Hi all, just needed to vent a bit. My daughter is 2 years 8 months and we started trying for another in July when she was 2 years 6 months. I got pregnant the first time with my daughter, and this second time in July I got pregnant the first time as well. However, that ended in a miscarriage around 5 weeks. It was absolutely devastating. We decided to try again in August but didn't get pregnant. We tried again this month and still nothing. Now we are minimally going to have about a 3.5 year age gap and it's growing every month. I'm so worried about how close my kids will be, especially because we are only planning on having two kids. Anyone have experience with this and can calm my worries? It's so frustrating knowing I can get pregnant but haven't been able to since my miscarriage. And every month I get more and more worried about the age gap. Thanks everyone.

EDIT: Thank you all so much for your kind words. I really appreciate each and every one of you! I am taking solace in the fact that the larger age gaps don't seem to be too noticeable and that sibling closeness really depends on the kids and fostering the relationship. I am going to try and relax on that front and hope another little one comes soon :)

Been trying for a second since our son turned 1 in September. I’ve had irregular spotting during my luteal phase and was concerned about low progesterone, so I finally saw OBGYN last month. She decided to order an ultrasound to check for structural abnormalities. I had it yesterday and I got the results online, but she hasn’t messaged me yet about my options. The results showed a isthmocele from my c section. Basically it’s a pouch that can form on your uterus from the c section not heeling correctly. It can fill with blood during your period and cause irregular spotting, secondary infertility, ectopic pregnancy, placental issues.

I’m frustrated. I wanted a natural birth, but my son was breech and couldn’t be flipped during our version. I’ll probably require more testing and treatment is another surgery. It took us years to conceive our first. Why can’t I just catch a break?

Just that really. 12 cycles trying for number 2. All I’ve got to show for it is a chemical pregnancy this summer. I really thought I was in the running this month as I‘ve made it to dpo14 without AF showing up but no - not one but two BFNs this morning.

All tests so far normal. Had an appointment to discuss starting IVF earlier this week and now being told I have to have a hysteroscopy first, which is so frustrating.

WHY is this happening to me? Why can’t I do this? WHY is everyone else around me pregnant?

*screams into the void*

Spiraling a bit and putting this out there as a general PSA, because women's health isn't talked about enough and informed consent is imperfect.

I'm prepping for a FET after two rounds of IVF yielded only two precious, normal embryos.

I've had two previous c sections. One after a long TOL, and the second scheduled.

Since my second c section, my uterine lining is very thin. Even on heavy stims, we never got it past 6.2 mm. Now prepping for a FET, we're struggling to get it past 4 mm.

The RE said this may be the best my body can do, because c-sections can damage the underlying blood architecture feeding the uterine lining.

I did not know this was a risk of my c-sections. It sounds like an uncommon side effect, but I wish I had been informed when scheduling my second c-section. I would have been more adamant about trying a VBAC, because we'd always planned on 3 kids.

My transfer will probably be cancelled and our chances of success are plummeting since we can't reach a normal uterine lining even with estrogen.

I just want to get off this infertility ride. I'm so tired.

Last night we went to my husband's aunt's house for dinner and both his aunt and uncle separately told me it's time to have a second. The Aunt also mentioned that their daughter in law had three kids two years apart between each kid and so I can do that too.

What they don't know is that I took over a year and an RE to get pregnant with my son and I am currently on fertility drugs and just finished all the testing again at the RE. These people are actually very nice and I know they didn't mean any harm, so I just smiled both times and said, "we'll see." However, it took every ounce of self control for me to not say something snarky.

My in laws are in town and came to dinner with us so I had to pretend everything was fine until we got my son to bed and I could cry in the shower. I still feel upset about it this morning, but realize it's probably just the letrozole and thinking about it too much.

Anyways, if you got this far, thanks for listening to my rant. I just needed to get it off my chest to someone who understands.

Both of them had their firstborns a year after I had my first.

I threw one of these friends their baby shower for their first child - right after a chemical pregnancy, six months into trying for our second.

Now she’s pregnant AGAIN and I am still here frozen in time. A failed round of IVF behind me, too.

What is really throwing me is that they are both my age(39). In fact, one of them is turning 40 this month.

Doctors keep telling me I’m not getting pregnant because of my age. But people around me are getting pregnant at my age (and older). So what the fuck is wrong with me.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEEE ugh

I’m honestly so stressed out. Was in my 2WW and aunt flo came today so CD1 all over again. This will be our 5th cycle trying and i’m just exhausted. I keep wanting to try all the things.. pomegranate juice, i bought an oura ring (i wanted one anyway) but essentially to track my bbt because it was too hard for me to wake up to take it. Started prenatals and making my husband take a multivitamin and I just don’t know how to keep doing this. I feel like something’s wrong with me, my husband .. everything and i’m just not understanding what I need to do to conceive. I almost wanna reach out to my OB and ask what testing we can do even though i know it’s too early but anyways sorry for the long post i just wanted to vent and talk with others who are similarly going through what i am. thanks so much if you made it this far

I just feel like we’re falling behind. All our friends are either OAD or have a perfect 2 year gap between all their kids. It took us 22 months to conceive #1, and we have MFI but subfertility (some sperm). I feel like my poor husband has been on every supplement/ Mucinex/ diet under the sun, it’s not lifestyle related. I guess we’re going to move on to IUI and I’m just exhausted.

Hi all,

Just a whinge really. Coming to the end of my 10th failed cycle and I am feeling so drained, tired and depressed. I know it’s lucky that no problems have been picked up so far but the reality is that it’s just totally maddening. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!

I know in myself there is something clearly wrong. We are starting IVF in September and I just can’t believe it’s come to this. In the meantime I am *surrounded* by friends, acquaintances etc getting pregnant at the drop of a hat. IT’S NOT FAIR! I’ve done nothing to deserve this etc etc etc. In fact I’m killing myself over here, between OPKs, supplements, pessaries, blood tests, ultrasounds, acupuncture & therapy sessions…

Anyway just a scream into the void really. I’m sure lots of you can empathise & understand xx

As are many people on this forum, I am discouraged and upset. I’m 35, TTC for the second time and once again I’m facing month after month of failed attempts despite doing everything “right”. The last time we tried it took over 2 years and then ended up happening by fluke one month without even really trying right before submitting to the IVF waitlist. Of course this was welcomed, but maddening too. To try so hard for years only to have it happen on a month we weren’t trying, tracking or monitoring anything. I have no data to learn from that success. Now we’re at it again and I’m thrust back in to the disappointment and confusion each month. We’re waiting to hear back from the fertility clinic and then once again we’ll have to repeat all the tests and checkups. I’m grateful we have the ability to do this, but it’s also exhausting.

My luteal phase is too short. I start spotting in my luteal phase and then my period comes now on average day 9-10, this time the spotting from day 8 just turned into a period, so I guess it technically started day 8. Barely time for implantation to occur. And before you say “but it could!” Yes, but it hasn’t. It could happen again, for sure. But who is to say how long it will take?

Some people may find it insensitive what I’m about to say, because at least I have one child (and I am eternally grateful to the universe for this, trust me) but somehow the inability to conceive again is, if anything, worse this time. Because I know what I’m missing. I now know, in a way that I couldn’t (personally, not saying others couldn’t!) fully understand before, what is on the other side. I became a mother and confirmed that not only was it totally for me, but it’s the greatest joy of my life and I want to do it again and again and again. Only I can’t seem to. There’s this great void between the life I feel in my heart is for me and the dwindling time frame I have left to make this happen (and not just on my end…my husband is 8 years older than me. There is his own desires and timeline to consider as well).

When it became apart today that my bleeding was increasing rather than just spotting, I broke down. I’m not a religious person, but I scorned the universe as though it was sentient for denying me this. Am I unworthy? Why do some people try for one month and I try again and again. I know I am among the lucky ones to be given this gift at least once when many are never given that gift. I mourned for them to. For how unfair this process is. But, then again, I know life is unfair and probably meaningless. Just science and random luck and chance and variables. But last night I prayed to god(s) I don’t believe in and begged. This negative felt personal.

Anyways, for everyone who has found themselves in the same position as me or worse, I see you. I hear you. I feel you. I mourn with you. I hope with you

I wish I had known that having C-sections can cause secondary infertility. If I had known I would have pushed harder to try a vbac with my second or waited long enough to be a candidate for a vbac; only a month too early.

My first was an emergency C-section after developing HELLP syndrome so I know there was nothing I could have done to prevent that. However with our second, we got pregnant on the first try at 8 months postpartum. COMPLETELY to our shock because it took a year to get pregnant with our first. We assumed it would take roughly the same time so we decided to start trying early; hoping we would get pregnant around when our first was 18 months. Well things didn't go as planned and I was 17 months postpartum when I gave birth to our second, therefore not eligible for a vbac. I knew I could have pushed for one being so close to the 18 month requirement or found a doctor willing to let me try but I was so traumatized from my emergency C-section after 20 hours of labor that I was completely okay with the repeat C-section.

Fast forward to now being 21 months postpartum with our second and trying for our 3rd for the past 6 months. I feel so angry that I didn't do research into how the scarring could affect our ability to get pregnant again. I hadn't even ever heard of that being a thing until I started scrolling this sub. WHY is this not something we are educated about?? I feel like this would definitely change a lot of women's minds about opting for elective C-sections if they knew it could negatively affect their fertility in the future. I KNOW it would have changed my view.

I know 6 months is not a long time to try for a baby. I guess this post is just me venting/ranting about the lack of education when it comes to pregnancy and postpartum and all things women's bodies. It's so annoying how little we are taught about everything and how we have to go dig it up ourselves and fight for everything. I'm also just struggling with mourning an age gap I pictured for my children, the life I pictured for our family, so many things. Now that I've written this out I feel stupid for even being upset when I know women are struggling to even have one child and I should be grateful that I have two beautiful, healthy children. And trust me I am. But I'm also sad and frustrated and sick of hyping myself up thinking I'm pregnant every month just to see a negative test and finding out that my C-section scars are most likely the culprit.

I guess I need a place to vent and or get others experiences. I’m 39. My husband and I have been TTC baby #3 for 6 months. I had my first at 35 and my second at 37. Our first was a surprise after 2 months of simply stopping protection and then it took 7 months of tracking meticulously to conceive our second. I know the 6 month mark was hard when TTC our second and its proving to be so again. I know so many women get pregnant at 40+ but I’m worried it won’t happen again. I feel like I see the two ends of the spectrum when it comes to TTC at 40+. I see the women who get pregnant and stay pregnant quickly or I see the women who take assistance and/or go through many losses. If it took you between 6 months and 18 months at 40+ can you share your story? I think I just need some encouragement right now!

How do you respond to family/friends who ask when you’re going to have another? I recently had a miscarriage and was then told by a fertility clinic pretty much my only chance is IVF. Today I went to my nephews birthday party and was asked by multiple people about when will we have another? I felt like crying and or screaming each time, but maybe I should say we aren’t going to have another so I don’t have to deal with people asking.

First cycle on Letrozole and I was feeling really hopeful. We’ve been trying for a while, and I finally saw a doctor a few weeks ago to get some help.

But… it takes two hands to clap. 😭 My husband gets stressed easily and unfortunately wasn’t able to perform during my fertile window.

Usually I tell him in advance when I’m likely to ovulate so he can mentally prepare, but this cycle Letrozole seemed to bring ovulation forward by a few days.

I got a positive OPK yesterday at 5pm.

We tried yesterday but failed, and again this morning (supposedly ovulation day), but he was too stressed too.. so failed again. We’ll try again tonight, but that feels like our REALLY last chance this cycle. 😪

I’m honestly so sad and frustrated. Maybe I have better follicles this cycle because of Letrozole, but… THERE’S NO SPERM. 😭

I still have progesterone medication to take after ovulation, but now I’m honestly reluctant to start it if we can’t manage to have sex tonight either.
I know it’s not really his fault and I don’t want to pressure him, but it’s just so heartbreaking after putting in all this effort and then potentially missing the window..

Anyone else been through this? How did you deal with it?

My positive OPK was yesterday at 5pm.. will I miss the window if baby dance tonight at 11pm? 🥹🥹 this feeling sucks.

This is just so hard.
We got pregnant with my first perfect, amazing child the first time we tried after getting married. We got pregnant a second time after trying once, which sadly ended in a missed miscarriage. That adds a layer of sadness that’s hard to overcome.
We’ve been trying again now for six months. I know that doesn’t seem like a long time to some people, but for us, it feels like it’s never going to happen. I’m 38. I can practically feel my eggs drying up by the second.
I want to scream every time someone says, “Stop stressing, it will happen.” I want to die every time someone says, “You have time,” because I’m quite certain that time is slipping away.
I feel so guilty that I can’t give my child a sibling, or give my husband and myself another baby to love. It feels like I’m in a constant state of extreme sadness that only deepens every month.
It’s this constant cycle of: Okay, next month it is. Then, I know it worked this time. Then, Is this implantation bleeding? Nope. It’s my period.
This heartbreak sucks, and it feels so isolating. I know it may seem insignificant to other people, but it feels so huge to me and my husband.

I don’t know what I’m looking for with this post other than needing to vent.

My partner and I have been ttc baby #2 for 7 cycles now and I’m just feeling so defeated.

For our first, we conceived first try and I naively thought it would be as easy second time.

Postpartum, my hormones have been so messed up - my son is now just over 2 and the stress of the age gap we wanted just continuing to grow is killing me.

Starting around cycle 6, I started taking inositol, vitex, and omega 3’s on top of my prenatal and magnesium supplements. The inositol and vitex have lessened my premenstrual spotting and lengthened my luteal phase (cycles were down to 25 days, now back up to 27), but still no luck conceiving.

I really thought this would be our cycle; I’m still waiting for AF to come but I had a BFN this morning at 14 dpo. Where I live, there’s no chance for any fertility testing until we’ve been trying for a year. I just feel so stuck.

Secondary infertility is the f’n worst.

Currently feeling a bit deflated after my period arrived just 6 days after I apparently ovulated. Apparently breastfeeding could be the cause.

It took us many years to conceive our son, eventually with fertility drug letrezole to help ovulation and regulate periods. I'm almost 36 and we'd really like to have another baby. Since my periods returned 6 months post partum I've ovulated naturally 5 times but have had a ridiculously short luteal phase of about 6-7 days. We did try giving him formula in the day for a couple of months and my luteal phase did lengthen but I didn't get pregnant and I missed the closeness and convenience of breastfeeding in the day so went back. Given letrezole fixed the issue last time it's likely to be a good route to try this time. However it can't be taken whilst breastfeeding.

Our son is nearly a year old now and I thought we'd be well on our way to weaning off the boob but he's showing no sign of stopping anytime soon. He's recently learnt to sign for milk which makes it even harder to say no. He eats lots of solids, 3 big meals, and milk in the day and still wakes up once at night for a feed. I'd say he's having 4-6 feeds a day, though not always big feeds. I only give him milk when he asks. Recently he was ill and I was reminded how useful breastfeeding is for soothing a poorly baby.

I'm not expecting the internet to tell me what to do but would love to hear from others in similar predicaments or who made a decision like this. Given it took us years to conceive I'm hesitant to delay but at the same time I could be prematurely stopping our bf journey with no pregnancy to show for it for many years.

I am constantly feeling in between gratefulness for my child and a deep longing/grief for my second child. I had an ectopic pregnancy in march 2025 and thought we would conceive again by now but turns out IVF is our only option as the HSG showed my remaining tube is closed.

I feel so so sad and angry and feel like everyone else gets to have their 2 children (or more) and im left behind. I am happy for others but constantly feel like they have what I want. Im always wondering if there's a reason I cant have my baby while everyone else gets theirs. Its so hard and there's no one in real life who gets it or is going through this so I come to reddit to find people who understand/can relate and feel less alone.

Just sharing my sadness as I got my period tonight on my fourth letrozole cycle. Also have tried IVF and IUI. We just want a second child so badly.

I am 39 and had my first at 36. I never thought I’d have this much trouble having another.

Just looking for compassion and encouragement. We are about to do another round of IVF but after that I’m not sure what’s next.

Technically we have been trying for 3 years for a 2nd! 1 year in i got pregnant spontaneously but that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and ectopic rupture simultaneously (heterotopic pregnancy). That was Dec 2024. Almost 2 years later, 3 IUI and 1 IVF egg retrieval later, it looks like its just not in the cards for us to have a 2nd.

We are from Canada and went to Czech to do IVF. I am turning 35 this week and my husband is 37. Unexplained infertility. Egg retrieval really went as bad as it could. They retrieved 6 eggs only 3 mature and out of those 3, one made it to blast. Now we wait 3 weeks to find out pgt results.

I honestly am in disbelief that this is my life. I pictured having two back to back and my 1st born is almost 4 now. How cruel life can be.

My SIL and I got pregnant with our 2nd the same time and she had an uneventful pregnancy and has a beautiful son. I love my nephew but everytime I see him it reminds me of what I lost out on.

Unfortunately if this one doesn't work out we will just be OAD. I am just done with all of this. I can't do this anymore but I am having a really hard time coming to terms with a one child life. My husband seems to be completely content and happy with just one. Its not that I am not fulfilled but I do have this ache in my heart about the family I envisioned and can't have. I think I need therapy.

Officially reached the 12 cycle mark with not a single positive test. I truly cannot believe this has been my journey.

Our first took 13 cycles, miraculously pregnant just before going to a fertility specialist. I cannot believe the second time will be even longer. I truly thought because we went through this the first time, the second one will happen much quicker. That's what you always hear. But no.

I have done all the blood tests, ultrasounds (I did a saline patency test last time and was clear) but guess I'll have to do that again. Husband has done blood tests and semen analysis, all clear. Age 35. I just don't understand what is going on.

Fertility specialist next month. Starting to think IVF will be the only answer (I ovulate every month so surely medication/IUI isn't going to improve my chances much?).

I'm just so sad, so sick of this constant weight on my shoulders. The confusion of not understanding why this is happening. Of not understanding why everyone else I know falls pregnant so easily. Of seeing the age gap get bigger and bigger. Of feeling like an absolute failure and how trying to fall pregnant has already taken 2 years of my life away.

Just venting…
I know the title is not true, but today certainly feels like it.

Just received news this week of another friend who is pregnant. I have been wanting a third child for 3 years. Within the 3 years I have had 20+ ladies in my life who have gotten pregnant & had children. Some of those women are on their second pregnancy since then.

I just want to be pregnant so badly… 😭

Age 39.5, conceived first son easily at 35. Now been TTC #2 for 1.5 years. We are entering second IVF retrieval in a few weeks.

Even though I’ve been TTC for awhile, I only recently started looking into supplements and lifestyle shifts I could make to improve egg quality (I have low AMH and my last egg retrieval got no healthy eggs).

I always considered myself fairly healthy. But oh my gosh, some of the advice out there will make you feel terrible about yourself.

I try to only listen to true doctors, but sometimes even that feels like a lot - between the recommended diet, sleep guidelines (I work overnights and have a toddler so lol there), and supplements…it will all make you feel like you’re never doing enough.

My own doctor at my clinic says “everything in moderation.” But now I feel like a jerk for not having a strict diet the last year or so of TTC. Plus not getting sleep. Plus only recently starting supplements.

Just a vent!! Anyone else feel overloaded with info?

Hi there! I need to vent to people who understand me and possibly get some encouragement from this group because no one in my immediate circle of friends and family really gets me. Even my therapist is just saying “relax and things will happen”… So here goes:

My husband (44M) and I (38F) have a perfect 4yo daughter and are now trying for a second. The whole fertility journey has been rather difficult. It started with a 13 week missed miscarriage in 2020, followed by another early miscarriage in 2021 and then my successful pregnancy. When my daughter was 2.5-3 we decided to start trying again for a second. I got pregnant twice in 2025 and both times it resulted in a missed miscarriage at week 7-8. Every time we go to the doctor for a week 6 scan, he sees a heartbeat and then on the next scan it has stopped. I have had to take Misoprostol for all three missed miscarriages and deal with the aftermath at home (the one at 13 weeks was a dooozy! It was a mini birth but in your toilet by yourself…quite traumatizing…sorry for the TMI). After this second one my doctor referred me to a fertility specialist (btw we live in France). He basically told me that probably IVF won’t help me much because I seem to get pregnant easily and my problem is the quality of the material (all tests came back fine). I asked whether some genetic testing of the embryos will help (they don’t do this in France but we can go to Spain if we want to go this route) and he told me that with my low AMH (around 0.5-0.6), there is a big chance we won’t get that many eggs out to be choosy I the first place. So basically he told me that because of this and given how often I get pregnant, my chances of a miscarriage with IVF are essentially the same as natural conception.
Now fast forward another 6-7 months of trying, I had 1 chemical pregnancy in April this year and it seems I am currently going through another one (no period but tests are super faint at 14DPO). I am losing hope and weirdly I am starting to get “one and done” content on Instagram all the time and trying to convince myself that having just one is perfectly fine…any advice or words of encouragement are welcome!

2 years TTC — secondary infertility 💔

I had my son in 2020 with no issues. In 2024, we started trying for baby #2. I got pregnant the first month but miscarried at 8 weeks.

Since then, all our testing has come back normal. Tubes open, sperm good, regular cycles, and I ovulate monthly. My first IUI resulted in a chemical pregnancy, my second failed, and I’ve had 3 failed cycles with Clomid/timed intercourse and progesterone. Changed doctors did 2 cycles with him just progesterone.

I’m now 34 with an AMH of 2.83. My doctor wants me to try another IUI, but I’m self-pay and spending $1,500–$2,000 per cycle. I can use that money towards IVF

Would you keep trying IUIs or move on to IVF? I’m so overwhelmed and don’t know what to do. 😩💔