I’m 18F, a freshman in college, and I recently found out I’m pregnant. I’m posting because I’m genuinely torn about what to do, and I need advice from people who aren’t personally involved in my situation.
I’m currently attending college, have a 4.0 GPA, and recently joined a sorority. The father recently joined a fraternity. I’ve worked hard academically, and I have goals for my future that I’ve been looking forward to achieving. I never imagined I’d be in this position at 18, especially during my first semester of college.
We aren’t in any type of relationship. We literally met one night downtown and I would practically booty call him whenever. We ALWAYS used a condom, and as far as we both know, it never ripped or anything. The pregnancy has made an already complicated situation much more emotional because we’re both young, in college, and trying to navigate our own lives.
My last period started on August 29, and after my next period didn’t come when I expected it to, I took multiple pregnancy tests. All three were positive. At first, I was leaning toward ending the pregnancy. I was scared about how a baby would affect my education, finances, relationships, and future.
Initially, he seemed supportive of my decision to terminate. After we discussed things further and I had an ultrasound appointment, he seemed affected by the situation, but I couldn’t tell exactly what he was feeling.
I’ve also struggled with feeling like I’m the one initiating most of our conversations about the pregnancy. I wanted him to be present, to check on me, and to show some interest in what I’m going through without me having to ask repeatedly.
There have been conversations where he apologized and acknowledged my feelings, and he has said he wants updates about everything going on. He also gave me $100 after initially saying he’d help financially with the termination .
More recently, he asked me why I had decided I might want to keep the baby and what the plan would be now. I’ve tried to explain that I’m sure of my feelings, even though I’m still processing everything. But when I sent him a message about wanting him to be more present, he didn’t respond for a long time, even while appearing active on social media.
I eventually told him, “I guess that I can conclude the plan won’t involve you.”
At this point, I’m starting to accept that I may have to make my plans around what I can do for myself rather than what I hope he’ll do. I don’t want to make a decision about my pregnancy based on whether a man chooses to be involved.
The biggest thing that’s changed is that I can actually picture having this baby. I think about meeting my child, being their mom, and getting to know the little person growing inside me. Sometimes, the thought of ending the pregnancy makes me emotional because I genuinely want my baby.
But wanting my baby and knowing whether I’m prepared to raise a child at 18 are two different things.
I’m trying to think realistically about college, housing, childcare, money, my support system, and the possibility of being a single mother. I don’t want to romanticize motherhood or pretend that love alone will make everything work out. I also don’t want to end a pregnancy I genuinely want simply because I’m scared of the circumstances.
I have worked hard to get where I am academically. I’m proud of my 4.0 GPA, and joining my sorority was something I was excited about. I don’t want to lose myself or give up on my future. At the same time, I don’t want to assume that having a child automatically means my future is over.
I keep going back and forth between what I originally planned to do and what I’m beginning to feel now.
I’m not looking for people to shame me or make the decision for me. I know that ultimately, it’s my decision. I just want honest perspectives from people who understand that this isn’t as simple as saying I’m too young or telling me to follow my heart.
I love the idea of being this baby’s mother, but I’m scared. I want to make a decision I can live with, and I want to be honest with myself about what each choice would mean.

UPDATE⚠️⚠️
After reading manyyy comments, I’ve decided that I will carry on with the termination. This is not an easy decision, but my mind know it’s the best. I was mostly scared and sad to practically say “Bye” to someone I was “supposed” to nurture. But two things can happen at once, I can realize that I can’t take care of a child while also realizing that I’m allowed to grieve a life that I could’ve “chose.” Thank you to everyone for all the support. I’m hoping that this whole experience gets settled soon, I’ve just been overeating and sleeping lol. I plan to have some type of intimate ceremony regarding my baby. From now on, everything is through them. I’m sorry to them for my lack of everything, consequently causing them to be terminated, but I’ll live through them for this new stage of life. I need to give myself grace, this is definitely a life lesson. Side note, before finding out I was pregnant, I was so confused on why it felt like everyone was “walking” away from me. But I think everything happens for a reason. Wtv you believe in God, the Universe, etc. It set me up to learn a deeper depth within myself, that I never knew existed. Obviously, I’m still in the depths of guiding myself through this and will need this guidance for a time after the termination. It’s just crazy how everything happens for a reason, lol. I know I got this. I’ll continue to do everything I planned on and find my true self. Thank you everyone for the kind and thought-provoking words.❤️

You can probably get a temporary disabled parking pass!

I had pretty significant pubis symphysis pain my first pregnancy and i just kind of grinned and bore it (i did see a physical therapist for it) and i remember thinking how nice it would nice it would be to have a disabled parking pass, but i didnt think pelvic pain would qualify.

Well, this pregnancy i have pelvic pain again and my husband insisted I at least check. And it turns out pelvic girlde pain is a widely accepted reason to qualify for a temporary disabled pass!

I'm sure each state is slightly different, but i just had to have my midwife sign off on a form from the DMV and give me a letter on official letterhead. I took those to a licensing office and got my pass. It has made life a lot easier when walking almost any distance is somewhat painful. Hope this helps someone else!

I'm four months postpartum and I had a vaginal delivery with episiotomy. I know I shoud go to my gynecologist regarding the questions I'm about to ask here but I had the worst experience with her. She scolded me a lot during my 23 hours long labour, undermined the pain I was experiencing and kept on saying to my husband and other doctors around me yeh itna overreact kyun kar rahi hai. I know she has been delivering babies for an extremely long time but it was my first time and she shouldn't have said all those things. So I don’t want to see her again regarding my issues.

Now coming to my queries, my doctor never mentioned where the episiotomy scar was and I was stupid enough to never ask her. Google tells me that it can be median or mediolateral. I have looked down there multiple times, taken pictures, asked my husband to look at it but I can't find the location of the scar. My husband says that it looks just like before and there is nothing different or a noticeable scar. I have always shaved my body hair and started with laser. I want to restart laser but I'm not sure if I should or not. If I end up shaving then how do I bypass my episiotomy site when I don't even know where it is?

My next question is regarding intercourse after episiotomy. How long should I wait? I have been feeling a high libido ever since my delivery and I abd UTI and infections throughout my pregnancy so it's been a long dry spell for both me and my husband. My husband recently started hinting at having sex. I also want to but I'm super scared. Is it safe? I have heard that the episiotomy makes that area tight and not elastic. People on reddit are sating to massage the area with some organic oil. Is that a safe practice?

This is my only pregnancy that has ever made it far enough for the NIPT draw. I was incredibly nervous.

I've been having these crazy dreams about a little girl with blue eyes and curly dark brown hair. Exactly like my husband and his late mother. They were so real, I woke up from them just sobbing. I tried so hard not to take them as premonitions, but....

My baby is a low-risk GIRL!!!! I was so convinced I was wrong. I'd have been thrilled with a little boy, but the fact that my dreams have come true regarding the gender is INSANE to me!

I made a whole post about it like 20-30 days ago asking if anyone experienced something similar and I just cannot believe I was right.

My sweet Nellie girl. We are so ready for you. 😭💕

I am currently 26 weeks along with our first baby and I feel like the floor just dropped out from under me. I have worked as a remote operations specialist for a mid-sized tech company for nearly two years. I am the primary breadwinner in our household while my partner finishes up his vocational certificate. When I was hired, the recruiting handbook had all the classic vague fluff about "family-first culture" and "work-life harmony", so I assumed there was a standard parental leave protocol in place. Yesterday afternoon I finally set up a call with HR to request the formal paperwork and map out coverage for late summer.

The HR rep gave me a completely blank look and informed me that because our firm has under 50 employees within a 75-mile radius, they are legally exempt from FMLA. She then casually explained that they do not carry any short-term disability plan either. Her actual solution with a totally straight face was: "You can use your two weeks of accrued PTO, and after that, if you cannot work a full 40-hour schedule from home, you will need to submit a voluntary resignation and reapply for open roles when you feel ready to come back." I was so stunned that I just sat staring at my screen before muttering an ok and sobbing uncontrollably.

I am completely terrified. Resigning means forfeiting our family health coverage right when the baby is born, not to mention putting us in immediate financial jeopardy. I genuinely cannot believe a company can look a full-time employee in the eye and say "take 14 days off and get back to your laptop or you lose your job". Has anyone navigated this nightmare with an FMLA-exempt small employer? Did you manage to negotiate an unpaid leave of absence to hold your position, or should I be reaching out to an employment lawyer before sending my next email?

For context - I am 34 and expecting my first baby.

My biological father died 11 years ago, and my mum has had some unstable relationships since but has seemed to settle with a man for the past few years.

Due to other issues that arent worth going into, my mum has always kept him 'protected' treated him like a child, not allowed me and my brother to bond with him etc etc. Therefore I literally dont know him, he is like a acquaintance (She has emotional issues and has severe enmeshement with my brother, long story).

Anyway, my mum has already said about how he is looking forward to being a 'grandad' and i cant help but feel really angry towards this thought. He isnt the grandad. I dont know him and my real dads memory is just forgotten about. There are some other issues and underlying trauma but basically

How do I navigate this, she will want the label of grandad i dont want him to have the label and its also confusing for the baby. Its like my mum wants to be able to recreate a family unit with him

Hi everyone! ❤️
First of all, I wish you all a happy and healthy pregnancy!
I had an appointment with my OB-GYN yesterday. I’m almost 34 weeks pregnant and I’ve gained 18 kg (40 lbs) so far. I know this is more than recommended. I’m not trying to justify it, but I honestly didn’t start eating much more until the last few weeks. Before that I wasn’t particularly hungry and I ate pretty much as I normally would. During the summer especially I ate a lot of fruit and vegetables, I practically lived on watermelon.
Yesterday my OB-GYN told me that I urgently need to stop gaining weight. Also, I have complained about having back pain between my shoulder blades. She told me that it could be coming from my stomach. Then she added that maybe I had caused it myself by gaining so much weight. Honestly that felt a little blaming 😒 (because keep in mind I still have skinny arms, no boobs at all and overall skinny frame, except for the obvious belly LOL)
She also told me that I’ve increased my risk of complications during delivery because of my weight gain. She shared that she has struggled with her weight her entire life because her mother had undiagnosed gestational diabetes during pregnancy. Apparently she believes that this is why she ended up being somewhat overweight herself. She said if I dont stop eating I could do the same thing to my baby?
For context I weighed 64 kg (141 lbs) before pregnancy and I’m 5'8" (173 cm) tall. I’m otherwise perfectly healthy and my glucose tolerance test came back completely normal.
I left the appointment feeling overwhelmed. I understand that I’ve gained more than the recommended amount. I’m not denying that. But I’ve been feeling well throughout my pregnancy and my baby is doing well too.
I’d love to hear from women who gained around 18–20 kg during pregnancy. How did your pregnancy and delivery go? Did your OB-GYN react similarly? And how was your postpartum recovery?
I’m not looking for judgment or trying to dismiss medical advice. I’d just really appreciate hearing some real-life experiences from women who have been in a similar situation.

My baby does not sleep easily and cries a lot through the night. Do not know what to do how can I improve his experience of sleeping also he doesn't like to be swaddled he kicks in gets restless the only time we have success with him being swaddled is when he's actively sleeping when put down. Please suggest.

So we're due in January and I am already losing sleep over the whole going back to work at 12 weeks situation! I asked HR what the pumping setup was going to look like and they gave us the classic "we'll figure something out" which is obviously not a plan. My job has me on my feet all day long and the only room with a door is the one the printer lives in... needless to say not exactly private!

I've been looking into wearable pumps because of all of this and the one I keep coming back to is the eufy S1 Pro (it seems like it would fix the whole carrying parts around problem) but I dont even understand what makes one pump different from another so part of me is convinced im about to panic buy the wrong thing 😬 My mom keeps telling me I'm getting ahead of myself and that babies never come when you expect them which believe me is not helpful either way! I havent figured out flanges yet and I haven't told work I'll need to pump there. If you work somewhere with basically zero accommodations I'd love to hear how you handled that conversation... and whether you waited until after the baby to sort the pump out! We shall see 🤞

He will make it to 37 weeks, which beats the worst case scenario of being induced today when my OB had me admitted during my scheduled appointment but I just am not ready to give up growing him, feeling his kicks and hiccups inside of me, and I am so scared forcing him out before it’s his natural time, even knowing 37 isn’t that bad. I’ve loved this process and I just hate it being taken away so soon.

He is passing his NST with flying colors, I mostly physically feel great even. I have energy and the only bad things are back ache, swollen feet, and heartburn. But my labs are showing increased stress on me, and have been, and my BP has been borderline for a couple months as is and was even higher today. So I get mitigating the risks of things turning south but I am just blaming my every move right now and mourning that this has an early end. I’m just not ready :(

Hello! Im really struggling to find pants/trousers i can lounge in at home. I have a couple with full panel but sometimes i dont want full panel. Under the bump also seems uncomfortable. I get uncomfortable with tight waist bands that feel like they are digging in to my skin! Are there any stretchy comfy pants for at home (not leggings, not jeans)
Is them having pockets asking for too much?
Also all the legging style pants (G4 free etc) are so hot to wear all the time.
I have tried so many, nothing is working 😭 23 weeks pregnant right now

Located in the US.

We were recommended a local Pediatrician’s office by a friend. When we called they mentioned that they will typically have patients rotate through their Nurse Practitioners as well as the Dr for visits.

We requested to just see the Dr. and have a few reasons for this. Having a child rotate their care physician makes establishing a relationship between them harder.

And I know education isn’t everything, but Dr’s have much more stringent education and residency requirements, so we prefer to see them over the NP’s.

They stated they would discuss our request with the Dr and called back saying the Dr. states that unfortunately that arrangement would not work. Their reasoning is that the Dr. works different hours than the NP’s.

That sounds like a cop out to me because we can certainly accommodate our visits to their schedule.

So my question is, should we just look for another option or is this arrangement common and we just need to accept it?

I am posting here to get a perspective from pregnant women, or the partners.

I am a single mom of a 2 year old girl and have no village/ family. I am also studying online so I have a lot of responsibilities. Now I live next door to a family with a 2 year old boy. We are nice to each other when we meet, but we are not super close friends. They have never even been inside my home.

Recently, the mother (which is heavily pregnant ~38+ weeks) asked if I could watch her son when she goes to the hospital to give birth. At first I said yes because I thought it would just be for a few hours. They also don’t have a village since they are immigrants and have no extended families.

Then I realized that giving birth takes time. A hospital stay can easily take 2 to 3 days, or even longer. Taking care of my own child, my university studies, and someone else's toddler for several days is just impossible for me.
Over the last few days, she started calling me every day to drink coffee or set up playdates. I think she realized her son does not know me well, so she tried to quickly build a bond before going to the hospital. I understand she is stressed, but it put a lot of pressure on me.
So I sent her a polite text. I told her I can happily keep her son for 24 hours at my house. But if she stays in the hospital longer, I cannot watch him more multiple days because of my responsibilities. I suggested that another neighbor and I could split the days to share the work. She replied nicely and said she completely understands and will look at other options like her being alone at the hospital instead.

Even though she was understanding, I feel very guilty. I keep thinking about how scared she might be at the hospital and how much she needs her husband there, and him forced to leave her because they don’t have child care. They are also super lovely people .

How would you feel as a pregnant woman needing help like this but someone refuses to watch your kid?

Am I being selfish for not stepping up for more than a day when a woman is in need and in a vulnerable place?

I’m a big believer in hand written thank you notes and was so proud I got all of mine done and sent before baby came.

I’ve started receiving some gifts after baby was born, which I appreciate just as much. However, I have no idea when I’d write thank you notes. For two of my aunts, I sent them a thank you text and said a real thank you note was coming and they both said we know you’re busy so don’t worry about it.

Well my MIL just came to visit and brought gifts from some of her friends, some of whom I’ve never met. Of course I appreciate any gift, but she keeps saying “make sure to write your thank you notes so I can take them back with me.” Maybe it’s annoying me more that it feels like my MIL is nagging me as a fully grown woman, but I just think you should expect a brand new mom to be focused on thank you notes when you send a gift after the baby is born. Those gifts were also for her grandson, so could she send a little note?

Am I totally off base here?

This is my first pregnancy and second attempt at the glucose test since they ended up being out of the glucose drink at my first appointment. I've been nervous about it for weeks, here's hoping I still get to eat my comfort ice cream after today!

Found out I’m pregnant, still early but at least 3+ weeks in. This would be my second and I’ve been dealing with the opposite than I did with my son - emotional, fast food being a trigger, not tired) and so on and so on. I was 22 with him and in my “party” phase but I quit and didn’t even think about yet with this and I barely even drink 1 night out of the month and even then that hangover the next day reminds me I’m getting to old for this lol. But I have the biggest craving for cocktails. Not even the alcohol part but the fizzy and citrus part, the sweetness that right juice cannot fulfill. I’ve been craving juice so bad, can’t stand pop right now but I’ve drank Kool Aid, peace juice, different types of fruit punch and apple and even orange juice and nothing has been hitting that urge and I’ve come to the conclusion I think this might be the reason. I’ve never experienced this and I’ve tried looking up “mocktails” but they’re all mock versions for cocktails I never liked. So I have no clue how I’m going to kick this craving… or if this is even normal to feel.

Ps, sorry if my name is offensive. I was young and dumb lol

First time mom, 35 weeks pregnant. Should I have my baby bottles and pump parts sanitized + ready to use? Or should I wait to do this once I need it? This might be totally unrealistic expectations but I’m hoping I don’t need to pump or use bottles at all! I’m praying I can just breast feed exclusively/on demand.

So I’m considered high-risk because of my age and history of hypertension (even though my blood pressure has been normal this entire pregnancy), and my OB doesn’t want to deliver past my due date because my baby is measuring on the bigger side. They are having me go in next week to get things started and told me since this is my first baby that induction could take a while..like maybe 24 hours even.

Any advice on what to expect, what to bring, etc? I’m planning on having pain management when the time comes..probably an epidural at some point. I’m kind of winging it and figuring it out on the fly though. I trust my OB so I didn’t want to get too caught up in feeling the need to control everything since I really have no clue what I even want.

Anyways, I’m curious if anyone has anything to share that might be good to know going in to this. Thanks so much!

I've been having horrific insomnia for the past couple weeks, averaging about 4 hours a night of broken sleep as someone with a brain injury who usually has high sleep needs. It's gotten to the point where 4am rolls around and the dark thoughts spiral. I have had depression and anxiety my entire life, and previously stabilized on a low dose of Zoloft before getting pregnant for prevention.

Clearly that dose is no longer working and needs to go up, but that can take 4-6 weeks to feel real effect. I'm afraid that if I have to deal with even one more night of sleep like this I will be unable to cope.

I've been put on a 72 hour old as a teen, so I've been avoiding bringing up the extent of my struggle because I know how it goes. But what really happens if I am honest?

I’m 3 months postpartum and my god I just feel so ugly. I am not coming here for “I’m sure you look fine!” encouragement, I need actual recommendations on how to feel cuter in my body and face ASAP- without Botox or GLP1’s which I can’t do while breastfeeding.

I got my hair done, I spent money on clothes that fit my body which is 50 lbs heavier now, I’m doing personal training to get back into shape, but my skin and under eyes look atrocious and my eyes are dry and red, my hair is falling out… I need a lil something.

What made you feel better postpartum? I’m willing to spend a reasonable amount of money to feel better

hi! one of my best friends is about 6 months pregnant (due in january) and has been having a pretty rough time lately. she had a preterm labor scare last week and ended up being hospitalized, but thankfully she’s doing okay now and has just been told to take it easy. she’s also dealing with a bunch of family bs on top of everything.
i’m going over to her place tomorrow and spending the night, and i’d really like to do something nice for her! i want us to have a cozy, relaxing girls’ night with some skincare, snacks, and just general self care/pampering vibes.
i’d love to put together a little self care basket for her too, but i want to make sure i don’t accidentally get anything that could be unsafe for her or the baby. i was thinking sheet masks, lip masks, lotions, fuzzy socks, that sort of thing, but i’m not sure what skincare ingredients or products to avoid during pregnancy.
i’d also really love to hear from anyone who’s been pregnant, especially around this stage! what little things made you feel more comfortable or pampered? anything you really appreciated or wished someone had gotten you?
i’m open to any ideas! i want her to feel loved and taken care of for a little while. thanks!!