I resent my meds so deeply. I hate them

[u/unnatural-_-disaster]

I have to take 10 pills every day to feel normal. To feel stable. And i have to do this for my entire life!!!!

And i was diagnosed at thirteen! Ive already been doing this shit for five years and im so sick of it. At least we have mostly figured out a cocktail that actually fucking works for me fairly early on.

Ill keep needing to regularly see a therapist and psychiatrist my whole life. I will need to pay a ridiculous amount of money to even be able to have my meds in the first place every month.

I also regularly puke when taking my meds because i choke on them and then i cant figure out which ones i need to take again.

Try puking (and cleaning up puke when you dont make it to the toilet in time) three times a week for months and see how much your appreciate your meds.

Im not considering stopping taking them at this time. But i will throw a little mental fit every night when i have to take 8 pills.

What a shitty hand.

[u/AutoModerator]

Thanks for posting on /r/bipolar, /u/unnatural-_-disaster!

Please take a second to read our rules; if you haven't already, make sure that your post does not have any personal information (including your name/signature/tag on art).

If you are posting about medication, please do not list and review your meds. Doing so will result in the removal of this post and all comments.

^{A moderator has not removed your submission; this is not a punitive action. We intend this comment solely to be informative.}

---

Community News

• 2024 Election

• 🎋 Want to join the Mod Team?

• 🎤 See our Community Discussion - Desktop or Desktop mode on a mobile device.

• 🏡 If you are open to answering questions from those that live with a loved one diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, please see r/family_of_bipolar.

Thank you for participating!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Mundane_Dingo_7578]

You might need some med adjustments
Go down on redundant pills
Find another doctor

[u/DogTheBreadFairy]

Why not take your pills in the bathroom or get a little bucket with a grocery bag inside to have beside you when you're taking them?

[u/Savannahks]

I gladly take all 7 of my meds everyday. I am so thankful for them. They have changed my life. I was so lost for many years. Life was too hard. I will take 100 pills if I can remain this stable. I see my psych every 3 months.

I think you need to ask about dissolving tablets or liquid form. Some compounding pharmacies can make them.

My meds make me nauseous so I asked for zofran. I take it every day.

[u/aphinion]

Are you choking on them because they’re large pills or because you’re taking more than one at a time?

[u/unnatural-_-disaster → u/aphinion]

I only take one at a time, but even if it's a tiny pill i sometimes choke. Im like 90% sure i have acid reflux because i have a super sensitive gag reflex in general and will puke when i burp or get the hiccups even sometimes.

[u/totallynot_a_dog → u/unnatural-_-disaster]

You should see a doctor about this. I know that’s unfortunately obvious, but they may be able to help figure out ways to make you not throw up the pills. Whether that being changing the form they come in or treating a possible underlying cause.

[u/unnatural-_-disaster → u/totallynot_a_dog]

I've spoken to my psychiatrist about it. I don't currently have a primary care physician since i am now 18 and no adult PCPs in my area with my insurance are currently taking patients.

[u/totallynot_a_dog → u/unnatural-_-disaster]

Damn, I know the feeling. Only new PCP I could find not booked into next year was a 30 minute drive.

Do you have any other acid reflux symptoms? If so, you can take OTC meds to see if that may help.

[u/CatholicFlower18 → u/unnatural-_-disaster]

Try taking each one with a little spoonful of pudding.

[u/unnatural-_-disaster → u/CatholicFlower18]

I actually tried this with jello and puked immediately. Eating anything with that sort of texture (yogurt, pudding, anything like that) makes me gag.

Even if the puking thing was not an issue, i would still resent the fact that i was cursed to take these pills every day

[u/Malevolent_Minds]

I've got five medications just for nausea, vomiting, and other GI issues due to severe gastritis and esophagitis, so I feel your pain. Since it all started REALLY flaring up [again] in June, I've had to reduce my meds to the bare minimum, and my episodes are far less controlled than before.

I'm on my third med change in recent history, and I've been on over 20 psych meds just in general. It's not fun, but it's a necessary evil when you have Bipolar Disorder. The other options are far less pleasant, trust me. I've been unmedicated BP, and I've been medicated BP. I'll take medicated any day.

It sucks. It really does. At least there are medications that can help us nowadays, though.

[u/Bumpers1]

I hate taking so many pills too. It's rough. Sometimes when I don't want to take them or if my stomachs a little upset I'll take them with a strong tasting liquid like Gatorade or something fruity. You can get those Mio drink flavors or crystal light powder works too if you're low on funds (Gatorade is expensive as heck now!) I've even taken a little candy in-between pills. Something small and chewy like skittles helps me. Just be sure to brush your teeth after that! I hope it gets better for you! I was diagnosed at 13 and now I'm 29! I think it gets better, it did for me at least. Bipolar is just something you have to manage. It's annoying but it's possible to manage. You can do it! Wishing you the best!

[u/Longjumping_Flow6578]

I thought you said 10