RJ Mitte (Walt Jr) has passed 😥

[u/Boring_Elevator3817]

Wow, I was shocked to hear this. They are saying it was suicide. So sad. He was only 34 years old. RIP, Flynn ❤️

[u/Master_virgin20]

I used to game with him playing Fortnite and warzone, he was active only a couple hours ago, crazy.

[u/HailToTheThief225 → u/Master_virgin20]

It’s scary how you don’t know what someone’s going through and how normal things can seem before it happens. The night before I lost my best friend he was having dinner with our buddy, laughing and joking like nothing was wrong in his life. You just never know.

[u/SignificantRecipe715 → u/HailToTheThief225]

A lot of people who take their life are happy right beforehand, as they've made the decision & I guess feel like a weight has lifted. Really sad.

[u/Due_Air_7255 → u/SignificantRecipe715]

I think that is definitely part of it but I also think the happiness before hand is a swing of the pendulum and later on that day/night the pendulum swings again and the low lows are when it occurs. Before my suicide attempt I was very happy that day and the day before and none of it was due to me thinking "haha im fixing to killmyself this is great."

[u/Moth1016 → u/Due_Air_7255]

Ahh, see, for me it was like, I was miserable for months & months before I made the decision, and then the moment I made the decision, I was free. None of the things that I’d been worried/stressed about mattered anymore, none of my responsibilities weighed on me, and I was the happiest I’d ever been in my life. I pushed the date back 3x just to live in that bubble a little longer. Waited a whole week to actually make the attempt.

[u/HectorVillanueva → u/Moth1016]

I’m glad you weren’t successful and I hope you’re doing better now.

[u/Moth1016 → u/HectorVillanueva]

Thank you, I am!

[u/ThinGrass3138 → u/Moth1016]

It's crazy how we let things weigh on us to such a disproportionate degree that we let it take away all our happiness.

Maybe that's why as humans we love dogs, they just live freely then when they go they go.

[u/HoustonIshn → u/ThinGrass3138]

Ppl can’t control or assign happiness. No one “lets” severe depression/illness/trauma happen to them

[u/PearAmazing946 → u/Moth1016]

I’m glad you’re here to share your story

[u/Successful-Ring-592 → u/Moth1016]

Glad youre still here!

[u/wimbokcfa → u/Moth1016]

I’m struggling with the opposite. I think I have to do it tomorrow, there’s no more options for my PTSD and depression and I’m staring down losing my job, but I’m absolutely devastated for what I’m about to do to my friends and family

[u/gatitamonster → u/wimbokcfa]

Please don’t.

[u/wimbokcfa → u/gatitamonster]

I really wish there were another way but I’ve been fighting so hard for literal years

[u/gatitamonster → u/wimbokcfa]

Look, I have no magic words for you and I don’t know what it’s like to be in your head. All I can tell you from my own experience of being depressed and disabled and losing everything, including my job, apartment, and independence is that life still has things to offer you.

You know that you have friends and family who love you and would be devastated. Tell them what’s happening and what you’re considering. Don’t blindside them. It’s not fair and you should give them a chance to help.

Don’t make such a huge, irrevocable decision without dotting all the “I”s and crossing all the “T”s. Call these people too.

https://988lifeline.org

[u/wimbokcfa → u/gatitamonster]

I agree life does still have things to offer me, I’m just a piece of shit that can’t get my shit together enough to participate meaningfully and functionally. Including disability that’s now threatening my career. I think they know… they’ve seen me struggle for years and they’ve been there for me but there’s nothing anybody can do

[u/gatitamonster → u/wimbokcfa]

I’m a piece of shit. I can’t work and the only reason I’m not homeless is because my dad lets me live in his house. I’ve left the house six times since even before the pandemic. I’m the exact stereotype of the useless redditor—except I’m a woman and I wear pants.

Your career is threatened. Not gone. The one thing I wish I had done when I still had health insurance and depression/anxiety that refused to respond to medication was ask about electro shock therapy. If you haven’t explored that, I’m begging you to try for both of us.

[u/wimbokcfa → u/gatitamonster]

I’ve done ECT. It absolutely destroyed my memory (almost lost my career to that then) and I can’t do more of it, plus it didn’t work for more than a few weeks

[u/pythonidaae → u/wimbokcfa]

Have you tried Ketamine?

Shrooms can make a huge difference for people too (though you can't get that from a clinic).

I've also heard TMS can be effective as an alternative to ECT.

I really hope you consider options that include you being here with us.

I have PTSD too and other mental health issues so I understand how rough it can be. Please hang in there.

[u/gatitamonster → u/wimbokcfa]

What’s your job and why do you think you’re going to lose it?

[u/Ashamed_Scallion_316 → u/wimbokcfa]

Like the other commenter said, I’m not going to pretend I understand everything you’ve been through, I’m just some rando on the internet. But she’s right, please reach out to your loved ones before you do something that can’t be undone. If it’s too hard to talk to a loved one right now, talk to a stranger on the lifeline. Someone’s always there to listen.

[u/Ashamed_Scallion_316 → u/wimbokcfa]

It’s only inevitable if that’s what you choose. I hope you choose to stay with us. And so do your loved ones.

[u/Ashamed_Scallion_316 → u/wimbokcfa]

Please give yourself another chance. You don’t have to face your problems alone.

[u/wimbokcfa → u/Ashamed_Scallion_316]

I’ve had many chances. I’ve been fighting for years. I’m so tired. And I’ve had help. It just… doesn’t help. Nothing does, not enough

[u/AliciaMaeEmory → u/wimbokcfa]

Please don’t. Please reach out for help.

[u/Kamikrazy → u/wimbokcfa]

Hey Wimbokcfa,

Please don't take your own life. I know you said below that you have been fighting your depression for years. You should be proud of yourself every day that you can make it through that fight. Your life is valuable; you have strengths, ideas, and courage that is meaningful.

I am going to send you a message tomorrow evening. I really hope I get to hear back from you.

[u/Professional-Try731 → u/Kamikrazy]

My other acct got auto banned for 3 days for “inciting violence” lol (just for discussing being suicidal). But thank you. I appreciate that. But also please don’t, it makes my heart hurt more to think of someone else waiting on a reply from me that won’t come

[u/Kamikrazy → u/Professional-Try731]

Please reconsider. I'm just a stranger, if talking to me is awkward please reach out to family or friends. It is ok to reach out to loved ones and let them carry some of this burden with you. I promise you they would prefer that to you taking your own life.

Depression fucks with our brains so much, it sucks to deal with on top of all the other shit that life throws at us. Your depression is not you, there are so many valuable qualities that you bring to this world. Your brain is lying to you every time those negative thoughts start popping up.

You have to have such a strong work ethic to become a doctor. You should be proud of becoming a doctor. Losing your job is not the end of things. It is the beginning of new opportunities, whether it be in the same profession or not. That drive to become a doctor is who you are, not your depression. Your work ethic, empathy for others, and perseverance are who you are.

Please keep fighting, I sincerely hope to hear from you tomorrow. <3

[u/Professional-Try731 → u/Kamikrazy]

Okay, fuck, actually. I really didn’t expect this but something, somewhere, someone got to me… maybe all of it, I’m not sure. Somehow more people saw my comments than I expected. But I reflected on that I literally have a good friend’s wedding and my young nephew’s birthday party this weekend… and I haven’t seen my family in 2 years. Like what am I doing. I can’t do this right now. I can at least try hard for one more week or so. So, thank you, kind stranger for being part of this

[u/Kamikrazy → u/Professional-Try731]

Fuck yeah, keep fighting man. I think talking to people about our mental health is huge. I can't speak for everyone, but my depression puts a fog in front of my brain that keeps me from seeing all the good parts of myself. Sometimes we need someone else to help shine some light on us to clear that fog. (:

[u/Moth1016 → u/wimbokcfa]

Devastating to hear, I’m so sorry. I know there’s likely nothing I can say or do as a stranger on the internet that might change your mind, but I sincerely hope you find another way. Have you seen an EMDR/brainspotting specialist? I, too, have severe treatment resistant PTSD and depression, and brainspotting in particular (EMDR as well, but to a slightly lesser extent) changed my life once I found the right practitioner.

[u/SummitSloth → u/wimbokcfa]

Same, I will go with you. I can't handle this world and my thoughts keeping me up at nights

[u/in5trum3ntal → u/Moth1016]

I’m sorry you went through any of that and hope you’re doing way better. I appreciate your transparency and descriptions, that can’t be easy.

It did kind of make me think that my adhd and keen procrastination skills may be keeping me alive though… I mean that in a light hearted way and in no way mean to joke about your experience.

[u/PearAmazing946 → u/Due_Air_7255]

I’m glad you’re here to share your story

[u/Solid-Technician6364 → u/Due_Air_7255]

I’ve had the same experience as well, going 100 to -100 in a short amount of time. Sometimes you have an extra good and happy day and you go home and the immediate absence of it has sent me down a lot. The extra good is dangerous for me cause it seems I need to only be a few steps above baseline for a fall to be fatal

[u/mostly_pee → u/Due_Air_7255]

Yeah. Something I've noticed is that when things have been going alright and you have a good day it can hit ten thousand times worse to get a mood slump later. Because you think to yourself "if I can have all this great stuff in my life and I still can't be happy, what's the point?" Whereas if you already feel kinda sucky what's another lonely sad evening, you just add it to the shit pile.

[u/aeschenkarnos → u/Due_Air_7255]

I was talking to a guy a couple of weeks ago whose brother killed himself. They were in business together, skip bin hire. The guy I met did all the deliveries and pickups and dump runs and so on, and his brother managed the accounts and insurance and so forth. One man was out driving around in the fresh air and sunshine and the other was in the comfortable air conditioned office and both thought the other was happy. Only one was right.

After his brother passed away, friends and family gathered around to help and one of them was a cousin, an accountant. She offered to sort out the books.

Almost immediately after she started the job she told her cousin “he had been planning this for a long time, maybe a year.” She had never seen a neater set of small business records. Everything was correct, filed in folders, etc. The surviving brother may or may not have been able to take the work on, but the man who passed left him the absolute minimum amount of difficulty for the next accountant.

That’s a sign, I think. A normally untidy, or “eh, good enough” type person suddenly becomes unbelievably organised.