and asked what I wanted to eat, but in my emotionally addled brain it was some sort of hallucination. Because the dude probably left as soon was I fell asleep. So I thought, what do I have absolutely no ingredients for? Tacos. So I said "tacos" to the hallucination and fell back asleep.
He cleaned my kitchen, took my keys, did groceries, came back and made us tacos.
I woke up to him gently telling me dinner was ready. I was so confused...
That's when I knew he was the one.
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u/Sherylcrowdotcom 7h ago
Same same. I tried to push my partner away like 6 times before I finally accepted that he loves me as I am. It was hard to believe. I’m so sorry you are both going through this
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u/Worldly_Magazine_172 6h ago
The only good response I’ve seen so far. I have empathy for both of them.
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u/GrayJinjo 8h ago edited 7h ago
Lol “ok” and even threw a . there too!
Jesus Christ dude. At least give a “I’m sorry you’re going through this and I’m here for you if you need me.”
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u/fairiesgotme 8h ago
That's a diabolical response to give to someone you say is the love of your life.
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u/RealSonyPony 8h ago
If you want to fight for her, then use your words. Don't just say "okay"
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u/JFJF48 8h ago
Ngl the girl of your dreams is broke, depressed, evidently erratic... You only met a few months ago. Sounds like you put her on a pedestal very early on and she definitely can't live up to that. I think you have some growing up to do
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u/DrunkCultLeader 8h ago
I really feel for her though. I've tried to break up with my bf over similar reasons and he just makes fun of me for self loathing lol.
If he just said ok, we likely wouldn't be celebrating 6 years this October.
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u/ZennedGame 4h ago
This is not the girl of your dreams or you would have given a damn about what she said.
I'm all for flushing out shit excuses, but this is not one of those. She definitely thinks she made the right choice after your response.
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u/Single_Feature_3231 8h ago
She told you how she felt depressed , all of the things and your response is ok ?
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u/ragingbitchh 8h ago edited 8h ago
your response is gross asf ngl
edit: after reading all of your responses, she did herself a favor. i hope she blocks you!
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u/BirthofRevolution 8h ago
So the girl of your dreams gets really vulnerable and pours her heart out to you and your reply is "ok". Fuckin a dude
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u/Ill_Collection4662 8h ago
You can say all you want in comments and in the main body of the post, but all you said to her was “Ok.” If that was what I got in response to something like this i would feel you didn’t care from the start.
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u/Broks_Enmu 8h ago
That is the greatest thing she could ever done in my opinion. There are stage in life where you just not ready for a relationship and should be focused 100% on yourself to improve your overall life. It’s sting now but you can get back with her later when she will be in a much better place ( if she decides to )
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u/melissaaevee 8h ago
First of all, what the fuck is that response? She literally expressed all her feelings and all she got was an “ok”.. dude grow the fuck up.
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u/ManaPoolGlass 4h ago
"Girl of my dreams" I need love and support and am going through a very hard time. It makes me push people away.
"Okay"
Dafuq?
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u/mkovic 4h ago
Careful there bud, you're giving him 2 letters too much credit lmao
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u/SirenPup_Art 8h ago
How about you tell her this instead of saying “ok” like a child
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u/herebenargles 8h ago
Yeah op why tf would you answer a long ass text like that with "ok" instead of sympathy or trying to be understanding and offering to take it slow and do friendship. What the actual fuck
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u/daddys-devoted-girl 8h ago
The only correct response to those texts is a phone call
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u/Master_loves_you 8h ago
Idk man. She needs a hug. Don’t let her go at her weakest moment. Just be like, hey, make me a bday gift out of popsicle sticks with a picture of us in the middle like a frame, if it’s important you give me something. Don’t worry, you got this. Idk, do something to build her up. I wouldn’t let her just break up because she feels bad about herself. It’s the point of having a person, they carry you when you’re down. Then they may return the favor later.
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u/notJonSerra 8h ago
I know this is gonna sound weird but you’re holding her back from being able to get out of this. You’re only adding to the pressure she’s feeling. It’s okay to let go or just be friends for a bit
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u/Exhausted_Pige0n 8h ago
I can't speak for her, but she's speaking for me with those words. This is a recurring speech of mine as well. Comes up when I'm in the worst moments of my depression. I truly don't know how I'd respond if my husband only responded with "ok" during these moments. But I truly believe this rant is about so much more than money...
I hope you find the strength to guide her through this crisis as my husband carries me through mine.
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u/ShoheiHoetani 8h ago
My dude, you said more to us than you did to her in those texts. That says a lot about you and it's not good.
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u/HermesMora 8h ago
I gotta say man "ok." Is the second worst possible response to all of that outside of "k." Seems like you don't even care. If this is the girl of your dreams fight her insecurities don't just give in immediately.
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u/Local_Windrunner 3h ago
That “ok” probably really hurt her.
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u/scrollbreak 3h ago
Yeah, I'm not sure how someone goes from 'I love you so much!' to 'ok'
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u/penpointred 8h ago
dude..... ok? thats how you replied to all that??? sucks thats she's struggling and doesnt even have someone that she can talk things thru with.... oi
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u/throwaway225532 4h ago
"Ok." Was not the move here if you want to keep her. Apologize for that, then tell her you needed time to think, then explain everything you've said in the comments about how wonderful she is. She already feels awful and the "Ok." Isn't going to help. Maybe ask her why she feels that she isn't enough for you bc you don't feel that way.
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u/ParrishThePoet 8h ago
"okay"
Nah bro. This is one to keep.
Here ya go:
"You keep telling me what I deserve instead of listening to what I am saying. I love you regardless of your current situation, I know it feels like you're going up a mountain with a boulder on your back, but let me shoulder that boulder with you, let me ease those shackles. There are women out here with great careers and money and all the things you say you lack, but they don't have the empathy and maturity to be a better partner for me than you. You'll get through this because I'll help you, we'll get through this because we can do anything if we're together.
So stop saying you don't deserve me, you deserve the world, and I'll do my best to make that happen for us. I love you, I want YOU (not what you have or can give me) when your presence and affection is what I want, I deserve someone who loves me even when they are down, that person is you."
Something like that. Idk.
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u/Key-Coconut-189 8h ago
Hell no, if he said any of this, they would be your words and not something that would be coming from him 😹 he said okay and he’s going with okay, he’s grown enough to know better lmfao
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u/ParrishThePoet 8h ago
That's why I said something like that lol.
Many people can't express their feelings in text, so it was just a starter. Clearly I don't know any of these people and their relationship up to this point.
But I do hate to see love just fizzle over finances or someone feeling "not good enough"
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u/Middle-Campaign-63 7h ago edited 7h ago
That’s pretty much what he said in the first text just with less words.
I don’t blame him for saying “ok”. He tried to reassure her he didn’t care about the circumstances, and she still wanted to break up. Why say more than “ok” at that point
This obviously was not the first conversation on this topic for them
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u/lilaccosmoslove 5h ago
agreee, you can reassure someone all you want, but you can’t force them to accept the love they’re not ready for
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u/Nda89 7h ago
Breaking up with you is allowing herself to feel in control over her life. She needs to work on herself, and if she feels that being in the relationship is not going to allow her to do then let her do that.
If you really care for her, let her know that you aren’t going anywhere but will give her all the space she needs. If she needs you, she can call you. But for now there is no “relationship” but you can support in her other ways (being there for her).
I was in a mental position like this 7 years into my relationship. I felt the only thing I could do was end my relationship. After about two weeks of breaking up, I realized it wasn’t the relationship at all but it was me. Thankfully my (now) husband was supportive and we were able to get through it.
Btw, texting “ok” after all that? Crazy work.
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u/rosiesentiment 5h ago
The only comment I’m seeing from OP is him saying that he hopes there’s a chance for them in the future and he’s going to see if they can still be friends???????
100% genuinely dude, you would be lucky for this woman to ever speak to you again.
Your response was intentionally cruel and I personally would never be able to trust someone again in a real friendship, let alone a relationship, after receiving that kind of punitive energy in response to sharing something so vulnerable.
Legitimately felt my stomach drop reading your response just as a 3rd party stranger on the internet. I can’t even imagine how she must have felt getting it. A nicer alternative might have just been a quick kick with steel-toed boots while she was down.
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u/caseyranae 4h ago
good luck ever getting back with her again with that response. she thought that out and probably edited it a bunch. you said “ok.” rude as hell
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u/RottenLychee 7h ago
So, she spills her most vulnerable feelings and you have the gall to just reply with "ok"... fuck that, she deserves better
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u/Objective_Season5407 8h ago
She said all of that and all you had to say was “ok” lol bruh get the fuck out of here 😂
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u/jweaver0312 8h ago
Could be one of two things:
- Doesn’t want a relationship until she gets things back in order or at least somewhat in order.
- Insecurity
Could be one or the other or even both
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u/SweetnessBaby 5h ago
Nah man YOU dont deserve HER. How do you respond with "ok" to the person you love saying all that to you? You're sorry as hell for that.
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u/Delicious-Yak-3543 3h ago
You say this is the girl of your dreams yet she pours her heart out to you and you reply with “Ok.” LMFAO
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u/araidai 6h ago edited 3h ago
I am 100% sure this is ragebait because there’s no fucking way you went and said “Ok.” to whole paragraphs being written to you about how shit their situation has been and how much they feel like they’re unable to give you what you want.
Especially after you said in the caption that they’re “the girl of your dreams” and complimented them to the moon and back.
I get that YOU also have the ability to acknowledge when things might not work out, and are completely able to break up with someone when you feel is right, but you dropped her a little too easy. You can’t say she means the world to you and then at the drop of a hat go “ok.” when shit seems lost.
But so far? In regards to your response? It’s abhorrently dry and insensitive.
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u/SpectreOTF 8h ago
With depression it can make you want to isolate, with me I didn’t want to search for a new partner, I stayed single for many years because I didn’t have the mental and emotional capacity to give to another, when it was taking all I had to keep myself above water.
Nothing you can say or do would make it better. Let them know you support is there, don’t make it about you, and let them be
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u/Emergency-Douche 8h ago
This is the part where you drive the three hours to go see her immediately.
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u/HickoryStickz 8h ago
Saying ok to that after saying she was the girl of your dreams has determined your statement to be a lie. If you want her maybe try a little harder.
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u/ohnotchotchke 8h ago
You're shocked the woman who explicitly stated she didn't want a relationship, doesn't want a relationship?
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u/ComfortableMonk2762 7h ago
She told you she wasn’t in a place to date.. you dated her anyway.. now she’s saying she’s still not in a place to date. Idk maybe listen to what she’s saying instead of just trying to get what you want.
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u/Specialist_Cow_7092 8h ago
Lol you said ok... Poor girl. Don't worry that response will help her get over you and find someone willing to take care of her.
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u/bluebirdmorning 8h ago
But you don’t understand the depressed part. The depressed part is driving everything right now: how she feels about finances, her job, her health, and herself. This woman is falling apart, and you just say “ok.”
I hope she heals and finds someone who cares about her.
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u/Complete-Produce8116 8h ago
The “Ok.” After this woman poured her heart out was brutal. Especially since you say she is struggling with her mental health. I’d say after that response you will probably never see her again.
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u/PastelDeCatupiry 8h ago
My perspective as a 34yo woman, she poured her out to you, maybe deep down she didn’t even want to break up, maybe she just felt that that’s what you would want because she’s feeling so low and worthless and was hoping that you would give her some words of encouragement and affirmation. Instead, you hit her with a cold ass “ok”. Her heart is breaking right now, I can guarantee you that, and if you truly think she’s the woman of your life Id drop the games and contact her right now and try to fix this.
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u/ledias65 6h ago
If thats any indication of your personality thats horrid. Shes all the more justified.
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u/internetmessiah 8h ago
you could try fighting for her? for all you know that’s maybe what she was hoping for. you could try letting her know what you just put in your post, that you don’t care that she’s broke and everything else you mentioned etc. like someone else said, your “ok” probably broke her even more
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u/Here_For_the_proxies 8h ago
OP: Responds OK…
Also OP: Proceeds to put his heart into a Reddit post instead of the text message.
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u/Shot-Boysenberry-426 6h ago
If she is telling you the truth, that’s actually pretty mature of her. However, if you don’t feel she is a burden you need to vocalize that. It all comes down to how bad do you want this? If you don’t want it, just stay with the “okay” if you do want this, let her know that her financial situation means nothing.
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u/Aloysius-L322 8h ago
I hope you had more to say after "Ok" that you didn't share with us, because what is that response?? 😭
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u/EatACookieCuzUHating 8h ago
you responding “ok.” makes you a piece of shit. also you’re 30, if she’s the girl of your dreams why aren’t you helping her.
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u/Wolfygirl97 8h ago
The “ok.” Would unleash a rage in me lol. Girl of your dreams who opens up to you and that’s your response..crazy.
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u/personova_ 8h ago
You hate that she's going through this but instead of being supportive you reply "Ok.". You sound like my ex, in a bad way
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u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO 8h ago
I mean it sounds like she’s mentally not in a place to date right now. Your “ok” was pretty cold.
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u/Competitive-Eye-853 8h ago
you really feel all this but left her with an "ok"?
you know what, she's better off without you if all you can muster up is an OK.
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u/Mackenzie_xxx 8h ago
Give her time and space. Be supportive from a distance. I wish you all the best ❤️
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u/BadRobot78 8h ago
Did you consider telling her the things you just wrote to us in your post?