I don't have ADHD. Just stating because everyone else is stating that they do.
What I am/was a messy person. I didn't out stuff away because I couldn't be bothered
I agree with the ADHD people. This isn't messy. I know messy. These things are sort of organized, clean, tidy. There aren't used makeup wipes and random brushes lying all over. There aren't open palettes and hairspray caps everywhere.
This is visibility. Object permanence.
Someone suggested shelves. Try clear faces on the drawers. Some clear acrylic organizer boxes for the tops of the surfaces. She's probably never going to have an empty Spartan area, but meet her where she is to keep things organized in a way that first make you nuts. Also, hooks for styling tools will make that part less messy.
Same here. I'm either just a messy person or have undiagnosed ADHD. Nothing there is dirty. It's just a lot of different products with different uses. Get plastic/acrylic bins or baskets that are about half the height of the products. Everything will still be easily accessible, but it will be contained to its own area
Ya everything is clean so it doesn't bother me. It looks like it is used regularly and the surface it is on is so this is just messy not dirty. My dad who is autistic though would think this is the equivalent of having a piece of shit out (though he can not see dust or dirt).
I didn't say the person is feral -- and let's be clear, the person I was referring to was me, and if I want to call myself feral I'm well within my rights to do so -- I implied the mess feral. Feral as undomesticated and wild. Most wild animals, even if they are organized, are still pretty messy, as are their caches of stashed items. Ants aren't stacking things in boxes. Bees are very organized, but there's still honey everywhere. Squirrels bury their stuff all over the place. Even corvids who collect the shiny things aren't stacking them in neat little rows; they're scattering them about in away that makes sense to them, but is mess to the average onlooker.
The items themselves aren't feral either. It's the organizing system.
It's not that deep, and it's an impressive feat of gymnastics to take what I said as offensive
Yes, visibility! I have to see my things to remember they exist and use them. It also drives my partner nuts sometimes, but I try to use a tray to corral it and define its space.
"visibility" AKA convenience, at the expense of anyone else who shares this space. it's horrific clutter that could be mitigated by keeping a few things in a cabinet and you're defending it through infantilization by saying "yeah but this way it's visible" as if object permanence isn't fully developed in literal toddlers. and then arguing semantics on whether it truly constitutes a mess because hey, at least she didn't smear cosmetics everywhere.
Why is viewing the world differently from you considered childish. There are people who have brains the didn't completely develop the parts of the brain that handle object permanence.
And getting cosmetics everywhere isn't childish. You tap a brush off to remove excess powdered product. Professional makeup artists even do that. The product lands somewhere and accumulates if not cleaned up. It's a fact of using makeup, unless you're an absolute noob you'll do it too.
I never said that doing those things was childish. I said that making excuses for her behavior is infantilization. What I meant by that is, you're assuming she has reduced agency or competency in order to muddy the water about their culpability. You and plenty of others are invoking ADHD symptoms to excuse the clutter, with no reason to assume anyone here has ADHD. I've known plenty of neurotypicals who just never learned to pick up after themselves.
You're also arguing semantics about mess vs. clutter, which IMO is irrelevant, the point is that the space is inconvenient and unpleasant to use as a result of one person's behavior, which I find selfish, and yes, kind of childish. Finally, the makeup point is just a red herring. Sooo you clean your makeup brush and don't leave product everywhere. Excellent, gold star. Has nothing to do with the clutter. "Why are you mad, I could have done something worse" is not a very convincing excuse.
As for object permanence, you may want to read up on that. I can't find one documented case of an adult growing up without it. That would be so debilitating you'd need a caretaker for life, assuming you lived past like age 12. Maybe you mean the like "oopsy, out of sight, out of mind" type of thing. If so, my question would be, do all of your dishes and spices and everything else sit out on the kitchen counter? If not, do they cease to be accessible or useful to you? Probably not right? We put that stuff away so the space is useable for others. I'm making the apparently controversial assertion that the same should generally be true for the bathroom.
I have to agree with this. I am/was a makeup girly. I cannot fathom needing ALL of that stuff out. The things you use on a daily, or even weekly basis? Sure. But nobody needs 87 bottles of hairspray.
Boyfriend does this with shower gel. We currently have give bottles of shower gel open. WHY. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. Just use a bottle, finish it, and then open a new one. I bought a bottle of it in candy body wash last Christmas that I was going to open when we were out of shower gel. It's still not open. ARGH
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u/digitalgraffiti-ca 17d ago
I don't have ADHD. Just stating because everyone else is stating that they do.
What I am/was a messy person. I didn't out stuff away because I couldn't be bothered
I agree with the ADHD people. This isn't messy. I know messy. These things are sort of organized, clean, tidy. There aren't used makeup wipes and random brushes lying all over. There aren't open palettes and hairspray caps everywhere.
This is visibility. Object permanence.
Someone suggested shelves. Try clear faces on the drawers. Some clear acrylic organizer boxes for the tops of the surfaces. She's probably never going to have an empty Spartan area, but meet her where she is to keep things organized in a way that first make you nuts. Also, hooks for styling tools will make that part less messy.