r/PeterExplainsTheJoke • u/uhohelle • 13h ago

Meme needing explanation i’m a girl i don’t get this

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like why wouldn’t this work. is it cause of the urinals so close to the sink?? or like.. cause idk

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378

u/Street_Lettuce1243 13h ago

I would go with video cameras pointing at each urinal and a big screen on the far wall showing if they're occupied. /s

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u/Vast-Ad1915 12h ago

And you can have a leaderboard, Urinator of the Month, and weekly prizes

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u/AbroadMediocre312 12h ago

Pissing average for staying in the strike zone.

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u/Impossible-Scene5084 12h ago

Bro if we could have competitive national leaderboards for public urinal use, the queues would be worse than for the women’s. Every dude would be constantly looking for opportunities to get their numbers up.

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u/EmotionalSnow2000 12h ago

I would take this sacrifice if points were awarded for hand washing and general cleanliness. Might give the dirty bastards i watch leave without washing their hands a kick up the arse.

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u/physicistbowler 9h ago

But then you'd have a dirty foot.

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u/Avenger_of_Justice 9h ago

If I walk in and the only thing I have touched is my own penis the last thing I want to do is touch the tap handles that have been used by all the shitters

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u/fingersurbum 3h ago

My dad was in the army a long time ago, he was an MP corporal.

He went to the boozer one time to make a round, see if there’s anyone there that shouldn’t be and stuff.

Well he pops of into the shitter to take a piss, he does his thing and goes to walk out, and a navy sailor said “that’s disgusting mate, you know in the navy they teach us to wash our hands after we piss”

He shot back “in the army they teach us to not piss on our hands”

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u/Koro_Darren 3h ago

I agree, ik technically it is unsanitary but seriously the most men need to pee is 2 fingers, sum js use 1, & oftentimes u don't even need any. If u got places 2 b I'd say it's ok to skip it, but if ur boutta touch someone or eat dinner or smth then maybe wash ur hands, but it's still I'd say very likited in terms of real necessity, I mean ur phone & many objects around us r often more bacteria-filled & dirty than a pecker

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u/SidFren 11h ago

It would be one extremely hydrated nation

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u/AbroadMediocre312 11h ago

sound of cannon firing

Another champion fallen to hyponatremia.

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u/Dillo64 9h ago

And special points go to whoever finds and pees in the secret bonus urinal

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u/Mt_wi86 14m ago

First thought…. No
But… if I’m being honest
If it showed my score on a screen as I was walking out… I’m gonna get my numbers up.
More hydration! (More) Target practice!

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u/Tashawn 3h ago

Can you imagine just how big the multipliers can get at bars? “x25 Urinal Cake Destroyer.”

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u/PrivilegeCheckmate 1h ago

And when they hit the neighbors' shoe it plays a clip: "Juuuuust a bit outside!"

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u/Fabulous_Pattern776 12h ago

Well now that would just turn into a pissing contest

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u/jzubair11 12h ago

Don't give redbull any new ideas. Peelease

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u/DrMadRog 9h ago

This is the best underrated comment!

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u/Super-Evening8420 11h ago

Challenge pissing as Big Bill Hell intended.

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u/KindButAlsoSad 12h ago

I often think about how everyday, some guy has the longest pee worldwide, and he doesn't even know it.

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u/EPGesus 11h ago

I think that was me once, years ago. I started peeing, somebody came in, peed, washed their hand and left and I was still peeing. I've never felt so powerful since. I bet whoever does it at least thinks about it from time to time. Unless it's just one dude who pees like a water hose EVERY time and gets the record daily and just thinks everybody does it the same as him.

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u/posthuman04 8h ago

It’s a guy with a prostate the size of a grapefruit that doesn’t want to be there any longer than he has too but old age has pinched his pee stream to a trickle.

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u/posthuman04 8h ago

See ever since I had a case of prostatitis I don’t find these jokes funny anymore.

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u/jancl0 11h ago

Urinal leader boards are a real thing BTW. There's a bar in the city I live in that's pretty well known, mostly cause the owner is... Well let's just say he keeps finding new ways to end up in news articles

The guys urinal had a screen behind the water that could tell when you were pissing on it, and gave you a score. The screen also had the faces of people the owner didn't like, usually politicians, sometimes the owners of other bars in the area. He.... He got into alot of arguments with owners of other bars in the area

That is literally the only story I can tell you about him that doesn't make him immediately googleable

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u/jayBplatinum 9h ago

I always thought putting something similar to those squirt gun games at fairs into a urinal would be lit. You and the boys at the bar everyone has to piss so they hit the target for a horse race. Fun, keeps pee off the floor hopefully, and lucrative.

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u/benryves 5h ago

They do exist, e.g. the Sega Toylet.

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u/jancl0 1h ago

There was a designer a while ago that discovered that less cleaning around urinals was required if a small print of a fly or other insect was put on the back wall of the urinal. It saved a ton in maintenance costs

Edit: Turns out it's got its own Wikipedia page

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u/vypermann 32m ago

Biggest Dick

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u/AbroadMediocre312 12h ago

The little red and green lights above like some parking garages.

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u/phunkydroid 12h ago

I've literally seen bathrooms with stalls like this.

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u/Bol0gna_Sandwich 12h ago

Yeah pressure sensors have gotten quite cheap and can be tuned so someone as light as a child could set it off. Or ir sensors like what stop garage doors from crashing people.

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u/miserableSnail 12h ago

Or just simply combine it with the IR sensor that auto flushes.

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u/Bol0gna_Sandwich 12h ago

I kinda forgot about those lmaoo.

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u/InsaneJMad 9h ago

We have that in women’s bathroom - I think linked to the lock position. It’s great stuff.

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u/Sprocket-Launcher 12h ago

You accidentally put an s at the end of your statement. You should edit. People might misundand and disregard your brilliant and valid idea

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u/Ho11owstyxx 12h ago

Why keep the screen in the bathroom?

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u/raids_made_easy 11h ago

It should definitely also be streamed to a monitor just outside the bathroom, and maybe even one outside as you're approaching the building. That way you'll be able to make an efficient urinal plan on your way to the bathroom without having to waste any time when you get there.

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 10h ago

True, might be good to know before entering the bathroom if any urinals are free.

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u/blindfire40 12h ago

Just do the Costco gas station "free pump" indicator!

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u/Dense-Corgi-7936 9h ago

Why did you give your comment the /serious tone tag?  I thought it was a joke.

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u/Icy_Fish_2154 12h ago

Please attach endoscope before use.

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u/Nruggia 12h ago

I hear the camera adds 10 pounds. Hey babe, come look at my 10.12 pound hog on the big screen!

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u/Shoddy-Knowledge8266 11h ago

that brings up privacy issue. have the camera zoom in on the waist height so not to reveal faces

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u/ZXVIV 6h ago

You joke but I remember in China seeing some toilets I think in airports that have a digital screen outside which highlights where all the toilets are, and which ones are currently occupied. It was really interesting and probably useful in saving the hastle of going into a large bathroom and awkwardly pushing on cubicle doors until you find one open

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u/eljefe38theboss 11h ago

I think a simple red/ green light in the ceiling above each urinal like at the airport parking garage is perfect. That way when someone stands too far off to the side to pee it will show as empty and we get the awkward joy of almost walking up on someone peeing as we continually circle the bathroom

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u/anonymustaccio 10h ago

Replace all urinals with one round urinal in the middle of the room so everybody can stand around it in a circle.

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u/Theodoxus 10h ago

Our parking garage has green/red lights over every space so you can tell right away if one is free. Easier to do than a video camera ;)

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u/madd74 10h ago

Flock would like to know your location

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u/Street_Lettuce1243 10h ago

Oh God, flock is going to start putting drug tests in the urinal drains arn't they.

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u/AccordionWhisperer 10h ago

or those green and red lights above them like in parking garages.... or some Buckees bathrooms

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u/I_am_the_darkness_99 10h ago

Robotic urinals who sense your full bladder with x-rays and make their way to you in the dining room and use a hose that goes up your pant leg and sucks the pee out of you. You won't even have to leave the dinner table!

1

u/Ressy02 9h ago

I was in Taiwan and a few of their bathrooms at the MRT have LED indicators to let you know which stalls are occupied.

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u/demcookies_ 9h ago

The urinals have a cock scanner which lights up red light when the spot is in use, just like in car parks.

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u/Zealousideal-Sea8006 9h ago

In fact, the cameras should point downwards so that the face is not visible and privacy is preserved.

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u/Whitey138 9h ago

And ads. You can do 50 seconds of ads and 10 seconds of urinal status. The bathrooms pay for themselves.

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u/Y_U_NO_KNOW 9h ago

Why the far wall? Im lazy. Can you put the TV outside of the bathroom instead?

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u/graven_raven 8h ago

A little green/red light on ceiling 

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u/vsdhu 8h ago

No cameras, but a weight sensor near the base that lights up something above each urinal near the ceiling, visibly

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u/Ok-Statement8224 8h ago

Costco gas station tech solves this

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u/Main_Leadership7748 8h ago

Put the big screen OUTSIDE so you know exactly what stall to go to before you even walk in the door. Very efficient!

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u/astralseat 7h ago

No, no, no, that's not good enough. What you need is a giant dome on the ceiling that reflects everyone from above, so you know which pooping stalls are available as well. And inside the big silver ball? A flock camera of course! For safety /s

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u/Youpi_Yeah 7h ago

Why not just mirrors on the ceiling?

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u/sundog6295 6h ago

What about the sensors they have in some parking garages on the ceilings letting you know if a space is empty from afar?

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u/NivogMagni 6h ago

Or like those lights above parking spots.

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u/akawendals 14m ago

One of them big round mirrors they put on hill driveways or blind curves 😆