I’m currently on Day 14 after quitting heavy daily THC dabbing (3+ years of concentrate use). To give my body a fighting chance, I also quit cigarettes and alcohol at the same time.

Today the cravings for a dab are hitting me incredibly hard. It’s a massive mental test because I am also dealing with an active stomach ulcer right now. The rebound nausea, cramping, and lack of appetite from cannabis withdrawal are overlapping with the ulcer pain, and my brain keeps trying to convince me that a dab will fix my stomach.

But I know it’s a trap. Alcohol and nicotine were destroying my stomach lining, and heavy concentrate use was messing up my gut-brain connection. I’ve made it nearly two full weeks, and I know throwing a heavy dab back into my system will just reset the clock on my recovery and my stomach's healing.

I’m posting here to keep my hands busy and stay accountable instead of giving in. How did you guys get through the intense craving spikes around the two-week mark? Leaning on this group a lot for mutual support.

​

Waking up, bathing, sitting in my room, scrolling, eating, sleeping in the noon, walking for an hour, coming back home, eating again, sleeping

Depending on my parents

28 year old 🥲

Lying to everyone that I'm working but I'm not

Really scared of myself and for myself

I see the time, date, months, years changing but not me

Everytime I start something in the hope to use that as the guiding force for the rest of the day like yoga, running, workout, praying, etc i stop doing them a month later and that's it

I do nothing for another 2 months

And I'm stuck in this phase for eternity

It's been 3 fcuking years i did an actual job

Not much of my savings are left as well

Even I owe some money to my uncle and friends

Please please please somebody help me get out of this rut

It feels like either I should die to escape or I really want to do something great which I think I should and I can

Please anybody help me

I'm literally begging anybody who reads this

I don't even feel like crying because I've become such a passive person because of this whole thing

I'm stuck in this life 🙏

I really want to do something

I was a great student back in my school and college

A part of me cannot even fathom what's happening to me because I had big big dreams

I could achieve none and I didn't even try hard

Please please please please please help me 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

I love telling people my ideas and what I'm going to do. Honestly, it makes me feel smart and cool. Then a lot of the time I don't do it.

That's how it's always gone for me. Say it, get the good feeling, and the feeling replaces the actual doing.

What I've had to admit is that a lot of the time we say these things for the dopamine hit. There's some arrogance in it too, if I'm being real. Once you see that, you can choose not to do it. The rest is impulse control, being a bit more mature and not acting on every whim to announce things.

How I think about it now: a decision is like a product a machine makes. The machine is your values and beliefs, and the raw material going in is information. Feed it better information and fix the machine, and better decisions come out. You're still the one choosing.

Starting today, I talk about what I've done, not what I'm going to do. Not "I'm going to start the gym." Go first, then: "Went yesterday, learned this, felt like this." What's done is done and can't be changed, so it actually means something.

Does anyone else lose the drive for something right after telling people about it?

I got sober in March, I’m a little over 7 months into it. I was a daily drinker. Mainly beer & wine, and although I blacked out 1 or 2 times a year, it had been much more frequent at times. 15 years ago I was blacking out once a month, 12 years ago that escalated to every weekend.
In the past ten years I thought I was cooling my jets but the health consequences of daily drinking and vaping thc were building. 4 years ago I had sepsis, was hospitalized, had pneumonia and asthma since then.
In my sobriety I’ve gotten my asthma pretty under control and even run 6 miles every other day for the past 4 months. It’s been liberating.
I did this in AA with a sponsor. AA is a spiritual program, and this has all stressed my marriage. My husband has 1-4 drinks per day, more in social settings, and is spiritually glum. He’s a great dad and provides well for our family. He’s a normal guy. But the changes I have made have been hard on our relationship.
I’ve had zero libido in sobriety too so that doesn’t help much.
Then, this week, my sponsor broke my trust. She approached someone who asked me to sponsor them and said something to her that really offended the girl to the extent she never talked to me again. My sponsor says she said “I won’t tell X that you’re changing sponsors to OP, don’t worry”. But as bad as that is, I think there’s more to the story. I literally asked her not to talk about this. She also had shared details I’ve told her I thought in confidence to other AA members.
My sobriety has been rewarding. I go to an early morning meeting my sponsor doesn’t attend usually so I think I am continue on with that group.
I just let ok at my life and I have so many excuses not to go on. Like there are many reasons to just go back to drinking on a much more moderate basis, but I actually care greatly for my health, so I will not.
I’m promising myself today (and hopefully each day forever) not to drink because it’s not worth it.
Breaking up with my sponsor is going to be very difficult for me. We have shared a deep bond but I am very icked out by her.
Thoughts?

I’m not an entirely bad person— I can be really thoughtful, considerate, and kind to others. But I have very short patience and I can be dismissive of others when they ramble on or say something I don’t like.

In particular, I’m like this towards a girl in one of my university classes. We’ve been assigned to the same project, but generally I disagree with her on most topics and if I’m honest I don’t respect her judgements/opinions. Others have noted that things get tense when we interact and I know that’s from me being cold. I always feel guilty after the interaction but in the moment I find it hard to be respectful and kind towards her.

My partner brought it to my attention that they feel like they’re walking on eggshells with me and never know if they’re going to say the wrong thing. My mum has mentioned this to me before and I didn’t think much of it because we have always had a tense relationship. I do feel bad because I know I can be moody and defensive at times.

God, this post is making me sound awful. But I really don’t want to be unpleasant towards others, especially when none of these people deserve it. Ultimately it doesn’t make me feel good either, I feel ashamed.

How can I be better?

I have been lazy, and have been battling depression ever since my dad died a few years ago. This lead me to becoming more tired and just bed rotting. I try to do more in the day, but I end up feeling like I need a nap, and once I take it I still feel sluggish. I want to get better, but I have no idea where to start and how. Any advice?

Hi there! I'm a 29M Indian guy living in Canada, and I struggle with what I believe is pretty severe ADHD (undiagnosed).

One of my biggest problems is procrastination. I constantly put things off, even when they're relatively simple or important. Sometimes I'll delay something for days or weeks despite knowing it needs to get done. It's honestly frustrating, and I really want to change this about myself.

I've been thinking about trying a small experiment to see whether having some financial accountability might help me get things done.

Here's how it would work:

• I'm looking for someone who would be willing to act as accountability partner.
• I'll tell you a specific task I need to complete and set a deadline for myself.
• If I don't complete the task by that deadline, I'll send you $10.
• If I complete it on time, I owe you nothing!
• Wherever possible, I'll share some proof that the task was completed.

The tasks could be anything from booking an appointment I've been putting off, cleaning my apartment, completing some paperwork, or finishing a personal project.

One thing I want to make very clear: I'm not looking for people who see this as an opportunity to make money off me. I'm genuinely trying to improve myself, and I'd love to find someone who approaches this in a friendly, supportive way rather than hoping I fail so they can collect $10.

I know this might sound like a strange idea, but I've tried relying on willpower alone, and it hasn't worked particularly well. I figured experimenting with something different might be worth a shot.

And if anyone would genuinely be interested in volunteering, feel free to comment or DM me!

Long story short, I had suicidal depression for a long time. Tried to end things multiple times. Now, I'm 30, and I want a future.

But I feel like I don't really know what planning for a future looks like? Because for so many years, I didn't think I would live to see the next day or the next week or the next month, let alone the next year or further into the future than that.

I feel like I am starting to learn, but am still just... confused about what planning for the future looks like, just because, well, it's pretty new to me.

Running taught me how to have some future goals to work towards, by signing up for races and then needing to train for them.

I did start investing, 401(k), emergency fund savings (which felt HUGE because i was so bad with money for so long simply because I didn't think i had a future so what did it matter).

I do have some trips I want to take. I think Antartica would be sick. New Zealand, Australia, Iceland.

I have a boyfriend, and the relationship is new, but he talks about the future with such casual certainty, like me meeting his dad and sister and whatnot.

I have a job I am very lucky to have, that I am good at.

I do have some goals I want to achieve, like publishing a book and completing an Ironman.

But I guess I just... am curious. Is this how planning for the future works? You just decide that you want to do something and then you work / save to make it happen? Or is there more to it than that? I guess I still struggle thinking further than a couple of weeks in advance, purely because... i just got accustomed to it. But now that I do want to live and plan on sticking around, I should learn.

I feel kinda silly, because I know I'm a 30 year old woman. I should know these things. But... I don't. But I do want to learn. So, any advice you have would be much appreciated.​

I hope this is okay to post here.

As a teenager and for most of my life, I was dissatisfied for a lot of tangled things that I attributed to not being able to be the person I wanted to be, not being able to connect with others the way I wanted. I spent long time just ruminating. When it builds up, I cry randomly. I suddenly say things to others without being asked. I wrote on my notebooks expressing how I feel so alone.

If I had to summarize what happened to my life, I did just enough to pass through everything. Finished high school and uni with a degree, with distinctions, which I didn’t think was that hard to obtain. Took a gap year. Went to med school. Perhaps, with already conflicted feelings, but I thought it was my best path, until the workload was high enough to force my eyes often that the cost was too much for something my heart wasn’t fully into.

Fast forward. Just maybe 2-3 weeks after I dropped out, I’m pressured to go look for a job. And after the struggle during that dropping out from med school decision, money gone to waste, the feeling to start over and re-do everything is extremely strong.

I have a lot of conflicting feelings, and no matter how many times I think about it or talk about it to someone else, it just never resolves: the things I want to do, the things I should do, and what I think people expect from me. And I just can’t be honest with myself. I don’t know how to believe these things that I want, whether I’m just running away from something or if I’m really moving toward them.

- I don’t want to work the job my degree will give me anymore.

- I can tolerate it, but sometimes, it gives me the feeling that I should just go die and be run over in a ditch because I feel like I can’t do anything. I’m so incompetent at this that I don’t even know how to do my own life.

- My childish dream is to just be an artist while working at some random job. Initially, I was so convinced of it I thought that was going to be my direction.

What do I do if I can’t trust myself because of my own volatility? If even knowing that I should just move without any of the certainty still won’t make me move? Am I overreacting? Should I just go be a normal adult and just swallow a numbing pill or get a cigarette to bear with it?

I have an anxiety disorder that I denied the existence of for many years, slowly letting it wreak havoc on my life until I realized that it's not some fake, novel concept.

Going to the doctor makes me really anxious. I know that it sounds stupid, I reason with myself that everything is fine, but it seriously freaks me out. It's the people, the judgement, the abrasive receptionists, etc.

Then, I delay it. And then I get anxious about the delay, wondering how much more my anxiety will ruin my life if I don't get help immediately. And I also get anxious about how far out the psychiatrist appointment will be, etc.

And I get anxious to ask people to drop their own things to accompany me.

I know that the key is to just not listen to the anxiety, and learn how to do things scared. I understand that anxiety is an emotion that everyone experiences, and that my problem is more how I respond to the anxiety (avoidance).

How do I change my response?

Any and all advice is appreciated 🙏

28 female firey Mediterranean married to 38 male British German who is unbothered by most things, never lashes out just goes quiet and blank faced when he is upset or annoyed. I think his lack of emotion to even small issues winds me up and makes me worse, like I am pushing for more of a reaction but I never get the one I want. I am for the most part happy in my marriage but we are emotionally incompatible when it comes to conflict and always have been. We are happy and love each other but we have an 8 week old baby, are very tired and don't have many nice sweet moments like we used to (been together 2.5 years, married 5 months). When we have a disagreement I can't help myself but show it on my face, feel the red rage bubbling beneath the surface and he can tell I am going crazy inside even if I try to hide it. My voice changes if I try to fight it, I go robotic and he tells me to stop doing freaky voices. He tells me to just talk to him like a rational person if I have a problem but whenever I try to calmly do this, I always end up going red rage. What is wrong with me? Any tips on not to do this?

But every morning I get up and the feeling of dread and worry takes over me. There is no particular reason for the dread/worry but it’s there. I start most days in tears and never leave my house unless I have to.

I genuinely wish I would feel the urge to get up and go out for a walk and enjoy the day, make plans etc. I can of course do this physically, but mentally something just won’t let me do it so I just sit and rot inside.

I’m on medication and have had about 2 rounds of talking therapies, I don’t know what to do I’m scared I feel this way forever.

I stole 2 candy bars from my local shopping centre and got caught I feel really bad not just for getting caught but for choosing to do it in the first place how can I come back from this

Someone who was most likely very drunk tried to get a rise out of me, followed me most of my way home pushing me and shouting at me for not giving him a rizla. A few years ago I would have snapped at this and it would have become a fight. I don't want to be that person now and it meant I just kept my mouth shut, kept walking and ignored everything, the pushing the threats, the verbal abuse. This wasn't an assault, this person wanted someone else to throw the first punch, and a few years ago I would have bitten. I know I did the right thing walking away, but I am still lying awake thinking I should have hit him.

To be clear I'm not someone who thinks they're the modern day Chuck Norris. I just used to be a scrappy idiot, and I want to be better, but I'm still lying awake wishing I hit him and feeling so very unfulfilled from walking away. To be honest I just want assurance I'm better off walking away and I hope someone else understands this feeling that when you do, it does not always feel like the right choice

TLDR idiot was looking for a fight, ex idiot feels frustrated for not rising to it

30F, single, unemployed and living with my parents. I have depression and ADHD. For the past year I've been applying incessantly, and doing all the things that are supposed to work -volunteering, spending time with friends, therapy, art, etc. but I'm still just...awful half the time.

I ghosted half my friends because I could barely leave the house and also because I'm so jealous that they're all coupled up with great careers. Being around them just reminds me of how my life feels like it was and is just a pile of mistakes. Whenever I'm around them I feel like I constantly need to apologize for my existence and choices and it's just empty promises that I'm getting better.

The worst is my parents. They're not perfect - they are deeply overprotective and even when I didn't live with them they were always in my business. I had to fight for every scrap of independence and I guarded it fiercely until I lost everything and ended up back here. But they also really love me and are doing their best and I just can't stop being pissed at them. I blame myself for the fact that my life is like this, it's not their fault, but they're just always there as a constant reminder that while everyone I know is out there living their lives and being real adults I'm regressing into an angry teenager.

I don't want to be this bitter bitch all the time, and I especially don't like how I bring down the vibe in every other room. When I spend time away from my parents I feel like myself and make real progress towards improving myself, and my phone calls with them are lovely, but as soon as I return to their house I get so sad and tired trying to manage my dad's disappointment and my mom's ADHD. I feel so lost and stuck and it's made me so mean and angry.

I want to be consistent and kind and a better friend and a better daughter but I'm just so frustrated all the time.

How can I change?

I am sick of whenever I try to be positive or change for the better for someone to just say “Well your technically doing” no no, I’m still making a difference and inspiring others to do the same.

For example when I try to minimize ai usage, I know practically everything uses ai at some part but I’m sure actively avoiding it makes a difference.

And while I’m definitely not picking up every piece of trash in town in one day, but I’m picking stuff up everyday, I am making a difference.

I am not saying you can’t criticize anyone, and i definitely need to research more, but stop being cynical, why do you actively try to make life more miserable for you?

I’m just assuming here but at best you’re feeling pretty bad about yourself and are trying to criticize and it’s coming out worse, and at worst, your only way of coping is to make someone happy feel awful. The only other option I can think of is you are lazy and use “The world is broken” as an excuse not to do anything productive.

I am very aware of reddits reputation, it and x are infamous for being toxic pools of misinformation, hatred, and crushed souls, but a lot of communities and people here are just wanting to spread good news and help others, so consider that, maybe we can be the thing this site is known for one day.

Also things like saying to someone “Nutering is actively harmful” on a post about nutering being a good thing, is a good thing to do, and if someone is doing something super harmful, you can state your opinion. This actually happened and I was the one who made the nutering is good post. But if you’re just choosing to take down someone trying to find a way to do things a little better in life, then that is hatespeach.

Edited this in: Ok hate speech wasn’t the right word, trolling or ragebait is probably more accurate, or simply apathy.

Over the summer I was going pretty consistently, like 4 times a week, and it felt easy because I had nothing else going on. Once school started I kept going for a couple weeks, then midterms hit and I basically stopped. Now it's been a few weeks and every time I think about going there's an assignment or exam that feels more urgent.

The annoying part is I know going would help with the stress. It's not that I don't want to, it's that it's always the first thing I drop when things get busy.

For people who've stayed consistent through busy stretches (exams, work crunch, whatever), what actually worked? Did you lower the bar, schedule it like a class, find someone to go with? Curious what kept you going when it stopped being convenient.

This is kind of a pathetic situation, but I'm eager to change it. I'm just exhausted of trying and don't know what to do.

I think my problem is my ~mindset~ but idk how to change it. "There's no point" plays on a loop in my head. Most of my time is spent scrambling for money (working 2 jobs and side hustles) and I've spread myself a little thin, but it's been necessary to keep up with bills, debt repayment, and cost of living. I believe that this will be my entire adulthood 🤷‍♀️ And ok fine it is what it is, could be worse.

But I can't seem to reconcile myself to this. I can't be content with this. I've noticed that when the weight of hopelessness and just being lost piles too high, I cope in a way that does cost money.

It kinda dooms me to having to scramble to find ends meet more, but in the moment I don't care because I feel there's no point to trying if there's no chance to get ahead. Ya know?

So I know my mindset and habits are the problem, but I don't know how to change them. It's been years of trying to be positive and focused, but I always fall into this pit. It's a nasty cycle but I know it's my fault and I truly want to fix it.

I'm just lost

title, started a new perfect job that i am amazing at. apparently. since its so important im TERRIFIED of fucking up, and exactly a month before, i was fired via plaintext email one week after being hired at a similar job and it has lowkey traumatized me.

my coworkers have let me know im doing great but since i got this job via connection im so scared of fucking up, bc i have no clue how i would get a job like this again. not to mention i have a community connection, so i would be so embarrassed

the big problem is any time i make the most minor of mistakes, i get this INSTANT pit of anxiety in my stomach. no matter how much i reassure myself it takes like an hour to go away. even just the possibility of a mistake (for instance meeting briefly w my super nice boss) gives me an immediate stomachache.

it's so annoying bc LOGICALLY i know everything is fine, but my body has this stupid reaction i can't get rid of. and im at work which is super fast paced so i dont have a chance to stop and force myself to chill somehow.

any recommendations to get rid of this? im on meds already, might get vyvanse but ive already tried beta blockers, that public speaking drug, and every ssri. ive gotten these since i was a kid and now that things are more serious im ready to fight it

About 8 years ago now, I did something terrible. I took advantage of someone, used them to get something I wanted from a friend. The guilt room me over and I confessed it all. I split away from my main friend group. I traumatized one of the people I cared about the most, which I guess I didn't care about enough because I hurt them as I did. Since then I've never forgiven myself, I'm an anxious mess and I fall into a cycle of self-hatred. I rarely hurt myself physically but I've tortured myselfentally for long periods of time. To the point where some things from the past would affect me physically now when I encounter them. I tried to be better, to move past myself, but I keep falling back after a random length of time.

A month ago one of the people from that friend group reconnected with me. He wanted to help me get back up, maybe not back with the old friends but maybe somewhere new. I wasn't in a bad place at the moment so I accepted. We go to the gym, talk, it's good. I think it's possible to get up off myself. But but questions keep nagging on my head. One of the members of my old friend group saw me and they still hate me, a lot of them don't even want to see me. It just makes me question myself more.

I hate myself, I can't forgive myself, I'm scared that I might hurt someone close to me the same way I did in the past. Maybe I won't, because I already know what to avoid. But I was also so sure in the past that I'd never hurt them. I did anyway. And there's no real way to be sure that I would never hurt anyone again through my own selfishness.

I know that the current me isn't the old me. I also know that we're all capable of evil in some way. How do I get past this? Do I just have to prioritise myself over the possibility of hurting others? Is it just a lack of self love? How could I treat others as lesser then me in that case, is that not wrong to do? I would appreciate any advice, really.

I’m not sure if I worded this right but here I go, I’m currently in a work situation with this woman and I’ve learned some thing about her which I won’t get into. But before she would always run her hand along my back or neck pretty much being touchy and she would always want me near her for example when she moved her desk she moved my stuff beside her. About a month or two ago she stopped talking to me because she thought I was mad at her which is ironic considering I’ll be talking to my other work friends and she’ll purposely come over talk to them and ignore me. Now I did comfort her cause I just needed to clear the air so I think we are good now the only thing I’m struggling with is wanting to be seen by her. I’m not sure if it’s the physical touch thing because I’ll be honest I’m an introvert so I’m quiet. I’m just trying not to be hooked on someone so toxic because I’ve learned she loves the attention she gets from other people and I’m trying so hard to redirect my attention to something else but it’s hard when I feel like and notice that I want to be seen by her.

Edit: I just want to thank everyone for their advice and response I feel a bit at ease now ^^

These days, I keep thinking about suicide and planning it out in my head—when, where, and how.

It’s constantly on my mind. I was on antidepressants for 30 days. The first week was good, but by the end of the course, everything started feeling the same again.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to take care of myself anymore.

I don’t shower every day. I’ve stopped wearing the nice clothes that used to make me feel good about myself. I don’t do my hair anymore, or even look at myself in the mirror.

I bought a bunch of skincare products, but I rarely use them.

I get irritated easily, and I feel sad all the time. I’m losing weight, and I feel like I’ve lost my charm.

I miss myself.

So my parents always like to include me in their fights. Both of them, they will turn to me ask “Isn’t that true? Am I not right?”
I have learnt to ignore them.

The other day I made dinner. I went to ask my brother how many pieces he wanted and he said 4.

Then I called everyone for dinner and when I served my brother he said “but 4 are not enough for me” so I told him “f you, I came to ask you!” and he said “damn this girl is a little short tempered”.

It was fine, the tone was playful and we interact like that often so I knew it was fine for the both of us.
My issue is that my parents randomly started adding to it by saying “Deserved (the f you)” and “Next time you could have made it yourself”.

Even if it was a serious fight between us, I don’t think it should be none of their business. If we have a problem, we’ll resolve it alone without having to create a situation where it’s 3vs1.

So next time it happens I want to call them out on this, am I wrong? Maybe I am sensitive to this because of how they act when they fight or maybe because sometimes I feel like they hate my brother and have a preference for me (which I hate).