r/etiquette • u/kaysuhdeeyuh • 3d ago
Opening gifts at my baby shower- yes or no?
I am so confused- could use some help!
My sister-in-law is kindly hosting my baby shower. Our family is spread out over the state within 2-3 hours, so many people are driving in. About half the guests sent unwrapped gifts directly to my house from my registry and (I assume) the other half are bringing wrapped gifts. We are obviously happy either way and grateful that people have been so generous!
I’m confused about whether or not I’m supposed to open gifts at the shower, considering so many gifts have already been sent. No gifts were open at the last few birthday parties I’ve been to and an increasing number of showers seem to be leaning that way as well. I’m PERFECTLY happy not opening gifts and having a table for them to sit while we mingle and eat, but I know in many circles this isn’t the traditional way.
I understand that showers are to “shower” the mother-to-be with baby gifts so I’m just confused as to what to do. If we opt out of opening gifts because so many came to the house, is that something we need to announce? The party is only a week away and invited have gone out, so it’s too late for my sister-in-law to inform guests to wrap in clear plastic or not wrap at all.
Please help!
I’m already 35 weeks pregnant with a very difficult pregnancy and the last thing I want to do is load my car up with what we already were sent to “show off” the gifts that were sent to our house 🫠
EDIT: We hand wrote thank you’s for the ones that already arrived at our house and will send out the rest the following week after we open them!
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u/DazzlingNote1925 3d ago
Leave the gifts you received at home at home. Make a public thank you to those who sent gifts to your house and just a basic statement about how appreciative you are of their thoughtfulness and generosity.
Open the gifts people bring to the shower at the shower. I love seeing all the cute baby things and gathering around the mother to be in support.
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u/Sample-quantity 3d ago
I guess I'm weird, but to me seeing the presents opened is a lot of the fun of bridal and baby showers. I'd be a little disappointed if they weren't. I would have said bring the gifts sent to the home and put them on a table so people can see and then open the others. there.
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u/TinyLawfulness3710 3d ago
Not weird at all. It's the entire purpose of a shower. People post-pandemic want to create their own etiquette that is rude to everyone around them because they don't care who gets offended.
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u/Any-Alternative2667 3d ago
I have been to showers where opened gifts were passed around to be admired.
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u/littleballoffurkitty 3d ago
I also feel this way and feel like such an odd man out. I love admiring all the things. I don’t love playing games when I don’t always know all the people at the party. So I guess I’m just weird.
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u/Glittering-Law9449 3d ago
Just out of curiosity how old are you? I’m 40 and at the last baby shower I went to they opened all the gifts and it was incredibly boring. Trying to figure out if it’s a generational thing or just a personal preference
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u/TransportationNo6983 3d ago
I’m 40 and every shower I have been to the gifts were opened during the shower. It is fun to see all the cute baby things.
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u/Potential_Phrase_206 3d ago
It used to be fun when people were free to pick out cute things on their own. Now that everything has to be from the registry it IS boring. It’s all the stuff the guests already looked at online.
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u/Murky_Possibility_68 3d ago
49, yes to gifts . No games. Registries were definitely a thing then when my friends were having showers.
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u/Potential_Phrase_206 3d ago
Yes, but I feel like the pressure to stick ONLY to the registry has intensified. In my experience anyway.
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u/Sample-quantity 3d ago
I'm 64 but I have always felt this way. I find silly games, well, silly! And I'm interested in seeing what everyone else gave, and to see the reaction when someone opens my gift. That's a lot of the pleasure of giving gifts, to me.
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u/maricopa888 2d ago
I'm a lot younger than you and I totally agree! Also, it's not just the reaction when my gift is opened. It's observing how others interact with each other and the bride.
The other issue is some of my friends/fam are noticing lack of thank you cards, both for weddings and showers. This seriously pisses me off. There's a "crassness" that is creeping into all this that bothers me.
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u/Glittering-Law9449 3d ago
Ahhh ok that makes sense. I always feel inadequate in my gift giving and stick to the registry and don’t feel particularly tied to the gift. Would much rather receive a note or photo when they use it!
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u/SectionMysterious731 2d ago
I only like to see people unwrap presents at a baby shower, which is not lovely, but maybe things are so much cuter than like KitchenAid mixer or Tupperware
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u/PsychologicalBus1692 1d ago
Meanwhile, I find the "opening presents" ritual at any event to be so tacky that I would not come to a future event held by or for the same person unless they were immediate family.
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u/Sample-quantity 1d ago
Ok, well that's pretty extreme but that's .. a choice.
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u/PsychologicalBus1692 1d ago
Its just a display of who spent the most money and it makes people with less to spend feel bad at the expense of making the people who spent a lot feel good in comparison. I find it tacky and classist.
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u/Sample-quantity 1d ago
Nothing to do with money at all. The best gifts are handmade. You should get out more.
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u/StuffonBookshelfs 2d ago
I took pictures of the gifts that were sent to my house and had them printed. We hung them up on a clothes line at the shower so people could see them, and so the folks at the shower who sent gifts could also feel the gratitude we had.
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u/RideThatBridge 3d ago
You’ve gotten a lot of answers here, but something to consider is what your SIL, as the host, has planned. She may have built into the ‘schedule’ of the shower for gift opening. It might not be solely up to you. Can you talk to her about it?
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u/PuzzleheadedLemon353 3d ago
Everybody likes to "Oooohhhh and Awwwww"...at all the cute baby gifts...I say bring them!
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u/Beginning_Project_38 3d ago
“Everyone” is a stretch…me and most of my friends find it excruciating. There are many other better uses of everyone’s time
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u/PuzzleheadedLemon353 3d ago
The use of this 'time' is for sharing your love for the one you are there to celebrate...it can be a bunch of ridiculousness in some of the baby games, but it's the joy you share with your family and friends and share some laughter together about it. It's important for the new Mom-to Be...so that makes it important to me to be there and share in the event.
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u/milkdistrict 3d ago
My baby shower was earlier this year. I also usually don’t like being the center of attention and I get self conscious opening gifts in front of people, it’s not something I enjoy doing at all. But I ended up opening the gifts at my baby shower and had fun. I had my mother in law and aunt in law sit next to me which made me feel like less of a spotlight and they helped to open things and keep track of everything.
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u/miss_scarlett1211 3d ago
For my bridal and baby showers I opened gifts with people as they came to the shower. My friends/hosts organized it so that I got to take a bit of time with each guest, thank them personally and chat about the gift, and then we displayed everything on tables for people to look at throughout the event. If there was a backup of people waiting, my friends directed them to get a drink or find their seat and then they came back once I was ready. Then I got to spend the rest of the shower with guests, eating, socializing, etc.
I absolutely cannot stand the gift opening event as a guest, but even more so as the center of attention. The pressure to react to each onesie and item is stressful. However, I also feel it’s important to acknowledge guests and the gift they chose.
I wish more people would try this!
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u/Randomflower90 2d ago
Open the gifts at the shower. It’s nice to see what the mom-to-be receives and how baby gear has changed over the years.
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u/pizzathym3 2d ago edited 2d ago
I think this is largely a personal and increasingly generational thing. Imo, a big reason people want to watch their gift being opened is to get the accolades for their gift in real time (to me, not what gift giving is about), and something older people care about far more often than younger ones.
Did not open presents at my shower because, to me, that part is insanely boring for everyone else (other than when their specific gift is being opened), and takes a huge chunk of time. We did a jack and Jill and wanted it to be more of a party; played a few (less traditional) games but mostly just hung out and had fun. seemed like everyone had a good time
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u/HistoryPristine1029 2d ago
Seeing gifts are literally the only reason I go to a baby shower.
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u/pizzathym3 2d ago
I cannot think of a less exciting way to spend time, but you do you man. Like I said, it's a personal preference
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u/Intelligent-Claim603 3d ago
I say open!! I like it. It’s kind of like what else are we doing for three hours lol we might as well look at cute baby clothes and toys and books.
I also think just make it informal don’t force people to watch, if they want to go off, mingle, have a drink let them. But people that want to watch let them.
I also think depends how many gifts. If it’s going to be hours on hours maybe don’t. But 45 minutes I say it’s a fun activity.
Better than like a diaper changing game or something LOL
I think at the end of the day you really can’t go wrong. It’s your shower.
And like you said the point of the event is to shower you with gifts so I think it’s fine!
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u/IHaveBoxerDogs 2d ago
Showers and birthday parties are different. The whole point of showers is the gifts. That’s why traditionally gifts are opened. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a shower where the gifts weren’t opened. But there’s no law that you have to do it.
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u/ReeMayRe 3d ago
Every shower I have been to, bridal or baby, they opened the gifts during the shower. But, traditions change and some people may opt to open them at home. I'm sure your guests won't mind either way.
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u/kaysuhdeeyuh 3d ago
Thank you! This makes me feel better. Obviously, I’ll be writing thank you’s and sending them out the following week!
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u/TiffanyTwisted11 3d ago
My thought is that anything that is sent to you unwrapped, you should just leave at home. You technically won’t be opening it you would just be displaying it.
If the person sent a card, perhaps you can bring that, open it and then announce to the guests what that person has sent you.
The book idea is also a good way of acknowledging people. My son‘s partner requested books in lieu of cards. She asked everyone to sign them. My sisters pitched in and bought them a very expensive bassinet from their registry. We live out of state, so they didn’t attend the shower and simply had it shipped to their home. There was absolutely no reason for them to lug that thing to the shower. When she opened their books, she announced what they had given her.
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u/Able-Glass2277 2d ago
My least favorite thing is to watch people open gifts lol. Anyway, I opened mine and so did my friend at our baby showers. They were smaller about 30 people.
My friend who had triplets this year and had about 75 people there, opened about half before asking if there was anyone who was still here who wanted her to open them rn💀
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u/MaximumTree7005 2d ago
I love seeing gifts being opened and when I put a lot of thought and effort into something thoughtful, I want to watch the person open it 🤷🏻♀️
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u/MaximumTree7005 2d ago
I just had a baby shower and opened them at the shower. I tried to do it quickly but it was very nice saying thank you to people in the moment.
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u/PurplePrincess2424 1d ago
I actually really enjoy it! My one friend wasn’t going to open gifts and then we asked her to open our group gift and unfortunately fortunately for us she ended up opening them all. I love seeing all the cute little stuff!
I’ve also seen people play present bingo to keep it interesting for those who don’t love it.
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u/VillageLoud748 1d ago
For my baby shower because my husband did a “Big Daddy Golf Tournament” with his friends and male family while all the ladies were at our house I told everyone him and I would open gifts together when he got home. No one was upset and I sent thank you cards out 2 days later. It was so much fun just opening stuff with my husband and giggling, getting excited about certain stuff and the best part NOT SAYING “thank you” and looking for someone in the crowd.
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u/DryFig511 20h ago
I think it's a generational split. Millennials and younger would rather not watch people open gifts at showers and older generations often find it to be part of the tradition. I think it's the most boring part of any shower personally 😬 and I don't really like that guests could possibly feel like they're being compared for the level of gift they could afford.
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u/Nature_Soaring 18h ago
I personally think baby showers are the absolute worst type of event to have to go to. No offence at all, just not what I enjoy spending my free time doing. I LOVE when we don’t have to sit around for an hour and watch gift opening (I feel this same way about wedding showers, etc.). I may get downvoted but I feel people that enjoy showers/gifts will be less annoyed by not seeing presents than people who hate showers having to watch presents be open. The gift lovers still get to enjoy the rest of the shower, the small talk, the games. They can live without presents.
All that to say, do what you want. If you want to open presents, do it. If not, don’t do it to please people.
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u/Altruistic_Relief189 3d ago
In this situation, I wouldn't open gifts. it would be awkward since some are already at home. Also, it sounds like a larger party and opening gifts could take up time better spent socializing. The only question of etiquette here is how you thank your guests for attending and for their gifts. It's not a faux pas if you don't open gifts at the party.
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u/kaysuhdeeyuh 3d ago
Thank you! That’s what I thought. I was surprised so many people who RSVP’d “yes” still sent them to my house. We are so thankful either way but that’s what confused me about opening gifts at the shower. I agree about socializing! It’s not often we all get together despite (mostly) living in the same state so it would be nice to spend more time with talking and eating rather than watching me, haha. I appreciate the input!
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u/Sample-quantity 3d ago
People get confused about the etiquette of gifts. You're supposed to send wedding gifts ahead of time but you're supposed to take gifts to showers because that's the point of them.
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u/Sensitive_Sea_5586 3d ago
Last shower I attended, mother to be lived out of state and returned to childhood home for a family and friends shower. I and many others shipped our gifts direct to her home. Mine was a large size. They had also ask everyone to bring a book for the baby. When she open the books, she also acknowledged that the larger gift had been shipped/received and verbally thanked the giver.
Personally I find it rude not to open and acknowledge the gifts, which is the purpose of the shower. No one expected her to pack and bring the shipped gifts, the purpose of shipping was to avoid her having to transport gifts. Her acknowledgment was enough for the shower.
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u/EtonRd 3d ago
The proper etiquette for a baby shower is to open the gifts that are brought to the shower.
For the people who sent you gifts already, verbally thank them again when you see them at the shower. But just because you’ve got some gifts ahead of time doesn’t mean that you don’t open the gifts that are brought to the shower.
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u/djjdkwjsbdj 2d ago
Oh my god, please don’t! It is SO BORING. I saw your registry, I don’t need to see it all in person.
I think it’s an old tradition. I’d argue that everyone in favor is over 50.
I went to a shower yesterday - just drinks, food, and conversation. It was a blast. Please do not force your guests to watch you open some presents.
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u/Andante79 3d ago
As someone who has been a guest at many, many showers - whatever the etiquette really is, showers are far more enjoyable if I don't have to sit and watch someone open presents for two hours.
The point of the shower as I understand it is to shower the guest of honour with love and support - the gifts are just another small part of it. The showers for which I have been the guest of honour - nothing was opened at the shower itself. We visited, played some stupid shower games, and had a meal.
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u/Wonderful_Bison2859 3d ago
I don’t disagree with you on opening gifts, but the origin of the term “shower” is absolutely that you would shower the honoree with gifts.
This is an important distinction because it dictates essentially all of the etiquette around showers, including who should host and who it’s appropriate to invite.
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u/BuddyOk4531 3d ago
I thought it was to shower the guest of honor with gifts? If it's not about the gifts, just have a "party" for the guest of honor. Much rather look at cute baby gifts than play those ridiculous shower games!!
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u/Adventurous-Day7469 3d ago
Showers are gift giving events. That’s literally the entire purpose. The gifts are not a small part and I don’t know a single person with a lick of common sense that would show up to a shower without either bringing or sending a gift. If you’re efficient, gift opening takes less than an hour. I feel like people are pretty 50/50 on this. I love giving gifts and put a lot of thought into them so I would be disappointed not seeing the gift opening.
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u/Strong-Shop-9377 2d ago
I agree with you 💯. I live in SC & the last shower I went to was in FL, so quite a distance to travel. It felt like we were at the shower for a couple hours & some of us were asking when she was going to open the gifts when it finally happened. I too put a lot of thought into the gifts I give, plus at this shower we were all asked to bring our favorite childhood book, so I really wanted to see the gifts being opened. I would've been very disappointed if she hadn't opened the gifts. Bday parties I could care less, but baby showers I feel are different.
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u/kaysuhdeeyuh 3d ago
May I ask what people do when so many gifts are sent directly to the guest of honors house? I was surprised that such a large number sent them to my home (I’m grateful either way!) but thought only the people who are NOT attending would do that. About half who RSVP’d “yes” sent them to my home unwrapped. Thanks for your reply!
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u/Adventurous-Day7469 3d ago
Just acknowledge them at the end of gift opening. “Before we finish, we also want to thank everyone who sent gifts directly to [Name]’s home. Your thoughtful gifts are so appreciated, and we’re grateful to all of you for celebrating her today!”
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u/kaysuhdeeyuh 3d ago edited 3d ago
This makes me feel much better, thank you! I just want to get down to business and eat! Hah. But in all seriousness, I have heard many people say (even on this sub) that they don’t enjoy watching the gifts get open so I thought I’d ask :) My husband and I will be writing thank you cards and sending them out the following week.
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u/SpacerCat 3d ago
If you want to follow established social etiquette, you open the gifts brought to the shower at the shower. You thank everyone graciously. And you admire each and every gift that was given to you.
You’ve heard from a minority of commentators that they don’t like watching the person opening gifts. However, you’re asking in an etiquette sub.
So it’s up to you. You follow the rules of etiquette or you don’t. If you know the rules of etiquette, then you can decide how you want to behave. People can also judge you how they want.
The point of etiquette is that there is an established set of social behaviors so that if you walked into any social gathering at any time, you’d all behave in an expected way, which would make everyone comfortable.
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u/SnooMacarons5834 3d ago
I hosted my sister’s baby shower and I planned it as a display shower. Gifts were unwrapped but labeled with a card as to who they were from. My sister went through and touched each gift and said what it was and gave a public thank you to the person (e.g. “This is a beautiful handknit baby blanket, thanks so much aunt Margaret!” “I can’t wait to read this book to the baby. The Very Hungry Caterpillar is one of my favorites. Thanks Mary and John!” It was just a couple of seconds for each gift. I had a timer and if my sister was touching/talking about your gift when it went off, you got a lottery ticket. Someone won $20
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u/SpacerCat 3d ago
The one and only point of the shower is to be showered with gifts. Open the gifts. Show off what you were given. And thank each gift giver as you open each gift.
It’s not a shower if it’s not about the gifts.
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u/djjdkwjsbdj 2d ago
The only point of the shower is gifts? I thought it was to celebrate the mom. And the baby. But who cares about those bozos when there are gifts! Classic American take.
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u/SpacerCat 2d ago
It’s called a shower because the mom is showered with gifts.
Otherwise, it’s just a party.
If you’re throwing a shower, it’s about gifts. If you don’t want the event to be about gifts, it’s not a shower. It’s very simple.
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u/djjdkwjsbdj 2d ago
Fair enough. But it also isn’t 1940 anymore, and opening presents is boring as sin to witness. What’s the aversion to prioritizing guest enjoyment over self indulgence? Times change.
The best showers I’ve ever been to have involved 0 games and 0 presents. The worst showers I’ve been to involve both. This isn’t Emily Post’s world anymore. It’s weird to put your rich and poor friends on display. Times have changed. It’s for the best.
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u/SpacerCat 2d ago
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u/djjdkwjsbdj 2d ago
You’re talking about old school etiquette. But modern etiquette exists too!
Are you getting dressed up daily? Have you worn white after labor day? Have you worn black to a wedding?
This stuff isn’t one size fits all anymore. It isn’t rigid. This is a positive change. And if you want to know what the new mom is receiving…just look at the registry.
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u/SpacerCat 2d ago
The Emily Post Institute updates their rules of etiquette all the time to follow the times. Showers are still about gifts whether you like it or not.
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u/Independent_Honey150 3d ago
Opening gifts in front of people is my nightmare. I’d rather give birth in that room.
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u/princessdickworth 3d ago
Save them for at home. It's terrible to sit there for an extra hour or two watching gifts being opened up. The purpose is to celebrate you and your baby! I'd rather spend the time socializing with friends and family than be stuck in a chair saying "oh that's cute" every time a onesie is held up in the air.
Also, if you plan on giving out favors, make them something edible!
One of my friends did a raffle. At the door you filled out an envelope with your name and address on it. She had five prizes available ($25 gas gift cards) and towards the end drew five envelopes out of the stack. Nobody got stuck with a prize they didn't want (like wine for a nondrinker, or some kitchen tools/potholders, or body lotion they might be allergic to) and it was a nice way to end the shower before she gave a thank you speech.
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u/kaysuhdeeyuh 3d ago
Thank you! I hate being the center of attention but would suck it up if needed 🙃 Mingling takes the pressure off.
I’m not hosting so I have no idea if they’re doing favors or a raffle but that’s definitely a great idea if I host a shower in the future! The shower is basically a surprise for me- I just know when to get there and where to be! :)
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u/DataNotAvailable 16h ago
I was dreading opening gifts at my baby shower, so we made a “baby bingo” game. Every guest got a bingo card with various items on it, or common phrases you might hear when opening gifts, we got a few scratch off lottery tickets to give to the bingo winners. The guest got to enjoy watching me open the gifts, and I didn’t feel quite as much under the spot light since they were also paying attention to the bingo game
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u/princessdickworth 3d ago
Highly recommend! It was fun watching people get picked and a brilliant idea. Nobody had to collect envelopes off the tables, she didn't have to buy fifty-some pens, and her thank yous were pre-addressed.
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u/GoddessScully 3d ago
My baby shower is next weekend and I decided to absolutely NOT open gifts during the party. It’s a short party anyways, and I can’t hide my face if someone got me something I didn’t like. I’d rather spend time mingling with my friends and family and have it be super laid back and chilled. But that’s just my personality 🤷♀️
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u/Party-Ad-8255 3d ago
It’s the norm now and honestly thank god
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u/GoddessScully 3d ago
I haven’t been to a bunch of baby showers honestly, but I just knew I wanted mine to be super laid back since I’m throwing it for myself and I don’t have a bunch of money
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u/PreppyAtHeart1972 2d ago
I think you should acknowledge the gifts at the shower if you choose not to open them. AND if you don't, send thank you notes asap that indicate you know what the gift was, not just a generic message.
Registries indicate that a gift is expected and not opening or acknowledging is a slap in the face to those who spent time and money.
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u/Ok-Indication-7876 2d ago
the last few baby showers I attended they had the gifts that were sent direct nicely displayed open on a table with a small card who gave it. Then the MTB was able to stand by table lift/point and than the person in front of the group. The MTB then sat in front of that table and opened the wrapped gifts the others brought. Baby showers I always like to see the gifts open- you ooh and awe over the tiny cute cloths and things like that and often some hand made things that you really want to see the blankets and booties! congratulations
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u/beybaska 1d ago
I literally JUST had my baby shower. I opted not to open gifts cause I thought it would feel weird. We didn’t make any kind of announcement, we just had a little table where people could put their gifts.
But honestly I kind of wish I had opened the gifts during the party! I did it after the shower and I wished the people were there so I could gush over their sweet thoughtful gifts to them directly (will obviously still send thank you cards though). I just I wished they were there to see our reactions, cause that’s half the fun of gift giving!!
I only opened the ones that people brought that day or were pre-wrapped when they had been sent ahead of time.
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u/Extension-Wedding-74 18h ago
My niece took photos of her mailed gifts and labeled who they were from. At the end of the shower, she opened the gifts brought in person and played the slideshow of mailed gifts and thanked everyone. The whole point of mailing them is to make it easier on the recipient. You bringing them all to the shower defeats the purpose!
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u/TrainingCheesecake72 15h ago
I would say if you aren't going to open at the shower, ask for gifts to be brought unwrapped, so you can display them and people can see what they are.
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u/Chaos1957 9h ago
Why don’t you take photos of all the unwrapped gifts and make a big board with the names of the givers?
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u/takemedrunkimh0me 9h ago
I’m doing no wrap gifts shower. They will be displayed on a table and people can look if they would like. My shower is also co-ed and I’m supply wine and beer. I can’t wait!
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u/purplishfluffyclouds 3d ago
NO. It’s boring AF, and makes the people who didn’t or couldn’t spend as much money hugely embarrassed.
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u/CassandraApollo 3d ago
The last baby shower I went to, the gifts were not opened. We played games, ate shower food and socialized. I was very nice. No one commented on the gifts not being opened.
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u/Sample-quantity 3d ago edited 2d ago
No one would comment because that would be very rude. But I'm sure some if not many of them missed it.
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u/Observer_8202 3d ago
After the gazillionth onesie, it gets harder to maintain genuine reaction. Also awkward because everyone has a different budget so it may become a comparison thing unknowingly.
If there is anyone who seems really excited about their gift, you can always facetime them or film yourself opening them later and send those directly.
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u/lunar_rio 3d ago
We didn't and only one of my SIL's friends was insisting I open the gifts. Nobody else cared. It definitely depends on the crowd though. One friend asked we opened their gift right before they left so we did. The few showers I went to I was so bored watching the gift opening, so that's probably why I didn't open the gifts.
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u/Adventurous-Day7469 2d ago
Chances are there were a few that cared, they were just too polite to say something.
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u/kg51113 3d ago
The gifts that have been sent already can stay at home. I would just make mention (you, baby's father, host, etc) that some gifts have already been received at home.
See if you can enlist help from someone to create a written list or picture display of what's already been received. You could send a written list or pictures for a family member or close friend to make a display. Then people can see that you did in fact receive certain items. Delegate tasks to others and enlist help!
One shower I went to recently had a spor for gifts to open now or gifts to open later. If the shower isn't at your home, you have to transport gifts back home whether you open them or not.
Maybe you could spread out the gift opening throughout the shower. The host can welcome everyone. You can open a few gifts. Mingle/eat (mom first) and you open a few more while guests finish eating. Mingle some more, sprinkle in any games/trivia/activities and then open a few more.
Express your needs to the host, and have them assist you with enlisting other family members or close friends to help you. If you need to sit more, have people bring things to you. The host can let guests know what the plan is.
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u/19ShowdogTiger81 2d ago
I am nosey. I will be the auntie shoveling the gifts to you so we can oooo and ahhhhh.
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u/Freyjas_child 2d ago
Showers are an event designed to give gifts. I expect that gifts will be opened. Also I like to see what things were given. In my family we have an assembly line with several people helping. Everything possible is done to minimize any extra time . Other people discreetly cut ribbons and get the package ready to open quickly. Someone else whisks it out of the hands of the guest of honor once opened and admired and gives it to a third party who writes down all the information for future thank you notes.
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u/rootntoot626 1d ago
Traditionally, opening gifts is how it is done, that is the etiquette! This whole “I hate when they open gifts” sentiment represents how modern day relationships have turned in to this everything-is-a-burden mentality and then people complain about being alone and unhappy. Celebrate your people and be happy with them. Most people love to see the joy their gift brings, anyways. I feel like a text after the fact saying “hey got your gift love it thanks” is so cheap after somebody put the effort and money in for you!
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u/PracticeNo7267 3d ago
No games and no opening gifts. Both are passe. If they aren’t at laser serving mimosas during gift ops ing I do the Irish goodbye. Certainly don’t need to stay around for an hour to watch this.
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u/Family_is_life_702 3d ago
Don’t do it at the shower but if someone comes to you requesting you open their gift, let them know you can call/FaceTime them another day if they really want to see your reaction. This happens typically if someone has hand made a gift.
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u/Sensitive_Sea_5586 3d ago
How incredibly rude. Someone has taken the time to hand make a gift and they have to asked for it to be opened, then should be put-off with a “later FaceTime”? I cannot think of anything more rude.
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u/Family_is_life_702 3d ago
There’s plenty of more rude things to do. It’s not their party
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u/Sensitive_Sea_5586 3d ago
Of course, don’t consider the guests who have gifted handmade items or purchased gifts and take the time to show up and celebrate OP and their baby. /s
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u/Family_is_life_702 3d ago
Imagine an ego so fragile that you want everyone to sit through 2hours of present opening so you can hear the oos and ahs over your gift!
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u/Murky_Possibility_68 3d ago
Not attending is always an option.
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u/Family_is_life_702 3d ago
Yes, for anyone who doesn’t like the setup that the pregnant person wants, for sure!
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u/PracticeNo7267 3d ago
I can’t think is anything more ride for a parent or mother of bride to host a shower and force is to sit there and watch the presentation t be unwrapped. And some showers are too long. Attended a 4 hour shower on a Sunday.
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u/TinyLawfulness3710 3d ago
It's a gift giving party so opening wrapped gifts is the bare minimum. It's literally showering you with gifts, hence the name . Don't accept the shower if you refuse to open gifts. Also guests need to bring gifts wrapped with them from home, never ship them directly to you.
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u/PlanImaginary3463 3d ago
I had a lot of older guests who were excited to see their gift be opened and our reaction, so we opened them. I did not haul stuff there that was already sent to our house though.