During the lockdown, I stumbled upon the book “Your Brain On Porn” and it really clicked something in me to want to quit this bad habit. I discovered many subreddits & YouTube videos regarding this journey & it felt really empowering. I would count the days and be proud of myself for hitting milestones like 90 days and ultimately going 6months without it.

Fast forward 7yrs and many relapses later, I was never fully commit to the process. It’s been a humbling experience realizing just how addicted and powerless I am to this. I’ve regressed so much socially, lost friendships because of constantly flaking on plans & not being present mentally. I drifted through life for almost a decade just feeding this bottomless pit of shame that’s done nothing but robbed me of my youth & exuberance. I am now 28yo with no social circle, a dead-end job barely getting by & have no self-discipline. I used to enjoy writing but I’m even struggling to articulate my thoughts because this thing has co-opted my whole brain.

I don’t know what the point of this post is, it’s just a word vomit full of self-pity & regret. I finally deleted all my social media because it’s my trigger, yet I still don’t have the belief that I can pull this off. Here is to hoping this is my rock bottom and a springboard towards leaving this thing behind me

This is just anaccountability post, a way to communicate what's going through me in the moment to the world. I'm only on day 2 and i really want to watch porn. It started in the gym as it often does. I got home and showered. I decided to take my dog for a thirty minute walk and now I'm here. I just want to get to tomorrow.

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Recently I made the big leap and nuked all my saved videos and pictures and deleted all my accounts.

I found myself with a lot more time in my hands, what can I replace porn with? Especially during downtimes at work.

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I have tried multiple times deleting all porn I have and not looking at porn but in the end this has 2 effects I end up being horny 24/7 and my mental health spirals.

Let me explain my story. So during 2020 I was 13-14 and I for my first time I got addicted due to soft core porn and ejaculating for my first time. At first I didn't wanna do it again cause it felt weird but by terrible terrible luck I saw something that made me realize I was doing it wrong and that started my addiction. I was already failing school and was stressed so it felt like a release and at first it was a once a day thing but it got worse I slowly got into dirtier stuff and did it more and I felt like ot was fine until 16. Once I was 16 I realized this was making me something I didn't wanna be. I was scared of girls and the relationships I had with the few girls I could talk to struggled and I became more lazy. I started fighting it but after 2 days I always fell back into it. Then fast forward im 18 my longest lasting relationship ended and for one week I used zero porn but then me and her got back together for one week and when she left a 2nd time I fell all the way back. It went from something I could fight too something im not sure if it's safe to stop. If I quit it I will spiral even worse than I do and I fear i'd hurt myself or even worse find a new addiction like alcohol or something more illegal. Im 19 now and it just feels meaningless I want to stop for myself and for my new partner and for my ambitions and my future but I also know that my fear that quiting could end up making things worse. I use to be Able to imagine and that staved off the addiction but it's not enough and that also doesn't slove death grip syndrome it's just... im scared I wanna quit but the risks feel too high and im not sure if fighting it will even be worth it if I just fail again because I fail once and I go on a bender for 3 months but usually more. What can I do at this point

Sometimes, I feel tensed and anxious at the thought of relapsing and turning back into my depressed addicted self. I just don't want to go through that again.

I want to be able to hope. I want to feel relief. I want a healthy relationship. I want to breathe in the fresh morning air and feel that deep, inner satisfaction. When was the last time I felt that?

I’m taking concrete steps to break free from this shit. So, let’s smile with relief: I’m here, I’m working on myself, and I’m capable of doing this. I deserve better than this.

See you tomorrow.

So unfortunately the urges got the better of me and I watched porn about a day ago.

I feel a significant amount of guilt and shame that one of my longest streaks is now broken.

But I don’t feel THAT guilty about it because after some research, I found out that a one day slip up doesn’t completely reverse the changes and healing to my brain back to day 1.

I just wanted to share this because I don’t want these thoughts and feelings to bottle up and lead to another binge. Feel free to leave any thoughts or opinions so I can have even more motivation for the journey ahead!!

I thought about it for a second on my way back home from work but the temptation faded.

Completed day 14! on day 15!

accepting urges and thoughts and recognizing they dont have any power on my actions

I don't think they've been filled in a long time. Sometimes I just keep going and going shooting blanks.

I’ve been exposed to pornography for quite a while now and I’ve done experiments with myself as to try to come to the conclusion of whether porn is actually bad for me or not, to whom I haven’t quite gotten a clear answer. I see people in here with the craziest schedules to watch porn, not judging but watching porn more than one time a day for hours is definitely insane. However I tend to ( or used to ), watch it maybe 2-3 a week for what I lasted, which was never more than 10 minutes LOL. My question is, am I really that bad off ? Am I blind to some secret evil here. As to my personal life, I don’t feel a difference with or without it. The things I don’t achieve or slack on are clearly because I lack of other skills and personal will. I’m not sure how much does porn have to do in any of that. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Im 32 and I'm addicted to porn, sometimes I tried to stop and I was really successful a couple of times but everytime I see a naughty scene on YouTube it kept throwing me right back to porn.

When I had a girlfriend I entirely stopped porn for over than 1 year but having a girlfriend of course comes with new problems and I just like being a lone dude.

Now I'm thinking about starting again but I'm sure that one YouTube video where a woman reveals too much of herself will get me again.

After I graduate high school (2-3 years ago), I kind of fell into a rut. My social life / friendships took a turn for the worse (my fault because i wasn't reaching out or going out or anything), I stopped exercising, I gained 25ish pounds, eating terribly every day. I also hated my major in school, and played videogames and never cleaned or did anything productive besides my coursework which I felt forced into doing. Since then, I have switched my major into something I feel much more satisfied with, I have begun mending my friendships and I'd say they are going really well, I exercise every day (mostly lifting some running), I consume the media I enjoy consuming and it makes me happy, I work, and my weight is back down. These things all make me happy. I also have a girlfriend and we are sexually active. We have been in a relationship since highschool, so we got together before my mental and physical health started declining, and she's been with me through my recovery.

However, throughout this journey, I have struggled with porn use / abuse. For context, porn addiction is deeply rooted in my brain, and I was exposed to it numerous times since the age of seven (20 now). I've used porn heavily since middle school. Before I graduated, I wasn't using it as badly as I have been since graduating. It got really bad during my rough period, and most days after school and work, I would come home and watching porn or do something porn-adjacent for at least 2 hours before I did anything else. And although it isn't quite as bad, I am still watching porn at least once a day, and at least half of the days I use it at least twice. It is directly making my mental health worse. I feel ashamed and guilty, and I know that it makes the other things in my life less enjoyable.

I dont know where to go from here. I have been trying to quit for at least a year. I need help please.

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Really looking forward to doing this.

I had a great Sunday morning. Prayer. Soccer game. Co-ed team won. Men's team won and I scored the game tying goal and game winning goal.

Dodgers lost. I ended up watching porn.

I have a New Years Resolution to not watch any Pirated Pornography.

My parents were in Music Industry and encouraged me not to download any music, I deleted any that I downloaded when I was 19, over ten years ago!

With porn I've paid creators over $50,000 for videos. I would like to get rid of my piracy and tube site habit and only watch porn that I purchased in 2027.

Cheers to day zero again!

Lets fucking Goooo! Trynna remove porn addiction one day at a time.

I feel better today than I did yesterday, haven’t really thought about watching it or getting off in general.

It has really helped me gain some perspective and better understand what’s going on.

I had read a lot about this two years ago and made great progress regarding my addiction and how I felt. But once I finished my materials, I stopped reading. I ended up relapsing. Gradually, I forgot what I had learned and found myself trapped back in the vicious cycle that was undermining my self-esteem.

Therapy helped a lot with working on self-esteem and shame, but on the addiction side, it did not help as much as reading did for me.

I don’t really want to keep counting the days, but I’m going to stick with it until I hit the 10-day mark; then I’ll reward myself with something healthy 🙂

Day 2 of my 10 days of change. Done ✅

(I am not going to share what I am reading because of the rules of the sub)

The last few days have been really rough, but I still managed not to relapse. Any advice?

I feel good today .

Urges are hitting me from all directions. I’m day 8 for porn day 6 for vapes so I’m craving both.
Sleep and energy are good though.

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