r/AbsoluteUnits • u/beklog • 19h ago

/r/popular of a fishing lure

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3.9k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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1.3k

u/punch912 19h ago

155

u/Want_to_68 18h ago

Fuck you! I won't do what you tell me!

42

u/Somethingabootit 16h ago

Fuck you i wont do what you tell me

15

u/ArbitraryAmusement 15h ago

Fuck you! I wont do what you tell me!

14

u/the-realest-rivuler 15h ago

JUSTIFIED, ARE THOSE WHO DIED!

13

u/Quetzalcoatolus 14h ago

FOR WEARIN THE BADGE, THEIR THE CHOSEN WHITES

10

u/FantasticClue8887 13h ago

YOU JUSTIFIED THOSE THAT DIED

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u/SuperCleverPunName 17h ago

I mean, you don't need a flared base if there is no base.

10

u/Brabbel63 14h ago

When it’s all the way in you just cough a few times and hack it up.

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2.7k

u/Ecast25 19h ago edited 7h ago

Suuure... fishing lure....

Edit: didnt think there were so many degenerates in here (autocorrect is so broken)

Question, was i the only one that thought of Requiem for a dream, that one line... ass to ass!!

374

u/DrParadoxOG 19h ago

So we are both in the gutter....glad its not just me.

173

u/2Wieners_1Bun 19h ago

Don’t put that in your gutter. We’ll have to fish it out.. in the ER

146

u/Phyzzx 19h ago

5

u/Top-Difficulty5202 15h ago

I'm so glad someone put darline grahams real name under her portrait. That's right, she's straight Filth. Stunning likeness in the chin

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u/DrParadoxOG 19h ago

I had a mate that was dating a nurse. Apparently its lynx caps they have to try and remove on a regular basis....she would go into great detail...even though we asked her not to.

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u/2Wieners_1Bun 18h ago

You mean lynx cans?

aerosol can in the bum sounds like you need to call in the bomb squad

Cooooked lol!!

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u/DrParadoxOG 18h ago

Yup. Apparently its the right shape...ahem

9

u/2Wieners_1Bun 18h ago

Everything is a butt plug if your stupid enough lol

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u/MidnightToker858 18h ago

Ribbed for pleasure

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u/DaageQuasar 18h ago

There's always a bigger butthole

14

u/archercc81 18h ago

to be seen in a specific genre of japanase "art" soon.

8

u/Medicine_Balla 18h ago

Do not the fishing lure

9

u/wooden-fuk-boi 18h ago

I saw a lady "fishing" with one like this. . .in a video. . .in a small pool. . .

4

u/JamesLikesIt 19h ago

Luring something in alright 

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u/svobodov- 19h ago

Yeah totally normal fishing lure just to lure some sea women

128

u/logosfabula 19h ago

Is everything actually a dildo? Freud must've been more right than wrong.

85

u/svobodov- 19h ago

Everything is a dildo if you're brave enough

82

u/LivingCamel3326 19h ago

I thought it was Lincoln who said that

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u/DrinkMorWhiteMonster 18h ago

So you hook them by the- OH NO

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u/Past-North-4131 18h ago

In all seriousness. Would anyone actually use this lure. Like any anglers here that can explain this?

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u/klqqf 18h ago

I want to assume because it looks like they’re at a fishing convention that these may just be giant versions of actual lures they produce for a visual joke and/or a detailed look at the small lures that are only brought to the conventions

304

u/dragon_bacon 17h ago

So they're fisherman lures.

112

u/Yanky_Doodle_Dickwad 17h ago

Top fisherman lures. Master bait.

11

u/rdogg4 17h ago

They got me hooked

8

u/eggz627 15h ago

Just baiting the hookers

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u/CountryRoads8 18h ago

Yea this same convention had a tackle backpack company that made comically oversized tackle backpacks that went viral with people walking around the convention floor with them on. 

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u/LysergicRico 18h ago

This is the only answer that makes sense, as a fisherman myself.   That or it's for bluegill.

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u/pueblocatchaser 18h ago

You know damn well a bluegill would bite that 😂

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u/External_Hunt4536 11h ago

And then you’d set the hook as hard as you can and end up with nothing on the line 😂

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u/Deep_Flatworm4828 18h ago

You're exactly correct. It's just a gag.

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u/SockeyeSTI 18h ago

Im gonna say no. A lot of times convention show pieces are just that, show pieces. And with 3d printing super common now, making a mold this big doesn’t cost anything. And then just pour the lure.

Vs having a whole ass aluminum mold cnc’d.

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u/dinnerthief 18h ago

Nothing realistically, maybe you COULD catch something but its not the right lure for anything

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u/porcelain_kiss 18h ago

No you wouldnt. BUT I WOULDDDD hang it up in my garage where my fishing poles and tackle box live

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u/Tall-Marionberry-590 18h ago

Just think of the dust and hair it would collect.

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u/ThoroughlyWet 16h ago

Thats minimum bait size required for Bluegill

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u/cpupro 18h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/H3Gsg60KeSKOaBQASD

We've all seen enough girls on Chaturbate to know what is going to happen...

Please... don't...

13

u/ghillie-in-the-rain 18h ago

Do you know of anyone specifically, so I know who to avoid?

16

u/CrownofMischief 18h ago

Probably stay away from ones like lilijunex then

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u/MLoganImmoto 19h ago

BadDragon making fishing lures now?

39

u/DyingStarlight0123 19h ago

To catch what, Moby Dick?

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u/___LowLifer___ 19h ago

Right? Jokes aside - as a fisherman myself, what are we targeting with this?

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u/ExtraBreadPls 19h ago

I saw a video once where a lovely young lady made a red one disappear in a manner that may surprise you and then made it reappear. Several times.

https://giphy.com/gifs/9EvnXdZaUZbCqScn67

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u/lostcorndog 19h ago

Realistically, would that be bait for an orca? A sperm whale? The Meg? Cthulhu?

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u/LysergicRico 18h ago

Panfish and bluegill.

9

u/Blue_Fuzzy_Anteater 15h ago

Is this some kind of fishing joke that I am too pale to understand?

4

u/Objective_Cheetah_63 10h ago

The joke is that they are small fish

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u/Feisty_Can416 18h ago

Even larger worms. Start here and work your way up to an Alaskan Bull Worm, then take that as bait to the Dune sandworm

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u/meltingpotato 16h ago

It's a bait for the fishermen in that convention.

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u/the_main_entrance 18h ago

My son has a fishing lure under his bed. I didn’t even know he liked fishing.

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u/ChefArtorias 18h ago

My ex had one of those. Never mentioned fishing once. Interesting.

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u/L-Krumy 18h ago

Serious question: what the fuck are they fishing for?

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u/BearTyrant 18h ago

A leviathan class entity

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u/fazzah 19h ago

thoughtful, yet unorthodox gift for OPs mom

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u/Afgb89 19h ago

Yeah, some weirdo is going to “fall over it” and he’s going to require medical intervention that have it removed from his ass

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u/PunchTilItWorks 18h ago

When you’re fishing for Loch Ness Monsters?

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u/Diligent-Main9092 18h ago

That’s gonna end up in someone’s butt.

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u/DiscontentDonut 18h ago

When did Bad Dragon start selling fishing lures?

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u/msmorphine 19h ago

Last time I saw one of those was at Doghouse Leathers in Seattle

https://giphy.com/gifs/aC1PWOXzqgT6hhC0vZ

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u/Karuko- 18h ago

My Grandma also has one, she keeps it in her bedroom for some reason.

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u/JesseJ78599 19h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/ESjMRbM7HX4mQBHQwe
“We found the eel sir, now we need to find the horse!”

6

u/cerealandcorgies 19h ago

I really hate that I understand this reference

8

u/Trati 18h ago

I've seen an onlyfans model using a fishing lure like this. Not sure if she cought anything.

9

u/Should_have_been_ded 18h ago

I wanna see the fishing rod that can hold that bait

8

u/rudra00 18h ago

I doubt those are used for fishing. Probably more for attracting attention and visitors to the booth.

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u/Durahl 18h ago

Someone, somewhere WILL try ( and some succeed 😱 ) to shove this up their ass 😑

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u/HarryBalsagna1776 18h ago

Just because you can doesn't mean you should 

11

u/_dogMANjack_ 18h ago

New Bad Dragon designs dropped

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u/KNexus20 19h ago

We're gonna need a bigger butt.... I MEAN BOAT

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u/Admirable_Secret_487 18h ago

I don't think that's a fishing lure

5

u/VorticalHeart44 18h ago

This is filling some Onlyfans model's intestines right now

4

u/slap-my-crevasse 18h ago

Its definitely been in his ass at one point

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u/loqi0238 18h ago

What are we catching with that, your mom?

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u/Objective-Big3040 18h ago

Mmmm. That’ll fulfill my emperor fantasies from Baldur’s Gate 3. You want to put your purple tentacles where? 🦑

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u/idigholes 19h ago

That needs to be on the upthebutt sub

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u/One_Vision_ 19h ago edited 18h ago

Can someone explain this to me without the snark?

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u/Deep_Flatworm4828 18h ago

It's just a gag. It's not actually meant for fishing, it's a booth at a convention that made the biggest plastic worm they could for the fun of it.

Possibly it's to show off something technical (look at how special our purple is/look at how consistent our color is/look at how detailed it is/etc), but I would bet it's just for the spectacle.

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u/Lastito 19h ago

It only catches “Catfish”

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u/beanedjibe 18h ago

What's it luring? The Kraken?

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u/currentlyRedacted 18h ago

Bad Dragon having some fun with fishing nerds

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u/GalliumGA 18h ago

What are they fishing for the Loch Ness monster??

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u/sammavet 18h ago

I've seen enough cam girls to know where this is going

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u/CapnStarence 18h ago

That’s what is used to catch a Florida girl.

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u/LurchSkywalker 17h ago

Am I right to assume the unit is this guys forehead?

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u/SorryManNo 17h ago

It's all I could see in the video, but I also don't make a habit of looking at dildos fishing lures.

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u/tocahontas77 18h ago

Idk why you guys are joking about it being a dildo. It's way too flimsy for that lol.

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u/mis3rylovescompany 18h ago

That there lure is for catching 2 cougars at once.

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u/throwaway_help44 18h ago

Does anyone else find it weird that there are many women (and men) out there that want to insert that inside them?

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u/plantborb 18h ago

Nah man I just roll with it. I think if more people gave into their freaky private desires the world would be a better place

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