Torn between breastfeeding and TTC

[u/ellefallsoffthings]

Currently feeling a bit deflated after my period arrived just 6 days after I apparently ovulated. Apparently breastfeeding could be the cause.

It took us many years to conceive our son, eventually with fertility drug letrezole to help ovulation and regulate periods. I'm almost 36 and we'd really like to have another baby. Since my periods returned 6 months post partum I've ovulated naturally 5 times but have had a ridiculously short luteal phase of about 6-7 days. We did try giving him formula in the day for a couple of months and my luteal phase did lengthen but I didn't get pregnant and I missed the closeness and convenience of breastfeeding in the day so went back. Given letrezole fixed the issue last time it's likely to be a good route to try this time. However it can't be taken whilst breastfeeding.

Our son is nearly a year old now and I thought we'd be well on our way to weaning off the boob but he's showing no sign of stopping anytime soon. He's recently learnt to sign for milk which makes it even harder to say no. He eats lots of solids, 3 big meals, and milk in the day and still wakes up once at night for a feed. I'd say he's having 4-6 feeds a day, though not always big feeds. I only give him milk when he asks. Recently he was ill and I was reminded how useful breastfeeding is for soothing a poorly baby.

I'm not expecting the internet to tell me what to do but would love to hear from others in similar predicaments or who made a decision like this. Given it took us years to conceive I'm hesitant to delay but at the same time I could be prematurely stopping our bf journey with no pregnancy to show for it for many years.

[u/LymanForAmerica]

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[u/Ok-Committee-6186]

I didn’t have trouble with conceiving my first so this might not be exactly the same, but I was having trouble getting pregnant a second time because of breastfeeding. I had 4 cycles where my period started by 4-5dpo and nothing I did fixed it. I told my obgyn who prescribed me vaginal progesterone starting at 2dpo. The first cycle it didn’t work, the second my luteal phase was full length again. My first baby is still breastfeeding 4 times a day and this third cycle it also worked perfectly. Not a doctor and don’t know for sure that it would work with prior fertility issues but I would definitely ask your doctor about it!

[u/ellefallsoffthings → u/Ok-Committee-6186]

Interesting, I'll make a note of progesterone, thanks! I've asked to be referred to the fertility clinic. I'm in the UK so we don't have dedicated OBGYN, have to go to my general doctor and get a referral. But they have said I qualify for referral given my previous history so that's promising.

[u/berrymars → u/Ok-Committee-6186]

Hi! Which dose are you on? I am on 200mg every evening. Still waiting to see if it will work or not 🙏🏻

[u/Ok-Committee-6186 → u/berrymars]

I am on 200mg vaginally every evening. Wishing you the best of luck!

[u/berrymars → u/Ok-Committee-6186]

Thank you and best of luck to you too! I was a bit sceptical to start progesterone due to still breastfeeding but lets hope it works

[u/999cranberries]

Progesterone suppositories have also been making my luteal phase go from 5 days to 12 days while breastfeeding. I'm heartbroken at the thought of stopping breastfeeding for TTC. I really want my child to wean naturally on his own terms.

[u/A_Z27 → u/999cranberries]

Can you take progesterone suppositories while breastfeeding?

[u/Ok-Committee-6186 → u/A_Z27]

The mini pill is the most common birth control for postpartum women that are breastfeeding and it’s just a progesterone supplement. Totally safe!

[u/Alijanora → u/A_Z27]

My ob-gyn said definitely not.

[u/millennial_anxiety87 → u/Alijanora]

I think you can- Mine prescribed them to me knowing I was breastfeeding (it was explicitly addressed multiple times that I was actively breastfeeding while TTC, so i know she didn’t just forget or wasn’t paying attention to my chart). I used them for 6 months while breastfeeding through finally weaning after my daughter turned 2. (Plus progesterone only birth control is widely considered safe for breastfeeding)

[u/Alijanora → u/millennial_anxiety87]

I checked different sources and it looks like even specialists cannot find common agreement 🤷 When I checked mine (I took Utrogestan - micronised progesterone), it is not recommended at all, as it is naturally derived progesterone and data are limited. In case it is necessary because of acute health issue, then usage as suppositories is used (oral intake should be avoided). On the other hand, synthetic progesterone in preconception pills is ok and generally recommended.

Probably it depends on experience of Dr. and concrete medicine.

As I said, my ob-gyn said definitely not, therefore I had to wait till I stopped breastfeeding and then I got it to fix my progesterone.

[u/A_Z27 → u/millennial_anxiety87]

Interesting!! Did you get pregnant while taking the progesterone suppositories?

[u/millennial_anxiety87 → u/A_Z27]

I did! First time, it was a loss. But my daughter was starting to self wean at the time, and as soon as I got pregnant, I think my milk taste changed and she started refusing, so I took her lead and we stopped. But i was on progesterone at that time. Took the progesterone from right after ovulation until the pregnancy was confirmed as a loss. Then (TW) we tried again immediately after the loss and got pregnant again 2nd cycle. I’m currently 7 weeks, so still tbd about what’s going to happen, but so far, so good. But my daughter has now been fully weaned for 3 months now, so I’m sure that helped. I didn’t want to risk stopping the progesterone to see what my body was doing after weaning (and my OB & RE both advised to keep taking it)

[u/A_Z27 → u/millennial_anxiety87]

So sorry to hear about your loss. That makes sense about your milk changing! Congratulations ❤️

[u/999cranberries → u/A_Z27]

Maybe not every doctor would be willing to prescribe them, but I feel comfortable using them while breastfeeding.

[u/MammothOk57]

I think it’s worth trying for now while you decide what you want to do. For one of my kids, I was able to start weaning by saying “later” or “not now” and offering other food in the meantime. So I was stretching the time between nursing sessions. It’s hard to end breastfeeding if you both enjoy it, but it is also ok to do it if you want to at any time as well. I’m not sure you technically qualify for secondary infertility yet, but you could make an appointment with an RE, and see what their advice is given your history. I ended up doing IVF for my third, but my first two were conceived naturally after age 35.

[u/ellefallsoffthings → u/MammothOk57]

Yeah the fact we both really enjoy it is that hardest part I think. I think I will go back to bottles in the day, and maybe some snacks now he's almost 1, with just bedtime and morning nursing and see if that helps.

[u/CheesecakeExpress]

I don’t have any advice but am in the same boat. I’m 40 so really pushed to think about number 2. I’m also in the Uk so paid for a private OB appointment and he said to stop feeding and see if that helps. I know I need to but I don’t know how!

[u/canoe4you]

I made the decision to extend breastfeeding my youngest over getting pregnant quicker. I worked my butt off triple feeding her for several months to get my supply up - so much blood sweat and tears that I don’t want to wean until she’s ready. I also already have 4 kids and could be absolutely content with what I already have vs one more baby.

I was able to get pregnant quickly with my youngest while I was still breastfeeding my then 2 year old 2x a day. This time around I had been trying for awhile and definitely producing a lot more milk but 0 night feedings and it hasn’t happened yet and I feel like that must be the reason even though I am ovulating regularly but not producing much CM. I dropped my youngest down to 2x a day one cycle ago so we will see if that helped soon.

[u/FrequentCelery6076]

I conceived on letrozole for baby 2. Similar to you, I can’t start it without weaning. My girl has been very vocal about her boob needs. Eventually, I pushed past 2 years breastfeeding simply cause she would cry if we talk about weaning. At this point, it is purely for comfort. My supply wasn’t high anymore.

What eventually worked was me recognizing that I’ve yet to lose my baby weight and being severely overweight might also affect TTC so I went on the Korean switch on diet. It was a little extreme and suddenly, I noticed I’ve completely dried up. After that, it took her 1 week of denial before she completely weaned. I took letrozole once she fully weaned.

[u/ellefallsoffthings → u/FrequentCelery6076]

Gosh I definitely don't want to still be breastfeeding at 2 (at least I don't think I do!) maybe I should quit now as sounds like it's only going to get harder!

I've got lean PCOS so thankfully weight loss is not an issue for me. I have cut the chocolate habit though and gone back to using inositol.

[u/Big_Vanilla_1969]

I also conceived my first with letrozole. My luteal phase is at around 10 days when it used to be 14, and I may ask my OB for progesterone. I’m not ready to wean either but we had 3 losses before my daughter, so we’re anticipating another tough road

[u/ellefallsoffthings → u/Big_Vanilla_1969]

Yes same with the losses and tough road. I am kind of expecting it to be hard but also trying to have a different mindset this time round. I still feel incredibly lucky to have my beautiful boy so don't want to get too sucked in to TTC heartache again, though it feels inevitable

[u/witty-kittty]

If you can afford it, I would try acupuncture and see if they can help lengthen your luteal phase without weaning. It helped me lengthen my luteal phase when trying to conceive our second, I wasn’t currently breastfeeding, but I had recently weaned and my cycles were still not regular. I saw someone who specializes in fertility/women’s hormones and it was the only thing that worked for me. I tried everything else natural (increasing vitamin c, etc) and nothing worked but acupuncture

[u/LemonLoaf0960]

No advice just solidarity. I'm 36 now and my son is almost a year old as well. He took two years to come so I didn't want to wait too long before TTC #2. We started TTC in January and my luteal phase has also been incredibly short (5-6 days). I've been slowly weaning one feed at a time since January, hoping it would help, but it didn't. I fully weaned two weeks ago and am praying my LP lengthens. Now that I'm not breastfeeding, I will go on progesterone suppositories. The slow wean did help me with the transition and I'm doing okay mentally. You could try a slow transition and see how you do with that. I kept my night and morning feeds as the last ones as those we my favourite for bonding. All the best to you on this journey

[u/ellefallsoffthings → u/LemonLoaf0960]

Thank you. Sounds like we're on similar paths. I think I will go back to slowly phasing it out. It's strange, I was convinced I'd stop at 6 months, then 10 months... But I keep delaying as he still feels more like a baby then a toddler.

[u/ineedausername84]

While I would love to breastfeed past a year I have decided we will go until a year and if not pregnant by then we will wean to increase fertility 😩

it’s such a tough decision, I feel ya. With my first I weaned at 9 months to get my cycle back and it still took almost a year to conceive my second. Part of me regrets stopping early since it still took so long but another part of me knows if I didn’t wean early it could have taken even longer and I’d always wonder if it could have happened sooner if I weaned, so in the end I feel like it was the right choice for us.

[u/ellefallsoffthings → u/ineedausername84]

That's the hard part isn't it, the not knowing. So much of TTC feels out of our control. I think we will start to slowly wean over the next few months. Starting with daytime feeds.

[u/pronetowander28]

You could cut down a bit more on feeds, like 3 a day?

[u/millennial_anxiety87]

Interesting! I’ll have to look at the specific one I was prescribed, but it definitely was a suppository.

[u/KaleidoscopeTop8325]

Unlike you, I had no period at all while breastfeeding (even though baby self-weaned at night at only a few months old). So I had to fully wean in order to TTC. Weaned at 18 months and my period returned after 6 weeks. Luteal phase was short initially but lengthened quickly as my hormones regulated.

[u/No-Fox-5020]

Hi I wanted to share my experience in the hope it helps someone! My period came back when my daughter had just turned 1. I tracked my cycle straight away in the hopes of baby #2. My daughter loves breastfeeding (literally all hours of the day and night!) so giving up wasn’t an option for me. It’s super comforting for her. I read online that taking vitamin b6 (100mg) daily helped with short luteal phase - my luteal phase for the first 3 months was 4 days, 6 days, 6 days! As soon as I took the vitamin b6 for 1 month my next luteal phase changed to 13 days!! I should add that I also took a vitamin b complex and vitamin c for optimal vitamin absorption. Anyway, it worked! I got pregnant on the second cycle after taking the vitamins. Still breastfeeding throughout the night and every few hours during the day. You shouldn’t have to give up either, good luck to you :)

[u/ellefallsoffthings → u/No-Fox-5020]

Thank you! I'll look into into vitamins!

[u/Fun_Pollution_3149]

I was struggling with the same choice recently! My daughter will be 1 in a few weeks and we’ve been TTC since my cycle came back in January. The first 2 cycles my luteal was only 3-4 days, and I tried cutting back on nursing. She ended up going through a growth spurt and getting sick the past few weeks so I ended up actually nursing way more than usual, like 8 times in 24 hours including one in the middle of the night. I figured I was out for this month, but tried anyway and got a vvfl today on 10dpo! I think my body just needed a few cycles to get back to normal. I don’t have any advice for you, just wanted to say time seemed to fix it for me. When I was asking around, everyone said I would have to stop. Just wanted to give you some hope that not everyone needs to wean

[u/ellefallsoffthings → u/Fun_Pollution_3149]

Thank you! We're in a similar position this month where baby is sick and nursing loads more than I had planned so this gives me some hope!

[u/Ok-Preparation-1132]

It’s horrible choosing between your current child and a future potential child, I really do feel your pain. It’s positive your cycles have returned while breastfeeding, which doesn’t always happen at all, so I would probably try night weaning before you totally stop. Maybe cut the night feed entirely or offer a bottle of milk instead. Often a large break overnight is enough to tip things in your favour 🙏🏼

[u/TinyBirdie22]

I’m in a similar boat. My LO is 13 months and we started trying when she turned 1. My period came back 9 months PP. My first two cycles were very light, 28 day cycles (long for me, actually; my cycle has been 23 days for years) and then a 38 day cycle and then a 13 day cycle. It’s hard to know if it’s irregular because I’m still nursing (4x/day plus occasionally overnight, although I don’t know how much she gets anymore) or because I’m 42. I don’t want to wean, but there really isn’t time to waste if nursing is affecting my fertility. If I’m having normal luteal phases (this cycle seems normal so far; I’m 9 DPO and ovulated on day 14), could my fertility still be affected? I told myself I would wean by 15 months if I wasn’t pregnant yet, but I don’t know. That seems so soon.