My post was removed from another subreddit so let me just say, I am NOT trying to get other people to tell me whether or not they think I’m pregnant, just honestly curious: How early and how did you know? Was it a feeling or a symptom?

(I did a search but didn’t find similar discussions, please forgive if redundant.)

How are you deciding on an end date or hard line of when you will stop trying? I can’t keep going like this until menopause, it will do my head in (it already is).

As title states. Looking to chat with others dealing with the same sadness and disappointment and how you are dealing with it. I have two beautiful children aged 9 and (soon to be) 6 who I am beyond grateful for. But I thought that age gap was pushing it (though alas, it is all good and well). We have been ttc our third for a year now and at this point, even if we conceived this cycle the age gap would be 10 and nearly 7 and it’s starting to feel like the moment is passing but I wish desperately that it wasn’t. To be completely honest, I’d love 4 but looking like we may not even get to 3 and I’m struggling with mourning the age gaps and closeness I had imagined and hoped for for my children. I’m also wondering if it’s just too unfair to a third at this point to be so removed from the closeness and shared experiences of my current children. Worst thing is, I have encouraged others in this area but I myself am also struggling. I have 1 brother 10 years younger than me and we have no relationship. This is not what I want for my children. Who’s sitting in this sadness with me? What has helped? Did you choose not to keep TTC purely for the reason of a large age gap?

Title is a bit rhetorical since I know this is not uncommon! I just feel like so many posts here say "I conceived my first child easily" and I cannot relate. My first took 12 cycles and a hysteroscopy. I'm currently going on cycle 9 while TTC #2 and have had two CPs and a polypectomy. I know that is not long in the scheme of things but I'd love to conceive on the first time sometime, ya know? I was naively hopeful I'd be one of those people who struggled to conceive #1 and then easily conceived #2, but alas.

Seeking advice from anyone who has had a disagreement with their partner over whether or not to do fertility treatments (IUI or IVF).
Been TTC for 18 months with 0 positives at age 40(F), 43 (M). My husband feels IUI or IVF is unnatural and just wants to continue trying naturally. After completing all testing our RE recommended IUI back in January but we’ve been at a standstill since then. We have optimized our lifestyles as much as possible so the logical next step to me is fertility treatments before time runs out. I’m in therapy to work through my anxiety about infertility and this issue but if anyone has been through something similar I’d appreciate the advice.

My husband and I have a 3 (almost 4)- year-old daughter and have been trying for over a year for another baby. Every time I get my period, I want to curl up in a ball and cry. I am 40, he is 30, and we have both been checked out by our doctors and found no major issues. He had a sperm analysis that came back normal. I had an ultrasound, which looked normal. I have had labwork, only thing that was slightly low was my AMH, but it was still within normal limits (not low enough that my doctor thought it needed to be addressed). I have hypothyroidism and have recently switched from levothyroxine to a desiccated thyroid (I've been taking levo for years, and it never really seemed to manage my thyroid well). I use the Inito device to track my hormones and have consistently had LH surges, and every month the test says "ovulation confirmed." My diet is not perfect, but I'm consistently working on lowering carbs and refined foods, eating more protein and good fats, and decreasing my caffeine intake. I do not drink alcohol. Is it my age? Is it our timing? Is there something I'm missing? If anyone has any insight, advice, or just a kind word, I'm very down right now and feeling very defeated.

Hello all,

I’m currently 12DPO and have plans to test tomorrow morning. Does anyone else feel overwhelmed at the thought of taking a test? This is my 8th cycle trying for our 2nd. It feels like the test just won’t ever turn positive and I get myself worked up into a pretty nasty headspace leading up to my testing day.

ok, so straight to it..I have been keeping all the stuff (stroller, bouncer, bibs, clothes, etc) from my previous children (boy and girl) in hopes of number 3. Unfortunately, it’s now been -years- and the accumulation of items is basically taking over my basement at this point. I am in a huge decluttering kick right now and so much of me wants this space cleared out but that little shimmer of hope keeps me holding onto it “just in case”. Other than the obvious of saving money, the idea of my children all having been in the same bouncer, etc is very appealing to my sentimental heart. However, I don’t believe it’s good for any of the family for me to be holding onto boxes of stuff like this. Have you experienced this too and how did you part with it all?

My LO is currently around 18 mo and I’m still breastfeeding, so my period hasn’t returned yet. I’d like to do baby led weaning if at all possible, but we’d also like to get pregnant sooner rather than later. I tracked my ovulation to help with first pregnancy, but haven’t been able to get a positive LH surge, so I don’t really know if or when I’m ovulating.
Anyone have any experience or advice? TIA❤️

I am 34 years old and have one baby. She was also a preemie for context. She came 6 1/2 weeks early and I’m thinking about not delaying it too much to start for another baby given my age.

Curious about your experiences

TTC has been so hard lately, and honestly, I feel like I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. 🥹

Has anyone experienced a sudden shift in ovulation day or a shortened luteal phase after previously having regular cycles? Did it eventually return to normal, and how long did it take?

I’ve been trying to conceive since January, but only started using ovulation kits in April. In April, I was using a digital ovulation kit but couldn’t catch any surge. I’m not sure if I was too stressed or anxious about TTC at the time. I switched to OPK strips in May, and in both April and May, my positive OPK was around CD 12–14, with a 14-day luteal phase.

Then in June, my cycle was really disrupted, probably after a bad flu. Since then, I’ve been ovulating around CD17, and my luteal phase has shortened to around 8–10 days. It’s been worrying me, especially since we’re TTC.

I’m currently 8 DPO and started having brownish-red discharge today. I was really hoping either to get a good news this cycle or at least have a longer luteal phase. 💔

My TTC deadline is the end of this year, so I’m starting to feel like my time is running out. 🥹 I’m 35 and my son is already 5 this year.. I haven’t actually been as stressed or anxious lately, so I’m not sure what’s causing the change. 😭

I am curious if anyone changed their approach when trying for another baby. The first time I feel like I spent so much time reading about every tracking method and trying to do everything right. This time I am wondering if people tend to keep things simple or if you found yourself tracking even more than before?

It's like a switch flicks at 7dpo. My brain won't rest. Symptoms everywhere and nowhere, all at once. Anyone else in this sticky stage of the tww?

We're taking a 2-night trip away tomorrow and I cannot wait. The only solution is distraction 😵‍💫

We've been TTC for baby #2 for 9 months now. I'm 30 and my partner is 33, both non-smokers, non-drinkers, exercise regularly, eat healthy 90% of the time. I've had my 21 day bloods done and all came back perfect, partner has semen analysis booked in for next month. I'm aware that anything up to 12 months is considered "normal" but it only took 2/3 cycles to conceive my son (he's now 3).

Feeling like I'm losing hope - currently in the TWW and losing my marbles!

Tried OPKs, using BBT with thermometer and now Apple Watch (tracked via Natural Cycles). Also tried the "relaxed" approach where we didn't track anything - just had intercourse every other day from the my period end day.

I did have a C-section with my little boy, my over-thinking brain is thinking could that have caused complications? Are there any other tests I can have done in the meantime to rule anything out?

I am very aware that we're lucky to have a beautiful son already, but he is so ready for a sibling and would make the best big brother. I'm also extremely aware that 9 months is nothing compared to some people, so I don't want to appear insensitive!

Success stories and positivity please, sending love and baby dust to you all...... 👶❤️

Thinking of trying for another and would so love a little girl (but of course any baby is a blessing). I know the science doesn’t support any gender sway BUT hit me with your tried and tested ways for a baby girl 🎀

My first month trying letrozole but I ovulate regularly around day 14 every month. I’m curious if I should expect an early ovulation. My dr said to take it from cd2-6. I plan to track my lh with Inito and ovulation strips so I’m just curious as we will be out of town next weekend and trying to prepare myself and plan.

Guess I am posting this to see if anyone else is in the same boat.

I just turned 29 and my husband is 36.

I fell pregnant in 2020 rather easily (not trying but also not preventing).

Fast forward to today and we have been trying for about 27 months, no protection used at all since 2020 and have never gotten a positive test.

I had an hycosy done last month- no blockages.

My thyroid antibodies are at 400 (previously they were at 1200 then 600) so slowly dropping and my TSH is at 2.08 however my doctor won’t put me on any medication as the TSH is fine?

My husbands sperm is good, the motility is on the slightly lower end of the normal however his volume is 3x the normal amount.

I’m on about 15 different vitamins trying to help my fertility. I have the MTHFR gene and am on compounded folic acid for that.

We time sex, I use LH strips, I have done BBT, I have tracked CM.

I have done 2 rounds of progesterone after I ovulate as my luteal phase was 9-10 days and my periods were around 24-25 days average. Which has now pushed me out to 28 days and 13 day luteal phase.

I’ve done 3 rounds of letrozole 2.5mg and still nothing.

My AMH is 4.5. Which is on the lower end I know but still surely can’t be the reason I’ve never gotten a single positive?

Anyone else dealing with this too?

We have agreed to start IUI/IVF towards the end of the year but I’m still hoping to fall pregnant naturally.

Looking to hear coping strategies from others who are struggling with secondary infertility.

I feel like i live in an in between space or a purgatory where i am spiraling downward with my infertility but its secondary, i already have a kid, so im not allowed to really express it or no one really gets this place that i am since i do have a child.

* How are you not constantly angry and resentful that your body worked just fine at one point and now it’s failing you ?

* How are you balancing being a present mom to your first while attending a million fertility appointments, taking hormones that make you crazy, and feeling depressed over your unexplained diagnosis?

I have been TTC for #2 for 23 months. I have been diagnosed with unexplained secondary infertility. We had absolutely zero issues conceiving baby 1, it was easy actually. Aside from a few minor issues that were fixed within our first year of trying, everything has been officially “normal” and “perfect (in the words of the surgeon who did my hysteroscopy)” since November.

Since November i have done 4 medicated and monitored cycles back to back followed by 2 iuis. All obviously failed and i am feeling so incredibly burnt out and depressed. To top it all off all these cycles since November required me to be at the clinic multiple times per week for monitoring and blood work causing me to miss functions for my first child. The hormones also make me a raging witch, and i feel i have been short with him.

I committed to 3 iuis so as i was planning for this months the clinic told me to start and come in on Mother’s Day and i sort of lost it. I realized i have missed so much since November with my first child- there is absolutely no way im going in on Mother’s Day. Also I’m feeling like i may never get to experience motherhood again so i need to be present for everything with my first, i can’t afford to miss more.

I declined the 3rd iui and said i would try to July but my close friend told me if i really wanted another baby id have made it work out this month during Mother’s Day i just changed my priorities. It Stung.

Im sorry this is so long i just dont know where else to share this. Really hoping for advice from other secondary infertility mothers

• Did you make a plan for when it would be time to stop before TTC-ing? Is it a strict "x cycles", "when I turn y years old" or "everything but IVF" or just a general "when I feel xyz..."

• Has that plan changed?

• If you do reach that point, will you switch to NTNP or use birth control?

I really do want a second kid, but I also know we could find peace with being a family of 3 if it's not in the cards. From the beginning, we knew there'd be a certain number of cycles we'd be up for trying (likely less than 12) before we quit. But I'm realizing that the farther you go, the harder it is to throw it all away and stop TTC. It's like, the worse case scenario is I don't get a second kid but I'm emotionally scarred by the TTC journey. The best case scenario is I do get a second kid. As each month goes on and those negative feelings around failure compound, it feels like quitting is saying "I'll take this version of my worst-case scenario so that I'm not potentially forced later on to take an even worse version of my worst-case scenario". But I think you always wonder if maybe next month would've been the month.

Anyway, just curious to hear how others are navigating this (if you are!) whether you're just starting TTC or have been doing it for a long time.

Asking in general because I know 35 isn’t THAT old, but I’m 35 and recently began trying for our next even though my current baby is only 9 months and we’re still breastfeeding so I’m not expecting it to happen quickly (it never has). But it got me thinking if for some crazy stroke of luck it happens quickly this time.

Egg quality starts to decline quicker around this age but also pregnancies tend to be healthier 1.5-5 years apart. So would the best option be to wait and have a nice 2 year minimum space between pregnancies but be a little older, or to have 9 months between pregnancies but be a little younger? Or maybe I’m overthinking it and it’s all a wash!

This is kind of long so apologize in advanced. We have a 10 month old and around 6/7 months we started trying for number two. I have had my cycle back since 3 months postpartum and it’s been regular. Since trying all of my cycles have been way out of whack. At first I thought maybe I had a chemical pregnancy but nothing confirmed. However I had every early pregnancy symptom I had with my first but the difference was a week before my period had pretty heavy cramping on one side. I’m not someone that gets cramps before my period I really only have them day one of menstrual cycle. I have been cycle tracking and covering my fertility window. But now I’m on cycle day 21 estimated 11 days before period (app prediction not 100%) and ovulation strips have not indicated a peak. I have used pregmate with every cycle but recently my friend gave me her pack that was new and nothing. So I used the remainder of my clear blue digital and it estimated a high value not peak. Bought a new pack of pregmate strips and indicated nothing above .36. I’m still testing and ttcing but wondered if you guys have experienced anything similar?? Also context I am breast feeding but again regular cycles since 3 months postpartum have tested positive ovulation time during all other cycles. Is it the pregmate strips or me??? 😩😩😩😩 (not looking for medical advice just wanting to see if anyone has gone through something similar or is struggling with pregmate ovulation strips?)

This is cycle… 26? And the first time using Letrozole. The intent was for this to be the first IUI cycle, but the timing didn’t work out (I live rurally and a 6 hour drive away from my fertility clinic) so we did timed intercourse.

So like the title says I’m CD40 and 24DPO (or did I not even ovulate?). My clinics procedure is to offer Provera after cycle day 35, but also said that sometimes it backfires and makes CD1 even later? I feel so uncertain and so annoyed with my body.

My cycle isn’t usually like clockwork, but it’s far from irregular. Pretty consistently 29-32 days. This past cycle I was down and out with COVID around 2DPO, so I didn’t really feel like this was my healthiest cycle to conceive but damn I’m going craaaazy waiting for CD1.

Also I should mention that I’ve taken SO many tests - all stark white negative

Hi everyone. This is probably a question for a doctor, but perhaps someone here has been in a similar situation.

I’m 36 and we’ve been trying for our second child for 10 months. I had a completely normal first pregnancy five years ago and conceived without any difficulty. I delivered by C-section.

I’ve had my hormones and AMH checked, and my partner has had a semen analysis — everything came back normal. I thought the next step would be an HSG, but my specialist told me that the chances of blocked fallopian tubes are low and suggested trying letrozole first. (I dont have PCOS or irregualr cycles, my cycles are 29-32 days long and regular).

I’m really torn because letrozole is still a hormonal treatment, and logically it makes more sense to me to first check whether my tubes are open before stimulating my ovaries.

Even if I decided to arrange an HSG on my own, I probably wouldn’t have enough time to do both the vaginal/cervical swabs and the HSG during this cycle, considering that today is the first day of my period. I’m supposed to start letrozole on cycle day 3.

Sorry for the long post. I’m genuinely unsure what to do, and unfortunately today is a public holiday in my country followed by the weekend, so I can’t consult my doctor. I also don’t have any other doctor i consider close enough to contact by phone. And i really don't want to skip yet another cycle.

If anyone has been in a similar situation, I would really appreciate hearing about your experience or advice.

Thank you, and have a lovely day!

Hiii everyone!
I have been trying for a second baby since 09/25. Me and my husband are 27, and we have a 2 year old who we got pregnant with on our first try. I had been pregnant one time before that when my birth control failed. We thought we’d have no trouble conceiving given our age and previous proven fertility, but clearly have been struggling.

All of my tests and his have came back well before my AMH being at a 1.7, which is low for my age. We started seeing an RE and after an unsuccessful round of IUI with clomid, I got pregnant my second round using letrozole. However this ended in a chemical (I wasn’t too surprised, my HCG was at a 7.44 at 14DPIUI).

I’ve obviously been doing a lot of research since getting our unexplained secondary infertility diagnosis, and have been reading more and more about silent or asymptomatic endo. I have some period and ovulation pain, and some pain during intercourse, but if it weren’t for the infertility, I don’t know that I would have known. I have a 3D ultrasound coming up whenever my period comes back to look for any markers. Looking to see if anyone has any experience with this! I have read that silent endometriosis potentially contributes up to fifty percent of unexplained infertility cases.

A lot of this applies to smaller age gaps too, but I felt the need to get my thoughts out this morning.

My daughter just turned 4 and it’s hard not to think about the age gap getting bigger and bigger. I know there are many things that will be easier with the larger age gap but still. Things are so easy now and she’s my little bestie. That makes doubt sometimes creeps in about adding a baby to the equation. At the same time I’ve had one (potentially two?) chemicals so I had started imagining her as a big sister and felt extra crushed that she doesn’t get that. A lot of her friends have little siblings and her best friend is now getting a second one. I thought for a while we were one and done and now that I realized I’m not I feel like the universe is punishing me for waiting too long.

Anybody else feeling all the conflicting feelings?

Edit: all your replies have been so thoughtful and reassuring. Thanks for all your perspectives ❤️❤️❤️