This was me at the height of my mania+spiritual psychosis, in the first photo i'm actually smilling wide.

Those are all the things i was carrying in my bag, this was taken by my mom when she came to pick me up after the lady that worked at the building helped me to call her.

This is what got me diagnosed bipolar. I was taken to the hospital and then the psych ward. I was out of my mind in a way that is still a bit familiar to me (seeing patterns, believing i met god).

Stay safe out there🫂

I've been stable for over 8 years now. I got a diagnosis of bipolar type 1 when I was 23 and since then I've been completely fine. I stick to a strict medication regime and watch my sleep but goddamn do I still feel like I'm broken even though I'm not depressed.

I've recently been looking at a career change because my industry isn't doing too well. I went over the things I'm passionate about and realized how many doors are closed to me.

I was considering joining the CAF (Canadian Armed Forces) but I'm disqualified because of my condition. I was looking into EMS or maybe Nursing but I realized the shift work would probably be too hard on my sleep which could be a risk factor.

Even if I find a career job I can't be the guy who works late and makes the necessary sacrifices because pushing myself too hard could be a trigger.

I just feel so "less than" other people. Like I've got this permanent debuff in life that makes me less capable of coping and overcoming than the general population.

I'm not really looking for advice or anything I just know that nobody I know would understand how I feel.

Just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks for reading.

Existence is hell.

I continuously lose everything.

And it’s all my fault.

I lost my job due to an episode.

I lost my girlfriend of 3 years.

I just got arrested on 2 charges.

Some of this I can’t even blame on this disease.

Yet despite this hell I am in, I will claw my way out of here.

Even if it costs me my fingers.

Even if it costs me my hands.

Even if it costs me my arms.

I will claw my way out.

sometimes i genuinely wonder how much bipolar has affected my brain kasi i’m literally just in my early 20s and already struggling with my memory, dissociating sm, and forgetting things i shouldn’t be forgetting. tapos the medication situation is a whole different thing kasi whenever i take my antipsychotics, i feel so floaty and numb, parang lasing but weirdly calm? like wala akong maramdaman na genuine happiness or anything, and it feels like my mind is somewhere else while i’m just existing in my own body. parang hindi ko hawak sarili kong utak, if that even makes sense. kaya ang hirap din maging consistent sa meds kahit alam kong i need treatment. my doctor keeps warning me na i could get worse without it, and now i’m just wondering how much of this is the illness and how much is the side effects. do other bipolar people experience this too?

I have to take 10 pills every day to feel normal. To feel stable. And i have to do this for my entire life!!!!

And i was diagnosed at thirteen! Ive already been doing this shit for five years and im so sick of it. At least we have mostly figured out a cocktail that actually fucking works for me fairly early on.

Ill keep needing to regularly see a therapist and psychiatrist my whole life. I will need to pay a ridiculous amount of money to even be able to have my meds in the first place every month.

I also regularly puke when taking my meds because i choke on them and then i cant figure out which ones i need to take again.

Try puking (and cleaning up puke when you dont make it to the toilet in time) three times a week for months and see how much your appreciate your meds.

Im not considering stopping taking them at this time. But i will throw a little mental fit every night when i have to take 8 pills.

What a shitty hand.

Hi everyone

I’m thinking about inpatient programs but I’m terrified of picking the wrong one and having a hellish time

My ideal is where I can still have my phone, vape, and talk to my existing mental health professionals. Bonus points if I can check myself out

I’m not sure if I need to go or not, but it was recommended by a friend to look into it just in case

ETA: DFW is Dallas-Fort Worth

I see my OB on Thursday to get medicated but I’ve never felt so awful. Please tell me this is normal? I’m obsessing over certain subjects. All I want to do is have sex or listen to music. My partner finally told me he was tired. I cooked him dinner and meal prepped all his lunches today. I feel very rejected. I also don’t want to put him through this. It’s not fair to him. I just want him to leave and never come back. I feel so hopeless and completely out of control of my own mind.

I am diagnosed with bipolar 2. I have rapid cycling and was looking for medication management to treat my depressive episodes as I notice they are more frequent than my hypomanic ones.

This was a consultation with a psychiatrist, so he won’t stay my psychiatrist as he said it’s not common to have a psychiatrist forever, and you’d be lucky to find someone who would take you on as a long term patient.

Anyways,

He essentially said because I am not in a depressive episode, there is nothing to treat so no medication changes will happen as of right now.

His entire reasoning was if you change it now and never have a depressive episode again, was it because of the medication change or were you just never gonna have another one? So why change it now?

Also, he mentioned to me about stopping my medications. That the consensus with psychiatrists have changed to be so instead of forever taking medication, you’re on it for a few years before going off of it.

I just feel that the information given to me wasn’t correct. Bipolar is the type of disorder that can get worse without treatment like medication, so why would he recommend I eventually come off?

I’m not sure, maybe these are new practices but I wanted to see if anyone else has encountered this.

i'm freaking out. i'm having so CRAZY thoughts i've never had before. i reached out to the crisis line and told them the pg-13 version because i ain't about to have the cops swarming my house LOL. not that my thoughts are THAT bad, but i just don't wanna risk it, you know? i feel like they can track where i am. i shouldn't even have reach out honestly. i should have just kept this shit to myself. like who the fuck am i kidding, huh? why did i even tell anybody that shit. god, now i'm a fucking loon and someone else knows abojt it. worst of all, i used my real number associated with my account at my psych center. GREAT!!!!!!!!!

i'm losin it. i am absolutely losin it

please don't report me reddit mods or some other dumb shit. i ain't gonna do nothin LMFAO. everybody's safe around me, i swear. i don't have access to weapons. chill out, all you armchair true crimers who want to be the first on a case. this ain't one of those.

I don't just struggle with bipolar II, I'm also diagnosed with an anxiety disorder as well as ADHD and insomnia.

I feel like I'm experiencing so many issues and symptoms, and am on so many medications, that's I barely know what to do anymore. I'm so overwhelmed I feel like I'm nearing my breaking point.

I'm currently on 6 medications. Yes you read that right, I'm on 6. Every time I talk to my doctor about worsening symptoms or issues, it feels like he is more inclined to add new medications rather than adjust existing ones.

I'm going through a daily roller coaster where I feel fine and energized while my stimulant is in effect but feel such a big crash in my mood when it wears off. I'm having trouble adjusting to my sleep medication so it's hard for me to wake up. On top of that I feel like a separate one, although helping my anxiety, is causing a lot of emotional blunting. I also get tired by 7:30 pm a lot of days and I'm so fatigued I feel like I'm losing a big chunk of my time.

I have a supportive family, so I don't have to work while I figure this out. But I want to get back to living and I feel like I'm getting deeper and deeper into a hole and I can't see the way out anymore. I know I need to move up my psychiatrist appointment and bring these concerns to him, but I just want to feel better now. I'm just sick of the slog and I'm running low on hope right now.

Hi! So I happened to, I think, "crash" after working for the whole week with full shifts, causing me to feel too weak and unmotivated to get out of bed.

I use crash with quotations, because it's been less than a week, but I suddenly feel sooo much better. It feels like the meds are causing my depression and making me feel worse than I should. Because tell me why I only took it once instead of the usually twice, and I suddenly feel great?

I stayed up the whole night waiting for my favourite show's episode to premiere and I still have been awake since yesterday, but I don't feel tired at all! I'm able to just do what I want and was able to play games as I like.

I'm starting to think that the crash was just me exaggerating, or that the medicine was just burdening me. It's just been fucking up my mood so I'd feel tired when happy anyways so I'd rather enjoy it while it happens.

I want to see if anyone else's mood has suddenly went a full 180 after staying up a whole night. It feels like sleeping only makes me tired so I just want to enjoy my energy as I can :D

I just woke up and this isnt for advice i just need to rant. Yesterday night I started havring really paranoid intrusive thoughts, feeling like I was being watched and stuff and it really really scared me.

I have exirienced psychotic symptoms like that before and usually I can tell that they arent real. I could tell yesterday that they arent real too. Its just that the anxiety I felt was so bad. I know I should talk to someone but im genuinly too scared to.

Idk I havent expirienced something like this for at least two years and randomly experiencing it now that I have been on meds for a while is really confusing.

Hello! I hope everyone is doing well. I was just diagnosed with bipolar 2 today and I have been prescribed medication. I am looking for real life stories on what the experience has been like for you loving with bipolar 2 and what your journey was like. I guess I am feeling alone and feeling as if some stories would help me realize I am not alone in this. Thank you so much in advance!

Rn in my life i am stuck in the same loop again and again it's like a bird in a cage who feels like he can cure himself but falls back in the cage after failing and this continues till he dies in real life.i want friends who can listen to my story and help me who are like minded have bipolar.i have a exam in few months and I really wanna pass it , if I do it I'll be better and happy that i never did till now.it will make my mom proud, happy.

I have bipolar 1 with psychotic features with mania and mixed episodes. I can get deluded during mania.

But when I'm depressed, I feel less "out of it" that mania or hypomania makes me feel. I feel like I'm deluded in depression though. Like bipolar depression is not the same as regular depressive disorders.

I never used to see mania and depression as the same, as in they both make me deluded, just differently. I don't think I've ever experienced psychotic depression, but when I am severely depressed I start believing I'm a terrible person, bad at my job, bad at my hobbies - I can only pull negative thoughts, and they are delusions of why nothing matters at all, and questioning why I'm even trying. I start to think about all the bad things I've ever done (or perceived as bad), all my mistakes, etc.

I'm in a weird depressive episode right now, and its making me feel detached and just all over "off". I've never felt this way during depression before, where I feel slightly out of touch. I don't know how to describe it without it sounding like I'm decomposated when I'm not.

Maybe I'm in a mixed episode as I just abruptly ended a weekish long hypomanic episode. But I just keep breaking down in tears and see no point in living. But I'm too tired to act on any of my thoughts.

I see my psychiatrist tomorrow, and hes aware of my mood shft already. Idk if I'm just venting or just needed somewhere to put my thoughts. Today is a rough one.

I can tell you that I am a shit person. My husband is good in every way, I am the one with issues due to the trauma of my upbringing (and the genetics factor of Bipolar Disorder).

When we have arguments (which I commonly start coz I am the worst partner 😢), my husband calls me “crazy” like “damn, you actually are crazy”. It makes me feel that because I have this disorder, I am not allowed to be frustrated or react badly. That even if I do have a point, it doesn’t really matter coz I react in a “crazy” way. I can’t blame him though coz I am fucked up and crazy. It just makes me feel like I should not exist in this world coz what’s the point?

I don’t want you to say anything bad about my husband, he really is patient and perfect. He just hates when I raise my voice and becomes stubborn. But everytime it happens, it opens the dark room inside of me and it makes me want to off myself 😔

Lower cortisol and relax? Everyone tells me to knit or embroider but what has been of use to you?

When you are in full Mania and you are already conscious but how do you relax?

I'm just looking for more examples of people who really worked for them, thank you in advance

For anyone with mixed states, do you have any suggestions for how not to impulsively unfriend/disconnect from associates on media during mixed states? When I’ve had bipolar depression mixed with hypomania/mania, I’ve unfriended most of my Facebook friends and disconnected from all of my associates on LinkedIn.

I was diagnosed with BP1 in March of this year, following a 2 week long manic episode with psychotic symptoms. Hospitalized twice in that time span. Been hell ever since. Had bouts of insomnia, leading to month long depressive episode. Doing even the most basic task required an intense amount of energy.

Went back to my full time job during the summer, and have only been able to do the bare minimum in order to not get fired. On gold standard medication + stimulants for ADHD. Does it get better? I still don't really care about much, but feel incredible stressed and anxious at all times. Everything still feels like a chore.

I'm in therapy, try to see friends often, live with my girlfriend. I just don't care and don't see much of a future for myself. I want to want things so badly, but I can't bring myself to care about anything really. Does it get better from here?

My psychiatrist and my psychologist told me they prefer me when I'm maniac...

It hurt me. I know in mania I'm more talkative, more happy, more like a "normal person", but I hate it. I remember three maniac episodes, and in two of them I ended up at the psychiatric hospital, I didn't like it