r/HonestHotTakes • u/Misterlee777 • 1d ago

casual hot take Men should raise their standards

A lot of men will complain that women standards are too high or unrealistic and they may be some truth to that but at the same time complaining won’t change anything so men should instead raise their standards and require more of women so the playing field will be more equal.

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago edited 1d ago

Women want someone competent who genuinely likes them. If you think that's a high standard then...

Edit: Oops I triggered the incels.

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u/LonelyPermit2306 1d ago

Way to generalize all women...

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

You gonna start a movement?

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u/LonelyPermit2306 1d ago

I think feminism is already a thing, thanks

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

You gonna do the hashtag not all women now?

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u/LonelyPermit2306 1d ago

We already have #believeallwomen

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

That's a different topic.

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u/PUNCH-WAS-SERVED 1d ago

LOL, right... Is that all?

Then why, seriously, do women have a million random things that men supposedly need to be... To the point where even fictional men can't live up to the expectations.

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u/InteractionNo6147 23h ago

The real answer is they don't. Go outside and ralk to enough people you will find a partner. Too many people (mainly man but lots of women too) staying home all day twisting themselves into a bitter knot instead of just living life.

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u/Which-Decision 21h ago

What million things? 

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

Do you want the real honest or one as annoying and disingenuous as your comment?

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u/No_Aioli_6174 1d ago

Disingenuous comment to a disingenuous post I think the response is valid

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u/Expensive_Savings_42 1d ago

Haha, yeah, that's the only thing women want and don't act on anything but that. What a joke. You're part of the problem.

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

I guess you could interpret what I wrote that way if you wanted something to be upset about.

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u/Rdr2Master1 1d ago

So do Men

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u/PraireGentleman 1d ago

So why does height come up so often? Or “looking feminine”?

We already have the data, women generally don’t know what’s attractive relatively speaking on dating apps. Men do. Women not communicating what they want and still being upset when it’s not done is stereotypically common. At least when a man doesn’t communicate, they’re not huffy about you not knowing what restaurant they wanted to eat at

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u/Nikenofila 1d ago

Most normal women I've met have never been on dating apps, it doesn't appeal to women whatsoever. You can't infer chemistry or personality from an app.

That's why there's so many more men on them and a good chunk of the female profiles are bots or gold-diggers who don't care about personality.

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u/PUNCH-WAS-SERVED 1d ago

Dating apps reflect a lot of information. You're trying to disregard millions of points of data versus what? You have seen a few women with short SOs and then you think dating app data is wrong? XD

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u/InteractionNo6147 23h ago

Dating apps are a selection bias, they are people who by definition are not succesful finding partners the "normal" way.

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u/Which-Decision 21h ago

Dating apps are 2/3 men 1/3 women. Majority of women don't use them and if they do it's not long. Dating apps also only have looks to go off of. 

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u/Acrobatic-Concert430 1d ago

As a skinny fit 5'11 guy I was getting likes on bumble from pretty much only morbidly obese women, because women that looked like me were pretty much exclusively swiping out of their league. This is such horseshit it's actually insaaaane.

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u/Which-Decision 21h ago

How do you know they're out of their league and your league isn't just fat women? Being skinny doesn't mean your face isn't busted or odd looking. Dating apps are also 3 men to 1 women in some places like Bumble is in the UK. So obviously most men aren't going to get swiped on or even seen by most women. Every profile has an internal rating and uses facial recognition to recommend profiles.

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u/TypeIXDiabetes 1d ago edited 1d ago

Not exclusive to women unfortunately. Vast majority of my likes and superswipes come from obese men on bumble. I’m 22 BMI. Idk where you live but the US is simply an obese country, as well as many other developed nations (and more recently, developing nations as well)

Dating apps just breeds an environment where everyone shoots their shot with anybody because they got nothing to lose. Nothing wrong with that but sifting through the likes gets a bit annoying

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u/Acrobatic-Concert430 1d ago

I'm not trying to accuse you of lying, but what do you mean by vast majority? To be clear, before I deleted the apps, I was getting only one or two likes per month from somewhat skinny women. Like less than 5% of my likes were from somewhat skinny people.

Even if the majority of your likes were from obese men, I am guessing you probably still had hundreds of overall likes from skinny men. And I doubt your percentage was as low as mine. The male dating experience is just a whole different ball game... I had no standards and still couldnt get a GF...

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u/TypeIXDiabetes 1d ago edited 1d ago

The skinny men generally had misaligned dating intentions (I’m looking for LTR, they’re looking for casual). They were probably swiping on everyone without actually reading the profile. Or they smoked, which is something I made sure to specify is a dealbreaker for me

The dating app sucks for everyone

Edit: Maybe I should add that my hobbies probably attracted a certain demographic of men too. I like to draw anime and I have a picture of myself in a Ren Faire costume. I love nerdy men but I feel like nerdy men also skew towards not going outside too often. Nothing against them but it simply doesn’t align with my lifestyle values. Not that it’s relevant to your point, just ranting. I overcame my food addiction and got myself down to a healthy body size. I don’t want to be around someone who will eat in a way that makes me relapse into my addiction. Or worse, make me become a nagging girlfriend who is worried for their health. That’s stupid, I shouldn’t go out with someone with the intention to “fix” them down the line — rant over

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

How's your personality though?

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u/Acrobatic-Concert430 1d ago

Pretty boring. Which is why I'm not upset women didn't want second dates, but am upset I couldn't get likes in the first place. I had a super high conversion rate through messaging to get a first date at least though.

And NO, the reason I struggled to get likes was NOT because of my personality, it is all about looks for likes. People will find any excuse to delude themselves that it isn't so I just want to clarify, I had plenty of women look over and approve my profile.

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

Ah yes. The good old fashioned "conversion rate"...

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u/Acrobatic-Concert430 1d ago

What? I don't get it

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u/Lucky_Commercial_996 1d ago

She has nothing to add to the conversation so all she can say is some quip.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

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u/HonestHotTakes-ModTeam 18h ago

Hot takes can get heated, but keep the discussion focused on the opinion, not the person. Bullying, harassment, insults, and personal attacks aren’t allowed.

Disagree all you want. Just don’t be a jerk about it.

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u/Mean-Penalty7862 1d ago

Im gonna be honest, i'm in my early 20s and I swipe in a way on dating apps that I do not date in person. I swipe on whoever's hottest. I date however the fuck i like. My friends all thought (all 10 of them) that my ex-boyfriend was ugly, I thought he was the prettiest guy I'd ever seen at one point. He was 5'4. We broke up because he had a massive drinking problem and would drink like a bottle of vodka a day. It wasn't sustainable for me because he'd snap while angry and I got sick of waiting for change. Maybe its normal, idk im not a man, but this idea that women have insanely high standards feels like its mostly constructed by men. I need to be emotional about the guy, AKA friends first, and then the rest follows naturally. I've known other women where this is the case.

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u/Acrobatic-Concert430 1d ago

Ok but whhhhhyyy do we all have these experiences? Women keep insisting this, but why are all men saying they have the similar experience? Where the fuck are the skinny women???

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u/lemoncatbeans 1d ago

I'm 128 pounds, 5'7", I haven't been on the apps in a long time, but I never had much luck with them. I'd only match with a few guys at a time because I found it overwhelming and dystopian to try to carry on too many convos (mostly surface-level) at once. Because I knew many guys just swipe right on anyone they find attractive, it felt exhausting to filter out the ones who weren't looking for the same things or weren't a personality match.

My main physical requirements are taller than me, nice smile, a head of hair, and looking physically healthy. But I wouldn't swipe right just off attraction alone. The biggest indicator to me of whether we were compatible was if their lives were interesting, and if they seemed like an adventurous person, had any of the same hobbies I do. Because I need someone that's willing to do fun stuff with me, and also inspires me to do fun stuff. So I'd automatically swipe right on anyone with a snowboarding/ski pic, because I knew they'd be down to go with me. Many of the more attractive guys I'd see just posted selfies in their home or wedding guest photos, and didn't have much of a similar personality I could play off of, and I knew they were probably getting swipes based on looks alone, so I didn't feel like making much of an effort with those profiles. But 90% of what the app showed me weren't those guys, it was usually older, out-of-shape, bald men. A lot of them coasting of their profession alone, but I typically don't click well with doctors or lawyers, so those details were not enough to show we had potential.

I've had much better luck in person, that's how I met my partner a few months ago. We work in kind of similar fields, make similar money, have similar interests, and our communication styles match up. I knew we'd be compatible just based on our first interactions. He came off as a very good listener and very empathetic. Very kind and insightful. Has so many cool interests. I probably wouldn't have came across him on the app because he is a few years younger than me, and my parameters were set to my age and older. He's also about the same height as me, but that doesn't cross my mind when meeting someone in person. An immediate sense of comfort with someone outshines any parameters I'd set the apps to.

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u/Mean-Penalty7862 1d ago

Im 50 kg. But I also think its gross to be like "well id only date skinny people". I dont constrain myself to those standards, humanity first. But tbh, ive lived in multiple different countries, the dating standard is different for everyone everywhere, and I think most people are just locked into the people they're around. I've been in one country and been chopped liver, and ive been in another and couldn't walk down the street without somebody wanting my number. Mostly comes down to where u are imo.

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u/MathAffectionate5867 1d ago

Plenty of guys who genuinely like women and are “competent” and they get overlooked. Please stop simplifying the matter; it’s tiresome.

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u/_Smashbrother_ 1d ago

You should look up the husband store joke.

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u/helloworld_123q 1d ago

*an already physically attractive person whos competent and genuinely likes them

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u/SoftnSweet37 1d ago

So exactly the same that men want?

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u/helloworld_123q 1d ago

except all women have suitors

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u/Safe_Cardiologist253 1d ago

Why blatantly lie like this, we all know you're lying and a bitter little b. Everyone can see through it

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u/okbrat00111011 1d ago

Go outside, do you find every man with a partner attractive?

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u/helloworld_123q 1d ago

having a partner≠being attracted to said partner

people on r/deadbedrooms have partners

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u/okbrat00111011 1d ago

You literally said that woman’s standards are “ *an already physically attractive person whos competent and genuinely likes them”

Attraction is a spectrum and subjective. 

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u/helloworld_123q 1d ago

maybe for women attractionis subjective, they can be fat or thin, short or tall, have sharp or soft features: therell be men

for men? If you arent tall and/or 8/10 facially, its ggs

and wtf do you mean by "spectrum"

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u/colamonkey356 1d ago

How many men are dating women who they don’t find physically attractive? I don’t see many dudes dating women that they think are like fat hogs or something.

Note: I said dating, not sleeping with. Some men will put their meat in a turkey baster.

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u/helloworld_123q 1d ago

The thing is, all women have men physically attracted to them

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u/colamonkey356 1d ago

I mean, do you really think there are zero women with no options? Pretty much every dude, even fat dudes, hate fat women. I could see a really fat woman who is really ugly having a very hard time.

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u/bulbousgrandpa 1d ago

A lot of dudes like fat women honestly. I have at least 4 friends that do off the top of my head. Maybe if someone is 500lbs+ they may have a lot of issues dating

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u/colamonkey356 1d ago

Well, dang. Maybe I am just being misled by the interweb because I’ve seen fat dudes make viral videos about how they don’t want to date fat girls. Yeah, I’d agree a little overweight probably no issues dating but 500+ lbs is probably hard. I always think of a 500 lbs person as fat, but there’s probably more grey area.

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u/bulbousgrandpa 1d ago

I'm not gonna pretend there are no guys that hate fat women, they do exist. But there are still quite a few guys that do like bigger girls. I personally find different aspects of women physically attractive and have dated girls as light as 115 lbs and heavy as 240 lbs and I'm a 205 lb gymbro. I don't think it's overtly common but it's not really rare either i guess.

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u/colamonkey356 1d ago

Makes sense!

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u/AntonioVivaldi7 1d ago

There are dudes with a fetish for fat women.

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u/helloworld_123q 1d ago

lol we even have a slur for men who like fat women. "chubby chasers"

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u/colamonkey356 1d ago

You know. I did forget about this, fair point.

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u/Acrobatic-Concert430 1d ago

The problem is fat women only swipe on skinny men on dating apps for the most part.

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u/colamonkey356 1d ago

Fair. Would it also be fair to say that men swiping on all women and then filtering them later also contributes to problems in dating?

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u/Old-Preference5313 1d ago

Are we forgetting that women use makeup, which significantly boosts their attractiveness !

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u/colamonkey356 21h ago

True, but makeup can’t change bone structure. Most of the time, women look relatively the same without makeup, just less eyelash or less lip color. Maybe more eyebags too if they use concealer! Men can also wear makeup :)

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u/Geschak 1d ago

Beautiful women dating ugly men is a lot more common than beautiful men dating ugly women.

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u/auntiesamautism 1d ago

“Trust me, bro.”

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u/helloworld_123q 1d ago

people heavily overrate women and underrate men + makeup

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u/Green-Passage-7870 1d ago

huh? handsome guys are some of the kindest guys ive met

and because they have so many options and have already likely been with very attractive women

they face the same problems as attractive women (not finding someone who genuinely likes them)

I definitely see plenty of attractive men with 'less attractive' women (subjective right?) but who would be very high quality as a package (relatively above average on many measures beyond looks, and they have genuine points of connection)

people severely underestimate what makes men invest and overly focus on what makes men want sex :\ two very different things

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u/Inner_Gap_2595 1d ago

Yeah, because many women would marry Jabba the fucking Hut if he's got money. 

I honestly do not see beautiful people dating down in the general public. It's quite jarring when you see a mismatched couple because of how rare it is. 

Men are definitely more likely to lower standards for casual sex than women. Relationship-wise, I think it is more individual across both genders. There are a lot more factors involved. 

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u/Geschak 13h ago

Look in your personal social environment instead of at rich people. How many beautiful women do you know who are with mediocre or ugly looking men? And how many beautiful looking men do you know who are with mediocre or ugly looking women?

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u/Inner_Gap_2595 9h ago

That's what I said in the second paragraph. It's extremely rare that I see couples with a disparity in the looks department. 

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u/Sadmanban 51m ago

Don't try to fight girl math. If a woman that is a 7 is dating an 8, by her logic she is the one dating down.

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u/Kindly-Night-5549 1d ago

Women just see the majority of men as ugly and majority of women as beautiful while both arent true.

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u/ThewFflegyy 1d ago

for sure, and rich men dating poor women is a lot more common than the other way around. attraction is not symmetrical.

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u/Own-Payment-5287 1d ago

Come to Seattle and say that 😂. The women here are hideous

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u/Many-Particular9387 1d ago

No it's not. It's just more noticeable when an ugly dude is with a hot women because of how rare it is. Both are uncommon but an attractive dude with an ugly woman isn't nearly as uncommon

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u/Bandit-Marauder 1d ago

You missed the part where those 'ugly' men are tall.

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u/Icy-Childhood9761 1d ago

It’s extremely rare though. I’ve never seen a beautiful with a guy who is short and ugly.

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u/JadedSwith 1d ago

Until they stop using make up.

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u/Exact_Tumbleweed2005 1d ago

beautiful men arent the equivalent, its rich men

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

Attraction is subjective

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u/Emotional-Health-717 1d ago

Yes but only partly. Let’s not pretend there aren’t men (or women for that matter) that you can show a picture of and 95/100 will say he’s attractive and others were 5/100 would say he’s attractive. I mean you know it and I know it.

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u/helloworld_123q 1d ago

*for women. You can be chubby(NOT A LANDWHALE) or skinny, short or tall, have soft or sharp features: therell be men out there

men? if youre not tall and handsome, your best bet is being a betabuxx cuck

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u/Dense_Climate9574 1d ago

Not really

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

It literally is.

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u/PUNCH-WAS-SERVED 1d ago

Girl, what kind of world do you live in? XD

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

Do you have room under your rock that you could share? I'm jealous

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u/Odd_Delay_603 1d ago

“An already physically attractive person” attraction is subjective. Even the “ugliest” people in your opinion can find love and even marry and have kids.

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u/colamonkey356 1d ago

Yeah, exactly. My only response to the whole looksmax or idk incel blackpill WHATEVER crowd is to go to a damn Walmart. You will see the two fattest, unfortunate looking people OR the most average people EVER in a happy relationship with a kid in the cart. Relationships are really more about location and luck imo. Looks are so subjective.

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u/Kindly-Night-5549 1d ago

Even the “ugliest” people in your opinion can find love and even marry and have kids.

That is simply not true

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u/Odd_Delay_603 1d ago

It’s simply a fact. I’m sorry facts don’t care about your perception of reality

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u/Kindly-Night-5549 1d ago

What are you basing your reality on? On the countless stories of extremely unattractive men working hard on themselves and getting rewarded with marriage and children? Are you arguing that any human is made to have infinite energy, confidence and is immune to constant negative experiences in his life? Are you expecting superhuman effort to be something that just everyone has, especially those who are less attractive and feel unwanted by everyone? Do you also go to mental hospitals and tell depressed people that everyone can be happy? Its always this "every guy can get happy if just does these thousand things that barely anyone has the motivation, mental capacity and mindest for." bullshit.

You wouldnt say everyone can be a millionaire or everyone can be a top tier athlete, yet you expect the same effort from those men just to get something the average woman gets from just existing.

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u/Odd_Delay_603 1d ago

Jesus Christ what are you fucking on about. Walk into a goddamn Walmart sometime and tell me if every coupe you see there is made of fucking models. I know this shit from MY own experience! It’s called having a goddamn life. I have friends I find unattractive finding relationships and being happy. I dated a guy for over a year that people still wonder how I ever found him attractive. You wanna know how? I liked him! I still do, I think he’s gorgeous even tho no one else around me does. And he has a girlfriend now so it wasn’t just me. No one’s ugly because attraction is subjective. You could argue the dude I’m fwb with atm is unattractive cuz he’s overweight and kinda looks like he could be a Nazi. But he’s fucking awesome and sweet and I trust him with my life. It’s time for you to go outside, buddy.

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u/WinterAdvantage3847 1d ago

we are basing our reality on using our eyes and noticing other people in public, not whatever “countless stories” and narratives you’re clearly being fed all day long by the rage/despair machine that is your phone’s social media algorithms

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u/Kindly-Night-5549 1d ago

I dont use social media (unless you count reddit), i never used instagram, tiktok, twitter or whatever else in my whole life. I dont scroll anything on my phone, it is purely for messaging and taking photos.

If you think my (and other mens) experiences simply arent real and completely made up and implanted by evil foreign powers into our gullible brains you are as naive as those that actually fall for these things. I am basing my experiences on my own life and exchanges with friends, colleagues and relatives of both genders.

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u/helloworld_123q 1d ago

if said ugly man gets a stem job and becomes a provider ooofy doofy, then sure he can get married and have childeren. But genuine attraction? Thats off limits

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u/lightsworn55 1d ago

If they're physically attractive they dont have to be competent ik way too many unemployed mfs who live with their parents and just have their rosters providing them anything their parents wont get them

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u/Weary-Marzipan-6636 1d ago

who is making 7 figures and will not disagree with a single opinion of here even if it requires ignoring proven facts

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u/RakeChapman13 1d ago

When a man or woman says they want someone funny, confident or kind etc it shouldn’t have to be said that they want someone they find physically attractive enough, that should just be assumed. Obvously they don’t mean anyone who is or at least thinks they are confident/funny/kind.

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u/LadyMcGardener 16h ago

Physical attraction is very subjective. Women like lots of different looks.

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u/PsychologySouth6485 1d ago edited 1d ago

You're dumbing down the issue. That's what normal people, regardless of gender, say they want. Dudes say that too. I think I literally saw another guy say this in this very post. This is "nice guy" bare minimum stuff.

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u/Desperate_Leg_40 1d ago

Thats the only requirement huh? I agree but dont be silly. Theres heaps more and its not surprising that the guys that dont qualify are disillusioned

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

Where did I say that?

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u/Dudey4you 1d ago

Sure lol

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u/SioVern 1d ago

Same for men - they "want someone competent who genuinely likes them" (not what they make).

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

As they should!

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u/xVelunax 1d ago

The huge miss is either sex not putting in the effort to be reciprocal in return when it's shown to them. 

It always seems to be one person is a giver and another a taker in a relationship. 

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u/Szcerba 1d ago

Thats an incredibly dumb statement considering everyone wants something different and you simply cannot for even a second speak for 3.5 billion woman, just like no one should be speaking for all those men.

People turning personal observations with a even a couple peoples lived experiences does not even remotely equate to what all woman or men want, millions of people, all of them are different, crazy.

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u/Tpbandx 1d ago

Lmao so delusional

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

🚨 INCEL ALERT 🚨

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u/Tpbandx 1d ago

Sounds like cope.. unfortunately for you I’m the last person you’d think is an incel if you knew me.

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u/Little-Bones 17h ago

you say as you tip your fedora

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u/Late_Pepper6274 1d ago

I just want a lady with no children, ex-husbands, spare tire or tattoos.

This is proving to be a very fucking high standard.

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u/headinthegamebruh 1d ago

spare tire

This is a high standard unfortunately, 40% of Americans are obese, another 30% are overweight. Those of us who look after our bodies have a small pool to choose from. Add on all the other requirements and you're probably looking at low single digit percentage of women who fit the criteria..

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u/Personal-Presence-10 1d ago

Hey that’s me. No piercings either. But I’m also 38, will never have kids and am already in a 3 year relationship so sorry about that lol He has 3 children (that he has full custody of) so the fact that I won’t and can’t (by choice) have kids is fantastic for him. A lot of men aren’t ok with a woman that is childfree by choice and will stay that way.

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u/Idk13008 1d ago

You are not childfree if you end up raising other people’s kids, that just a step parent.

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u/Personal-Presence-10 1d ago

Except I’m not raising his kids. We have separate houses and see each other when his parents keep the boys for a weekend. I don’t watch them or parent them. They have a hard enough time with all the craziness their birth mother has put them through. No need to add a step parent to the mix and stir up the mom and her antics even more. We aren’t married and I have no plans to get married or move in with them. I own my own home and am very happy with separate living arrangements.

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u/bugg_hunterr 1d ago

Spare tires? Did you get hurt during a tire changing accident or something? Have a spare tire on hand proves you’re responsible when it comes to vehicles. Isn’t that a good thing? Or is “spare tire” some sort of gen-z chud phrase that means something else?

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u/Final_Replacement_37 1d ago

It means that she can't be overweight.

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u/JimmyCradle 1d ago

A spare tire is (very old) slang for a big stomach.

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u/Pressurevalv 1d ago

*that's conventionally attractive otherwise they get relegated to being a buddy that gets to listen to all the bullshit without any of the perks. There fixed it for you.

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u/Which-Decision 21h ago

And a lot of men aren't even friends with women they don't find conventionally attractive.

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u/Motor_Barracuda7359 1d ago edited 1d ago

You know you're wrong when you gotta strawman yourself and all the points made over the last decade. Gee whiz lady.

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

If you're struggling to understand then I'm happy to explain.

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u/Motor_Barracuda7359 1d ago

I've both been alive longer than 10 years and I saw your comment. I don't need it explained, thank you. Whatever personal spin you're about to put on it will not at all match prevailing culture since 2016 or I'd bet there are probably a few layers to peel back on 'someone competent' and 'genuinely likes them'. Idk women are still the selecters aren't they?

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

Talk about some 2016 rhetoric...

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u/Motor_Barracuda7359 1d ago

We could but I'm not going to spend that much time inventing ways the term 'rapist' could apply to you.

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u/Little-Bones 17h ago

Literally what are you even on about?

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u/Aznable-Char 1d ago

I hv a full-time white-collar job and I’m genuinely interested in dating Emma Watson. I DMed her “hey” but she hasn’t replied. Why not?

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u/Nicholson65 1d ago edited 1d ago

You're joking right. That's the same thing that literally every freaking guy wants as well and heck some people aren't even able to get that in high school. I know what it's like to see a girl that you like literally melt for another dude that they don't even talk to, while I have to do everything just to get noticed in that way. And to this day I don't know what it's like to receive that type of energy from a woman. And it's not from a lack of trying I can tell you that much

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

You're*

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u/Nicholson65 1d ago

Freaking really ok fixed it. Can I get an actual response now because this is seriously the type of shit that makes me not even want to try commenting anything. Like Jesus really!

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u/FadsFikkelsen 1d ago

I see zelensky missed some data centers

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u/Masticatork 1d ago

If you actually believe what you just typed you have a serious issue of being out of touch with reality.

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u/Exact-Squash-5443 1d ago

Well that's not true at all

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

You're right. Women want to be hated and beaten and murdered how silly of me

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u/CryptosFeedback 1d ago

Got to be the most fake generic response ever

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

And yet it's so difficult for men....

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u/GWeb1920 1d ago edited 1d ago

If we are genralizimg

Who makes at least as much money as they do and is as least as attractive as they are.

Standards are good though.

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u/Bandit-Marauder 1d ago

Suuure. How tall have your partners been?

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u/Little-Bones 17h ago

12 feet tall skeletons from Home Depot.

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u/Drefs_ 1d ago

With all respect, I don't think it's true. It's not true for men either. Looks 100% matter for both genders, at least for the majority of people. There are also a ton of green and red flags and small things that matter for every person individually. Partners should also align in their values and worldview. I don't think women have high standards, just like I don't think men have low standards, but you comment severely oversimplifies things.

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u/lightsworn55 1d ago

If by 'competent' you mean over 6 feet and 8 inches then sure, competent.

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u/RocketPowerPops 1d ago

You are aware that there are a ton of dudes out there below 6 feet who are happily in relationships, right?

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u/RRBeachFG2 1d ago

Literally dozens!

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u/RocketPowerPops 1d ago

I can easily think of well over 20 off the top of my head just from my personal life alone.

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u/RakeChapman13 1d ago

A factor is that people add inches to height so alot of guys who say they are 6’1 are not even 6 ft, alot of women know this and then there’s women who can’t even tell the difference. 6 ft on a dating app is not actually 6 ft. The women who acfually have a legit 6 ft standard are a very small minority of women and there’s a difference between a preference and a requirement. Height is one of many things, there’s your face, your fashion, physique, your arms and shoulders, your charisma, empathy, kindness, toughness, the simular interests you have and things you can connect on.

most women just want a guy who is taller but plenty of women would date a guy who is slighty shorter if they dig them enough and find them attractive in other areas and my girlfriend is one of them. It’s not that she prefers that I’m shorter it’s just whatever compared to everything else and I make her feel feminine and protected.

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u/lightsworn55 1d ago

happily

Sure

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u/RocketPowerPops 1d ago

I mean, I have been happily married for many years and am not tall. Same goes for my brothers. And my brother in law. And the vast majority of human beings I know.

Get offline. See the real world.

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u/lightsworn55 1d ago

  I have been happily married

This is what every redditor says before you catch them on r/deadbedrooms

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u/RocketPowerPops 1d ago

Nope. Just had our 4th kid and were back in action as soon as we got the all clear from the doctor.

Not everyone is miserable. You can be short and happy. Hot take!

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u/Novel_Business_4101 1d ago

#living in an online world kinda reply

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u/Enemyoftheearth 1d ago

Missed the point award.

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u/RocketPowerPops 1d ago

Nope. Unless you didn't read the comment I responded to.

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u/Enemyoftheearth 1d ago

The point is that taller men are MORE LIKELY to get in relationships compared to shorter men, but I know that most Redditors can't handle any sort of generalized statement, so they just dismiss everything that isn't super specific and acknowledges every single nuance of an issue.

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u/RocketPowerPops 1d ago

That was not his point. Read his further comments. He says short men in relationships are not happy and will have dead bedrooms.

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u/Enemyoftheearth 1d ago

And how is he wrong? That's definitely more likely to happen to short men.

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u/RocketPowerPops 1d ago

Source?

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u/Enemyoftheearth 1d ago

Tf you mean "source"? It isn't uncommon for women to date men they aren't truly attracted to, which results in "dead bedrooms" and generally unhappy relationships. I thought this was common sense, but I guess not.

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u/Odd_Delay_603 1d ago

A lot of women don’t actually give a shit about height. Or don’t actually want tall men.

I give a shit about height but in the opposite way, I don’t wanna date someone taller than 5’10. Maybe if he was really sweet but overall super tall guys intimidate me and just aren’t that attractive imo.

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u/bulbousgrandpa 1d ago

I don't know if it's a lot necessarily by proportion of overall women. If you're around 5'7 or under as a guy then you're going to get filtered by increasing percentages of women as you get further and further under that line. I think the height obsession is overplayed a bit online for sure but things are definitely drastically harder for a 5'4 guy than a 5'10 guy. Probably by severalfold if you compare overall attempts vs success in getting first dates

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u/g_lottery_enjoyer_37 1d ago

"a lot of women" translation, me and a couple other unicorns that only exist online...

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u/Odd_Delay_603 1d ago

You really hate reality. I’m sorry it doesn’t align with your self victimizing delusions.

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u/g_lottery_enjoyer_37 1d ago

height of last 3 exes?

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u/Safe_Cardiologist253 1d ago

cry harder babe

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u/Odd_Delay_603 1d ago

No idea. Shorter than me, that’s what I know and that’s all I care about when it comes to height. I never really bother to ask. Tho I am sleeping with a guy taller than me, he’s 5’9, I’m 5’7, so it works for me.

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u/Entire_Art_5390 1d ago edited 1d ago

If you care more about the size of a hypothetical man’s cock than his hypothetical wife does, you might be gay. You’re probably gay.

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u/Geschak 1d ago

Stop paying attention to manosphere grifters, they're only after your money.

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u/RakeChapman13 1d ago

8 inches in dick size ? lol do you realize how big that is ? Most women can’t fake a 7 inch that well ( by well I mean deep penetration) look up the average length of an aroused cervix. I say this as a guy with a big dick. It’s limited My sex life because most women can’t take it well, I can’t fuck most women like I would want. I’m glad I have a gf now who is a size queen.

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

Thank you for proving my point...

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u/notzamasu 1d ago

Gotta be bait

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u/slashangel2 1d ago

Only if he is high, beautiful, good income and not over 35 of course. If you are 55 game over (example)

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

And who set that system up?

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u/slashangel2 1d ago

I don't know. Not me lol!

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u/Secret-Put-4525 1d ago

"Competent" is doing alot of heavy lifting

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u/Abject-Ticket-6260 1d ago

6 feet worth of competency, yeah.

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u/Milf_Please8286 1d ago

That is not all women want. And competent is doing a ton of heavy lifting here. Women want a man to approach, be stronger than her, taller than her, court her. Its way more than what women do for men

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u/ThewFflegyy 1d ago

if by kind and competent you mean, kind, competent, intelligent, wealthy, tall, athletic and socially well adapted then yes.

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

"If by competent you mean competent". Yes Jared, I do mean that.

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u/ThewFflegyy 1d ago

im sure thats all you meant, lmao. there is no shortage of competent men who will genuinely like the women they date....

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u/Possible_Cable3176 1d ago

if it were as simple as that then these dead horses wouldn't continue to be beaten

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u/Little-Bones 1d ago

Yeah if only men could take the hint.

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u/FadsFikkelsen 1d ago

You should really inform your fellow women then because they demonstrably prefer cruel men

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u/Little-Bones 17h ago

Why don't you control the cruel men?

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u/timdr18 1d ago

I’m sorry this is simply not true. Those are definitely characteristics they want… in a man that they also find sexually attractive. Also the definition of “competent” varies wildly from woman to woman.

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u/Little-Bones 17h ago

It's not true that we want to be genuinely liked by someone competent?

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u/PotentialSpaceman 1d ago

As a happily married man who did date a lot before meeting my wife?

I'm sorry but you are just wrong

If that is the extent of what you are looking for then awesome, you are not one of the people they are talking about, but the vast majority of men's lived experiences in the dating space these days shows that expectations for men on average are higher than then have ever been, and your personal standards aren't reflective of those of the majority

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u/Little-Bones 17h ago

Good Lord do you hear yourself? My personal standards of someone being competent and who is kind to me isn't reflective of the majority?

Get a hobby.

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u/shotokhan1992- 21h ago

This isn’t it. Women do not know what they actually want - which is really just masculinity, and strength in a man. The women who I’ve treated the worst love me more than the ones I’ve treated the best.

So “women want someone competent who genuinely likes them” - their standard of “competence” is gonna vary wildly, and you can genuinely like them but not TOO much, or you’re clingy and desperate. So, this advice is absolutely useless.

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u/Little-Bones 17h ago

Go to therapy.

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