r/PoursTea • u/Veshaad Timendi Causa Est Nescire • 8h ago

Spotlight On Media Outlets What's the matter Paxton? 🐔?

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4.4k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

93 comments sorted by

161

u/CaptainBlotto 8h ago

I have no idea how this race is even close.

121

u/slowpoke2018 8h ago

The R before a name is more powerful than common sense, unfortunately

28

u/Zilch1979 8h ago

It turns out, branding is far more powerful of a force in human minds than almost anything else.

12

u/PhatCatTax 7h ago

If only we had a way to counter brainwashing... like I dunno, free access to quality education. But that cant possibly why Republicans have attacked education for 50 years. That's just evil

oh wait, they are evil. almost forgot

8

u/Prior_Internal7728 7h ago

MAGA loves their epsteinicans.

16

u/[deleted] 8h ago

[deleted]

6

u/Strange_Explorer_780 8h ago

It’s the same with Darlene Nordone (now using Graham)- as long as she has an R with her chosen name and will swear to do whatever Trump wants then that’s all they need to know about her.

3

u/SirEnzyme 8h ago

They should just burn down one of Paxton's. He's got at least 14 to spare.

28

u/jc83po 8h ago

Texas is as Texas does.

8

u/Aggressive_Trick_654 8h ago

"That's what my mumma used to say."

2

u/Wow_u_sure_r_dumb 7h ago

Look me in the eyes when you say that about Texas

(⚆_ ◉)

19

u/lilb1190 8h ago

I honestly think I could beat Paxton in a debate and I would be a terrible candidate

21

u/Odd-Neighborhood4214 8h ago

My dog Savage is smarter than 90% of the GOP party and 110% smarter than the MAGA cult

17

u/Lexibee86 8h ago

I'd vote for your dog far before I'd vote for any republican. #Savage2030

10

u/lilb1190 8h ago

"Savage, what is your take on the state of the economy"

"Ruff!"

7

u/AltonBParker 8h ago

"Mr. Savage, what is the impact of the increased cost of living on the average American citizen?"

"Awooooooo!!"

4

u/Odd-Neighborhood4214 7h ago

Let me admire myself in the damn mirror so I can at least think

4

u/Lexibee86 8h ago

Well said, Savage. We'll have more from our candidates after these commercials centered around delicious meats.

4

u/Odd-Neighborhood4214 8h ago

Let me get some rest, damn can’t a dog get a break once in a while

3

u/Lexibee86 8h ago

Man, this is exactly how I feel everytime I think about the economy. Savage nailed it.

4

u/patsully98 8h ago

/u/Odd-Neighborhood4214 and Savage walk into a bar. ON4 says to the bartender, “Hey, if Savage here talks to you, can I get a free beer?” Bartender says, “Hell yeah, if that dog can talk I’ll buy you a beer.”

ON4 says to Savage, “Savage, what goes on top of a house?”
Savage: Roof! Roof!
ON4: Savage, what’s your take on the economy?
Savage: Ruff! Ruff!
ON4: “Savage, who’s the greatest Yankee of all time?
Savage: Ruth! Ruth!

Bartender says, “Aw get outta here with that bullshit” and kicks them out. They get outside and ON4 looks down at Savage, and Savage looks up at ON4 and says, “DiMaggio?”

2

u/Odd-Neighborhood4214 8h ago

Savage says our economy was doing just great before we got a “child” in the White House and it will take me yrs to straighten out

1

u/Odd-Neighborhood4214 7h ago

Hmm, the state of the economy will take me “2 weeks” to get this taken care of

Woof Woof

3

u/Odd-Neighborhood4214 8h ago

Hmmm, gotta think about that…. Get back with me in 2 weeks

2

u/Viidia 8h ago

I am a dog if it means not being or voting Republicans!

5

u/Careless-Hour-1319 8h ago

Savage in 2028

3

u/Odd-Neighborhood4214 8h ago

This is my running mate, if he would put down the damn paper

2

u/lebowtzu 7h ago

No stacks of classified documents. I think I can support this.

2

u/Odd-Neighborhood4214 7h ago

The classic documents are in safe hands right now

2

u/WolverineFar8226 7h ago

Savage looks better than paxton

1

u/Odd-Neighborhood4214 7h ago

It doesn’t take much to be better than that love of garbage

2

u/Im_with_stooopid 6h ago

When your dog sits he probably doesn't poop himself either.

5

u/MrHodgeToo 7h ago

The sad thing is Texans are so uneducated they’re going to vote for Paxton despite everything that informs them he is the worst choice for them on every front.

5

u/LoFriedBurgers 5h ago

I honestly believe Texas would vote for a cross burning klan president, as long as they said they hate gays and want all borders shut down.

Votes in Texas are less about helping the citizens and more about hurting folks that look and life differently.

4

u/WhatANoob2025 7h ago

I have no idea how ANY race in the US is not 99:1, yet here we are.

2

u/stolenfires 6h ago

Conservatives believe in a hierarchy where the people at the top get to tell their lessers what to do. And they gravitate to this system, because even if say, their boss gets to tell them what to do, they can go home and tell the wife what to do, who tells the kids what to do, who grow up aspiring to be the person who gets to tell other people what to do.

7

u/Hobo_Hungover 4h ago

Texas...Republicans...Benghazi...trans bathrooms...Putin...bots...Hillary's emails...Hunter's laptop...my mom voting for what her husband tells her...lack of critical thinking skills...public school teacher buying supplies for their students...Ilhan Omar getting her house raided by Homeland Security weeks before the Midterm Election...Elon Musk spending 249 Million South African rand, sorry, $USD so far to influence the election...Jan 6th...Epstein file release that surreptitiously doesn't release an outstanding amount of files for some reason...it's like it's rigged.

Just remember, boot straps! That's the way.

1

u/stryker_cast 3h ago

I stumbled up a thread full of Texans talking about Talarico, and was fucking aghast at their reasoning for supporting Paxton.

1

u/jimmyxs 2h ago

Those are stupid and hateful ppl hooks. Nobody in touch with basic cognitive functioning would make decisions based on that.

Perfect for the base.

2

u/The_Rope_Daddy 7h ago

Texas voted for Ted Cruz TWICE! I'm impressed they come so far that they're even considering a Democrat.

1

u/Vyntarus 1h ago

I voted for Ted Cruz the first time he ran because he promised to not do any of the garbage he has done since taking office.

I was a fool, but like W said... you can't get fooled again.

1

u/DollfaceeDiary 8h ago

I know right!!!!

1

u/SbMSU 8h ago

Stupidity. That’s how.

1

u/Responsible-Humor985 6h ago

Too many people treat politics like sports teams.

1

u/Chewsdayiddinit 6h ago

Because trump has made all the closeted racists and bigots comfortable to show who they are.

54

u/Thin-Competition3018 8h ago

Paxton has nothing for Talarico. He cannot have a policy debate. He cannot have cultural debate, he certainly cannot have a moral debate.
The best move for a crooked politician like Paxton is to stay as far away from ever meeting James Talarico, because, if they ever meet - - he will resemble politically just like his does in real life.

14

u/Quick_Team 8h ago

It'll come off like the first (or one of the first) televised debates where Nixon went up against JFK and Nixon just looked old, sickly, sweaty and exhausted in comparison to the younger, well reste, healthier, smiling opponent

30

u/Aromatic-Aide1119 8h ago

Do you want to know how I know there isn't a God? Because if there is, this race wouldn't be this close because a good and just God would not let someone so corrupt be an option at the ballot box.

10

u/Independent_Tax_5088 8h ago

Then Trump as president must really lock that belief in for you.

6

u/ComradeJohnS 8h ago

it really does. especially when he started selling his chrump bibles and didn’t burst into flame.

or the literal golden statue of him at a church.

14

u/TheBlanc0ne 8h ago

Paxton looks like half his soul has already left his body and the other half is clawing to get out

7

u/techman710 8h ago

Seeing Paxton sweat as he gives monosyllabic answers would be hilarious. He would answer every question by blaming boys in girls sports. He has no personality and even Republicans hate him.

6

u/Playful-Sleep-6750 8h ago

His face looks like hes always actively taking a shit

1

u/AlkaiserSoze 5h ago

I always felt his face looks like he was constantly choking down a ham sandwich.

6

u/holiday1326 8h ago

Paxton always looks like he permanently has to keep one eye on lookout for a raid due to all of the crimes and fraud he has committed.

8

u/plump_wizard Humanitarian ♥️ 8h ago

Paxton would get absolutely destroyed. If you have seen the footage of him on the floor of the Texas House of Representatives it is apparent he can easily hold his own during a debate. Plus the man was a middle school teacher ... haha ... that is not an easy job.

5

u/goatbiryani48 6h ago

This is incredibly unclear lol, you gotta work on your pronoun antecedents

1

u/Aggravating_Bat3618 4h ago

What exactly are you trying to say here??

5

u/Rough_Common6857 Drama Llama 🎭 8h ago

Paxton is just evil. You can see it in his eyes.

2

u/AsideLost 8h ago

Honest question. Did Paxton have a stroke or something? Like why he got a wonky eye?

2

u/Levintry 8h ago

He had his eye hit with a small object when he was a kid and his right eye got elbowed so hard it fractured his skull, this was during a college basketball game

6

u/Fkna666519 7h ago

Someone should just invite Ken to a talk show and surprise him with Talarico as a special guest and just debate.

3

u/PiterDeV 8h ago

Paxton hoping to god he never has to appear on a debate stage with someone not willing to put up with his parroting of maga bs and empty rhetoric.

3

u/redsandsfort 8h ago

Is Paxton as crooked as everyone says?

4

u/Greenman8907 8h ago

Even more crooked than you can imagine. He’s the most corrupt candidate running for office this midterm.

2

u/PetalumaPegleg 8h ago

Much worse tbh.

2

u/Pirateship906 6h ago

Look him in the eyes and ask that.

2

u/Malodoror 8h ago

Oh shit! Absolutely dog walked!

2

u/Reasonable_Film_4348 7h ago

Why does it look like he's doing that chameleon eye thing where they look two different directions and having a stroke?

1

u/ToothbrushWilly 8h ago

Him and $ need to have their 👀 checked

1

u/Physical_Noise_8484 8h ago

I would love a debate and let Talarico ask why Im seeing his dumb ass in a political ad in Colorado?

1

u/Arctimon 8h ago

It's funny because even Trump has said they should debate. Paxton is to the point where he's an inch away from fleeing the state to avoid debating Talarico.

1

u/SnickSnitch 7h ago

If I were Talarico, I would absolutely get that out there as much as possible. "Your boy Trump wants us to debate, so why you running bro?"

1

u/UnluckyText 54m ago

He is in Dubai, so....

1

u/Quirky_Reporter_8067 8h ago

Send me location..

1

u/NemODevO 8h ago

He looks like a can of assholes

1

u/jkra0512 8h ago

I see Paxton has an eye for details...

1

u/WhatANoob2025 7h ago

LMFAO, if I am allowed to utilize an analogy for this, this is basically paxton bragging about his large monster penis on a public stage in front of millions if attendants and talarico going on stage and pulling down his pants for everyone to see the truth.

1

u/Luc1ddr3am09 7h ago

To admit that a Republican is wrong... Well, clutch my pearls! That's shameful and dreadful! (Most southern Belle accent) /s

1

u/EveyNameIsTaken_ 6h ago

Dude is hoping texas being texas is enough for him to win

1

u/StrongAntelope8665 6h ago

Maybe Talarico should send him an edible arrangement of just berries.

3

u/BummedCPA 6h ago

Bro looks like he's wearing an Edgar suit. 

2

u/Fiveofthem 5h ago

“Sugar, in water”

1

u/Scandy_Man 6h ago

It’s rigged. I’m calling it now.

2

u/Aggravating_Bat3618 4h ago

The details he requires:

Complete control over all questions and needs them approved by his team and needs them three days in advance

Except…Talarico does not also get to see the questions in advance. 

2

u/Safe-Ad-8921 3h ago

Yeah it's kind of crazy that Paxton hasnt been run out of town on a rail by now. The fact that Texans may actually elect him is pretty damning. Good luck all you people who moved there because TAXES BAD.