Tl;dr - y’all need to talk lol. But I think some simple communication between the 2 of you can fix this!
I understand this is mildly infuriating for you, but I imagine your solutions are equally infuriating for her.
Clearly she likes to be able to see the things and grab them.
And also, you bought her storage that isn’t easily accessible for the products she has. Most of her products are tall and require standing up. The storage you bought has short drawers where things would have to lay down.
So with this storage she can’t see the items (which she clearly wants/needs to be able to see them), and she has to store them “improperly” (many items like that work best when standing up; some also will leak if laid on their sides).
Did she have a say in the items you purchased?
And if not, has she been able to communicate that the type of storage you purchased is the reason she continues to put things on top?
Exactly, I can see his partner thinking, "Well, this kind of works...these don't fit but I guess they can go on top... man this drawer is so low, I don't want to pull stuff out of that every day..."
Like, does OP keep his shower stuff in a drawer, or easily visible and accessible? If the latter, he should understand how frustrating his "solutions" could be.
Girls NEED to stop being lied to by big beauty that 7 layers of cosmetics is going to make their skin healthy. You have men barely wash their faces and have objectively healthier skin than these women using a foaming cleanser, micelar water, toner, moisturizer, sunscreen, retinols, slug mucin, and 6 layers of makeup. Don’t get me started on “probiotic” skin care with zero live cultures.
You have men barely wash their faces and have objectively healthier skin
Men love telling themselves that, while walking around with oily, rough, skin, while I'm here acne free, with skin so soft to the touch every person who touched it remarked on it.
Does everyone need 20 step routine? No, a big part of it is commercialism. Do you need far more than hand wash to keep healthy, soft, skin that isn't going to wrinkle any time soon? Absolutely yes.
probably same men who refuses to wash their bootyhole because they may catch TheGay!tm and I bet have "clean legs" because the water trickle down from their face. and heck, why even use a washcloth and loofah?!
I’m working on getting my SO to use face wash and a daytime moisturizer with sunscreen. He’ll do it without me saying something, but he hasn’t accepted that it’s an every day thing yet. And I get with the moisturizer that it’s a change, you go from nothing to something it feels different. But like, get used to it to an extent if you don’t want to be pre-aged by 40.
I have very clear skin because I don’t wear makeup. Just wash my face in my 10-minute shower and have a bottle of plain moisturizer for after. No eyeliners, no mascara; no hair dryer, just let it dry naturally wavy or cut it short.
You know how many men complain I don’t look feminine enough?
That detailed skin care routine is the price of makeup. Lengthy showers and time after are the price of long hair and fancier hair styles. The bigger closets and jewelry and many shoes the price of keeping multiple sharp-looking outfits for every occasion. I don’t do all that because it’s not my thing. But man, I swear women are damned if they do damned if they don’t.
I’ve never once heard a man tell a woman to put on some makeup or do something fancy with her hair. I have had a TON of female friends over the years. Never heard a single one complain about a man saying this either. We appreciate when you ladies out effort into looking nice, but we also love your ponytails and sweat when we’re on a hike.
I have male friends who think this way, but I have also been told quite directly I should “look more feminine” or that I’d do better in corporate if I wore makeup. While I prefer hanging around men who are regular just people who don’t do this sort of thing, those entitled men do still exist. And the worst of them tend to crawl out of the woodwork when their more decent friends aren’t watching.
Self care routines are an important aspect of mental health. They can take many forms. Weird of you to judge one routine just because it's not what you do.
came to say this
I am a person who needs to see it for it to exist, none of my storage hides things away. A partner who needs everything hidden away and one who needs their stuff visible is the sort of death by a thousand cuts compatibility stuff that people never think about but is way more important than it seems
Exactly, and we all know what happens when we put some items flat... They leak creating a giant mess, they are sometimes harder to organize (smelly lotion/Spritz), the product is no longer at the bottom, etc....
ok but assuming she's an adult, why is it on OP to solve this problem instead of her responsibility to be courteous with how she uses the limited available space ?
It would bother me so much if I was op's partner and saw this post, I would be like I'm sorry that the way I exist in the world and live my life annoys you so much. I'd feel like such a burden, and an inconvenience for them, just because I want to be able to easily access my belongings.
Sometimes you need to stop looking at silly things like that as an annoyance, and accept it as an endearing part of your partner. Or put things away yourself, and tell your partner where you put them, because some things just don't matter that much. My ex wife never used to make me feel bad for being like that, and instead would just put shit away, giggle at me, and tell me she loved me.
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u/alison_bee 17d ago edited 17d ago
Tl;dr - y’all need to talk lol. But I think some simple communication between the 2 of you can fix this!
I understand this is mildly infuriating for you, but I imagine your solutions are equally infuriating for her.
Clearly she likes to be able to see the things and grab them.
And also, you bought her storage that isn’t easily accessible for the products she has. Most of her products are tall and require standing up. The storage you bought has short drawers where things would have to lay down.
So with this storage she can’t see the items (which she clearly wants/needs to be able to see them), and she has to store them “improperly” (many items like that work best when standing up; some also will leak if laid on their sides).
Did she have a say in the items you purchased?
And if not, has she been able to communicate that the type of storage you purchased is the reason she continues to put things on top?