I just want to ask questions like this occasionally to myself and others - because with anxiety disorders, we can often get very stuck on the negative rumination. But it can be helpful to take time to reflect on the good sometimes, to shift one’s thinking.

This could be SM-related wins or anything else in life you’re proud of and wish to share. even if it feels small or insignificant, it is important

I’m 22, and on Thursday my dad is taking me to see a neural psychologist. So then I can finally get a diagnosis.

I read a manga awhile ago called “A Story about a girl who developed selective mutism”

I read it again today.
It’s mostly wholesome. Like the friend that stayed by her side is really awesome.

there’s a part where she says “selective mutism can be cured”. By taking small steps.

That should give me hope. But it just makes me sad. It makes me cry.
My first thoughts are just “No it can’t”.

That line hurts so much to read.

I don’t know why that comic makes me feel sad. Why it makes me feel more hopeless.

I worry that I’m not capable of the small steps.

How does therapy even work? Like if you have to practice speaking, how does that work when the condition is the inability to speak in certain situations?

How would I practice speaking when I physically can’t in the situation?

Especially exposure. Like I feel like I’d fail each one, even the small ones. Thinking about talking to strangers, I couldn’t. In the manga it says some people with selective mutism can talk to strangers. So that explains how she was able to do it.

My therapist already knows that I hate the idea of exposure therapy. But if that’s the only way to cure it then that’s what really scares me.

I wanted to wave bye to my professer, but couldn’t.
Then I felt bad after.

I did to the painting professor though.

I just don’t know how one would even cure this.

I don’t know how to believe things could ever get better. I wish I could be like the people who are super positive about it.

I’m anxious posting this too, but the people in this subreddit are the only people I can relate the with this.

I don’t know when I’ll reply, since when I see the notifications I’m overthinking what the replies might say. Thank you for reading

I am 36M, turning 37 on the 24th, disgnosed with autism and selective mutism. I have aaundry list of other disorders like OCD, but I cannot lost all of them and keep this short.

This year has been hell, and I get no relief when I cannot speak when they expect any normal almost 37 year old to speak. People just get irritated and insulted, thinking I am ignoring them or something. My selective mutism was far worse in childhood, when I would say nothing, even if there were an extreme emergency like a fire or an earthquake. Now I am somewhat better, but honestly I feel like saying nothing when I am being talked to.

This year has been the worst year of my life, and I truly feel like going through another birthday and living another year with all of these problems is just too much to bear.