"I noticed she put stuff on clear surfaces rather than in storage and the clutter annoys me, so I bought her more storage she's proven not to use with clear surface on top that she then put things on top of, which she's shown is her habit.
"Then, after confirming that she will indeed ignore storage and fill surfaces I proceeded to buy a BIGGER amount of storage, which has proven to be ineffective, and EVEN MORE surface for her to clutter and annoy me with. It truly amazes me, even still " - OP
OP, what you need to buy are baskets, surface organisers or use this as an excuse to buy a 3D printer and print custom storage.
This is the exact reason for this battle in my house 😭 I skipped my meds for four days last week because my husband cleared the kitchen countertop and they just didn't exist anymore
Yeah I knew it was going to be a mistake to put my prescriptions and vitamins in my hallway closet cabinet. I was taking g them every day when I had them on my living room bookshelf but it just looks so cluttered
I have a system. I put it all on the counter and then when I take them, I put them back into the cabinet next to the coffee and then each morning I take it back out when I take out my coffee.
I got this from dollar tree and I keep it on my nightstand with the bottles of meds so I can refill it every Saturday night when I empty it. It’s also right where I put my glasses (which my blind ass can’t go without) so I always see it. Throughout the week when I take my bedtime meds I put them back as pictured so I know I finished that day. I also always check the morning side when taking my nighttime ones to make sure I took my adhd meds because I don’t trust myself. So far I haven’t missed one since I got this, so at least there’s that lol
If this doesn't work for you, totes understand, but can you put them in something book related? Like if you read novels with dragons, put your meds in box with a dragon on it, & if feasible add a scroll asking if you've taken your meds today? So it's "decor" not "clutter". Plus with 3-d printing you could maybe have the dragon, looking at a squirrel, standing on letters that spell out ADHD.
Can you set an alarm on your phone? I have an alarm for each time of day I need to take my meds and label it "AM meds" "PM meds" or what-have-you, and I snooze the alarm until I actually take them. That way I have a reminder even if I don't see them
Ah yes, my vitamins and my protein powder are conspicuously placed for just this reason. Weirdly though, no matter where I hide the chocolate I still manage to find it in an emergency...
Shit. Gotta take my meds. It’s literally the only thing on my kitchen table. I put it in a basket to make it look nicer and I keep forgetting the meds are in the basket. 😩
My sister bought a shoe rack for our tiny (like 3 feet wide max) front hall because she didn't want any shoes on the floor, although she loves putting her shoes right behind the front door so it can't open all the way. She put a bunch of my shoes on there, so when I replaced some of the older ones on my usual timeline, I didn't get rid of the old ones. My brain said the ones on the rack couldn't be mine because I wasn't the one who moved them. Now she's complaining because most of the shoes on the rack are apparently mine (because she keeps putting them there). I can stare at the shoes on there and say which ones are mine, but I can't make my brain consider them when deciding what to keep, discard, or use.
Because of that rack, there are now 10+ pairs of shoes in our front hallway instead of 4-5.
My (new) doctor refused to fill my prescription (from my previous doc) because he's worried about the addictive effects of stimulants and he didn't think my symptoms were actually a reflection of ADHD. I told him not to worry, I had about six months saved up from all the times I've forgotten them.
It's almost impossible to get a new doctor where I am so life's gonna be annoying once I officially run out in like 8 years I guess.
I feel it. I literally have one blister at each place I usually spent time at because if I don’t, chances are high I don’t take them. Even then chances are high I don’t if I forget to refill
I too leave mine out on the kitchen counter to remember to take them. But I moved them off the coffee table where they used to sit so I call it improvement
I love when people try to tell me the meds are addictive and I'm like "oh shit! Yeah I'm supposed to take those today!" then a few hours later I still have not, in fact, taken those.
The feeling when you remember that you forgot your ADHD medication in the morning because you weren't medicated yet, so you ADHD distracted you from taking your ADHD medication, and now it's too late in the day because it's a stimulant. Ugh.
Oh I have a phone alarm for it (and about 20 other things throughout the day). I made the mistake of clicking it off before I went in the room though and then promptly did something else that was not find and take the meds. Day 5 of this my husband actually asked what I was doing standing in the middle of the kitchen with a blue-screened brain though and we had a good laugh about it when we figured it out. 😅🤷🏻♀️
Oh lol that is pretty funny but also I imagine frustrating. Reminds me of how sometimes if I go over a check list in my head my brain will consider that as I have done it so then I end up not doing it... I am pretty sure I have some form of ADHD but I have never been diagnosed.
100% my mom gets mad that my pill bottles are on the bathroom counter but them being in a spot I can't ignore is the thing that ensures I actually take my meds.
Every single morning. If I don't have my keys, watch, cell, backpack within site. I will forget. I have walked out the door with no coat, no keys, no wallet just in my own head. Get to the car, ahhh fuck, back upstairs.
Near every night before bed as well. Upstairs, forgot something, downstairs, upstairs, forgot something etc l.
It's the reason why even though all of the multivitamins go in the cabinet, I needed to leave the ones my housemate used every day on the dining table.
I keep meds by my bed or on my desk(wfh) and have alarms on my phone for certain ones that are not taken right when I get up or right when I go to sleep. Helps to make sure I take them everyday.
For stuff that needs to be stored away we put up post-its/ signs around the house. Like taking meds now that we have a kid, plus an alarm on my phone for mine - SO and I are both ADHD.
I'm the same way. I use a weekly pill organizer and put it on top of my microwave which is under the cabinet our dishes are in. It's the only way I can make sure I see it everyday without my husband making it disappear thinking he's cleaning.
I don't have any diagnosis, but I am also the same. Can't see it, doesn't exist, so I have baskets/trays for daily things and category boxes for when I remember something like a random craft. I can pull a clear box out for a few days/weeks then stash it away again.
I recently bought a ton of clear boxes for when we moved house. My partner was confused why I'd spend so much money on boxes, and said we could just use cardboard.
I tried to explain that we can use them for categorising stuff and my endless hobbies. I'll be able to see inside and so it'll be stored away but I won't totally forget about it. They finally agreed.
We have since moved and, in true ADHD fashion, a third of the boxes are still not unpacked, a third are empty because they were filled with valuable decor and such, and the final third are haphazardly semi filled with vague categories.
Yes! It's one less step you need to take when the desire to sort them actually hits. Usually I don't start projects because it feels so daunting, so breaking it down and doing them in smaller steps is usually how I try to approach it.
Cube shelves are amazing. I have adhd and ocd so throwing things in cube shelf baskets is a nice way to know where stuff is but to have it not in my face at all times. I just have to dump and I’m good
Same here. Going through my bathroom cabinets to reorganize is like Christmas. I even have a hanging rack for jewelry because if I don’t see it, I forget I own it, and I don’t wear it. If I’ve been lazy about putting laundry away, the day I finally get it done I magically own cute outfits again.
I see it all the time - it ceases to exist
I don’t see it at all - it also ceases to exist
So then I try moving it - then the memory file gets corrupted and I forget where tf it was…and then it’ll cease to exist
Okay this is the second day in a row that Reddit decides it doesn’t care that I hit enter and created a new line, it just blobs it all together. I should hop on from my laptop to see if it’s actually reformatting what I say or it just looks like that on my end. It didn’t get rid of ALL the returns/new lines/whatev, so it’s extra weird. But once again I do not have the spoons to try to fix it 🥴
One day someone will get ALL MY MONEY for giving me a ginormous kitchen where one side is nothing but a fridge that's only one gallon of milk deep & the other side is food storage that's about 2 cans deep so my husband can find things in the fridge & cabinets without asking where it is at that point in time.
It make it easier for everyone, not just the ADHD folks. You could actually see & find things before they start evolving into new life forms.
Same. Also, OP, try wall-mounted bins / shelves. That has helped me tremendously. I can still see the crap, but the surfaces are (mostly) clear. What doesn't fit on the shelves gets a pretty lil tray, and then i like to put things on it bc it's pretty.
There's lots of advice on tidying for folks like us. Clutterbug talks about this style and how to organize with it, im sure there are others
I have adhd and need my medication bottle on the kitchen bench to slap me in the face and remember to take them. Like you I can't handle mess everywhere.
I do similar to you but have the daily needed things in a basket, get it out, use it all and then I put back in the cupboard when finished. Cluttered house-cluttered mind lol.
Im guilty of not letting stuff go like I should. Result of growing up poor, I reckon. It helps me to donate stuff or sell it. My brain can't throw stuff away, it feels too wasteful, but I can absolutely donate things or throw a yard sale every few years. Women's shelters often accept donations of hygiene items, she'll have to email them as they often don't publish their location to the public for a very good reason.
I once mentioned to my therapist that I have to leave things out I'm not ready to do anything with yet, but don't want to forget about and got the, "Classic ADHD" comment.
Yup. That was quite literally my first thought here, ADHD has entered the room!
It's amazing how much stuff I have but I literally don't remember exists because I can't see it
Yup. When we bought new kitchen cabinets, I chose doors with glass in them. This was before I even knew I had ADHD too! I was like, I will not remember where things are if I can’t see it!
Yup, out of sight out of mind. I had to move the pills I take at night into my bedroom because I kept forgetting them when I had them stored even in an open rack in the bathroom, becuase its not where my line of sight was when getting ready for bed.
Same. My mom who I currently live with has OCD, and constantly is putting my stuff away in drawers and I’m constantly taking it back out. It’s a back and forth fight, though we joke about it and it’s more of an unconscious thing we both do.
Different people are different, people don’t seem to realize this.
That person rips them for just bringing in more storage, then simultaneously advises they bring in different types of storage…..
I’m in the same situation but roles reversed, this isn’t a “woman” thing. My relationship would be considered the exact opposite, where she’s obsessed with storage and I like things on the counter.
Granted I don’t own nearly that many things.
Context is important as well. In a shared/communal bathroom (that guests would use) absolutely, everting has its “proper place”.
But a private/master bath, that is simply different people being different…
Some people mind find obsessive people mildly infuriating as well, point being, OP should pick their battles. It’s not like that is a real “mess” that’s simply her version of “organization”.
I am queen of the baskets. I also like that I can move them from room to room (bring my nighttime skin care with me to the TV). My basket with micellar water and retinol has been in my living room for a month but my skincare routine is the most steady it's ever been!
So is this a good explanation as to why someone (such as myself) with ADHD lives like they’re place is kind of a mess but it’s a functional mess? Like example, my table is a collect all, I know where things are but it looks like a hoarder lives there. If I “clean” it I can’t find anything. I guess this puts things into perspective
Yes, but conversely, if someone is looking for some random thing that you only saw once, but didn't put there yourself, you'll know with near pinpoint accuracy where it is.
God help you if you try to put something in a place you'll remember it though.
Same. And it's why I keep things like medications, deodorant, and toothbrush/toothpaste near my desk/computer because I will absolutely forget to use them otherwise.
My thought too, but there’s like 45 products out on display. Seems like this could be whittled down to the handful really needed regularly. The bathroom is definitely lacking storage though. I think a wall cabinet is easier than lower drawers because you can open it and see everything easily.
I live in an "open storage" house. I've lost so much food/over bought so much because I was doing the adult thing and put things away and out of sight. I would forget about it or I would keep buying it thinking I was out.
I've given up living the aesthetic that most ppl think is the correct way. None of them pay for the mistakes 🫠
I've lost so much food/over bought so much because I was doing the adult thing and put things away and out of sight. I would forget about it or I would keep buying it thinking I was out.
This is exactly why my grocery list has "NO MORE SHREDDED CHEESE" on it.
Exactly the same for me. I hang little shelves! I have so much cabinet space that I don’t use lol. The items I need to use daily (like meds) stay visible on their shelf in my bathroom.
My son is the same. He's not diagnosed with ADHD but autism and out of sight is fully out of mind. If his clothes are in a dresser, he doesn't think about them. If they're in a haphazard pile somewhere in sight, fully aware. Granted, he's a teenager, too, so that doesn't help either...
This is why I don't really even use the drawers in my closet for everyday things. I have one drawer that has underwear and bras that perpetually stays open.
All other drawers are for special event clothing (like swimsuits or dresses) only because I would otherwise forget about what was in them and would never wear any of it.
So regular everyday clothes go on the shelves where I can see everything.
Yep. I put little mounted shelves on my bathroom walls instead of getting storage like this. I can get everything off my counters and still clearly see what I have amongst my 100 products. It's nice!
Same! I expend a lot of energy managing and masking my ADHD to be excellent at my job and on time for appointments, but at home I just create little systems that work and one of those is having stuff visible
This is why my AuDHD loves label makers. Everything has a place…
and that random pile of in progress art pieces and craft supplies is indeed cataloged in my mind it is the exception don’t look in that corner it’s my workspace shhhh it doesn’t count
Wait. Is this a sign of ADHD? I have to have everything within sight especially if I use it everyday. I’ve always felt so silly about it. Even when I’m about to use something I have to lay everything out. If I don’t do that then go over everything in my I’m guarantee to forget at least one thing.
Omg I tried to explain this to my sister when I was cleaning up my room one day and she was asking me why I left my vitamins and supplements on top of the dresser instead of putting them away and I’m like “because I won’t remember them,” and she’s like “just set an alarm,” I’m like “I’LL IGNORE THOSE!!”😂🤦🏻♀️😂
Oh man is that an ADHD thing? I really need to get assessed. I have serious object permanence issues, if I can't see it, I don't have it/it doesn't exist. I have to keep everything visible or I'll buy more of things I don't need, or I'll just forget I have it/wanted it in the first place.
We have a lot of spices and they live in a cabinet. What saves us is the little baskets we bought with handles. I can pull out the basket and everything is in a single row. I actually know what we have! A giant feat with ADHD when cabinets usually end up a cluttered black hole.
Omfg this explains so much about why I keep buying routine things and it goes great right until the moment I put it in a drawer one day and then it's gone forever.
meanwhile my ADHD allows me to have a mental rolodex of exactly where things are stored but my husband has your ADHD so nothing stays in their designated space. yes. we do actually need someone to send help 🫠🫠
But how cool is it when you discover some neat stuff from yet another abandon hobby a decade after "putting it away"?
"Oh yeah, that telescope I thought I'd have time for and all the accessories!"
"Wow, what's this rookie card worth?! This guy become a superstar!"
"I forgot what all these guitar pedals sounded like!"
Growing up, my stepdad refused to let me keep my antidepressants that I was supposed to take WITH DINNER on the kitchen counter, even after I pointed out that it was difficult for me to remember them if I couldn't see them 🙃
They were in a neat organizer, too.
Anyway, now I take everything at night and keep it by my bedside. I'll go ahead and plug Chronically Chic for attractive counter/tabletop medication storage.
Horizontal surfaces are great and also terrible for us adhd’ers. If it’s flat I’m putting things on it, you know, just for a second. I’ll get it later!
THIS!! Out of sight—it no longer exists!! We have a TON of storage in our home (and bathrooms), yet “daily” items are in baskets/bins on the countertops!
This exactly. I decided that I’m an adult and I’m allowed to leave my crap out. Idc if it looks cluttered. I will forget to brush my teeth and put on deodorant if it’s not on display.
Wow, I'm wondering if I have ADHD because I'm the same way. I sometimes end up with multiple things because I keep buying it when I can't find it or forget I had it in the first place. My husband likes to tidy up after me (I appreciate that he does) and whatever I put on that counter will cease to exist.
I have ADHD and I always know where I have last placed something no matter how illogical that place is. Now, when someone moves things or "cleans up"... 🙄😵💫
I’ve switched to clear drawers for things and lemme tell ya, life changing. I hang as many clothes as I can and use the clear Rubbermaid 3-drawer things as dressers for everything else. I have a rolling cart with 3 clear drawers I use for my makeup/hair tools/perfumes. Open shelving for games, hobby supplies, etc. If I can see it I’ll use it, and if I always have to see it I’m much more included to keep it looking nice, less it makes me anxious and hate everything about myself, my home, and my existence lol
This is a real challenge for me also. My brain: "let's just put this HERE and then we will remember to take the vitamin every day and this will be life changing!" I do not remember, life is not changed. What I need is for my husband to just give me the pill like a cat lol.
I got one of those cubby style units and used clear cubes for drawers, and a Nice(tm) counter top organizer, and honestly it hits such a good balance between ‘still visible’ and ‘neat’
Exactly. Design your storage and home organization for the life you already live with the habits you already have and THEN if you need to make changes, do those changes one at a time or you'll always revert to the previous habit.
Don't store shit away from where you use it! Make the open storage cuter so it's still in front of your face but looks more intentional and put together! Always drop stuff on this table? Put a bin there! Voila now it's on purpose!
OP is creating his own problem and solving problems for someone else when they aren't experiencing those things as problems at all. Absolutely ridiculous.
Same. I must be able to see my products . I have taken over ALL of the bathroom real-estate and ymy partner has one metre toiletries bag ( that I put under the sink in cupboard hahahaha )
But alongside ADHD I also have ocd- so my products are nearly organised on the shelves in size and as colour co-ordinated and grouped into sections ( face, hair, body ,teeth ect ) ....so it's organised chaos , this is how I live and it my bf doesn't like it , then .....sorry but I literally can't operate any differently
I always wondered if using one of those old style secretary desk would cure all my problems- roll it up to see it all then roll it down to hide it all away. Unfortunately the style of most of them just doesn’t fit me. Isn’t ADHD fun!
I think that sums me up. I’m not diagnosed but anyone who knows me says I’m ADHD. I try soooooo hard to organize and have things in their place but chaos very quickly (sometimes slowly) eventually takes over everything. I hate it but I just can’t stop.
100% this. As a life-long messy person, meeting halfway is more effective. A bunch of those shallow bamboo boxes in various sizes Tetrised into large bamboo trays keeps things visible but neat. Add a few cosmetics jars for cotton pads and Qtips, and the only things to really put away are the heat styling tools.
Yah the Qtips were an engineering problem every time I refilled. I finally gave in and bought jars that were exactly the right size to pop a big chunk in vertically. Easy to put the lid back on these since the tops kinda align themselves when dropped on… requires very little brain function to succeed.
Flat tops are an open field.
Theres no structure to them. I guarantee the person who creates this clutter will mostly use baskets and such if they're there and don't restrict their ability to see and easily access the thing.
Everything needs a home. But that home needs to be in a visible and accessible place.
I would choose a tall cabinet with a door. This way the clutter is on open surfaces, they can grab & groom easily. B
ut then simply closing the door makes it all disappear.
I don't like seeing things inside baskets, so those would piss me off even if it worked for storage.
When we remodeled our kitchen I spent a long time looking for something like a sloped countertop that would allow you to prep/work on it but not store junk on it. No luck.
Or ya know, just fucking get over it. That “mess” in the first pic is absolutely nothing. A candle, some wipes, and three small bottles was enough for them to freak out about?
I was thinking one big vertical shelf, IKEA Kallax style. That way stuff’s not taking up counter space but still gets to be on a nice visible platform.
Yeah tbh if I’m using it every day and will need to put it on the counter to use it it’s probably not going into hidden storage (example I need to put face wash on the counter so when the water is running I can easily grab it and wash my face).
I will organize into containers on the counter and I do store large items (hair tools, brushes, first aid kits, bathroom cleaning supplies) or items I use infrequently in hidden/ closed storage. Again organized into boxes because otherwise it gets lost.
OR … could it be that she did fill up the storage and has to resort to the surface again…
Bc that happened to me. The next time I moved I made it a requirement my bathroom had a long/wide vanity and then bought a huge tall double door cabinet with ample shelves.
No more things on surface top in bathroom for me.
OP should buy those drawers made out of clear or semi clear plastic! I swear those are great, they're easy to clean and looks organized, but you can still see inside.
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u/TheCoolBlondeGirl 17d ago edited 17d ago
When she sees more surface to lay out her things: