I’m not sure why it is but my two older sisters have bipolar alongside my mom and her mother. When I went to go apply for my social security, the lady told me to get evaluated for bipolar since based on my history some of my symptoms could be from being bipolar. I understand that autism and bipolar symptoms can overlap, but she personally thinks it’s a milder version of bipolar compared to my sisters and mom.

I was tested for autism when I was 2 and only just started found the proper medication for it that helps stabilize my mood (Lamotringe 100 mgs once a day) and I also take buspirone for my anxiety which has been a major issue in my life. I’m going to get tested hopefully soon however I’m just afraid that they’re going to brush it off due to my autism. Bipolar is very common on my mom’s side and even she admitted she suspected that I had bipolar. I only started to have these symptoms I think a little after I graduated in 2024 so it’s been about 3 years. I was so preoccupied with work I didn’t have time to think about my behavior getting worse despite taking my medication that had worked fine.

I don’t want to assume, I already struggle with anxiety and autism to my day to day life but I want an outside perspective. If anyone has any advice to deal with this anxiety about a very possible diagnosis please let me know 🙏 this has been a nightmare and I feel like I’m rotting in my bed some days.

\*\*By definition Empathy\*\* is the ability to understand, share, and connect with another person's thoughts, feelings, or emotional experiences. It is often described as putting yourself in someone else's shoes.

But is it empathy if I say something unconsciously that would be considered rude but I don’t feel bad about it until someone “calls me out” and tell me what I say is rude, I have a hard time distinguishing what is rude and and what is normal (to me it sounds normal until someone says it’s not). Is it empathy if I only feel back after when someone calls it out? If someone didn’t say something I wouldn’t know it was offensive nor would I feel anything. When someone brings it up later I tend to think about it a lot and replay the situation in Mr head over and over again, I feel bad but not because I know what I did (as I said if no one called me out I wouldn’t be aware I did anything wrong) I feel bad because of the way I may be perceived or because I think that what they say did is beneath me. I feel bad because they seem to be highly offended and I tend to accepted blame regardless of if I care or not. I’m in a situation like this now. I was just wondering if feeling “guilty” after the situation is the same as being empathetic because from where I’m standing my empathy seems to be delayed. Why don’t I know how my words will land before I say them? Why can’t I tell the difference between when I say something rude and normal?

Im F19 and have struggled with self-harm since I was 14. This began near the end of quarantine, when I was lonely, had no friends, and was dealing with family and financial issues. I needed a way to cope with these issues along with my self-hatred, so I unscrewed the b!ade of a sharpener and began cutting. I never went too far because despite hating my life, i was too scared to die. After that year had gone by, I wanted to make my life a little better. I started going to school in person, and I tried to make friends. It was a really humiliating experience. I started hanging out with people who would make fun of me, call me stupid, ugly, pathetic, etc. It felt horrible, but I continued to stay friends with these people. At this point in my life, I hadn't been cutting nearly as much as when I didn't have friends. They replaced the b!ade that dragged my skin. They left psychological scars instead. I degraded myself so heavily by surrounding myself with these people, and I missed how it felt. Fast forward to 18, I was back to having no friends again, and as you may suspect, yes, the cutting started again. I was in college for a few weeks, and I was so scared of presenting a sideshow to my class that I dropped out. I felt like a worthless bum and decided to make it even worse for myself. I downloaded hinge and used it to try and befriend other girls, which did end up working. I met this girl named kat, who i became kinda close with. She showed me her hinge, and she had over 340 people that matched with her. It influenced me to accept every like I got and swipe right on every guy I saw just to see how high the numbers would go, and within a month, I got over 300 people that matched with me too. I started going on a bunch of dates with these guys, and it was draining. I felt disgusted that people could be attracted to me and looked down on these men. The majority of them wanted sex and it made me feel even worse. I never slept with any of them, but the more I talked to them, the more I hated myself. I wanted it more and more, but every moment I spent with them felt horrible. Even the genuine ones made me feel disgusting. I hate being seen romantically or sexually, and I don't really understand why. I had seen a psychiatrist before the whole hinge thing happened, and he told me there is a possibility I might have avoidant personality disorder but that it was too early into our session to tell and that an assessment would need to be done to see if i have it. I did some research on the disorder, and it sounds a lot like me. Some traits include feelings of inadequacy, social anxiety, fear of rejection, and intense feelings of embarrassment. I ghosted that psychiatrist after one session the way I ghosted those men after one date. Idk what to do with these feelings, I'm back to square one where I no longer have any friends and have gone back to cutting again. I'm not in college right now, but I've started working to make myself feel a little more useful. Idk if I can ever go back to school again cause my mind is practically gone. I'm too stupid and anxious to go back to studying, and I'm scared for my future. I'm scared of everything.

Context I'm a 24 (almost 25 bday is in 6 days) and ive been all alone with no connection with anyone since I discovered that we are living in the matrix in 2023. (Take this with a grain of salt but i genuinely believe it) since then my life has been the same. Not living life or experience the joys of it completely lost in my head and lost from life with an abusive mother on top of it. Who refuses to help me in any kind of way. Neurodivergent too probably audhd. ( late diagnosed autistic but I have a bit of adhd traits too.) I have completely forgotten what is living and genuinely experiencing life. All I do is wake up watch reels play videogames maybe watch a bit of anime and stay true to my isolation from humanity. Never connecting with anyone because I literally have no energy to connect with anyone or do anything outside of my bubble and isolating more like jail like routine. Almost completely given up (notice i said almost bcs this is the first time in ages for asking for help aboutthese problems to anyone except my mother.)Recently I connected some dots from my past and im starting to believe that all my experiences are perfectly scripted and most of the people I knew were not real and their entire grand purpose was to push me to the edge after realizing it and haunt me for the rest of my life. My fy page on Instagram and tiktok has convinced me of it and sometimes I feel like even people i sometimes interact too feel scripted,artificial or fake. Another problem that led to that is that half of my life ive felt like im completely different and alienated from others. Yes as if im a different species of a human and i have never talked to anyone about all this these past 3 daunting years that ive been experiencing it. This is the first time. I dont know why I'm posting this maybe im hopeful someone is out there that's just like me or maybe someone will relate to it or maybe someone will see this and help me get out of this trap that im in. Because I genuinely dont know what to do. Im at my wits I have no energy to go out I recently broke my legs due to a suicide attempt so I can't go out like I used to either. I used to be such an open minded extroverted teenager with full of love and now I'm just an empty shell of what I used to be. Im empty. Nothing is here but a person trying to get by through life with nothing inside him. No spark no willpower and no energy. Completely given up and defeated by life. Without knowing where to go or what is my home now anymore. Sorry if I poorly wrote this i was writing as I was thinking.

Does cutting an XR eg Seroquel pill just make it like an Immediate Release or is it bad? What would cutting a buproprion XR pill do?

(**WARNING: discussion of suicidal tendencies)*\* I posted about this friend before but deleted the post, i’ve (19F) struggled with my best friend (19F) for awhile now. We’re pretty much inseparable at the beginning of our friendship. We both got kicked out of friend groups senior year of high school. So me and her bonded at the hip, besides that the only other person was my boyfriend and her rotating interests of different guys. She’s always struggled with mental illness, she’s currently diagnosed with FND (making her physically disabled), Bipolar 2, BPD (which I am her ‘favorite person’), and more. Her depression episodes have worsened along with her manic, I believe she’s been in a mixed episode for awhile, she’s also extremely suicidal. Just last week she attempted the 7th time. She’s been to the psychward 3 times this year. She’s currently home as her last attempt obviously didn’t work, she wasn’t sent as there wasn’t much to be done after and no authorized were alerted as they have been in the past. The psychward does nothing for her and therapy once a week doesn’t either. I feel like our friendship has become me managing her manic episodes or talking her down. She constantly has me talking her down from stupid manic decisions whether it be talking to a past abuser, going somewhere she shouldn’t, getting in someone’s car, etc. We’ve had dozens and dozens of deep talks about her mental health, but she’s even told me she heard my word but it doesn’t make any change, she’s also very resistant to try and help herself but she’s always ready to do something worse because her mental state. Her parents do nothing, they’re neglectful and i was lucky enough to make her mom lock up her meds and take away her access from the pharmacy. I feel like i’ve become her guardian more then her friend, i’m tired. She’s agreed that she should go to a longer term mental health program, but she found one she liked and couldn’t get into so she pretty much gave up instantly. I honestly and have told her she should probably be in a long term facility for good. But she won’t advocate or do any of what I ask for herself. And if i tell her anything she just asks why i care so much and i tell her because I love her. But it gets really exhausting and anxious constantly worrying if she’s attempting or about to do something dangerous. I’m also her only friend/actual person who cares, What do I do at this point?

TL;DR; my mentally ill/suicidal best friend is worsening and isn’t advocating for herself, leaving me in constant anxiety and exhaustion.

I won’t go into too much detail here but a little while ago I overdosed and thought that may have been it for me. Fortunately I am okay, but I got persistent nightmares about it following the event. Anxiety ones mainly even though I’m not an anxious person at all. The nightmares lasted about a week, and I now just moved into Uni and they’ve started to come back. These ones are more anxiety/lack of control, but not as direct as the earlier ones. I keep getting them non-stop whenever I try and sleep it’s getting bad. The earlier ones were more specific to the incident and me being in the hospital but these ones are miscellaneous. I almost never get nightmares so when they stopped I thought it was done. Does anyone who’s dealt with anything like this before know if this is normal? If so any suggestions?

I’m a fourteen year old girl I am starting to hate everyone around me so much for no reason and I don’t want anything healthy in my life. All I want is chaos. I love stuff that makes me numb like smoking or other stuff I can’t say on this app and I don’t even seem like smth is wrong with me everyone describes me as loud and funny and blunt but I’m starting to hate everyone my friends my parents my siblings my teachers everyone it’s uncontrollable I don’t have any feelings towards my own parents I wouldn’t even care abt them dying and I smoke I dye my hair I fight with my mom a lot and cuss and idc abt my grades nor my homework and I’m not scared of death at all idc if I die and at times I thought abt dying thinking it will be way better than living in this life and there’s videos on twitter that pops up to me a lot and it’s like abuse videos and I just watch it without feeling bad for the victim and I have no ambitions no feelings towards people and idk what to do anymore and I need advice before it’s too late and I get even worse

I swear im stable and fine. I think sleep deprivation is hampering my ability to make good choices. I slept 6 hours and had sleep paralysis, just felt hella shit this morning, but finally i got better and i was loving driving yk.

I wasnt driving bad at all mostly. Until i was turning right, the lights were green but cars were still coming the opposite way. And there was a sliplane on the otherside, which was jammed.

The light hadnt gone red yet, so all of those cars were still speeding through.

Idk, i felt confidence i never felt before, as if nothing would happen. Felt like i was in an action movie fr.

Zoom, i went out, and turned onto the street. Cars were beeping. Lol. One white car was close but nothing happened. I got across safely and the sliplane cars moved for me. Aww haha

Alls well that ends well.

Anyway trust yourself, and dont be down on yourself. If i hesitated for even a second id hace been hit haha.

I’m (17)not diagnosed as depressed, never been to therapy or anything (I don’t want to as they would tell my parents) and I’m also not claiming to have depression but I just feel so lost.
I don’t want to self diagnose but I don’t understand what’s wrong with my brain

Every night I hope that I won’t wake up in the morning, I cant imagine myself dying any other way than suicide. I’ve always been quite sad due to insecurities and whatnot, but the past few months I’ve been a lot worse . I don’t find joy in things anymore, I’m going on vacation to my fav place ever in 2 days and I am not excited at all. I don’t have any feelings about it. Everything that should be “exciting” I just feel nothing? I randomly start crying all of the time, and I don’t even know why I’m sad. I wonder whether I’m faking my feelings everyday. I dont understand my brain, I haven’t told anyone that I’m planning to kill myself before my next birthday.

As much as I want to know what’s wrong with me, I dont want to speak about my feelings to a therapist. I don’t want help, I just want to know why I feel this way. Life feels so bleak and I find everything unbearable.

I don’t see the point in anything anymore. I can be normal when in a social setting, but when im alone all my thoughts are about how much I hate myself and don’t want to be here anymore. I also can’t conceptualise why people are grateful to be alive, everyday feels like a chore.

Sorry for the rant but any advice would be appreciated :)

I have PMDD, Audhd and suspect I have BPD probably.
I recently came off SSRI’s after five years on them due to emotional numbness, as I am creative and I haven’t felt it in me to create for a long time and it’s causing me to be more depressed feeling nothing.

I am currently put on birth control for PMDD which also causes me numbness and is affecting my ADHD symptoms and executive dysfunction.

I suffer a lot with emotional dysregulation and severe anxiety and I need a med recommendation which is preferably not SSRI or SNRI as I don’t want to feel numb.

I’m currently on waitlist for ADHD meds.

I have been given buspirone to help with the start of birth control and other stuff I’ve tried but it honestly doesn’t do much for me,
I can’t have propanonol due to asthma, and Wellbutrin seems like it would be a good option but cos I’m in dumb UK they do not prescribe it for this.

Any help will be much appreciated.

Hi, 17M, you read the title, I don't know, what I'm doing alive at this point, I'm just tired, i'm in 12th grade by now, first started in 9th grade, I'm not even sure, I've been feeling depressed for a few years now too, between school, family, my own messed up head it's just been getting worse, I feel old already, tired, there are days when I feel like I'm the only one seeing what going on, and others where I feel lost while everyone else seems to have everything figured out, days when I'm all over the place, doing any and everything, and days when life forces me to slow down, and it's almost like coming home to yet another dysfunctional home, it's just in my head, sometimes it's too quiet cold, distant, other times it's loud, too loud and every voice, every thought, every feeling you've been trying to push down is just there, and you have to sit with it, because you don't know where else to put it, because your family isn't an option, and your friends, they're good, but then the problem is you, opening up is just something you've never done, and then the dread, that if they knew it all, how much you hated yourself, how much you wanted to die, how messed up and angry you were, they'd just leave, I'm always having thoughts of ending it, but I have obligations and things to do, so not dying tonight unfortunately, kinda a stay of execution I guess, see if I find the next reason to keep living in the next month or so, it's bleak, but it's better tham me just slitting my wrists tonight, I started going to a therapist a few weeks ago on the pretense of school stress, which isn't false exactly, come to find out it's 50 minutes once a month, like I guess that's as good as it get in this economy, If I could get some advice, from anyone, even if just to not feel completely fucking alone

Guys i need someone to help me stay grounded. I am going through a maniac episode please. I need someone to talk to, i need help please. I need external help. I am reaching out here.

My mom has been on a low dose (0.5 mg) of clonazepam for years. Like 20-25 years. She does not misuse it, and it has not been daily the entire time, but usually. She has ocd and vertigo. It has helped her manage her symptoms and she has been okay.

Her doctor has now told her since she is 70, she can no longer take it. Switched her right over to a combo of diazepam and twintrillex, without weaning her off. She is now sicker than ever and cannot function. Just cries and sleeps, constantly nauseous.

Anyone have any experience with a parent (or self) taking clonazepam for the long term? It seems like she has taken it so long that I cannot imagine what the withdrawal must be like. Any advice welcome. Thanks.

Hi! I feel exhausted and feels like my brain shuts down and I'm unable to focus when I'm at my bed feels like brain fog but happens when I go for sleep, feels like my brain is numb, is it also a symptom of anxiety?

I feel like I’m really overthinking this so I just needed some advice. Really just a, “that’s normal,” or “that’s not normal,” since I’m entirely unsure. Not expecting professional opinions, just an outside perspective.

I’ve always been fairly socially isolated due to social anxiety and in recent years that hasn’t been too much of a problem for me (I don’t usually mind, and I’ve got good company within my family). I don’t consider myself medically depressed, since my mood is fine about half the time and I think I consistently function all right. I do have this issue where I either think I’m going to become a rockstar, or I have no hope or interest in the future at all, but I’ve never felt it’s quite to a bipolar level.
That doesn’t normally affect my interpersonal life at all (which is why Ive never thought it a problem), but it did recently cause me to quit my job and change my residency during a moment of “life sucks,” followed by a moment of “let’s go be a rockstar and get into music school,” to which I’ve once again let go of that plan.

I’ve dealt with passive suicidal ideation regularly since my teens, usually during more depressed phases.

With that background, here’s my current issue. I feel like I’m going insane, or that I’m making myself believe that I’m going insane, despite being fine.
The past three months or so I’ve had worse temporary “depressions” than usual. The suicidal thoughts continue past these and happen many times throughout the day every day, whether I’m feeling sad or happy or content. I’ve also had a massive uptick in “magical thinking,” which I’ve always done to some extent, but not as often as this. I’ve thought a few times that I’ve accidentally caused the death of a person through some weird force of the universe, that I can control parts of the world, that something is trying to talk to me and I just need to hear the right combination of words to figure out the secret of the universe, that I don’t exist except in a world in my own head, that other people are not people or that they are watching me for something, etc. The thoughts last for a while and sometimes spiral into others.
This has been increasing until this week it’s happened everyday. I’m confused about them because I’m completely aware they are absurd, while at the same time I fully believe them. It’s like my head doesn’t but my heart does. I also feel like I want to make myself believe them more than I actually do. Like, if I believe them they’ll come true. I’ve heard when you are in psychosis, you can’t make that distinction, so I just don’t know what it is.
My social anxiety which I’ve had since childhood has also seemed to vanish. It could have just improved since I’ve been around a lot more people this year, but it feels like I’m intensely inside my own head now when I’m around people, so I just don’t react. Hard to describe. Like my consciousness is compressed into a tiny bean or something.
Yesterday I went to the store (which I don’t often do since I get very overwhelmed), and I made myself believe I was seeing things everywhere. I had a rule that I couldn’t look at peoples faces past the rim of my hat, and that they were all monsters watching me. I saw grass sprouting from vegetables, meat rotting off of the red sunburn of someone’s legs, portals coming from the bathroom, things coming alive, and I made it into a weird game of keep my head down, act normal, and escape. Again, I was completely aware that nothing was there and that I was imagining it, but it still felt oddly real. I almost thought that I was thinking my way into another world.
I also had my first experience with sleep paralysis yesterday. The hallucinations were definitely different from my “imaginary” ones in that I had no control and almost no clue what was real. Just knew that I had to get up.

Other weirdish things lately— a few moments of feeling more real or present than I ever have before, moments or days of feeling dazed or not there (has always happened though), being overly repetitive, ex. watching the same three 2 minute videos on repeat for half the day. I feel comfortable when I’m doing that, and uncomfortable when I stop (also a behavior I’ve had in the past).

As for medical history, my moms got something but I don’t know what. She’s normal half the time, and super weird the other half (forgets what she said the previous day, rambles, paranoid, super emotional). Sometimes she’s normal for two weeks and weird the next two, sometimes she’s normal for months and then off for months. Years ago she had an alcohol problem and would say or do creepy things, or see things that weren’t there. She hasn’t done that in a very long time though, and I don’t and haven’t lived with her for my whole adult life.
I’m 23 and female.
All of this feels mostly intrapersonal and has not to my knowledge affected the people around me or my outward behavior. I genuinely think I might just be stupid and a hypochondriac or something, but just hearing outside thoughts should help. Thanks!

Asking because after being jokingly and seriously told by many people close to me for years that I'm "so bipolar" I looked into the symptoms and criteria for it. And borderline as well. And the main difference to me is that the personality flip flops are a week or longer for bipolar, but can be within a few hours for borderline.

What is the real difference? What do people experience with either? Assuming a person has one or the other, how would they know the difference before a diagnosis? Am I completely wrong on what these two personality disorders mean altogether?

I was unsure wether to put this under Need Support or Question, so this is me making sure I have the right tag before reading further.

i just got out of the mental hospital about a week ago for SI. I was there for two weeks and was pretty much released because they could no longer help me and I was not responding to the help they were providing and my insurance would not pay for me to stay longer so they had to let me go. prior to going, I was having heavy disassociation and just was overall very irritable and depressed. now, after the hospital, I am not doing well. I have started to disassociate once again, it’s not quite to the point it was at first but I think it will get to that point again as it has before. im not quite sure if disassociate is the correct word so I will explain what I mean in case it is not. saying words and not knowing if I really said them or if it was just a thought I had, not fully aware of the situation when someone is talking to me or when I’m doing something more like I’m on auto pilot and I’m just stuck in my head, kinda having a hard time getting my body to move (if i want to move my arm, sometimes its hard to actually get my arm to move if that makes sense), spacing out, losing track of time, my body not feeling like mine or that i can’t really feel my movements, feeling overall out of it, and you know that thing where if you look at/read or say a word too many times, it starts not feeling real? yeah well that will happen within one or two times of seeing, hearing, or reading the word.

another thing that has been developing since I was in the mental hospital was aggression. I’ve always had pretty intense mood swings where I feel everything way more than I should and get triggered easy but now its been getting worse. i want to break and destroy stuff more than I have before. Im so angry and upset and frustrated and scared all the time way more than I used to be. I also feel like I can feel my breath and lungs inside of my body? And like I can feel my emotions trying to claw out if that makes sense.

I Know medication can sometimes be a cause but I’m not currently on any medication.
what is happening to me and what should I do? is there another subreddit that I should post this on?

Any help would be so so so so so appreciated. Thank you guys so much

edit because I forgot to mention that I have been having pretty bad memory issues too

I've struggled with depression and anxiety for nearly 15 years. During that time I've tried Zoloft, Lexapro, Busiprone & Wellbutrin-- on the latter for about 2 years now. It was helping but I've experienced a few big life changes this year that have left me in the worst depressive episode I've ever had including suicidal ideation pretty much every day. My doctor has tried changing my dosage, adding Lexapro back in, Trazadone for insomnia.... nothing seems to help. She is referring me to learn more about TMS and Spravato but I'm pretty uninformed on either treatment and hoping to learn more before I meet with the specialists. Both make me nervous from the little I do know... I already struggle a lot with low energy and it sounds like they can be pretty exhausting. If you've gone through either treatment, can you tell me about your experience? How frequent, the effects during/after? What you wish you'd known before making a decision?

The other potential challenge is that I do not have any family in the area and no one I could consistently rely on for rides to and from treatment, which I believe is mandatory for spravato (not sure about TMS).

I really appreciate any insights or advice 🤍

I don't get unwanted thoughts about children, but when I see a child, I experience an involuntary physical response/arousal. I hate it. I constantly try to prove to myself that I'm not that kind of person, but I'm never satisfied and the doubt always comes back. Honestly, if it weren't for the physical response, none of this would happen. My doubts get even worse because of some things I did during puberty, and I really don't know what to do. I find myself constantly seeking reassurance. I don't know if I truly don't know who I am, or if I'm just in denial. Can you give me some guidance? Unfortunately, I don't have the courage to see a therapist. By the way, I don't fantasize about things related to children. Sometimes they might seem attractive, or maybe it just feels that way to me, I'm not even sure anymore. Sorry for writing so much.

Im diagnosed with adhd. But honestly want to know how it feels to have bipolar. Because i have all the symptoms of it. Just curious.

I’ve been seeing several different videos over the last month in which a person (probably) having a mental health breakdown, is treated as though the person having the outbreak, cause problems for everyone around them, should be coddled.

I am here to inform you that they are not.

They should be thrown in a cop car and taken to jail. Bad things should happen. When they come back to reality, they will should see and hear how they negatively affected people and that there were consequences.

Then, the person with the affliction will forever know how bad their affliction is, and will do everything in their power to protect themselves and others from it in the future.

Alternatively, if you tell them it is not their fault, there was nothing they could do, and that others handled the situation poorly…you make a victim. A helpless victim that burns down everyone’s lives, including their own.

Regardless, people suffering from serious mental health disorders NEEED leniency in the system. One that takes into account whether they have gona on therapy and taken pills. What do you know? What do they not know? What do they refuse to do?

Mental health sufferers come in many shapes and sizes. Treating them all like big babies is a disservice to us all.