About to be a girl dad oh brother

Wife's nearly at 37 weeks and we did the baby shower a couple weeks back, boy howdy there's a lot of stuff! Early on we thought we didn't need a nursery at first, after all, he was going to be in our room for the first 6mo to a year, what could the baby need a whole room for?! Turns out you need that nursery just for somewhere to put all the baby stuff! Start early on the baby space my dudes, don't wait until the last minute like we did.

My wife and I went to our very first ultrasound yesterday and we haven’t told any family yet but I just need to share it somewhere!

It really hit me now after seeing the baby and hearing the heartbeat for the first time. First time dad and we are only at 9.5 weeks, but I’m thrilled and excited to be experiencing this with the love of my life. I can’t wait to be a dad!

Wife is due soon. Has anyone cranked out a few sets of push ups for a quick pump while wife is pushing? Don't want my future child to see the photos one day and think dad isn't shredded

Hey daddios,

New to the club - 8 weeks in over here and we are absolutely in love with our baby girl - I can’t believe how much this experience has already changed me over the past close to two months.

I know I’ll probably get downvoted for this, but wanted to come to this community to see……how have you approached a return to sex life with your partners? I haven’t brought anything up, my wife seems not interested in it at all right now….but it’s something that has started to creep back into my mind. If you don’t mind me asking, when did you guys get back to that part of your lives with your partner? Was there a discussion around it that you had? I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss the intimacy and am starting to crave that part of our relationship again.

Would love to hear everyone else’s experiences if comfortable! I don’t have any friends with kids so this is truly new territory.

We’re expectng our first child in three weeks, and we’re currently finalizing the nursery.
We managed to get some of the big ticket items at good sale prices like bassinet and mattress, car seat, stroller, etc. We got a changng table from Marketplace that too in excellent condition and we also recieved a good number of things at our baby shower as gifts.

But yesterday while we were setting everythng up in our nursery, my wife brought up something I had no idea was even a thing, a diaper pail. She insists that a proper diaper pale is important, otherwise the poop smell is going to take over our entire house. She also says she’s basically saving me from making daily trips to the outside trash can. Normally I’m on garbage duty anyway, so I figured I should actually look into this.
The names that kept coming up in my research were Ubbi, Dekor, Momcozy, and Munchkin Step. TBH, all the rviews on features like extra seals, odor control, and proprietary diaper pail refills started going a little over my head.

So, fellow dads, tell me which diaper pail actually has the strongest odor control? Does it genuinely save you from having to empty the pail every day? Kindly share your first-hand experience. Especially if you’ve gone through the newborn stage and can tell me what you wish you had known before buying one.

Ok so my wife (37) is wanting to start trying to get pregnant. We currently have an almost 2 year old through foster to adopt, so this would be her first pregnancy. She has gone back and forth over the years if she wants to give birth or not, and since we were placed with our daughter, she mostly has leaned toward wanting to continue with foster to adopt instead of giving birth herself.

However, about 6 months ago life start getting a lot with her work and her family, never mind entering toddler hood with our daughter.

I’ve always told her that I would never tell her not to have the experience of getting pregnant and giving birth if that’s something that she wants to experience - but I’m worried her new interest in being pregnant is more about trying to have an excuse to “get out of” some of the harder parts of life. I know that sounds awful to say, but it’s my fear.

I worry this because often when she talks about being pregnant and giving birth , she mentions how it will “get her out of” her work life for a while. Or she throws out little tasks and is like you’ll just do that when I’m pregnant right?

I don’t want to be a jerk and make her think j don’t support her having a baby if that’s what she really wants - but I also don’t know if we can manage pregnancy and the 4th trimester if her mind set is mostly that I will just take care of everything for the whole family.

I’ve mentioned this to her a bit - and she has assured me that’s not what will happen. I’ve even brought up that before she is pregnant I would love to make plan around household and parenting responsibilities so we both feel comfortable before we are in the weeds of her actually being pregnant and hormones and everything. Obviously we’d adjust if medical things came up or whatever - but I mean a best guess plan for how things will go.

Idk am I being a jerk? Or selfish?

My wife surprised me and we are now having a kid I just want to know what to prepare for and expect during her pregnancy. (She is only about 4-5 weeks pregnant give or take)

My husband (30M) and I (29F) have been together for over 11 years, we are pregnant with our first, and I’m 30w. We haven’t had sex since since August, his bday. Even then, I felt like he wasn’t super into it but we both climaxed. There’s been zero effort or drive on his end.

Me on the other hand, I’ve always had a high sex drive so I’m still very much taking care of my own needs. I brought it up tonight as like a casual “Hey, I can understand if sex isn’t on your mind right now, and if you’re masturbating that would be ok too.” He denied masturbating and says he just don’t have a sex drive right now and that everything’s okay and it’s not me. But this is not normal for us I guess, so it’s hard to think it’s not me.

Anyone else been here or currently here? Did your sex life return after baby?

Hey all. We just found out we’re expecting, due around late May. I’m 27, desk job, haven’t trained in about 2 years, and my neck and shoulders are a mess from sitting all day. I’ve got a barbell and dumbbells at home and I want to use the next ~8 months to build a habit that survives the newborn phase.

For those who tried something similar:

• Did you stick with it during the pregnancy? What made you quit, if you did?
• Did anything you built before the birth actually carry over after?
• Anything you wish you’d focused on instead (sleep, cooking, learning baby stuff)?

Thanks, and congrats to everyone else in the same boat.

Posted this last spring with lots of discussion. It's archived now so comments are closed and a lot of you weren't here yet. It's still the thing I most want a new dad to hear at 3am, so I'm putting it back up.

Dad of 3 here.

Nobody warned me about 3am rage.

That weird surge of anger when you're holding a crying newborn and haven't slept. I remember standing there thinking something was wrong with me.

My first baby was also colicky so even his grandparents weren't sure how to handle him during his witching hours.

The single best advice I eventually got was simple and felt almost insulting in the moment:
Put the baby down somewhere safe. Walk away. Take a breath.

It sounds easy. It's not.
But it's the right move.

That stretch actually pushed me into therapy, which ended up being one of the best things I've done. I learned that the combo of sleep deprivation + pressure + feeling responsible but powerless is a brutal mix.

If you hit that wall, you're not broken or alone.
What I'd add this time: I never heard this from a doctor, a class, or another dad. I found out alone at 3am assuming I was the problem.

So if you've already been through it, tell a new dad. Ideally before 3am.

Did anyone else deal with this? What helped you regulate it?

Asking all dads how I can handle this, and honestly as a man it’s embarrassing to even say this out out, also feels more like a rant than anything

My gf is 23 weeks pregnant, through the whole first trimester I’m not going to lie I didn’t understand what she was going through and would start a discussion over every little thing, it’s gotten to the point where (again embarrassing) shes mentioned I’ve made it miserable, and it’s gotten to some points where she question why we are together but for some reasons we don’t break up like I said def not something I’m proud of. I get hormones are all over place but when it comes to me it seems like she has a grudge. I’ve came to the conclusion that since we don’t live together atm it feels like the best option is to just distance myself and let her look for me when she needs me, but also a part of me feels if I distance myself it’ll feel like I don’t want part of it,

I’m sure those who are reading will be just as confused but honestly I just looking for words of encouragement and advice to look forward and be the best dad and husband

Hello! Per my prior post, me and my gf are expecting our first baby. We’ve had two scans (week 6 and 8) and everything seemed to be perfectly fine. However, as she is now entering the end of the first trimester, symptoms are subsiding. I’m aware they often do, but how do/did you guys cope with the uncertainty of the periods between scans? My mind is of course equaling no symptoms with no baby…

I guess it’s quite pronounced atm as a close friend of my gf just lost her baby at 7 weeks.

My fiance left one day while I was at work. She packed everything and moved out and blocked me on everything she is pregnant. It’s not my baby but I still stepped up since day one. She’s 25weeks now. We have been no contact for two weeks and I feel like I’m dying. We didn’t even have that many issues besides communication. I just need advice I’m at such a loss and I miss her so much.

Hi all,

Around a month ago I posted about me
being extremely miserable due to an unwanted pregnancy. Today is the first day, where I didn’t feel non-stop dread and anxiety, I even laughed a little.

To give some context, im 24 in a 1 year old relationship with a beautiful, smart, loving, successful and overall good girl. We have many differences but we manage to communicate well and tackle them quite effectively. The relationship is objectively good.

I still don’t know if she is my soulmate as I am
not typically the one to “fall madly in love” with people, but even being separated for a day or two makes me
miss her. This was never the case with previous relationships as I remember that I was genuinely happy when my ex would leave town.

I still have doubts about my current girl but I do
acknowledge the fact that I have undiagnosed anxiety and my brain tends to lean on the negatives of every situation (my relationship included). I have decided to start working on that and attend therapy.

I always wanted to be a dad but not at 25, I wanted it to be after 30 so I would have the time to grow professionally and to explore my life in terms of art, sports and traveling. When I first found out that I will be becoming a dad, my first thought was that my life is over due to losing my freedom to pursue my interests. Now I think that I can still do these things but I would need better time management and would need to put off traveling for a while (but thats okay).

The past month I was losing my shit, each day became
harder and I was going mad. Non-stop anxiety, non-stop stress, sadness, depression, hopelessness, absolute hell on earth. I started to hate myself, my life and even my girl a little because she said we are keeping it. I felt trapped, forced into a life I didn’t want, forced to grow up and to give up on myself. I felt I wasn’t ready, that I would fuck up, that my kid would be damaged because of me, that I would completely lose my mind before they are even born.

I wanted it later, I wanted it with someone with whom I had spent more time with, I wanted it when I was a better human being. I wanted it when life was perfect, which I realize it would never have happened. I would never have been ready, nor the best version of myself, or fully confident in me, my relationship and life trajectory. I would have went under that stress regardless (maybe to a lesser extent but still).

Yesterday I had a break down. And although this happened every 3 days, yesterday I had a pretty important conversation with myself. I said to myself that I will use this situation to grow. I will give this kid and my girl my all. I will be present, loving, affectionate. I will provide and be a responsible father. I will find meaning in being a great dad, boyfriend, and human being in general.
I will continue with art and will be able to share my works with my kid in the future. I will continue with sports events and will be able to share those results and memories with my kid. I will start that business and will make my future kid proud of his dad.

My life is no over, only my egotistical way of thinking is.

My life has new meaning and it is exciting. I will adapt, overcome and find happiness even in a not so optimal situation.

I made this post because I wanted to share it with somebody. Maybe some of you are going through something similar, and I want to say that it does get better, just give yourself some time to fully comprehend the situation and go through all of the emotions. Once everything is let out, only then can you move on. And you have to, because it’s not about you anymore.

We’re first-timers due at the end of the month, in week 34 right now and they won’t let us go past 37 weeks before delivering via c-section due to size/weight concerns which are on the lower end as well as some other medical issues that are being monitored.

Managing the stress and anxiety/anticipation well enough so far, even with the weekly scans and tracking appointments.

Nursery is complete, all the gear is assembled, and hospital bags are mostly packed.

Is there anything else we should be doing? What did you do to take your mind off things to pass the time or did you try and fill it with more productive baby-related things?

Took way quicker than expected. First cycle and we did it. Spouse and I are both 33 - feeling nervous, anxious, and excited. Looking forward to taking this journey with all of you.