Sorry for the defeatist post but I feel like I've hit a wall here and I feel like it's pretty beneficial to 99% of people here.

My ex and I broke up 7 years ago. We were together for a little over 2 years, and she found a new boyfriend in 2 months. That sent my brain into panic mode, forced me to reflect on why we didn't work out. Once I realized why I wanted to go talk to to her but she shut down communication hard.

I didn't know No Contact was the "thing" at the time so I only started it once month 3 rolled around, but still, I felt I was in a pretty good position. Studied a bunch of nonsense courses and coaches, even paid for that shit. Didn't even have the money for it.

Her relationship with that other guy ended after like 1.5 years. I thought she'd reach out, there were signs she wanted to -- she never did. After about a month of trying to prod her into doing so, I decided I'd put too much time into this and reached out myself.

Woop-de-fuckin'-doo, she was already talking to someone new.

"Alright, well fuck this" I figure. So I don't pay attention to what's going on with her all the way up until this past week. I don't even want to get back together anymore, I just figure I'm going to be in her area and it'd be nice to reconnect and catch up.

Verdict? "Thoughtful" but "no".

No contact will not get your ex back. They might not even want a conversation ever again.

Do right by you and yours, and drop it.

We dated for 6 years and have been broken up for a little over a year now.

Tbh I felt like I have healed pretty well granted everything I went through. I found out that she was cheating on me with her coworker and we ended things. I pretty much removed her from everything as well as her friends and family. A real out of sight out of mind mentality.

Anyway, today I saw that a mutual friend of ours posted on their story that she got engaged to the guy I caught her cheating on me with.

Ngl this shit hurts. I really have done a good job and getting over this relationship and moving on, but damn this hurts. I feel like crashing out but I know that will do me no good. I have to go through my day and just pretend that it doesn’t bother me when it honestly is killing me inside. Don’t get me wrong I really have moved on and faced reality but damn this hurts bad to see.

Have you gone through this before?? What’s the best way to go about it?

I already plan on removing anyone from social media who posts about her. Sucks because we went to college together so we have a ton of mutuals but it’s just better for my health.

My ex left me for someone else almost 1.5 years ago. She wasn't honest during the breakup and said she wanted to stay friends, only for me to find out about a week after leaving what was really going on. I immediately went no contact. I've broken it a few times to get stuff back, and once when we saw each other because she texted me that she was going through a rough time. Every time we break no contact it hurts. It hurts that she wants to be friends after lying and betraying me like that. I just don't want to think about her anymore. I blocked her a few weeks ago after getting the last of my things back.

I gave her back her things through her mom a couple months after leaving, but I kept a bunch of gifts she made. She's a super talented artist, and I loved a lot of the pieces she gave me. As time went by, I started hiding everything I ran into in a box in my closet. It's the only thing left of her in my life, and I don't want it anymore. It's like a stone in my heart.

I'm struggling to know what to do with them. They're not really something a random person would want, so donating or gifting them doesn't make much sense to me. But they're valuable because they're someone's creation and expression, and they're good. I can't stand the thought of just throwing them in the trash. I don't want to talk to her to ask what I should do, either. I think the best thing to do would be to return them. But I don't want to be inconsiderate and hurt her.

I'm closed off to her but she isn't to me, so every time I reach out she's receptive, but not the other way around. It's gotta hurt that she wants to be friends and I don't. I think getting the box will hurt her. But I think it's the best option for me. I also don't know if I should include a note, how friendly/loving/honest it should be, or just say nothing. I also think about the note because I don't want her returning things to me, she can throw them in the trash for all I care. I don't want anything around me that reminds me of her. I miss her like crazy, I would love to have her in my life, but I need to close the chapter. It just hurts too much to see her happy with someone she left me for while I'm still a mess, with less friends, worse health, and less income than before the breakup.

If anyone has any advice or has gone through something similar, I'd appreciate any insights. Thank you for reading <3

I was datinf this guy for a couple of months and everything was going well. However, after the honey moon phase, I started noticing his behaviour change which I know is pretty normal. We also spoke about getting married soon and we had insane chemistry and I did love him so much I still do. However, I had my reasons to break up with him and I thought we left is off in a good way where we wished each other well and said goodbye.

But then the minute after, he blocked me and my friends profiles from all socials and blocked my number. I know guys generally don’t block and I’ve been seeing everywhere on Instagram that if a guy blocks a girl that means the girl is a “menace” - I don’t even know what that means?? My question is to the straight guys, what would take you to really block a girl who you’ve been dating?? Do I take it as he never liked me or that it was too intense for him??

My (27M) bf broke up with me (27F) a few weeks ago. I finally just removed him on find my friends and instagram. It feels freeing but also infuriates me that even at the end of the day I was the one who was dumped but still had to truly sever the connection. He couldn’t do me the favor and remove me on anything. Even find my friends.

He wasn’t looking at any of my stories and then one sudden day two weeks after the breakup he started to view everything I posted. And of course it was after I spent the night at a friends house who he is unfamiliar with, so it made me wonder if he was still checking my location and saw I was somewhere he didn’t recognize and he went to try to figure it out through watching my story. But the fact that I was putting energy into figuring out why he was watching my story was also infuriating me. Because the more energy I put into figuring him out, the less I put on my healing journey.

I let him have my location still while not checking his at all, and i never viewed any of his stories after he broke up with me. But after he started viewing them again, it made me mad.

It made me so mad that he could look at my stuff completely unbothered and go about his day, so I just removed him on everything. We’ve been no contact since the day he broke up with me. I was hesitant about removing him on social media, but it’s absolutely for the best. It feels nice not being perceived by him.

If anyone’s going through a breakup, save yourself the mental stress and just remove them and their friends on social media. Nothing matters just go live your life and stop putting energy into people that are okay with losing you.

Our breakup was pretty mutual although he ultimately ended it.

We’ve had eachother blocked and unblocked for the whole of the breakup.

The last time he reached out to me was when he noticed I unfollowed and removed him on social medias. I couldn’t bare watch him follow all these new girls within a week of our breakup.

I was doing okay for awhile but it’s all hit me hard again. I really want to reach out to him, my friends and family don’t think I should but they don’t understand him like I do or got to live the good moments like I did.

He looks great and like he’s thriving without me and I guess I feel jealous too.

What do I do

Its been about 8 months since I was brutally discarded by my ex. I blocked him on everything, but started to watch him and his friends through a private browser.

In that time, I would see his friends occasionally post my ex with a woman sitting next to him. I usually couldn’t make out her face and I wasn’t sure if it was the same person each time… until this past weekend.

One friend posted a video and you can clearly see the woman in it and she’s calling my ex “baby”

My ex used to always mention my weight and healthy eating to me and this woman he’s with is what he would have referred to as “fat as fuck” (for context he even called my sister fat once and this new girl of his is definitely bigger than my sister).

I honestly feel bad for the new woman.. Assuming that she’s a good person and my ex hasn’t met his match.

I know he will never post her and admit to being in a relationship on social media (he also follows thousands of women and flirts with them, therefore he will always play single), but he will post quotes and subliminal messages when they fight (he already has with her, so I was able to tell when they would argue) he did the same to me. Only ever alluded to being in a relationship when he had something negative to share. It was awful.
I knew he never posted me because he wanted to hide being in a relationship from the countless women he follows and flirts with on Instagram. I know that the cycle did not start/end with me and it will simply continue with the next woman.

My point is, I know that that man did not and will not ever change for her or anyone. The way he cheated on me and discarded me once he realized I wasn’t going to forgive him— he will do it to anyone.

So, the day before yesterday I decided to just stop watching. I don’t need anymore information. I see who he is with and I already know he is probably treating her like absolute garbage behind closed doors.

If she was a decent person, and knew how he gave me TWO std’s while we were together, she wouldn’t date him. i wonder if she knows that my ex has a highly contagious and incurable STD. I wonder if he was honest with her about that, because he was never honest with me at all.

I no longer have the desire to watch him or keep up with him. I realized that I moved on a long time ago— and me keeping tabs was only picking at the scab.

During no contact, do you hear that inner voice screaming at you to reach out? If so, your brain is trying to do its job. No contact was meant to be the worst way to deal with a breakup. Its original purpose was never meant to heal. Back in the paleolithic era, humans needed each other for survival. The purpose of attachment was to keep humans attached to each other. The feelings of incompleteness were meant to keep you close to your partner and tribe for survival. Doing no contact with a partner from the same tribe usually meant permanent separation from the group. The reason why people who easily do no contact hardly exist today was because they were much more easily killed off by predators and other extreme factors.

However, the emergence of developing technology broke this rule. What was meant to be the most dangerous way gradually turned to the healthiest and safest tactic of handling a breakup. We no longer depend on our partner and tribe for immediate survival. Modern homes, grocery stores, beds, and farms give space to focus on the distant future. Therefore, separate space to focus on ourselves has recently become the most viable way to deal with a breakup.

It's factually incorrect to say that there's something wrong with you when you're struggling with no contact. Your brain isn’t stupid for wanting them back. The human brain is generally unadaptive and extremely insensitive to change. It's still programmed mostly in primitive mode, because humans only lived in the modern technological era for approximately 250 years when modern humans first began existing around 300,000 years ago!

I hope that we're able to talk about us someday.

We met at work, I wasn't attracted to her in the beginning but she approached and I gave her my number, in time i started to like her, even to the point of catching feelings. She introduced me to her 2 year old daughter whom I also later on cared about. She had financial problems so I did help her with what I could, sometimes I would even borrow money so she wouldn't have to walk home from work; not excepting anything in return but out of love, sometimes I even bought pampers or Uber eats( alot of times) because there almost never was food all the times I visited her house. I gave her $350 for mother's day, no one else gave her anything, I helped paying for her new phone, gave her birthday presents but I didn't receive anything from her and mine was two days earlier. We lasted 8 months, she told me the day we broke up that she never felt truly happy with me because for that she needed at least half all her bills paid, someone who could gave her the money she asked on the spot, because I didn't gave her the $250 when she had a medical emergency, I gave her $50 that I took from my already incomplete rent money but she just told me that was useless now that I learn who gave her the money I would feel sad about it, in a mocking way. I wasnt cold or man enough to stop myself from sobbing in the phone while she started comparing me with her baby daddy saying that even his bum ass took her on dates on her birthday and my sorry ass could not. I stayed quayet after the breakup, not texting her, not speaking about her with no one at work but she kept reposting stuff about how shit a man I was, or how she's must better without me. Not only she walks past me at work without even acknowledging me, she won't even greet me because I'm not worth the courtesy but after a month she posted another man with at a concert, my fault for checking her ig and seeing thing that I shouldn't. If you have any advice I would take it. Sorry for the long read

Last night, I had a dream about her. Weirdly enough it was amazing. We were happy and living life. I had a trigger just as I woke up, that I hugged her. In the dream, as I was about to wake, I remember my body telling me to hug her tighter bc I’ll never see her again. Safe to say. I woke up wanted to burst into tears considering we’ve been in NC for 9 months lmao

Last time I spoke to my ex was back in March 2026 and she was dating someone and she said she's happy and making plans with him. Then I seemeed to have missed a notification from her recently and all I see is "Messaged deleted" on WhatsApp.

I don't understand why she would send a message when she has not called me or spoken to me once since March. Maybe she was breadcrumbing me idk. What does this mean? I don't want to message her to ask because she'll probably say it was an accident and pretend it means nothing.

Anyone experienced this same situation? Am I being breadcrumbed?

This sucks and I feel like I am about to lose it.

I (23M) and my ex (22F) were in a long distance relationship for 5 years. We started dating when we were in high school and later I had to move far for my college. Everything seemed perfect until last year when her parents started pressing her for marriage. I always wanted to end up marrying her and she felt the same. Or atleast that’s what she always told me. So I asked her to let me introduce myself to her parents. But she refused it saying that it’s a bad time right now and that she’ll manage the situation. And out of the blue, one night when I was asleep she left me a message saying that the situation got out of hand and that she’s sorry and not to text her back. The next morning when I woke up and saw the message, I was devastated. I couldn’t even reach her to find out what happened. I was depressed and heartbroken. After almost a year of no contact, last week she reached back to me. I got pretty excited for the time being and wanted to know what exactly happened. She told me that she got into a heated argument with her family and they pressed her to marry a man of their choice. I then asked her what did she decide and she told me to look for another girl and find happiness with her. My heart shattered and my mind went blank. I decided I should not force her anymore questions and she has made her mind. At the least I wanted to end it on a friendlier note. We said our goodbyes and never spoke again.

I’m still trying to recover and getting better by trying to focus on my work. I just wanted to ask a few questions to the Indian women on this sub. Why do you let your parents decide your future? You are the one living the life and not them. So why don’t you decide for yourself? Why even love a man and make promises when you know that you’re going to leave him in the end?

My ex (26F) and I (32M) were together for two years and broke up six months ago, in April, because she wanted kids and I wasn't ready for such a commitment. We lived together, but she chose to stay in the apartment while I moved out. Ever since I moved out, we’d been in complete no contact and had deleted each other on social media. Just like that, two years of a beautiful love story, gone.

Three months later, in July, I reached out to her. We talked for a day, but ultimately, she said that she had already moved on and that I’d lost my chance by staying silent for so long. I recently made a post on r/BreakUps explaining what happened. She said that she still loved me but that our time together had come to an end. She asked me not to contact her anymore.

Another three months have passed since we last spoke, and yesterday I made the huge mistake of reaching out again. It’s been six months already, and it still hurts like hell. This time, she couldn’t have been more direct. She explicitly said that if I contacted her again in any way, she’d press charges. When I tried to reply, she had already blocked me. I sent her an email saying everything I could think of and sharing my final words, but I know it’s very likely that I’m already blocked and she’ll never read it.

Yesterday, I had a huge breakdown and went to my parents’ house. I cried with them all night long for the first time. Ever since we broke up, I’ve been carrying that weight all alone, and I finally reached my breaking point. They were incredibly supportive, and I’m very grateful for that. But still, I feel completely dead and empty inside.

My hopes of getting back together are officially gone, and honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever date again. What we had was nearly perfect, and although our time together was relatively short, it was truly magical. I hope she has a wonderful, happy, and fulfilling life. She deserves the best. I hope she finds someone who will love her as much as I did and give her the family I couldn’t give her.

So yeah, now I have no other choice but to move on. I’ll just keep working on myself and going to therapy, like I’ve already been doing, and hope that better days will eventually come.

This is long, sorry in advance

The break up was about 3 weeks ago and since then my whole life has changed. I moved across the country for college and my boyfriend stayed home. About 3 weeks ago he broke up with me because he said our lives are to different and a lot in his life is changing and he doesn’t see how this could work. Since then my life has gone completely down hill and I know I would be okay if he was still with me. The relationship was good and we had been together for a year and a half. It wasn’t toxic and the breakup wasn’t because of any bad reason. I understood why he did it and we had talked about this happening before I left but now that it happened I’m lost.

To start I have been having serious mental health problems since I came here and the day he broke up with me I was going to tell him I was going to move back home at the end of the school year. He got to it first and I told him a few days later. I have been missing my family and my support so much and realized moving was the biggest mistake I made. After a lot of tears and conversations with my mom I have decided to finish this semester and move home during Christmas break, take a semester off, and attend the community college in the fall.

He had told me that we can still be friends after we broke up and I believe him and things seemed okay. Then he unfollowed me on everything then unadded me on Snapchat. I haven’t spoken to him since and that was 2 weeks ago. My roommate is a terrible person and an ever worse friend. I’ve stopped drinking because every time I do my “friends” send me home because I’m being annoying and ruining the vibe so I stopped going out period. We last time I went to a frat party, me and my roommate got separated and she ended up leaving the frat without me and never told/texted me. After she left I was too drunk and crying a guy I didn’t know said he would help me. He SA’ed me and then kicked me out. I don’t do hookups and not this soon after a relationship. I am not okay and I still don’t know how to process it.

My boyfriend is the only person who knew about the first time it happened and I want to tell him about this because I feel so dirty and disgusting and I feel like I can’t tell anyone. A couple nights ago the 24/7 mental health crisis team showed up at my dorm and asked to talked to me because my RA, 2 teachers, and some neighbors reported me. I spent the next 3 hours talking to a large variety of people and have been recommended by the dean of students to take a semester off.

He said we can see eachother at Christmas when I go home and I still really want too(this was before no contact). I don’t know if he wants to see me anymore. I have his number and fight the urge to text him everyday but I don’t know what else to do. He has been there through the worst times of my life, I was homeless before I came to college and he never judged me and still treated me like a normal person. He was my bestfriend and I don’t know what to do. I want him back and his Christmas present I order days before we broke up came in and I don’t know what to do with it. Throwing it away seems wrong and keeping it seems wrong. Giving it to him seems wrong so I’m at a loss. I want to tell him about everything that has happened since we broke up but I don’t want him to seem like I am manipulating him to get with me again. He was my person and I still believe that. I don’t understand how this is so easy for him. I know I will never love the same way again.

What do I do? Do I follow him on socials again now that some time has passed? Do I text him? If so what do I say? I can’t move on it’s not right, none of this feels right

M26 just lost her a second time in two years, the first 6 months were magical and she was everything I could have asked for. We worked hard and struggled over our relationship and differing attachment styles, the first time I thought I lost her forever, somehow... I got her back after no contact. Things were magical again for 2 months, then the cycle repeated and now I just lost her again. I never thought I'd open my heart again like this, let alone fight so hard. Now I'm just numb and kinda hopeless. Soon I'll be 27 and I thought I'd be married with children by now, how does someone move on and go through the beginnings again with someone else after you've loved and fought so hard?

It wasn't a good relationship. I'm sad it ended, but I guess it had to.

I am more struggling with shame and embarrassment at this point. I do not want to tell my family back on the east coast that this girl I dropped everything for abandoned me. I feel so pathetic. I'm sure she's also like talking shit about me to friends and family.

I am also in this lease with her. I can probably move out in 3 months but I almost want to force her to pay her half for the entire lease term like she originally agreed. She sacrificed almost nothing for our relationship, and then left me. I want her to see consequences for once.

This is quite a unique one. Will be a long paragraph but I just want to get it off my chest. Any advice would be appreciated (no sugarcoating pls). And before you say it, yes I’m an idiot.

For context I am a trust fund kid from a wealthy family (21M). I’ve always been a insecure and introverted person. Ive always kept my wealth a secret from people as I want people to like me for me rather than what my family has. I’m decent looking and tall but I’ve never had a relationship before until this due to work being the main priority in life and the fact I’ve never really resonated with someone who was in fact interested in me.

I slid in this girls DMs (20F) who I really found attractive and sweet. To my luck, she actually replied back to me. Long story short, we start talking and we quite like each other. We dated for about 4 months and went on about 7-8 dates. We were each other’s first date, first time holding hands with the opposite gender, and first kiss etc. We used to text eachother every day for the time we were together. She has a lot of friends and I’m quite a lonely guy, so doing all these activities together which I’ve never done before really brought the inner boy out of me, and meant more to me than her. Her friends had quite toxic relationships in the past so they were always protective of her.

Although I loved her, but was never able to say it. I didn’t tell her about my families wealth or who I really was. I told her I’m in university (which I’m not). Although I knew I had something really rare and special, eventually Something inside of me started sabotaging the relationship. My ego, insecurities and lack of experience truly made a side of me come out which I’ve never seen before. Even though we never argued, I slowly chased her away with my red flags, which I only realized I had once she had once she got fed up with me.

My “friends” whom I’m not close with anymore after our relationship ended. Always fed me wrong advice. They constantly made me feel as if she wasn’t enough. They pushed me to be more traditional, and constantly question the girl as if I were the prize. They also teased me with the fact that she was going into nursing school. Which is because of the stereotype of nurses being cheaters etc, my social media feed was constantly full of that too. In a few weak moments, I said a few things about her career which I really regret and made it seem as if I doubted her. I was being completely unsupportive of her and judging her.

About a month ago, three days into nursing school, we disagreed on the topic of abortion. Although we were on the same page, my ego just wanted to disagree and win the argument rather than simply acknowledge she was right. This turned out to be her breaking point. She told me she wanted to go our separate ways as she didn’t want problems down the road, at first I didn’t really care, but out of curiosity asked why. She mentioned my red flags; not being supportive of her career, being too traditional, and our disagreement on abortion plus a few other small things. All which was said my an emotional/egotistical side of me. We both agreed to go our separate ways. Realization hit me a day after. I spent the entire next day begging and pleading for another chance, rather than taking accountability. I reached out on every platform we had eachother added on and spammed her until she basically blocked me on everything. I didn’t received a single response from her. Basically we went into no contact via block. About a week later, out of the blue she blocked me on the last platform we were added on and changed her profile picture.

After two weeks of no contact i sent her a message from a different number. I took accountability for my actions and told her about my family and my insecurities along with acknowledging her feelings. I didn’t receive a response to that message either.

Fast forward to today and it’s been a month. Out of pure shame and regret. I haven’t eaten or slept in a month. Everyday I yearn, so much so that even my parents found out. I’ve dropped 10 lbs and the pain just doesn’t go away. I’m trying my best to detach and move on but my heart just doesn’t let me. People like her are hard to find, and I only realized after she left. There isn’t anything in the world I wouldn’t do to get her back.

Basically she’s seen a toxic, emotional incomplete version and walled up version of me. Her birthday is coming up in two weeks and I want to use that as an excuse to reach out again.

I don’t know how bad I screwed this up or if she’ll ever come back. Any advice would be appreciated.

We were together about 11 months, and she was my first love. She told me I was the best she's ever had.

We broke up 2 months ago over long-term differences neither of us could change. Still a lot of love on both sides, no cheating or fighting. Breakup day was very tough, we both cried a lot. I took it really hard and cried for weeks, but I'm in a much better place now. I'm in a much better state of mind now 2 months later. Some days are really good but some days the anxiety and sadness hits me all over again.

She, however, got on Hinge about 2 weeks after, which she called a "distraction," and within a month she'd gotten physical with someone (not sex). A friend also came across her Hinge recently, and it now says she’s looking for something long-term.

She says she doesn't really feel or show her emotions much. We're no contact now. Honestly, it makes me wonder if I ever really knew her. How can someone who loved you seem to move on so fast? Did she actually grieve, or just numb it? Did she check out early on since we knew it was coming ( how tf do you even check out while being with someone??) Will she ever feel the loss? And how do I fully let go when it feels so uneven?

Please be honest with me.