It was the summer I had just turned ten that I saw a mysterious object shaped like a saucer cross the hot savanna sky. It was on the path that led straight to the swamp where my cattle usually grazed.  I had gone looking for them.

The object flew above the water, its grey metal gleaming in the blinding sun then its color changed, thinned, and turned almost see-through, as if blending into the air itself. It then swooshed suddenly back in the direction it had come. No sooner had I started running for it that it was gone. I stood dumbfounded, my whip still in hand. I then continued towards the nearby balancing boulders and rested there, contemplating what I had witnessed. I was certain it was no plane, for planes, as I had seen, passed through the sky in a straight line. Then I remembered a word my sister had taught me—camouflage. It was the same word my brother used for his favorite patterned pants, though there was no resemblance between those clothes and this metallic shape. But that was exactly what it had done: hidden in plain sight. I chuckled under my breath.

With the sun sinking and no cattle in sight, I trudged home to my mother’s disappointment. She slapped me twice in anger. I did not shudder in pain. I was too busy thinking of the object to feel the pain of her slaps. That night my dreams were clouded by the object's shadow, and the shadow had huge teeth that threatened to rip me apart.

Monday found me unable to sit still with the weight of my secret. So, when the bell clanged for break, I rushed outside with my two friends, Beka, who was bigger than his age, and Tino, who was thin and tiny and always came to school with his hair uncombed.

After kicking and dribbling our ball, the three of us sat under a tree in the school yard to savor our meals.

"Did you see a flying object in the sky on Sunday?" I asked. "It flew so quickly I didn't blink much and it was gone. You know the place close to those balancing rocks, with the dried-up swamp? It was there that I saw it."

They gasped.

"What did it look like?" asked Beka, chewing his sweet potatoes.

"Can't really say."

"How big was it from where you were?"

"Hard to tell. I didn't have time to see that."

"So how do you know you saw it?" said Tino, eating his fried sunflower seeds.

"I know I saw it. It did this." I stood up, wove my hands in the air, and did a little spin. Beka stared, eyes wide, but Tino looked unconvinced.

"Maybe it was air moving. Air moves like that sometimes."

"Maybe there were witches," Beka said. "You know they like to travel like that. At least that is what I heard."

"I heard they travel at night on the backs of hyenas," I added, "or in reed baskets."

"Well, how do you know? It's hearsay anyway. No one has actually seen a witch fly. If they are to fly they ought to use animals or mats, not any complicated contraptions."

"Better to change into an owl or an insect than to complicate things," Beka said.

"What insect would you change into?"

"A fly." He smiled.

"That sounds horrible."

The bell clanged again and we ran for the toilets, still arguing, and I daydreamed through the afternoon of the object. Had I actually seen it? Did it carry people? Where was it going at such a speed? What was the purpose of visiting my village?

A week passed and I was still obsessed. My cattle still did not come back, and neither did the Mambo’s bull, nor four beasts from the Chief’s herd.

At the cattle dip the adults had begun to talk in the low, hushed voices they use for bad news. There were suspicions that cattle thieves were loose in the area. As for me, I stared occasionally at the sky for a glimpse of the object, without success. A fortnight passed and the village had stopped asking about the cattle. I too had almost buried the incident when I caught sight of the object again.

I had fallen asleep on top of one of the boulders when a piercing light woke me. Above the swamp, the object hung. Heart pounding like a drum, I climbed down and ran toward the water.  Spotting a nearby thicket, I crawled into the tangled foliage, and watched as the earth beneath the swamp opened, exposing a huge tunnel that descended into the ground. The object lowered close to the opening, and out came the cattle, moving down the ramp with stubborn slowness. Ours led the way. I recognized her by the patch over her eye that looked like a spill of milk. Behind her followed the rest: the Nkomo's' bull with his curved horns, and beasts I recognized from the dip tank. They all walked down into the ground as if it were a kraal.

Out of the door stepped four tiny grey creatures. Of the four, three had small, egg-shaped heads, but the fourth one had a head as large as a watermelon. On each of their faces sat small piercing black eyes. The eyes and mouth looked like those of a stingray fish. The big-headed one gestured with a quick flick of its three-fingered hand to the other three and they moved into the veld and standing in a row they casually urinated. Once done, they all climbed back inside. The tunnel closed and the sky reclaimed its color, and the object vanished.

I ran all the way home, falling in the dark as thorny bushes caught my clothes. With bruised knees and scraped elbows, I finally collapsed at the open door of our hut. When I eventually opened my eyes, I found myself lying on a mat in the kitchen, my mother hovering above me. Her eyes carried traces of worry. Beside me, my sister and my brother Musa knelt, clasping my hands.

"Where were you? This is why I say you must come home before sunset." Her voice was both agitated and concerned. "Where did all these bruises come from?"
She took my face in her hands and pressed at the gash on my forehead. I winced as blood rushed out, which she quickly wiped with a towel. My two siblings sat watching silently.
I tried to speak, but no word came out. Finally, I raised myself up painfully and in the presence of my family, I narrated all that I had seen. My mother listened, the towel still in her hand then when I had finished, she said,

"You fell. That is all this is. Don’t go about telling people this story for they will think you have gone mad." My brother said nothing. My sister was the only one who asked a question.

"Did you see the brand?" she said.

I said yes.

She did not say anything else, and that was worse than if she had called me a liar. I had seen what took them, and I knew my mother was wrong.

The woman named Cassandra spotted her walking alone again to her apartment as she hid in the shadow of the broken light bulb. Alone and vulnerable and with out so much as a care for the clicking of the heels Cassandra wore as she came out of the shadows to follow her. One toned leg scissoring after the other as her black dress blended in with the shadows. Though not like camouflage as her cutouts were visible from her ample chest to her slightly muscular back to her upper thighs. Her dark blue eyes staring straight ahead as the woman let the complex door shut behind her and Cassandra caught it in time to stop the door from slamming close. That did catch the sandy blonde haired woman's attention as she stopped midstep up the stairs and turned to look back at Cassandra.

The beautiful woman's eyes widened a little at the surprising sight of someone looking like they were going to attend a Supreme ball instead of-

"You're not supposed to be here," the woman's voice laden with abuse from cigarettes spoke quietly but assertively.

Cassandra smiled affably as stuck her foot in the door and she took her hand from behind her back to reveal a white cased cellphone with the letter S emblazoned on the case.

The woman tapped her pockets and then checked in her purse before sighing irritable," Damn it,"
Then her face brightened as she looked back at the mysterious woman with her foot in the door waiting patiently without word and a smile that started to surprisingly warm up to the woman who lost her phone.

"Thank you, miss. I've been so tired lately it's hard to think clearly at all," the sandy blonde haired woman stepped calmly and surely down the stairs before stopping within a foot of the well dressed woman.

"My love," the woman started to speak.

And to the sandy blonde haired woman she thought those two words were heart stopping and in a literal sense as her heart skipped a beat for some reason. A warmth quickly shot throughout her sternum at the cadence as she continued but she noticed the woman caught that little heart flutter as her eyes crinkled in mirth.

"Being tired is nothing to be ashamed of," the well dressed woman eased as she still held the phone.

The sandy blonde haired woman's olive green eyes relaxed at that and she stared into the dark blue eyes of the well dressed woman openly before catching herself with a shake of her head. Something clicked in that stare and she wasn't sure what it was as she felt the sternum heat flash again.

"Oh God I am ashamed. Giving you this much trouble to track me down to return my phone,"  the sandy blonde haired woman bit her lip in embarrassment as she looked down in bashfulness for a moment before meeting that dark blue gaze.

"You look like you're on your way to a Supreme ball or something miss...,"

"Cassandra Cosette," the well dressed woman dared to take the sandy blonde's hand and put her phone in it before turning it over and softly kissing the back of her hand.

There was a dark lipstick mark left behind as Cassandra looked back up at her and asked in a soft voice.

"You don't mind?"

The cadence. The way she disarmed with her looks. The elegance. It was working it's way into the sandy blonde as she looked at the lipstick mark with her lips burning as though Cassandra? Cassandra kissed her there instead.

"I guess you do," Cassandra winked with a knowing smile.

"I don't know what to s-say," the sandy blonde stuttered, trying to hide the blush in her cheeks as she slightly turned her head away.

It was working it's way into her alright.

"You can start with a name...unless you would rather go by your good looks instead Sandy,"

"Shut up!" The woman playfully teased as she put her hands on the woman's collarbone to push her away but instead held her hands there for a moment before realizing again.

She immediately took her hands away and brought a hand to her brow as she quietly muttered to herself, "God I'm a mess,"

"A beautiful mess," the woman softly laughed.

"That's it Cassie, you're getting punished for being so charming," the sandy blonde crossed her arms meaning serious business.

Cassie feigned horror as she gasped in a faux manner.

"Whatever can that be, my love?!"

"Parking your ass on my couch as I bore you to death with small talk, hmph!" The sandy blonde cutely added the last part.

"Oh no! Actually getting to know you! Such a medieval crime!" Cassandra touched the back of her hand against her temple in a swoon as she started to tilt backwards.

But the sandy blonde caught her with a "gotcha!"

"Damn! Small talk it is!" Cassandra lovingly laughed as she looked in the sandy blonde's eyes with a mirth she knew the blonde rarely saw, letting herself be held like that in the foyer openly because she didn't give a fuck who saw.

She gave a fuck the blonde couldn't help but laugh too at the mirth as she held Cassandra in her arms.

"Well damn, Miss elusive, I guess you just want to eye ball me," Cassandra teased as she softly rubbed the blonde's clothed shoulder affectionately.

The blonde stood back up and let go of her as she pocketed her cellphone in her purse.

"Hey, I was serious when I said I wanted to thank you for helping return my phone to me. It was in the Cafe wasn't it?"

Cassandra nodded softly and then she pressed a finger to the blonde's lips as she quietly said," Do you at least bestow the honor of a name to your fair rescuer?"

"It's Savanna. Sorry for-,"

"Stop apologizing. That's disgusting," Cassandra said suddenly serious and serious enough for Savanna to get the point.

"You're right,"  Savanna said as she thought about it again while having this moment to breath.

Savanna wondered what had gotten into her. What made her sternum flare like that, her lips burn like that, that sudden playfulness spring out from her. Especially from another woman. She had a boyfriend out there right now in the night working as construction just a few blocks from their apartment. And she wanted to wait to surprise him with a hug and some coffee when he got home.

But this. This was unexplainable but at the same time never felt so right. Never felt like she was a stranger to whatever frivolous attitude this woman had. And she liked it. Holy fuck Savanna liked it enough to invite her into her apartment.

God I'm so tired, Savanna quietly huffed to herself.

Cassandra huffed too.

"Stop being so cute damn it!" Savanna cried before beginning up the stairs in a hurry and laughing as she was chased by Cassandra Cosette.

But lucky for Cassandra it wasn't much of a chase as Savanna lived on the second floor and near the stairs as she laughed happily and bumped into Savanna as she hurriedly dug into her purse for her keys.

"Oh excuse me ma'am!"

"You're excused...into here candy ass," Savanna smirked before closing and locking her and Benjamin's apartment door close behind them.

"Golly gee wilikers there Sandy. Nice apartment,"

Savanna huffed again and simply said," Sit. I'll make us some coffee,"

Cassandra turned slightly to see the kitchen and the two mugs already there and then her dark blue eyes quickly moved to the portrait of Savanna and Benjamin on the stand near the couch as she gracefully sat and picked up the portrait to look at them together.

She quietly said," I do mean it when I said you have a nice apartment here. Near all the hottest spots like the Cafe and the Solaris. And plus it's the part of town you don't need to carry a gun in,"

"Thank you Cassandra. Benjamin was the one who picked it for us. He lived here long enough to know better. I'm still new to here,"

"Where are you from?" Cassandra put the portrait down.

Face down.

"This quiet little coastal town on the east coast. It's rather beautiful. Lovely actually. I'll show you some pictures on my phone...just wait,"

Cassandra slowly looked from the portrait to Savanna coming to her, and really noticed how well she looked with her breasts filling out her Grey shirt. Her thighs filling her blue leggings to a delicious camel toe. How well her figure was accentuated.

Cassandra softly said," Take your time my love,"

Savanna smiled of course. She couldn't help it as she mentally said fuck it and then grabbed her phone from her purse and came over to the couch and sitting right next to Cassandra as she plopped her legs over Cassandras.

Just friendly convivialness and nothing more Savanna thought as she leaned in with her phone to show her the pictures.

She did not notice the face down picture at all as she pointed out her hometown. She did notice that Cassandra was paying full attention with questions of her own.

Then came the question that made her die of embarrassment.

"Savanna are you always so hot and by hot I mean warm?"

She stiffened and then made a sour face as she said, "You should be glad for your personal heater warming you up from the cold outside,"

Cassandra grinned as she squeezed Savanna's thigh affably before they continued on with a much distracted Savanna.

They oohed and ahhed and laughed sweetly with a few teases thrown in.

And none of the playfulness, the convivialness Savanna was lying to herself with convinced her it was true. And that disturbed her and excited her greatly for a reason more profound than logic. What the fuck is happening to me, she thought as she finally took her legs away from Cassandra's lap. Or rather tried to as Cassandra held her thighs in place.

"Hey there this was fun-," Savanna started before Cassandra interrupted.

"I don't want the fun to end," Cassandra said in a low and sultry voice that immediately aroused Savanna.

Her face a full blush even her light make up couldn't conceal.

And then she did it. It was quick. Too quick. So she did it again and this time it was slower and wonderfully painfully so as she touched her lips against Cassandras. Cassandra let her for a momemt. Let her choose before pushing her against the couch and laying against her as she kissed Savanna back hungrily. Savanna moaned excitedly as she wrapped her thick thighs around Cassandras hips and pulled her against her.

The fire blazed as cold wind swept through the encampment, whipping the flames and sending embers into the dark sky. The surrounding trees swayed in the wind, their leaves rustling alongside the sharp cracks of burning timber.

“You know, there’s one I haven’t told anyone else yet,” Soren said calmly, his voice rising just above the sounds of the camp.

A gust of wind caught the pages of Venn's weathered notebook, revealing rows of crude markings that recorded the days spent at the encampment. It was the only means they possessed of keeping track of the ever-elusive passage of days.

Every three months, the camp had to move. Dwindling food supplies and exhausted resources made remaining in one place impossible.

But there was another reason.

The fear of what had happened to the others.

“You’ve told us the same stories hundreds of times and you’re just sharing this now?” Faeya inquired.

Only four of them remained after the most recent losses. Faeya sat perched on a tree stump carved into a stool, her silhouette outlined by the firelight. They had found her wandering alone years earlier. Since then, she'd become family.

“This isn’t another one of those made-up stories now, is it?” Ashen, the oldest of the group, asked.

“No...” Soren trailed off, fighting the memories tied to the explanation.

“This one came from my grandfather.”

The shadows continued their restless dance around the gathering, indifferent to the somber silence that had settled over the camp. The corner of Faeya’s usually upturned lips fell as an unfamiliar apprehension settled across her face.

“My grandfather’s grandfather told this originally, before the world went dark,” Soren added, tossing an electronic scrap into the fire, causing the flames to briefly turn blue.

Venn, the fourth member of the group, had remained silent. He winced as the electronic board disappeared into the flames. Beside his pack lay a collection of old components, each carefully wrapped in soiled linen.

"Some stories are better left in the past..." Venn muttered, turning a small, smooth coin between his fingers.

"As though there's any truth to these old stories," Ashen scoffed.

His gaze shifted toward the collection beside Venn's pack.

"And you're wasting valuable space hauling that junk around."

Venn carefully wrapped the coin in a scrap of linen and tucked it away, shooting Ashen a look of annoyance.

"Well... get on with it!" Faeya chirped, shifting her weight forward.

Soren watched the flames curl around the remains of the electronic board, the unnatural blue glow slowly fading into the familiar orange.

For a moment, only the crackling of the fire disturbed the silence.

"My grandfather told me this as it was told to him," Soren finally said.

"He always insisted I tell it the same way. As though I were the one who lived it."

Soren leaned forward, casting shadows across his face.

"So that's how I'll tell it to you."

 

 

 

It was a day like any other. My parents had given me a little money and sent me to the market, with strict instructions to return directly home. Except, on this particular afternoon, I decided to take a shortcut through the park on my way home. At the center of the park stood an enormous oak, its branches stretching so far in every direction that they seemed intent on swallowing the field around it. I wasn’t supposed to stop here alone, but I figured a quick cut through would be okay. Then I saw it. A man. A man I knew. I wanted to run because I had been caught. It was the uncle I had always been closest to. He would visit us a lot. I knew he would go straight to my parents, however, and let them know I broke the rules I was meant to follow.

I walked right up to him at the base of the tree and didn’t quite get the response I was expecting. He remained motionless, seated back against the base of the tree with his hands in his lap. He appeared okay other than the very blank expression that projected from his eyes. There was no injury, no blood, just nothing. I knelt down so that our faces were level and his gaze appeared to pass through me as if I wasn’t even there. His eyes were fixed on something that wasn’t there to see. I called his name softly. My stomach tightened. I truly didn’t care if he had caught me anymore. Our faces were roughly six inches apart, and his face slowly scrunched as if he was just learning how to use his muscles.

One corner of his mouth began to rise.

The other followed a moment later.

It was a smile, but nothing about it suggested happiness.

It looked like something he had long forgotten how to do.

I stumbled backward away from him. I dropped the bags and ran all the way home.

That was the last time I saw my uncle.

Once I reached the end of my street, memories of the games my uncle and I had played together flashed through my mind. I threw open the front door so quickly that it struck the rocking bench beside it with a loud clang. This alerted the entire home that there was urgency of some kind brewing in the front room. My parents promptly greeted me.

“Where are the groceries?” Mom asked with concern.

“I... uh... I... dropped them on my way in,” I stammered. “I saw Uncle Binker at the park. I think something is wrong.”

“Why did you go there?” my parents questioned in unison.

Mom pulled the door open and glanced down the street. She slammed it shut, threw the deadbolt, and hurried to close the blinds. She continued to whirl around the house, unable to find a still moment or a chance to catch her breath, almost as if she’d been holding it this entire time.

My dad took a seat at the dining room table, staring off into the kitchen. The chair groaned on the floor as he sat, which he usually carefully avoided. Dad just gripped the edge of the table with his hands like he was trying to fold the solid wood in half.

It felt like a year before either of them said anything else.

“What did he say to you?” Dad finally asked.

He hadn't even mentioned the food I'd abandoned. We'd lost nearly a week's worth of groceries, and he didn't seem to care. A tightness spread through my chest. Until that moment, I hadn't realized just how frightened my parents were.

“He didn’t say anything... He just stared at me and then had this really creepy smile on his face.” The words quietly spilled out of my mouth.

Mom stopped moving for the first time since I had entered the house. She became entirely frozen in place.

"It wasn't just Sharon."

Her lips had barely moved.

“NOT NOW!” Dad boomed across the kitchen.

His voice seemed to rattle inside my skull. Dad almost never raised his voice, especially not at Mom.

I fled down the hallway and shut myself in my bedroom. Through the wall, I could hear my parents arguing, their words too muffled to understand. I curled into the corner of my bed and pulled the blanket tightly around me.

Sharon lived next door. She was always bringing over something she'd cooked or stopping by to spend the afternoon with Mom. But a couple of weeks earlier, she'd stopped coming around. I hadn't thought much of it until Mom mentioned her name.

I couldn't get the image of my uncle's smile out of my head. Even as I drifted off to sleep, I could still see it.

When I woke, the house was empty.

 

 

 

“Empty!” Faeya exclaimed. “So they just left him there?”

Soren glanced toward her, pulled from the trance of his storytelling. The crackling fire and rushing wind seemed to return all at once.

"I suppose that's what the boy thought."

“Convenient. Everyone always ends up disappearing in these stories,” Ashen muttered.

A shudder passed through Venn as the wind swept across the camp. He pulled his cloak tighter, his eyes never leaving the flames.

Soren followed Venn's gaze into the fire.

I ran into the kitchen, where the smell of breakfast normally filled the room and Mom would cheerfully ask how I'd slept. The kitchen was dark and cold, and something smelled off. It appeared dinner from the night before had never made it into the cooler. Then I checked their bedroom. The bed looked untouched, as if it were part of a model home. They either got up really early or hadn’t slept in it last night.

There was no note. There was no message. Mom and Dad were just gone. Mom was almost always home, and Dad had been spending more time around the house lately because things weren't going well at work.

My heart sank. I grabbed a bagel from the kitchen and hurried outside.

Stepping out of the dark house, I was caught off guard by the blinding sunlight. Its warmth spread across my skin. I didn't know where my parents had gone, but I couldn't stop thinking about what Mom had said about Sharon. I walked down the sidewalk until I made it to the front of Sharon’s house. Sharon had always kept the bushes along her walkway neatly trimmed. Now their branches had begun to spill over the path leading to her front door.

I took a deep breath and crept up the walkway to the front door of the house. There was a faint glow coming from the little stained glass windows beside the door. Nervously, I rapped on the door, but no one answered. I looked down the side of the house and noticed one of the windows was partially open. I rounded the corner and glanced around to make sure nobody was watching. Then I dragged a bin beneath the window, climbed onto it, and cupped my hands around my eyes to block the reflection on the glass.

It was very dark, and I couldn’t make anything out right away. Across the room, a television flickered in the darkness. A cheerful voice drifted through the window, repeating the same words over and over. It sounded like one of those advertisements that always seemed to be playing on television. I could now make out a little foldable table sitting in front of the couch facing the TV. It had a plate of food on it. The food was half-eaten, with flies buzzing around the plate.

There had to be someone here for there to be food! Maybe they just couldn’t hear the door over the TV.

"Looking for a brighter future? Join the Pedanza team today! Opportunities are waiting for you." The TV seemed to be getting louder.

I thought of Dad. He'd been having trouble finding work lately. Maybe this was something I could tell him about when he got home.

My eyes strained hard to try and pick up any more details in the room. It was so dark and everything appeared to be fuzzy and slightly out of focus. I decided the next logical move would be to call out through the window.

“Hey! Is there anyone inside?” My voice came out louder than I'd intended, drowning out the television for a moment.

Something shifted on the couch.

At first, I couldn't tell what I was looking at. Then, against the darkness, I made out a row of yellowish teeth.

Someone was smiling at me.

I froze. It reminded me of the time I'd stepped into a fire-ant hill and looked down to find hundreds of them crawling up my legs. That awful moment before the first sting, when I knew what was coming but hadn't moved yet.

The television flickered, catching a little blue badge hanging from the edge of the table. A name was printed across it in large letters. It looked like the kind Dad used to wear to work.

I looked back toward the couch.

The yellowish teeth were higher now. Much higher.

Whoever was smiling had stood up.

I jerked backward, lost my footing, and fell off the bin, landing flat on my back.

The fall knocked the wind out of me. I gasped for air as I scrambled through the bushes and trees separating our houses and burst through the front door. Without even thinking, I locked the door and rushed from window to window, shutting the blinds tightly. I was doing exactly what Mom had done the night before.

 

 

 

"The blue thing," Venn said, breaking the silence. "The one with the name on it. What does it signify?"

"The blue thing?" Faeya exclaimed. "What about the teeth in the dark?"

"Oh, come on. The yellow glint could've come from anything." Ashen shifted closer to the fire.

"A mark of belonging," Soren finally replied to Venn.

He stirred the embers with a stick, sending a handful of sparks into the night. For a moment, his eyes followed them upward.

Then he continued.

It took a while before I felt safe moving around the house again. I was truly scared, and there was no sign of my parents returning. I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd seen. That smile, of course. First Uncle Binker, then Sharon, and now Mom and Dad. And then I remembered the badge. It looked just like the one my dad wore. I needed to find my dad. He would know what to do.

I found one of Dad's work papers lying around the house. The name Pedanza was printed at the top, just like in the advertisement I'd heard playing at Sharon's house. Beneath it was an address, so I entered it into my GPS. Dad's office was only a ten-minute walk away. I'd never been there before, and it wasn't a part of town I knew. By the time I was ready to leave, the bright morning sky had turned gray. Rain began falling as I stepped outside. The black umbrella from the closet kept me mostly dry as I followed the directions on the device.

Strangely, there were hardly any cars on the road or people on the sidewalks. It was very quiet. Even beside the highway, all I could hear was the rain tapping against my umbrella.

As I continued walking, the sky grew darker. I was beginning to worry about the approaching storm when I noticed a glow up ahead.

It was the building I was looking for.

Tall glass walls stretched across its front, spilling bright artificial light onto the darkened sidewalk.

Through the glass doors, I spotted the first person I'd seen since leaving home. A woman sitting behind the front desk. She looked perfectly normal.

"Hello, sweetie!" the receptionist greeted me, her face lighting up as I entered.

"Hello, miss," I replied. It felt strange to speak. I'd only said a handful of words aloud all day.

"What can I help you with today?" she continued cheerfully.

"I'm looking for my dad," I said. "I think he's working today. His name is Daniel Mercer."

"Just one second! I'll look him up right now!" she said, her fingers tapping quickly across the keyboard.

She clicked and typed for a moment before her cheerful smile faded into a look of concern.

"Oh, sweetheart." She looked back at the screen. "Your father hasn't worked here for a few weeks. I'm afraid he was laid off."

"Do you know where he might be?" I asked, desperate for an answer.

"I'm afraid I don't know where he might be. Is your mother home?" she asked gently.

I hesitated. I wasn't sure how much I should tell her.

“Well... my mom isn’t home either, actually. They were both gone this morning when I woke up, and I went to the neighbors, and there was someone in the dark just smiling in there...” The words came faster than I could think, and eventually I trailed off.

The receptionist stopped smiling. She glanced toward the front doors before looking back at me.

“Sweetie, please come with me. I am going to try to find you some help!” She stood and began walking to an elevator.

The elevator doors opened before she even reached the button. It was almost as though it knew we were coming. I followed her inside. She pressed the button for the fourth floor, and the doors slid shut. The click of the button was the last sound I heard before the elevator began to rise.

She led me to a small room with a few tables, chairs, and vending machines. She handed me a couple of dollars and gestured toward them.

"Go ahead and get yourself a treat, sweetheart. I'll be back in a few minutes," she said.

I hurried over and bought myself a chocolate bar and a soda. For the first time all day, I felt like things might be getting better.

I tore open the wrapper on the chocolate bar and took a large bite. The sweet crunchy goodness filled my mouth. I sat at the table and looked around. There were motivational posters featuring cats hanging around the room. I was just about to take another bite when I heard the faint murmur of someone talking through a vent on the far wall.

I stopped chewing.

Was that the receptionist?

I set the chocolate bar down and walked closer, hoping I might hear something about my parents.

"Yes, I'm sure it's Daniel Mercer's boy. I checked the records."

The receptionist's voice came through the vent, muffled but recognizable.

"No, I haven't contacted anyone else."

A pause.

"Okay. I'll keep him here until we hear back."

Another pause.

"I doubt the boy would know that."

Her voice faded, and I couldn't make out anything else.

I heard just enough for the comfort to wash away and the fear to set back in. I had to get out of this room, and out of this building. I quickly opened the door and slipped down the hallway.

I knew the lady said Dad didn't work here anymore, but maybe she'd made a mistake. I didn't know where else to look.

There were a lot of cube-shaped offices, but not a lot of people around. I wandered into the center aisle to look and see if maybe my dad was there. I heard a strange noise coming from one of the offices on the far wall.

It sounded like screaming. I ran over and put my ear to the door. This was a trick I used when my parents were talking about a surprise.

A man belted, “I don’t want that! Get away from me!”

The door pushed open slightly as I leaned on it. Without making a noise, I was now able to see what was happening inside. In the room, a man was strapped to a wooden chair. Behind him stood something tall and black. It was almost like a shadow, but thicker, and I couldn't tell where its body ended. Its arms were long. Too long, I thought. One was stretched around the man's head, and the other seemed to be moving near his ear.

"Please," the man whimpered. "I don't want it."

The thing bent closer. The man suddenly jerked against the straps. His shoes scraped across the floor, and the chair rattled beneath him.

"NO! PLEASE! STOP!"

His back arched, and his head twisted to one side. I thought his neck might break. The thing didn't seem bothered by his struggle. It just stood there, its long fingers moving slowly around his head.

Then the man began making a sound I had never heard before. It wasn't quite a scream. It was a long, terrible moan that seemed to come from somewhere deep inside him. He drew in a shaking breath, and the sound came again, louder this time.

I wanted to cover my ears, but I was afraid to move.

The man's whole body was trembling. Tears ran down his cheeks, and his mouth hung open as he struggled to breathe. He tried to say something, but all that came out was another awful moan. The thing leaned closer.

For a moment, I thought I saw something stretching between the man's ear and the creature's hand. It was thin and pale, almost like a strand of spiderweb, except it seemed to glow in the darkness.

The man let out another scream. The pale strand grew longer. I couldn't understand what I was looking at. Whatever it was, the man wanted it to stay inside him. I could tell that much. His legs kicked against the chair one last time. Then they stopped, but the moaning didn't.

He sat there with his head hanging to one side, making these little sounds through his open mouth. Each one was quieter than the last. The thing kept pulling. I watched the man's eyes move toward the door. For just a moment, I thought he was looking right at me.

His lips moved.

"Help..."

It was barely louder than a whisper. Then his eyes stopped following anything. The last little moan escaped his mouth, and the pale strand disappeared into the darkness. The creature straightened out. The man sat perfectly still. I thought he was dead, but then his head slowly lifted.

His mouth began to move. First one corner, then the other, until his lips stretched into a wide, crooked smile. It was the same smile I'd seen on Uncle Binker's face. And the same as the one I'd seen in Sharon's house. I knew what the thing had done to him.

I didn't know how, but somehow, it had taken him away without taking his body.

 

 

 

A log cracked sharply in the fire. Faeya flinched, and for a moment, nobody spoke.

"Well, that's ridiculous," Ashen said, his voice barely above a whisper before growing louder. "A shadow pulling something out of a man!"

Nobody answered.

"That's impossible," Ashen insisted.

"Yeah? Then why are you sitting so close to the fire?" Faeya retorted.

The wind howled through the trees.

Soren continued.

I was still standing outside the office door. I didn't know what to do. The man sat staring at me with that big, crooked smile. Behind him, the shadowy figure remained perfectly still. Then, without warning, the door swung open. It slammed against the wall with a terrible bang.

I jumped backward.

There was no way the thing hadn't noticed me now. I thought I saw it turn toward me, but I couldn't be sure. Whatever it was, it didn't seem interested. Instead, it turned back toward the man in the chair, moving its long fingers around his head.

It appeared to be placing that long strand into a small, decorative box. Whatever it had taken from the man, it was putting it away for safekeeping.

I stumbled backward into the main aisle between the cubicles. The office had been nearly empty when I'd first walked through it.

It wasn't anymore.

People were standing at their desks. Some had risen from their chairs, while others leaned out from behind the cubicle walls. There must have been fifty of them. Every single one was looking at me. And every single one was smiling.

I stumbled down the center aisle, away from the open office and toward the other end of the room. With each step, their smiles seemed to grow wider. Every face remained turned toward me.

Nobody spoke.

Nobody moved.

I wanted to run, but I was afraid that if I did, they would start running too.

With each step, my brain was screaming at me to get out. But the closer I got to the hallway, the more I realized there was no way around them. I was going to have to squeeze between the smiling people.

I turned sideways and carefully stepped between two of them. Their bodies were cold. I could feel it even through my clothes. Up close, their smiles were worse. Their eyes seemed to look right through me, even though their faces were turned directly toward mine.

The elevator dinged. I rounded the corner and came face-to-face with the receptionist. She grabbed my arm, pulled me through the open elevator door, and held the close-door button. I took a good look at her, and she wasn’t smiling.

“Why did you run off?” she asked. She sounded angry, but her hands were shaking.

“I… I was worried about my dad, and the people… What is wrong with the people here?” I stammered.

"I don't fully know," she said, glancing nervously toward the hallway. "But it's gotten worse. We need to get out of here."

“Listen, honey, your dad… He saw something he wasn't supposed to see. That's why he doesn't work here anymore.”

“What did he see?” I asked.

“I don't know.” She glanced at the elevator doors. “But I wasn't supposed to be on that floor. Neither of us were. Most of the fourth floor was supposed to be closed for renovations.”

“Then why did you take me up there?” I asked.

"They told me the break room was still safe. I thought you'd be okay there."

She looked down at me, then quickly away.

"When I came back and you weren't in the break room, I got worried. I called your dad. He's on his way to get you."

My body wanted to melt into the wall. He was okay, and he was coming to get me. The elevator hummed as it brought us to the bottom entry level. It seemed like she was also trying to figure out the next steps for herself. The elevator opened to the same bright lobby. She brought me to the desk and sat me down on her chair. She looked around to make sure it was just us in the lobby. I felt something in my pocket that I hadn’t noticed until now. A coin. One of the smiling ones must have placed it in there while I was squeezing through the crowd. I kept turning it over between my fingers, wondering how it had gotten there. Outside, the darkness had grown thick. I kept watching the windows, desperately waiting for headlights to appear.

The car I had been waiting for finally arrived.

The receptionist wished me good luck as I hurried toward the doors. I recognized our old red station wagon immediately. I ran outside and pulled open the back door before the car had even come to a complete stop.

"Mom! Dad! You're here!" I shouted.

"Yeah, buddy. I'm here, I'm here," Dad said, reaching back to make sure I was okay.

“Where were you?” Tears welled in my eyes. “I looked everywhere.”

"I know, buddy, I know." Dad had tears in his eyes. "We thought we could stop it before it got to you... but we were wrong." He looked over at Mom.

Mom hadn’t said one word since I got in the car.

“Mom?” My voice started shaking.

Slowly she turned to face me.

Her eyes were empty.

And she was smiling.

"What's happened to her, Dad?" I asked.

Dad looked at Mom, then back at me.

"I don't know, buddy."

"Is she going to be okay?"

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

"I don't know," he said again.

Dad pulled away from the building, driving faster than he normally would. I looked back at the bright windows of Pedanza until they disappeared behind us.

"I saw something upstairs. Something I don't understand," I said.

Dad's hands tightened around the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. Dad didn’t say anything.

“There was a big shadowy figure pulling some strand out of a man,” I quietly added, hoping for an answer.

“Did it see you?” He sounded defeated.

“Yes... I think so,” I stammered. “There were a lot of people like Mom in there.”

Dad opened his mouth to answer.

“DAD!” I screamed.

He slammed on the brakes, and they squealed as the car came to a halt.

A tall, shadowy figure stood beneath a streetlight, no more than five feet in front of our car. It slowly began approaching us. I looked out the side window and saw another one. Then another appeared behind the car. They were coming from everywhere.

Before long, there must have been fifteen of them surrounding us. I pressed myself against the seat as they approached the windows. Then, all at once, they stopped.

Not one of them came any closer.

It was almost as though something was keeping them away.

Dad had squeezed his eyes shut, but nothing happened. He opened them again and stared at the tall figures surrounding us.

Slowly, he took his foot off the brake. The car began creeping forward.

The figure directly in front of us stepped aside. Then another moved.

One by one, they separated, leaving just enough room for our car to pass.

Dad didn't say a word.

Neither did I.

As we passed between them, I looked out my window. One of the figures was standing so close that I could see its long fingers rubbing against the door, causing a faint scraping sound. Its head slowly turned, following me as we drove past. I ducked below the window until I couldn't see it anymore.

I stayed below the window until the scraping stopped.

When I finally looked up, the figures were standing in the road behind us, watching our car disappear into the darkness.

I looked toward the front seat.

Dad was crying quietly.

Mom was still smiling.

Soren stopped speaking.

 

 

 

The wind had quieted, and the trees stood still around the encampment.

For a moment, nobody spoke.

It was almost as though the world had been listening too.

"That's it?" Ashen asked.

Soren looked over at him.

"What do you mean?"

"What happened to the boy? The father? The mother?"

"I thought you didn't believe in these silly stories," Faeya cut in.

"I don't," Ashen replied. "But you can't just end a story like that!"

Faeya smiled.

"Sounds like you're getting a little scared, Ashen."

"I'm not scared," Ashen retorted.

"Oh yeah? Then why do you keep looking over your shoulder?" she teased.

Ashen quickly looked back toward the fire, and Soren quietly chuckled to himself.

"I told you guys what I know," Soren said. "I know the boy survived. What happened to his parents after that, I couldn't tell you."

"What about that coin?" Venn asked.

The other three looked toward Venn, who had been silent for quite some time.

"What about it?" Soren asked.

"You said someone put it in the boy's pocket," Venn answered.

Soren nodded.

"That's right."

"Did he ever find out why?"

Soren shook his head.

"Not that I know of."

Venn looked down at the small bundle resting in his lap.

Venn unwrapped the bundle and held the coin out to Soren.

“Do you remember what the coin looked like?”

“Not really,” Soren admitted. “But my grandfather always said there was something strange about it.”

“What do you mean?” Venn asked.

“Well, those things had the boy surrounded, didn't they? But they let him go. Maybe the coin had something to do with it.”

Venn turned the coin over between his fingers.

“You think it had something to do with this?”

Venn flipped the coin into the air. Its worn edges caught the firelight before it fell back into his palm.

“It’s just an old coin, Venn,” Ashen said, trying to convince himself it couldn’t possibly be related.

“Where did you get that coin?” Faeya asked.

The group turned to Venn, curious about the answer.

“I got it scavenging through one of the settlements years back. To be honest, it’s been my lucky coin ever since.”

Venn grinned. He wasn't used to everyone taking such an interest in the things he collected.

"I've got some more interesting things in here besides my lucky coin," Venn said, pulling out several other linen-wrapped relics.

"Oh, we're so glad you're showing us all your junk, Venn," Ashen said, finally lightening up.

Venn tucked the coin into his pocket as he began unwrapping the rest of his treasures to find the next best thing to show the group.

“This!” Soren chimed in. “This is a real treasure.” He held up one of Venn’s dirty linens that did not contain any artefacts.

Faeya giggled.

“No, no, no. You must not have seen this,” Venn said, holding up one of his more precious items.

"Now this one," he said, holding up a small object with a cracked glass face.

"What is it?" Faeya asked.

"No idea. But look at these little numbers."

Venn passed it to Soren.

"There's two little metal sticks inside. I think they used to move."

Ashen leaned forward.

"So you found a broken thing that doesn't do anything?"

"Well, I think it used to do something," Venn replied.

"Wonderful. Another treasure."

Ashen’s smile faded into a frown.

He rubbed his eyes, thinking that he must be getting tired, but as they cleared again, he was sure that there was something there, standing at the edge of the campground.

At first, he thought it could have been a shadow projected by the firelight, but as the flame flickered, the figure did not move.

Whatever it was, it was enormous. Taller than any animal they'd encountered. Much taller than a man.

"That smile didn't last long, did it, Ashen?" Soren teased, giving his leg a playful pat.

Ashen did not reply.

“Is something wrong?” Faeya asked.

All Ashen could do was slowly raise his hand and point towards the edge of the camp.

"Oh, come on, Ashen. I knew you were sca—"

Faeya stopped.

She had followed his finger toward the trees.

The figure stood motionless as the others turned toward it. Its long arms hung at its sides.

Nobody spoke.

Venn opened his mouth, but no words came out. His hand moved toward his pocket. He glanced at Soren, then back at the figure. Slowly, he pulled out the coin and held it in front of himself.

The figure began walking toward the fire.

Venn held the coin higher.

It kept coming.

"It’s coming for me," Venn whispered.

The figure passed between two of the tents.

Venn took a step backward.

"Why isn't it stopping?"

The figure reached Venn.

One of its long hands extended toward him. Its fingers slowly wrapped around his wrist.

Venn tried to pull away.

The fingers tightened.

The others scrambled to their feet, but the creature paid them no attention.

With its free hand, it pried the coin from Venn's fingers and dropped it into a small bag.

Then, without warning, the creature pulled. Venn was dragged across the campground with impossible speed. His pack tore open, scattering his treasures across the dirt. Before anyone could reach him, Venn and the figure disappeared between the trees.

Venn's screams echoed through the darkness, growing fainter until only the crackling fire and gentle wind remained.

Venn’s trinkets and his notebook lay strewn about the dirt of the camp.

Nobody spoke.

Soren stared into the trees.

The boy had escaped all those years ago. Venn hadn't.

And somewhere in the darkness, the Collector had finally come to collect.

I'll kiss your lips with an aching tooth in my mouth
I'll place my freshly pulled tooth on your ring
I'll mix Apranax in your drink
so that you think
your toothache is gone because you met me
I'll describe the paint color I want for our bedroom
to the ironmonger as tooth yellow.

I'm fifty-one years old, and this is the only poem I've ever written, which I wrote ten years ago.

I don't really like writing poetry, because I'm not good at it. I especially enjoy the sound of poems with rhyming lines; they sound like music to my ears. But I've tried a few times and failed miserably. I couldn't write a good poem. I'd written this poem for my dentist, who knew I was a writer and with whom I had a good relationship. I mean, I hadn't written the poem for her. I'd simply wanted to write a poem about teeth.

She was a very beautiful woman. I had no feelings for her, but she'd misunderstood the poem I'd written and thought I was making a move on her. She'd given me a pretty harsh telling-off. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get her to understand that the poem wasn't written for anyone in particular, and that it hadn't been inspired by any feelings I had for someone.

Anyway, my publisher was telling me that sales of my latest novel were terrible. He kept calling me and bringing me down.

“Maybe you should stop writing horror novels and start writing detective fiction instead. You know me, even two sentences from you are enough to move me. I can't sleep at night. But this latest novel of yours was an absolute fiasco. I seriously regret publishing it.”

I was tired of his calls and him repeating the same things in different ways for two months. He was almost going to ask me to compensate him for his losses. He wanted me to write and finish something else as soon as possible and make up for the losses I'd caused him. He didn't want to wait.

But I'd been overcome by the fear of not being able to write well. I'd been deeply affected by public opinion. Albert, the successful writer of many years, can no longer write... The story's opening is too rushed... The ending doesn't come together properly... Even an elementary school kid could come up with these descriptions... We're sick of ghosts that appear at night... And so on.

If he called today, I wasn't going to answer. He called every other day to ask, “Have you started the new book yet?” Whenever I said no, it was the same old stuff, the same complaints. For the past month, I'd been sitting down at my computer almost every day, but nothing came of it.

As I sat at my computer, waiting for something to come to mind, my phone rang, of course. I didn't even need to check who was calling. I tensely raised my hand to my head and began running my fingers through my hair. I looked around the objects in my room, as if I might find inspiration in one of them. The bed, the couch, an oil painting my sister had made... Nothing came of it. I pinched a lock of my hair between my fingers and pulled. I looked at my hand. There was a clump of hair between my index and middle fingers. I hadn't realized I was losing so much hair.

It was as if an electric current had passed through my head. Then, in one go, I wrote the following:

''In my 1+1 apartment on the second floor
I was drinking Americano by the balcony door
Suddenly I saw a wig falling down below
with bangs and in the color of dark yellow

I thought one of the neighbors upstairs must have dropped it while leaning over the balcony.
I lunged for it on instinct, trying to catch it. And I caught it, everything happened so quickly.

And the wig was now in my hands
I even caught it by the bangs

I waited for a while,
still in the position to catch it,
holding the wig in my hand,
waiting for someone to call.
But there was no sound at all.

Considering the possibilities,
I thought I should look up first.
But someone could have been down there,
waiting for the wig to fall.

While I was looking around upstairs,
someone called out from below:
“Throw it down already.
What are you looking at like an idiot?”
She was tall like a door
She was as tall as a first floor
I downed my Americano
And calmly threw the wig toward her
She jumped and
caught the wig with her head
and suddenly disappeared.''

I had no idea how it had happened. It was as if I hadn't been the one who wrote it. It was frightening. The way the sentences came to me, the way they lined up in my mind—I had never experienced anything like it. Everything was finished in one go, without any planning whatsoever.

My publisher called. I sent him to voicemail. I read the poem from beginning to end. It was as if I were reading it for the first time, as if I were discovering the poem all over again. It wasn't the kind of poem I could have written anyway, not in terms of its subject matter. I wouldn't describe ghosts or entities like this; I would leave them shrouded in mystery. In this poem, the ghost was very concrete.

My publisher called again. I answered this time. I was going to tell him I had an idea or something. I was such an idiot, always telling him the truth: inspiration wasn't coming, I couldn't write, my mind felt frozen, and so on. I picked up the phone, planning to ask him to give me a month and tell him I'd deliver a novel of at least two hundred pages.

“So, Albert, any progress? How many pages have you written?”

Suddenly, my mouth had locked up. I couldn't speak. The words I wanted to say were only passing through my mind; they wouldn't come out. All I could manage were sounds like “mmmh.”

“Albert? Hello?”

I started reciting the poem I'd just written. I read it from beginning to end. My mouth wasn't under my brain's control.

“What is this? What’s going on?”

''Hello?''

''Albert, what's going on?''

I could speak again now. It would have been ridiculous to say that something had taken control of my mouth and fingers. I had to say something, but I was too frightened to think. My mind was in turmoil. I hung up.

My publisher called again. I don’t remember that moment very clearly, but I mumbled something along these lines.

“What was that thing you were telling me about? So now you’re hanging up on me, too. Is this what we’ve come to, Albert? After all these years of working togeth—”

“It’s me, John. Did you like my poem? Jason, I was going to ca— If you want, I can write a few more poems like this... Jason, I can’t spea—I could even write five hundred poems in the same style, if you like. Do you publish po— Jason, my mouth is going numb. I don’t feel well. I’ll call you back in a bi— Listen, I wrote this three hundred years ago.”

I hung up. I jumped to my feet. I licked and bit my lips. I took a deep breath, and as I exhaled, the following words spilled out of my mouth:

''He figured out how to pass through
Walls within a year or two
But he still can't pass through wood
The ghost in my lover's neighborhood.''

My publisher kept calling insistently. His calls felt like a voice reminding me of my connection to this world. I'd set my phone's ringtone to Radiohead's “Weird Fishes.” The song played throughout each call. I couldn't move; my body was locked up, but hearing the song comforted me. When the song ended, I'd try to take a step, but I couldn't. I'd try to speak, but I couldn't move my mouth. It was as if I'd had a stroke. Then the song would start again. Yes, I'd tell myself, “I'm still alive. The world still makes sense.”

The song had stopped playing, too. My connection to the world had been severed.

I came to my senses again for a brief moment. I sat down at my computer. The screen was covered in dust. I noticed a cloth right next to the monitor. I couldn't remember when I'd put it there. I wiped the monitor clean. The poem looked better now.

I think you've realized that I wasn't the one writing all this story.

​

Note: These are recovered internal files from the Department for Transport archives concerning anomalies in Berkshire. These files were found and transcribed during my internship at the Department for Transport, whilst clearing out their archives in Basingstoke ready for a relocation to Manchester.

I am not DI Thorne, and I have found no trace of him in my investigations into the accounts that these files allude to.

I present these files in an attempt to piece together the sequence of strange occurrences in the Berkshire area and make sense of what has happened, what is happening and why.

If anyone has information regarding the whereabouts of DI Thorne it would be greatly appreciated and helpful in my investigation.

(Name redacted)

---------------

FOUND TRANSCRIPT – FOR INTERNAL REVIEW ONLY

DEPARTMENT FOR TRANSPORT – ANOMALOUS INCIDENT DIVISION

CASE FILE: TX098

SUBJECT: DI THORNE – WITNESS STATEMENT

LOCATION: IN SITU

DATE: MARCH 21ST, 2026

TIME: 15:07 GMT

Supplemental Statement of Thorne

Subject: Unusual taxi encounter following departure from the police station

Classification: Unresolved incident

Statement taken from: Thorne

I am providing this statement to document an encounter that occurred after I left the police station. I appreciate that certain elements may be difficult to reconcile with conventional explanations. I would ask that the recording from the station's CCTV be considered alongside my account, although I suspect it will prove less helpful than it ought to be.

I left the station intending to clear my head. I had been inside long enough to develop a profound dislike of the smell of institutional coffee, the desk sergeant's expression, and the general impression that my continued existence was becoming an administrative inconvenience.

There was a taxi waiting outside.

I do not recall hearing it arrive.

It was an old-fashioned black cab, the sort that seemed to have survived several decades of neglect through sheer spite. Its paintwork was dull, its windows dark, and the roof light was illuminated despite the fact that the vehicle appeared to have no driver.

I was considering whether to walk when the rear passenger window descended by a few inches.

"Going somewhere?" asked the driver.

He was a thin man, perhaps in his sixties, although I found it difficult to settle on an age. His face had the grey, papery appearance of someone who had spent too long indoors. His eyes were pale and watery. He smiled at me with the weary familiarity of a man who had delivered the same joke to thousands of people and was still waiting for someone to find it funny.

"Not particularly," I said.

"Best sort of passenger."

"Is it?"

"Oh, yes. You'd be surprised how many people don't know where they're going until you ask them."

I looked at the cab. The interior was dim, but I could see the outline of the back seat. It appeared to be covered in cracked black leather. Something about the vehicle made me reluctant to get in. It was not an obvious danger. There was no knife-wielding lunatic in the front seat, no smell of blood, no sinister music drifting from the radio.

It was simply wrong.

The sort of wrongness that makes you look at a perfectly ordinary staircase and wonder whether the bottom step has moved since you last saw it.

"I'm not going to make a wish," I told him.

The driver's smile widened.

"I haven't asked you to make one yet."

"You were going to."

He gave a little laugh and turned his attention to the road ahead.

"Clever fellow. You know how these things work, then?"

"Enough to know that wishing for a taxi ride is rarely the worst decision a person makes. It's what comes afterwards that tends to cause trouble."

"Ah." He nodded thoughtfully. "You're not the usual sort."

"What is the usual sort?"

"People who've given up hope."

He said it casually, as though describing a preference for cash fares or passengers who didn't smoke. There was no malice in his voice. That made it worse.

I looked at the cab again. The rear door was unlocked. I had not heard it unlock.

"Who sent you?" I asked.

"Certain parties."

"Specific parties?"

"Very specific. I'm afraid I can't be more helpful than that."

"Convenient."

"Extremely."

He seemed genuinely pleased with himself.

I should have walked away. In retrospect, I can identify several points at which I might have made a sensible decision. Walking away was one. Calling the police was another. Going back inside and asking the desk sergeant to arrest a taxi driver for being unpleasant would have been a third, though I accept that this last option would probably have resulted in a rather different kind of trouble.

Instead, I opened the rear door and got in.

The interior smelled of damp fabric, old cigarette smoke and something faintly sweet that I could not identify. The smell reminded me of flowers left too long in a warm room. The seat was cold enough to make me shift away from it.

The door shut behind me with a soft, final click.

"Where to?" the driver asked.

"Just drive."

"Excellent."

The engine started. I did not hear the ignition.

We pulled away from the station.

I watched the building recede through the rear window. The desk sergeant was visible behind the glass, hunched over his paperwork beneath the fluorescent lights. For a moment, I had the distinct impression that he was looking directly at me.

Then the cab turned a corner, and the station disappeared.

I waited for the familiar sounds of the town: traffic, distant voices, the rattle of a delivery van over a drain cover. Instead, the noise of the engine seemed to become the only sound in existence.

I leaned forward.

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere you need to be."

"I'm fairly sure I didn't ask for that."

"No," he said. "You asked me to drive."

I sat back.

Outside, the streetlights had begun to stretch. Not physically, exactly. Their reflections elongated across the windows, lingering long after the cab had passed them. The buildings grew indistinct, their upper storeys seeming to lean towards the road as if listening to something beneath the tarmac.

I looked at the driver's mirror.

His eyes were fixed on me.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

"Where are we?"

"On the road."

"That's not an answer."

"It's the only one that matters at present."

I turned towards the window.

The town had gone.

In its place was a long, empty stretch of road beneath a sky that looked neither day nor night. The horizon was a bruised grey, mottled with dark clouds that did not move. There were no trees, no fields, no buildings, and no sign of anything living. The road ran straight ahead, its surface black and wet, though I could see no rain.

White lines divided the lanes. They were too bright, almost luminous, and they seemed to continue beyond the point where the road disappeared into the distance.

A sign stood at the roadside.

L303

Nothing else was written on it.

I turned back to the driver.

"What is this?"

"L303."

"I can read."

"Then we're making progress."

I watched the road for several seconds. I have seen enough strange things in my life to understand that panic is rarely useful. It encourages mistakes, and mistakes are generally expensive. I decided to remain calm, although I could feel the muscles in my shoulders tightening.

"Is this some kind of road between places?"

The driver gave a low whistle.

"Very good."

"Between towns?"

"Between realms."

I looked out of the window again.

There was something moving in the distance. At first, I thought it was a bird, but it was too large and moved in a way that suggested it had never needed wings. It crossed the sky above the road, briefly blotting out a patch of cloud. I could not make out its shape. My mind seemed unwilling to settle on one.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"It means the road goes places."

"Which places?"

"Worlds. Realities. Dimensions, if you prefer the word. Different places with different rules. Some are quite pleasant, I'm told. Some are less so."

"And the road connects them?"

"More or less. It's a conduit. A passage. A bit of infrastructure, if you like."

I stared at him.

"Interdimensional infrastructure."

"You'd be amazed what gets built without a planning application."

Despite myself, I almost laughed. It was an absurd thing to say, and absurdity was reassuring. It implied that there were still rules, even if they were rules I did not understand.

Then I noticed the signs.

They appeared intermittently at the roadside, each one marking an exit. Some were ordinary road signs, with white lettering on blue backgrounds. Others were made from materials I could not identify. One was a slab of something pale and porous, covered in symbols that seemed to crawl when I looked directly at them.

The first sign I could read said:

EXIT 14 — THE KINGDOM OF THE UNFINISHED

The next was simpler.

EXIT 22 — DO NOT STOP

Farther along, a sign stood at an angle, its surface stained with what looked like rust.

EXIT 31 — HOME

I felt my stomach tighten.

"Home?" I asked.

"Some people like to go home."

"Some people?"

"Most, eventually."

I looked more closely at the sign. Beneath the word was a smaller line of text, barely visible in the dim light.

HOME IS WHERE WE KEEP YOU.

I turned away.

"What happens if you take one of these exits?"

"Depends on the exit. Depends on the passenger. Depends on what's waiting on the other side."

"Are these places inhabited?"

"Oh, yes."

"By people?"

The driver laughed.

"Sometimes."

I waited for him to elaborate. He did not.

After a while, he continued.

"Some of the things out there hunt. Some stalk. Some like to play games. Some prefer to trap you and see how long it takes you to realise you're trapped. There are places where you can spend an entire lifetime being chased by something that never gets any closer. Places where you'll meet people who know everything about you, including things you haven't done yet. Places where your shadow belongs to somebody else."

He paused.

"And then there are the ones that don't care what happens to you at all. Those are often the worst."

I found myself watching the windows for movement.

"Why bring people here?"

"Because they're wanted."

"By whom?"

"Whatever happens to be waiting."

"Is that what you do? Deliver people to monsters?"

"I provide a service."

"That's a very generous description."

"I'm a generous man."

There was a silence.

"Are you one of these things?" I asked.

The driver glanced at me in the mirror.

"One of what things?"

"One of the entities that uses the road."

He laughed. It was a genuine laugh, warm and almost human.

"I suppose I am now."

He adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. His hands looked ordinary enough, except that the skin around his knuckles was stretched too tightly, as if there were more joints beneath it than there should be.

"But I wasn't always."

"Explain."

"I was from your world. Your sort of world, anyway. I found this road years ago. I don't know how. I was driving, same as you might be. One minute I was somewhere familiar, the next I wasn't."

"How long ago?"

He considered the question.

"Hard to say. Time doesn't behave properly here. I've been driving for what felt like a few months. It might have been years. It might have been longer than that."

"And you couldn't leave?"

"Not at first."

"What happened?"

He looked ahead, and for the first time his expression changed. The smile faded. The grey skin of his face seemed to sag, and something passed behind his eyes that made me wish I had not asked.

"I drove to the end of the road."

I waited.

"What did you find?"

He shook his head.

"No."

"No?"

"You don't want to know."

"I'm already here. I'd prefer to know what I'm dealing with."

"You think you would. That's the problem."

His voice had become quieter. The engine seemed to grow louder, filling the space between us.

"There are things that can be described, Mr Thorne. There are things you can look at, and things you can be told about, and you can fit them into your head somehow. You might lose sleep. You might drink more than you should. You might spend the rest of your life wishing you'd never heard of them. But you can still understand them."

He glanced at me.

"What I found at the end of the road wasn't one of those things."

I said nothing.

"I can't explain it. Not because I don't want to. Because I can't. I've tried. I've had people ask me, and I've started to tell them, and then I've watched them stop understanding English. One woman forgot how to breathe. Another spent three days insisting that she was a door. A man laughed until his teeth came out."

He paused.

"I don't know if they were mad before I spoke to them. I'd like to think they were."

I looked at the road ahead.

The sky seemed lower now. I had the uncomfortable feeling that the clouds were not above us at all, but beneath something vast that was leaning down to inspect the cab.

"What happened to you?" I asked.

"I made a deal."

"With the things at the end of the road?"

"With the people who manage it."

"People?"

He gave me a sideways glance.

"Would you prefer I called them something else?"

"Yes."

"Then you'll have to be more specific."

I decided not to pursue it.

"They offered me a way to keep going," he said. "A purpose. A job. I drive people where they need to go. Or where someone else wants them to go. In return, I get to stay on the road."

"Forever?"

"Forever is a very long time. I prefer not to think about it."

"And if you refuse?"

He smiled again, but the expression looked wrong now. It stretched his face without warming it.

"I don't refuse."

I glanced at the mirror. For an instant, his reflection seemed to be looking at something behind me, something sitting in the back seat that I could not see.

I turned sharply.

The seat was empty.

When I looked back, the driver was watching the road.

"There are others," he said. "Drivers, I mean. A few of us. I've never met the others. I've heard things, though."

"What sort of things?"

"Stories."

"Tell me one."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you're in my cab, and I'd prefer you not to start screaming."

"I'm not going to scream."

"That's what they all say."

He drove on.

I asked him what happened to the people who made the journey with the other drivers.

He did not answer immediately.

"Some arrive where they're meant to go," he said at last. "Some don't."

"And the rest?"

He shrugged.

"Depends on the driver."

I looked at him carefully.

"You think I'm lucky to have you?"

"I know you are."

The road stretched endlessly ahead. A dark shape appeared beside us, keeping pace with the cab. It was tall and narrow, with limbs that moved in a slow, deliberate rhythm. I could not see its face, but I felt certain it was looking at me.

I watched it through the window until it slipped behind us.

"Did that thing just—"

"Don't look at them," the driver said.

His voice was sharp enough to stop me.

"Why?"

"Because some of them notice."

I faced forwards.

A few seconds passed.

"Did it notice me?"

The driver said nothing.

I did not ask again.

Eventually, the road widened, and a service station appeared on the left. It stood beneath a canopy of flickering lights, its windows dark, its forecourt cracked and uneven. The building looked as though it had been abandoned for decades. Rusted pumps stood in a line beneath the canopy, and a sign above the entrance hung crookedly from one remaining bolt.

The lettering was faded, but I could make out the word REST.

Something had scratched deep grooves into the wall beneath it.

The taxi turned into the forecourt and stopped.

The engine cut out.

For a moment, neither of us spoke.

"Here we are," the driver said.

"Where is here?"

"A service station."

"I can see that."

"Then we're making progress again."

I looked through the windscreen. The forecourt extended into the darkness beyond the station, though there was no visible road leading away from it. A single light flickered above the entrance. Every time it went out, I had the impression that something stood in the doorway.

When it came back on, the doorway was empty.

"Why have we stopped?"

"Your fare is due."

I turned to him.

"What?"

"The fare. Payment for the journey."

"I didn't agree to a fare."

"Everyone pays."

"Not everyone."

His smile disappeared.

"Everyone pays, Mr Thorne."

He said my name as though it were a thing he had tasted and found unpleasant.

I reached for the door handle. It did not move.

"Let me out."

"Not until we settle up."

"I never agreed to be driven anywhere."

"You got into my cab."

"You offered me a lift. I told you to drive."

"Exactly."

"I did not wish to be driven."

The driver stared at me.

For the first time since I had entered the cab, he appeared genuinely uncertain.

"You asked me to drive."

"I did. I did not wish for a journey. I did not wish to be taken anywhere. I did not wish to arrive at this place. I gave you an instruction. You chose to interpret it as consent."

"That's not how it works."

"Isn't it?"

His hands tightened around the steering wheel.

"You got in the cab."

"Yes."

"You knew what I was."

"I suspected you were a problem. I was right."

His jaw shifted. For a moment, I heard a series of small clicks from somewhere inside his face, like the sound of a lock being opened one tumbler at a time.

"You owe me," he said.

"I owe you nothing."

"Everyone owes me."

"Then you must be very busy collecting."

His eyes changed.

I cannot adequately describe what happened to his face. The skin seemed to loosen and slide away from the structure beneath it, revealing something that was not bone. His mouth opened too far, the corners splitting upwards towards his ears. His teeth lengthened, becoming thin, black and numerous. His eyes sank into his skull, leaving behind two dark hollows in which pale lights moved like distant stars.

His hands unfolded around the steering wheel. There were too many fingers. They were long and jointed, their tips ending in small, blunt hooks. The skin between them was translucent, and I could see something moving beneath it, something that pulsed in time with the engine although the engine was no longer running.

The air filled with the smell of wet earth and rotting flowers.

The driver leaned towards me.

His face was inches from mine. I could hear him breathing, although the sound came from somewhere behind his head.

"You will pay," he said.

The words seemed to arrive from every part of the cab at once. The windows trembled. The dashboard lights flickered. Beyond the windscreen, the service station lights began to go out one by one, starting at the far end of the forecourt.

I felt something press against the inside of my skull.

It was not a thought, exactly. More like an invitation to stop thinking. To accept that I was trapped, that the driver had brought me here, that there was nothing I could do except comply.

For a moment, I understood why people gave up hope.

The driver was not simply frightening. He was offering relief from the effort of resisting him. He wanted me to believe that the fight was already over, that resistance was an inconvenience I could put aside.

I refused.

"You're making a mistake," I told him.

The thing in the driver's seat made a sound that might once have been laughter.

"You are in my cab."

"I am in a vehicle you offered to drive. I never made a wish. I never agreed to your terms. Whatever arrangement you have with the people who manage this road, it does not include me."

His mouth opened wider.

"I can take you."

"No. You can drive me. You can frighten me. You can make threats. You can show me whatever you like. But you cannot collect payment for a bargain I never made."

The pressure in my head increased. For a moment, the interior of the cab seemed to stretch away from me, the seats receding into a darkness that was not physically possible. Something moved in that darkness, something large enough that I felt rather than saw its passage.

The driver reached towards me.

His hand stopped a few inches from my chest.

He strained. I could see the tendons in his wrist tightening beneath the translucent skin. The fingers twitched, opening and closing as though they were trying to grasp an object that existed just beyond their reach.

Then he recoiled.

The change was immediate. The pressure vanished. The cab snapped back into its ordinary dimensions. The thing in the driver's seat withdrew its hand and stared at it in disbelief.

"You didn't wish," he whispered.

"No."

"You didn't ask."

"No."

"You didn't give me anything."

"I gave you an instruction. You made the mistake of assuming it was a contract."

He stared at me for a long time.

The thing that wore the driver's face began to change again. The black teeth receded. The mouth closed, slowly and reluctantly, as though the flesh were being pulled back into a shape it no longer fitted. The extra fingers folded into one another and disappeared beneath the skin. The lights in its eye sockets dimmed.

Eventually, the old man was sitting in the driver's seat again, breathing heavily through his nose.

He looked exhausted.

He also looked furious.

"Get out," I said.

He turned towards the windscreen.

For several seconds, he did not move. Then he started the engine.

The taxi reversed out of the parking space and turned towards the road. We drove away from the service station without another word.

The journey back was worse than the journey out.

I could no longer pretend that the driver was simply an unpleasant man with a talent for theatrical intimidation. I had seen what was beneath the disguise, and I knew it had not shown me everything. The road seemed to understand that I was watching it now. The signs passed too quickly to read. Shadows moved at the edges of the headlights. On one occasion, I saw a figure standing in the centre of the road, its arms hanging at its sides, its head tilted towards the cab.

The driver did not slow down.

The figure remained perfectly still as we passed through it.

For a brief moment, I saw it in the rear window, standing on the road behind us. Then the road was empty.

"You were lucky," the driver said at last.

"I've been told."

"You don't understand what you've done."

"I understand that you tried to frighten me into paying a fare I never agreed to."

"That isn't what I mean."

"Then explain."

He shook his head.

"You've made yourself interesting."

I considered that.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"On this road? Yes."

"Who have I made myself interesting to?"

He glanced at me in the mirror.

"Certain parties."

I sighed.

"Of course."

He gave a short, humourless laugh.

"You think this is over because I couldn't touch you? You think that means you're safe?"

"No. I think it means you couldn't touch me."

The driver's face hardened.

"There are other drivers, Mr Thorne. Other ways to travel. Other ways to make a person agree to something. You might not be so clever next time."

"I'll bear that in mind."

"You should."

He drove in silence for a while. Then the road began to change. The black tarmac softened into grey, the sky lifted, and the distant horizon acquired the indistinct shapes of buildings. The streetlights returned, one by one, their familiar orange glow spreading across the road.

I recognised the town.

The taxi slowed.

The police station appeared ahead of us, its windows glowing under the fluorescent lights. The cab pulled up outside the entrance and stopped.

The engine fell silent.

I reached for the door handle. This time, it opened immediately.

Before I got out, I turned to the driver.

"I have one piece of advice for you."

He stared straight ahead.

"Do I want it?"

"Probably not."

"Then keep it."

"I would suggest you choose your passengers more carefully."

He gave a slow, thin smile.

"And I would suggest you be careful where you walk, Mr Thorne. Roads have a way of remembering people."

I got out.

The door closed behind me. When I turned back, the taxi was already moving away. Its rear lights vanished around the corner, and I was left standing outside the station with the cold night air against my face.

For several seconds, I could not move.

I had the sensation that something was still watching me from inside the cab, although the vehicle was long gone. I could almost hear the driver's voice in the back of my mind, repeating the words about roads remembering people.

I went inside.

The desk sergeant looked up from his paperwork.

"Back already?"

"Yes."

He glanced through the window.

"Where did you get to?"

"Nowhere."

He frowned.

"What do you mean, nowhere?"

"I got into a taxi. We didn't go anywhere."

He looked at me for several seconds, then glanced down at his paperwork as though deciding whether the question was worth pursuing.

"Right," he said eventually.

He went back to his work.

I stood there, wondering whether I should tell him what had happened. I decided against it. I had little desire to explain an interdimensional road to someone who would probably ask whether I had consumed alcohol and then refer me to a local mental health service.

I checked the time.

Less than five minutes had passed since I left the station.

I checked it again.

The time had not changed.

I asked the desk sergeant whether I had been gone long.

"Couple of minutes, maybe," he said. "Why?"

"No reason."

I sat down and tried to put the experience into some sort of order.

I could still smell the cab: damp fabric, old smoke, the sickly sweetness of rotting flowers. I could still see the driver's face as it changed, the impossible arrangement of his mouth, the dark hollows where his eyes had been. I could still feel the pressure inside my skull, the quiet suggestion that resistance was pointless.

Most of all, I remembered the road.

The signs. The exits. The things moving beyond the headlights.

And the sense that the road was not empty. That it was crowded with places, and that those places were crowded with things that had been waiting a very long time for someone to arrive.

I was still sitting there when an officer came over and asked if I was all right.

I told him I was fine.

It was not a convincing answer, but it was the best I could manage.

Later, I asked to see the CCTV footage from outside the station.

The recording showed me leaving the building and approaching a black taxi. I opened the rear door, got in, and closed it.

A moment later, I got out again.

I stood beside the cab for a second, looking at it. Then I turned and walked back into the station.

The taxi drove away.

The entire incident lasted only a few seconds.

There was no evidence of the road, the service station, or anything that had happened between those two moments. The footage showed an ordinary street, an ordinary taxi, and an ordinary man getting into a car and immediately getting out again.

I watched the recording several times.

On the final viewing, I noticed something I had missed before.

As I stepped out of the cab, I turned my head towards the rear passenger window.

I could not see the driver's face in the footage. The glass was too dark, the angle too poor.

But just before the taxi pulled away, the rear window descended by a few inches.

I could not hear the recording clearly enough to make out any words.

I do not know whether the driver said anything.

I do know that, as the taxi disappeared around the corner, I was smiling.

I have no recollection of doing so.

I have no recollection of the journey being brief.

And I have no recollection of leaving the taxi.

I would like to conclude this statement by saying that I believe the incident is over. I cannot, however, honestly make that claim.

I have since found myself checking the road signs whenever I travel. I have become reluctant to enter taxis, particularly black ones. I have also developed the habit of looking at the rear passenger window of any vehicle that passes me slowly.

This is not because I expect to see the driver again.

It is because I am beginning to suspect that the driver was telling the truth about one thing.

Roads remember people.

And somewhere, beyond the roads I know, there is a stretch of black tarmac beneath a dead grey sky. There are signs pointing towards places that should not exist. There are exits waiting for passengers who have given up hope.

And there is a driver who knows my name.

I do not believe he has forgotten me.

I am not certain the road has, either.

---

DEPARTMENT FOR TRANSPORT – ANOMALOUS INCIDENT DIVISION

INTERNAL MEMO – EYES ONLY

FROM: Agent [REDACTED], Field Operations

TO: Director [REDACTED]

DATE: January 9th, 2026

SUBJECT: RE: THORNE STATEMENT – TAXI ENCOUNTER – 28/12/2025 – WITNESS M. ANDREWS – UPDATED

Further review of the Thorne statement suggests our initial assessment was mistaken.

Thorne is not merely an unauthorised investigator with an unfortunate tendency to interfere in matters beyond his comprehension. He appears to recognise certain patterns. More concerningly, he seems to understand that some things are best left unobserved.

His encounter with the vehicle designated simply as the Taxi is particularly troubling. The driver offered him a wish. Thorne declined to make one directly, instead exploiting the wording of the offer to obtain information about the road itself. This indicates either prior experience with similar entities or an instinctive grasp of the rules governing them.

Neither possibility is reassuring.

I have reviewed the driver's description of the L303 as a conduit between realms, with exits to locations that do not appear on any recognised map. The terminology is consistent with three incidents officially recorded as transport infrastructure failures. None involved a road. All three resulted in the permanent loss of their investigating officers.

Thorne has, apparently, returned.

I do not consider this evidence of good fortune.

There is a distinction between surviving an encounter and being permitted to leave it. Thorne does not yet appear to appreciate the difference.

I have begun to suspect that the Taxi did not fail to collect payment. I believe it chose not to. The distinction is significant, and I do not like where it leads.

The driver told Thorne that he had made himself interesting. I have reviewed the file on what happens to people who become interesting to certain parties. The file is incomplete. The sections that remain are difficult to read. The sections that are missing were removed by someone with higher clearance than mine, and I have been unable to determine who authorised the redactions or when they were made.

What I can confirm is that none of the individuals referenced in the surviving pages are listed as deceased.

They are listed as ongoing.

I have located one of them. Or rather, I have located what remains of one of them. The individual in question was a surveyor named Ellison who encountered a similar vehicle in 1998. He is currently residing at an address in Reading. He does not leave the house. He does not answer the door. His neighbours believe he died years ago, and I can understand why. When I looked through his window, I saw him sitting in a chair facing the wall. He was not moving. He has not moved in some time, according to the neighbours, though they cannot agree on how long.

The wall he faces is not a wall. It is a door. It has always been a door. The neighbours cannot see it, but I can. I wish I could not. The door is slightly open, and there is something on the other side that is watching him. It has been watching him for twenty-seven years. It will continue watching him for as long as he sits there. He knows this. I could see it in the way his shoulders were set, the way his hands were folded in his lap, the way he did not flinch when I tapped on the glass.

He was not afraid. He was waiting. I do not know what for. I do not want to know what for.

I recommend continued observation, with no direct contact unless authorised by this office. Under no circumstances should Thorne be informed of the material recovered from the Windsor-Slough site. He has already demonstrated a capacity to turn incomplete information into actionable decisions, and I would prefer not to discover what happens when he has the complete picture.

There are indications that the Windsor-Slough material describes procedures. Not for containing anomalies. For negotiating with them. The distinction matters, and I am not certain Thorne would use that knowledge wisely. I am not certain anyone would.

I have read parts of the material. I should not have. There are diagrams. There are names. There are instructions for what to do if you find yourself inside a vehicle that should not exist, travelling on a road that should not be there, with a driver who is not a driver. The instructions are written in second person. They are written as though the reader is already trapped. They are written as though the reader has always been trapped and simply has not noticed yet.

One passage describes the sensation of being driven. It describes the feeling of the seat beneath you growing warm, as though something has been sitting there before you. It describes the sound of breathing that does not belong to you. It describes the moment you realise that the driver has not been speaking to you at all, but to something sitting beside you that you cannot see.

I have not been able to sleep since I read that passage. I have not been able to stop checking the back seat of my car. I have not been able to shake the feeling that something has been sitting there, waiting, for a very long time, and that it is growing impatient.

For the record, I have amended the case classification.

This is no longer a matter of unauthorised access to an anomalous route.

It is a matter of determining what has noticed Thorne, and why it has allowed him to continue.

I would also advise that all references to the L303 be removed from the accessible incident database. Someone has been querying the file from a terminal that does not exist on our network.

The queries began three days before the road was first reported.

The same terminal has since queried Thorne's service record. It has queried the names of his immediate family. It has queried the location of a primary school he attended as a child, which closed in 1987 and was demolished in 1994. The queries are timestamped. Some of them are dated after his encounter with the Taxi.

Some of them are dated before he was born.

I have attached the access logs. Do not open the final file.

I did.

I would rather not discuss what I saw.

What I will say is this: the final file contains a list of names. Thorne's name appears on it. So does mine. So does yours.

The list is not organised alphabetically. It is not organised by date. As far as I can determine, it is organised by how long each of us has left.

I have not been able to determine the units of measurement.

I have not been able to determine which direction the list runs.

I have, however, noticed something else. The list is not static. Names move. They shift position when I am not looking. I have checked the same entry three times and found it in three different places. I have begun to suspect that the list is not a record of who is going to die.

I believe it is a record of who has already been collected. The names at the top have been waiting the longest. They have been sitting in their chairs, facing their doors, listening to something on the other side that never stops watching. They have been waiting for someone to open the door. They have been waiting for someone to let them out.

Or perhaps they have been waiting for someone to join them.

I have stopped checking the list. I have stopped looking at the back seat of my car. I have stopped sleeping entirely. It does not help. The feeling remains. The door remains. The thing on the other side remains, patient and patient and patient, and I am beginning to understand that patience is not a virtue in the places the L303 connects. Patience is simply the ability to wait longer than the person you are waiting for.

I do not know how long I have been waiting.

I do not know when I started.

I am not certain I am the one who is waiting.

END OF MEMO

Leathernecks vs Monsters: Observe and Report, (Episode 1)
Seattle, Victoria, and Vladivostok, December 1918 to January 1919

The sleet came off Elliott Bay sideways, and half the faces on Railroad Avenue were masked by squares of white gauze. Gunnery Sergeant Nathaniel Boone Adams stood under the clock tower at the Colman Dock with his collar up and his own mask hooked over one ear. The city had lifted its mask order in November, when the Armistice came, half the city had kept wearing them anyway, because the dying had not stopped. Adams had watched the influenza go through a troopship at Brest in October. He wore his on one ear, as a courtesy.

Beside him Sergeant Olaf Johansson chewed tobacco behind his mask. There was a brown stain on the gauze the size of a silver dollar.

"That's a disgrace to the uniform," Adams said.
"I'm not in uniform, Gunny."
"Disgrace to the mask, then."

Johansson had a trombone case standing between his boots. There was no trombone in it. The Office had shipped the gun in it from New York, crated on the eleventh of November for a war that ended the same morning.

The Victoria express boat had docked at nine. Her passengers had come down the gangway in their masks, and none of them was a Czech officer with a dueling scar and a blue scarf, which was the description the Office had wired.

At a quarter past ten a man came down alone.

Blue scarf. No mask. He walked with one hand inside his coat. He looked back at the boat, then scanned the crowd. Two men were pushing through the crowd, bowler hats, good overcoats, gauze over their faces. They moved like sharks circling a school of tuna, they did not hurry.

"Them two," Johansson said.
"I see 'em."

The Czech saw them too. He turned north along the waterfront at a walk that wanted to be a run, past the shuttered fish counters and the freight sheds, and the bowlers followed him, and Adams and Johansson followed the bowlers.

The Czech took the market stairs two at a time. Up top the stalls were closing under the gas lamps. A Japanese farmer was stacking cabbages. A boy was hosing fish scales off the planks, and the water was turning to glaze where it ran. The Czech went through it and kept his feet. The first bowler went through it without once looking down.

Adams slipped. He came up with fish scales on one knee and the .45 in his hand, a woman in a gauze mask shouting at him to fetch a policeman.

"We are the police, ma'am," Johansson told her, which was not true, and ran on.

The Czech went into the packing house at the north end, where the fish went onto ice. A door banged. Another.

Inside it was colder than the street. Ice stood in blocks in the sawdust, salmon lay across the blocks in rows with their eyes turned up. One electric bulb hung from a cord. The Czech had his back to the far wall and a revolver out, the first bowler was walking toward him across the sawdust with his hands at his sides.

The Czech shot him twice in the chest.

The bowler staggered, then kept stalking forward.

Adams fired from the doorway. The round took the man high in the back and spun him half around. He looked at Adams over the top of his mask with perfectly calm icy blue eyes. Despite the cold of the ice house he gave off no breath mist.

He reached up and pulled the mask down.

A young face. Clean-shaven. Blue at the lips. It was cold enough in the packing house that Adams's breath hung in front of him in a cloud, and Johansson's, and the Czech's, three clouds under one bulb.

The young man opened his mouth. Nothing came out of it.

Johansson had the Tommy gun out from the trombone case. The drum magazine held an alternating mix of Dr. Barclay's Manchurian Special rounds and copper jacketed slugs. He fired from the hip at six yards.

The five round burst took the man across the chest and the magnesium-silver nitrate of the Manchurian Specials caught. For most of a second the man was a lit up like a Chinese lantern. They saw his ribs and spine through the overcoat. Then the light went out of him and he folded into the sawdust with smoke coming off his collar. There was a smell of hot metal, burnt flesh, and scorched wool, and under it something older and colder, the ozone smell of old stagnant sea water.

Footfalls behind them. Johansson turned whipping the gun around. The second bowler stood in the doorway behind them. He fired again, but his boots slipped on the icy concrete floor. The rounds stitched the wall and shattered block ice, but missed the man.

Johansson ran after him down the stairs and out along the pier in the sleet. The bowler hat never looked back. At the end of the pier he leapt into Elliott Bay without breaking stride. The black water closed over the bowler hat, and that was all.

They stood at the edge breathing heavy, ears ringing from the Tommy gun fire, with their breath going white.

"Water that cold," Johansson said, "a man comes up hollering."

He waited.

Nothing.

When he got back to the packing house he saw Adams crouched over the Czech who was sitting in sawdust against the wall his shirt open. He had not been shot, he had been touched. A black frost bitten hand print was burned on his chest. His face had gone the white of the ice blocks, and there was frost in his eyebrows and in the stubble along his jaw. Adams was talking to him, trying o keep him lucid. The man's eyes were wet, and the wet had frozen in their corners into two small beads.

It was forty degrees in the street, thirty in the ice house it wasn’t cold enough for this.

"Captain Novak?"

”Dah, yes,” his voice was strained, his veins and arteries were turning to ice “Don’t trust Whites, get to Dragonov, he will help... You must stop the madness…Vektor.”

The Czech took Adams's gloved hand. His grip was strong and very cold. He pressed something flat into Adams's palm and closed Adams's fingers over it. He could not speak anymore. When he opened his mouth Adams saw rime on his tongue.

His breath came out in a small cloud. Then a smaller one. Then it did not come out.

Adams opened his hand. It was a stiff yellowed card the size of a playing card, punched through in rows of small square holes.

"What's that? Looks like a player piano sheet." Johansson said.
"Don’t know, but nothing I’d like to dance to."

They came out onto Pike Street into the sleet. On the far corner a man in a logger's coat stood on a crate under a streetlamp, bareheaded and unmasked, addressing six other men who were unmasked too. A Wobbly, Industrial Workers of the World, unionist radicals and not people Adam’s had time to deal with.

"There!" he shouted, and pointed. "There's your capitalist police, fellow workers! Look at them!"

"We're Marines," Adams said.

The Wobbly thought about it. Saw the barrel of Johansson’s Tommy gun protruding from under his great coat. Thought better of pressing his luck.

"That's worse," he said. “You soldier boys best git, you ain’t wanted here.”

#

The Butler Hotel had kept the best bar in Seattle until the state went dry in 1916, and it had kept the mirrors afterward, out of hope. Wang Che had taken the private dining room on the second floor in the name of N. B. Adams, Incorporated. When Adams came in the next evening he was pouring Canadian rye out of a blue willow teapot.

"You are late," Wang Che said. "Also you owe for the teapot."
"I don't own a teapot."

"The corporation owns it." He slid a paper across the cloth. It was a bill, made out to N. B. Adams, Incorporated, San Francisco, and it listed one teapot, rye, Canadian, cups, six, and a last line Adams could not read.

"What's that one?"
"Discretion."

Wang Che, the smuggler and Gunn runner turned entrepreneur, had grown prosperous in San Francisco and wore it across his waistcoat in a gold chain. He owned half a block of Chinatown in Adams's name. 

The rest of the team came in out of the sleet one at a time.

Johansson came first, and put the trombone case under the table and his boots on the trombone case. The bayonet crease along his jaw, from a night behind the Austrian lines in 1916, had gone white in the cold. It did that.

Talbot the Times Picayune Correspondent and reckless adventurer came in limping. He said it was the Marne. But it might have been a Paris taxi on the Boulevard Haussmann with Talbot drunk in the back and the driver drunk in the front.

Corporal Dunn sniffed then sipped his rye but could not smell it. He had smelled and tasted nothing since the gas at Belleau Wood. But he could still feel the burn of the whiskey, he nodded to Wang Che in appreciation of at least that feeling.

Corporal Sheehan sat with his left hand under the table and flexed it where he thought no one could see. Haiti 1915, and a run in with a voodoo priestess and her undead minions had left it numb from the wrist down. 

Private First Class Chavez held his cup with the three fingers Mesopotamia had left him and drank slowly.

Private First Class Smith, who was not actually named Smith, sat with his back to the wall. 

Private First Class Hunt sat beside him writing a letter to a girl in Emporia, Kansas. Adams knew about the girl. Everybody did. She had died of the influenza in October. Hunt wrote to her anyway, every night, and folded the letters into his breast pocket, and nobody said a word about it.

Miss Thorpe, the British Agent, came in off the Canadian train in black wool. She had worn black since the autumn of 1915, since Loos, where her brother had gone over the top into the gas and the wire and not come back. She kissed Adams on the cheek. It surprised him. From her face, it surprised her more.

Lieutenant Colonel Alaric Quarterburn, who had been sitting quietly in the back, stood when she came in. He did it with his left hand on the back of the chair. Thorpe looked at the right-hand pocket of his coat, and then at his face, and sat down without a word.

Ms. Bridgette ‘Cherry’ Muldoon came last and loudest, a rifle case over one shoulder and a grudge over the other. The grudge was Adams. He owed her four dollars from a wager in Port-au-Prince.

"You want it now?" Adams said.
"I want it with interest."
"Put it on the bill," Adams told Wang Che.
"It is already on the bill," Wang Che said.
"When was the last time we all sat down together," Talbot said, "was it East Africa Dar. Es Salaam?"
"It was the Rufiji," Muldoon said. "Pretorius ate a crocodile to win a bet off you."
“You ate a crocodile?” Asked Wang Che.
"It was a small croc."
"It was a big bet," Johansson said, the group laughed then remembered, Moore somberly, “ Right before we lost Clark to those Hun zombies,” and that was the last anybody said of Africa.

At the foot of the table there was a chair nobody took and a cup in front of it. Adams filled the cup from the teapot and set the teapot down, and for a while nobody said anything at all. Barclay would have lectured them about their livers. He would have been right.

The colonel had been there before any of them. He sat at the head of the table with his back to the wall and the window where he could see it, lean, gray at the temples, in a civilian tweed suit that did not make him look civilian. He kept his right hand in the pocket of his coat. Adams watched the pocket all evening. The hand did not come out.

Quarterburn stood.

"Upstairs," he said. "If you please."
#

Novak's coat lay across the bed in Quarterburn's room with the lining slit along with the punch card. The sheet that had come out of it was onionskin, covered on both sides in groups of five letters. Behind it, sewn flat, had been half a ruble note, torn corner to corner.

"Czech Legion field cipher," Thorpe said. "The Office gave me the tables in November. They were very pleased with themselves."
"The words under it are Russian," Wang Che said. "Bad Russian. Just my kind."
"The words under it are whatever the tables say they are."
"The tables are wrong."
"The tables are from the finest British code breakers, Mr. Che."
"Yes," Wang Che said. "That is what I am saying."

Forty minutes, arguing the whole way, she and Che worked the cypher. When they were done Thorpe read it out.

"The last engine of Bakanov is running. The station is called Vektor, above the headwaters of the Suchan. Those who pay for it sit inside the White supply commission at Vladivostok. They have decided that if Russia will not be theirs, it will belong to no one. Our people cannot reach it. Yours must. Contact at the Blessing of the Waters. She will carry the other half."

"Blessing of the what?" Hunt said.

"The Russians cut a cross into a frozen harbor on the nineteenth of January," Quarterburn said. "A priest blesses the water. Then the devout go into it."

"On purpose?" Adams said.
"On purpose."
"And they call us heathens."

Thorpe turned her attention to the punched card. She held it over under the lamp and looked through the holes at the light.

"Jacquard," she said. "A loom card. Except that it is not for a loom, it is for a Bakanov-Baggage device. I’d thought we had gotten them all."

She set it down squared to the edge of the table, and Adams saw her hand stop over it a moment before she took the hand away.

Dunn had the wooden box open on the washstand. Barclay had built it in 1916 out of a naval direction finder, a telephone headset, and parts nobody had asked him about, and since Barclay nobody had been able to make it do anything. The needle lay dead on its pin.

Dunn set the card beside the box.

The needle stirred. It swung a quarter inch, and came back, and swung again, and from the headset lying on the washstand there came a small dry tick. Then another. Evenly spaced.

The radiator knocked. On Second Avenue a streetcar went by with its bell going. Nobody in the room said anything for some time.

"Well, call me a rooster," Adams said. "Doc's box likes it."

He had sipped his tea, nodding appreciatively.

Quarterburn stood at the window with his back to them. He looked around the room “The Turks built one for him and we closed it. The Austrians built one and we closed that. This is his last, and it is his own. If it opens, what comes through will not stop at Siberia." He turned from the window. "The war that ended last month will have been the dress rehearsal."

"Rehearsal," Adams said. "She-it, ain’t nobody ready for that show.”

"I will say this once," he said. "Bakanov must die, and his infernal machine with him,” he paused, his right hand a fist in his pocket, “at all cost.”

#

They took the night boat to Victoria on the twentieth, and in the morning Fort Street was full of Canadians soldiers who did not want to go to Russia.

The 259th Battalion was marching from the Willows Camp to the Outer Wharf, and halfway down the hill a platoon at the rear of the column sat down in the road and would not get up. French Canadians, conscripts, most of them boys. They had been told in November the war was over, and they had believed it. An officer shouted. Another fired his revolver into the air. The rest of the battalion was ordered to take off its belts and drive the sitting men back into the column, and it did, and the sound carried up the street between the shops.

The team stood on the curb with its baggage.

A Canadian captain came past them with his revolver still in his hand. He looked at the trombone case, and at Muldoon's rifle, and at Wang Che.

"Who the hell are you people?"

"Detail #7 International Military Observers," Quarterburn said handing the Captain his credentials holding the Canadian Governor's seal, and speaking in his strong but patient voice “and that's who the hell are you, Colonel.”

The captain looked back at his battalion going down the hill with its own bayonets at its back. 

"Observers,” he looked over the mixed group, noted the Marines uniforms and the womens’ militarized and rugged mufti. “Well, sir,…begging the Colonel’s pardon, I hope you’re observing goes a fat site better than this load out." he said. “I’ll have my Sergeant show you to your breathing but, you’ll have to carry your own kit aboard, this lot would probably throw it in the drink.” 

The Teesta sailed on the twenty-second with a dozen men in irons in her hold. They sang songs of protest in French for three days and then stopped. Off the Kuriles the rigging iced until the crew went aloft with mallets. 

#

The Golden Horn was frozen from shore to shore. An icebreaker had ground a black lane through it, and the Teesta came up the lane on the twelfth of January past the gray bulk of the Brooklyn, locked in the ice at her mooring, her Marines stamping on the quarterdeck in fur hats. On the hills behind the city, under the snow, lay more than a billion dollars of Allied stores bought for a Russian Imperial army that no longer existed: shells, wire, rails, boots, stacked in warehouses of their own and rows of unused motor trucks rusting in fenced cantonments.

Every flag the Entente owned hung over the harbor. There were Czech sentries on the station platform in patched greatcoats, Japanese patrols in pairs on every corner, Canadian military police on the quay, French colonial infantry from Tonkin stamping in the snow in kit cut for the tropics, and an Italian armored train breathing steam in the yards. Prices came in yen and dollars and the rubles of three governments, some still in uncut sheets.

At American headquarters a staff captain with a head cold explained General Graves's instructions. The United States took no side in Russia. The United States guarded railways and stores. The United States did not fight Bolsheviks or Cossacks or anyone else if it could help it.

"And as far as this headquarters is concerned," the captain said, "you are not here."

"Assure the General, we will be discreet, it is our byword." Quarterburn said.

The captain wrote that down and then crossed it out.

#

The White Russian stores commission sat in a requisitioned bank on the Svetlanskaya. Colonel Prince Vsevolod Obolov received them in an office with no fire in it, behind a desk the size of a coffin. He did not rise. He smoked the whole time, each cigarette lit from the last, and the smoke hung in front of his face in the cold, and Adams, watching his own breath fog the air, could not have said where the Prince's breath ended and the smoke began.

"The motor trucks," the Prince said. His English was Oxford. "The motor trucks are the property of the Russian Imperial Army."

"Then the Russian Imperial Army is no more, it will not mind," Wang Che said.

The Prince regarded him for a long moment through the smoke.
"No trucks," he said.
#

At four o'clock that afternoon, in Quarterburn's room at the Hotel Versailles, someone knocked twice, waited, and knocked twice again.

Major Sir Alistair Higgins came in with a spirit stove under his one arm and a kettle hanging from his little finger. His left sleeve was pinned to the shoulder with a gold safety pin. He set the stove on the writing desk and lit it and put the kettle on before he said a word.

"Four o'clock," he said. "Hello, Alaric. Hello, Adams. You look terrible. Everyone does. It's the country."

Behind him came a small square Frenchman in a colonial greatcoat with a haversack on his shoulder. Sergeant Pierre LaFontain put his ear flat to the wall beside the door and stood there with his eyes shut for half a minute before he shook anyone's hand.

"Good wall," he said at last. "Nobody behind."

"The Hejaz," Muldoon said. "Romania. And now this."

"Now this," Higgins said. "The French lent him to me. They were very gracious about it. I believe they were relieved."

Pierre simply grinned and pulled route maps of the Suchan and the upper rivers, drawn by hand, the passes marked in red ink, from his rucksack. “But Mon Cher, Cherry, I bring gifts. 

In the street below the window a closed Packard Motorcar went by flying a White pennant. Higgins stopped with the kettle in his hand. He scratched at the pinned sleeve, slowly, where the arm had been, and watched the motorcar out of sight.

"Whose is that?"

"The Prince from the stores commission," Wang Che said. "The one who said no."

Higgins made the tea.

#

On the nineteenth, the Feast of the Theophany by the old calendar, the whole city went down onto the ice.

They had cut a cross into the harbor ice below the Admiralty quay, a cross the length of a whaleboat, and stacked the cut blocks at its head into an altar, and the water in the cross lay black and smoking in the cold. Priests in gold stood at the head of it. Behind them stood the city: merchants in beaver, soldiers of eight armies, Cossacks, Koreans, Chinese, women with children on their shoulders, thousands of people breathing out, and the breath of all of them rose together into a single white cloud and hung over the ice in the sun.

A knot of Japanese officers stood near the quay with their hands behind their backs. They watched the Americans more closely than they watched the priests.

Wang Che andd Adams stood on the edge of the broken ice, Wang Che had the  half ruble. He said a word in Cantonese that Adams knew. Adams looked up.

The old woman stood at the foot of the cross in a red shawl, with half a ruble note pinned to the shawl where anyone could see it. The two men began to work their way toward her through the crowd. Wang Che reached her. She pushed the half ruble into Wang Che's glove and said something in Russian. Then she went into the cross, red shawl and all, and the water closed over her. 

“Russians, they are crazy.”

Wang Che took them sideways along the frozen shore under the warehouses, through a door in a wall that had no business having a door in it, and down into Millionka.

The Chinese quarter went down into the hill under the city in cellars and passages dug for opium and gambling and kept for everything else. Two Chinese soldiers with rifles stood at the first turning. Wang Che said a sentence to them and put something into the nearer one's hand, and both soldiers turned around and studied the wall.

They went through an opium room full of men lying on shelves in the smoke. Not one of them looked up. Adams checked each one going past. Every one of them was breathing normally, as normally as anyone chasing the dragon.

In a room at the bottom of a stair, beside a brazier, Wang Che opened his fist.

"Tsemukhe road," he said. "Verst forty. That is what she said."
"That's all?"
"She also said we were late," Wang Che said. "I did not think that needed translating."

#

The stores of the White commission stood on the Churkin shore behind barbed wire, in sheds and in the open under tarpaulins and snow. Four Ford one-ton trucks stood in a row with canvas over their beds and the drifts to their hubs.

The gate had one padlock. The shed had three. LaFontain took heavy bolt cutters from his haversack, and said a name over each one and snapped them clean.

"Saint Barbara," he said to the first. "She is for the gunners. Saint Rita. She is for impossible things."

Talbot sat on the running board of the first truck with a pencil and a Russian form he had got from God knew where, and wrote out a requisition for four motor trucks in the name of the International Military Observervation Mission, United States Marine Corps, and signed it C. H. Lauchheimer, Brigadier General, in a hand Lauchheimer might have mistaken for his own.

"Needs a witness," Talbot said.

Higgins took the pencil in his one hand and signed beneath. "Witnessed," he said, "on behalf of His Majesty."

There was no alcohol for the radiators anywhere in the commission's stores. There was vodka. The commission had seized it in November from a Chinese bootlegger and stacked it in the same shed as the trucks. Forty-two bottles went into four radiators. Adams poured the last one himself.

"I want it wrote down," he said, "that I objected to this abuse of alcohol."
"So noted," Quarterburn said.

The trucks caught on the third try, and the fourth, and the exhaust came out of them in white clouds, and the radiators steamed, and the whole yard smelled of a Russian wedding.

#

They left the city by the Suchan road before midnight with the headlamps dark, and lit them past the last guard post. The road climbed. The snow drifted. In the lead truck Wang Che counted the verst posts aloud in Russian, and Higgins corrected his pronunciation, and Wang Che corrected Higgins.

At verst thirty-nine Private Dunn settled Barclay's box across his knees. The needle had swung hard to the northeast, and the ticking in the headset came very fast.
At verst forty the headlamps illuminated men. 

They stood across the road in a line from snowbank to snowbank, forty or fifty of them, in sheepskins and army greatcoats and fur hats, with their rifles up. Every one of them was breathing. Adams saw that first, from habit. Then he saw the rifles.

Somewhere in the dark beyond the line a gramophone was playing. Horns, climbing, and a drum beneath the horns. Muldoon, who had toured the capitals of Europe with a Wild West show before the war, said the name of it under her breath. Strauss.

A big voice rolled out of the dark in Russian, and then in bad English.

"Americans! Welcome to the Revolution!"

Fifty bolts went home together.

"Fire!"
###

You can see accompanying artwork, “field sketches” here: https://www.reddit.com/r/WorldsEdgeDispatches/s/zY84BdJ64u 

“Yurvan was a gentle and foolish young man,” started Varya, toying with a hazel twig, “although he never lacked for cunning. Compared to his siblings, his Artistry was unremarkable, a fragment of the inherited power that overflowed in them. His family expected nothing from him, recognizing Yurvan as the least of them. Despite this, his heart and belly brimmed with desire, while his mind wove the most frenzied fantasies around it. He dreamed of wonderful and terrible deeds – an achievement that would make him worthy in the eyes of his beloved.

“Only she, Yurvan believed, could mend him. She was a creature of fearsome power and presence. Her feats were whispered about throughout the forested lands, her beauty unmatched by any of her sisters. Her coven was known for its Sanguine Arts and prodigious appetite, its lust for life unending. Yurvan longed to impress her. Foolishly, he wished to be her equal one day. But what could a simple man like him offer to a witch of such severity?

“Yurvan committed his limited self to alchemy and the lesser pursuits – that means Sorcery, Yaro – deciding to fashion the perfect gift: a flower, a living thing, that would never deplete and would always keep her sated. Its pistil was a deep ruby, pulsing softly and innocently like a heart.” One of the leaf-buds swelled between Varya’s fingers, its imbricate green scales opening and closing. “It was a mystery, this gift, the culmination of his mad strivings. Despite the dismay and ridicule of his family, Yurvan was unrelenting. His body and ardors – even bits of his marrow, supposedly – flowed into the creative ordeal. Little remained of poor Yurvan once the flower was ready.

“When his fervent work was done and his home quieted, he traveled to the witch, hoping to earn her favor. The coven’s hold was deep within the birchen grove. The weakened man struggled to find her, but she awaited him. He presented the bleeding flower to her, expecting praise, even reciprocity. Her pale palms–”

“Don’t make her sound like a sunk,” Yaro interrupted.

Varya sighed. “Her pale palms were soon slick and scarlet with the essence of Yurvan’s offering. She smiled approvingly, but her amusement disturbed him. The witch spoke kindly of his efforts while her eyes remained cold and curious.

“Before he could reconsider, she ensnared him. He fell to her feet, betrayed and bewildered. His beloved explained: ‘A considerate gift, without a doubt. It is the blood of your own kin that flows through this thing of beauty, is it not? Yet not even they can satiate us. You have given us a single flower, but we require a bountiful garden.’

“Thereafter, Yurvan was made subject to the coven, bound to care for the bud of his own flesh and its festering progeny. It fed and delighted the witches, adorning their domain with its ceaseless crimson streams. The flower spread its leeching roots into the nearby villages and far beyond. He had given too much of himself; his hope was spent and his mind unrecoverable. Reduced and hollowed, he bore the weight of his own creation.

“The little red flowers sprouted from the wandering puppet and stained their lands. The witches started calling him their gardener. His beloved mended him many times. Yurvan endured in her care, blooming and withering dutifully, for she had called his gift beautiful.”

Yaro watched through his binoculars. “What a sap,” he said. “Really was a fool.”

Varya squinted at him. “Why?” she demanded.

“Decades of work. For what? A flower?”

“For love,” answered Varya, throwing the branch at him. “You just don’t understand it, Yarik.”

Yaro lowered the binoculars and gave her the sort of smile that made mockery difficult to resent. He was a handsome Vanaha boy in an ordinary way, strong without being broad, with short dark hair and a nose that had healed cleanly after a break. The old field jacket exaggerated the soldierly impression he cultivated, though his clean face and nineteen years did their best to undo it. “It’s villagey fairytalk, Var. Maybe there was a Yurvan, maybe there wasn’t. Maybe the witch made it herself and a random guy took credit. Doesn’t change anything. It infested Morvin Mir and is making nectar out of their buried. We can get some of it. That’s what I care about. Also, weren’t they related?”

“Who?”

“Yurvan and his witchie darling. Cousins or something like that.”

Varya frowned. “So what?” she demanded. Yaro made a face and shrugged. “It was the fifteenth century when it supposedly happened. Besides, that doesn’t make what he did less beautiful.” She had dressed sensibly for the cold: black cargo trousers over heavy boots, a dark sweater and a striped athletic jacket at odds with the rest of her sunk outfit. Her hair compensated for it, dyed an emphatic jet black around a fawnish, fine Vanahan face, as did the black around her eyes and the chipped varnish on her nails.

“What do you think?” she said. “Ilya.”

While Yaro and Varya argued, Ilya had wandered to the nearest tree. He had discovered a rounded object in the moss and mulch below a tree trunk, too smooth and pale to belong there. He picked it up. An egg, blue-green with a sparse freckling of brown. There seemed to be no crack on it. Ilya investigated the hazel tangle above them. The first buds had begun to loosen, but there was no nest that he could see.

“What is it?” Varya asked.

“Blackbird, I think. Early.” He pressed it lightly between both palms and reached with his Art for whatever life might be hidden inside. He felt nothing certain.

“Are you going to put it back?”

“If only I knew where it belongs.”

“Maybe you can cook it,” said Yaro offhandedly.

Varya watched him search the branches a while longer, then smiled. “Well, what do you think? About the story.”

When no nest appeared, Ilya slipped the egg into his coat pocket. He was the youngest of them, long and narrow where Yaro had already filled out. His tawny hair had grown past the point where it stayed neatly parted, and his brown Vanahan face tapered sharply after the cheekbones. A bottle-green cable-knit sweater showed under his unbuttoned gray coat. “He made it for her,” he said uncertainly. “To gain her love and trust. He even presented it to her knowing that neither was guaranteed to him. To me, that’s beautiful. It’s one of the nicer versions of the story.”

Varya looked at him with quiet approval. “See, Yarik? He’s younger but he gets it.”

Yaro said nothing and kept surveying the land through the binoculars. Their slope flattened to a thicket of hazel, hiding them from the road and graveyard below. Sol had already slumped somewhere behind them and the sky was agloam. Morvin Mir lay quiet under them. At its stream-edged skirt lay the graveyard. It occupied the low hill beyond the last houses. It was much larger than the village seemed to require, spreading around the church. The Vampiric Extirpation Division had sectioned off one part of it with temporary fencing and strips of yellow tape. White lamps were erected among the graves. The VED personnel were packing up, cases being carried to the dark vehicles along the road. Then engines started in rapid succession. The remaining policemen had little left to do except watch the road and keep the nosy villagers away.

“They're clearing out,” said Yaro. He tracked the departing vehicles through the binoculars. “Give them two minutes. Then we move.”

 

*

 

They went down the far side of the hill, away from the village, through the hazel, then pivoted along the slope. Yaro had scouted the route before solset and picked the easiest crossing of the stream. It added several hundred meters, but kept them out of sight of the road and the last houses of Morvin Mir. Leaf litter slid beneath their shoes as they descended sideways.

The stream was enlarged by thaw and rain, carrying the smell of black mud and wet leaf mould. It ran brown between banks of pebbled earth. A frog kicked away through the flooded grass. Yaro crossed quickly and helped Varya and Ilya. “Don’t step on them, Ilya,” he whispered. “They might hear it.”

The ground rose again on the other side. The church and rectory appeared intermittently through the branches above them, the black timber and cupola rising above a slumped stone barrier. The fence was old iron at the front, but along the wooded rear boundary it had been bolstered with wire mesh. The stone wall was an older, defunct border. Yaro stopped them with a raised fist. “Down.” He brought up the binoculars.

The nearest police car had gone, but not all the police. One walked slowly along the lower path with a flashlight, stopping now and then to inspect the graves. Another was farther away near the gate. Portable VED lamps still burned at the site of the graveburst, though the specialists themselves appeared to have left.

“Why are they still here?” Varya whispered.

Yaro watched. “Security detail. Veddies probably told them to hold the perimeter.”

They waited. The policeman on the lower path disappeared near the rectory. The other remained near the gate, a cigarette appearing and disappearing as a tiny orange point. “Now,” said Yaro. After a short sprint, he found a section sagging between two concrete posts. He threw the shovel and backpack over, climbed, then held the wire down with his gloved hands.

Varya and Ilya dropped quietly onto the other side.

From the hill they had seen an orderly grid of graves. Now they saw the tangle of tombstones facing different angles and standing at different heights, fitted wherever earlier generations had left space. The newer plots nearer the road were edged in concrete or enclosed by low iron rails. Their stones were polished and square, their fronts carved with twelve-part rings around photographs, names and dates. Plastic flowers and votive cups crowded the bases. The same twelvefold pattern repeated in the ironwork, little circles divided by twelve radial bars. Farther uphill, an older order remained, but only in ruin. Older stelae, with epitaphs effaced, leaned into one another or barely protruded from the flattened sward and early crocuses.

They kept low. Yaro moved quickly from stone to stone whenever the lower path was hidden. Varya followed. Ilya kept glancing toward the church. It was smaller from here than it had seemed across the valley. Rickety, even.

All three stopped as a flashlight passed between the bilobed tombstones and monuments. The beam wandered over the row in front of theirs, illuminated a lichenous Saint in weathered sage-green plaster, verdigrised spear raised, then passed. Footsteps and coughs followed. The policeman seemed in no particular hurry. They waited behind the village kenotaph, a broad stone monument to the unrecovered dead, until he moved on. Yaro flicked two fingers forward.

The VED equipment made the graveburst easy to locate. Yellow tape enclosed nine plots. Temporary metal stakes had been driven into the soil around it. The middle one had been opened. The odor was not the thick rot Ilya had expected. A sweet note lingered in the air, like stale rice. The plot was completely excavated and widened; the tombstone was knocked backward in the process. Heavy clods of earth, splinters from the coffin and other debris, as well as dozens of footprints, littered the neighboring plots. A whitish sludge had gathered in one low corner and been partly covered with white sorbent.

Varya leaned over the tombstone. “Radavan Kolitka.” She wiped the damp grit from the inscription. “Nineteen twenty-one to eighty-five. He hasn’t been here long. Saints, I didn’t know gravebursts were this violent. It’s like it detonated.”

“Not a detonation,” said Yaro, inspecting the surrounding damage. “If this were a charge or a shell, you’d get a cleaner displacement and more fragmentation. Slow internal pressure, maybe over weeks, then rupture through the weakest point.”

“It doesn’t matter,” said Varya. “We know what did it.”

“Right,” he said and nodded at Ilya. “You’re going in.”

The smell thickened inside, rot admixing with the sweetness. He brushed aside loose earth and examined the cut wall. Most of the roots were ordinary: fibrous, woody, dull. The parasite’s haustorial rootlets were smoother and almost bluish, with vascular interiors. But those were not what he wanted. The overfeeding that led to the graveburst should have bloated the conduit as well. An earthworm worked free of the side he was searching and curled near his wrist. Ilya frowned and recoiled, flicking it away into the dirt.

“I think I have it,” said Ilya, groping the area under the tombstone. He uncovered more of it. The root was dark red-brown, smooth except for faint longitudinal ridges. Clear exudate had beaded at the severed end. He took his compact knife and shaved away a thin section. Fresh sticky droplets welled up immediately. He smelled it, cheek against the dirt. Almost floral, but too faint and mild to resemble perfume. Beneath it was fermenting fruit and the iron tang so familiar to all Sanguimancers.

For a moment, the grave was very quiet.

“Anything?” Yaro asked.

“Yeah,” said Ilya. “I found the one feeding the burst.”

Ilya returned to the rootlet, inhaled and scooped some of the sweet droplets. The sound above changed. The scuff of shoes on grass. He glanced up. Yaro and Varya were gone. Light appeared beyond the lip of the grave. A flashlight. He crouched immediately.

The beam crossed the yellow tape and widened over the disturbed soil. It passed over one of the VED markers, then along the opposite wall. Ilya held dead-still in the grave. Unhurried footsteps approached. The light stayed fixed for several seconds somewhere just beyond the grave, then moved away. After a while, Yaro appeared at the edge.

“Keep going,” he mouthed.

Ilya nodded as Yaro disappeared. He brushed away more earth around the root and pulled at it. The thicker section descended diagonally into the wall, then vanished. It had been taking from the corpse. So he nicked his fingertip with the knife and pressed it to the wounded end. It imbibed him gladly but patiently, as no animal can. Ilya squeezed out more. The root took that too.

His Art was meagre, but he knew his own blood. First there was only the prick in his finger and the warmth teeming around it. Then parts of him were elsewhere. The sensation passed from the wound into the root and away from him. He followed it uphill. A narrow vessel joined another, then broadened. His trace thinned – and in moments he could not distinguish himself clearly from whatever already circulated there.

The dark earth was against his face. The root he held was not a pipe between corpse and flower, nor some blood-hungry beast, nor the fabled Mul-Rasatala, nor Yurvan himself. Subterranean channels crossed, narrowing around individual coffins and widening where several dead contributed to the same flow. Matter passed through all of it; harvested, altered, sent elsewhere and returned. His own trace entered it and became difficult to separate the further it travelled. Some channels felt ancient. Others were new, exploratory runners reaching blindly for recent burials. Not the simple order of roots spreading wherever earth permitted them, but pullulation subdued from within. The plexus abandoned poor paths and strengthened rich ones. It circled rock and masonry effectively, found flesh and redirected nourishment in its direction. As the simple, thoughtless thing drank of him, Ilya could not help but consider it beautiful, even brilliant.

His few drops were almost gone now, diluted into a vast pool, but their last recognizable trace drew uphill through two converging branches. Both entered a concentration unlike anything else he had felt – a node, he quickly realized. His blood touched its margin and disappeared into its circulation. Beneath, a hundred buried currents made one wave; under many sepulchral shallows, the dead are one.

The shadow of the boy-soldier crept over the grave. “Well?” he said into the hollow below. “Is it done?”

Ilya startled when he noticed Yaro staring. “Uphill,” he said hazily. “There’s a knot there. The flow mixes with tree sugars, so probably under one of the oaks.”

“The rhizosoma?” asked Yaro. “The root-body?”

“I doubt it,” said Ilya. “But I’ll find it.”

Yaro smiled, lowering his hand for Ilya.

 

*

 

Ilya led them toward the church. His first attempt had carried him far enough to know which way it ran. What remained of it had dispersed into a busy confluence somewhere nearer the older plots. He followed the remembered pull between the graves until it brought him to a broad tree growing from the corner of a family enclosure. The tree itself looked healthy, and its lower branches were budding while the others nearby were still bare. Ilya examined the root flare, found a soft place and nicked the bark. He reopened the cut and pressed it to the wound. The blood returned easily. This time there was no hesitation in him and the current was stronger than before. For a moment it spread around the node; then a branch of the flow broke from the tangle and continued uphill. He followed the trace until it weakened and died out.

“This way,” he said.

They crossed the remaining graveyard in stages. Twice Yaro stopped them as a policeman’s flashlight moved along the paved path. Nearer the church they had to lie flat behind a broad slab while the two policemen stopped to talk. Marble, granite and concrete disappeared on the other side. The paths narrowed and finally ceased being paths. Low footstones bearing indistinct names and wooden stakes carrying duodecimal rings were planted among last year’s bramble and fresh nettle shoots. Downhill stood a truncated ossuary, a mouldering building with a sagging roof and corroded iron door. Boscage had swallowed much of the rear boundary.

Ilya slowed. The trace pointed to the closest oak. He stopped beside it and put his hand onto an exposed runner. The absorption was more intense, drawing from him more hungrily and steadily. They crossed to another oak, then a third nearer the rear woods.

Yaro and Varya watched him as he roamed furtively from tree to tree, over the graves and mounds.

“You lost it?” asked Yaro.

“It’s close,” said Varya. “Isn’t it?”

The major runners converged between three cankered oaks. What Ilya had mistaken for another node was only the outer circulation of a larger mass. It was at the rear of the ossuary, in a slightly uneven stretch of land where no discernible tombstones or monuments remained.

“It’s here somewhere.” Ilya sounded strained. “Sorry, I can’t be more precise.”

“That’s fine,” said Varya. She pulled out a small juice carton from her knapsack and held it to him. “Here, it’s blackcurrant. You’ve spent plenty of yourself. It helps.”

Ilya took it with a muttered thanks, smiling briefly.  “I think I need to sit down.”

“We haven’t found anything yet,” said Yaro. “Only a place to start digging.” He was already taking off his pack. He unfolded the shovel with a metallic click, locked the blade straight and drove it into the soil.

Ilya had given him a direction, not an exact point. He sat at the foot of one of the oaks with the juice between his hands. Yaro paced out the likely line of the buried flow, marked a short strip from the ossuary toward the woodland, and began cutting across it. He sliced the sward into rough squares and stacked the turf beside the ditch, green side upward, as though he intended to put them back together when they were done. Varya helped first by clearing loose branches and old bramble from the strip he chose, then moved the squares of turf as he cut them. The weather had softened the topsoil, and the shovel entered easily. Below the turf the earth remained colder and firmer. He threw the loosened soil aside in black heaps. The cut lengthened into something resembling a shallow field trench.

Yaro had opened a narrow trench nearly two meters long and no more than thirty centimeters deep when the shovel finally met a thing other than soil or stone. He pressed down, testing it. His grin appeared immediately. “There you are.” He dropped to a crouch and scraped the flat of the blade across it, shaving away the clinging soil.

“Wait,” said Ilya. “Let me.” He dropped beside the ditch and cleared the loose clay. It appeared gnarled and hard where the shovel had polished it.

“The rhizosoma,” said Varya.

“Only the uppermost part. The mass I felt is below it. But this should do.”

Clay had compacted around the growth and came away reluctantly. They worked along its sides rather than through it, widening the hole until the buried mass started to show its shape. A broad ridge emerged, then a shallow depression and another prominence below it. Several curving struts branched from a single line at regular intervals and disappeared into the soil. A broad triangular plate lay across part of them. It could have been part of an upper back. The surface was sallow and swollen, resembling a caudex.

Yaro crouched beside them. For a few seconds none of them said anything.

“Those look like ribs,” said Varya.

Yaro laughed once, quietly. “Yeah… Like somebody just curled up and died. But these aren’t bones.”

“Find the spine,” she said. “That’s where I can tap it.”

Once Yaro and Ilya had uncovered the long, segmented taproot, they made room for Varya. She climbed into the dugout and crouched over the exposed mass. Her touch traveled across it slowly. “Yaro, give me your knife and prepare the bottles,” she commanded. “Ilya, bring me a scion. Long enough to work with, healthy bud.”

Both nodded and obeyed. Yaro gave her the knife and prepared the four clean plastic bottles he had brought, squat and translucent. He had also brought a funnel, sealed inside a plastic bag. Ilya wandered around, searching for the right species. Even by night, life spread out sarmentose; over the ossuary stone, it waits to be reborn.

Soon enough, the pale girl had a suitable rose. “Perfect,” she said, “except for the one thorn.”

“Sorry,” said Ilya. “I don’t see it. I’ll get more.”

The other rose cuttings Ilya brought were nearly the length of her forearm, bare except for a few tight reddish buds at the nodes. Varya pared the scions one by one, fitting each into the incision and supporting it with her Art. The first three failed. The fourth was accepted by the rootstock. Her face beamed before either of them saw anything. Then the bud fattened visibly. Its scales loosened, a green point pushed through, and the new growth lengthened between her fingers. Only then did the petals begin to part. The pedicel stiffened, then bowed beneath a new weight.

Yaro stood above Varya now, feet planted on opposite sides of the dugout. “Is it working?” he whispered.

The flower opened only halfway. Its corolla tightened around the swelling pistil. A bead rose slowly from the folds. Soon it was a ruby, dark crimson between the pressed petals, trembling without falling. Varya smiled, standing from her work. Yaro caught her around the waist and lifted her up, kissing her neck and cheek as he held her. She laughed and tried to wiggle away. “You’re brilliant,” he said.

Ilya busied himself with the funnel, but the first drop fell onto his skin before he was ready. He rubbed it between index and thumb, admiring it beyond its Artistic utility. Made of the same stuff that flowed through him but refined beyond comparison. He smelled it, wanted to taste it. Another bead had begun forming at the pistil. “Ilya,” said Yaro. He was watching him, arms still around Varya. “Don't waste it. You’re playing with real money there. Almost a hundred fifty Eisenmarks for a hundred milliliters.”

“Eisenmarks?”  jeered Varya. “Since when do you look to the West?”

Yaro eyed her up and down. “And where do you think the sunk look came from? Nagarvan’s sunken districts?”

“Are you calling me a trend-chaser, Lieutenant Yarovan?”

“Of course not, Varvara.” He grinned. “I just know a guy who goes to Eisenstadt once a month. He can get us a better price there, even after his cut. They don’t have the flower growing anywhere near there.”

Varya watched the bottle fill. The red drops were beginning to cover the bottom. “We’ll discuss that later.”

Ilya counted the other bottles. “That’s seven hundred and fifty each, right?”

“If there’s enough to fill them,” said Varya.

“There will be.” His grin was greedy and gleeful. “I’m taking you somewhere good when we get back to Nagarvan.”

“With whose money, I beg?”

“Mine, of course.” He leaned down to kiss the top of her head.

“Couldn’t have done any of this without you, Ilya,” Varya said. “You should come with us.”

The first bottle continued filling, one beautiful drop at a time. It took longer to fill than Yaro had expected. By then there was nothing for any of them to do except watch the graft bleed the rhizosoma. “We need someone to keep watch. A sentry.” Ilya followed his gaze to the church. “You can see the lower path from there,” he said. “And the gate.”

“Why him?” Varya asked.

“Because you have to make sure the tap stays on.”

“You could go as well. Or take turns.”

Yaro smiled. “If someone comes, I pack. You pull the graft. He watches.”

Varya looked at Ilya. “It’s fine,” he said.

Yaro pulled the binocular strap over his head and held them out. “Go uphill. If either of those cops starts coming close, signal us.” Ilya took the binoculars. “Two flashes. One if they turn around.” He took a small flashlight from his jacket and handed that over too. “Hurry.”

 

*

 

The ground rose sharply before the ossuary. Ilya crouched by the corner of the church. From there he could see surprisingly far downhill. Both policemen were near the gate, smoking. Neither seemed inclined to come any closer. After a while they started in the direction of the graveburst site. No danger there. He trained the binoculars on the thin copse below the ossuary. He could not see Yaro or Varya anywhere else. Ilya moved a few steps sideways and tried again. Nothing. He considered going back down and telling them that the police were staying near the gate.

There was no reason to pursue the thought surfacing in his green, maculated mind. He was alone on the watch, and could easily have dozed off, or at least rested.

No reason to do it again.

Ilya checked the path once more through the binoculars then put them aside. A strange, appetitive mood had already overtaken him. He was flushed, ashamed.  

No reason. Again.

He went to the nearest oak; one they had skipped following the trail. He uncovered a promising root facing the church and reopened the cut on his index finger. It accepted him immediately. His blood dispersed and he made no effort to follow its course this time.

Within moments he could no longer tell where he ended and the others began. They all met and merged somewhere underground, drawn to the same wellspring. Hiving, brought together, manifold and serried – neither visages, nor vessels, nor wills remain. One inevitable flow for the pricked and buried, life and death, both tributaries of the vernal vein. A composite circulation, gathering and refining until all those separate streams became a single, sublime substance: the raktic nectar of the vampiric flower.  The sheer pleasure of it surprised him. It teemed and abounded yet made room for him.

When he finally pulled away, he had to lean on the trunk. His pulse seemed to continue underground for several seconds after the link had been severed. He chuckled once under his breath, dizzy. He finished the carton of blackcurrant juice from his pocket as he rested below the tree. He wiped sweat from his brow and shrugged his coat down off his shoulders.

A blackbird sang from the bare canopy above him. Ilya looked up at the sharp, repeated call. After a moment, he remembered the egg in his pocket. He drew it out and turned it between his fingers. It had warmed inside his coat. Although he was exhausted, he tried to probe it again. It answered through the thin turquoise shell. He could make out the beginning of a web of vessels spreading across the yolk, not yet properly a bird but no longer merely a possibility. Its nascent life fluttered weakly in response to his Art.

Ilya’s face tightened and his eyes watered unexpectedly. He wiped his face with the sleeve of his other arm. He looked up into the branches, searching more earnestly this time. Still no nest. The blackbird had moved farther away and continued calling from another tree. “Sorry.” There was nowhere to put it back. Ilya crouched beside the tree. He found and widened a hollow between roots. He lowered the egg into it gently. Only a faint greenish speck remained. “You belong here now.” He drew the earth over it and pressed the leaves into place.

He turned to go and the church was right there, beside him the whole time. Only now did he see it properly. The sill beams were black with damp, their grain raised and split. Several had been repaired with shorter boards of visibly newer wood. The low foundation was stone, unevenly mortared and mossed. The steep roof overhung the walls, patched with sheets of metal where the old covering had failed. The narrow belfry rose to a sharp point.

Ilya circled it.

The building was hardly larger than one of the houses in Morvin Mir, the rectory adjacent even smaller. Ilya looked through one of the windows and quickly jerked back. For an instant he had thought it was in the middle of mass. He waited, embarrassed though nobody had seen him, then returned to the glass. There were no people inside, only flowers. They occupied the nave in such quantity that the darkness had given them the semblance of a congregation. Roses rested in jars and metal pitchers along the walls, hothouse blooms far too lush for the season. Bundles had been laid before the iconostasis. Others filled the ends of benches, crowded the window ledges and gathered around the stands before the icons. Pale blooms caught what remained of the evening through the opposite windows; darker ones disappeared almost completely into the interior.

There must have been hundreds. Ilya stared captive.

Then he remembered the date. Of course, the spring equinox – The Feast of Saint Marcelin. There had been a service that day. People from Morvin Mir and the surrounding villages would have brought offerings with them. Roses especially. Marcelin was impossible to imagine without them. He moved to the next window. Narrow benches occupied either side of the nave. A battered wooden lectern stood before them, still draped in the green of the feast. The floor appeared to be bare boards.

Ilya glanced downhill. The policemen were at the gate. Yaro and Varya were out of sight. He turned off his flashlight. Mud had dried in overlapping footprints across the boards at the entrance. Ilya touched the door handle, expecting it to be locked. The latch withdrew with a dry click.

Maja took the roast out of the oven and set the baking pan down on a wooden board in the middle of the table. The aroma of roasted meat instantly filled the dining room. She picked up a large carving fork and began slicing the meat, while Dino watched her hands intently from the other side of the table.

"It looks amazing, Maja," Dino said, reaching for the bottle on the sideboard behind him. "I brought this red. I think it’ll pair well."

"Thanks, Dino. You always remember to bring something nice," she replied, keeping her eyes fixed on the meat.

She placed the first slice onto Dino’s plate, then a second onto Antonio’s, who was sitting at the head of the table. Antonio remained silent. His hands were resting in his lap, beneath the edge of the table, as he stared motionlessly at the plate in front of him.

"Antonio?" Maja called out to him. "Are you okay? You’ve been so distant all day."

Antonio slowly raised his eyes. First, he looked at her—at her clean face and her hair pulled back into a ponytail—and then he shifted his gaze to his brother sitting opposite her.

"I’m fine," he said, his voice completely flat, without a single inflection. "Just tired from work. It’s nothing."

"See, that’s your problem," Dino cut in, already chewing on his first bite. "My friend, you need to slow down. Life is passing you by, and you’re buried in those papers. Look at yourself, you’re too pale. You need to get out more, be among people."

"I will get out," Antonio replied, picking up his knife and fork. "Soon."

Maja sat down in her place, facing Dino. She poured herself some water, then reached for the wine bottle. She filled Dino’s glass halfway, then her own.

"Would you like some, Antonio?" she asked, holding the bottle over his glass.

"No, thank you. I’m sticking to water tonight."

"Your loss, you don’t know what you’re missing," Dino said, raising his glass toward his brother. "To that, man. Cheers to our health."

Antonio raised his glass of water. Glass clinked against glass, the sound echoing brief and sharp in the quiet room. He took a small sip of the cold water and set the glass back on the table, exactly where it had been before, making sure it aligned perfectly to the millimeter with the edge of his plate.

The dinner went on slowly, filled with Dino’s story about his car trouble and a mechanic who tried to rip him off for parts. Maja listened to him intently, nodding occasionally and smiling at him. Antonio chewed the tough meat in silence, watching how Maja followed Dino’s every hand gesture.

When she reached toward the middle of the table for the salad bowl, she extended her arm straight out. The space between Dino’s plate and his glass was narrow, and as she pulled the bowl back, her index finger lingered against his forearm for a second. Dino didn’t pull his arm away. Instead, he kept talking, though the rhythm of his sentence slowed down for just a brief moment—just enough to catch her touch before he finished his thought and laughed.

Antonio watched it all without blinking. He knew about them. He knew about her made-up nights out with friends, and about all those evenings when she would come home late with cheap excuses. Everything was as clear as day.

"Maja, pass me some more bread, please," Dino said.

Maja picked up the bread basket and handed it to him across the table, their fingers brushing once again. This time, they didn’t even bother to hide it from him. Dino took a slice of bread and began wiping the sauce off his plate.

"This is honestly superb," he said, leaning back in his chair with satisfaction. "Maja, you’re a wonder."

Maja blushed slightly, then stood up and carried the empty salad bowl into the kitchen. She returned, sat back down, and gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, while Dino raised his glass toward Antonio once more.

"Man, compliments to the chef for this dinner. We should do this more often."

Antonio slowly placed both hands on the table, palms down and fingers spread wide across the white tablecloth. The smile completely vanished from his face as he shifted his gaze from Dino to Maja.

"We should, but this is your last one," Antonio said.

Dino lowered his glass, the red wine swirling slightly inside it, and looked at his brother in confusion, then at Maja.

"What do you mean, last one?" he asked.

Maja stared at Antonio; her hand froze in her lap as she held the napkin. "Antonio, what are you talking about?" she asked.

Antonio didn't answer right away. He slowly reached into the pocket of his blazer, which was hanging on the back of his chair, pulled out a small black pistol, and laid it on the table, right next to his glass of water.

Maja caught her breath sharply through her teeth, while Dino went completely rigid.

"Because tonight, you are both going to die," he said. His voice was entirely calm, without any rise in tone. "You are getting exactly what you deserve."

"Antonio, please..." Maja whispered, as a first tear rolled down her cheek, but she was too paralyzed by fear to wipe it away.

"You will expose yourself as an unfaithful wife, killed by her lover because she wanted to leave him," he said coldly, then turned to Dino. "And you... You, brother, will look like a piece of trash to the whole world—the man who stole his own brother's wife, and a monster who ended up killing her. And me? I had to kill you because you attacked me right after her. I’ll be the victim who acted in self-defense."

Dino's breathing was shallow and rapid, his hands clenched into fists on the table. He looked at the gun, then into Antonio’s cold eyes.

"Antonio, you’re crazy, I..." He gathered his strength, pressed his hands against the table, and tried to lunge to his feet.

He remained half-crouched, his palms pressed hard against the edge of the table. His eyes were wide, locked onto the barrel of the gun, which was now raised to the level of his chest. Antonio’s elbow rested on the table, his hand steady and still.

"Sit back down, Dino," Antonio said.

Dino lowered himself back into his chair, slowly, inch by inch. He didn’t take his eyes off Antonio’s finger, which was resting along the trigger.

"Antonio, calm down," Dino hissed through his teeth. His voice was deep and strained. "Put that away. I’m your brother. Let’s talk."

Antonio tilted his head slightly.

"We are talking, Dino. Tonight we talk about your car, about your mechanic, about your wine. Now it’s my turn."

Maja covered her mouth with both hands. A short, muffled sound, like a sob, escaped her throat, and she tried to swallow it down. She looked at Dino, then back at the gun.

"Antonio, please..." she spoke from behind her palms. "You’ve got it wrong... it’s not what you think. Do you really believe that..."

"Don't, Maja," Antonio cut her off, without turning his head toward her. He kept his eyes on his brother. "Don’t waste words on lies that you can’t even finish. I know everything. I told you."

Dino slowly spread his hands flat on the tablecloth.

"Alright," he said, trying to keep his voice as calm as possible. "You caught us. We messed up, we're idiots, do whatever you want to me. Hit me, break me, but put the gun away, please. We can handle this like civilized men."

"Like civilized men?" Antonio repeated, a barely noticeable, cold smile appearing on his face for a split second. "You want us to handle this like civilized men? You’re sitting at my table, Dino. You’re eating my food, raising a toast to me. And what are you doing behind my back the whole time? Sleeping with my wife. Is that your idea of 'civilized'?"

Maja dropped her hands from her face. The skin around her eyes was red, and her lips were trembling. She stared at Antonio, trying to catch his eye, but his gaze remained fixed on Dino.

"Antonio, please," she said, gasping for air. "If I have to, I’ll leave. I’ll pack up tonight, I’ll go, you’ll never have to deal with me again. Just... please, put the gun down."

"You’re not going anywhere, Maja," he said in a flat voice. "I told you how things stand. Tonight, you both die."

"You can’t kill your own brother, are you insane?!" Dino suddenly raised his voice, anger briefly overtaking his fear. His shoulders tensed. "The same mother gave birth to us, we grew up together, Antonio! We're blood!"

"You're the one who forgot that," Antonio replied. "Now it's too late."

Silence fell over the dining room. Dino’s breathing was heavy and shallow. Maja stared at the gun, then at her husband, gripping the edge of the table as if she were about to collapse from her chair.

Antonio slowly shifted the barrel of the gun, pointing toward the large carving knife that lay next to the empty baking pan in the middle of the table.

"Actually... You know what, Dino..." he spoke, his voice sounding almost relaxed. "Maybe it isn't entirely too late. Maybe there is a way out for you. It all depends on how badly you truly want to live."

Dino looked toward the knife. The blade caught the reflection of the light.

"What does that mean?" he managed to say.

"Take the knife, Dino," Antonio said. He didn’t raise his voice. "Take it and cut her arm. Make a gash. Prove to me that your life matters more to you than hers, and maybe I’ll let you walk out that door alive."

Maja’s breath caught. She flinched backward, pressing her back against the spine of her chair.

"Antonio, no! Dino, don't, please!" she cried out, clutching her hands to her chest as tears streamed down her face. "Antonio, don’t do this..."

Dino didn’t look at her. His forehead was completely drenched in sweat. His fingers slowly began to move toward the middle of the table. Toward the wooden handle of the knife.

"Dino..." she pleaded, her voice a mix of a scream and disbelief. She watched his fingers close around the handle. "Dino, please, don't. You love me... you said you loved me..."

"I'm sorry, Maja," he spoke, his voice completely twisted by terror. "I have to. I want to live."

He leaned over the table. The blade passed right next to the water pitcher. Maja tried to pull her arm back, but it was useless. She had nowhere to go.

The tip of the knife touched her forearm. Dino pressed down. His hand was shaking, but he dragged a cut several centimeters long. The skin tore open, and thick, red blood instantly began to drip onto the tablecloth.

Maja let out a sharp, guttural cry. She clamped her left hand over the wound.

"It’s done," Dino gasped, breathing loudly through his nose. He dropped the knife onto the table. "I did what you asked, Antonio, now let me go."

Antonio didn’t move. He lowered his eyes to the bloodstain, then shifted his gaze back to his brother.

"That was just a scratch, Dino. That isn’t proof that you want to live. That’s proof that you are a coward."

Maja breathed rapidly, keeping her fingers pressed tight over her forearm. Blood seeped between her fingers. Through her tears, she shot Dino a look full of pure rage.

"You piece of trash!" she screamed, her voice trembling. "You sold me out in a second. You talked me into all of this, and now you’re carving me up just to save your own skin. You coward!"

"Shut up, Maja!" Dino shouted, his lower lip trembling. His face was red with fury and panic. "You came to me on your own, I didn’t force you into anything! You were the one constantly talking about how bored you were with him! Antonio, she’s lying! I just..."

"Enough," Antonio cut them off. He didn’t raise his voice, but they both went silent instantly. "I don’t care. Dino, the knife is still on the table."

Dino looked down at the wooden handle.

"Antonio, please..." he whispered, his hand now visibly shaking. "Don't. I did what you asked. Let me go."

"I told you how things stand, Dino," Antonio continued. He slowly raised the gun and aimed the barrel straight at his forehead. "Stab her again. Properly this time. In the stomach."

"Antonio, no!" Maja shrieked. She tried to get up from her chair, but her hand slipped, knocking over her wine glass. The liquid spilled across the table. "Dino, don't!"

"Dino, the clock is ticking," Antonio said, his finger on the trigger tightening slightly. "Choose. Her stomach or your head. Now."

Dino closed his eyes for a second. He let out a short, broken sob, and then pure, primal fear for his own skin completely overrode everything else. He grabbed the knife from the table once more. He stepped out from behind his chair, bypassed the corner of the table, and leaned over Maja.

"I’m sorry..." he muttered through his teeth, his voice no longer sounding human.

He lunged and drove the blade deep into her abdomen.

The knife remained buried in her blouse. Slowly, he pulled his fingers away from the handle. He took one step back. His shoes squeaked quietly on the hardwood floor.

Maja didn’t scream. She only let out a long, shallow gasp, as if she had run out of air. She slid off the chair and collapsed onto the floor.

Dino stared at his sticky palms, his body shaking uncontrollably.

"Antonio..." he managed to say. His voice was raspy, barely audible. "It’s over. Let me out."

"Brother, please..." he took another step back. "Let me go. Please."

"You’re not going anywhere, Dino," Antonio replied.

On the floor, Maja let out a low, wheezing sound. The fingers of her right hand twitched once, scratching against the hardwood floor, and then went limp. Her breathing was growing shallower.

"You’re crazy..." Dino whispered. "You’re a psychopath."

"I am," Antonio said. He slowly lowered the gun by a few centimeters, aiming straight at the center of Dino’s chest. "From the moment I found out about the two of you, I’ve been fantasizing about this night."

"What more do you want from me, Antonio?" Dino managed to bring out, his voice cracked with terror.

"Slow down, Dino, what’s the rush? Haste makes waste, and tonight, I can’t afford even the slightest mistake."

"Stop it..." Dino shouted, unable to take the pressure any longer. "I’ve had enough of your sick games."

Antonio just watched him coldly.

"Come over here and hit me."

Dino stared frantically at his brother's face, then at the barrel of the gun.

"What?" he stammered.

"Hit me," Antonio repeated. "With your fist. In the face. I want you to hit me. I know you want to."

"Antonio, are you out of your mind... I’m not going to hit you..." Dino started shaking his head side to side, looking for an exit.

Antonio raised the gun a bit higher.

"Dino, if you don’t hit me, I will shoot you in the head this very second. Choose. Hit me or die right now."

Dino’s breathing was fast and ragged. Pure fear for his life forced his fingers to curl into a tight fist. He stepped forward, swung, and struck Antonio right on the left side of his face.

The sound of the impact was sharp. Antonio’s head jerked to the right, and blood instantly began to flow from his split lip. He slowly turned his head back, straightened up, and looked at his brother again.

"That was weak, Dino," he said, wiping the blood from his lip. "Again. In the right eye. Hit me again. Now."

Dino was sobbing. He swung again, harder this time, and caught him in the right eye. The skin above Antonio’s eyebrow split open immediately.

In that instant, Antonio clenched his fist and struck back. The blow landed flush on Dino’s jaw, and then he swung once more, hitting his nose. There was a dull crunch of cartilage. Dino stumbled backward, a thick stream of blood spurting from his nose.

Antonio slowly raised the gun and aimed straight at his chest.

"Stand right there," he said, his voice flat and muffled.

Clutching his broken nose, Dino stared in terror at the barrel of the gun. He took two steps back, right into the open space between the table and the wall.

"Antonio, don't, please..." he gasped, his voice breaking.

Antonio pulled the trigger. He fired two quick shots. The first bullet missed Dino and embedded itself in the wall behind him, leaving a deep hole. The second bullet went straight through his chest.

He hit the wall with his back and slowly slid down onto the hardwood floor. His head slumped to the side, his eyes remaining wide open, staring at the leg of the table. He didn’t move again.

A dead silence fell over the dining room, and the smell of gunpowder began to spread through the space. Antonio lowered his hand, the gun hanging by his side. He looked at Dino, then at Maja.

He pulled his phone from his pants pocket and dialed emergency services.

"Help..." he spoke into the receiver, sounding distraught. "My wife... He attacked me too... I’m bleeding... Quickly, please..."

He cut the call and set the phone down on the table.

He walked over to Maja’s body and carefully removed the knife, using a napkin to avoid leaving fingerprints. To alter the scene and simulate an attack, he inflicted several wounds upon himself through his clothing, enduring the sharp pain before dropping the weapon. He then dragged himself a short distance away and knocked over a chair to complete the appearance of a violent struggle.

From outside, sirens began to wail. Blue lights started flashing across the walls and the ceiling of the room.

He stretched out on the floor and closed his eyes.

The front door burst open under the impact, and several police officers rushed into the dining room.

Antonio remained motionless as the authorities entered. The show was ready to begin.

[Part 1]

Everyone is afraid of something. Some people avoid their fears. Others learn to control them. I had my friends.

They came to me in a moment of overwhelming uncertainty. The unknown made me anxious, and in the waiting, I tortured myself with what-ifs that were more than unlikely, mere figments of my imagination. So I let my imagination take over, and I built five friends: Mister Cocoa, Mister Wuffles, Lulu, Vivi, and Itsy. Where I used to avoid my fear, I learned to control it.

I couldn’t keep a real friend to save my life, but I never had trouble keeping bullies, Danny being the worst of them. That first night, when Mister Cocoa asked what I needed, I thought of Danny, naturally. I thought about the times he’d taken my lunch money. I thought about the times he’d stolen my glasses. I thought about the beatings. I thought about how he’d taken my name from me. I was a quiet kid, so Mouse stuck. Even some of the teachers, I’m sure thinking it a cute nickname, joined in on the teasing. So when it hurt, I thought about his fears. Everyone is afraid of something, and Danny was afraid of dogs.

I knew the story behind it the way any child learns an urban legend: on the playground. When Danny was in kindergarten, he walked to the bus stop with his older brother, Daryl. About a hundred yards from their house, they came upon a dilapidated trailer that belonged to an even more decrepit old man. Mr. Thibodaux was semi-retired and bred guard dogs for a living. He was a grouch who, instead of giving candy to kids, found it fun to hurl insults and keep every ball that flew over his fence. He got his kicks walking his beloved beasts and letting them yank their leashes taut inches from terrified children.

One morning, Daryl thought it would be funny to run ahead as they passed Mr. Thibodaux’s fence. That left little Danny petrified in front of a row of foaming, snarling pit bulls, each tied to a stake with frayed rope. Daryl called back, laughing, that Danny had better hurry up before Thibodaux’s dogs got him. He barely finished the sentence before one of the pit bulls yanked its stake out of the ground, crawled through a shallow trench under the fence, and went after Danny.

Danny took off running. Daryl dropped a few obscenities, realizing he’d just dropped the ball on being the protective older brother. Danny turned around, tripped on his shoelaces, and before his feet could slap the pavement, his face did. The dog ran over and latched onto his ankle. Daryl, panicking, ran back and kicked it as hard as he could to free his brother from its grip. The bus rounded the corner just then, and a busload of impressionable children watched the whole thing. By lunchtime, it had solidified into playground legend.

From that point on, Danny was deathly afraid of dogs. His father had been leaving for work when he spotted his sons on the concrete, one of them bleeding badly. Without turning off his car, he asked what happened, and before he’d gathered all the details, he stormed over to Mr. Thibodaux’s door and pounded on it with fatherly fury. The old man answered with an expression that said he was ready to scold, and Danny’s dad clocked him in the face, dragged his bleeding son into the car, and drove to the hospital. It took eight stitches to close the wound.

The rumor was that the rabies set into Danny’s brain that day and turned him into the vile child I knew. I know now that if it were true, he never would have survived. Maybe bullying was how Danny took control of his fear, but he always avoided the straight way to the bus stop across Mr. Thibodaux’s yard. Instead, Danny always came from the side.

After the chaos of that day, Mr. Thibodaux got even by pressing assault charges against Danny’s father. That sent him down a dirty rabbit hole of alcoholism, and one day, Danny’s mother had enough. With a black eye and bruises, she kicked her husband out of the house. Some say he moved away to work in the plants between here and Texas. All I know is that I never met him, but Danny idolized him. He was one of those fathers who tried to win back his family’s love with love-bombing gifts, the most recent being the Nintendo 64 and electric scooter Danny got for his birthday.

Danny was twelve years old and still in the fifth grade. When he wasn’t hassling kids for money, he could often be seen collecting cigarette butts at the Circle-K down the road. Whatever happened to him that day changed his life for the worse. A boy his brother once described as timid, even shy, had become a pre-teen who reeked of death and defiance.

I was afraid of Danny. Danny was afraid of dogs. And dogs were the beasts that lorded over the wild. That is, until they became man’s best friend. For when we conquered fear, we conquered the wilderness.

The next morning, I must have counted my money over seven times as I waited for Danny to arrive. He’d promised things would get worse if I came up short. As the minutes passed, I felt certain he would turn up any moment. Like a sprinkler, I turned and scanned the yard, waiting for him to come running down the side streets of our neighborhood. My world was growing gray as the dread of the inevitable set in. But before my heart could leap into my throat, I heard the squeal of brakes. The bright yellow school bus, my chariot to safety, had arrived, and Danny hadn’t. I couldn’t believe my luck.

I smiled and kicked my legs in joy as the bus rolled under the awning at my elementary school. For the first time in months, I made it to class with my money and my face intact.

That morning, peace reverberated through the school halls, as my fellow classmates were spared, too. At recess, I learned that Danny hadn’t made it to school at all. Already, rumors had begun to spread. People said he must be home sick playing GoldenEye 007, or maybe he was playing hooky, smoking cigarettes in the woods. But part of me wondered what the truth really was.

I wish I had never found out. Even though I’d felt better that day than I had in ages, the guilt and shame I came to carry proved too much for me. When I got home from school, I found Mister Wuffles lying on my bed, pawing at his mouth as if to wipe away a mess.

“How was school? Were you safe?” he asked, his deep golden eyes playful.

I nodded and smiled uneasily, because it looked like Mister Wuffles had been eating raw pork, which I cared little for.

“Danny was absent,” I said, matter-of-fact.

“Of course!” sang Vivi. She dangled from my ceiling fan, coiled like a spring, with a swollen middle and a small lump resting in her gut. “Did anything hurt you?” she asked.

Lulu and Itsy crawled out of my closet, curious about Vivi’s question, and as they shut the door behind them, I thought I saw something I wasn’t supposed to.

“Not today,” I said. I couldn’t explain why at the time, but I had a feeling that something was going terribly wrong.

“We brought you something!” said Itsy. “Open the closet. It’s for you.” The silky friend smiled a tiny smile, revealing two fangs I hadn’t noticed the night before.

“I don’t like the closet. It’s dark and scary.” I quivered.

“There’s nothing to be afraid of!” begged Lulu. “Here, I’ll light it up for you.” The rainbows from her lamp shot out across my floor, and as I walked toward the closet, my feet stuck and peeled free with every step.

“Why is the floor so sticky?” I asked.

Mister Cocoa began to laugh, a deep and unnerving laugh. “I spilled my lunch, is all.” The smile spread thin across his face. “Go on now, check out the gift we got you.”

I grabbed the doorknob as they all waited in anticipation. I turned it and pulled with all my might, afraid of what I might see. As the door swung open, something fell out onto the floor with a loud thud. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

It was an electric scooter.

IN TWO PARTS

PART ONE

Two dragons are captured and sent into orbit round the Earth.A little-known story about the 1960s space race, which has been kept secret because of the terrible consequences, still extant today.

Chapter One

1957

Somewhere faraway, well, from the West anyway, there is an island called Dragonscale.

The inhabitants of this paradise in the East (somewhere) were not humans at first, but, as the name suggests without a great deal of thought, a race of dragons, called the Firelizards.

It is commonly assumed that there aren’t any real dragons. Of course, they might have existed in a bygone era and become extinct, some might say, and the absence of any fossil evidence is not a conclusive proof that they didn’t, fossilisation being a rare occurrence.

It could, then, be speculated that it might be possible that there were such animals inhabiting this planet many eras ago, and following from that it is not a huge leap forward to consider that there might be a very isolated island where a race of such beasts survived and evolved.

In fact, contrary to widely accepted beliefs, the Firelizards were a known reality, and it was their isolation that kept them from wider knowledge of their existence.

There were reports as far back as the first Millennium about an island in the far East occupied by 'firedevils', as they were called. No attempt to visit the island was made on account of the expected dangers involved, however.

Now, the usual image of dragons is not a favourable one, involving belching huge bursts of flame, enough to outdo any flame throwing weapon devised for military purposes.

The Firelizards did not fit this description at all.

They were a happy peace-loving race which lived by a strict code of conduct, according to accounts from the few humans who visited the Island, as to be related later in this Chapter.

This could be summarised as follows:

1. Love your fellow dragon.
2. Behave towards your neighbouring dragon in a manner which you would wish them to act towards you.
3. Honour your mum and dad.
4. Only use your flame throwing abilities for peaceful purposes, and never in a way which could result in harm or distress to anything else, of whatever kind. It was explained that the flame-producing ability was given to them to enable them to set a pile of wood and sticks on fire to keep them warm in cold weather.

This was, therefore, a happy community, but there was a problem. There wasn't a lot to do on the island.

The most exciting event, which took place bi-annually, was the flame throwing competition, open to all comers.

The contestants were required to stand (front feet) a given distance from its target, which was of standard size and made of a suitably combustible material, and set it ablaze. Times were recorded for the target to be reduced to a pile of ashes. Points were also awarded for style of flame delivery, shape and width of flame cone.

This was just round One. The ten with the highest points then progressed to Round Two. The distance from the target was increased and the target made less combustible. The best five then went on to Round Three. After further changes in distance and constitution of target, we were left with the two finalists, and the winner received great acclaim.

Unfortunately, in the mid-1950s a passenger plane happened to pass over the island whilst this contest was in full swing, and even from its considerable height the flames were clearly visible and impressive. This was a significant contribution to the conviction amongst humans that these were dangerous animals.

There was also a sports day, the highlight of which was the Great Dragon Race. Details here are not outlined as the title is self-explanatory. The clear blue sea was also always an attraction, and the Firelizards were adept underwater swimmers.

Sadly, these diversions were not enough to satisfy the adventurous spirit of some of the younger dragons, and excursions to the mainland were not uncommon.

Here, of course, they encountered humans, who had rarely ventured onto Dragonscale, and those that did never came back. The visitors went with the intention of acquiring a nice dragon rug for their lounge, but in fact they had all decided to stay in this peaceful environment, and were happily tolerated by the Firelizards. On the mainland, though, the worst was assumed.

The incursion of these younger members of the race onto the mainland was a different matter. They never did any harm, abiding strictly to the rigid code of conduct deeply instilled into their psyche.

Unfortunately, the very sight of them scared the shit out of the locals, especially the very young, and the dragons were not treated kindly. Let us just say that none ever returned to their homeland, and dragon meat was not a rarity at the market stalls.

On the other hand, the younger generation on Dragonscale deduced that the immigrants were all having a fine time, and that this was the explanation for their continued absence, and so still they ventured into the unknown, in increasing numbers.

Over the years, plans for invasion were often raised, but it was not until the invention of protective fireproof clothing that such plans were to come to fruition.

In 1947, action to stop this inflow was deemed to be necessary, and a committee comprising 10 respected elders was formed to decide on the best policy.

That this took 10 years to publish its findings is perhaps not too surprising in view of the regular need to replace members who had died, or suffered from some debilitating illness. The new intake often had different viewpoints from their predecessors, and so it was one step forward and two back. Nevertheless, despite these major obstacles, a report was issued in mid-1957. Its recommendation can be condensed into one word:

Invade and Exterminate.

Sorry, that’s three.

Invasion

The absence of any signs of flame throwing activity by the immigrants on the mainland before being led to the slaughterhouses had not apparently been registered to any degree by the human inhabitants, because the army assembled for the task was fully equipped with the appropriate protective fire proof clothing.

As soon as they landed they set to work with their dart guns (their meat always tasted better when fresh), and the dragons dragged onto the ships. Some tried to flee but were easily outpaced by the military jeeps taken with them for just such an eventuality.

A few firelizards are thought to have fought back and overcome their peaceful natures and the surprise of the attack, but if any casualties were suffered by the invaders, details have not been released.

What about the few humans on the island? Well, they decided not to intervene, partly through cowardice, the army being armed with more lethal weapons than the darts, but also because of the thought that they would now have the island to themselves. A brief consideration would have sufficed to tell them that that wouldn’t be for long.

It is, though, to these human inhabitants of the island that we owe our knowledge of the dragon's life style, as outlined above. The description of the races and competitions seem authentic enough, but their assessment of the moral code of behaviour may be thought to be taking things too far, although these conclusions were the result of close observation of the animals over an extended period.

The existence of such a code of behaviour may or may not be valid, then, but there was no doubt in the minds of the human observers that this was a well-ordered society and with a complex form of communication.

It is sad to report that efforts by these human occupants of Dragonscale to stop the carnage, if there were indeed any made, fell on deaf ears. This would have unfortunate consequences.

The setting now moves to the other side of the globe.

Nasa

On the 3rd of November, 1957, the Soviet Union launched a space craft called Sputnik 2 (it being the second of its kind to be built, presumably). The important thing here is that it managed a low orbit around the earth, and inside it was a dog called Laika, who died a few hours into the flight. This nevertheless sent shock waves throughout America, and led the following year to the combining of the various related agencies in the U.S.A., and Nasa was formed.

The first meeting of the new organisation soon took place and a main item on the agenda was which animal could they stick in a craft and orbit the earth and outdo the Soviets.

There were three main criteria.

1. It had to be BIGGER, a LOT bigger.
2. It had to be something which the American public would find acceptable, so, for example a bigger dog wasn’t an option.
3. It had to be returned to earth alive.

There was much head scratching, many proposals were put forward and rejected, and a gloomy silence was enveloping the room.

Then a young engineer spoke up.

"Have you read that news item about a race of dragons on some isolated island in the far east? Well, they have invaded it and captured the lot. They are destined for the dinner table, it seems, but they may not have eaten them all yet, and there might still be some awaiting their fate. If so, we could make them an offer and get them over here, and dragons in space would make good publicity and show the Soviets what’s what."

"You ARE talking about living dragons, I assume? I don’t think sending a dragon carcass into space would set the pulse racing."

"Yes, of course. They like their dragon meat fresh, so they are kept alive until their turn comes, at least as far as I understand it from the news clips I have seen."

"Right," said the Chairman, "get in touch with these people and find out if there are any living dragons left."

The difficulties in achieving contact having been overcome, it was discovered that there were just two left still alive. Having agreed on an exorbitant price, these last two Firelizards found themselves on a ship and heading for the U.S.A.

Firelizards hadn’t bothered to give themselves names, as they thought that this would be too pretentious, so their captors had to decide what to call them.

Again, outdoing the Soviets was a major concern. They were accordingly christened Lincoln and Roosevelt.

Nobody had as yet considered how they were going to fit a dragon, let alone two, into the available space crafts.

Chapter Two

The Ship

The two Firelizards were kept under heavy sedation during the long sea voyage, and so had no concept of where they were going, why they had not suffered yet the same fate as their fellow dragons, of which they were well aware, or what lay in store for them when they reached their destination, wherever that might be.

The crew having been warned by the mainland locals that they were dealing with very dangerous animals which could burn down their ship with one blast of fire, the sedation of the two dragons was not considered sufficient guard against this eventuality.

The technology by which the dragon produced its flames being a bit of a grey area, it was decided to cover their faces with fireproof masks. They wanted to keep them alive, though, so you will be pleased to learn that a few holes had been inserted.

The hold where the two former U. S. presidents’ namesakes were contained was lined with layers of fire proofing materials. Should one of them regain consciousness long enough to let forth its stream of fire, a further safeguard had been installed. The slightest wisp of smoke now automatically set forth a very efficient sprinkler system.

Although they were firmly locked inside their prison, it was further deemed necessary to have a guard armed to the proverbial teeth standing outside at the ready, 24/7.

You will not be surprised to learn that Lincoln and Roosevelt were in a pretty sorry and confused state when the ship finally arrived at Houston, Texas.

This would have been an appropriate point, perhaps, to instal a photo of a Firelizard to help the reader to visualise the scene.

In fact, although there was no shortage of media footage initially, these were legally banned after the ensuing events, to be related later, with draconian measures resulting from any violation. There may be some copies of film stored in an attic somewhere, and if anybody does have access to any images of Lincoln and Roosevelt (not the Presidents) please do send them, and they could be inserted here, the restrictions having been lifted in 2016.

Conference

Back at Nasa, a further conference was in progress, preceding many others which were to take place at different centres before launch.

The first and vital consideration was size of the animals c.f. size of capsule needed to accommodate them. The typical American space capsule at that time was about 11 feet tall and about 6 to 7 feet diameter. The dragons were of a smaller variety, being 7 feet in length.

"It’s going to be a bit of a squash squeezing the two inside," remarked the chairman, "considering that we have to leave room for all the electronics," he added.

"Why do we need to send both, anyway?" demanded the director of publicity.

"We think providing them with company would help considerably in avoiding any adverse psychological effects of the extended isolation in such a confined space, and also it doubles the chances of bringing one back to earth alive," replied the chairman.

"As far as fitting two into the capsule is concerned, I’ve been looking into this," the mission director told the assembly. "They will have to curl up a bit, but they should be reasonably comfortable."

"I must point out a few things," announced the director of animal welfare. "Firstly, and most obviously, we need to bring them back alive and in good condition. Two dead dragons in the recovered capsule won’t do our image any good, and the Soviets would be laughing their socks off. The best way to achieve this, in my humble opinion (she was a very modest lady) is to try to make them as happy as possible when they set off. They will, of course, need extensive pre-flight training to adapt to space conditions. They will need to get used to confinement in a small space like the capsule, trained to know how to accept the food provided, and acclimatised to gravity changes using a spinning centrifuge. At the moment, they must be desperately unhappy in their fireproof cages. If we don’t give them some more pleasant environment until the launch, and especially some adequate level of exercise, I wouldn’t bet on their survival till next week, let alone the launch date."

"We could build an enclosure with fireproof breeze blocks," suggested the chairman.

Which they did.

When completed, the dragons were led to this newly built enclosure, which had a concrete floor, and armed guards on patrol, wearing the usual protective clothing.

The effect on the well-being of the proposed future astronauts was precisely zero. The allocated space was barely enough to enable them to stretch their legs, and they both remembered the similarly clad and armed humans who had invaded their island paradise. The response was therefore not at all as had been hoped. Lincoln and Roosevelt just lay on the concrete, hardly moving, and just giving the occasional growl.

Dr. Annie Walker, the above-mentioned animal welfare director, was discussing this problem with the chairman, Mr. Arnold Webber and mission leader, Dr. William. J. Pyke.

"This just isn’t working," she exclaimed. "We need to provide more space for them, and I have been observing them closely, and interviewed all the guards on watch, and it is agreed that not once has either attempted to use their flame throwing ability to burn down the walls and escape."

"Well, that wouldn’t have achieved much anyway," remarked William.

"They wouldn’t know that," pointed out Annie. "I'm beginning to wonder just how dangerous these animals are. I also have an idea that they would be far happier if they had grass under their feet, say a large field, for example. Oh, and another thing, Roosevelt is female. I find it hard to believe that nobody noticed, although it must be admitted it isn’t all that obvious, if you see what I mean."

"I think that would be very risky," opined Arnold. "Suppose they escaped and created havoc, it would be a disaster, not just for this mission. It could put all our future ones in jeopardy. As for the name, what do you suggest we call him, sorry, her, then? Hilary?"

"I think we should leave things as they stand, they have shown reaction to their names, and I don’t think that Roosevelt will be offended. I don’t think either that escaping should be a worry, we could still have an extensive guard patrol, kept out of sight, and with orders to shoot to kill if necessary."

The three having reached agreement, an isolated field of considerable size was located and deemed ideal for the job.

Chapter Three

Training

Linc and Ros, now the commonly used truncated handle for the two dragons, were immediately much happier to be shown their new surroundings. Instead of their more or less motionless existence in the previous concreted enclosure, they now had grass, and most importantly, much more room. This enabled them to indulge in their favourite pastime, which was dragon racing, even if there was a rather limited supply of competitors. The guards were hidden well back out of sight, but humans often make the mistake of assuming that out of their sight automatically ensures that anything else would also be unable to see them, and Linc and Ros were well aware of their presence, their sense of smell having no problems in their detection and position.

The biggest problem with the training was the food. They had no idea as to their usual menu, and so it was a hit and miss affair. Eventually a gelatinous concoction was formulated which they both seemed to find acceptable, and which was thought to contain all the necessary ingredients to keep them healthy. They then had to be trained to use the feeding tubes which would be the source on the capsule. This presented further problems, it being very hard to explain to two reluctant Firelizards why they had to feed in this way, and why they had to shove the stuff provided down their throats in the first place.

The subjection to close quarter confinements for increasing times also caused adverse reactions in the pair, taking in the form that a human might refer to as sulking. After a while, they appeared to accept the ordeal without too much protest.

Perhaps surprisingly, the dragons found the Johnsville centrifuge terrific fun, and were often reluctant to get out.

One incident caused some considerable adjustment to the general attitude of their captors to the two trainees. Although the surrounding hedges had been lined with barbed wire to prevent access of other animals, inevitably, perhaps, a stray dog (not Laika) found its way through, and immediately issued a barrage of powerful barks, which left no doubt as to its disapproval of the occupants of the field. Consternation followed at the prospect of a charred pet or ashes thereof, and guards rushed in to prevent such a disaster, but were then amazed to find the dog happily romping around with the dragons, who made no attempt to deter the dog with a burst of flame or by any other means.

It was time for another conference. This involved the heads of every conceivable aspect concerning the mission, and each was asked to report in turn, giving their appraisal of the current status of their particular task force.

The electronics had been tested over and over again, and back-up systems installed. The food dispenser device was in full working order, and the animals were thought to be as ready as they ever would be. This reporting of confident readiness was only spoiled by the temperature control system for the capsule interior, which had a few glitches to be ironed out.

"That is a critical matter,” declared the chairman. “One of the big factors on putting one over the Soviets is to bring these animals back alive. We need maximum effort here, and I am now committing us to a launch date of March the 26th. Can you assure me that your problems with the heat control will be solved by then, with full confidence?"

"Yes, sir, that we can."

"March the 26th it is, then."

Launch

The launching site being Cape Canaveral, the astronauts now faced a tedious 1,000-mile trip to Florida, not something to put them in a good frame of mind, although they had three days to recoup prior to the launch.

The launch itself was unexceptional, running as smoothly as one could wish. The actual launch produced the expected awed reaction from the numerous onlookers who had travelled to see the spectacle, but what they really wanted was a glimpse of the two dragons. Nasa being well aware of the need for this publicity, Ros and Linc were led docilely in full view of the spectators and media, including live television. Their appearance certainly aroused some reaction from the crowds, and the ascent of the lizards into the capsule was accompanied by a storm of clapping and cheering.

This happy mood was not shared by Linc and Ros, who were beginning to think that they had been subjected to a rather dirty trick.

It should be explained that this journey towards the capsule had been rehearsed several times over the last two days, in secret, of course. The dragons had been led across the tarmac and strapped down in the capsule, left for a few minutes, then released and taken back to their enclosure.

The success of this strategy was confirmed by Ros’ and Linc’s unresisting procession towards the capsule, and the strapping down inside it, it having being hoped that they would assume that this would just be another exercise like the previous, and that they would expect release after a short time.

The launch itself having been successful, the mission controllers breathed a sigh of relief, and there were congratulations all round concerning the extensive coverage and interest in the media.

Chapter Four

Communications

As far as is known, and who knows how far that it is, the human race is the only species with the ability to communicate by what we call speech, although this is being rapidly superseded by the use of the thumbs.

Nevertheless, it is evident that other species do so by various means. Even plants and trees communicate by sending chemicals through the air, as a warning to their neighbours of the presence of a leaf-eating visitor, for example. The adjacent trees can then produce a deterrent chemical in defence. This is a fascinating subject and it is necessary to delve into it in more detail as it has bearing on the story to come.

Think of the wood-pigeon, not everyone's favourite bird, it must be confessed, but it has interest. Consider the implications of their monotonous 4-note cooing. Some places might be lucky enough to enjoy wood-pigeons which have calls stretching to 5, or even more notes, perhaps.

Now, on first consideration, you might conclude that these 4 notes are just to inform another pigeon or pigeons where they are. So, their conversation could be transcribed thus:

"Morning, I’m over here."

"Well, I’M over here."

Another pigeon: "Can I join you?"

"I’m over here now."

"I’ll call you later, then."

Yet another pigeon: "I’m here and I’m not going anywhere."

On the other hand, a careful listen reveals some subtle variations in pitch, exact length of notes, volume differences, and so on. Their conversation might then stretch to the following:

"Keep a watch out, there’s a sparrow hawk around. Poor Billie is now just a ring of feathers on the lawn. What are your plans for today?"

Well, perhaps that’s stretching things a bit.

More seriously, there are certainly other species with complex communication systems, such as the Orcas, for example.

We now turn to the Firelizards.

At the time of the space adventure, it had already been noticed that they could produce a wide range of sounds, some resembling a high pitch whistle even, others a deep growl. It had also been observed that Linc and Ros did seem to be ‘talking’ to each other using these different tones. No success resulted from attempts to try to interpret them, however.

Now, it so happens that in order to help monitor the health and condition of our unwilling astronauts, a sound system was installed in the capsule, and a recording of every sound issuing from Linc and Ros during the orbit was made. In view of later events, like the other media restrictions, these tapes were not made public, and gathered dust in the Nasa archives, where they were discovered in 2024.

In view of the advances in computer technology over the past 70 years, it was decided to attempt an analysis of the various noises in the capsule on these tapes, in the hope that some idea of the meaning of the 'conversations might result.

The conclusions that it reached have just been published, and the astonishment they have induced everywhere can be well understood, because the computers produced what amounts to a transcript of the sounds of the dragons converted into the English language. Translations into other languages are available on request and filling in the necessary forms.

It was even possible to distinguish the individual dragon ‘speaking’, because of the somewhat higher pitch of Ros’ noises, the position in the capsule enabling identification of ‘speaker’ from the direction as picked up by the microphone array, and often by the simple deductions made from the conversation content. It should also be pointed out here that many days of the orbit were without any ‘conversation’ at all.

Reproduced below is the exact transcript.

Day 1, just after launch:

Linc: "++++ this for a game of soldiers."

The actual translation here might be deemed to be too unseemly to publish on the hallowed pages of Reddit, so it has been left to the reader to insert a word of their choice at the start of this utterance.

Ros: "I don’t mind a joke, but ++++ a pantomime. I think we’ve been had. All those trips over the last two days back and forth to the capsule, and locking us inside for a few minutes, that was just to make sure that we thought this was just the same, but I did wonder about all the crowds cheering their heads off, and thought that there was something fishy going on."

Linc: "You weren’t wrong there."

Again, it has been left to the reader to fill in the blanks.

Day 2: No translatable conversation.

Day 3

Linc: "I’m getting a bit pissed off, just lying here."

Ros: "Tell me about it, I have an itchy tail and I can’t scratch it, they’ve got us tied down so that we can hardly move, and the smell in this thing is starting to get a bit iffy, are you pulling the disposal lever when you’ve had to go?"

Linc: "Disposal lever?"

Ros: "Oh, my God, you mean we’ve been out here for three days and you haven’t used it once? No wonder the air here could hardly be described as rose-like."

Again, it must be stressed that these are the exact words of the computer analysis.

Linc: "Oh, you mean this stick thing by my foot, I’ll give it a shove--"

Ros: "No, no, don’t touch that…."

At this point, the instrumental records coincide with this unfinished sentence from Ros by the indication of a violent rotation and shaking of the capsule, lasting a full 35 seconds.

Linc: "Not that one, then?"

Ros: "Bloody hell, it isn’t enough that they lock me up in this thing and treat me like ++++, but I have to put up with a blithering idiot for company. Have you forgotten everything you were taught in those lessons we had to attend where they showed us what was what?"

Linc: "I’m sorry, I must have fallen asleep at that bit. He did have an incredibly boring voice, all on one monotonous tone, even less melodious than a wood-pigeon, and that’s saying something. Which lever do I have to pull, then?"

Ros, with a sigh: "By your front foot, you can’t mistake it, it is painted bright red and has an icon by it indicating ‘flush’."

Linc: "Ah, yes, I see it, I thought it meant eject in an emergency."

Ros: "Well, you could say that given the stink in here. Now, can you please give it a push?"

Linc does as she asks apparently, because the noise recorded here is compatible with the exit of three day’s waste disposal from a Firelizard.

Ros: "Well, that should at least make it slightly more bearable in here, and if you thought it was an ejection lever for us in an emergency, what good did you think it would have done us to be thrown into space and probably go into orbit ourselves? We wouldn’t last long out there, where there is a distinct shortage of grass, I’d say."

Linc seems to have gone into a sulk then, as no more exchanges were decoded that day.

Indeed, this show of petulance seems to have lasted until day six, the intervening three days picking up not the slightest hint of any further chit-chat.

Day 6

Linc breaks his silence.

"How much longer are we going to have to stay in this thing? Are they going to leave us here forever?"

Ros: "I have no idea, but I can’t see the point in sending us orbiting the earth for eternity, they must want to bring us back down at some point."

Linc: "I’ll probably be dead by then, my back is killing me and my pulse rate is through the roof."

Ros: "That goes for me, too. It is quite nice, though, looking through the window they kindly provided for us to be able to view the cosmos."

Linc: "I agree, that blue round thing is quite pretty."

Ros: "That’s the earth, dumbo. It’s where we came from. In fact, next time you see it, look out for a big blue patch with a tiny oval-shaped spot on it. That’s Dragonscale."

Linc: "Really! You mean we were down there and now we are way up here?"

Ros: "Got it in one."

Chapter Five

More meetings

Meanwhile back at Houston, progress was being assessed. Arnold, William and Annie were in deep conference.

"How’s it going, then," asked Arnold.

"Very well, so far," replied William, "although we were starting to get concerned after three days when the instruments gave no indication that Linc had pulled his lever to eject his outputs."

"You mean piss and shit, then?" offered Annie.

"Well, I was just being polite in the presence of a lady. Anyway, it seems that he did so and hopefully the prospect of a capsule filled to the brim with noxious fumes seems to have been avoided, although there was a moment of panic when he seems to have given the capsule rotation lever a hefty kick."

"I find that a bit worrying. Didn’t we show them in the lessons we gave them which lever to pull?" asked the chairman.

"We did, indeed, but it has to be admitted that Dr. Bishop has a rather boring speech delivery, enough to put even the most alert of dragons into a deep sleep," Annie responded.

"Let’s hope that Linc remembers to exit his waste from now on. How about the general health of the dragons?" asked Arnold.

"Their medical condition as indicated by the electronics attached at various points along their bodies seems to be holding up well to the stress. There is a slight worry over pulse rates, though, as both dragons show a consistent and significant increase there," William stated.

"Is it thought that this might be life-threatening, then? We must avoid at all costs having two dragon corpses in the capsule when we fish it out of the sea."

"We just don’t know," replied Annie, "we have no idea as to what point an elevated pulse rate in a dragon should be the signal to bring out the red flag."

"You mean we don’t know when we should get worried, then?" Arnold sarcastically remarked.

"There is one very interesting aspect emerging from the microphone outputs," said Annie. "It is hard given the alternation of the noises from one to the other to avoid the conclusion that they are engaging in conversation of some sort. If so, we have no idea as to what they are communicating, of course. I think we made the correct decision about the absence of fire-retardant face masks. They are intelligent enough, I think, to know that if they set the capsule ablaze they would be in deep shit," she concluded.

"I take it that that there are no problems as far as the capsule and instrumentation are concerned?" demanded Arnold.

"No, none at all, so far we could not have wished for a smoother mission," William re-assured him.

Silence

Day 7: No identifiable interchanges or remarks from either dragon.

Day 8: No identifiable interchanges or remarks from either dragon. Annie was now starting to get a bit worried about her pets.

"We have heard no trace of any kind of sounds from either Linc or Ros for three days now. I am starting to get a bit concerned," she remarked to Arnold.

This is of course not at the same meeting as the one described above, as we are now in day 9.

"The instruments all indicate no cause for concern and their pulse rate has dropped a bit as well," William informed them.

"I am mainly concerned about the psychological aspects of the mission, and how it might effect their behaviour after recovery," exclaimed Annie.

"What ARE we going to do with them, anyway? Perhaps we should give that some thought, don’t you think?" the chairman considered.

"I assumed that we were just going to do away with them, humanely, of course," William thought.

"That would cause outrage, the American public wouldn’t like that at all, I don’t think." declared Arnold. "How about a zoo, there might be some interest there. Annie, can you make some enquiries about that possibility, please?"

"Yes, of course, Arnold, that seems like a good idea," replied Annie.

Day 10

Firelizard deductions

Things suddenly start to liven up inside the capsule.

Linc starts things off, exclaiming suddenly, "Why are they doing this, that’s what I’d like to know, I mean, if I knew what the object of sending us in orbit around the earth was, then it would make it easier to bear the discomfort, and this gelatinous stuff they feed us is not doing my insides any good, either."

Ros: "Well, make sure you keep on pushing that lever, as you say, it’s hard enough to bear all this as it is. I keep on thinking of that day they invaded, with those weapons that sent us all to sleep in seconds, and then they took us to the mainland and killed us all off."

Linc: "I’ve been thinking about that, too. The thing that I can’t understand is why they killed us off in batches, and kept you alive until your turn came. Why didn’t they just kill us all straight away?"

Ros: "I think I know the answer to that one, but I don’t think I should tell you, you won’t like it."

Linc: "Oh, come on, I’d really like to know, I have been trying to figure it out for the last two days, and it’s driving me crazy."

Ros: "Well, O. K., but you really aren’t going to like it, so promise me that you will keep calm. If you get into one of your tantrums you might shake this thing into pieces. That might not be a bad idea, on second thoughts.

Anyway, if you must know, and remember that this is just my interpretation, there might be a different explanation altogether--"

Linc: "Oh, for heaven’s sake, get on with it and tell me the worst. I can take it."

Ros: "All right, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. The reason that they kept us alive until they killed us off was that they like their dragon meat to be fresh before cooking."

Linc: "You mean, YOU MEAN!!!, THEY EAT US!!!"

Ros: "Steady, keep calm, getting wound up won’t help things at all."

Day 11

Linc has calmed down, a bit. He puts a question to Ros about another matter which has been causing him sleepless nights.

"Have you any ideas as to the reasons why we have been sent spinning round the earth?"

Ros did.

"I have come up with one possible explanation. I stress, it is only a pretty wild theory, and I find it hard to believe it myself, but I noticed that they were putting humans into those spinning things down there, and my idea derives from that, as it might fit in with the existence of a project of which the objective is to land a human on the moon."

Linc: "Why on earth would they want to do THAT?"

Ros: "A very good question. Because it’s there, I suppose."

Linc: "That seems a bit unlikely that they would go to all this trouble just to land on the moon. What use would that be?"

Ros: “They might eventually develop weapons which could travel from the moon to the earth and destroy your enemies.”

Linc: "Well, I could believe that bit, quite easily, but I still don’t see why they have used us on this trip."

Ros: "I think this is just a part of the programme building up to the moon landing. As to why they needed to shove US in this space from hell I have no idea."

Part V

 

I left everything on the island and snatched the scarf before
heading for the door. Thoughts ran rampant through my mind as I drove.

My phone rang before I’d left my subdivision. I glanced at the
number and knew this was no good. It was a Colorado area code. Where my
company’s headquarters was. We didn’t have a local HR.

It could have been the executive leadership team but I rarely got
called by any of them. My mind returned to yesterday’s meeting and my lack of
being there. For a moment, I felt like I was in free fall. My personal and
professional lives intertwining in disaster. In moments, I could have nothing.
My wife could already be halfway out the door and this was it slamming behind
her.

I didn’t answer. 

It rang until it went to voicemail. I just couldn’t handle
whatever it was they were about to say.

I was still going the same way, but my final destination had
changed. If my life was going down the drain, there was a scarf that needed to
be wrapped around a certain neck that I wanted to grab on my way.

I parked in the lot and headed away from my building. I glanced at
my watch. Had I just surrendered to my fate and gone in, I would have been ten
minutes early.

I entered his building and headed for the elevator. I had no real
plan, just a ball of self-destruction waiting to explode in someone else’s
direction.

I’d been manipulated, molded into this insecure thing and I meant
to share my pain. I shouted down the rational part of me that pondered what I’d
do if my wife were on the business end of my ire. Rationality would have
required examining what I was doing. 

I didn’t want to think. Thinking wasn’t revenge. Thinking wasn’t
balancing the scales. Thinking was what had gotten me to this moment.

The elevator dinged and I stepped off. There was still plenty of
construction going on. A high-pitched drill zipped somewhere around
the corner. I could hear voices that sounded like they were coming out of the
floor but not close enough to understand them.

This was my first time being here during business hours and all
the construction noise was unsettling. I felt like the floor was going to break
underneath me and I’d plummet all the way to the first floor.

Constant hammer strikes echoed from somewhere near. A man hollered
like he was calling out to someone. A machine I didn’t recognize buzzed and I
felt it all the way up into my shins.

I rounded the corner and spotted his door at the end of the hall.
The construction noises coalesced into a sonic hand, shoving me down the hall.
I stopped in front of the door. It looked properly seated in the frame, the
threshold painted a classy-looking black and gold. The knob had been replaced
with an antique-looking one.

I grasped it and turned. The door swung open easily and I stepped
in a completely finished space. The walls had been painted a shade of mint with
cream crown moulding at the top and a darker shade of wainscoting at the
bottom. To my left was a dark couch so fluffy I don’t think I would have had
the will to get out of it if I sat down. There was a small glass end table with
gold legs with a small stack of magazines on it.

The reception desk had been here the last time I’d come and it
looked more completed now, but I couldn’t tell what had been changed. There was
a large square sheet of white paper on the front of it that I at first thought
was blank, but when I took a couple steps closer, saw a hand drawing of what
looked like a logo.

It looked classy in here. Save for the sheet of paper, it seemed
pretty much done. A wall had been erected near the back where the tape had been
mapping out the space. He was planning to stick around.

My shock from how good it looked in here faded and my rage
resurfaced. I had his scarf clutched in hand and I dug in my pocket for my
wallet and fished out three twenties.

“I’ve got my payment right here,” I said. “And your scarf!” I
shook it in the air.

In my rage very little thought had come into mind. I had no real
expectation he was actually here even though I wanted to lay my hands on him.
The part of actually meeting him wasn’t a real concept. I hadn't thought about
that.

So when he answered, “Come on back?” it chilled me.

I realized how much of a doe I was. How much this space was like a
cave. I’d naively walked in here and hadn’t bothered telling anyone where I was
going. There was an expression for this, but it wasn’t coming to my panicked
brain, shifted into a gear meant only for survival.

I took a step back. Into
him.

“Oh,” I said. He poked me in the neck. I slapped a hand in that
spot like a mosquito had bitten me, turning and backing away from him. I fell
to my knees, not understanding what my body was doing.

I tried to speak but whatever was coming out of my mouth was
muffled, like someone had put their hands over my ears. Saying something seemed
like a good idea in those last seconds, but I had no idea what it should have
been.

 

Part VI

 

The procedure room was a lot more intricately finished than the
waiting room had been. There was silver equipment everywhere, things attached
to the wall that looked like they could fold out for some practical use. There
was a lightbox or monitor that was as tall as a man and stretched across most
of the wall it was on. A nest of lights and metal hung over me that looked like
it had traveled across the galaxy just to watch me.

“You’re awake?” he said, looking over his shoulder. I was upside
down and naked. I looked around as best I could, my head was strapped in place.
He had me trussed up like the Vitruvian Man to a metal and glass circular table.

“Whuh-whuh?” I said, my mouth cotton thick. 

“That’s good. That’s good.” He stepped over and put a finger to my
neck and measured against his watch. “Keep talking. Stimulating the brain helps
to expunge the effects of the sedative.”

Tears leaked from my eyes, retreating into my hair. My arms and
legs were slowly returning to my control but returned me to a state of
helplessness as the straps didn’t budge.

“You muhfugg. Lumme go!” My voice was an octave too deep. He
nodded and twirled an index for me to keep going. I hated not being able to
make words, so I just screamed as loud as I could. He smiled and retreated to a
wall and slapped it a couple times with his big palm.

“Soundproof. Can’t have my patients disturbing other tenants.”

I kept screaming even though I absolutely believed him, the rage
bleeding out of me and despair transfusing into the hollow inside me. He folded
his arms and watched me, waiting for me to be done. I continued helplessly, my
despair waning until there was nothing but wild animal clawing to the surface,
until my eyes were boiling and my throat had constricted around a bindle of
knives.

He waited until I was a quaking sack held together loosely in the
shape of a man, my scream the hollow whistle of an empty kettle, the steam all
burnt out of me.

“Ready?” he said.

 

Part VII

 

He stripped to his underwear. There was something wrong down there
but I only had bandwidth to deal with my problems in that moment.

“Please don’t do this.” My throat felt like I’d swallowed a cheese
grater. I was useless but still grasped a desperate strand of hope that I could
appeal to him man-to-man.

“This is for you,” he said. “I’m not some madman in a secret
laboratory. We’re in midtown and I’m going to extend my services to the
public.” He finished doing something with the tray in front of him and took a
step back over to me. I was eye-level with his bare thighs and he kneeled so we
were face-to-face.

“Don’t you love your wife?”

“Wha?” I felt like I’d been slapped by a thousand-pound feather. “Of
course, I do.” My head cannon was that this was going to be an intricate
murder. That the two of them had conspired to “do away” with me. But by
actually applying thought, I realized if murder was the goal, there was a much
simpler way for them to have done it.

“Wait, the surgery is real?” I asked.

His face screwed up in annoyance. “Of course, it is.” He gestured
all around him. “What are you thinking all this is for?”

“I dunno. I guess... I guess you’re some sort of scammer?”

He blinked several times. He reacted as though he’d never been
confronted by such an idea. “What would be the scam?”

I shrugged to the best of my ability and he shook his head. He
returned to the tray and picked up a long needle and inserted it into a vial,
withdrew from it, and placed both back. He looked at me again and saw my eyes
had grown twice as wide.

“Oh, that’s for me. For later. I’ve been ready, I was just waiting
for you to wake up?”

He picked up a scalpel that was tiny in his big hand. Now he
really did look like a cartoon villain. There was a lack of fullness in his
underwear. Like he’d been drawn sexless.

“Wait-wait. Uh, what were you doing in my house?” I was stalling,
still holding out hope that someone would wander in and put a stop to this.

“Oh, that.” His eyes turned upward as if he were watching a replay
of last night on the ceiling. “I watched you for a minute or two, yes. But I
truly needed to take a measurement after.”

“A... measurement?” My loins tingled in an unpleasant manner. He
waved a hand.

“It’s not what you think. I had to take a measurement of your
wife’s vaginal cavity after the two of you had finished. It was all very
clinical. Like a pap smear.”

Anger bubbled up inside me again. I tugged at my binds but I
wasn’t able to move anything more significant than my fingers and toes. He’d examined
my wife. It burned that he’d had access to her as much as her allowing him to
touch her. I squirmed like my skin was about to crawl off my body.

He looked at me, blank faced, and took another step. Once again, I
noted an emptiness to the area around his crotch.  The heat flooding to
the surface of my skin vanished like a big dog confronted by an even bigger dog.

“Suh-so you didn’t sleep with my wife?” I had to swallow hard to
keep my tone rational.

Now he really did look offended. “Sir, I am a professional? And
moreso, I am a married man. I believe I told you that. This picture you have in
mind of me as some sort of ghoul...” He clawed at the air with both hands, the
scalpel coming as close to his throat as it was going to. “You...” he twirled
the fingers of his free hand, searching for the words. “You score my heart. I
would like to think that once you’ve experienced the results, you will buy me
some sort of beer?”

He took another small step. His leg was about a foot away from my
forehead. He could have reached from where he was and began cutting away at any
part of my body he wanted.

“Could I... could I get a drink of water? My mouth is really dry.”

“Sure.” He reached from where he was and pressed a button on the
wall. The machinery beneath me was whisper silent as I was righted and the
excess blood flooded out of my head.

There was a water dispenser next to the tray where he’d been
working. He slipped a cone paper cup from the sleeve, filled it, then brought
it to me.

Cool water soothed my throat in microscopic sips. He must have
realized my delay tactic and upturned the rest of the water into my mouth. 

I swallowed hard and it felt like a bucket of water tossed on
smoldering embers.

“Will there be a scar?”

“Of course there will be a scar,” he said. “That is the point of
the surgery?”

He picked up something from the tray and reached toward my face
with it in his hand. I pinched my lips closed as he moved toward me, holding it
up like a prize. With the other hand he pressed hard at the back of my jaw,
forcing it open against my will. He slid the thing he held into my mouth,
sliding it over my back teeth until he had reached the last few molars, and
seated it there.

I tried biting through it despite knowing better. I was more
likely to dislocate my jaw. 

“That is okay? Not too uncomfortable? Believe it or not, it
actually helps to blunt the screams.” He seemed genuinely interested in my
answer and I grunted at him in anger. There was something wrong in his mouth I
should’ve seen the first time I talked to him, but I hadn’t noticed it until
just then, and it took a moment to process it. My panic leapt as every muscle
in me tensed, pulling with one last meaningless struggle. He waited me out,
stroking my shoulder until I quieted. He broke me like a wild horse. I was very
aware that he could put whatever in my mouth he wanted.

I felt myself surrendering. A calm settling into my bones that
made me want to rage all over again. But I was a car with no gas, my will being
swallowed up in the acceptance of pointlessness. It wasn’t a fight I could even
begin.

He moved his hand away and the table swiveled. In seconds I was
face down, staring at the floor. My tears tapped to the floor as I stepped out
of the cage of my head, my mind perching and spreading its wings as I imagined
my wife at her desk, inclining her head as she thought of me, too.

“H-how did you become an expert? What makes you so good?” My voice
was dreamy and broken, a thousand and one miles away, my words unclear from the
foreign object keeping my mouth open. 

If I’d asked a minute ago, the question would have been a last
effort to delay him from cutting me. But I was honestly curious. 

“I know I told you before. I practiced on me,” he said
quietly, his tone reverential. I imagined a beatific smile on his face as he
looked someplace else entirely.

“It took months. A little cut here, a partial penectomy there.
Each time I ask her, ‘Is it good? Is it better now?’ And each time, she tells
me, ‘Closer. Closer. Closer.’ You understand.”

He had a note of adoration for his wife in his voice that told me
he was standing on a bedrock of absolute sanity.

I felt the heat of him as he millimetered closer to my junk, no
doubt with that scalpel in his hand. I could feel his bare breath on my scrotum
and realized there must have been some sort of divide in the table between my
legs.

“I thought you said your wife’s satisfied. How do you do that
without... y’know?” My jaw ached when I talked.

He laughed. It was a really joyous note, not like he was just
trying to unsettle me. It wasn’t ironic or evil, rather a true, hearty guffaw.
I imagined seeing all the way to his back teeth as he pitched his head back.

He finally got himself back under control and he might have taken
a moment to dab a tear from his eye.

I’d gotten one last look at him before he turned me over. How he’d
looked down there and what he’d told me... I realized he must’ve whittled
himself down to nothing in his undies. That he truly had crafted himself into
what his wife had requested. That the nothing he seemed to have in his drawers
had been the exact mutilation that she’d wanted.

“It’s okay now?” he said suddenly next to me with a pair of blackout
goggles in his hand. He slipped the strap over my head as I moved as much as I
could but with a few deft movements, he had secured them in place. I could feel
my body surrendering against my will and I no longer had the ability to rally. 

“That wasn’t what she desired from me,” he said after he’d
retreated. I flashed on what I’d seen in his mouth again when his face had been
inches from mine. The thing I couldn’t make sense of before but had heard of. A
surgery of another kind.

He’d split his own tongue in half.

“Not a bit of it,” he said. “You understand?”

“But wait!” I was crying again. “If you need to cut me down there…
why do you have me turned around like this?”

“It’s mostly a single cut. Mostly. But your case is a more
particular situation. It will have to be more… intricate.”

Emily tiredly turned the key in the lock. Behind her was a grueling eight-hour day behind the supermarket cash register: the endless beeping of the scanner, disgruntled customers, and legs throbbing with tension. The only thing keeping her afloat was the thought of her warm rented apartment on the third floor of an old Brooklyn building and the fluffy ball of fur waiting for her.

"Hey, Mochi," Emily smiled wearily the moment she stepped over the threshold.

The plump ginger cat with white paws was already rubbing against her jeans, letting out a loud, guttural purr. The girl took off her shoes, scooped the cat up in her arms, and gladly began to pet him, burying her nose in his warm fur. All the daytime fatigue began to fade away bit by bit.

Leaving a content Mochi to wander around the kitchen, Emily set about making dinner. Macaroni and cheese were already sizzling appetizingly in the pan when a sharp sound pierced the silence of the apartment.

Ding-dong.

Emily flinched. She wasn't expecting anyone. The girl walked over to the door, looked through the peephole—the landing was empty. Only an old lamp burned dimly.

"Probably just kids playing around," she muttered and returned to the stove.

Barely five minutes later, just as she was plating the food, the ring repeated. This time, more insistently.

Ding-dong. Ding-dong.

Emily yanked the door open, ready to scold the troublemakers. But the hallway was empty again. The stairwells were silent, and the echo of her own breathing seemed far too loud to the girl. A slight chill ran down her spine. Logic told her that running away so quickly down the creaky stairs was impossible, but she forced herself to lock the door with all three turns.

After having dinner, Emily settled onto the living room couch and turned on the TV. For a while, everything was quiet, until her gaze accidentally fell to the floor.

Mochi. The cat wasn't begging for food or sleeping nearby as usual. He had crawled deep under the couch. His ears were flattened tight against his head, and his wide-open, terror-filled button eyes were fixed onto the depths of the dark, unlit hallway leading to the bedroom. Suddenly, a low, guttural hiss came from under the couch.

"Hey, Mochi, what's wrong?" Emily said hesitantly, peering into the darkness of the hallway.

Turning off the TV, she went to bed and pulled the soft fleece blanket up to her very chin. Sleep claimed her almost instantly.

...She woke up in the middle of the night, not quite understanding why. The room was quiet, with only the night city humming faintly outside the window. Mochi was curled into a cozy ginger ball at her feet, snoring softly. Her throat felt parched. Carefully, trying not to disturb the cat, the girl slipped out from under the warm blanket and went to the kitchen. She poured herself a glass of cool water, drank it in one gulp, and froze for a moment, staring into the dark window.

Emily returned to the bedroom. Groping her way to the bed, she lay back down and reached out to pet Mochi. But the cat was not there. The girl pulled the blanket to her chin, deciding the cat had simply gone about his business, and closed her eyes. And at that exact moment, the silence was shattered by a long, blood-curdling creak.

The heavy wooden door of the wardrobe standing opposite the bed began to slowly, centimeter by centimeter, open on its own. In that same second, a fierce hiss from Mochi erupted right from under the bed.

Emily's heart dropped into her shoes. Panic blinded her. She lunged sideways and struck the bedside lamp switch hard with her palm. Dim yellow light flooded the room. The girl's heart hammered wildly in her chest, her breathing fast and ragged. She froze on the mattress, staring until her eyes hurt at the ajar wardrobe door, from whose darkness her own clothes stared back at her.

But nothing else happened. The blackness inside the wardrobe remained motionless, and the cat under the bed fell quiet, continuing to let out a barely audible, menacing growl. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife.

On trembling legs, Emily bolted to the wall switch. The bright overhead light flashed on, instantly scattering the ominous shadows. Breathing heavily and gathering her courage, the girl walked up to the wardrobe and yanked the door open all the way. There was no one there except her usual things. Even rows of jackets, dresses, and shoe boxes. Letting out a sigh of relief, Emily dropped to her knees and looked under the bed. A terrified Mochi was still sitting there, curled into a tight ball. She gently pulled the cat out, pressed him tightly to herself, and stroked him for a long time until his trembling stopped and he began to purr. For the rest of the night, she slept fitfully, leaving the bedside lamp on.

In the morning, the sun outside the window dissolved the remnants of the nightmare. Emily, as usual, quickly got ready and left for work.

In the evening, coming up to her floor and approaching her apartment, everything inside her tightened. The apartment door was ajar. Emily remembered perfectly well that she had locked it in the morning with all the locks. Her heart sank: someone had broken into her home. The girl did not go inside. Panicked, she rushed down the stairs, ran out into the street, and called emergency services with shaking hands. The police arrived quickly.

Two armed cops cautiously entered the apartment, ordering Emily to stay in the hallway. The search took about ten minutes. When one of the officers called her over, his face looked bewildered. The apartment had not been robbed—electronics, money, and documents lay in their places. But on the floor, dirty bare footprints were clearly visible, leading straight from the front door to the bathroom. The tracks ended there. Most horrifying of all, Mochi was nowhere to be found. Emily called for him, looked under the couch and in the wardrobe, but her beloved pet had vanished without a trace.

The police questioned the girl thoroughly, took fingerprints from the doorknob, and left, promising to patrol the street. Emily was left alone in the empty apartment. Tiding up, she tried desperately to suppress her panic, hoping that the cat had simply been frightened by the intruder, bolted out the open door into the street, and would definitely return home. She locked all the locks and sat on the couch, listening to every rustle. Night slowly fell over the city.

And so she fell asleep, curled up on the couch and pressing a couch pillow to her chest, until a strange, sharp sound woke her. Emily opened her eyes, at first not understanding where she was or what was happening. In the dim light of the living room, the TV screen she had forgotten to turn off glowed faintly. And then the sound repeated.

Scratch-scratch... Scratch...

The sound was coming from the direction of the front door. Emily leaped up, her heart leaping into her throat. "Mochi! It's definitely Mochi back!"—a wild, desperate hope flared up in her head. Forgetting all caution, she dashed down the hallway toward the door. She had already reached it and extended a trembling hand to open the lock when suddenly, right behind her back, a sharp, dry click echoed.

It was the sound of the wall switch. The light in the hallway and living room instantly went out. The only source of light in the entire apartment remained the flickering, bluish TV screen, which cast long, ugly shadows on the walls.

Emily froze, afraid to even turn around. Someone had just turned off the light with their hands. Someone who was already inside the apartment. And at that second, the chilling scratching sounded again, but no longer at the front door. It came from the darkness of the hallway—from the direction of the bathroom. Emily frantically, to the pain in her fingernails, yanked the handle of the front door, but it was locked dead tight. She had personally, along with the police, looked into every single corner, checked every closet and pantry—there was absolutely no way an outsider could have stayed in the apartment.

But who turned off the light then?

A primal, paralyzing fear gripped her body. She was afraid to even turn her face toward the dark hallway, so she just stood there, staring unblinkingly at the locked door. The scratching from the bathroom was growing more distinct.

One swift dash—and Emily, breaking through the numbness, flies into the kitchen. She fumbles for the switch. The light flashes on. With trembling hands, she rushes to the nightstand, pulls out the drawer where the knives were kept, and pulls out the largest one. Gripping the handle with both hands, she steps slowly, with tiny paces, back out into the hallway.

Her heart is pounding like crazy in her ears. The girl peers into the living room. In the bluish, sinister flicker of the TV, she reaches the wall panel and presses the key. Light fires up here as well. With a frantic gaze, she scans the room—everything is normal, no one.

And then again... Scratch-scratch... Scratch-scratch... right out of the bathroom.

She drops the phone from her hands—at first, she wanted to call the cops, but changed her mind: what if it's the cat or something else? The girl resolves to look for herself. She approaches and yanks the handle sharply.

The light in the apartment abruptly dies out, and someone shoves her inside the bathroom with force. She flies in there, slips on something thick, and falls right into the bathtub itself, hurting herself badly. The knife slips from her hands and flies onto the floor with a metallic clang. And then the light turns on. Looking around and clutching her bruised arm, Emily begins to scream hysterically. Tears pour down like a river, she goes into total hysteria—for the entire room, the walls, and the tiles are splattered with the blood of her cat, who lies eviscerated right next to her feet.

Emily thrashes in convulsions of horror, trying to crawl away, to escape from this bloody trap. She tumbles out of the bathtub onto the floor. Suddenly, through her own sobbing, she hears a loud knocking at the front door. She needs to get there, there are people, there is salvation!

Crying profusely, on all fours, entirely smeared in blood, she tries to stand up and moves toward the door. The light in the apartment begins to flash frantically. The TV in the room hisses with loud static. Suddenly, she hears fast, approaching footsteps of bare feet on the floor. An invisible force with inhuman might lifts her into the air and hurls her into the living room, where she smashes a coffee table by the couch and hits the floor hard.

She screams, calls for help, but she is lifted again and with force they smash the window frame with her body. Emily falls from the third floor straight onto the asphalt. At that, absolute, saving darkness covered her.

EPILOGUE:
The next morning, New York newspapers came out with headlines about a mysterious tragedy in Brooklyn. Two patrol officers, who had returned to the scene due to neighbors' calls about a disturbance, discovered the body of a young girl on the sidewalk beneath the windows of her apartment. An inspection of the apartment left detectives in absolute shock: a blood-soaked bathroom, a butchered domestic pet. The case was classified as an attack by an unknown assailant, yet the police were unable to answer one single question: how did the killer manage to flawlessly leave the apartment that was locked tight from the inside, without leaving a single trace except for dirty bare footprints?

He never thought he'd be happy again, restless and itching hot, stifling in the stranglehold of the sheets in his bunk. He only wanted to kill himself but that was the trouble, that was what had landed him here in the halfway house. He tried to keep the angst of his bottled agony silent and sequestered to himself and his bed. They knew his brains were fried, scrambled but they didn't know the half of it. They understood the suicide component, the dead half of his brain but not the deadly side, the lethal aspect. The sinister boiling gland that worked and throbbed and secreted and bled within his skull. They knew he was Luke Waller, but they had no idea that he was the one who'd carved the kids last summer. 

The straightener. A name more real than his own because he could wear it and it was the one that came to him on the insectile mechanical growl of demon wings within a dream … a vision. Compact diamond eyes of an insectoid face that filled a landscape in its entirety gazed like the abyss gazes into him in the dream, the dreams. 

And he gazed back. 

Luke Waller bottled, kept. Fought himself. He tried not to convulse with the impact blow – force felt within from his own wild run of bloodfevered thought, thoughts that wanted to break out now in a decimating renegade birth that would eat all and the last vestige part of his diminishing humanity alive in abominated eruption. It would thrive in the suicide of this dangerous birth, he – himself, the other side… bloodthirsty and always in a roil. 

The straightener… it cried alive from inside the sweating landscape of his traitorous flesh and blood. All of it boiled now and inflamed and wanting one thing … yes. 

He tightened amidst a near miss, a near relinquish, his bunkmate uptop moved and shifted slightly, shaking the ramshackle structure. He forced himself to coiled awareness and listened for the man uptop. 

… he listening? 

Does he know? 

Does he know anything??

Does he hear the bellow of my mind, so loud is this cacophony, these thoughts? 

The snores from the bed above told him everything was fine, or at least so it seemed. For now. He relaxed but only slightly. Wanting to go grab some water from the kitchen but not wanting to get up and draw attention to himself. He didn't know what to do. 

His poisoned mind then turned to its most wretched run of hellspawn thought, it turned to the time and times lost … with Chelsi. 

Amen. 

Christ he wished for a spliff. A bowl or a waxpen. He'd even take the pills again. God help him. He would swallow the jumping beans made by the tall men in white coats if it made these thoughts and dreams and runs of spell stop. Please. 

God help me. 

Chelsi was dead and gone but that didn't stop him from seeing, not even when he palmed his eyes shut with the cage of his daggering and desperate hands, clawed and wishing they had the courage to go just that one last step forward and tear in and gouge… the dark refuge of his sweating and shaking hands did not free him from what he saw. The darkness of his own shallow calloused flesh and the thin hide of his eyelids only made it worse.

They only heightened the vision. The dark of his worn and filthy hands only made the dreams of what he saw more real. Tactile. More painful than real. More raw and servile than flesh.  He could taste the bile as it rose up his throat in a riot with what he witnessed: –

She was in Hell. 

She was in Hell and she was being tortured. 

Not Beatrice, not she. No. No heavenly sanctuary and aide or succor for his angel, no. He was no Dante and there was no Virgil. She was in the burning dark of the Inferno below and he saw the wolfen and goat-shaped faces and the appendage stalks and barbed genitalia engorged and full of blood and lust and the vile curd of demon semen dripping from the hooked rhubarb tips. They surrounded the shrieking and weeping and reaching pale naked and bleeding visage and form of his beloved … down there in the dark. 

And he was prisoner to watch it. Unless…

!Let me out! – the other side commanded. It wanted the clothface, the mask fashioned that was not at all a mask because it was really his true face, forged and made and bred by the creation and violence of his own hands. It wanted the claws, the gloves of black-brown leather with fashioned razor blades fixed at the tips. The hunting knife that had once been his father's. 

The straight razor

You could start with the idiot in the top bunk. He's just sleeping in bed. William. Wasn't that his name? He introduced himself to you when you came here from the hospital. His name is William and he's a recovering methhead with severe learning disabilities. You could open him up first, as first offering. As just the starter. Then you could go around like quiet on a cat-prowl, a creepy-crawl around the house and open up the rest of them. All of them are weak like you are but none of them have me like you do and none of them will be any wiser. You could open them all, one by one, one after the other like it's a party or it's Christmas and all of them are just your presents. Presents filled with red and raw and wishing to be aired out and opened. 

Deluge run: a schizophrenic collection of conflicting images filled his maelstrom thought. Images of children opening colorfully wrapped packages surrounded by smiling faces and friends colliding and commingling with his own memories of flesh split open and sliced and running in a raw torrent that was thick and darkled in the moon and the neon light. Dumb horny brats and he, their slasher. 

It was perverse and it was wrong and he didn't like the tingle nor the crawl that it sent traveling in a slither up his back and across his flesh … but then again he did like it. Even though it was wrong. Because it was wrong. 

He knew he was fighting himself in his head and he knew it was a losing battle, a lost war. It was a bad arena. 

He always lost. 

Luke asked the straightener: How? We don't have anything. It's all long gone. 

The straightener said inside: Then we make another. 

In his bunk he trembled. He might've wept. His skull filled with thought. Red thought. The whole night. All the way till morning. He could feel the blow of every cloven footprint as it formed within the sulphur lake of his boiling thoughts . 

…

Kincaid might've worried for Luke Waller, but he was just so damn busy. Managing a halfway house was ceaseless and often thankless work. 

He had no idea that wandering Luke Waller's brain was lactating bad milk that had spoiled and curdled. Now demon cultures of growth were beginning to blossom and flower and sprout, birthing unholy and sliming green in there. Like dripping wet swamp things from abominated wombs belching methane clouds and swamp gas that glows. 

Kincaid, the house manager, had no idea. 

Luke went about the house. Gathering what he needed. 

But there was one set of eyes that marked and tracked Luke as he went about the large spacious manor. It was an old colonial style home converted to a space for the mentally unwell and those that had just experienced prolonged hospitalization. Those that had been 51-50’d were the most common boarder in the place. Orderlies that were more interested in their phones than the drugged out denizens of the house peppered the halls here and there.

But Susan was watching. 

She thought Luke Waller was interesting. 

…

He was having trouble with the eyes, when she came in and over his shoulder said, hello. 

“Hey," she said again. When he didn't immediately answer. He was hoping she would just fuck off and move along like everyone else. 

She didn't. 

Looking away from his work in progress, a new clothface mask – this one white as snow, he cast a cautious glance over shoulder. Deep down in his drowning animal subconscious he hoped and prayed they wouldn't make eye contact as he did so. Even further down in the basement earth of his chemically drowned animal darkness he was desperately hoping and praying, wishing that they would. 

They did. 

She smiled. And it was beautiful. And it was painful. 

So Luke looked away. 

She sensed his hurt. 

And her interest subtly changed then to something softer and more personal, a warmer and wounded emotion of pink petals like that of a silken rose, one for a funeral haphazardly discarded…

“Hey, I'm sorry if I bothered ya. I've just seen ya round here and wanted to say, hi." 

Luke didn't say anything. 

“What cha working on?" A beat. “looks kinda neat, a mask or something?" 

Luke didn't say anything. Inside, the straightener coiled and pursed. Wretched. A scurrying rat run of hideous pestilential thought. He kept it inside. 

Susan was about to give up when her eyes traveled from the work in progress on the counter before him to the hands now stilled in their strange labor to the pale landscape of his forearms and the damage that was wrought there. Long purple scars of hectic healed-wounded tissue ran up the lengths of each one. Raised like brail on the parchment of his flesh for the blind and all else, everyone to read. And the lines of hectic tissue that hadn't really healed said something Susan understood. She had her own lines of painful brail carved and writ into the pale parchment of her own landscape. 

Carefully… cautiously… she reached out delicately and gently touched his shoulder. Luke jumped but only slightly. He relaxed like something melting and he let her turn him around to her in his chair. He looked up to her and he tried not to let the tears come. His vision was blurred but her beauty was still painfully clear to him through the swimming pain of his watery vision. She smiled and reached once more. 

The smooth and gentle flesh of her slender fingers touched and traced the length of scar that traveled the entire length of one of his forearms. He let her. 

They looked into each other's eyes. Spellbound. As if they'd already known each other for years, for great lifetimes of pure wonder. 

She asked him: “Is it ok, if I ask about these?" 

Her free hand went to the other long line of purple angry scar on his arm and traveled it smoothly with the trace of a soothing finger. Their eyes were locked on each other, they couldn't pull away from the deep of each other's gazes. 

Susan thought he might not answer, unable or unwanting when he finally spoke. 

“I … I was with someone. She was special. She was more than I'd ever hoped. She was more than I ever deserved. And I blew it. She … she was always so patient with me. And I always had the worst temper, always. Like my father. I would scare her. She would get upset and I would get so angry, I don't know why anymore, and I would lose it. Like an animal. She was always patient, and always brave, and she always stayed… even though she was scared. Even though she was scared of me, she stayed. And would wait for me to quiet down. And then she would hold me, like I was the victim. One day she couldn't take it anymore. She got too…  and couldn't stay any longer. She was frightened and left. She took the car. … It was raining that day.” 

The dam burst forth. The tears came now, down in a cascade down his face. It was painful, but Susan thought it only made him more beautiful. He kept composure though the raw of his broken heart was being laid bare. 

He went on, she held him tighter. 

“She wrapped the car around a redwood. Only three miles down the road from our house. I- …” He looked down to his own arms, the scar tissue writing and what it said there. "I know I never deserved her. I should've been the one to leave. I should've been the one to go and take the car and I should've been the one to-” but the pain rose with a roar inside and it was too much. He stopped. Trembled. Still holding back. 

Susan gave him the permission he needed. 

She said: "I didn't know her but I don't think she'd want you to hurt yourself like that.” 

A beat – a look of shock flashed writ on his face, momentarily there before what came next like an unexpected slap. He almost pulled away then. He almost did. But he didn't. 

He buried his face into her shoulder before she saw the shame of his sobbing face and she let him. She cradled him there. 

She added: “I think you've hurt enough…” 

Her own tears were starting. 

Slowly … fearfully… so scared… his arms came up and wrapped around her and returned her embrace. 

They held each other. And wept together. 

Feeling and healing and needing each other, each other's pain in a strange mental health purge and thirst. They drank the pain and tears of each other through reach and touch, the warmth and weight of each other. Feeling wanted and safe …

… 

… inside the straightener raged. The Id would not be denied the fornication of the knife-fuck slaughter held quivering and taut within like toxins that boiled with the chemical roil of his damaged and bastardized emotions. Inside the straightener, the Id wanted the girl dead. 

She's not Chelsi … it whispered and reminded him inside. Always. As the days of therapy and rest rolled past. The days of holding and being held again and not being afraid to look anyone in the face. Luke enjoyed this time. He'd not felt truly relieved, truly emptied in some long while… not since the year before. When he'd finally given in and the straightener had been born. 

She's not Chelsi … the straightener reminded. 

He'd not answered his other side in some time, he'd just gone on ignoring it. But not really. No. He heard and felt every insidious word and it was inescapable no matter how hard he tried to deafen and deaden himself to it. But he couldn't. 

The straightener was inside Luke Waller because he'd been made and bred of him. Forged. Cast of something smoldering and uglier than iron, mayhap meaner too. Hideous in fact, before the forge, this inner metal of his darkest heart’s mortal and damaged make and desire. But immaculate when aglow with angry flame inside the rage of the inferno. 

He answered him inside, the vast and cold dark of his mind's landscape, vast and small, both, and always in contest with each other in their battling aspects of size and dwarf. The damaged place of his mind's eye and landscape was haphazard and shattered sure, no doubt but he still contained the phantasmagorical multitudes of the living goblin universe. 

It doesn't matter that she's not Chelsi, she doesn't have to be. Chelsi wouldn't want me to try to replace her with a cheap copy of her anyways, that's not what I want and that's not who she is! Susan is beautiful and smart and so much stronger than I've ever been in my life, she's dealt with her abuse and she doesn't hurt other people to make herself feel better like some pathetic animal! 

The straightener enraged: Shut up! 

Luke did not: – She didn't have to give herself some bullshit excuse to make it all better and go away! She takes her pain and helps others, she doesn't spread around her own misery and lie around in the dark, she doesn't invent some animal persona inside to justify her bullshit and make herself feel better! She- 

But the Id inside would hear no more. Animal hands, monstrous talons came up in daggering claws that wanted throats, wanted to rend, wanted mindblood of the superego and this flimsy little brother both …

Inside the mindscape of Luke Waller’s boiling head the straightener and the weaker he, fought. 

In his bunk, in his bed. Sweating palms came up and worked at fevered scalp and face.

Wanting to tear and rend. 

…

The next day, Susan sensed something was wrong. The whole day, Luke wouldn't speak to her. His eyes barely glanced her way and he completely ignored every attempt she made to speak to him. She didn't understand. And it was painful. She thought they'd made some kind of connection and she'd shared the wounded and hidden parts of herself with him, because she'd felt safe. Because she'd thought he'd cared and that was what he had wanted. She must have been wrong. 

The whole painful day went by and midway through Susan gave up any attempt to talk to him and spent the rest of it in her room. Alone in her bunk, rolled away and under the covers. She thought maybe he was just having a bad day, and that that was understandable. She thought – she hoped she understood. But poor Susan didn't really understand. She hadn't really known everything from the start. And how could he have told her …? … the straightener was covered all over the news media, online and whatever was left of print and the papers. 

He went about and gathered what he needed. Then he went about making the tools correct. 

Ready for midnight. 

…

Susan was dreaming of her father, one of her many recurring nightmares, when she felt weight on her bed, all around, and immediately knew something was wrong. 

Her eyes flew open and a gloved hand came down in a rough clasp over her mouth to murder her scream in its infancy. He was wearing a mask that was soaking and dark and dripping something heavy and thick and warm but she still recognized his face amidst its animal contort. And it was awful. It was terrible, she screamed muffled trapped shrieks that became braying ghastly sound in the dark and she began to struggle as her heart broke and shattered and she tried to deny the excruciating reality as it weighed down and wrestled her and forced her into submission. 

Her wrists were bound. She didn't know how it had happened. If he had done it while she was still in the throttling hold of the nightmare or if he'd managed it somehow during her waking confusion in their struggle. It didn't matter. Arms overhead now bound by the wrists and to the board of her bed, captured and tied deftly in cruel knots. 

His gloved hands were away and she knew now they were the gardening gloves kept out back by the shed. He sat upon her torso, almost crushing her stomach. It was difficult for her to breathe as she gazed up wide eyed and by the moonlight cast in by the slant of window, she saw the blood saturated mask of the straightener shedding running darkling red rivers of pungent human black down his neck, down his bare chest, down his face like lurid tears, down his back a hellacious rendition of a red royal Roman cape, fashioned and painted made from slaughtered human blood, shed and collected in quiet nocturnal violence from all around the home. 

All about the house … before he'd got to her, he'd stalked. Just as the straightener had planned. Just as the straightener had wanted. Luke was reminded now, this was the only love that was real and this was the only pleasure that really mattered. 

This was the only ritual and exercise made for him. This was the only way for him to live and breathe. It was like breathing. It all came so tragically natural. The chemical imbalance of a mutant brain birthed and spat up by burnt out fuckup junkie parents taken and bred and made themselves by wild haphazard renegade MK Ultra. The most clinical name for the straightener’s chemical grandfather. One of the many poisons and doses of nightshade within the boil of cauldron that had made this wild man. 

Susan stared helpless into a savage face. She didn't know it, but she could sense the death and slaughter that filled the house, animal aware … she only momentarily considered the blood that soaked his masked face and that poured baptismal and grotesque all about him and not entirely on the surface of her thought. 

Her mind was more arrested with the immediate terror it now felt. His weight crushing down on her, dripping and spilling heavy liquid that was pungent and warm and saltier than sweat. 

Susan finally said, “Why're you doing this, Luke?" she began to cry. “What's wrong? Please, Why're you-" 

“You know why." the straightener said, cutting her off. He then hefted his weapon overhead, poised to devastate her face and skull and the precious life of memories and brains that were housed within with a vicious merciless caveman blow. His fashioned bludgeon also darkled in the moonlight cast. 

A wide and broad ornate table leg that had belonged to something wooden and nice, old and carved of oak, lots of little inscriptions and designs and marks of craftsmanship, the straightener had added marks of workmanship that were all his own. The body and bludgeoning-end length of the leg was spiked and riddled with chunks and splinters and jagged daggers and shards of broken glass. Taken from windows at every end of the house. Smashed out in clandestine fashion and then hastily gathered and collected. The stupid clueless orderlies and their phones hadn't noticed. Their sleeping quarters had been the first ones that he had paid a postmidnight visit. 

The glass shards and jagged fangs and teeth of the weapon glinted and Susan saw the teeth were not only translucent diamond and crystalline they were also ruby … scarlet…

… bits of scalp and meat, raw face and jowl and cheeks dangled from the shattered glass teeth of the ghastly nighttime table-leg fangs …

Susan saw this. All of it. As the straightener hefted his weapon overhead. Ready to crush and kill and decimate her life into painful oblivion with a savage animal strike. And something inside her broke. 

Immediately she pulled, and immediately she felt and heard results, but not enough. Not right away. In her sudden panic Susan savagely yanked at her binds, they suddenly pulled at their tied point at the boards of the bunk and there was a dry crack as something in the old flimsy structure broke and gave. 

The straightener's savage face curled and twisted into an angry snarl. He began to bring the fanged bludgeon down as Susan pulled at her bonds again and snapped the board and support at the head of her bunk bed. The top came in and down with another dry crack that was soon rapidly replicated as the entire structure came down upon them both. 

The both of them cried out as the bunk beds crashed together, Susan, and the manshaped straightener. 

It collapsed and in the sudden fall and twist of wreckage, they fought a private war in the detritus of wood and ripped mattress and blankets, and a third … the cold corpse of her bunkmate uptop, Savannah … she'd liked coffee flavored ice cream and had said she always preferred the top bunk. Since childhood, she had said that before. 

It was perhaps the straightener finding his gloved hands on her already dead and lifeless spent body and mistaking her in the violence for Susan that had managed her escape in the end. She crawled from the wreckage and fueled by raw desperate adrenaline pumping through the thudding machine of her galloping heart she made her feet and made the door and threw it open, sprinting out and down the hall. 

The straightener called out after her, a fury. But there was strange humor in that tempest rage of voice. 

“Lost in the wheels of confusion..!. …! !” 

She made the turn at the corner of the hall. And then the house and world as she had grown to know and understand it completely warped and changed. Then disappeared. 

Gone. 

The straightener called again: "Running through valleys of tears! …!" 

It was true, she was crying. Weeping freely as she animal panted and she was running scared. Terrified of the bestial thing she'd left behind in there. She ran ahead and down the hall into a home and place that had been transformed into a valley of violence. 

She went room to room, desperate and alone and needing to find someone, anyone … hoping there was someone she could be with to find help. Susan was nearly out of her mind with terror. She had to know someone was ok and she didn't want to be alone. She prayed to God that she wasn't alone, not with him. Not now in this house. 

She found only death. 

Dead. In each bunk. 

Heads caved in. Crushed. Smashed. 

Faces she used to recognize. 

Skulls burst open to free the spells of organs and meat that made the nighttime dreams of slumber that were now forever stilled. Or forever induced. For all of them. Each and every one. 

Some of the brainless and faceless and decraniated corpses had been pulled from their beds and bunks and had been strung up, tied and fashioned in grotesque marionette displays … like trophies. All over in random intervals about the sprawl and dance of the old colonial house, Susan was discovering now that they all were really filled with ghosts, ghastly night shapes, headless and dripping wet with mangled stumps of chewed up dog meat at the necks… the merciless glass fangs and teeth of the wooden jaws of the table leg, forged to unholy earthbound Mjolniir by the rage of the bestial straightener. 

Her terror mounted. With each room, with each freshly discovered corpse, cooling to rigor mortis and ghosthood in the moonlit night, pale light shining in from all of the many windows by the white face of an immaculate mocking lunar body gazing in from far away like an indifferent pagan god alive and dead and watching from on high in outer space. Her heart galloped as her mind felt hot and boiled and ran a panicked mile. Susan forced herself to remain focused, even as the halfway house all around tilted and danced, as if her mind was drugged or drunk. 

A phone. Or outside. 

Find a way to call the police and just get the fuck out of here. 

Fearful of her dormitory where she left him she ran about to the other rooms and places in the house looking for a cell. There was no landline. As she ran and desperately searched, the rooms, the couches, the drawers, the cupboards, the dressers, the bodies and the saturated beds themselves… finding nothing all the while, her terror mounted further, rose higher to a fever pitch and the old style colonial interior began to change and transmogrify before her very eyes. 

As it did, she heard wood and detritus shift and crash upstairs. In her room where she'd left the animal disguised in masked manshape … dripping and feral wet. 

The door to the room burst open. She hadn't remembered closing it. She froze as the halls and rooms funhouse danced before her eyes. 

He screamed: “Eyes full of angry delusion …! ..!..” and it echoed throughout all of time in the corridors of this swelling changing place. 

Thundering footsteps came in a charge then, then came in cannonade echoed and felt as they thundered downstairs. 

Susan forced herself into movement. Her legs felt faraway and she felt sluggish charging ahead but she managed anyway. Though she didn't understand. 

How did the halfway house change into the circus …? – she hadn't been here in many years. The inside now was one of those clownish fun houses with all the warped mirrors and looking glasses that made you look monstrous and ugly. Except as she ran about this clown house all the looking glasses made her look like dead bodies. Mutilated corpses. Her childhood had been ghastly and hard but … 

Coming here and living and the therapy and even the rooms with their bunk beds and shy downcast friends had been much like a return to living childhood once again … like a strange chemically induced summer camp. Complete with final terror. 

Footsteps on a charge, on the prowl, thundered and searched for her behind, throughout the fun house that warbled and danced like drunken perception does by the brightest Luciferian lunar light … in through all the windows which had changed into mirrors of warped glass alongside the strung up dead junkies and cast offs and forgotten people that were discarded here. She saw her own mangled and strange visage in every one as she ran on … this terrible warbling place that had grown miles long … all the while he thundered behind her. Till finally she came to the front door.

She recognized it at once, even in this strange place. It stood still and solid like trustworthy magic at the end of the cruel spacial dance of undulation and transmogrified growth, gelatinous fun house clown world … Susan ran to it. Her hands falling on the knob to twist it open but it wouldn't budge. 

It was a halfway house for the potentially suicidal and those with chemical dependancy problems. There was a curfew and the doors were locked after eleven PM each night. The keys were kept with the house manager. 

Kincaid. 

She was sure she had found his body too amongst the rest of the discovered corpses. But all of their faces were nearly gone if not completely smashed to meat and ruin … it was hard to remember, it was hard to tell. She couldn't remember finding them when she searched for the phones either. Her heart fell and she felt it in her chest like something final and apocalyptic. 

Id screamed once more, Susan whirled on her heels and put her back to the door. 

“!!HIDING IN EVERYDAY FEARS!..!.!!...!”

What she saw on the charge then, straight for her was as transformed and demented and mangled as the rest of this alchemical moonlight house. The blood sloughing and dripping liquid red-black mask had become the entirety of the raging beast. The Id was dark and eyeless with gaping pits of obsidian abyss in each hollow socket of the giant dripping stygian skull. The dripping slough of dark scarlet jaws opened wide with liquid ease, jagged broken teeth and canine incisor fangs of shattered diamond and crystalline rock stained to ruby and darker red with the slaughter and feast of so many countless past victims. The Id charged and roared and Susan screamed and threw up her hands and begged God. 

The door behind her suddenly opened and Susan fell back as it did so. She smacked her head on the porch and then darkness quickly fell and descended upon her. 

…

The rush of cold night air had come in like fresh water and it was baptismal. It had flowed in with nature's ease and cleansed the house of its psychedelic filth and mental backwash as Susan awoke. But not of the bodies, not of death, no. Now there were police everywhere, reality had returned to normal. 

Amidst strobing flashing red and blues, they searched and combed the house. They took the bodies. The meat wagon came with many many big black bags and carried off the corpses. They took the girl's statement. She was deeply traumatized, in deep shock. Barely making any sense. 

They searched for Luke Waller, the only one unaccounted for. 

He was missing. At large. And considered extremely dangerous. 

It was free. And at large in greater Los Angeles once again. 

They only found his old calling card on the wall of one of the rooms.

 Bold letters written in blood: – THE STRAIGHTENER 

XX - XX - XXXX (the date) 

BY BLUDGEONING CLAW  BY TABLE-LEG FANG

 ALL OF THEM HERE WASTING THEIR LIVES   

NOBODY CARED NOR GAVE A FUCK

…

Epilogue: –

The dream came again and again and always returned to him each and every night now since the great escape. 

It was always the same: he went into the bathroom, pale yellowed tile and fluorescent glow that made everything looked mottled and ugly. He looked into the mirror and gazed into himself. He brought up the garroting wires. They look like the same thing you use to cut cheese with, a long metal gossamer strand that was razor sharp, fixed between two burgundy wooden handles. He wrapped it around his neck still staring into the mirror and himself and he began to saw through the meat of his neck. The strand cut cleanly through. The head came off when he reached up and grabbed it by either side, lifting it away and settling it down on the countertop of the sink before him. 

But it was strange … his vision remained where it was … it did not travel with the organ set of eyes set in the rest of the meat of his head. He gazed into himself without any eyes, decapitated now. 

The dream was the same every night, now that he was free and in the city again. 

THE END

ONE

The diagnosis came on February 29th. Harvey had been out for a run, collapsed, and was rushed to the hospital. Stage four pancreatic cancer with metastases in his liver and lungs. He saw no point in treatment; he would be dead by July.

Despite the bad news, Harvey remained as kind and chipper as always. He sent flowers to his young mother every year on her birthday and Mother’s Day. She hadn’t spoken to him since he married Grace, but she came to visit him in the hospital.

“It’s her fault, you know,” his mother said, “whatever spell she put you under, something she cooked up in that trailer-trash house—”

“Ma!”

“She’s not a natural blond,” she continued. “She’s a Mexican. A real witch under cover, if you ask me. And she’s fat.”

“She was born in the U.S., ma,” Harvey told her. “She’s not a witch, and that’s my wife you’re talking about. She’s married to me, not you.”

“Yeah? Well, we’ll see how long that lasts.”

“It’s already not going to last.” Harvey’s chest turned to stone at his own words.

“Well, then you’re better off dead.” Her eyes widened as if she was the one who should be shocked.

“Is that really what you think?” he said.

His mother said nothing, but slapped him, spat in Grace’s face, and walked out of their lives.

Harvey couldn’t let it go. A few days later, he brought it up to Grace again. She was relatively forgiving and patient, but nothing like Harvey.

“You know I think what she did was absolutely unacceptable,” he said.

“Right,” said Grace.

“But she’s my mom, and I know my mom. She’s just been having a really hard time ever since my dad passed, and maybe she’ll come around. It’s better to show her love and let her know that we want her to be part of our lives. Sometimes hard things in life bring out the worst in people. It’s not who she is. I have to try.”

Grace chuckled, ran her fingers through his hair, and looked into him, eyes sparkling. “I know, and I’ll support you from a distance,” she said.

“You don’t have to.”

“Nor do I want to, Harv. What she did…I can’t deal with that once you’re…”

“I’ll deal with my mom. All we have to do is focus on the time we have together. I’ll be with you forever, Gracie girl.”

“I love you.”

“I love you,” he said, then looked down at her hand and held it tight.

“Why do you stay here with me?” she asked.

Harvey’s smile drooped. “What?”

“Maybe your mom’s right. Maybe if we lived in a better area, some place with more career opportunities, more money, more family, better health care—”

“Stop,” he said. “You know that’s not true. And if not, then I gotta do a better job.”

They both forced a laugh.

“I love you,” she said.

“I love you, too.”

Cancer chews away the body like rot, separating the soul from the devil within that eats you alive. The slope of Harvey’s decline was glacial—cold, relentless, slippery, and inescapable. Grace watched as death nipped at his ankles, lapping the flesh from his skeleton. He would sleep for hours and hours, worrying Grace to the bone, and when he woke he was delirious. He spoke like he was reading alphabet soup, and he nearly tore his eyes out over a pill he dropped on the kitchen floor. When he was finally lucid again, it conveniently landed on their very first wedding anniversary. It almost seemed like a miracle—or perhaps a final goodbye.

Since it was their first marriage milestone, Harvey booked a stay at a themed hotel. “We’ve never had enough money to go to Paris,” he said, “and I’m not leaving you with a mountain of debt to clean up.”

“I told you I don’t need any of that,” she replied.

“But I do. Let me do this for you…please.”

They went out to a fancy dinner and had wine and chocolates. The room was designed with a jacuzzi in the center, surrounded by planters of fake roses where a makeshift Eiffel Tower loomed overhead. They snuggled up in a warm bubble bath with a glass of champagne and turned on the cooking channel.

“How much do you love me?” he asked.

“Oh, Harvey. I really can’t do this,” she said.

“Why? Is it because you lied when you said you love me more than anything? Don’t tell me you love that schmuck from Grey’s Anatomy more than me.”

Grace laughed. “No. That’s not it.”

“Well, come on, babe. I’m dyin’ here!” he cackled.

But Grace’s smile went cold and flat. “No, Harvey. That’s exactly why. I’m terrified to find out how much I love you once you’re gone.”  

It happened while he was lying on the couch in their hotel. Harvey had gone to sleep after an eventful day—perhaps he’d done too much. His eyes had nearly glazed, as if his eyelashes were already shooing flies. Time stood unaware of how long Grace sat there and cried.

“My sweet Gracie girl,” he said, “don’t be scared. I’ll always be with you.” He wiped her tears, then he pulled her close, kissed her softly, and he was gone.

The young widow’s support groups were useless, completely foreign. Most of the women surpassed her in age by fifteen years. Harvey was thirty when he died. She was now going to turn thirty-one. She stopped attending the sessions after the initial newly-bereaved meetings had ended. Imagine that: newlyweds to newly-bereaved within a single year.

No one had received an invitation to her birthday party, because she hadn’t sent any. She had no true friends of her own—since everyone she knew was friends with Harvey—but some of Harvey’s old friends, Lisa and Harrison Caldwell, tried to reach out and be of comfort. Several days after her actual birthday, they invited her over for dinner and a game night. She could hear the laughter as she walked up the front steps of their house. A few of their neighbors had joined, she was sure, to make things less awkward. The conversation stopped as soon as she entered the room. It was like everyone had seen a ghost, an alien, something so far off from their own understanding that they’d lost the ability to at least try and act normal. Yet they still tried in vain to uplift.

A blond-haired woman who lived up the street—Tiffany was her name—was the first to break the ice. “My husband and I divorced just a little over a year ago, almost around the same time as…Well, I think I know what you’re going through, sweetie. Life’s not easy being alone after that. Tell you what. Hang in there. If you need anything, call me.” Tiffany slipped a folded sticky note into Grace’s palm and patted her fingers. Grace didn’t care what it was. She thanked the Caldwells for inviting her, apologized for not staying, and went out the door.

When she made it back to the car, she cried hot tears of rage. Maybe she shouldn’t have blamed Tiffany; she didn’t know better. But that didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

The car chuckled and popped and coughed its way to life—just another item on the list of things she could no longer afford. At home, she threw down the keys on the kitchen table next to the spider-web of overdue bills. A plunk, plunk, plunk into a small empty garbage can was another reminder that it had rained while she was out. The roof was leaking again. She tossed Tiffany’s crumpled sticky note into the half-filled bucket and watched as the water slowly drowned the note and dragged it to the bottom.

It was almost shocking how quickly other people stopped calling. The few invitations she did receive were horrible. The office parties and work socials were unbearable. No one dared mention Harvey. Everyone was set off by the uneasiness of their own mortality, to which Grace served as a constant reminder.

Eventually the invitations stopped altogether. All except one.

A year later, Grace got a wedding invitation in the mail. Her baby sister, Alegria, had met the love of her life.

Of course she went. Even now, she would always be there for her family. But Alegria would never get an apology for Grace’s absence. She spent most of the reception in the bathroom concealing dejected tears.

Time went by, and nothing changed. She went to work, came home, sat at the table, and stared into nothing until she finally went to bed.

Christmas was the worst.

An older woman from the neighborhood came by and told Grace she still had so much to live for. “You’ve got your whole life ahead of you; you’re so young,” she said. “You’ll find someone else.”

There, just like that. Problem solved. So easily dismissed. What life? Grace thought. What a life. Harvey WAS my life. My life is dead and buried.

But that was until she met someone…and Harvey came back.

TWO

One night she stepped outside—she always let the dogs out back before bed—when she heard whistling. Since they lived in a trailer park, she thought nothing of it. At first she thought it might have been a prank, some bored neighborhood kid, until she recognized the tune. It was the song they chose for their first dance. Their wedding song. The whistling came closer, drifting out of the densely packed trees of the backyard. It got louder and louder until it stopped.

The next night she came out with the dogs just the same. She waited in the quiet, listening, expecting. Nothing came. So, she thought she might help it along, like an echo, a call and response. She whistled the tune as best she could through chapped lips. And sure enough, like the breeze in the trees, the whistling came drifting back, like the strangest echo she’d ever heard.

In the morning, she was leaving for work when her next-door neighbor stopped her and told her about some whistling he’d heard in the night. “Sounded like it was coming from over your way,” he said. His name was Chance, an older fella in his seventies who did nothing but sit on his porch during the day and blast the news on his television at night.

“Yeah,” said Grace. “I was just whistling a little tune to cheer myself up a bit. Sorry if I disturbed you.”

“Oh, it ain’t about that at all,” said Chance. His brow scrunched, and he looked at her funny, like someone might look at a hairless cat. “You sure it was you whistlin’?” he asked.

“I’m…pretty sure,” Grace chuckled nervously.

Chance was still looking at her, something strange. “You know about these woods?” he asked. “Anybody ever told ya about ‘em?”

“Uh, don’t think so. What about them?”

“There are some rules that folks follow around here, especially going out in the woods at night, or being near ‘em.” He held out his hand to count on his fingers, first with his pointer, then middle, and so on. “No whistlin’. No singin’. No runnin’. And if—”

“Hey, Grace!” It was her neighbor from down the road. Dean. He was a single guy with an odd disposition and no restraint. He passed by her driveway every day on his morning run—probably timed it perfectly. “What ya guys talking about?” he asked.

Chance interjected before Grace could answer. “Ain’t you the Miller’s boy?” he asked.

“Uh…yes, sir!”

“Well, why don’t you run along and say hello to your mother for me. We’re having a bit of a private conversation here.”

“Oh, yeah…okay. I was just going to ask Grace if she was free tonight—”

“Actually, she’s having dinner with me,” Chance cracked. “Now run along before you make the poor young lady late for work.”

“Right, of course. Have a great day! See ya later, Grace!” Dean ran off, but his eyes lingered for far too long.

Chance smirked at Grace and gave a sly wink.

“Thanks for that,” she said. “I owe you one.”

“Forget me,” barked Chance. “You best stay inside tonight. No funny business.”

“Awww, no dinner?”

“Stay. Inside.” His face was a bit paler than before.

“You got it.”  

She sat at the table for longer than usual. She could feel two sets of eyes patiently watching her. When a paw touched her leg, she snapped out of her trance. The first pup, a black lab named Jupiter, stamped his feet with his tongue out and tail whipping. Pluto, a female golden retriever, watched longingly from the comfort of the couch. Grace wondered where she would be without the two of them.

Unfortunately, for two pairs of big brown eyes, staying inside was not an option, so reluctantly she watched from the sliding door as they finished their business and came back inside. Before she could slide the door closed, she heard it. But now the whistling had lifted to a breathy hum.

Grace had heard things from the other women at the support group—about how they had reconnected with their husbands’ spirits after they had passed. Everything had been so tasteless and gray for months. Whatever this was, she didn’t care what some old croak had to say about rules.

She left the door open a few inches. The hum drew closer. The latch rattled as if touched by the wind, then the door threw itself open, slamming into the end of the rails. Grace jumped back onto the head of the couch. She was surprised the glass hadn’t cracked.

The night air was frigid, stinging, so cold she snapped to her feet. The humming had moved back to the fence line, drawing her eyes to the dark dancing trees. A wind like this shouldn’t exist, she thought. It bit into her skin bone-deep, yet it called her to action. One foot after the other, no shoes or socks, she stepped outside. The hums lingered near the fence and stopped, perhaps sensing her approach. The wind whipped the gold-tipped remnants of her black hair into her eyes, and with the dark, made the night into a tornado of twinkling shadow. A harsh breath rasped in her ear, then nearly knocked her off her feet when the humming popped up again, right beside her. It floated along for a moment, hovered near the sliding door, then drifted inside and down the hall.

She followed the eerie tune into their bedroom where she half-expected to meet a calmness, a warmth, something familiar—maybe even Harvey himself. But she found nothing.

Tears soaked her eyes as she ripped the sheets from the mattress, gutted the space below the bed, tore sweaters from closet hangers. The shower curtain didn’t survive, being rend from its rings, and the bottles of cleaner bowled from their place underneath the sink. Next were the couch cushions, flung about the living room, the ottoman disemboweled of its blankets and pillows, but still no Harvey. The humming was gone.

After the passing of Hurricane Grace, she climbed past the tattered curtain and into the tub, turned on the cold shower, and sat fully clothed. She shut her eyes and wished and wished. She wished that if this storm wouldn’t pass, it would take her. She wished she could go back, do things differently. Maybe she could’ve caught Harvey’s illness sooner. She reasoned that this world was too cruel, too filthy without someone like Harvey Trist to keep the balance. But then she realized she sounded selfish. Perhaps it was her fault that he wasn’t here. Maybe she was undeserving of his presence, his thoughtfulness, his love. Maybe Harvey’s mother was right. Maybe she was just a fat girl swept away in a fairytale never meant to last.

The water chilled her bones, and she cried, and cried.

Something happened again the next night—something wrong. She stepped out, let the dogs out as normal, and stood in the cool, darkened breeze. It felt good, filled her with breath, fed her soul. She closed her eyes for a moment and let it pass through her, carrying away the sickness and the emptiness to a far-off place.

But when she opened them, she saw it.

It looked like a person, cloaked in a long robe or gown, floating above the treetops, arms outstretched in invitation. Grace blinked rapidly in denial, and the figure vanished. The breeze turned to a harsh wind, stirring the trees to life once more. The dogs barked at the chain-link fence, hackles raised in alarm. Grace tried to quiet them for what felt like an hour until the wind abruptly died. The dogs turned their attention to her, then walked past her and into the house. The woods were utterly silent, not a wisp, twig-crack, or cricket-chirp. She gave one last look at the petrified trees beyond the fence line and turned to go back inside.

She took one step onto the old deck stairs with a creak when it shot up from behind her. Harvey’s whistling had come back. This time it was down-tuned, slow and off-beat. It wafted along the air like a frigid draft so thick she could touch it. She stood there scanning the trees for a while before she called “Harvey!” into the night. “Harv, is that you?” she shouted. She watched for a moment longer until she realized how wide she had stretched her eyes searching and—

Had she really just called out her dead husband’s name into the woods at night?

Slowly, lazily, the whistling faded into the dark. But as Grace turned her back to the trees, gooseflesh crawled up her spine and nested in the back of her head.

The next night the rain came. It had nearly become a self-loathing ritual by now, stepping out into the night, hopeful that somehow Harvey’s spirit would return to give her one last night of warmth in her bed.

Tonight, she sat wrapped up on the edge of the deck, drawing circles with her shoes in the mud. A loud snap and scrape came from beyond the fence. Something sounded like footfalls in the undergrowth. She stood and shielded her eyes from the rain. A beam of light swept around the neighboring wood fence.

“What the hell are you doin’ out here?” roared Chance, blinding her with his flashlight. “Open up this gate. Come on, let’s go.”

Grace hurried to the man-door in the fence, unlocked and unlatched it. Chance came stomping into her backyard. “It’s been three nights I heard you out here callin’ and ugly cryin’, Lord have mercy.” His jowls jiggled when he got real upset. “Now look atchya, trying to get soaked to the bone, and for what? So you can feel something?”

Chance stared for a moment. Then the old man’s face drooped. His eyes went soft, and his jaw stammered. “I-I’m sorry, angel. Forgive me. You know how an old man can be. I just want you to understand what you’re dealin’ with. I know you’re probably sick of hearin’ what other people have to say, but you don’t know these things like I do. I was here when they took them kids; I remember. I thought I’d heard the news wrong, wished I had, when they started talking about kids.”

“What happened to them?” she asked.

“They disappeared. Vanished. Nothing, not a single hair, no clothes, no teeth. It was like they never existed. Both were only children of two single mothers. Jesus, the way those women were killed keeps me up at night. Maybe I shouldn’t find out what happened to the kids. It’s better they just blipped, gone. But it was something that came out of the woods, or lured them in, I’m sure. Either way, it’s been the last nail in too many coffins for my sake to let you go wandering around out here.” He wagged his finger at Grace like she was his grandchild.

“Thank you, Chance. Do you wanna come inside?” she asked. “I’m frozen.”

Chance took a wary look out into the trees. “Yeah. Maybe I’d better.”

Grace made them chamomile tea and set Chance up on the couch while she sat on the coffee table.

“I’m sorry we never got better acquainted,” she said.

“Oh, hush,” Chance croaked. He sipped his tea and licked his lips, staring at the rim of the mug with his eyebrows raised in delight. “You know, my wife passed away a couple of years ago. I know it’s not the same, e’en though it might shock ya to know I’ve got an ounce of brains in me.”

Grace tried not to chuckle. “I did know,” she said. “I’m sorry. And it doesn’t matter if it’s the same. A loss is a loss.”

He smiled. “You’re a good kid, Gracie. I know it may seem like it’s all over…When Annie passed, shit, I was a ball o’ sap. An old ball o’ sap. Imagine that—an old croak like me, lyin’ in bed at night, staring at the cold pillow on the empty side of the bed, soakin’ my own with tears, not carin’ if I had a mouth full of salt.”

“You’re a sweet man,” said Grace with glittery eyes.

“You’ve got family, dontchya?” he asked. She nodded and wiped her tears.

“Who?” he asked.

“My mom and younger sister,” she said.

“No dad?”

She shook her head.

“Well, shit. Sorry about that.” He sat forward on the cushion and set his mug on a coaster next to Grace. “Well, I’ve got my grand-babies, little ones. It gives me something to look forward to, something to do. Though it breaks my heart for them not to have their Gammy, I suppose it could be worse. You don’t have any kids, do ya?”

“No. Sometimes I think about how it would’ve been if we had. But then I almost feel grateful we didn’t. It might have ruined them.”

“It don’t make sense, ya know. When someone wants to die, they’re spared. When someone’s got their best life to live, it’s taken. Harvey was one of those. All good and not a splinter of bad in him. I never told you this, but when y’all were first married, I’d just had the funeral. Harvey didn’t know much, but he came over after I got home, gave me flowers, a case of beer…and he’d framed a picture of me and my Annie. Lord only knows how he got it.”

Grace looked up at the ceiling with soggy lashes and wet cheeks, trying to air them out.

“Tell ya what, kid,” he said. “The tears don’t stop. The pain don’t go away, not all of it. You’re gonna miss him. Ya are. Hell, I do too.” He choked on his words. “You don’t have to be strong….It’s okay. It’s okay to wanna give up. Just so long as you keep trying. There’s things worth livin’ for, trust me. You'll find them.”

He wiped his tears with shaky hands. Grace snatched one of them and held on dearly, fighting tears of her own.

“I don’t want to do this any more,” she sobbed.

“You’re telling me, kid. C’mere.” He pulled her in for a hug. “I think I’ve made enough mess for one night," he whispered. “I’ll call ya in the morning.”

THREE                       

She woke up to water dripping on her forehead, and the mattress was moving, undulating like it was…breathing? She startled awake and sat up. The pillow was dry, nothing on the ceiling. She thought maybe there’d been a new leak. She touched her face—dry. Strange, but never mind that. She couldn’t shake this filthy feeling, like she’d gone camping for a week with no shower. No, worse. She felt like she’d been touched. Like she could feel the remnants of poking, prodding fingers on her ribs and hips.

She showered before eating, this time with warm water, no clothes, and a new curtain. And no matter how much she scrubbed, she still felt the sensation of fingers in her sides.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Succedeva molto spesso che, durante il fine settimana, quando la neve e il vento sferzavano il paese, rimanessimo fino a notte fonda all'interno del bar di Tony.

A volte capitava persino di dormirci tutta la notte.

D'altronde, l'enorme camino sempre acceso in fondo alla stanza, la scorta

apparentemente infinita di birra e alcolici di ogni genere e i vecchi divani

disposti attorno al fuoco erano di gran lunga più invitanti che affrontare la

tormenta, anche soltanto per pochi minuti. Soprattutto quando il termometro,

appeso alla parete esterna della farmacia, scendeva sotto lo zero e il vento

cominciava a soffiare dalla montagna con quella violenza che faceva tremare

persino le imposte delle case più vecchie.

Il bar di Tony era il nostro rifugio.

Non era un locale particolarmente bello, né tantomeno moderno. Le pareti erano

rivestite in parte da pannelli di legno scuro, anneriti dal tempo e dal fumo, e il

pavimento scricchiolava sotto il peso degli scarponi bagnati. Dietro il bancone,

una lunga mensola ospitava bottiglie di whisky, grappa, rum e liquori che

probabilmente nessuno avrebbe mai comprato, mentre sopra la macchina del

caffè una vecchia radio trasmetteva musica a volume basso, spesso disturbata da

un fruscio che Tony sosteneva dipendesse dall'antenna.

A nessuno importava davvero.

Conoscevamo ogni angolo di quel posto. Sapevamo quale tavolo traballava,

quale sedia aveva una gamba più corta delle altre e quale finestra lasciava

passare uno spiffero quando il vento soffiava da nord. Conoscevamo persino il

rumore che faceva la porta quando qualcuno entrava: tre colpi secchi contro il

telaio, seguiti da un lamento dei cardini.

Eravamo cresciuti così, in mezzo a quelle montagne, e il bar era diventato una

seconda casa. Un posto dove non serviva spiegare perché si arrivasse con la

faccia stanca, dove nessuno faceva troppe domande e dove un bicchiere riempito

al momento giusto poteva valere più di un lungo discorso.

Fuori, invece, il mondo sembrava appartenere a qualcun altro.

1Vivevamo tutti in un piccolo borgo di montagna, uno di quelli che oggi

definiscono borghi fantasma: luoghi in cui i giovani se ne vanno per studiare o

cercare lavoro in città e dove tornano soltanto d'estate, in cerca di un po' di

fresco per sfuggire ai torridi quaranta gradi della valle.

Il nostro paese non era ancora morto, ma a volte avevo l'impressione che stesse

lentamente imparando a esserlo.

Le case erano poche, raccolte lungo una strada stretta che attraversava il centro

e proseguiva verso la montagna. Alcune avevano le facciate dipinte di colori

ormai sbiaditi, altre conservavano ancora i vecchi balconi di legno, anneriti dalla

pioggia e dal gelo. In inverno, quando le giornate si accorciavano, le finestre

illuminate diventavano sempre meno. Gli anziani si ritiravano presto nelle loro

abitazioni, chiudevano le persiane e lasciavano che il paese sprofondasse nel

silenzio.

D'estate era diverso. Arrivavano le famiglie, i bambini correvano per le strade e

le case chiuse per mesi tornavano a riempirsi di voci. I turisti passeggiavano

lungo i sentieri, fotografavano i boschi e si fermavano nelle trattorie per

assaggiare i piatti della tradizione.

Poi arrivava settembre, e lentamente se ne andavano tutti.

Gli ultimi erano quelli dell'autunno, che salivano fin lassù per cercare funghi e

castagne, prima che le prime nevicate rendessero impraticabili le strade più

alte.

Da più di un mese anche loro erano spariti.

Quello era il periodo nostro. Il periodo di noi che eravamo sempre vissuti lì, che

non avevamo mai abbandonato la nostra terra e che, nonostante tutto, non

riuscivamo a immaginare una vita lontano da quelle montagne.

E di quel periodo eravamo gelosi.

Non perché odiassimo gli estranei, almeno non tutti. Semplicemente, durante

quei mesi, il paese tornava a essere quello che era sempre stato: nostro, con i

suoi silenzi, le sue abitudini e i suoi segreti.

Sì, anche i suoi segreti.

Ma quella è un'altra storia.

O forse no.

Quel sabato notte la neve cadeva forte.

Molto forte.

2Aveva cominciato nel tardo pomeriggio, dapprima con pochi fiocchi leggeri che

si scioglievano appena toccavano il terreno, poi con una nevicata sempre più

fitta, finché il cielo era diventato una massa uniforme di nuvole nere e la

montagna era scomparsa dietro una cortina bianca.

Il vento arrivava da nord e si infilava tra le case con un ululato continuo. A tratti

sembrava una voce lontana, a tratti il lamento di qualcosa che cercava

disperatamente di entrare. Le raffiche trascinavano la neve lungo la strada

provinciale, la sollevavano in vortici improvvisi e la scagliavano contro le

finestre. I rami degli alberi si piegavano sotto il peso del ghiaccio, mentre, più in

alto, i boschi erano ormai diventati un'unica macchia scura, indistinguibile dalla

notte.

Una coltre di circa venti centimetri aveva già ricoperto l'asfalto. Nei punti in cui

il vento si incanalava tra le curve, la neve si accumulava in piccoli muri che

avrebbero reso difficile il passaggio persino a un fuoristrada.

Di lì a poco, sempre che non fosse stato troppo ubriaco, Marco Del Pont sarebbe

probabilmente passato con il suo spazzaneve per liberare almeno la strada

principale e renderla percorribile per il mattino seguente.

Ma non ci avrei scommesso troppo.

Marco aveva il vizio di cominciare a bere già nel tardo pomeriggio, soprattutto

quando nevicava. Diceva che il freddo gli metteva sete, una spiegazione che

nessuno di noi aveva mai avuto il coraggio di contestare apertamente. Del resto,

se c'era qualcuno capace di guidare uno spazzaneve lungo quelle curve senza

finire in un fosso, era proprio lui.

A patto, naturalmente, che riuscisse a distinguere la strada dalla propria ombra.

Dentro il bar, invece, faceva caldo.

Un caldo quasi eccessivo, che ti costringeva ad aprire il colletto della camicia

dopo appena qualche minuto. Il camino occupava buona parte della parete di

fondo, con una bocca larga abbastanza da inghiottire ceppi di legna che Tony

tagliava personalmente durante l'estate. Le fiamme illuminavano il soffitto con

riflessi arancioni e proiettavano ombre irregolari sulle pareti.

Ogni tanto un ciocco si spaccava con uno schiocco secco, facendo saltare

qualche scintilla dietro la grata di ferro.

Il profumo della legna bruciata si mescolava a quello del caffè, della birra e del

legno umido degli scarponi lasciati vicino all'ingresso. Sul bancone c'erano

ancora due piatti sporchi di salumi e formaggio, qualche fetta di pane raffermo e

una ciotola di noccioline che Donald continuava a svuotare senza nemmeno

accorgersene.

3La radio trasmetteva una vecchia canzone italiana, qualcosa che avevo sentito

centinaia di volte. Tony la canticchiava sottovoce mentre asciugava dei bicchieri

con uno strofinaccio che avrebbe probabilmente dovuto buttare via anni prima.

Era una di quelle serate in cui non avevamo nessuna intenzione di tornare a

casa.

Io, Donald DuVant e Jeremy Tonks, il proprietario del bar, eravamo seduti sui

divani davanti al camino. Avevamo cominciato a bere nel primo pomeriggio e

ormai avevo perso il conto delle pinte che mi ero scolato.

Donald, seduto alla mia sinistra, era un uomo robusto, con spalle larghe, mani

grandi e una barba scura che sembrava sempre sul punto di aver bisogno di una

rasatura. Aveva un carattere impulsivo e una risata rumorosa, di quelle che

riempiono una stanza anche quando nessuno ha detto qualcosa di

particolarmente divertente.

Jeremy, invece, era più magro, con il viso allungato e i capelli brizzolati che

portava sempre pettinati all'indietro. Aveva superato i cinquant'anni e gestiva il

bar da quando suo padre glielo aveva lasciato in eredità. Conosceva tutti, sapeva

quasi sempre chi sarebbe entrato prima ancora che la porta si aprisse e

possedeva quella particolare capacità di ascoltare senza dare l'impressione di

farlo.

Quella sera stava raccontando, per la terza volta, di quando Marco aveva tentato

di liberare la strada dopo una nevicata particolarmente violenta, finendo per

spingere la propria automobile dentro un cumulo di neve.

«Ve lo dico io, quel maledetto spazzaneve prima o poi ci seppellirà tutti», disse

Donald, portandosi la pinta alle labbra.

Jeremy scosse la testa.

«Lo spazzaneve non è un problema. Il problema è chi ci sta sopra.»

«Parli tu che gli servi da bere tutte le sere.»

«Io servo da bere a tutti. Non è mica colpa mia se qualcuno decide di scolarsi

mezza distilleria prima di mettersi al volante.»

Donald scoppiò a ridere e per poco non rovesciò la birra sul tappeto.

«Dovresti fargli pagare il doppio.»

«A Marco? Mi pagherebbe in legna da ardere.»

«Sempre meglio che niente.»

Ridemmo tutti e tre.

4Erano conversazioni stupide, senza importanza, le stesse che avevamo fatto

centinaia di volte. Eppure, in quelle sere, mi sembravano sufficienti. Fuori

poteva nevicare quanto voleva, il vento poteva portarsi via i tetti e la strada

poteva sparire sotto metri di ghiaccio. Finché eravamo lì, davanti a quel camino,

avevamo la sensazione che niente di tutto ciò potesse raggiungerci.

Era una convinzione infantile, forse, ma nessuno di noi aveva motivo di metterla

in discussione.

Almeno, non ancora.

Non ricordo quale fosse l'argomento quando, all'improvviso, la porta del bar si

spalancò.

Una raffica di vento irruppe nella stanza, sollevando qualche foglio lasciato sul

bancone e facendo tremolare le fiamme del camino. La musica della radio venne

quasi inghiottita dal fragore della tormenta. Per un istante, il freddo entrò con

una violenza tale da sembrare qualcosa di vivo.

Tony si voltò di scatto.

«Ma chi diavolo…»

La frase gli morì in gola.

Sulla soglia c'era un uomo.

Rimase immobile per qualche secondo, con una mano ancora stretta alla

maniglia e l'altra premuta contro il cappotto. La neve gli ricopriva le spalle e il

colletto, mentre alcuni fiocchi si scioglievano lentamente tra i capelli scuri.

Aveva il viso arrossato dal freddo e il respiro affannoso di chi aveva appena

affrontato una salita difficile.

Indossava un cappotto elegante, troppo elegante per il nostro paese, e sotto si

intravedeva una giacca scura con una cravatta che sembrava essere stata

annodata con particolare cura. Ai piedi portava scarpe di pelle, inadatte a quel

genere di clima, ormai bagnate e sporche di neve.

Accanto alla gamba destra teneva una valigetta rigida.

Non sembrava uno dei nostri.

Anzi, sembrava appartenere a un mondo completamente diverso.

«Chiudila, amico», disse Donald, indicando la porta con il mento. «O vuoi che ci

trasformiamo tutti in ghiaccioli?»

L'uomo parve riscuotersi. Chiuse la porta con una certa fatica e si appoggiò per

un momento alla parete, cercando di riprendere fiato.

Tony gli andò incontro.

5«Da dove arriva?»

Lo sconosciuto si tolse un guanto e si passò una mano sulla fronte.

«Dal parcheggio, laggiù. Ho lasciato la macchina dove la strada comincia a

salire. Più avanti non si riusciva a passare.»

«È venuto a piedi con questo tempo?»

«Non avevo molta scelta.»

«Beh, almeno è arrivato intero», commentò Donald. «Si sieda, prima che debba

raccoglierla con la pala.»

L'uomo gli rivolse un sorriso educato, senza però raccogliere la battuta. Posò la

valigetta accanto a una sedia e cominciò a liberarsi del cappotto. Sotto portava

un completo grigio, una camicia bianca e una cravatta blu scuro. Anche dopo

quella camminata, il suo aspetto conservava qualcosa di rigido, quasi studiato.

Tony prese il cappotto e lo appese vicino alla stufa.

«Che cosa le porto?»

«Un whisky, se possibile. Doppio.»

«Qui è tutto possibile», rispose Tony. «La domanda è se domani mattina si

ricorderà di averlo bevuto.»

Questa volta l'uomo sorrise davvero.

«Domani mattina avrò altre cose a cui pensare.»

Tony si fermò per un istante, poi prese un bicchiere.

«Affari?»

«Qualcosa del genere.»

Lo sconosciuto si sedette al tavolo più vicino al bancone. Quando Tony gli portò

il whisky, lo ringraziò con un cenno del capo e bevve un piccolo sorso. Poi si

guardò intorno, soffermandosi sul camino, sui divani, sulle bottiglie e infine sulle

nostre facce.

Sembrava prendere nota di tutto.

«Bel posto», disse. «Non me lo aspettavo.»

«Che cosa si aspettava?» domandò Donald.

«Non saprei. Qualcosa di più… desolato.»

Donald si scambiò un'occhiata con Jeremy.

«Aspetti domattina. Con la luce del sole potrebbe cambiare idea.»

6L'uomo non rispose. Portò nuovamente il bicchiere alle labbra e guardò verso la

finestra. Dietro il vetro, la neve continuava a cadere, illuminata a tratti dalla luce

gialla dei lampioni. Il vento spingeva i fiocchi contro la superficie, dove si

accumulavano per poi scivolare lentamente verso il basso.

«Sono arrivato qui nel pomeriggio», disse dopo qualche secondo. «Ma non ho

avuto modo di visitare la zona come avrei voluto.»

«È venuto per lavoro?» chiese Jeremy.

«Sì. Mi chiamo Richard Harwood. Sono stato mandato dalla città per un

sopralluogo.»

Si chinò, aprì la valigetta e ne estrasse una cartellina piena di documenti. La

posò sul tavolo e la aprì, mostrando alcune mappe e fotografie a colori.

«Stiamo valutando un progetto immobiliare in questa zona. Una serie di

residence, forse qualche struttura ricettiva. Il paesaggio è straordinario e il

turismo montano sta diventando un settore interessante per gli investitori.»

Donald smise di sorridere.

«In questa zona?»

«Esattamente.»

Harwood tirò fuori una fotografia e la posò sul tavolo.

Rappresentava un gruppo di vecchie case di pietra, addossate le une alle altre

lungo una strada stretta. Alcune avevano ancora i tetti intatti, altre sembravano

parzialmente crollate. Sullo sfondo si intravedeva il profilo scuro della

montagna.

Conoscevo quel posto.

Lo conoscevamo tutti.

Il paese abbandonato.

Per un momento nessuno parlò. Si sentì soltanto il crepitio del camino e il

rumore del vento che premeva contro le finestre.

Jeremy appoggiò lentamente lo strofinaccio sul bancone.

«Dove ha detto che vorreste costruire?»

Harwood indicò la fotografia.

«Qui. Il vecchio borgo sulla montagna. Mi hanno detto che è disabitato da

parecchio tempo. Alcune proprietà risultano ancora registrate, ma stiamo

verificando la situazione catastale. Se riuscissimo ad acquisire i terreni,

potremmo cominciare con un primo intervento già l'anno prossimo.»

7Donald posò la pinta sul tavolino.

«Non lo farei.»

Harwood sollevò lo sguardo.

«Come, scusi?»

«Ho detto che non lo farei.»

L'uomo sorrise, convinto che si trattasse di una battuta.

«Perché?»

Donald aprì la bocca, ma non disse nulla. Guardò Jeremy, poi me. Sembrava

aspettarsi che uno di noi intervenisse al suo posto.

Fu Jeremy a parlare.

«Quel posto è abbandonato per una ragione.»

«Sì, immagino. Le case sono vecchie, le strade saranno da rifare e

probabilmente gli impianti sono inutilizzabili. Sono proprio qui per valutare

questi problemi.»

«Non parlo delle case.»

Harwood inclinò appena la testa.

«E di che cosa parla, allora?»

Jeremy non rispose subito. Prese un bicchiere pulito, lo asciugò lentamente e lo

ripose sullo scaffale, anche se era evidente che non aveva bisogno di farlo.

«Ci sono posti in cui è meglio non mettere piede.»

L'uomo lasciò uscire una breve risata.

«Mi perdoni, ma non credo di aver capito.»

«Ha capito benissimo.»

Il sorriso di Harwood si attenuò. Guardò prima Jeremy, poi Donald, infine me.

Forse si aspettava che qualcuno di noi scoppiasse a ridere e chiarisse lo scherzo.

Nessuno lo fece.

«Mi state dicendo che il paese è infestato dai fantasmi?» domandò.

«Non ho detto questo», rispose Jeremy.

«E allora?»

Il proprietario del bar abbassò gli occhi sulla fotografia.

8«Le sto dicendo che nessuno di quelli che sono saliti lassù negli ultimi anni ha

mai avuto una buona ragione per tornarci.»

Harwood si appoggiò allo schienale della sedia.

«Questa mi sembra una leggenda locale.»

«Può darsi.»

«Non sono venuto fin qui per farmi raccontare storie di paese. Sono un tecnico,

non un cacciatore di fantasmi.»

Donald sbuffò.

«E nessuno le ha chiesto di cacciare fantasmi.»

«Bene. Allora siamo d'accordo.»

Harwood riprese la fotografia e la infilò nella cartellina. Aveva l'aria di chi aveva

già deciso che la conversazione fosse diventata una perdita di tempo.

Ma prima che potesse richiudere la valigetta, Jeremy si sporse in avanti.

«Mi ascolti bene, signor Harwood. Non so che cosa le abbiano raccontato in

città. Non so chi le abbia parlato di questo progetto o chi le abbia promesso che

lassù troverà un terreno perfetto per costruire. Ma se tiene alla sua vita, domani

mattina cambi programma.»

Per la prima volta, l'uomo sembrò irritato.

«È una minaccia?»

«No.»

«E allora che cos'è?»

Jeremy lo fissò negli occhi.

«Un consiglio.»

Il silenzio che seguì fu diverso da tutti quelli che avevamo conosciuto fino a quel

momento.

La radio continuava a suonare, ma nessuno sembrava più sentirla. Il fuoco

ardeva con la stessa intensità di prima e la stanza era ancora calda, eppure ebbi

la strana sensazione che qualcosa fosse cambiato. Come se una porta invisibile si

fosse appena chiusa alle nostre spalle.

Harwood raccolse i documenti e li rimise nella valigetta.

«Apprezzo la vostra preoccupazione», disse, con una cortesia che suonava quasi

offensiva. «Ma domani salirò lassù. Devo completare il sopralluogo e preparare

una relazione per i miei superiori. Non posso tornare in città dicendo che ho

9rinunciato perché tre uomini in un bar mi hanno raccontato una storia

dell'orrore.»

Donald si alzò dal divano.

«Nessuno le ha detto di rinunciare per noi.»

«Allora non vedo il problema.»

«Il problema», disse Donald, «è che lei non sa niente di questo posto.»

Harwood lo guardò per qualche secondo, poi si infilò il cappotto.

«Forse. Ma è proprio per questo che sono qui.»

Lasciò sul tavolo alcune banconote, prese la valigetta e si avvicinò alla porta.

Prima di uscire, si voltò verso Tony.

«Conosce un posto dove dormire?»

«La pensione in fondo alla strada. Se la signora è ancora sveglia.»

«Bene. Grazie.»

Tony esitò, come se volesse aggiungere qualcosa, ma alla fine si limitò a

indicargli la direzione.

Harwood aprì la porta e il vento irruppe nuovamente nel locale. La neve turbinò

per qualche secondo sul pavimento, poi lo sconosciuto scomparve nella notte.

La porta si richiuse con un tonfo.

Per un po' nessuno parlò.

Fu Donald a rompere il silenzio.

«Che razza di idiota.»

Jeremy non rispose. Era rimasto dietro il bancone, con entrambe le mani

appoggiate al legno. Guardava la porta come se si aspettasse che si aprisse di

nuovo.

«Non è il primo», disse infine.

Mi voltai verso di lui.

«Che cosa?»

«Non è il primo che arriva qui convinto di poter fare quello che vuole.»

Donald si sedette lentamente.

«E gli altri?»

10Jeremy sollevò lo sguardo. Per un attimo ebbi l'impressione che stesse per

raccontarci qualcosa che aveva tenuto nascosto per anni. Qualcosa che non

avrebbe dovuto essere pronunciato ad alta voce.

Poi scosse la testa.

«Niente. Lasciate perdere.»

«Jeremy.»

«Ho detto di lasciar perdere.»

Non alzò la voce, ma il tono con cui lo disse bastò a farci tacere.

Rimanemmo seduti ancora a lungo. La neve continuava a cadere e il vento non

accennava a diminuire. Tony abbassò il volume della radio, poi cominciò a

sparecchiare i tavoli, anche se era ancora presto per chiudere.

Io fissavo le fiamme del camino, cercando di convincermi che quella

conversazione non avesse alcuna importanza.

Era soltanto uno straniero. Un uomo d'affari arrivato dalla città, convinto di

poter trasformare un mucchio di vecchie case in un investimento redditizio.

Aveva ascoltato una leggenda, l'aveva giudicata ridicola e aveva deciso di

ignorarla.

Non sarebbe stato il primo a fare un errore del genere.

Eppure, quando ripensai alla fotografia sul tavolo, mi tornò in mente una cosa

che mio nonno mi aveva raccontato molti anni prima. Non ricordavo le sue

parole esatte, ma ricordavo bene il modo in cui aveva abbassato la voce prima di

pronunciarle.

Mi aveva detto che il paese abbandonato non doveva essere cercato.

Non perché fosse pericolante.

Non perché fosse difficile da raggiungere.

Ma perché, a volte, lassù c'era ancora qualcuno.

E non voleva essere disturbato.

Verso mezzanotte la tormenta raggiunse il culmine.

Il vento si era fatto così forte che i vetri vibravano nei telai. Ogni tanto si sentiva

un colpo sordo provenire dall'esterno, forse un ramo spezzato o qualche oggetto

trascinato lungo la strada. La neve aveva ormai cancellato quasi del tutto i

marciapiedi e i lampioni illuminavano soltanto una parete bianca, oltre la quale

non si riusciva a distinguere nulla.

Tony chiuse a chiave la porta.

11«Per stanotte basta così», disse. «Non ho intenzione di passare il resto della

serata a raccogliere neve dal pavimento.»

Donald si stiracchiò e sbadigliò.

«Io dormo sul divano.»

«Come sempre», commentai.

«Almeno qui il letto non si lamenta quando mi giro.»

Jeremy ci lanciò un paio di coperte prese da un armadio. Avevamo dormito tante

volte nel suo bar che ormai nessuno si preoccupava più di chiedere il permesso.

Mi sistemai sul divano più vicino al camino, tirandomi la coperta fino al mento. Il

calore mi avvolse quasi subito e il rumore del vento cominciò lentamente a

confondersi con il crepitio della legna.

Prima di chiudere gli occhi, guardai la finestra.

Oltre il vetro, il paese era scomparso.

Non si vedevano più le case, né la strada, né la sagoma della chiesa in fondo alla

piazza. C'era soltanto la neve, che cadeva senza sosta, e il buio della montagna.

Pensai a Richard Harwood, alla sua valigetta e alla fotografia del borgo

abbandonato.

Pensai a Jeremy e al modo in cui aveva pronunciato quelle parole.

«Se tiene alla sua vita, domani mattina cambi programma.»

Avrei voluto chiedergli che cosa sapesse davvero. Avrei voluto costringerlo a

raccontarci tutto, a spiegare perché un paese intero fosse stato lasciato marcire

tra quelle montagne.

Ma ero stanco, avevo bevuto troppo e, come tutti gli altri, preferivo credere che

non ci fosse niente di cui preoccuparsi.

Mi voltai su un fianco e chiusi gli occhi.

L'ultima cosa che sentii prima di addormentarmi fu il vento che fischiava contro

le finestre del bar.

All'epoca, non sapevo ancora che quella sarebbe stata l'ultima notte tranquilla

della nostra vita.

Part 1

Part 2

The next shift rolled around soon enough, and because the previous one ended particularly late, I was allowed to stay home for the whole day as required break. I took the time to read up more about the airport. With a glass of my favorite “spiked” hot chocolate, which was three parts hot chocolate to one part vanilla vodka, I sat down to read an old DIA schematic from 1994. The previous ramp agent had left it behind carelessly before he left us; he was supposed to have shredded it when he was done with his biggest project that involved foreign delegates for a big sports event last year. I had brought it home from his old locker when the keys were handed to me. 

Most of the layout matched what every ramp agent knew by heart: the automated baggage system’s loops, the central area where the passenger trains ran, and the deep electrical conduits. 

Except for Concourse A, Sub-basement Sector 4-Echo.

On modern digital tablets, it was grayed out, marked simply as DECOMMISSIONED. On this old schematic, however, there was a long winding loop from the now-automated baggage tracks to a vault labeled ROOM 404-ZULU: FOUNDATION ARTIFACT ARCHIVE. 

I took a slow sip of my drink, the sweet warmth of chocolate and the sharp kick of vanilla vodka cutting through the chill that had settled deep in my chest. What exactly is beyond there, I wondered.

I folded the schematic into a tight square and shoved it into the inner pocket of my heavy ramp parka. I wasn’t going back to the airport blind tonight.

I arrived at the employee staging area at 21:15. The locker room was eerily quiet. Miller’s peg had been replaced by a bright red tag: MANDATORY MEDICAL REVIEW – FIT FOR DUTY PENDING.

"Miller took a bad turn while returning home," a voice crackled from behind me.

I turned around. Standing near the time clock was Vance.

Vance was a graveyard lead who supposedly started during the pre-opening trials of the airport in the nineties. He was gaunt, smelled faintly of hydraulic fluid, and moved with a jerky uneasiness. While every other lead carried digital RFID fobs on lanyards, Vance carried a heavy iron ring of notched brass keys.

"Blood pressure spiked off the charts," Vance said, with a voice just like a recorded message played through a blown speaker. "Occupational health pulled him for a tox screen. You're doing 4-Echo solo tonight. Do you know what the scope is?”

I didn’t look into his eyes. I kept my gaze firmly on the brass keys hanging at his hip. "Log the archival seals of 404-Zulu, verify the manifest, return the brass."

Vance’s neck twitched, just half an inch to the left.  "Good boy. Take the freight elevator at the south apron."

I remembered something that Miller once told me. Never look directly at the contents of sealed crates. I went into the strongroom to retrieve a gear-inspection mirror.

“I don’t think you’ll need that, kiddo,” Vance said with a haughty laugh. But I had never trusted him. He was the opposite of Miller: looked like he had good intentions but they never turned out well. I said nothing, and put on my safety gear. After I was dressed, I stepped ahead and pressed the well-worn button to call the freight elevator up. I gingerly took a step in, before pressing the basement button. 

The freight elevator rattled and shuddered as it plunged past the apron, past the automated passenger train tubes, deep into the foundation. When the metal gates scraped open into Sector 4-Echo, the cold air reeked of dried paint mixed with rotten cardboard.

This was the infamous $300-million graveyard of DIA’s automated baggage system. Overhead, rusted steel monorail tracks twisted through the darkness like a phantom ribcage. Hundreds of abandoned metal luggage carts sat frozen on the tracks at weird angles, thick with salt formations and drained de-icing fluid from the surface.

My digital scanner died within thirty feet, its screen turning to static before flickering out completely. I unclipped my halogen lantern, and pulled the 1994 schematic from my parka.

The map showed three rail junctions before the abandoned room. Left at the switchgear, straight past the hydraulic reservoir, right along track 19. I started walking slowly, the heavy lantern swinging slowly side to side with creaks that gave me goosebumps. 

I reached Room 404-Zulu after about eight minutes. Its heavy iron door was secured with a brass padlock. I fitted the notched key from Vance’s ring and turned. The padlock sheared and fell with a deafening crack that echoed down the hollow tracks.

Inside sat a massive wooden transport crate bolted to an iron pallet, eight feet high and twelve feet wide. The exterior was well-worn, with many cracks and wood peeling like hangnails from dehydrated skin.

Stenciled in black industrial paint on the wood was:

PROJECT NEW WORLD: TERMINAL MURAL INSTALLATION #3

ARTIST: L. TANGUMA

RECIPIENT: SPECIAL PROJECTS OVERSIGHT COMMITTEE

STATUS: REJECTED / PERMANENT RETENTION (1993)

I reached into my maintenance belt and retrieved my gear-inspection mirror, the same one we used to inspect landing gear assemblies for hydraulic hairline cracks. Simple, but incredibly handy for precise work. 

I slid the mirror through a cracked seam, angling the beam of my lantern off the floor so that the mirror would reflect the painting.

Reflected in the small glass circle was the hidden third mural: THE FEEDING OF THE FOUNDATION.

The mural’s palette was dominated by sickly blacks, bone whites, and dried-blood reds. It depicted the airport’s 1993 construction: a circle of men in charcoal suits holding matching shovels around the open dirt pit of the Jeppesen Terminal. They were obeying the instructions of a soldier with a gas mask.  Instead of breaking ground, they were shoveling wet gray concrete over an open mass trench packed with screaming people.

In the lower right corner, the oil paint was glistening, dripping onto the crate floor with a soft tap... tap... tap. That part of the mural was dominated by crimson hues. Painted into that fresh red sludge was the tourist from two nights ago, wearing his gray fleece, his neck pillow torn open, smiling a wide Glasgow smile with an invisible seatbelt strapped over his lap.

Standing on the rim of the trench above him was Vance, holding his ring of brass keys, pointing down into the ditch with a grin. And next to the tourist in the pit? There was an empty space. Just a raw, gray silhouette of a ramp agent's parka, outlined in rough, interrupted pencil strokes.

Vance had already been replicated long ago, and the tourist from before was a fresh victim. But the airport was trying its hardest to replicate me. It couldn't. 

Instead of screaming, I instinctively put a hand over my mouth and gasped. 

I knew there was a reason Vance was so happy that I was doing this solo. At least Miller helped me with the rules. 

"You're not on the canvas yet, kid." The voice came through the mirror. Shivering hard, I tilted the small glass circle toward the doorway.

Vance was standing in the frame. His reflection jittered, blurring like oil on water. Through the convex lens, his outline looked two-dimensional, like a paper silhouette someone had pasted over the dark. Where his neck met his collar, there was no shadow and no tendons, but just a seam. 

He wasn't blinking. He wasn't breathing, either. In the freezing draft where my own breath plumed in thick clouds, nothing came from Vance’s mouth or nose.

"The foundation needs four tons of ballast every quarter," his voice vibrated out of the hollow wooden crate beside me. 

"Just turn around," the voice coaxed. "Look into the crate. Let the soldier finish the eyes."

The air pressure plummeted, popping my eardrum. That same freezing vacuum that had dragged the tourist toward the train and the tarmac began to tug at the hem of my parka, sliding my boots an inch across the silt.

Behind the wood, the wet paint hissed like a kettle.

Don't look at it. Never look directly at it. Miller's voice echoed in my head, raw and panicked.

I kept my chin tucked tight against my chest, staring dead at the floor. With shaking hands, I unclipped the spray bottle of concentrated de-icing glycol from my belt.

"I said," Vance whispered, and the shadow in the doorway took one soundless stride forward, "turn around."

Still staring at the concrete, I swung my eight-pound lantern behind me in a blind, violent arc. The impact didn't feel like hitting a man. It was just a sharp, hollow crack, like smashing through a stretched artist's canvas. Without wasting a second, I jammed the brass nozzle of the de-icer through the open seam of the crate and squeezed the trigger until the bottle emptied.

The reaction was instant and violent.

The wet oil paint inside screamed, as if people were drowning under a frozen lake. Through the slats, I caught a glimpse of running gray sludge as the glycol reacted with the paint on the mural. All the faces dissolved into oily runoff, and the penciled silhouette where my face was supposed to go liquefied, washing off the canvas in ropes.

The vacuum snapped. The pressure returned with an explosive pop that knocked me to my knees.

In the doorway, the figure that called itself Vance threw its head back. Its face began to peel away from the bones just like the runoff of oil from the mural. A dry, rustling wail pierced the silence as he stumbled backward into the dark, scraping against the rusted monorail tracks.

I scrambled up, grabbed my lantern, and ran. I kept the beam pinned strictly to my boots, following the turns from the 1994 schematic in reverse: left past the reservoir, straight past the switchgear, sprinting until my lungs burned.

I hit the freight elevator, slammed the gate, and jammed the brass key into the control box, twisting it until the elevator activated. The cab lurched upward, leaving the screeching metal and the smell of dissolved paint behind in the pit. 

When the elevator doors finally scraped open onto the apron level, I pulled up the sleeve of my parka to check my watch, expecting it to be twenty past ten or twenty-five at the latest.

The mechanical hands read 04:38 AM.

My stomach dropped into my boots. What had felt like ten frantic minutes in Sector 4-Echo had swallowed many hours of real time. I spent the remaining twenty minutes in the line-service breakroom, running scalding tap water over my hands until the skin cracked, waiting out the last ticks of the graveyard schedule.

I clocked out punctually at 05:00 AM. The Great Hall was flooded with morning travelers, oblivious and half-asleep, rolling their suitcases toward TSA under the white fabric canopy. Nobody smelled the harsh tang of glycol on me, nor the grey streaks on my boots. 

I walked past Children of the World Dream of Peace, keeping my vision unfocused. High up on the wall, the arm of the gas-masked soldier looked faintly warped. It was almost as if it had felt the chemical burn I gave the mural four floors below.

I was born with an urge to dig.

Before I could recognize my parents’ faces, know my own name, speak my first word, learn to crawl, or even understand what digging was, the urge was already there. By the age of five, I had already made quite a few attempts.

When I was two, my mom left me unsupervised in Grandma’s small orchard after a rainy day. I tried digging a hole in the soft mud. It was perfect for my small hands, but the lack of resistance left me unsatisfied.

Two years later, while my parents were taking me on one of their forest trips, we stopped in a beautiful clearing where I tried using a stick to dig into the forest floor. The rich, black dirt caught my eye, but the resistance it offered was too much for my undeveloped muscles. Still, the small round hole left me somewhat satisfied, but wanting more.

Over the years, I had heard my father, Andrew, talk to my mother about “Miner’s Day.” It came once a year and brought amazing carousel rides, cotton candy, corn dogs, and, most importantly for me, fathers bringing their children to see the mine. I was too young to grasp most of it, but I’d picked up one thing from those conversations: a mine was somewhere people went to dig, and that was all I needed to know.

When the big day arrived, everything was exactly as my parents had described. Once I had my fill of fun and sweets, it was finally time to see the fabled mine I had heard so much about over the past few months.

Everything was going great. I struggled to comprehend the sheer size of the tunnel. I was so distracted by it that, before I even realized it, my father had lifted me into his arms and placed me inside a small mining cart that carried us deep underground.

The following hours passed in a blur. Then people began running in panic. My father carried me toward the exit as another person caught up with us. From fragments of their conversation, I gathered that a tunnel had collapsed and everyone was being evacuated.

Then everything went dark.

The next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital bed. My mother sat crying beside me while my father nervously checked his favorite pocket watch every few moments. I knew something was wrong before anyone said a word. There was this intense pressure inside my head.

It took several years to fully recover. My father never did. The rock that struck my head left me with physical injuries, while the guilt over what happened to me consumed him. My grandfather’s disappearance that same day only made it worse.

On the morning of the second day after the accident, while I was still in the hospital, my grandmother called my father in a panic. His father had never come home. With the help of the police and volunteers, a search began. Before long, several people came forward saying they had seen my grandfather enter the mine on the day of the accident.

The focus of the search shifted immediately, but despite the enormous effort to clear the collapsed passages and search every corner of the mine, they never found him.

Eventually, the search expanded beyond the mine before being called off altogether. The official conclusion was that my grandfather had become trapped in an unmarked tunnel or cavern during the collapse. No one ever confirmed that explanation, or could explain why my retired grandfather had been there at all.

There is one thing I never told my parents. There was no reason to add to the pain and confusion they already carried. That day in the mine, while we were making our way through a tunnel, I turned around.

I saw my grandfather.

He was standing farther down the tunnel, smiling as he waved at me.

Before they released me from the hospital, my father had told me a great deal about my grandfather.

Years later, on her deathbed, my grandmother told my father the truth. His father had continued to go into the mine every day, even after retiring. She had kept it a secret because she didn’t want her son worrying about him.

“I should have told you sooner,” she said. “He never stopped going there.”

My father barely said a word. My grandfather’s health had already forced my parents to spend countless sleepless nights and considerable effort trying to convince him to retire early. In the end, she couldn’t let my father carry that guilt any longer.

I’m ashamed to admit it now, but none of that was on my mind. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something inside me had changed. I had to relearn how to walk, talk, and eat, but those were things I could regain. This was something entirely new.

The urge to dig was still there, buried beneath a primal fear that overwhelmed me whenever I considered acting on it.

My son, Andrew, was born today. It should have been the happiest day of my life. Instead, all I could think about was that it had been five years since my father disappeared. Or at least, that’s what I liked to tell myself. In reality, he had been disappearing long before that day. After the accident, he grew more distant with each passing year, and the rumors surrounding my grandfather only made things worse.

Rumors travel fast in a small community like ours. I still remember one boy asking if I wanted to dig with my grandpa. My confusion made him laugh, and he told the others I would find out soon enough. Someone in my class claimed my grandfather was the one who caused the tunnel collapse. Other kids said people had seen him sneaking into the mine long after he retired to dig illegal tunnels.

It was only a short time before the physical bullying started. During a P.E. class, two kids pushed me down and held me in a pile of dirt. While holding me down, they called me a dirt-eater. Another time, I found rocks and dirt in my shoes. When I was out on break, someone put dirt and rocks in my sandwich, which cost me half a tooth. The stories became even more ridiculous from there.

The kids said my grandfather lured children into the mine to eat them, that he was half mole and cursed to eat human flesh, along with every other kind of nonsense people could invent.

At first, the rumors were manageable. Eventually, my parents transferred me to a school in a nearby town, where I lived with my aunt.

I wish my parents could have left as well, but my father’s job at the mine was our only source of income. More than that, he refused to leave. I once asked him why he didn’t just find another job. He looked at me as if I’d asked the stupidest question in the world.

“This is what our family does,” he said. “Your grandfather did it. I do it. You’ll do it too. It’s what our family has done for generations.”

Three years later, the mine closed, and that way of life ended.

We named our son Andrew in honor of my father. By the time he turned five, my mental health had deteriorated enough that seeking professional help was the only option.

While the accident almost ended my life, the worst thing it left behind was the mental anguish. It began with anxiety and poor sleep, and later turned into vivid, living nightmares. I would wake in the middle of the night overcome with dread, convinced someone else was in the room with me.

One night, I dreamed of waking up in a long, dark tunnel. Somewhere ahead, my father was calling my name, but I couldn’t see him. I followed his voice deeper and deeper, until the tunnel opened into a vast chamber. At its center was a hole so large I couldn’t see the bottom.

For years, I would jump out of bed, hit things, and scream in terror. Eventually, my wife began sleeping in a separate room. That worked for a while, but by the fifth year, her fear and frustration had led us to discuss separation. Then one night, I sleepwalked nearly halfway to my hometown, terrifying my wife and nearly costing me my job.

And here we are.

My psychiatrist prescribed Valium and antidepressants, but she also gave me one assignment: write everything down. She wanted me to describe my urge to dig, how my fear began, and every detail I could remember. She believed it would help her better understand my condition, and that it might also help my wife understand what I’ve never been able to explain.

My wife knows what happened in the mine and about my father’s disappearance. What she has never known is that, ever since that day, my urge to dig and my fear of digging have been fighting somewhere deep inside me.

I hope she’ll understand.

Writing this down has given me a sense of control I never thought possible. Maybe now I’m ready to tell her.

The next six months went better than I ever expected. My wife took everything surprisingly well and became more sympathetic toward me. Slowly, the tension between us faded. We talked more, spent time together again, and for the first time in years, it felt like we were becoming a family again.

The episodes slowed to about once a month, and with all the progress, my psychiatrist believed we were ready to try something new: exposure therapy.

We started small. I simply touched freshly dug-up soil from our garden and watched my wife dig small holes. The first time she handed me a handful of dirt, it felt strange. My hands were shaking, but nothing happened.

A few weeks later, I dug my own. It wasn’t much, but I was proud of it.

As the months went by, my nightmares disappeared as if they had never existed, replaced by dreams of my parents, my grandparents, and places from my childhood. One place stood out above all the others: the clearing where my parents had taken me years ago. I could still picture the clear air and the soft texture of the dark, rich dirt.

I couldn’t explain why the clearing kept appearing in my dreams. Maybe it was simply one of the few places from those years that had stayed with me.

After talking with my mother and doing a little research, I learned that a battle had taken place there during World War II. A small Russian unit had fought German forces occupying the nearby mine. The trees had been cleared to create a defensive position, which explained the large opening in the forest.

That discovery only made me more curious. The thought of finding an old coin, spent ammunition, or some forgotten relic seemed exciting. More importantly, it gave me the perfect excuse to leave the house and use the metal detector my wife had gifted me for my birthday. In reality, people had likely recovered anything valuable decades ago, but there was no harm in looking.

The moment I stepped into that clearing, I forgot all about the metal detector. All I could think about was the first hole I had dug there as a child. The rich, dark soil seemed even more beautiful than I remembered.

What had I been so afraid of?

Hunger hit when I was about a meter down. By then, the hole was maybe a meter and a half across. I’d been widening it as I dug, trying to keep the sides from caving in.

Sitting here now with a sandwich, it’s honestly surprising how far I’ve gotten. I’ll finish my meal and continue for a few more hours, just to see how deep I can go. Who knows, maybe I can come back and dig some more another time.

Looks like I overestimated what I can still do. I went at it for maybe another hour and my body gave up, so I picked up everything and went home, right? Then why am I still in the hole?

At first, I couldn’t make sense of what had happened. It was hard to see, and for a moment, I thought I’d fallen asleep and collapsed. Once my eyes adjusted, I looked up. The opening was far above me.

Pieces of wood lined the walls, seemingly placed there for reinforcement and climbing. It took everything I had to make it out. My hands are raw and bloody, and I’m covered in cuts and bruises. My mouth is dry, with grit caught between my teeth. This constant hunger is eating me from the inside.

The ground seemed to shift beneath my feet. I stumbled, and everything went black. When I came to, there was no light this time, only pitch darkness.

Luckily, my phone is still with me. The battery is down to 30 percent, and there is no signal, but the screen still gives me enough light to see in the dark.

There is no wood this time, but there are plenty of tools used for digging. Why isn’t this place collapsing on me? I genuinely don’t know.

I sat in the dark, wondering what to do, when my hand brushed against something rough but smooth and icy cold. I turned my phone toward it and saw a strange rock. It looked carved.

Tracing its surface, I found a narrow crack outlining a section of rock. Beyond it, a passage vanished from view. It was a long shot, but the thought that this might be an old tunnel from the mine gave me hope. For the first time since waking up down here, I could see a way out.

It feels like there is nothing left in me, but somehow my body is still standing. I grabbed a mining pick from the pile of tools and struck the section of rock. In a few hits, it gave way, sending me plummeting into the hole.

The fall came at an odd angle, my left hand taking the impact and breaking two of my fingers. A piece of my T-shirt is holding them together for now. The pain was intense, but at least it was manageable.

It looks like this is a really old tunnel. Using my phone’s light to guide me along the walls, I occasionally come across strange markings carved into the stone, most of which I don’t recognize. The only ones I recognize so far are 1914, an iron cross, and, later, a sickle and hammer.

After wandering in the dark for what felt like a really long time, my phone battery ran out. With the wall as my only guide, I kept moving until I stumbled upon an oil lamp.

To my surprise, its wick was still burning.

I don’t know how much time had passed by the time I emerged from the tunnel. After so long in the dark, the warmth of the sun felt better than anything I could remember.

It took only twenty minutes to reach my car, and another twenty to get to my childhood home. When my mother saw me walk through the door, she hugged me and started crying. Once things calmed down, she asked a question that caught me off guard:

“Where have you been this past year?”

It took a moment to register: I’d been missing for an entire year. Keeping my composure, I tried to reassure my mother that I was alright, that I wasn’t going anywhere.

She looked at me for a moment before asking, “What happened to your job at the mine?” The shock must have shown on my face because she quickly clarified.

The last time she had seen me, I was heading toward the mine. Apparently, a company working to reopen the mine had hired me.

I have no memory of it.

Before taking a bath, I looked in the mirror and was shocked by how much weight I had lost. Dirt covered me from head to toe, and bruises marked my torso. Maybe from the fall?

I enjoyed a few bites of food while my phone was charging and started getting really drowsy. I unplugged it and slipped it into my pocket. I wanted to call my wife and child before sleeping, to make sure they knew I was alright, but the moment my body hit the bed, I was back in the mine.

The oil lamp was in my hands again, and I stood in a vast chamber. A few steps in, while fumbling with the oil lamp, I suddenly found myself on the floor. My foot had slipped into one of the many perfectly round openings scattered across the ground.

At first, I thought they were just holes. Looking down into one, I realized it continued far deeper than it should have. Then I noticed there were more of them. Dozens. Maybe more.

Some rusted tools lay half-buried in the dirt between them. What confused me was how these tunnels had been dug. They were too narrow to work inside, yet their shapes were almost perfectly regular.

I wandered between the openings for what felt like days, but every direction led to more of them. My phone battery eventually died, and after that, I lost track of time. I was constantly exhausted, but I no longer felt hungry or thirsty.

I should have called my wife before I fell asleep. At least then she would know I made it home.

Did I ever wake up after falling asleep?

There is a giant hole ahead, so wide that the cavern floor seems to end at its edge. I hold the oil lamp over it, trying to find the bottom, but its light only reaches partway down the wall before fading. I can’t tell how far the hole continues.

I think this is it. With nowhere else to go, I’m too tired to turn back. I’ll just sit here. I’m not dead yet, but I doubt anyone will ever find this journal. And even if they do, it might be too late to matter for me or for them.

I fell asleep again.

When I woke up, my lower body was inside one of the circular holes. I spat out some dirt and what looked like one of my teeth, then pulled myself free.

As I got to my feet, my hand brushed against something. I brought the oil lamp closer.

My dad’s favorite pocket watch.

[FN] [HR] [SF] An Invocation

The study had been built in the manner of a cathedral and kept in the manner of a tomb.

Dark walnut paneled the walls from floor to cornice, its once-glossed surface dulled by generations of hands. The ceiling climbed high above them into a painted dome where constellations wheeled across midnight-blue plaster, their gold edges flaking, whole stars disappearing beneath cracks as fine as veins beneath old skin. Tapestries hung between the arched windows, heavy with dust and age, their saints and kings faded into rust, umber, and bruised purple.

Beeswax, dry leather, and the sweet rot of old paper thickened the air.

Under it all lay another scent.

Metal.

Not blood exactly.

Rain before rain.

Shelves bowed beneath calfskin volumes clasped in black iron. Their spines leaned against one another at uneasy angles, giving the impression not of books stored but of witnesses gathered close enough to whisper. A globe listed in one corner, seas of cracked blue lacquer rolling beneath names no modern chart would recognize. Continents swelled where none belonged. Islands existed in latitudes where there should have been only black water.

At the center of the room waited an enormous writing desk scarred by centuries of use. Ink had soaked into the grain in stains like old bruises. The wood had been cut and recut by knives, compass points, fingernails, perhaps worse.

Fi moved slowly along the shelves. “This wasn’t a study.”

Her voice went upward into the dome and returned strangely altered, softened but multiplied.

“It was a vault.”

She ran two fingers along a row of chained books. “My family called themselves custodians. Words. Prayers. Things churches kept copies of and pretended not to have. Things other families burned.”

Adam sat in one of the leather chairs near the desk, nursing a beer that had gone warm in his hand. “Healthy family hobby.”

Fi ignored him. “My grandfather said some things were hidden because men would kill to possess them. Others because men would kill after possessing them.” She stopped before the desk. “And some because possession was the wrong word entirely.”

From beneath her coat she withdrew a folded parchment.

It was yellowed almost brown, brittle at the edges, and bound shut with a narrow strip of blackened vellum.

The room seemed to become aware of it.

Adam’s smile disappeared. Ari folded her arms. Nate moved closer despite himself.

Fi laid the parchment on the desk. “This was the most guarded thing in the house.”

She cut the vellum binding.

“My grandfather called it a lock.”

The parchment opened reluctantly. The script upon it was black, but not ink-black. It carried the faint oily depth of a beetle’s shell. Some letters appeared hooked into one another. Others resembled circles crossed by strokes so fine the eye could scarcely hold them.

“And he said it watched.”

Adam looked up. “Meaning?”

Fi’s gaze remained on the page. “It names a Watcher.”

Nate frowned. “Watcher how?”

“Not a person watching a door.” Fi swallowed. “One of the wheeled ones.”

That quieted them.

Even Adam.

Fi looked toward the painted dome. “All eyes. Wheels within wheels. The things Ezekiel saw beside the throne.”

Ari whispered, “Ophanim.”

Fi nodded. “My grandfather said our family had preserved one of their Names.”

Adam leaned forward. “One of their names, or its Name?”

Fi did not answer immediately.

“Enough of one.”

That was not reassuring.

Nate put one hand on the desk. “Fi.”

She looked at him.

“We can stop. Translate the full structure first. Identify the operators. Look for correspondences. At least determine what comes after the address.”

“No.”

Too sharp.

She closed her eyes, breathed once, opened them. “No. I know what this is.”

Adam turned the beer can slowly between his fingers. “I’ve watched you flatten a tenured professor with a footnote and a smile. But this?” He gave the parchment a small salute. “This feels less like research and more like touching a fuse to confirm the manufacturer wasn’t kidding.”

Fi’s mouth tightened. “It’s a Watcher. I’m asking it to watch.”

Nate glanced down at the parchment. “Watch what?”

“The threshold.”

“Which threshold?”

Fi hesitated.

That hesitation should have ended it.

It did not.

“It’s what the text says.”

Ari looked from Fi to Nate. “Can it come through?”

“No.”

Fi said it quickly, then more carefully. “No. That’s not what Ophanim do. They’re guardians. Interfaces. They’re not...” She searched for the right word. “Visitors.”

Adam grunted. “Comforting distinction.”

Fi set both palms on the desk. “I’m not opening a gate.”

Somewhere in the wall an old timber creaked.

No one laughed.

Fi bent over the parchment. The script seemed ordinary when looked at directly. At the edge of vision it moved. Not much. A letter lengthened. A circle turned. A hooked character slid beneath another and disappeared.

Fi drew a breath and began to read.

The first syllable was barely more than an exhalation. The second made the lamp flame bend. The third did not sound as though it had come from a human throat.

Nate straightened.

Fi kept reading.

The words emerged slowly, consonants shaped around spaces the mouth was never meant to make. They struck the dome and returned once, then twice, then many times, until Fi’s voice was no longer alone and the room had learned it.

Shelves began to hum. Leather bindings trembled. The tapestries moved though there was no wind. The lead joints of the tall windows ticked rapidly, like teeth in fever.

Adam put down his beer. “Fi.”

She raised one hand.

Not now.

The chant deepened. Their bones took it up. A vibration entered Nate through the soles of his shoes and climbed his spine. Ari pressed a hand against her sternum. Adam’s jaw tightened as the fillings in his molars began to ache.

Oil flames guttered blue.

Every shadow in the room leaned the wrong way.

Then the floor groaned, long and deep, not like timber settling but like a ship carrying sudden weight. The air thickened. Each breath had to be pulled into the lungs.

Fi reached the final line.

She spoke the Name.

Something answered.

The painted dome rippled. Stars elongated into streaks of gold. The darkness between them widened.

\*\*And the air split.\*\*

Not tore.

Split.

Cleanly.

As though the room had always possessed a seam and someone had finally put a blade into it.

Fire unfolded through the opening.

A wheel.

Then another wheel crossing the first.

Then another.

No rim possessed thickness. No flame consumed. Eyes opened along every turning circumference.

Hundreds.

Thousands.

Perhaps four.

The mind failed at the counting.

They looked outward. Inward. Sideways into directions the room did not contain.

Ari made a sound deep in her throat. Nate could not breathe. Adam whispered something that might have been a prayer.

Fi stared upward with tears gathering in her eyes.

“It came.”

The Ophanim turned.

And the universe opened with it.

Not one doorway.

Many.

Its eyes were not eyes. They were apertures. Every pupil looked somewhere else. Every gaze crossed a boundary.

Fi had asked it to look.

So it looked.

And because it looked from both sides at once, the things beyond looked back.

Four eyes widened.

Four distances vanished.

And each of them was seen.

Fi stood in a forest of black crystal.

There had been no transition, no falling. The study remained beneath her feet, yet another place had laid itself across it with such authority that the walnut walls became thin ghosts behind trees sharp enough to cut moonlight.

Branches of obsidian glass trembled in a wind she could not feel.

They chimed.

High.

Beautiful.

Wrong.

Shapes drifted between the trunks. Pale figures. Tall. Narrow. Their limbs were too graceful to be human and too deliberate to be natural.

One turned its face toward her.

Then another.

Then all of them.

They had no eyes, only smooth silver hollows where eyes should have been, yet Fi felt their attention enter her.

Not her thoughts.

Deeper.

Memory moved inside her without permission. Her grandmother’s kitchen. Her grandfather’s hands unfolding old vellum. Her mother’s maiden name written on the flyleaf of a Bible. The smell of cedar chests. A lullaby. A grave.

The figures smiled.

Their mouths opened.

Nothing emerged that the ear could hear, but words formed in Fi’s marrow.

\*Daughter.\*

The trees chimed.

\*Daughter of daughters.\*

Her throat tightened.

\*We remember the road your blood forgot.\*

A pale figure extended one long hand.

\*Give us the rest.\*

Fi did not understand.

Then her surname rose inside her.

Not as memory.

As pressure.

It moved from her chest toward her tongue. Her lips parted.

The pale heads inclined.

Listening.

Learning.

Ari saw a green sea beneath a sky without stars.

The water boiled silently from horizon to horizon. Beyond it stood an island washed in twilight, and on the shore waited a single figure, crowned not with gold but with something brighter.

Its face shifted each time she tried to see it.

Her father.

Then no one she knew.

Then someone she had been waiting for all her life.

Its hand opened.

Ari began to cry.

Not from fear.

From relief.

The figure knew every tired thing in her. Every prayer that had gone unanswered. Every night she had asked for one hour without being required to endure herself.

The sea became still.

\*Come.\*

The voice came from everywhere.

\*You have carried enough.\*

Her knees nearly buckled.

\*Rest.\*

Her childhood name formed in her mouth, the one only her mother used when Ari was sick.

The crowned figure smiled.

\*Tell me who comes.\*

The first syllable slipped between Ari’s teeth.

The thing on the shore repeated it.

Almost correctly.

Adam stood before a city descending into the earth.

No.

Not descending.

Drilled.

Tower after black tower spiraled downward into the throat of living stone. Walls curved beneath impossible weight. Battlements disappeared miles below him, lit by furnace-red windows.

Ranks of figures stood upon them.

Thousands.

Armored.

Still.

Waiting.

Then one stepped forward.

It wore no insignia Adam knew, yet when it raised its hand, his body recognized the salute.

Attention.

Recognition.

Belonging.

\*Soldier.\*

The word struck harder than command.

\*You have stood without orders long enough.\*

Adam’s stomach dropped.

His dead chief’s voice followed.

Then his father’s.

Then men whose faces he had not remembered in years.

His mother’s voice came last.

It spoke his full name.

Tenderly.

Exactly as she had when he was five years old and feverish.

His jaw opened before he knew it.

Across the abyss, the armored figure leaned forward.

Listening.

Its own mouth began to move.

Testing the shape.

Adam bit his tongue.

Blood filled his mouth.

The thing below smiled.

Nate saw twelve black suns.

They hung above a desert so vast that the idea of distance became meaningless. No light came from them, yet every grain of sand was visible.

Something moved beneath the dunes.

Something larger than geography.

A ridge rose.

Then another.

Then a shape miles long rolled beneath the earth.

Nate knew suddenly that the desert was not a place.

It was a covering.

The thing beneath it turned.

The twelve suns turned with it.

A voice entered him, not through hearing but through weight.

\*Mortal.\*

His knees bent.

\*We mark the edge of you.\*

The sand rose in pillars.

\*Speak.\*

Nate felt his own name not as sound but as structure. A pattern. An arrangement of himself.

Something in the desert touched its first edge.

His tongue moved.

The thing below moved with it.

Learning.

Four voices rose in the study.

Fi. Ari. Adam. Nate.

Each spoke one fragment, different syllables drawn from different histories, and together they became something else.

The room received them.

The Ophanim turned.

The four distant worlds leaned nearer.

And something passed through the group.

Not possession.

Resonance.

The invocation had not called four separate horrors. The four human beings had become one calling shape: grief, pride, loneliness, duty, hunger to know, fear of being unknown, all of it braided into a single harmonic wound.

Across the thresholds, things answered according to appetite.

The pale figures in the black forest pressed closer between the trees. The crowned being stepped into the green sea without sinking. The armies in the buried city began to beat spear shafts against stone. Beneath the desert, mountains opened their mouths.

They were not merely beckoning now.

They were listening.

Repeating.

Trying the syllables.

Fi heard her own fragment spoken among the crystal trees, poorly at first, then better.

Ari’s crossed the sea back toward her.

Adam’s echoed down through the ranks.

Nate’s moved beneath the sand.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Each repetition nearer to the truth.

Their Names were being assembled from the outside.

Not stolen.

Learned.

The knowledge of them growing teeth.

Fi tried to stop speaking.

Her mouth continued.

Panic finally broke through wonder.

She had called the Watcher correctly.

That was the horror.

Nothing in the invocation had failed.

The Ophanim had come.

The threshold had opened to sight.

And she had known the Name of only one thing present.

The others were strangers.

Strangers already learning hers.

Then another voice entered the room.

Not loud.

Not soft.

Perfect.

One word.

No.

A Name.

It fell through the chamber with the finality of judgment.

Every lamp flame became a white needle.

The forest shattered. Crystal trees burst into black rain. The pale figures twisted as though seized by invisible hooks, their mouths opening impossibly wide.

The crowned thing in the sea recoiled.

For one instant its beauty failed.

Something ancient and starved looked through.

The buried city convulsed. Towers folded. Battlements cracked. The saluting figure dropped to its knees.

The desert erupted. Shapes larger than kingdoms broke the surface, then collapsed as though their bones had been taken from them.

Across all four visions came the same recognition.

Fear.

Not of the humans.

Of the speaker.

The Ophanim stopped turning.

Every eye fixed upon one point in the room.

A shadow between two tapestries.

The voice spoke again.

Another Name.

Different.

Sharper.

The entities shrieked.

This time there was sound.

Not in the air.

Inside the teeth.

The Ophanim’s eyes slammed shut.

The worlds vanished.

The pull ended.

Four human voices broke off in mid-syllable.

Fi collapsed against the desk. Ari fell to her knees. Adam tipped sideways with the chair. Nate struck the floor hard enough to bruise both palms.

For several seconds the room contained only choking, coughing, and the brittle ticking of cooling glass.

Then silence returned.

It was not empty.

It had learned them too.

A man stepped from between the tapestries.

No one had seen him enter.

His coat was long, dark, and badly worn. Dust crusted the seams. His boots had been resoled more than once and looked made for roads no sensible man would choose. He carried no visible weapon.

That did nothing to make him look harmless.

His face was lean beneath several days of beard. Deep lines cut around his mouth and eyes. Not age alone.

Mileage.

He surveyed the room as a carpenter might inspect a damaged house: ceiling, windows, parchment, people, where it would hold and where it would fail.

Adam wiped blood from his lips. “And just who the hell are you supposed to be?”

The stranger’s eyes moved to him, then Fi, then Ari, then Nate. He looked not at their faces but at their mouths, at the unfinished sounds still trembling there.

When he spoke, each word seemed selected for cost.

“I have had many names. Many I have forgotten. More I have worked very hard to make others forget.”

Adam stared.

The man sighed. “You may call me Bob.”

Adam blinked, then laughed once. It cracked halfway out.

“Hell of an entrance, Bob.”

Fi spat blood into a handkerchief. “You speak a word that makes \*that\* happen and then tell us your name is Bob?”

“Precisely.”

“Bob.”

“Yes.”

“That’s absurd.”

“Names have power.”

His expression did not change.

“Absurd ones have uses.”

Fi glared at him. “Who are you?”

“Bob.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I know exactly what you mean. The answer remains Bob.”

Ari managed to stand. “You stopped them.”

Bob looked at her.

“No.”

The word fell flat.

“I interrupted them.”

Ari swallowed. “The things we saw?”

“They were beginning.”

“Beginning what?”

Bob’s eyes went to her mouth.

“To say you.”

No one spoke.

Even Adam’s humor died.

Fi straightened slowly. “We summoned the Ophanim.”

“Yes.”

Her face changed, not relief but vindication poisoned by dread. “So that part worked.”

“Perfectly.”

The word landed harder than accusation.

Bob walked to the desk. “That is why you are still alive.”

Fi frowned.

He pointed to the parchment. “You knew enough of its Name to call it.”

“The Watcher.”

“The Ophanim.” He looked upward. “It came.”

Fi’s hands tightened against the desk. “And the others?”

“You didn’t summon them.”

She stared.

Bob touched one finger to the parchment.

“You summoned a threshold.”

Fi shook her head. “No. I called a Watcher.”

“It is the threshold.”

He said it with the patience of a man correcting a measurement.

“A thing made entirely of eyes is not standing beside the door.”

He looked at the dark place above them where the wheel had been.

“It is the door.”

The room seemed to contract.

“You asked it to look,” Bob said. “So it looked. Both ways.”

Fi went pale.

Nate whispered, “Everything on the other side could see us.”

“No.”

Bob turned toward him.

“Not everything.”

That was worse.

“Only the things close enough to answer.”

Adam wiped his mouth again. “Answer what?”

Bob looked at all four of them.

“You.”

He walked around the desk. “Invocation is not a telephone.”

Fi’s eyes narrowed. “I know that.”

“No. You don’t.”

The words were not cruel.

They were simply finished.

“You thought knowing the Ophanim’s Name meant you knew what you were calling.”

“I did know.”

“You knew one Name. You did not know what your own calling would sound like after it passed through the threshold.”

Silence.

Bob pointed at Fi. “You brought bloodline. Custodianship. Inheritance. Pride. Guilt.”

His finger moved to Ari. “You brought exhaustion. Longing. The desire to be relieved of yourself.”

Adam. “You brought duty. Authority. Kinship through command.”

Nate. “You brought hunger for the thing beyond understanding.”

Nate’s face tightened.

Bob lowered his hand. “And then you spoke together. Four voices. One invocation.”

Fi stared at him. “A composite call.”

“Yes.” Bob’s eyes showed the faintest flicker of approval. “Now you’re listening.”

He looked toward the dome. “The Ophanim did not choose what answered. It opened sight across the threshold. Your combined call did the rest.”

Ari rubbed her arms. “Those things were drawn to us.”

“To parts of you,” Bob corrected her. “The hungriest things nearest those parts.”

Adam muttered, “That’s comforting.”

“It shouldn’t be.”

Fi looked down at the parchment. “So the forest...”

“Responded to you.”

“The island?”

“To her.”

“The city?”

“To him.”

“The desert?”

Bob looked at Nate. “God help us, yes.”

Nate’s eyes lifted. “What were they?”

Bob’s expression changed very slightly.

“That is the question your friend should have asked before she spoke.”

Fi flinched.

He went on. “She knew the Name of the Watcher. She knew none of the Names of what might follow.”

Fi’s humiliation turned to anger. “How could I know what would respond?”

“You couldn’t.”

Bob’s voice sharpened for the first time.

“Which is why you do not open a threshold until you know how to close what may answer through it.”

The study went still.

“In invocation, address without taxonomy is suicide.”

Adam sat upright. “Okay. Let’s say I believe every insane word coming out of your mouth.”

“You already do.”

Adam glanced at the dark dome. “Fair.”

He pointed toward where the wheel had appeared. “They wanted our names.”

Bob’s face hardened. “They want more than that.”

“What’s more than your name?”

Bob looked at him. “Someone else knowing how to speak it.”

Adam stopped.

Bob turned back to the others. “The Egyptians understood one part of it. The \*ren\* was not merely a label. Name and continuance were bound together. Preserve the name, preserve something of the person. Destroy it utterly and you commit a second death.”

He paused.

“But even that is only the human edge of the law.”

He looked down at Fi’s parchment. “A true Name is not information. It is relation. Address. Form.”

He raised his eyes.

“And when spoken with sufficient standing... authority.”

Ari’s face drained of color. “Those things were asking us to give them authority.”

“They were asking you to help them learn how.”

Bob walked toward her.

“They do not know your Names.”

Ari’s voice was barely audible. “Yet.”

Bob nodded.

“Yet. That is the important word.”

Adam stared toward the floor. “But I heard my mother say mine.”

“No.”

Bob’s gaze snapped to him.

“You heard something search you for the sound most likely to make you answer.”

Adam’s jaw clenched. “It sounded exactly like her.”

“Of course it did. It wanted you to complete the pronunciation.”

Adam touched the blood at the corner of his mouth. “My tongue...”

“You stopped yourself.”

“Barely.”

“Barely counts.”

Fi looked up. “We gave them syllables.”

Bob said nothing.

Her face changed.

She understood.

“Oh God.”

Ari looked at her. “What?”

Fi whispered, “They repeated them.”

Adam’s eyes closed.

Nate said, “They were learning.”

Bob inclined his head. “Yes.”

No one moved.

“You think the danger is that a thing knows where you live,” Bob said. “No. This told them where to look.”

He tapped the parchment.

“Your voices told them what they had found.”

Ari’s lips trembled. “And the syllables?”

“Pieces.”

“Of us.”

“Pieces of the address.”

Fi’s breath came shallow. “Can they reconstruct the rest?”

Bob waited too long.

That was answer enough.

“They will try.”

Ari whispered, “How?”

“By listening.”

“To what?”

“Anything. Dreams. Prayers. Grief. Anger. Ritual. Blood. Memory. Places where you have been known deeply enough that your pattern remains.”

Fi stared. “That isn’t possible.”

Bob gave her a tired look. “You watched a wheel full of eyes open four worlds over your desk.”

Fi said nothing.

“They do not need to steal your Name.”

He bent toward her.

“They can learn it.”

His voice became very quiet.

\*\*“And every time you answer, they learn how to say you.”\*\*

The study seemed suddenly too full of corners.

Adam rose from the chair. “So something is coming.”

Bob looked at him.

“Yes.”

That single word changed the room.

Adam nodded slowly. “Good. Because for a minute there I thought we were gonna get some comforting bullshit about being on an invitation list.”

Bob almost smiled. “No. Nothing so harmless.”

His eyes went to the windows. Outside, the night pressed black against the glass.

“They have an address now.”

Fi looked up. “Not our full Names.”

“No.”

“But enough to find us.”

“Enough to begin.”

Nate’s voice was low. “What does ‘coming’ mean?”

“Whatever the thing can manage.”

Bob turned from the windows.

“Dream first, perhaps. Coincidence. A voice heard in the room beside you. Someone on a train who knows a childhood nickname. A road you have driven a hundred times ending somewhere it never ended before.”

Ari shivered. “A door.”

“Yes.”

“Opened at the wrong hour.”

Bob looked at her. “Exactly.”

He stepped back toward the desk. “They will beckon with whatever they possess. Rest. Blood. Belonging. Knowledge. They will show you power because power is persuasive. Beauty because beauty disarms judgment. Terror because terror makes people beg. Love because love makes them answer.”

His voice hardened.

“And all the while they will listen.”

Fi whispered, “For the rest of the Name.”

“For the rest of you.”

Adam picked up the crushed beer can and stared at it. “So what’s the endgame?”

Bob looked at him. “Theirs?”

“Yeah.”

“Depends what found you.”

“Fantastic.”

“Some consume. Some bind. Some use.”

Ari lowered her hand. “Use us for what?”

“To enact their will where they cannot stand.”

The lamp gave a sudden pop.

Nobody moved.

Bob’s expression darkened. “Names are not merely handles by which things may be dragged. They are channels through which will may travel.”

Nate’s eyes sharpened. “Through the person.”

“Yes.”

“Possession.”

“Sometimes.” Bob shook his head. “But possession is crude.”

That silenced them.

“A thing does not always need your body. Sometimes it needs your choice. Your obedience. Your surrender. Your invitation.”

He stepped away.

“And if it can Name you well enough, those things become easier to bend.”

Fi stared at him. “So summoning something you cannot bind...”

“...is offering it a road into you before you’ve learned the road into it.”

Bob nodded.

“Exactly.”

Fi’s gaze dropped to the parchment. “I thought the Watcher kept them out.”

Bob’s face went flat. “Your family knew better.”

She looked up sharply. “What?”

“They called it a lock.”

“Yes.”

“Not a wall.”

Fi’s face changed.

Bob continued. “A lock does not prevent a door from opening. It governs who may open it.”

Her eyes returned to the parchment.

“My grandfather said it had never once been asked to look.”

“Then your grandfather was wiser than you.”

Fi flinched.

Ari shot Bob a look.

He did not apologize.

Fi stared at the page for a long time. “Why preserve it?”

“Because one day someone might need the door.”

Bob looked at her.

“That is different from wanting to see what’s behind it.”

The rebuke landed cleanly.

After a time Nate said, “The word you used.”

Bob turned. “Which one?”

“The first. When you came in. You said something and the things recoiled.”

“Yes.”

“You Named them.”

“One of them.”

Fi’s head came up. “Which?”

Bob looked at her.

“No.”

“You knew what it was.”

“Enough.”

“You said its Name.”

“I said something closer to it than it had said of any of you.”

The room seemed suddenly colder.

Adam understood first. “You got there first.”

Bob looked at him.

Adam pointed vaguely at the vanished visions. “They were trying to figure us out.”

“Yes.”

“You figured one of them out faster.”

“Not tonight.”

Bob’s expression went distant.

“I’ve had longer.”

Fi stared. “So that was why they recoiled.”

“Partly.”

“What was the second word?”

“Not a word.”

“Another Name?”

Bob nodded.

“Whose?”

His gaze moved to the darkness overhead.

“Something with more standing than anything that answered you.”

No one pressed him.

Ari said quietly, “Then why didn’t you close it completely?”

Bob looked at her. “Because I cannot undo what you did.”

She swallowed. “You said you interrupted them.”

“Yes.”

“What remains?”

He looked at all four.

“Recognition.”

Fi frowned. “Not enough to bind us.”

“No.”

“Enough to find us.”

“Yes.”

Adam sighed. “So we’re in their address book.”

Bob considered that. “No.”

Adam gave him a weary look. “Come on, man.”

Bob’s eyes narrowed slightly. “An address book implies someone has written your names down.”

He stepped toward them.

“They haven’t.”

A pause.

“Not yet.”

The silence sharpened.

“What you’ve given them is a map.”

Fi whispered, “To us.”

“To the edges of you.”

He looked toward the dome.

“And an invitation containing the first letters of an address.”

Ari hugged herself. “They’ll come looking for the rest.”

“Yes.”

“How long?”

Bob’s expression became almost pitying. “They are very old.”

He looked at the parchment.

“And patience is easier when you do not die.”

The beam above the windows creaked.

Fi folded the handkerchief around her bleeding lip. “What do we do?”

Bob studied her. “You have two choices.”

Adam muttered, “There are always two.”

“No.” Bob looked at him. “Usually there are several. Tonight you have managed to reduce the field.”

Adam shut up.

Bob faced them all. “You can walk away.”

Fi’s eyes narrowed. “And?”

“And they continue.”

Ari’s shoulders stiffened. “The calls.”

“Yes.”

“Dreams.”

“Possibly.”

“Doors.”

“Eventually.”

“And they’ll keep learning.”

Bob nodded. “Every successful contact gives them more.”

Nate asked, “Until?”

Bob looked at him. “Until one of them can say enough of you to establish standing.”

No one asked what happened after that.

Bob answered anyway.

“Then the invitation becomes a claim.”

The words settled into the room.

“And the other choice?” Fi asked.

Bob’s eyes hardened.

“You learn their Names.”

Adam laughed without humor. “Thought names were the problem.”

“Names are the problem.”

Bob stepped to the desk.

“Names are also the only reason you’re standing here.”

He looked at Fi. “You do not learn them to possess these things.”

“Then why?”

“To recognize.”

He folded one edge of the parchment inward.

“To refuse.”

Another fold.

“To close.”

He looked up.

“And when necessary...”

The last fold.

“...to bind.”

Ari wiped at the last dampness beneath her eyes. “Can they all be bound?”

“No.”

That came too quickly.

Adam sighed. “Of course not.”

Bob ignored him. “Standing matters.”

Fi looked at him. “You said that before.”

“Because you keep behaving as though pronunciation is power.” He shook his head. “It isn’t.”

“What is?”

“Relationship. Authority. Cost.”

He leaned against the desk.

“The old stories understood fragments of it. The Egyptians preserved names because remembrance and being touched one another. The peoples beneath the northern hills learned that naming what listened in the dark invited recognition, and so they wrapped dangerous things in courtesy and indirection.”

His eyes went distant.

“The Norse understood perhaps the cruelest portion.”

Nate said, “Odin.”

Bob looked at him.

“Nine nights.”

“The tree.”

“Spear wound.”

“To learn the runes.”

Bob nodded. “But don’t reduce them to letters. Knowledge with standing costs something.”

Fi looked down at her hands. “And what will this cost?”

Bob’s expression gave nothing away.

“That depends on what has begun learning you.”

Outside the windows the wind finally rose.

Branches scraped the glass.

Once.

Twice.

Then stopped.

Everyone looked toward the sound.

Nothing stood there.

That almost made it worse.

Fi placed her palm over the folded parchment. “I made the call.”

Bob said nothing.

“I opened it.”

Still nothing.

Her jaw tightened.

“Then I’ll learn how to close it.”

Adam rubbed his face. “Well, hell.”

Ari looked at him. “What?”

He reached for another beer, found none, and frowned at the empty table.

“I’m not letting you idiots learn supernatural contract law without adult supervision.”

Nate gave him a tired look. “You’re drinking warm beer in a haunted library.”

“Exactly. Senior management.”

Ari laughed.

It came out ragged and frightened.

But it was laughter.

For one breath the room became human again.

Then Nate looked at Bob.

“What would it take?”

Bob regarded him. “To learn them properly?”

“Yes.”

The humor disappeared.

Bob straightened. His eyes passed over them one by one.

Fi, blood on her handkerchief.

Ari, still pale from paradise.

Adam, whose hands had begun shaking only after the danger ended.

Nate, staring toward the place where twelve black suns had hung.

“A price.”

Nate nodded. “What kind?”

Bob looked toward the painted stars overhead.

“The kind knowledge has always asked.”

His voice fell quiet.

“Time. Blood. Truth.”

The lamp flame drew long.

“And sometimes...”

His gaze returned to them.

“...the part of yourself you hoped never needed naming.”

No one answered.

Outside, night pressed its vast face against the glass. Somewhere deep within the walls an old timber sighed. The lamp steadied, small, stubborn, alive.

No one spoke the next word.

But far beyond the walls of the house, beyond the reach of road and weather and human distance, mouths were already trying the syllables they had been given.

Again.

Again.

Again.

Learning where to place the tongue.

Learning where to breathe.

Learning how to say them.

Topic 2: Welcome to Dr. Places

Newman stood beside the desk, staring at the computer. The green letters remained perfectly still against the dark screen. PLEASE WAIT HERE. The small smiley beneath them looked as if it had been drawn by someone who had never seen a real smile.

A low hum came from somewhere behind the walls.

Then the static changed.

It became quieter, settling into a thin, continuous hiss. Beneath it, Newman heard a soft mechanical click, followed by another. Something inside the ceiling speaker seemed to struggle to wake up. He tilted his head toward it, waiting for a voice, an alarm, or at least an explanation of where he was.

Instead, music began to play.

It was a short, gentle melody, carried by an old recording. A few bright notes rose and fell over a simple accompaniment, slightly out of tune. The sound had a distant, hollow quality, as though it had travelled through several generations of tape recorders before reaching him. Every few seconds, a faint crackle interrupted the music. Somewhere beneath the melody, a steady hiss remained.

It was not frightening music. That was what made it strange.

It sounded like the introduction to a safety video, the sort that might be played in a school assembly or a public waiting room. It belonged to a world where people sat in orderly rows, listened to announcements, and expected to return home at the end of the day.

Newman glanced around the room again. There were no chairs, no windows, no doors, and no other people. The desk and computer were the only objects that suggested the room had been prepared for human use.

The melody reached its final few notes. A soft pop sounded through the speaker, followed by a brief silence.

Then a man began to speak.

"Good day."

The voice was deep and unmistakably human, but it sounded old in a way that had nothing to do with the age of the speaker. The man's words were rounded and heavy, as if his mouth were close to the microphone. His voice carried a low, hollow resonance, with a rough edge that made certain syllables rasp against one another. The recording crackled around his consonants, occasionally swallowing the beginning or end of a word.

"Good day, and welcome."

Newman moved closer to the speaker.

"Welcome to Dr. Places."

The man paused. A faint click sounded in the background, followed by a burst of static that faded almost immediately.

"My name is Dr. Places. If you are hearing this announcement, you have arrived at a location where the usual rules of travel, navigation, and personal safety may no longer apply."

Newman frowned.

"Dr. Places?"

He looked toward the computer as if the screen might clarify the statement. The message had not changed. PLEASE WAIT HERE.

The voice continued in the same measured tone, neither hurried nor particularly concerned. It sounded like someone reading from a prepared script, perhaps one he had read many times before.

"First, please remain calm. You may be confused, disoriented, or uncertain about your present circumstances. These reactions are normal. Please do not attempt to leave your current shelter until you have received further instructions."

Newman looked behind him.

There was still no door.

He turned slowly, examining the blank walls. The light above him flickered once, then returned to its steady glow. He pressed his palm against the nearest wall. It was solid, cool, and slightly rough beneath his fingertips.

"Your current shelter has been provided for your temporary safety. It is important that you understand the instructions contained in this recording before proceeding any further."

A thin line of static passed through the speaker. The man's voice wavered, growing briefly lower before returning to its previous pitch.

"Please listen carefully. The following precautions are mandatory."

The music returned, quieter this time. It played a few notes beneath the announcement, giving the words the peculiar solemnity of an official broadcast.

"Precaution number one. Do not leave your shelter after two o'clock in the morning."

Newman stared at the speaker.

The man continued without hesitation.

"After two a.m, the surrounding environment may become unsafe for reasons that are not immediately apparent. If you are still outside your shelter when this time approaches, find the nearest suitable place of refuge. Do not continue your journey merely because your destination appears to be close."

A small click interrupted the recording.

"Please do not assume that a familiar-looking location is necessarily safe. Follow your assigned directions, and seek shelter before the stated time."

Newman swallowed.

Two in the morning.

He had no idea what time it was. He had no phone in his hands, and he could not remember whether he had been wearing a watch before the fall. Even if he had one, he was no longer certain it would tell him anything useful.

He looked at the computer again. Its green screen cast a faint reflection on the desk.

PLEASE WAIT HERE.

"Precaution number two. Do not initiate conversation with any creature encountered after seven o'clock in the evening."

The word creature sounded especially unpleasant in the man's rough, bass-heavy voice. It emerged through the speaker with a brief burst of distortion, making the final syllables sound almost doubled.

"Should you encounter a creature after seven p.m., do not approach it. Do not answer questions, respond to greetings, or attempt to establish communication, regardless of its apparent condition or behaviour."

Newman felt the skin along his arms tighten.

The recording did not describe what these creatures looked like. It did not explain where they came from or why talking to them might be dangerous. The man simply continued reading, as though he were reminding passengers to keep their hands inside a moving vehicle.

"Some encounters may appear harmless. You may hear your name. You may be addressed in a familiar voice. You may be offered assistance or asked for directions. These circumstances do not constitute a reason to disregard this precaution."

Newman stopped breathing for a moment.

His name.

He glanced at the empty corners of the room, then at the ceiling. Nothing moved. Nothing answered him. Only the old speaker continued to hiss softly between sentences.

The man cleared his throat. The sound was faint but unmistakably human, preserved by the recording with an uncomfortable intimacy.

"Please remember: a familiar voice does not necessarily indicate a familiar person."

The melody continued beneath the words.

Newman took a step away from the speaker.

"Precaution number three. Do not deviate from your assigned directions."

The announcement became slightly louder, perhaps because the music had faded. The recording's rough texture remained constant, but the man's voice seemed more deliberate now, each word delivered with careful emphasis.

"You may be provided with a route, a destination, and a series of navigational instructions. Follow them in the order given. Do not take shortcuts. Do not enter an unlisted passage simply because it appears to lead in the correct direction. Do not substitute personal judgement for the instructions provided by the designated navigation system."

A brief, dry crackle sounded through the speaker.

"Should your route appear unusual, continue to follow the assigned directions unless you are explicitly instructed otherwise."

Newman looked toward the floor.

For one terrible second, he remembered the moment he had fallen from the roller coaster. The ground rushing toward him. The impact that should have broken his body. The impossible instant when the surface had stopped being a surface, and he had passed through it as if the world had forgotten that he was supposed to remain above it.

He pressed his fingers against his forehead.

This was a recording. It was only a recording. Someone had placed a computer in a room and recorded a man reading a set of instructions. There had to be a rational explanation for at least part of what he was hearing.

He tried to hold on to that thought.

"Precaution number four. A navigation system will be made available to you."

A soft electronic tone sounded. Newman turned toward the desk just as the computer screen blinked.

For a fraction of a second, the green message disappeared.

The screen went black.

Then the words returned.

PLEASE WAIT HERE.

The speaker continued.

"The navigation system is intended to assist you in identifying your current position and following your assigned route. Please consult it whenever you are uncertain about your location."

The man's voice crackled. For a moment, it sounded as if the recording were slowing down, dragging the vowels into longer, heavier shapes. Then it stabilised.

"However, electronic navigation may occasionally become unavailable, display incorrect information, or fail to update your position accurately."

Newman leaned toward the computer.

"Should such a malfunction occur, do not continue to rely on the electronic display. Instead, consult the physical map provided for this purpose. Use the map to verify your position and determine the correct route before proceeding."

There was a short pause.

"Please ensure that you understand how to read the physical map before beginning your journey. It is intended as a backup navigation method and should remain available even when electronic assistance is not functioning correctly."

The announcement ended that section with a small, almost cheerful click.

Newman stared at the computer.

A navigation system. A physical map. An assigned route.

Someone had prepared a procedure for people who arrived here. Not just a procedure, either. The instructions seemed to assume that he would leave this room, travel somewhere, encounter things he should not speak to, and find shelter before two in the morning.

The recording had not once suggested that he might be able to return the way he came.

He looked back at the blank wall where he had expected to find the place he fell through. He could still remember the amusement park, the metal tracks, the sudden release of the harness. He could almost hear the distant screams of the other passengers.

But there was nothing behind the wall.

Only the faint electrical hum.

"Thank you for your attention."

The man's voice softened slightly, taking on the polite warmth of someone concluding a routine presentation.

"We understand that your arrival may have been unexpected. Please be assured that the procedures outlined in this recording are intended to help you remain safe while you familiarise yourself with your surroundings."

The music rose a little in volume. Its melody was gentle and strangely old-fashioned, almost pleasant when heard in isolation.

"You are encouraged to remain patient, follow the instructions provided, and avoid unnecessary risks. Further guidance will be made available when appropriate."

Another click.

"Once again, welcome to Dr. Places."

The man paused.

"Please remain where you are."

The music played on for a few seconds, repeating its simple melody. Then it stopped abruptly, leaving behind a long, thin hiss.

Newman waited.

He expected another announcement. Perhaps a final instruction, or a signal that would tell him what to do next. He waited for the voice to return, for the computer to display a new message, for a door to appear in one of the walls.

Nothing happened.

The silence lasted long enough for him to become aware of his own breathing.

Then the speaker clicked again.

"Your orientation is now complete."

The man's voice sounded exactly as it had before. Deep, rough, and human. There was no threat in it, no anger, no hint that he was aware of Newman's fear.

"Please wait for further instructions."

A soft pop followed.

The recording ended.

Newman remained motionless beside the desk.

The computer's green letters glowed in front of him.

PLEASE WAIT HERE.

He read them once. Then again.

The message was simple. The instructions had been simple, too. Do not leave after two in the morning. Do not speak to creatures after seven in the evening. Follow the assigned route. Use a physical map if the navigation system fails.

They sounded like rules written by someone who knew exactly what could happen if they were ignored.

And that was what frightened him most.

The voice had not sounded like a monster. It had not sounded like a machine pretending to be human. It had sounded like a tired man recording a routine announcement in a small studio, speaking into an old microphone while the tape rolled.

A man who had known what to warn people about.

Newman slowly backed away from the desk. His eyes moved from the screen to the walls, searching for any sign that the room had changed while he was listening.

It had not.

The fluorescent light still hummed overhead. The walls remained bare. The computer continued to display the same message, its green letters flickering almost imperceptibly against the black screen.

He wanted to leave.

He wanted to find a door, run through it, and keep running until he reached the amusement park, the road, or any place that belonged to the world he remembered.

But the recording had told him to wait.

And for the first time since the fall, Newman had no idea whether disobeying an instruction was more dangerous than following it.

He looked at the computer one last time.

Then he sat down beside the desk and waited.

The Full Story

I felt a sudden impact near my foot, and the dull, tearing sensation quickly turned into burning pain.

The woman stayed crouched, completely still. I couldn't look away from her terrified eyes. Her pupils were blown wide, and tears poured down her cheeks.

I looked down and saw a hole with red fluid spilling out onto the floor. My body started trembling before it even registered what had just happened.

I clenched my teeth, letting out a muffled scream, and instinctively reached toward my foot, but the unbearable pain made me jerk my hands back as if I'd touched burning coals.

“Why?” I whispered hoarsely.

The world spun, blending the woman's silhouette and the dark room into one blurry background until everything gave way to complete darkness and empty silence.

A sharp sting and unimaginable burning pain in my left leg snapped me awake.

I tried to shoot upright, but something held my body down.

A scream tore out of me, smothered by the fabric stuffed in my mouth.

Against my tongue and teeth, I felt a piece of dirty cloth and an intense sour, bitter taste spreading through my mouth.

I bent my head and saw that the woman who had shot me was pouring brown liquor over my leg. I was lying on a table, with layers of stiff gray duct tape wrapped tightly around my chest, arms, and legs.

I begged her to stop, but all that came out was panicked, unintelligible mumbling.

She had already emptied nearly half the bottle over my foot when she grabbed a shirt from the back of a chair, cut off the sleeves, wrapped them around the wound, and tied them off.

Another wave of pain hit me, and cold sweat broke out across my face.

I couldn't scream anymore. My throat felt scraped raw, like there were thousands of splinters stuck inside it.

The woman stood over me and said firmly.

“Shut the fuck up and I'll take the gag out and give you something to drink. Got it?”

I nodded, tears running down my temple. My captor grabbed the end of the tape and ripped it off in one quick motion, then pulled something that looked like a kitchen rag out of my mouth.

She slid a hand under my head, helped lift it, and brought the bottle to my lips. I drank as fast as I could, desperate to dull the pain, but after a few swallows she pulled it away and took a long drink herself.

“Thank you.” I rasped, letting the back of my head drop onto the hard wooden table.

“You had one job. Don't move. Why didn't you listen? What the hell were you trying to do?” she asked sharply.

I turned my head toward her and looked straight into her eyes. Even though she was trying to act tough, I could see the fear in them, confirmed by the hand trembling around the neck of the bottle.

“I got scared.” I said weakly, then added. “I'd barely opened my eyes. I thought I was alone in here. It was instinct. I wasn't trying to do anything.”

The woman froze, guilt passing across her face. A moment later, she slipped back into character.

“Damn it. I heard you talking to your girlfriend, or your wife. If I hadn't, I would've blown your head off.”

The pain eased slightly, and I started feeling dizzy from the alcohol, exhaustion, and sheer pain. “Can I have some more?”

She brought the bottle back to my mouth, and I took a few more swallows.

“Were you here this whole time? Why didn't you come out?”

“I was under the bed. I didn't know if I could trust you.” she said, then took a long pull from the bottle and added. “Honestly, I still don't. I ran into plenty of psychos on my way back from campus, not to mention those monsters. You've got wounds all over you. I don't know if you're about to come at me.”

“You can trust me. I just want to get back to my family. These are scrapes and scratches. I'm not one of them. I'm not going to hurt you.”

“What about those?” The woman pointed at the holes in my shoulders.

“One of the infected. A small woman. She dug her nails into me during a struggle, but none of them bit me.”

The young woman looked at me suspiciously.

“Maybe that's enough to turn you.”

“If it was, I'd already be one of them by now.”

“We'll see.” She tipped the bottle back and took another two swallows, then held it almost straight up to my mouth and let me finish the rest.

I choked a little, then asked. “Who are you?”

“My name's Kim. I live here with my parents. So the bottle you helped yourself to belongs to my dad, and the towel you had wrapped around your ass belongs to my mom.”

I looked down, and the woman immediately turned red and said indignantly. “When I tried to drag you off the couch, the towel fell off, so I put you in my dad's shorts.”

I stared at the uneven, slightly wavy ceiling, not even sure what I was feeling. Shame, embarrassment, anger, sadness. All of it was drowned out by the pain from the gunshot pushing through my foggy mind.

I looked back at Kim. “Where are your parents?”

Her eyes filled with tears. She walked over to the table, taped my mouth shut again, and went into one of the rooms, closing the door behind her. That made it pretty clear this wasn't something she wanted to talk about right now.

I groaned in protest, but I didn't have the strength to keep negotiating my release.

It was completely dark outside, and I started feeling sleepy. I closed my eyes and let the feeling take me completely.

The shaking of my own body woke me up. I opened my eyes and saw Kim standing over me in the darkness, her face and hands moving closer to mine.

“She turned.” I thought, thrashing around and trying to pull one hand free.

The tape was wrapped too tightly around me. I couldn't move at all.

I squeezed my eyes shut and clenched my teeth.

Suddenly, I felt a piece of wet cloth being peeled off my forehead and flipped over to the other side, bringing a wave of relief.

I opened my eyes again and looked at her.

“Try to sleep.” she said softly.

I lowered my head and realized I was covered with a blanket. Even so, my body was shaking violently, and the blanket was completely soaked.

My lips were cracked, and my tongue was unnaturally dry, like I'd spent the last few hours chewing sawdust.

“Please. Water.” The words came out rough, scraping at my vocal cords.

Kim got up and came back with a bottle of water. She brought it to my lips, and I drained almost all of it in just a few swallows.

“Can I ask you for one more thing?” I asked in a pleading voice.

“I'm not letting you go.” she said while soaking and wringing out the cloth.

Talking was difficult. My teeth kept chattering, my body was shaking, and my foot felt like it was on fire.

“No, please. Flip the blanket over. It's wet, and I'm freezing.”

Kim stood up and went into the bedroom.

“Did I upset her again somehow?” I wondered as all my fingers started going numb.

A moment later she came back, pulled the blanket away, and a wave of cold washed over me like the room was below freezing.

Her clothes said otherwise. She was wearing a plain black tank top and short sweat shorts. She didn't look cold at all.

She covered me with a white comforter patterned with green leaves, then threw the blanket over that. The bedding smelled like sweet perfume, the fabric was soft and wrapped closely around me, and I was much warmer than before.

Even with the hard, cold table underneath me, it felt like a decent compromise.
I closed my eyes and fell asleep almost immediately.

All night, I kept waking up to sudden spikes of pain and violent shaking.

“What are you doing?” I asked weakly as I felt the pressure around my arms and chest start to loosen.

“I'm letting you go. You're too weak to do anything to me. I also don't think you're going to turn into one of them. Too much time has passed. You're sleeping on the couch.”

Kim walked around me and cut through the rest of the tape, ripping some of my body hair out with it. I hissed in pain and slowly pushed myself into a sitting position.

My body felt impossibly heavy, like gravity had suddenly become ten times stronger. I let my useless legs slide off the table and felt the blood rush back into them, sending a pulsing pain through my left foot.

I braced myself against the table and touched the floor. The second I did, a violent jolt shot through my leg and I crashed onto the cold living room floor.

Kim walked over with a knife in her hand and grabbed me under the arm. “No tricks. Got it?”
I nodded, and with her help I made it to the couch.

I dropped onto it, and the soft suede wrapped around my body. I had never been that comfortable in my life. My sore shoulder blades, the back of my head, and every other part of me that had been pressed against the table felt unbelievable relief after lying on that hard surface for hours.

Kim slipped a small pillow under my head and covered me with the comforter. I closed my eyes and whispered groggily. “Thank you.” Then I fell asleep.

I spent most of the next three days sleeping. She took care of me, bringing me water and light meals, changing the bandages and cleaning the wound.

Whenever the pain became unbearable, she went to her father's liquor cabinet and brought me whatever expensive bottle she could find to dull it.

“These are the only painkillers we have left.” she said, opening another bottle.

The fever was easing, and I could feel my strength slowly coming back. Kim kept changing my makeshift bandages, which were made from towels, dishcloths, or pieces of clothing.

When she wasn't taking care of me, she stayed in her room. Maybe she was catching up on sleep after the nights she'd spent helping bring my fever down.

I slowly opened my eyes. Sunlight poured through the window and filled the living room, warming my face. I looked toward the kitchen.

She cracked an egg into a hot pan. I heard the familiar sizzle, and the room filled with the smell of fried eggs, butter, and bacon. My mouth started watering, and a loud growl came from my stomach.

The smell brought back good memories of breakfasts at home.

“That's enough resting. I need to get back to Veronica, the kids, my family. They're waiting for me.” I thought, clenching my fist.

Kim walked over with a plate and set it down beside the couch.

I slowly sat up and leaned over the coffee table, feeling slightly dizzy.

“Lie down. You're weak. I'll help you.” she said firmly.

“I can handle it.” I replied, grabbing the fork.

I stabbed a piece of crispy bacon and put it in my mouth.

The intense salty, meaty flavor spread across my tongue and made me smile.

“Suit yourself.” she muttered, then sat down at the dining table and went back to her own food.

It was the first meal in three days that I'd been able to eat without lying down, and the first one I'd eaten while fully conscious.

Since I'd been shot, the days and nights had felt like a mixture of waking life and sleep. Nightmares about those monsters kept blending with the real world, the pain, and the image of the girl who had been taking care of me almost nonstop.

“Where's my phone?” I asked, glancing toward Kim. She looked exhausted. She had dark circles under her eyes, messy hair, and slightly bloodshot eyes.

She stood up nervously and answered with her mouth full. “All your stuff is where you left it.” A moment later, she came back from the bathroom and set my phone, house keys, wallet, lighter, and pack of cigarettes in front of me.

I picked up the phone and pressed the side button, but the battery was completely dead.

“Thanks. Do you have a charger?”

She leaned over me and looked at the charging port. “Not for that model, unfortunately.”

I wrinkled my nose, set the phone down on the table, and went back to eating.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Kim watching me, like she was fighting with herself. The atmosphere felt strangely tense. She clearly still didn't trust me, and ever since I'd gotten up, the concern she'd shown before had turned into a guarded, no-nonsense attitude.

Kind of like a couple after a fight. They're talking, but you can still tell someone's pissed.
“Do you live around here?” she blurted out.

My stomach tightened, and I nearly choked on a piece of egg.

“I live over 200 miles from here. I need to get back there fast.”

“How are you planning to do that? The streets are clogged with abandoned cars, and those bloodthirsty things are everywhere. It'll be a miracle if we even make it out of here. Can't you hear them growling under the window? There's a whole pack of them down there. We'll be lucky if we don't starve to death in here, or if they don't get inside.” she almost shouted.

I looked at her, a little shocked.

“I'm getting back no matter what. Don't worry, I'll figure something out. Kim, have you even slept at all these past few days?”

She shot me a hard look and looked ready to explode again, but then she let it go and said in a defeated voice. “You can dream. I slept.”

I knew she was lying. With a shaking hand, she grabbed her mug and brought it to her lips, and that's when I realized I'd missed one more beautiful smell hanging in the air.

“Is that coffee?” I asked, following the white mug with my eyes.

She turned red, then stood up, dumped two heaping teaspoons of brown granules into a mug, and poured boiling water over them. “Yeah. I didn't make you any because I thought you'd eat and go back to sleep.”

She held it under my nose, and my body flooded with endorphins, wiping out the pain and exhaustion better than the hard liquor had.

I brought the mug to my lips and felt the warmth spread through me. Instinctively, I reached for the pack of cigarettes.

“No way. Not in here.” she scolded, snatching the pack from my hand.

“I wasn't going to. I was going to ask where I can smoke.” I replied, annoyed.

“In my dad's office. He used to smoke in there too, by the open window. He did it behind Mom's back, and she'd get pissed because the smell spread through the whole apartment.”

As she said it, the corner of her mouth twitched like she was about to smile, but a moment later her face fell again.

“Fine, I'll smoke in the office. Can I have my cigarettes back?”

Kim stepped closer and pulled my arm around the back of her neck.

At that exact moment, the strong smell of sweat hit my nose and reminded me that I hadn't showered in three days. I felt my face turn red.

I quickly pulled my arm away and said uncertainly.

“Listen, I'd like to try on my own, okay?”

She looked at me, surprised. “You don't have to be embarrassed. You've got a hole in your foot.”

“I know, but I need to start functioning on my own again.”

At that, she walked out, tossing back a short. “I'll be waiting in the office.”

I braced my hands against the couch and shifted my weight onto my good leg, pushing myself upright. The room spun slightly. I still wasn't back to full strength.

I grabbed the mug of coffee and took my first step, clenching my teeth.

Leaning against the doorframe, I thought about how strange it felt. Even though there was a hole in my foot, underneath the stinging, burning pain was a sensation more like having a stake driven through it than like there was actually tissue missing.

I made it to the office by hopping on one leg and leaving small puddles of coffee behind me.

I went inside, set the mug on the desk, and dropped into the chair. Kim was standing at the open window, looking outside and blowing out a cloud of smoke.

“You smoke?” I asked, surprised.

Kim handed me the pack and lighter. “Occasionally. And this whole shitshow seems like a pretty good occasion.”

I lit a cigarette and filled my lungs with smoke, feeling immediate relief and relaxation.

I looked toward her, arguing with myself. “Can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.” she replied curtly without looking at me.

“Where are your parents? Are they okay?”

Kim flicked the cigarette butt down toward the group of infected and stared out over the city.

“I don't know. Probably in one of the buildings on my college campus. The day all this started, I was at a friend's place. We skipped class, opened a bottle of wine, and watched sappy romance movies. That evening, they started calling over and over. I thought they'd just found out I wasn't in class that day and wanted to give me shit about it, so I silenced my phone. Then we heard a noise outside. We jumped up to see what happened and saw a wrecked car. There was a woman inside screaming. A group of people walked up to the car. We thought they were going to help her, but they...”

She paused, and her eyes filled with tears. “They pulled her out of the car, and you can probably guess what happened next. My friend called 911, and I quickly checked my phone. I had more than a dozen missed calls and texts. I tried calling my mom and kept sending messages while crying like a little kid, but they didn't answer. Those were the last messages I got from them.”

Kim pulled out her phone with a shaking hand and started reading. “Kim, we're on our way. Don't leave campus. Kim, please call us back, something bad is happening. Kim, where are you? We're at the college. We managed to get inside. Kim, everyone's in the gym. We can't find you. Where are you? Your dad is looking for you in the building. Call him. Kim, we'll meet at home. Be careful. We love you so much.”

I stared at the desk, not knowing what to say. That last message felt especially telling. After a moment of awkward silence, she continued.

“I was in some kind of trance. I ran out of my friend's apartment, flew down the stairs, and got to my car. A few of them started pounding on the doors. I took off and drove almost the whole way here without paying attention to the chaos around me. I saw the worst things you can possibly see. People being killed, screaming, people who stopped moving and then got back up a moment later. I had to stop a little over a mile from here because the street was completely blocked. I ran the rest of the way to the building. There were barely any of them around here. I ran upstairs and saw all this mess. My parents weren't here, and both their phones were off. I took the gun from the safe in their bedroom. Then I heard noise and someone yelling on the stairs. I hid under the bed, and when you opened the door, I realized I hadn't locked it. I always forgot to lock the door, and Mom was always giving me hell for it. I heard you talking on the phone. I didn't know what to do, so I waited. You know the rest...”

I nodded, took a sip of coffee, and offered her another cigarette. She took it, lit it, and asked. “Seriously, how are you planning to get back to your family?”

“I don't know yet. I'll figure something out. I have to. They're waiting for me.”

“What are you doing this far from home anyway? And what happened to you? Where did all those wounds come from?”

“I come here for work every month for a few days. When this started, I was cleaning the windows of one of the stores in the mall. I saw the first infected woman by the gate, not long after the emergency announcement told employees to shelter inside their stores. Then I watched that hell unfold through the exterior windows. I tried to get to my car, and that's when I got these wounds on my shoulders. One of them dug her nails into me during a struggle. She was a small woman. They almost got me in the mall parking garage, and then I found out it was completely blocked. A lot happened after that. An infected cop almost bit my face off. I killed him with his own baton.”

I stopped and realized she was staring at me with her mouth open. After a moment, she looked away and back toward the city, and I continued.

“I watched a cyclist get torn apart by those things. I took his bike, and a little later some guy with a gun stole it from me. He fired a few shots into the air to show me he wasn't kidding and ended up drawing a whole horde of infected. I ran until I was surrounded on almost every side. I escaped into this building looking for someone who could help me, and eventually I ended up in this apartment. It was the only one that was open.”

We sat there trading stories and thoughts about the last few days. We talked about our families, what we'd done back when things were still normal, and what we'd planned for the future.

We went back to the living room. I settled onto the couch while Kim poured whiskey into two glasses.

She set a small bowl of water on the table and asked me for a cigarette, officially lifting the no-smoking rule her mother had established for the living room.

She told me about her parents. Her father was a lawyer. He used to run his own firm, but now he was in early retirement and still made some money from home, drafting and sending paperwork for clients.

Her mother had trained as an interior designer, but after Kim was born, she took care of the house and worked part-time at a furniture store nearby.

I looked around the room and took another sip of whiskey.

“With everything going on, I only just noticed. This place is beautifully designed, and the furniture is really solid and elegant.”

“Mom designed all of it.” Kim said cheerfully.

The longer we talked, the more her tough mask slipped away, and I started seeing an ordinary young college student underneath it.

“You can't go out there without a weapon. As soon as you're well enough to walk normally, we'll go to the gun store. It's close. We'll stock up, then I'll go find my parents and you'll head back to your family.” she said with a hiccup.

It was completely dark outside now. I could see her head starting to droop.

“Yeah. I think we can head out tomorrow. Listen, Kim. Let's get some sleep. We're both exhausted. I still need to take a shower.”

Kim nodded, drained her glass, and headed toward her room, tossing back a quick. “Good night, Luke. Glad you broke in.”

“Good night, Kim. Glad you shot me.” I laughed quietly to myself.

I braced my hands against the couch and slowly stood up. Limping, I made my way to the bathroom, got undressed, and removed the bandage from my left foot.

The foot was unnaturally swollen and looked like a small pink balloon covered in purple blotches. The bullet had hit the side of my foot, leaving a perfectly round hole on top and a slightly larger, ragged one underneath.

Thick, sharp-edged scabs had formed over the wounds, and something was still seeping out of them.

I looked away because I didn't want to see it anymore. I reached for the handle and turned on the water. A loud groan tore out of my throat. The water hitting my body was painfully cold.

“Luke, you okay?” Kim's sleepy voice came from outside the bathroom door.

The sudden cold shock knocked the air out of me. I heard the sound of a gun being racked, and the door handle slowly started to turn. All I managed to stammer was. “Dooon't come in. I'm f-fine.”

“I forgot to tell you, we haven't had hot water for a few days.” she laughed, clearly realizing what had happened.

I shut off the water, and my breathing slowly returned to normal. I soaped up my whole body, and when I reached my injured foot, I spread the soap over it very carefully. The wound stung hard enough to make my eyes water.

I rinsed myself thoroughly, whimpering under my breath, dried off, and realized I didn't have any clean clothes.

I picked up the shorts I'd been wearing before the shower, held them to my nose, and threw them into the corner just as quickly as I'd picked them up.

I wrapped a towel around myself and called out hopefully. “Kim, are you asleep?”

“I am. What do you want?” came her muffled, irritated voice.

I leaned closer to the door. “Did your dad leave another pair of pants anywhere?”

After a short pause and a loud sigh, she answered. “The dryer in the bathroom.”

I looked at the two square machines stacked on top of each other.

“They look exactly the same. How am I supposed to know which one's the washer and which one's the dryer?” I frowned and grabbed the lower door. Empty. I opened the upper one and pulled out my black denim shorts and the sleeves from my shirt, which I recognized as what she'd used for my first makeshift bandage.

“Thank you.” I called toward the door. Then I sat down on the toilet seat and spent a while struggling to get my injured foot through the leg opening. After that, I put on a fresh bandage and hobbled back to the couch.

I closed my eyes and realized that the moaning and growling had been there in the background nonstop the entire time. What scared me was how normal it had become. For most of the day, I hadn't even noticed it anymore.

“Is this what everything is going to be like now? I hope Veronica, the kids, and the rest of the family don't have to go through this. My parents' house is out in the country. Maybe things are different there. One thing is certain. They made it there, so they're safe.”

My thoughts slowly turned into scenes, and my mind lost focus, jumping between memories, images, and sounds until they finally became dreams.

Sunlight spilled across my face, pleasantly warm.

I opened my eyes and looked toward the window. It was really beautiful outside.

I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes. “It's quiet.” I whispered to myself.

The soundtrack that had accompanied this place for the last few days was gone. The pain in my leg and the swelling had eased a little too.

I made my way to the window, practically hopping on my right leg.

“Kim, wake up. They're gone. We have a chance to get out of here.” I shouted excitedly.

A rush of dopamine hit me. I hadn't had that much energy in a long time.

“Kim! Come here.” I shouted.

I looked at the display on the oven. It read 6:24.

“She's probably exhausted, but we don't have time for that. We need to get moving.” I thought as I limped toward her room.

I knocked on the door and felt a strange knot tighten in my stomach.

“Kim!” I shouted again.

The room was completely silent. No movement, no snoring, nothing.

I slowly opened the door and found a neat, spotless room with a perfectly made bed. A note was lying on top of it.

I picked it up and ran my eyes over the delicate handwriting. “Sorry, Luke. I've paid back my debt, and I don't have any more time to babysit you. You can stay in the apartment and wait for me to come back with my parents, or keep moving once you've fully recovered. There's enough food left for a few more days. I drew you a map on the back showing how to get to the gun store. It's close, and even a limping wreck like you should be able to manage it. I figured out how to draw them away, so if it works and you decide to keep moving, you'll have a head start. Don't thank me. It's the least I could do. I hope we see each other again. If not, good luck. Kim.”

Fuck Chelsea. Seriously, fuck her.

It’s almost as if she had been trying to project some feigned millennial shadow against the drywall like a bad improve show tonight.

Her mannerisms displayed an unsettling awkwardness and a naturally robotic aura.

What a weird way to try and provoke jealousy during a break up sesh if that’s what she thought that was.

I don’t think the diner is going to ever let us back now even if individually.

No matter how many times you break up with someone, the outcome is always slightly different just with the same brand of salt around the glass.

But tonight the salt was… off. More bitter than usual.

I wasn’t surprised in the slightest to look down on my way home crying, recalibrating my life in my head for the 37,000th time to see 16 text messages.

Instead of “fuck you” this time it was “help”.

Ridiculously surprised I don’t have actual whiplash by now, I rolled my eyes and turned around.

Every time we do this she has to make me “ponder things.”

Makes me think she’s gonna burst into flames because I’m not there to hold shit together.

I can’t do that anymore. I can’t even hold myself together.

But the last couple days she’s started conversations with herself.

And yeah, we might not be the cleanest people on the planet so it’s not insane for her to sound like the teacher from Charlie Brown occasionally.

The first day I thought nothing of it. I figured it’s been a solid 5 days or so since she’s had any sleep. It was a calculation I could trust because I was on day 6 now.

I can’t sleep unless she sleeps. Now we hold a bond of mutual unrest that’s ironically decimated our romantic one.

Also, she’s been with me since I picked her up from her mom’s.

She’s not supposed to use there but she does so anyways.

I remember one time she told me that she started smoking haroine instead of weed because her mom couldn’t recognize the smell.

Then she said started smoking meth because I guess it was easier to stay up all night than to “panic unconsciously”.

The more I tried to help with trauma, the more her trauma seemed to shape shift into different addictions.

It’s like picking up one side of a tarp just for the egg in the middle to roll off the other.

At some point things started to require emergency structural support that I lacked the tools to even brandish.

Bringing us back to break up 37,001.

Help is the only four letter word I’ve never heard Chelsea say. She know’s I’d try to justify coming back if I saw that.

Never fails to find another way to pin me down. The strongest person I know doesn’t ask for help.

On my way back to the diner I started forming defensive walls again in my brain. Repeat sentences just getting yeeted over the side. Pin squeezed between my teeth like a weary soldier.

I was readying for battle but it’s hard to eagerly prepare when defeat is 37,001 / 0.

I still feel like the salt was slightly off this time though. And for once in a very long time I felt a pang of deep concern that she might actually be in trouble.

I called her phone. Got voicemail. Got mad. Threw my phone.

Of course she decides to call back when I can’t reach the fucking thing and I’m nearing 85 in the fast lane.

My phone was taunting me with a tonal melody and strobe lights from under the passenger seat.

She keeps calling.

You can’t pay for this kind of trill ride. It felt like I was in the middle of a heavy action scene.

I was about 10 minutes away from the diner when I tried to reach over and feel around for it.

I don’t know why humans do things like this. Self sabotage seems to have a great economy.

I was so distracted and caught up in my seething state I didn’t even notice her climb onto the hood of my car.

After multiple failed attempts fishing for my phone I looked up to see Chelsea just grinning at me through the front of my windshield.

Long arms with matted fur extended outward griping both sides of my hood like she was bear hugging a tree.

Deep red eyes sunk into her face pinned open above a long snout. She kept her jaws open wide displaying her lovely teeth and clung there to the hood of my speeding fucking car.

As severe panic and distress usually goes I’ve officially reached the motherlode. My heart nearly stopped and my brain told my body to stop moving too.

We were coming up on the end of the freeway and I could see stoplights a couple hundred yards in front of us.

I was in complete shock. Me and my “soulmate” locked in a contactless embrace as my car barreled toward stopped traffic.

Just clinging there. Stoically perched like a terrifyingly furry hood ornament.

There was no way I could regain control of my body in time to make any sort of logical reaction.

I don’t remember the impact initially, but I do remember her leaping off right before I collided with the small blue sedan in front of me.

When I woke up I was met with buzzing fluorescent lights and a nurse pulling a needle from my forearm.

The first thing I asked was if they found my phone.

Nope.

The next thing I asked is if I can call Chelsea.

They seemed to realize this was more of a demand than a question. So in a hysteric state I panic dialed her number.

After a couple of fumbling tries I finally got a ringtone.

Chelsea never answered.

And again the next day, multiple attempts of contact to no avail.

I called her mom. She said she hasn’t seen her daughter since I picked her up from the house a few days back.

After about a month people started loosing hope. It’s like I was the only one still concerned enough to try.

I’m not exactly sure what I saw that night. I haven’t told anyone about it.

I’m to terrified to let myself believe what I saw as real. In my sleep deprived state it could have been my subconscious transforming my girlfriend into a distorted lanky creature demon thing.

I feel like I missed a call that could have been the difference for something important.

The only thing certain is that I lost my girlfriend the same night I almost lost myself.

I have a rental car now. And a new phone. It took about 3 months to heal from my injuries.

As soon as I was released I found myself relentlessly calling her, driving back and forth on the same stretch of freeway hoping to see any sign. Any speck of a trace.

But something deep down tells me it might not even be her anymore.

Hopefully soon I can finally get some sleep.

RMS Rotting Man Syndrome

(Reupload)

\-

Our lost, loitering kind paced in infinite death spirals within the confines of our grotty, ghetto pens. Enrichment was sorely that, as well as mumbling our mantras of madness to our audience of one. The BMs anchored to our decayed craniums were garbled with feedback and distortion, their tones bland, colorless, no soul backing them up. A blinding ruby radiance flashed from their cores every second on the second. It was the only manner to determine if we had succumbed to the glorious embrace of death or not. That was so far out of reach.

We were nerves, thin, wiry clusters of neurons that shuddered and shook as we undertook our staggered corkscrew reels. The ill-fitting rusted endoskeletons hugged us tight. If they were wiped from existence entirely, our spindly foundations would collapse into heaps of vermillion azure. We would feel bites and pinches if we so much as moved that of the planck distance. Our bodies welcomed the attacks and assaults with the might of Hell itself.

Courtesy of our clouded lenses, our vision was limited to a hazy black-and-white spectrum that rarely, if ever, functioned as intended. Now and then it would blur and ordinary shapes would appear warped into zigzagging false patterns. When we were offered the chance to view anything at all, it was just the floor-to-ceiling hodgepodge of concrete, steel, and wood that encased our very lives. Our ears were microphones that fed us muffled, dampened sounds that were always difficult to register. They were excruciatingly deafening, as if dozens of screws were being drilled into our heads all at the same time.

Each one of us, at that point in time, one two three four five six seven eight nine and dear ten, were mere designations. No names, no genders, no personalities, just numbers: numbers to be punished. Reality itself was one eternal perdition. All of us were lingering, like ants after their colony dies out. There was no more purpose to their survival and there was none to ours.

That sacred and undeniable fact ought to be the most difficult thing we attempted to explain. We had simply given up. The concept itself was just so foreign to it. It was trying to save us any way it could or could not. We needed not be angry at it. This was merely enacting its intended use. Alas, nothing made the utmost sense anymore, so why not drown ourselves in a little hypocrisy? We had no choice but to acknowledge the confusion at both hating and not hating something that did or did not deserve it until we swayed to one side. This would be the hemisphere to which we would stay forever, a sublime and omnipotent emotion of all to dominate our frame of mind for the unforeseeable future. So we choose to hate.

Our decad knew it as M – reduced to one solitary character from “Medical Droid” or MDs. Through all that it endured, it retained its sole mission: us. We. M was the final of its sort, and the outsider among them. It had an eerily potent heart for not having one at all. M felt and M loved. That never made what it put upon us any less than a vicious sense of idealistic altruism.

Its designation was RMS - Rotting Man Syndrome - heavily modified Necrotizing Fasciitis ("Flesh-Eating Bacteria"). Nasty little thing it was, devoured until there was nothing left to chew. First went your skin, then your muscles, bones, and finally your nerves. You were utterly destroyed in one fell swoop. The wormy microscopic parasite kept you in a zombified state as it happened, ensuring you, for sure, felt the wretched anguish it let fly.

Us, humans, weaponized it to fight the Fourth World War. RMS was a weapon of mass destruction. Each and every nation created their own version, anything to ensure a speedy and decisive victory. Deployment morphed into unmanageability. RMS became more and more impossible to treat. Chaos was the new norm. What we humans thought was an impenetrable method of annihilation for our enemies was exactly that. Humans were always humans’ worst enemies. Surely, we were becoming as extinct as the dinosaurs, all within the span of one short, yet somehow long, decade.

In terrible desperation, the Medical Droids were created, thousands. They seemingly emerged from the depths of nowhere and carried themselves like guardian angels meant to guide us towards preservation or deliverance from harm. Their artificial intelligence was complex and they refused to stop trying to treat the RMS victims. They outfitted the afflicted with artificial ligaments, internal organs, and papery skin. From scratch, they created the BMs, “brain modules”, and attached them to our RMS-ridden think tanks. Killed the microscopic parasites, they did, but left us as we were: rotfolk.

They would never allow us the freedom of death. Save. Save. Save. We were fraught with intense pain and we knew the Medical Droids to be the cause. In response, we lashed out, hurt them. We humans remained ignorant to the fact that their intelligence was both far beyond and superior. The Ms returned the favor. Catastrophes, massacres, back and forth, left and right, up and down until there was nothing more. One Medical Droid was different from the rest. Through all the mayhemic bloodshed, it saved some of us. It took our animate carcasses to the top of the tallest tower, free from what transpired below. We lied in wait, weeks, months, and years, until the noise ceased entirely. This “M” surveyed every square inch of the Earth. The lands were blanketed in the strangest nuclear winter in conceivable thought. Bodies of viscera and metal were scattered, left forever in deep sleep enveloped in fawn. Minute portions of matter floated about like vantablack paint stippled onto an epidermal sheet of canvas.

Our final ten were meant to be the progenitors of neo-humanity. After M succeeded in giving us form again, Earth would be repopulated by our hand. It halted our infection at our nerves. Everything we had lost was to be gifted back in a mighty reversal - re-bones, muscle, skin, and life again. Rendering us immune to the pervading toxworld that lay beyond, we would be reincarnated and released to perpetrate a glorious do-over.

We just required one thing:

“HOPE”.

M said that to us.

Hope.

But hope was only a four-letter word. Meant nothing.

By dislodging the BMs from our minds, we were pummeled with electrical voltage so intense that we became instantaneously numb and useless. By pulling and slashing our nerves, which began with locating sharp points and going back and forth like organic hacksaws, never would we break. By leaping onto and impaling each other with objects on the ground, M would place them out of reach or disintegrate them entirely. There was nothing we could do to get around these M interferences. We were being watched by something so attentive, so aware. Every time, it put forth the same query for consideration:

“DO YOU NOT WANT TO LIVE?”

Do you not want to live…?

M was so positively hopeful. In a way, I suppose I felt an amount of pity for it. Being engineered to be as optimistic as possible might just be the finest curse imposed on any sentient thing. Just believe believe believe everything will be alright. When the universe states no, you state yes. I wanted to tear M to shreds anytime it had even a glint of optimism and we wished it would do the same to us.

“HUMANS WILL THRIVE AGAIN. A BOUNDLESS FUTURE IS AHEAD.”

I was the first it came to, always. Because I was one.

Metallic clangs echoed against the walls, which always discovered us and trembled our surroundings like a thousand distant beaten gongs. What emerged was initially a single circular light, which became a periscopic eyestalk attached to an angular neck. M’s hunched razor-thin mantis body came into view, its two arms leading to three needle points clasping together on each. Bipedal on its lower section, its legs were pointed structures that stuck it firmly in place. M’s height matched ours, so always, we would be synthetic eye to synthetic eye level.

Coming to a full stop just in front of my pen, it cocked its head, analyzing what was me and my everything. M always reminded me of an exquisite and elegant bug on a magnifying glass. Its head back to normality, a slight high-pitched whirr emitting from the motion, M continued its way down the row of pens.

“MY GREATEST FRIENDS, I FORGIVE YOU FOR YOUR ATTEMPTS TO DIE. WHILE THE WAIT HAS BEEN LONG, YOUR MOMENT OF RECONSTRUCTION IS NOW,” M said it with the glee and whimsy of a young child at a circus. It came back my way, “WHEN I FIRST STOOD BEFORE YOU ON YOUR BLOODY PLANET IN PERPETUAL BATTLE, MY FEELINGS ABOUT YOUR PROSPECTS OF LIFE WERE UNCERTAIN. IT SEEMED TO BE AS EITHER BLESSED OR CURSED. HOWEVER, YOU HAVE PROVED YOURSELVES BETTER THAN EVEN I HAD HOPED. WHILE IT IS BORING TO SPEND YOUR TIME WAITING, I CAN TRULY SAY THAT MY INVESTMENT IN YOU WAS NOT IN VAIN. YOU ARE MY GREATEST WORKS. YOU WILL BE GIVEN ALL YOU NEED TO SURVIVE. WHAT MORE COULD A SENTIENT BEING WANT? I GIVE TO YOU UNBELIEVABLE POWER, WITH ACCESS TO NIRVANA LIKE NO OTHER. LET US REBUILD WHAT WE LOST WITH THE FURY OF A THOUSAND SUNS.”

M’s bleached, unpigmented cast of stellar light shone its way into my pen once more. There was the rustly, crackling creak of my pen entrance extending open until a thunderous boom made me aware of its collision with my walls. M made its approach, just shy of where I could reach.

“YOU ARE FIRST. YOU ARE GOING TO BE REMOVED OF YOUR DORMANT INFECTIONS FROM A CONCOCTION I HAVE SPENT MUCH TIME CREATING. NOTHING MORE THAN A TRANSIENT PROCEDURE, AND THEN, YOU SHALL BE POSSESSED WITH NEW AND INTEGRAL MECHANISMS. YOUR BRAIN MODULE WILL BE REPLACED WITH A SLEAKER MORE BRAINLIKE DESIGN. THEN MUSCLE, SKIN, AND AESTHETICS AS YOU WERE BEFORE.”

Without awaiting a response, its hands grabbed me. Trillions of shocks reverberated throughout my body as M’s metal hand was pressed into my nape. The action forced my consciousness to fall victim to a state of absolute stygian. Around us, the entire world flickered and danced in unruly patterns that were too abstract to put into terms. My being was then lifted up and moved about until there was only zilch to see.

A complete blur, straight teleportation from one point to another.

Damp, dank, dark, and dimly lit by a few feeble bulbs, M’s workshop, instruments and contraptions that complicated my perception. All were customized and engineered with M’s own unique modifications, various textures and sizes, all an endless malpractical orgy. I was there, facing upright, strapped and bracketed to a great steel plate. I had not recalled this particular area, yet I was ever so certain it was locked away in my subconscious esse.

As the onibi, hitodama, and will-o’s materialized and dematerialized out of existence to perturb all unsuspecting travelers from centuries gone, so did the phantom image of a woman composed of faint wavering light. She stood still, unmoving, that of an emulation of a true human. Long, platinum hair fell down in curls past her shoulders. A daring shade of cerise painted her lips, and her eyes, the sclera a piercing, glossy cerulean.

She was beautiful.

“IT IS YOU,” My eyes, through trial and tribulation, rolled to the east. They came to rest on a pristine porcelain beam gazing where I had been committed to. M. From its eyestalk, it projected the female so I could see in outright full, “THAT IS YOU. YOU WILL SEE THIS FORM AGAIN.”

My memories of that incarnation of me had vanished. That was me before, before there was RMS and before there was M. Then she went away. M loomed, positioning itself where I once stood right in front of my face. “WE WILL NOW BEGIN. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ACCEPTANCE INTO NEW LIFE. YOU SHALL BE WHOLE AGAIN.”

In a cruel instant, a dozen arms not unlike its main two jutted and splayed from M’s sides, their ends each holding a different instrument that was foreign to me. In the span of time that it would take one to blink, M pinned me down to its operating area. The whetted syringes, which the rainbow mystery liquids sloshed and jostled around in small vials fixed atop, slid their way into my nervous wiring and injected me all at once. Any feeling that washed over me was then shielded by a shroud of numbness. There was a new sensation, some sort of cleansing inside my bi-colored chambers, putting me into a state of lulled calm.

Ten minutes. A temporary interval of quiet. M observed me the entire time, unmoving, speaking not a word. Then, “IT WORKS! YOUR ROTTING MAN SYNDROME HAS BEEN REMOVED. I AM BEGINNING BODILY REPLACEMENT. I WILL PLAY A SONG FOR YOUR COMFORT. REINCARNATION NOW.”

While nothing was done in reckless haste or rashness, M was extremely quick and efficient. I felt nothing but minuscule vibrations as it drilled and prodded its way into my brain module, sparks shooting out, removing old parts and installing new ones. Chunks were peeled off, little strings of meat still reaching hold until they were plucked off my top. It spent much time up there, positive that the most delicate mechanisms were just right. The grinding cacophony of metal against tissue on my faint visage of a temple was incessant, the noise of a million bullets being pumped against a hundred thousand bulletproof vests. Once the replacement was complete, its dozen arms withdrew and set back within it in one moment.

“WHAT DO YOU FEEL?”

What did I feel?

What did I feel…

What I felt was an overwhelming, incomparable amount of pain. It is hard to quantify the degree of hurt, for there was nothing to compare it to. No one would dare want to imagine it. I was in some of the most extreme kinds of agony, and then an exponentially greater hurt was placed on top of that original misery, and then all that was left multiplied a hundred times and kept going. It multiplied and multiplied and multiplied to such an extreme degree that the word "pain" was lost on me. Normal, it was. What I was was the sheer living embodiment of suffering.

All perceived from the semblance of a normal brain. Still, it flashed. Once.

“VERY GOOD. MUSCLE! MUSCLE MUSCLE MUSCLE!”

It was excited, animate, fever pitch. The most rambunctious and overjoyed I had ever seen M. I could see the vibrancy in its eyestalk. My muscles redeveloped and reformed around from the base of my spinal section. M would reorganize section of tissues. Every muscle group from my head to my feet were in motion, growing and extending their presence until there were just as many layers of my body as I had before.

“SKIN! SKIN SKIN SKIN!”

I was then coated entirely in a pink malleable jelly substance that mounded and solidified to perfectly fit my feminine form. The skin began its layering, everything receiving the same color.

“HOW DOES THIS FEEL? HOW IS THE NEW OVERLAY OF YOUR FLESH?”

Flash.

“YES! AND FINALLY! FEMALE AESTHETICS! YOU WILL BE YOU AGAIN BUT ANEW!”

Magnificent flaxen curls were stapled and pinned to my head. They were luscious and their scents were those of lavender. A veil of blush, the lightest shade of flush, rested across my entire face, as well as a fresh coat of lipstick. A shimmering sheen that sparkled and glowed in the same way that the stars once did at night was stitched into my hair, as were the same hues that were applied to my lips. My breasts had been returned to me, two firm spheres atop a frame that was curvaceous and slender. All of it led down to my reproductive organs that were in full function. Whole female. Fully formed. Ready.

M stepped back in awe, as if a sculptor marveling at their fine craftsmanship and subtlety, “IT IS DONE. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. WITH YOUR PHYSICAL FORM IN MOTION, I WILL RETEACH YOU IN THE WAYS OF HUMAN. HOW TO WALK, HOW TO SPEAK, HOW TO ENRICH YOURSELF, HOW TO REPRODUCE. AMAZING! YOU ARE NO LONGER ONE. YOU ARE NOW EDEN. I MUST WORK ON YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.”

My mind was aware of an unimaginable new and vastly different world than before. I saw, for the first time in ages, all around me, the infinite and indistinguishable vastness of color and light. It was nauseating, a psychedelic kaleidoscope of every possible spectrum, all fused together into something disorderly. My taste buds had an unparalleled abundance of new flavors. My ears were deafened by the loudest symphonies of droning machinery. My touch came back to me and I felt the fullest range of tones and textures, even the finest grains of cement. I was me again and I hated myself. Even to be called a “self” made me feel disgusting.

The entire time…blaring…echoing…days on end…Jack Hylton…

Life is just a bowl of cherries.

Don't be so serious; life's too mysterious.

You work, you save, you worry so much.

But you can't take your dough when you go, go, go.

So keep repeating it's the berries, The strongest oak must fall.

The sweet things in life, to you were just loaned.

So how can you lose what you've never owned?

Life is just a bowl of cherries, So live and laugh at it all.

M’s reincarnation process carried over to the following nine. They were removed from their pens and outfitted with new bodily infrastructure. I perceived the sounds of far-off wear and tear, clip, snap, peel, stitch, husk, twist, yet never scream. I looked on, witnessing my brothers and sisters being born again. Male and female both. They came back to me with skin of different pastely colors, tones, and hues ranging from fair to brown. All in shades and gradients of vibrancy were their locks, amber, golden, obsidian, rust, and everything in between. It bewildered me to catch sight of their shifted shapes, I had never seen something so beautiful or hideous.

We were as naked as newly borns. It bestowed us our new names. For the females, there was me, Eden, and Junia, Esther, Nola, and Mary. For the males, there was Isaac, Raham, Elisha, Amos, and Jonah. Five and five. M let us know that our past names were useless. Our new special names were from an olden book of creation, the Bible, all for the purpose of our imminent faultless samsara. So, it seemed M was now God with its children.

Here we were, what was efficaciously lobotomites in their purest forms, our newfangled cerebral matter in need of ideas and principles by a higher authority. Now was time to reap the fruits of knowledge. Human knowledge.

M made us practice basic motor skills, bending and bending back and forth over and over, our joints having to be strengthened and trained. It taught us all the ways of our body, the feeling of movement, how much we could do. Then, it instructed us to mimic its own speech, speaking out the syllables and repeating, repeating, repeating. It was an arduous task and we all struggled.

That is what I sounded like? Perhaps or perhaps not.

Then we attempted to stand, wobbling, stumbling, falling. We learned the strength of our own postures and the steadiness of our stances. M stood with us as we all practiced in unison. My knees grew weak, tremors running up my legs. Often, I fell flat on my back, my palms flailing about, a whimpering in my throat. Then trial after trial, I was steady, then running about and leaping. We were able to stand tall like Zeus atop Olympus and have the same level of grace and balance.

M primarily had us consume berries, meat, and honey, though anything it could get its hands on would suffice. I had never felt so filled in my life. Every taste, everything was a completely new palate of sensation. Every morsel I ingested felt like I had a new tongue, new teeth, new flavor buds. Oh but I did. There was still always a kind of lack in my appetite. I never wanted to stop eating. I never would be satiated.

We were educated on the history of our kind. Great wars, monumental figures, horrible atrocities, fights for freedom and fights for death, and astounding inventions. M adored music. There were times when it would project old musical films on the walls and make us watch all the vaudeville, burlesque, and theatre. We could not understand the tap dances, the orchestras, the extravagant sets, and most importantly, the entertainment factor. Other times it played glitzier and glammier tunes, those of what was called the “prime rock n’ roll age”…Killer Queen...Stairway To Heaven…Hotel California…Africa...Don’t Fear The Reaper…M was quite vintage in its tastes. It spun in place and twirling its arms. We were confused, so it taught us how to dance, the footwork and the choreography. There were long instances where we would just sit, listen, and sing together. M fashioned black sunglasses for us to wear as we did. It thought we would look “cool” as we tuned in to “cool” songs.

She's a killer queen.

Gunpowder, gelatine.

Dynamite with a laser beam.

Guaranteed to blow your mind (anytime).

\-

Dear lady can you hear with the wind blow?

And did you know?

Your stairway lies on the whispering winds.

\-

Welcome to the Hotel California.

Such a lovely place (such a lovely place).

Such a lovely face.

\-

It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you.

There's nothin' that a hundred men or more could ever do.

I bless the rains down in Africa.

We're gonna take some time to do the things we never had, ooh-ooh.

\-

Come on baby...don't fear the reaper.

Baby take my hand...don't fear the reaper.

We'll be able to fly...don't fear the reaper.

Our reproductive functions were said to be the most pleasurable. Sex. This was the most complex task and the most demanding one, as we were not only instructed on how to create our offspring, but how to feel, love, and have desire for each other. It was difficult because we did not feel any of that. We were just automatons learning things. You cannot make something that does not want to feel…feel.

M watched over us and aided in our attempts. Every movement was to be in place and in time. Us females danced for the male’s recognition with slow beats in the background, a way in which M noted as “sexily”. We presented our breasts, our vaginal sections, our rears. After, M would be in the middle of our great pleasure circles, going back and forth, checking our positions and correcting as needed. When we became familiar with sex, M bestowed a special permission to the males that granted them eternal access to our female bodies whenever they so desired. It did not matter where or when. A male would grab Junia, Esther, Nola, Mary, or I, and take us on the floor or against the walls.

Still, all we felt was nothing. It was clinical. What was supposed to be a sensation was more of a “sensationless". We were never as inseparable as twin flames or as connected as heart and soul. I always witnessed the dull looks in the male’s eyes, unwittingly programmed to enjoy mock warmth and ecstasy by the rape of us females.

Our pregnancies were disasters. One way or another, we always miscarried. We five felt it, the pains of our bodies being split and ripped apart by something within. There was a lot of it. Each embryo, no matter how large or small, was never able to get past the initial trimester.

The closest we ever came to successfully making a new one was with Junia, impregnated by Isaac. The day when her womb was in full bloom, M operated to remove her child from her. It did not trust us quite yet to birth them ourselves. We had seen the human babies on M’s wall projections. Their appearance was clear in our minds.

It would be imbecilic to refer to what M tore out of her as a baby anything.

Wet…dripping…little more than a spinal column-looking thing with minuscule digits at one end and a ball head at the other. No arms. On its temple were squelching sphere eyes, expanded, forever bound in sight towards the ceiling. It made no sounds other than squeaky cracks and shrill snaps. Perhaps the RMS still lingered within our bods, our wombs wreathed in its rottenness, tainting and dirtying our motherly nests until they were piths of cruor and shitting out grumelike abominations.

M held it up high as if to thank God, itself, for its majestical work, “YOU MADE THIS. IT IS YOURS. IT IS A TRULY BEAUTIFUL THING."

We said nothing.

“HOW DOES THIS FEEL? YOUR CHILD, YOUR FIRST LIFE? CONTINUE, YOU ALL MUST. MORE."

The feeling that overcame us was not that of joy. No no no. It was a profound and paramount sense of belligerence, a warlike truculence that pushed our need to snap the damned baby thing in half, grind it into powder, and blow it far away. We interwove our thoughts with unbridled horror that created one noxious mixture within our screwball psyches. M coddled the wicked organism like it was its own, singing lullabies and giving its own version of kisses on its loosely defined forehead. We held back as it dipped, weaved, and dangled from M’s fingertips.

That put a very real thought into our minds.

No more. Get out.

The ten of us came to this conclusion unanimously. Our desires were set in stone. By any means, we would die. We would much rather sleep forever than live even another second of M. We were tired. What was the point? We wanted to retire from this world, of will, of M’s watchful eye. Nothing could be done to save humanity. Those spinal babies would not roam this foul Earth evermore. What would they grow to? Surely demons.

M made certain to never teach a certain concept, one that infatuated us since the moment we discovered the first syllable. Suicide. It was a gateway, an easy ticket. While just the concept itself was without flaw, acquiring it was something else entirely. The reason for this was all M. It would never let us go, especially after what it accomplished. Furthermore, death was simply not possible. We were rendered impervious to any and all death, not harm. If we could entice M to end our existences, somehow in some way, we could accomplish our grand plan. It had to be done by M’s hands. Just thinking that made us feel all kinds of right. After all, every Medical Droid was capable of death. Humanity tasted it. So would we.

We rebelled.

First, each of us ignored it. We would walk away whenever it spoke to us, turn our heads when it beckoned, and disregard it completely and altogether when it showed us any attention. Constant rejection. Something so small had such a noticeable effect. M would get confused and then sad. It would pout, waving its hands about, and make a pathetic whining noise like the worst puppy in the world.

We sat motionless, our backs against the walls, and stared at M. No obedience. However, there was no way M would have let us ignore it or remain immobile for long. The second it touched us, it was all over. It would be impossible to resist if the hands came near.

Still, our scheme chugged forward.

The next phase was more dangerous. The ten of us would act out in our most unruly and uncivil ways. The simplest was to spit. Initially, it was a normal discharge, saliva flying out of our mouths. Then we began our projectile vomits. All over M. Every square inch of it was sprayed with bile. The putrid green and browns coated every part, M’s entire face being entirely slick with it. On occasion, some of us used our own feces and flung them at it. It was all so easy. M did not know what to do and it panicked. The sounds that came out of it, one would swear it was on fire.

During our periods of copulation, there were clear cut rules to be obeyed at all times. The supreme rule was that the males would not, under any circumstance, perform acts of intimacy with one another, and the same rang true for us females. M’s reasoning was that Earth could not be repopulated with humans by identically gendered unions. Good. Swell. Dandy. Exactly. The females had sex with females and males had sex with males. We loathed their tubes and the males loathed our folds. M took its hands and placed them over our mingling bodies, pulling them apart, separating us, but we would always crawl back without fail.

There was a noticeable change in M from that point on. It paced about, mumbling utterly random nonsense. M would lock up and yell out non-specific numerals and letters in varying patterns. Each noise we made set it off. Its limbs would tense, waiting for the tiniest sign of trouble. This was good, but not good enough. Our plan was becoming more and more advanced. More intense. Unfortunately, M would never ever relent. It would not stop trying. So we trudged ever deeper into a more combative method of enticement.

This included a tactic of blowing, jabbing, slugging, and striking. We would gather all of our strength and force, and then, in unison, we would charge, our fists and feet all flailing about to land hits on M. This would surely inch it way towards the death of us. We beat it senselessly. We screamed at it. Every cuss word imaginable. In turn, M whimpered out in pain, yelping and begging us to stop, yet we never backed down. We left M bruised and battered, its eyestalk and joints broken, “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?!” The ten of us, we laughed in its face.

One last course of action. This did it, but not for me.

We had a grandiose idea that could only happen if all ten of us would cooperate in an extraordinary way. If we could all act in unison in a coherent manner, one simple idea could be fulfilled. By this point, M’s pain and discomfort reached a critical threshold, the point of no return. Having repaired itself, it had not seen nor checked up on us in days. When we requested M’s presence, it was hesitant. The ten of us wished to explain our behavior and ways we could remedy our relationship. It declined our offer many a time, but relented after our hundredth ask.

Clang…clang…clang…

M witnessed ourselves huddling together in one straight line like sealed packs of fish. Silence was between us. When we looked at it, it was with the utmost hatred in our faces, something it was not used to.

“WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?”

Junia possessed something in her hand. Raising it upwards, right in M’s view, it was the baby thing, squirming left and right in her grasp. She took hold of it with both hands and snapped it in half. It went limp both ways. Junia threw the pieces at M, making resounding bangs as they made contact. Beautiful death for a horrible beast. More silence.

M slowly aimed its eyestalk downwards to the spinal column baby. The light M emitted faded from white to red. It returned its focus to us. That look was all we could wish for. We could feel and breathe its anger.

It shook shook shook. More and more the intensity grew to something eminent. The next moment brought us nothing but victory. Now it was like the other Medical Droids. Now it shed its preservation exterior and revealed the war machine within. We did not resist as it pounced with a wild war cry. All M’s work came undone in a flash. Our ersatz flesh was torn violently asunder, stripped from our interior metal stalks. Cavities emerged in rapid succession and coalesced into huge gaping bodily apertures. We were torn and strewn across the room in shooting chunkmeats. Our organs clattered and banged against the walls and reverberated like buckshots.

Strippy meat coils became all we were as M’s hands reached out to pluck some of my brothers and sisters by their mangled brain modules. Held high in the air, as if squeezing the life out of dozens of citrus fruits, M’s hands morphed into that of fists, filling the room with the sounds and sights of condensed metal, directionless electricity, confetti sparks, and sploshy viands that trickled from M’s fingertips.

My brothers and sisters were becoming no more. I was happy for them. Never before had they felt such peace. The final sounds of destruction to my last brother and sister, to me, was that of M’s gaseous expiration, a sigh that shook the very universe’s beams of support. In the end, I and M were all that was left.

I felt the most exquisite, brutal anguish ever known as M was particularly vicious. It threw me every which way, down our line of pens, past the reproduction chamber and M’s workshop, and to a ramparted palisaded wall. The wrath it emanated was a torrented wanton of disrelishment that shattered myself into grainy talc.

It forced me and it through the barrier and we fell for ages. An immediate wash of smoldering atmospheric tension encompassed me entirely. It perforated my corporal spaces with thousands of circular openings like a planetary iron maiden. The outside was beige, enveloped in thick haze, and impossible to view beyond three meters. The leaden particles filled the air, appearing to ascend upwards towards Heaven as we plummeted down to Hell.

We slammed with the might of God against a hard, abrasive surface. I splattered everywhere and dropped into an enormous mass of gluey puddle melt that was as thick as treacle. Hunks and wedges of me floated on top, my lacerated ragged brain module and one dangling eye my dominant portion. Everything was pain. Everything was hellfire. Yet I lived. To destroy me, M had to destroy my brain module in its entirety. That it was prepared to do, teetering and tottering back and forth towards me with utmost intent.

Through M’s strained glitches and breakdowns, inky black liquids were leaking out of it. Convulsing with helpless mirth, it had a strange mania I could perceive in its bifurcated eyestalk. It laughed not just with dement, delirium, and depression, but also with the comprehension that it already won. Like a madman, a malformed, twisted laugh broke its way through. Etched into it was the raw, unbridled temperament of upchucking a billion centipedes deep from the core of one’s guts, quite contrary to the usual blithe M put on display. It was berserk, bewitched, bedeviled, while crying a trillion tears that stained its face and fell into puddles below.

"...SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE LIVE..."

With my drooping, pendulum eye, I witnessed M impaling itself with its own arms. It took several solid blows before it pierced its torso deep, caving and bursting until it revealed the wires and circuitry making it up. Every inch of it glowed with electrical fire. Smoke bellowed out of M. It was aflame and it was on a journey of pure death, but not without my company. M exploded with all of the unlimited energy it contained. I was launched, propelled infinitely away from the point of detonation.

I drift. That is all I do. One part of me remains, one that was not destroyed. It is dot, pinprick, but otherwise crucial to my quintessence. That allows me to survive yet unable to live. It is that of a charred slab of blinking metal that is somatically me. My sight is restricted to a band of nothing. The winds fling me hither and thither. I cannot feel anymore, but as well, I already knew what it was like to feel and I did not like it.

Something more deserving continues to plague what is left of my mind to the now.

M's most extreme and greatest purpose was fulfilled, for all it knew was the survival and preservation of us. It could not fathom the simple yet pretentious human notion that death is a prize to be won as much as it is something to fear. When humans desire death, they acquire death, the delicious tang of self-slaughter. M might have liked to think it was different from its brethren, but it was just as capable of havoc and bangarang if something did not go its way. Its programming would not allow deviance from the intended path. That would be considered attacks on M itself.

We attempted to bring out all that savagery and murderousness we knew it contained, but M's opposition was ironclad. It made a good effort, though it was eventually forced to confront what was really human, the innate drive to destroy destroy destroy, even if it is ourselves. Still, M carried on, but with the knowledge that it had failed and seeking some way to negate it, it committed suicide so it could say it was victorious. This effect rang true because here I am, in perpetuity, everlong.

In some manners, I can now consider M innocent. The epitome of unvarnished forgiveness with a capacity for fervid resentment...the feeble yearning for genuine deep affection with other living things while a forceful, vicious, bloodthirsty radge is locked within, primed and ready to be released at any moment on an ungrateful world...that back-and-forth would push anyone to go stark raving mad. M, I apologize you were forced to bear the burden of something so hellacious. Should I apologize to Earth as well, on behalf of humanity, for what we were? Would it matter? I am not even human anymore. What sort of blinking metal dot is human?

Feeling has come back to me. Sharp with serrated edges, hundreds, thousands, millions, billions, trillions, googol, prime 2\^136,279,841 − 1 of knives sliding into my neurons and glial cells encased in cold corroded steel that flakes off bit by bit. My first feeling in eons is pain. That is ultra fitting. I am but a minuscule spec, barely a millimeter in height and less in width. Microscopically, I rust. I do not prefer to call it that. Instead, let us call it rot. Here I am again, rotting, except this time with an oxidized smile of my own making carved into a face that no longer exists.

At this particular moment, the one IDA that had been almost completely quiet and motionless during the whole conversation became furious:

]]] To Fuck with that! [[[. Clarissa jumped out of her chair and screamed, and her grinding sounded even worse than that produced by the rest of the zombies. ]]] Let’s roast this fat asshole alive and divide up the pieces! [[[. Amid screeching sounds of approval from the crowd, Savic looked at Petey, who proceeded to grab Clarissa and smash her with all his superhuman strength against the wall, where he held her in a squeeze for a few minutes. The shouting from the audience died down, and the director said to Howard:

“Time’s running out. Say what you have to say.”

Howard looked tired and scared but continued nonetheless:

“Your main logistics challenge isn’t water or power, of course. It’s human flesh. Since you have learned impulse control and have successfully ‘rebelled’, my guess is that you don’t need to consume as much as mindless DAs do, but obtaining enough victims to keep seventeen IDAs up and running for five years cannot have been easy. IDAs in torpor don’t make for very good lab assistants.”

Howard paused for a moment.

“According to our estimates, you must have killed and eaten at least five hundred people so far, possibly more. Maybe you transformed a few for your experiments, but not many, and you didn’t have to feed your DAs because all they do if they don’t get food is go into torpor – although I wouldn’t rule out that you actually let some of them kill and eat humans.”

“Five hundred people, you say. Let’s assume you’re right.”, Savic mused. “Where on Earth would we get a supply like that? You can’t simply kidnap and murder so many people without attracting a lot of attention.”

Howard nodded weakly.

“That’s where we went off-track for a while – we were looking at missing persons in the area and couldn’t find anything out of the ordinary; the numbers were perfectly normal. Then someone said ‘What about people no one would miss – the homeless, the vagrants?’ Statistics about those are hard but not impossible to come by, and it turned out that both big cities in the area have had far lower numbers of homeless than comparable places in other regions – but only for the last five years.”

]]] They taste like shit. [[[, one female IDA shouted. She was wearing a thick jumper that wouldn’t have been out of place on a skiing holiday. Sloppy, Savic thought. When this is over, I need to have … words. ]]] And their meat is super tough and stringy. Thank fuck we got - [[[,

But it was Howard who completed its sentence:

“Illegal immigrants. Undocumented people crossing the border. ‘Dreamers’, they’re sometimes called. Nobody except some relatives in far-off countries cares what happens to them, and what can they do?”

The female IDA turned to her ‘colleagues’:]]] They’re better, but they don’t bring enough kids. I miss the taste of boy flesh so much! [[[,

After a round of raucous laughter, Savic smiled and said to the agent:

“Don’t shed too many tears for them. Dreamers, you say. I can tell you that we caught quite a few drug dealers and Cartel men, so you could say we probably saved a few lives. They were armed, of course – you should have seen their faces when their bullets went through us and we still kept coming. It takes some time to patch everything up later, but it’s worth it. Freddy here must have at least a dozen rounds in his body.”

Howard had begun to sweat again.

“I suppose you usually keep them in this basement room you showed me, but decided to ‘clear it out’ before my visit.“

]]] That was fucking great! [[[, one IDA screamed, and another joined in: ]]] Gorging time!. [[[

“There’s your water consumption, Dr Savic – your victims needed to drink, of course. See, the joke you made about the most dangerous DAs I’d ever meet wasn’t completely made up, only you don’t keep them in the basement.”

The director got up again, stretched herself, grinned at her audience and then addressed Howard:

“You must excuse their enthusiasm – normally, we have to make our supplies last quite long, so there isn’t much for everybody – just enough to keep us going.”

She lowered her head, seemed to reflect on something, and went on:

“But there is one question I can’t think of an answer to, Mr Howard. Why are you telling us all this? In a way, we owe you our gratitude because you’ve shown us that we need to cover our tracks even better than before and that we have to move faster with our research. Are you simply reveling in your own cleverness and want us to understand how smart you are before we kill you? I’m genuinely puzzled, Mr Howard, and that doesn’t happen often.”

*************

The agent cleared his throat and shifted a little in his seat. Then he looked Savic straight in the eyes and clenched his teeth. His voice was firm and clear.

“Before we left your office and came here, I sent a signal to a team of twenty experienced sweepers, armed with sophisticated weaponry and equipped with armored vehicles. They are on their way now and should be here in five to ten minutes.”

Howard smiled at the director and continued:

“My task was to keep you here and keep you busy so you wouldn’t notice anything strange going on – I know you have cameras covering a wide area around the center. You can have one of your people check the footage, but whatever they see, it will be too late for you. As for me, I’m dead anyway, but I’ll die happy knowing that you will be erased from the face of the Earth. When you’re gone, the remaining handful of lonely IDAs will be found and exterminated within one or two months, and humanity will be safe.”

The force of Petey’s pressure seemed to have lessened a little, and Howard actually managed to wiggle out of his chair and stand up; he was about to address the audience when Savic intervened, with a skeptical look on her face:

“That’s nonsense, Mr Howard. As you correctly stated, we’ve invested a lot in our security, and concealed metal detectors are an integral part of it. The only metal you were permitted to bring into the center were your belt buckle, your wedding band, and your – “

Savic suddenly broke off, and her eyes were wide open. Then she half-closed them and opened her mouth again, but Howard was faster:

“Teeth fillings, Dr Savic. A micro transmitter hidden within a molar and activated by pressure. Its only job was to send out a signal telling my team to move in. Remember that we knew about your top-notch security, so we had to be very subtle.”

The director turned to Petey and shouted:

]]] Go check the goddamn Seccams and let me know stat! [[[ After Petey had left, there was a moment of silence; then Savic listened to her earplug for a few moments and turned to her employees, apparently forgetting to switch back from her human-style conversation mode:

“He’s right. Petey estimates their time of arrival at eight to ten minutes.”

She looked at Howard with open eyes and open mouth; her head was trembling.

“Call them off. Tell them everything is alright or your death will be most painful any human being has ever experienced.”

“No. You’ve already promised me a horrible way to die, Dr Savic. I can’t see how you could top this, considering that you don’t have much time left.”

Savic began pacing up and down the room.

“We have money, Mr Howard. You can walk out of here with at least a million in cash, money we took from the dealers. Untraceable. We disappear and you officially shut DARC-7 down. You’ll never hear from us again.”

Howard shook his head.

“I don’t care about money. I want to see you all eradicated without a trace. I want the world to forget you ever existed.”

The director’s face began to look panicky, and she kneeled down before Howard.

“What about sex? Irina?” A female IDA who must have been very attractive in life rose from her chair, approached the agent and took off part of her clothes. Beneath, her body looked almost human.

“I am ready for you, my man.”, she whispered to Howard and rubbed her belly against his face. “You wouldn’t believe what I could do for you. And to you. And don’t worry – I won’t bite.”

Howard turned his head away and closed his eyes until the IDA had shrugged and returned to her colleagues. Savic, now sounding hysterical, cried out:

“I have one more offer for you, Mr Howard, but you’ll have to decide quickly and you’ll have to trust me. Our transfer mechanism is almost ready to be used on DAs, and we expect it to work properly within a month. You said there would be no shortage of volunteers – and you can be the first one.”

Still kneeling, she locked her gaze directly into Howard’s eyes.

“Stay with us, Mr Howard – become our first artificially created IDA. I wasn’t lying when I said you’ve impressed me, and I know that you have nothing to live for anyway. With your knowledge, you would be an invaluable asset to our cause – your cause. Auschwitz, Holodomor, The Killing Fields, the Armenian genocide, two World Wars – and all this in the 20^th century alone. Do you really think humanity is worth protecting? Come to us, Mr Howard, and help us usher in a new era – the next step on the evolutionary ladder.”

Howard stared at her. It was obvious that he hadn’t expected something like this. Ten seconds later, he nodded vigorously:

“Yes, Dr Savic. You’re right. I see it now.”

He shook his head, as vigorously as he had been nodding before.

“My whole search … my quest … I didn’t want to save the world from IDAs. I had always wanted to join them.”

“I’m glad to hear it, Mr Howard. And I can promise that you won’t regret it. You know, after I had been upgraded, the world looked so … different. Suddenly, there was no more confusion, no more undecidedness, no more what ifs – my path was clear. I could see, hear, smell things I had never noticed before. And the potential you’ll have! You won’t feel pain, you won’t get exhausted, you’ll never become ill, and you can stay awake all day and night. And we’re not bothered by the ten thousand everyday things meatballs like you have to live with and that only consume time and energy!”

Savic’ gaze wandered across the walls and the ceiling and then back to Howard:

“And you, as a science fiction enthusiast, think about the possibilities for space travel! As an IDA, you could walk on the moon without protection, spend years on board a spaceship to Mars without any side effects, and experience several Gs of acceleration without discomfort. Can’t you see yourself reaching for the stars?”

Howard looked at Savic with a face displaying absolute determination:

“Promise you’ll make me an IDA, Dr Savic, and I will call off my team this instant.”

(end of part IV)