r/dating_advice • u/Mental-Card-5267 • 12h ago
Girl I've been dating introduced me as her boyfriend at a car dealership after four dates
I (28M) have been seeing this girl (27F) for about a month. We've been on four dates and things have been going pretty well.
She asked if I'd come with her to look at a used Mazda because she wanted a second opinion. I know a decent amount about cars so I figured why not.
When the salesman came over, she immediately introduced me as her boyfriend and told him I knew more about cars than she did. We haven't even talked about being exclusive yet.
The guy spent almost the entire time talking to me instead of her. After we left I asked why she called me her boyfriend and she said the last two dealerships she'd visited treated her like an idiot, so she figured bringing a guy would help.
I understand her reasoning but I felt a bit used. She could've just told me beforehand instead of putting me in that position.
She thinks I'm making a big deal out of nothing and said I should take it as a compliment that she wanted me there.
Would this bother anyone else or am I reading too much into it?
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u/heyitsmarc 12h ago
I can understand it taking you by surprise in the moment, but bothering you?
You’re still dating her because you want your relationship with her to progress, right?
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u/Tight_Jaguar_3881 10h ago
This guy is an idiot . Or maybe I am as this cannot be true.
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u/SpiritJuice 7h ago
Man it feels like the whole "60% of young men are single" stat that some people love to cite is self inflicted stupidity like OP.
"Hey I've been dating this woman for a month. Things are going great. She called me her boyfriend. I hated it. What should I do?"
Like, brother, what are we even doing here? Maybe I'm out of touch with younger folks these days but this seems like the biggest nothingburger to be upset about when dating. Maybe the 20-something dating bracket is all messed up because everyone is in their own heads all the time self sabotaging.
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u/ashenoceiros 3h ago
As soon as this guy stated "we haven't even talked about being exclusive" I already knew what kind of stupid man he is
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u/Specialist-Bat-390 4h ago
Haha right if a girl called me her boyfriend early I would think it’s cute if anything and tease her like “oh wow boyfriend??! Ah so we’re boyfriend girlfriend now or some shit idk make it funny
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u/Wednesday_Catwoman 6h ago
Some guys don’t want things to progress. They’re happy with going through the motions of having a gf without actually labeling things and claiming her as a gf and not committing to a relationship. I think that’s the part that bugs OP. He sees them as simply casually seeing each other and she apparently sees them as more seriously involved than just casually seeing each other.
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u/Key-Garlic-1177 12h ago
You’re reading too much into this.
Car dealerships often try and screw over women. She needed your help and support. You should feel honored she asked you. It’s clear she already trusts you and your opinion a lot! This is a good thing.
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u/Salty_Host_6431 12h ago
Exactly. The last time I went car shopping, the casual sexism some of the car salesmen showed to my wife and I was surprising to me, but not my wife. She often talks about how horrible it could be buying a car or finding a mechanic when she was single. And she’s a farm girl that knows more about basic mechanical stuff than most of my coworkers.
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u/hurrrdurrr117 11h ago
I sold cars for 4 months...wasnt for me
First person i ever sold a car to was a little old woman. Just chatted her up in the lot. She kept telling me how much she appreciated me treating her like a "dollar weilding customer" and not like someone's wife or grandma. We got her a car that "looked like it went really fast but didnt really" because thats what she wanted.
Gladys was her name.
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u/ancient_xo 12h ago
Pfft I read the title wrong and thought he was introduced to her bf .. the car salesman.
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u/iAmAMonth 12h ago
Before I read the whole thing I thought maybe she brought him to the car dealership where she works to introduce him to her coworkers lol
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u/_ShredBundy 10h ago
This. It’s either “this is my boyfriend” or “this the guy I’ve been speaking to for a month”.
Sometimes it’s just easier to say one thing over another. It ain’t that deep.
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u/BMXer972 10h ago
exactly. not everything needs to be expanded upon.
just this last weekend I was hanging with some new buds and a random guy asked how we knew eachother. most of the friend group knows eachother from high school except me but I wasn't going to go:
"well actually I just started hanging with these guys... blah blah blah" when it was so much easier to just go "yup, high school buds"
cause frankly he doesnt care, we dont care, and neither does the car salesman lol
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u/_ShredBundy 9h ago
Yup! Happens to me a lot whenever I go out with one of my girl friends. At least once in every outing someone will assume we’re a couple, and I go along with it because it’s just easier than not going along with it 😂
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u/PS4bohonkus 9h ago
Very much this. “Hi car salesman, I brought along this guy I’ve seen a few times over the last month, we haven’t really defined the relationship but I like him and I think he likes me, so it’s pretty promising so far. But I would still just say we are talking. We’ll see how the next couple months go” just doesn’t really roll off the tongue
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u/nexert233 11h ago
I don't understand why the person is dating this girl if he's already complaining about being called a boyfriend and helping her out with something. Seem perfectly natural to help out someone you like...
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u/Logan_510 12h ago
I don't think you needed to type anything after your first sentence ( not that the rest wasn't good, it was ).
He's definitely overthinking this.
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u/tjsr 10h ago
Even despite that, it's freaking bizarre that people would have an issue being referred to as a boyfriend if they only want to date one person at a time.
She thinks I'm making a big deal out of nothing
She is 100% correct. I'm surprised she hasn't told you she doesn't want you around anymore.
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u/NoTransition4354 11h ago
Just chiming in as a girl who got a car last year. I used to roll my eyes a bit at this dealerships take advantage of women thing.
I went in super armed with info.
While negotiating they try to tell me “MSRP” is the “manufacturer’s price” that it’s “how much it costs to make the vehicle in the factory” therefore they cannot sell it to me at MSRP.
I was so insulted they thought I’d fall for that I almost left + never came back. It was also said in a condescending way as if I should’ve known that/I was silly for trying to negotiate below MSRP.
Thankfully after that interaction with that salesperson (it was a girl too), I never saw her at the dealership again. Managed to a bit below MSRP for the trim I got.
E: if you’re going to pull one over me, at least use a more sophisticated tactic. She must have thought I was so so so stupid
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u/Otaraka 11h ago
I always wonder if it works enough that they continue doing it or its outright incompetence that costs them sales. Im betting the second.
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u/Witty-Reason-2289 11h ago
Maybe the MSRP story is what l they told her & she believed them. 🤣
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u/NoTransition4354 11h ago
See I’m a bit of a bleeding heart, so just in case that were the case (even tho she was acting kinda unfriendly to me), I didn’t lash out at her.
I just told her sth like “I don’t think so. MSRP stands for manufacturer’s SUGGESTED retail price” - she took a beat but still tried to double down and say that’s what the manufacturing price is called.
Atp I was vicariously embarrassed for her and didn’t want to keep grilling her on it..
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u/Scuba9Steve 11h ago
My wife is pretty knowledgeable as her dad is a mechanic and the most noticeable sexism I see is from dealerships.
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u/BbBonko 8h ago
It’s such a trope that she probably assumed you knew why she wanted you to go to a dealership with her.
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u/JaySlay2000 10h ago
Literally dude is just like "I've been on four dates with this woman... And presumably plan to continue with dates. Anyways, the girl I am dating trusted me to help her in this misogynistic ass world as a man that has the privilege to... I need advice! How do I make her stop relying on me as a partner when I'm trying to be her partner!"
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u/TacoCatSays 10h ago
I’m in a mid thirties and completely independent financially. My dad came with me when I had to buy a new car so I wouldn’t get screwed. The salesmen kept talking to my dad and asking him questions. We lost track of the number of times he had to redirect them to me, since I was paying for and driving the car which we had told them numerous times.
Definitely don’t read too much into this.
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u/SignalAmidTheNoise 12h ago
If you have that strong a reaction of her pretending you're her bf at a car dealership then you probably shouldnt date her. I can't think of a time a guy who liked a girl wiuld be upset about that...unless he really didn't like her.
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u/iAmAMonth 12h ago
Ugh his reaction is honestly so repulsive. I'm not even the girl and I want to "break up" with him over his childish reaction
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u/SignalAmidTheNoise 12h ago
I pretended a guy was my bf at a club to get another guy to stop bothering me. The pretend bf loved it, bought me drinks and asked me on a date. He didn't seem offended one second and I never even met him before lol.
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u/charmanchris0602 12h ago
Reading into wayyyyy to much
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u/bunnbarian 12h ago
What would you have preferred? You wanted her to tell the car salesman that you’re just dating and not exclusive yet?
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u/RustyCoal950212 12h ago
"Here's the guy I'm seeing, we've done over the pants stuff but that's all. Anyway no not looking to lease"
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u/MyGrandmasCock 11h ago
I do this same shit with my homies but I’m heterosexual. We walk into a dealership, they become my boyfriend.
What’s my reasoning, you ask? If the salesman treats her better because there’s a boyfriend in the room, imagine how he’ll treat TWO BOYFRIENDS.
I ain’t playin’ checkers here, fellas.
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u/Vlaxilla 7h ago
This is crazy. Next time im rolling with my 4 homies saying we are a poly quartet.
Imagine how they would treat 4 husbands. Its over for them, may as well pay me money to take their car
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u/SnackForagers 12h ago
Which would have caused another post……
“Why did she feel the need to say we weren’t exclusive?”
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u/LoanEarly5813 12h ago
Bro, like it’s not that deep honestly I would do the same exact thing. U have no idea how condescending men are towards women, especially when it comes to things like cars, real estate, investing into the stock market etc I could go on & on. If you’re tripping over something this small, please let that woman go to find someone else.
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u/CurrentMurky4185 12h ago
One time when I (woman) was at a car dealership by myself, the sales guy tried to helpfully explain the car buying process to me by comparing it to buying a pair of shoes. It was so condescending I left.
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u/countkahlua 11h ago
Sometimes I wonder if walking into the dealership looking like Aileen Wuornos would help.
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u/That-Dragonfly-9723 10h ago
A dealership tried to tell me the mechanic who had waived his inspection fee because he so strongly didn’t want me to buy the car & said it was garbage was lying & a fraud.
They kept at it until I started crying & gave them his number. Then suddenly it was a misunderstanding & they were gonna fix the car.
Thankfully I just left at that point but it really sucked.
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u/misalawliet 12h ago
Dude, she brought you so the salesman wouldn't try to screw her over. And that works a lot better if she just calls you her boyfriend instead of saying "this is the guy I brought to make sure you don't try to pull one over on me."
You absolutely are making a big deal out of nothing.
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u/TheMadTemplar 12h ago
God guys are morons. So many posts that are, "woman I went out with gave off major green flags and wants me around. I think something is wrong."
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u/Longjumping-Sir-7298 12h ago
I so agree with you. Finally someone see's it for what it is.
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u/NyanBull 9h ago
Ditto. Sometimes I feel bad for all the single guys out there dealing with today’s dating scene. Posts like this make me feel sorry for the women instead. How do you date guys like this??
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u/Eventidings 11h ago
That’s literally what this is like what the fuck 😂😭 Also after 4 dates it’s implied this might be heading towards relationship territory or else why the hell are you still seeing her (unless they agreed beforehand they’re not interested in a long-term relationship or something)
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u/Ok_Bumblebee_2196 11h ago
In this instance it sounds like he's ambivalent about the idea of committing to this woman, or there would be nothing to complain about here.
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u/FarmerEarly3342 11h ago
There isn’t anything to complain about bc she was using him as a buffer with the dealership. She should’ve maybe mentioned it before but as a woman who has had to deal with dealerships alone, they really don’t respect you at all unless a romantic dude is present to speak with
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u/Jupiter8storm 8h ago
And as a woman, she probably felt like her intentions were pretty clear and is surprised he didn't understand what was going to happen.
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u/Necessary-Score-4270 6h ago
As a 30 something guy I can't believe this 28yo man did not understand the mission here.
Like I can't tell you how many times I've had a female friend ask me to come to look at a car, go to the mechanic, or randomly walk up to me at a party and start the act. But I was raised mostly by a single mom and always had pretty strong protective instincts.
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u/Ok-Joke-915 6h ago
I defnitely heard this complaint before. I think it was little Jimmy in the playground in kindergarten. Flip man a lady in need, I could literally have been walking by and played fake boyfriend to back her up. A gentleman doesn't want a lady to be taken advantage of. Rather pathetic dude. One more incident like this and you kicked out the man club.
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u/Kindly-Animal7091 12h ago
You’re right. She should have said, “I’m looking at a used Mazda and this guy is with me. We’ve been on 4 dates and they went well, but we haven’t talked about being exclusive, so I won’t call him my boyfriend. I wouldn’t count this as a date, but anyway, like I said, things are going well and I hope this long rambling of explaining our current relationship status isn’t as awkward for you and him as it is for me.”
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u/tulsieeee 9h ago
Seriously though. Bro’s enraged that the guy at the Mazda dealership may now think their relationship is more serious than it actually is. Like come on 😂😂
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u/chirpchirp13 12h ago
You’re way overthinking this. I’ve played husband at a dealership no less than three times.
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u/adoodle83 12h ago
100% agree. i do this for a bunch of my female friends who don’t have a man, or someone else to assist them. i’ve seen first hand just how shady salesmen are to women, especially if the women aren’t super knowledgeable about cars
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u/steadydietofbagels 12h ago
the real pandemic is how guys in their 20s act like being called a boyfriend is the scariest and most offensive thing in the world
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u/Medical_Judgment_791 10h ago
Seriously, they hate commitment but need everything that comes with commitment. Can’t make this shit up.
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u/jennifercoolidgesbra 9h ago
This. As a woman dating now feels like you’re always on the cusp or close to becoming a ‘girlfriend’ and wait around and it’s too ‘scary’ of a conversation to discuss what you are or whether they want a relationship.
It’s exhausting when it goes on for 6-12 months. I’ve given up.
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u/xeropteryx 8h ago
Reverse psychology sometimes works in these cases, although I wouldn't suggest doing it on purpose. I can't tell you how many women I hear about who are cold, distant, indifferent, etc. to the guy they're seeing and tell him they're not looking for a boyfriend, only for the guy to instantly become obsessed with her. A lot of people only want what they can't have.
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u/Important_Onion5552 12h ago
You actually made a post to complain about this? You're gonna have a tough time trying to make it in the real world
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u/Talk-O-Boy 10h ago
“My gf hid in my arms during a scary movie. She said it was because I made her feel safe, but I just couldn’t get over the fact that she would cower as the monster slaughtered me. I understand her reasoning, but I feel a bit used.”
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u/MindlessYesterday668 12h ago
I would've been happy being called her bf and asked to come with her. That means something.
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u/Maleficent_Fruit1006 11h ago
You could have used this as a pivot to be like “so…are we boyfriend/girlfriend now?” instead of being a petty douche but oh well
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u/Mysterious_School558 12h ago
Youre way overthinking this and kinda being a dick about it. She needed your help dealing with sexism. No need to be mad about it or feel used.
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u/Intrepid-Struggle419 12h ago
You’re overthinking this. Why would she be like “this is the guy I’ve been on four dates with and we’re not exclusive” to a car salesman? Just saying boyfriend is easier dude. If you’re this bothered over something like this, you may not be ready for dating period.
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u/Tight_Jaguar_3881 10h ago
She wanted the car salesman to treat her decently. Nothing more.
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u/TheBigfootContessa 12h ago
Right? Like "hey this is OP, we've gone out on four dates, hooked up once, but he didn't stay over, so I know he likes his balls licked but not how he takes his coffee."
The salesman neither needed to know nor likely cared what the actual relationship was
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u/cuzitsthere 11h ago
I mean... That might throw the salesman off enough to get a kickass deal, idk...
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u/halster123 12h ago
Putting you in what position? This doesn't sound like it was awkward for you, its a white lie so she gets a better deal.
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u/allnatural559 12h ago
It's not like she was introducing you to her parents.
She needed help buying a car, that's all it was.
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u/TerribleJournalist95 12h ago
Do you even like her?
I would have left you over this reaction. It makes no sense. You sound like you have big time issues.
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u/Cultural_Bench_2544 12h ago
Yep. That's what I thought too. If something is not a hell yes, it's a hell no. OP is wasting this woman's time.
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u/182tinyvoices 12h ago
I went with my gay friend and told them that he was my husband, I did not know I was going to do that until I was there. I even know about cars, but as a woman it still helps to have a man with you because misogyny.
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u/MythosOfIlluna 12h ago
You felt used for that? Maybe you’re not ready to be dating, my dude …
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u/Tall-Payment-8015 12h ago
What did you want her to say at the car dealership? Good Lord, don’t go and help her if you’re gonna be like this.
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u/kevin2657 12h ago
Are guys these days really this sensitive? lol good lord dude! Made you feel what? You’re almost 30 also get ahold of yourself you are a grown man!
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u/Intelligent-Jello959 12h ago
THIS!!!!
dude act like she went on Instagram and posted him on “National Boyfriend Day”. She referred to him as her boyfriend to a random car salesman.
And these be the same guys who cries when they get no play from women and be virgins at 30.
I don’t know one guy who would have been bothered by this, especially after going on 4 dates with someone.
This is what women are talking about.. 4 dates in and is bothered by being titled as her boyfriend.. so what are you dating for , to waste time?
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u/abracadammmbra 11h ago
My wife did something similar to me after a few dates, although it was to ward off a guy trying to ask her out, not get a better deal on a car. But things were already moving in that direction anyway and I was happy to be exclusive. That was 8 years, a ring, and 2 kids ago so id say its working out well
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u/WhiteHotMess 11h ago
This is what I was thinking. I'm not going to go into the whole 'it's complicated' with every server, janitor and car salesman I meet. If I'm with you and someone else comes up with some interest, I just say boyfriend. It's just easier! We don't need to spend a lot of time defining ourselves and relationships to other people. Sheesh.
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u/shades0fcool 12h ago
My 34 year old friend ghosted this girl he liked after 3 months of talking because she invited him to her friends bday. Felt it was too soon.
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u/nobodyspecial712 11h ago
I wouldn't want to spend time with someone I was interested in either. Way too soon. pfft. /s
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u/tibearius1123 11h ago
Our species is doomed to reproduce at the rate of pandas.
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u/Single-Locksmith4190 12h ago
You're definitely reading too much into this. I would take this reaction as reason to pause and re-evaluate things if I were her.
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u/mustrepayloans 12h ago
But she told you she’s bringing you bc she needs your help . Is she supposed to say to the middle aged man we went on 4 dates which in lesbian dates it’s practically married ? Jfc she told a
White lie to be taken a bit serious at the dealership. Women ask for nothing and you still don’t have it
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u/SowingSeeds18 10h ago
Even considering nothing else, her calling you her bf simplifies things. It’s so much easier than “this is a guy I dated 4 times and am still interested in but we’re not exclusive yet. He just knows a lot about cars.”
Yes, she could’ve told you the full story. But maybe she didn’t want you to react the way you did and instead just hoped you’d feel flattered that your knowledge was impressive enough to trust you in that scenario.
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u/Ace-Redditor 11h ago
Seems like the dealership guy was the one who made it your problem, moreso than this girl. The girl doesn't really have a great way to introduce you to someone without being awkward
But the dealership guy talking solely to you was his choice, not hers. It's just that guy choosing to be a piece of crap and ignore a woman. If he hadn't been a piece of crap, you wouldn't have been "used," right? Seems like you were only meant to be there as a backup in case he sucked
Obviously a heads-up could've been nice, but she also might have assumed you knew ahead of time that dealership workers are generally awful toward women since it's such an extremely common experience
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u/Max1035 11h ago
This happens all the time, unfortunately, and not just with car salesmen. Contractors, repairmen, etc all want to talk to the “husband” or the “man of the house.” One basement repair guy even told my dad that my mom should go out of town while he does the work. My mom was literally standing right there, and why shouldn’t she be around to see the work completed?
One day I’ll have a cat to bring out whenever someone asks to speak to the man of the house. Obviously the cat will be neutered though so maybe the roofer guy still won’t talk to him.
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u/throwaway578833 12h ago
you’re reading way too much into it. Car dealerships and mechanics often times screw women over and having a man there will mitigate that.
She didn’t put you in any positions. She told a white lie
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u/Clio_Vita 12h ago
You're over thinking this...
I've had women I'm unrelated to call me boyfriend, brother, husband, father, fiance, and/or grandfather to get out of socially difficult situations. You've got to learn to roll with the social clues, and take it as the compliment that it is......that they trust you enough to do the right thing and back their play. And you DID, until afterwards when you blew up her trust by questioning it.
What you are supposed to do afterwards is smile and say, "Boyfriend... That sounds pretty nice. Let's work on that." And then shut up and let her take the lead.
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u/Savings_Yam_2647 11h ago
If this bothers you, I think you might have some bigger issues to deal with. You are going to exhaust this poor girl if this is how you react to things so irrelevant. Get out of your head, and maybe see a therapist or something.
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u/Superveryimportant 12h ago
I’ve taken guy friends with me and told the dealers they were my bf so they’d take me more serious and not try to rip me off. You’re reading too much into it.
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u/OnlyCoat4866 11h ago edited 11h ago
You felt like you were being used?
LMAO
How spineless are you. I hope you didn’t tell her that. Just move on
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u/throw7661 9h ago
I genuinely don't see a problem. She asked for your help, in an area you know about.
In the context of a car dealership, simply saying 'boyfriend' is entirely reasonable than describing whatever it is you guys have.
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u/GiraffesAreSoCute 12h ago
This is perfectly fine lol. Car dealerships are scum of the earth who love taking advantage of women. She's just playing her cards. She didn't go on a date with you for 4 weeks just to use you as a dealership midman, I'm sure she has other men in her life that could pose as a brother or something.
Unless she asked you to buy the car with your own money, this is beyond harmless. It just shows she does at least think things are going well between you two as well, and if anything maybe she is just dropping a hint.
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u/cactussword 12h ago
You are making a big deal out of nothing. I'm embarrassed for you.
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u/RescueMom20 12h ago
Do you know what it is like for women to walk into a used car dealership? I went to look at a used Mazda one time (I am F) and my husband met me there. He was there first so when he got there he sat in the showroom waiting for me. When I walked in, he was sitting near two of the salesmen that made some sexual comments about me and how they discussed which one of them was going to "help" me. He was so disgusted and walked me out of there. Thank you for going with her.
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u/cheapMaltLiqour 12h ago
Ask yourself if you would be making a similar post if in another timeline she called you just her "friend".
Get out of your own head dude.
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u/Low_Helicopter_2003 11h ago
Seems like you are making a big deal out of nothing as it was obviously done to help her get a car with someone you won't see again. If she starts telling other people the same, then be worried. Maybe ask yourself why you care? Do you picture being exclusive with her or were you not thinking that. If not, it doesn't matter anyway.
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u/BoatsnLadies28 12h ago
It’s not a big deal. I feel like she said that to make the possible transaction much easier for everyone there.
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u/OutlandishNonsense 12h ago
To most people outside America, if you’re dating regularly you’re boyfriend and girlfriend. It isn’t some big formal conversation about it. It’s just a description of what you’re doing not an exalted status
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u/Fit_Ring_7193 12h ago
What a loser! If this bothers you that much, go ahead and break up. She deserves better.
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u/MK-Deadstar 12h ago
Well you agreed to go with her, knowing full well why you were going and what her intentions were irregardless of the boyfriend moniker. I think you're definitely overreacting.
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u/-FakeAccount- 12h ago
She wanted your help at the dealership and wants you to be her boyfriend. If you like her, its a good thing.
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u/Present_Arachnid_683 12h ago
Please get off of social media. I can tell your algorithm consists of stories of people saying they got the ick for some dumb reason.
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u/AmoralLimbo 12h ago
Q: Why she called me her boyfriend
A: the last two dealerships she'd visited treated her like an idiot, so she figured bringing a guy would help.
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u/vooglie 12h ago
reading too much into it jfc no wonder your gen doesnt fuck lol
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u/Guns_and_Tea 11h ago
when I was dating a girl for a couple of months, and we were not exclusive, we went into a pharmacy and wandered in different directions.
I overheard her angrily say to some guy, “no I’m here with my boyfriend”, before storming off. She told me the guy was aggressively hitting on her.
I did not question her referring to me as her boyfriend, and found it quite flattering. We ended up dating for a few years and became very close.
OP take it as a compliment.
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u/RyanOctober 11h ago
Good god. If this is what “being used” to you means you’ve lived a very sheltered and easy life lmao
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u/Substantial-Quiet169 11h ago
C'mon dude. That's what we're there for. Does anyone feel used if a little old lady at the grocery store asks for a hand getting something off the top shelf? Grow up and maybe attempt being a man.
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u/cuzitsthere 11h ago
Last time that happened, I screamed "I AM MORE THAN MY HEIGHT!!!" and when she looked confused I had to follow up with, "No thanks, I'm married" before she got the hint.
Wimmin, amirite? please tell me y'all don't need a slash S
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u/brandysnacker 10h ago
Yeah, I’m not really sure where the being used part comes from… She asked him to go with her because she wanted his opinion. He was there and gave his opinion. Is he mad? She called him her boyfriend because I’m not gonna tell a car dealership guy like well. This is the guy I’ve been on four dates with LMFAO.
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u/bluefontaine 12h ago
If you feel used, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship. Once you’re seeing somebody you’re in a relationship with that person I don’t care if you’ve put a label on it. What do you consider a relationship? Men are so disgustingly selfish sometimes about things.
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u/AleroRatking 12h ago
Overthinking it. First off it's a smart move to make her seem less of an easy mark to the car salesman. Second it's a one time use of a word to a stranger
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u/MyroendraRN 12h ago
You are reading too much into this and I’m not sure why this would even bother you. The idea of being “used” is wild.
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u/Nervosia 11h ago
Well how would you of liked her to introduce you?
“Oh yea, this is the man I’ve been a date with 4 times. Just talking nothing official”
Plus do you not see her as a potential girlfriend? I feel like most men would of been surprised/flattered the girl they are going out with called them her boyfriend.
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u/Beautiful_Climate_18 12h ago
Pro tip: as a guy, if I go car shopping with a girl I'll hang back and let her take the lead. I "know nothing" about cars.
Then I can really see if the salesman is a good guy or if he's trying to pull a fast one.
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u/Doom_Corp 11h ago
Eh, most of the time if there's a man in the vicinity people will still defer to the man. My mom used to wear her wedding ring every time she had to make a big purchase to trick people into not knowing she's a single mom (I used the same technique with a fancier ring of mine whenever I was looking at apartments). She also was married to an auto mechanic and knew her shit (a cop didn't believe her when the rear axle of the Tahoe she was driving on the highway literally snapped and she kept that big boy in the lane).
I took over my fathers shop after he passed and I have a definitive uptick in female customers because, even though it was a bit of a learning curve, I know my shit now 4 years in and can communicate very honestly with people and women feel a lot more comfortable with another woman at the helm. A lot of the women (and sometimes men) in my life will show me their service invoice estimates from another shop or dealer to see if they're getting swindled. Sometimes it's reasonable, sometimes it's highway robbery.
All that being said...I will explain away exactly what is going on for a customers car, and a handful of male customers just want to talk to my head mechanic that will say the exact same thing to them because they don't think I have eyes, ears, or a brain.
Or they'll point blank say you look like you used to be a call girl in vegas when you're wearing a fucking turtleneck sweater.
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u/urbus82 12h ago
What the hell ... how else should she introduce you? as "the guy i had four dates with, maybe had sex, but not exclusive yet"? Besides that I still find it strange to even have "the exclusive talk" (for me after some dates its exclusive unless agreed otherwise) boyfriend is just a simple lable for the outside world who really are not interested in the complexity of your relationship
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u/MaudeAlp 12h ago
You are an almost 30 year old man. This reads like high school.
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u/Hour_Reality9727 12h ago
Oh no, a girl you like that you went on 4 dates with likes you. The horror!!
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u/NightGirl007 12h ago
It was a compliment. You have taken this way out of proportion and context. Speaking as a woman who has bought several cars and had very high level executive jobs, I can tell you there are times when getting treated unequal to a man just gets old. She took you to help her out, not to force you into an exclusive relationship. It was indeed a compliment.
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u/flipinggenius 12h ago
Come back when she introduces you as her brother. Then you might have a gripe.
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u/LongHikingMD 11h ago
She asked you to come. You said yes. How exactly have you been used?
No offense but you sound exhausting. You need to chill out. Badly.
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u/ChampionshipWarm9901 12h ago
You are absolutely reading too much into it… you feel used??? You gotta be fucking kidding me dude. She didn’t ask u to buy her a car she wants you to help her not get played. If you like her that shouldn’t be a fucking issue.
I seriously can not believe the way you’re taking this. Grow up, and get over yourself. Or leave her alone so she can deal with a man who is more mature.
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u/Restoriust 11h ago
She was incorrect to bring you. She considered you a reasonable person and you ended up being petty and dumb about a very minor thing
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u/tawalla-n-tabarra 11h ago
“I feel used” - then man the fuck up bro.
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u/VegetableTour6790 11h ago
I'd hope my single female friends would use me like OP. I don't want to see them get overcharged. No questions asked.
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u/2020shadow 12h ago
As a woman car sellers take advantage if you don’t have a guy there to buy. I once introduced a random friend’s mom’s occupational therapy patient as my dad because he was a former car salesman and offered to help my haggle. Obviously that guy wasn’t really my dad 😅
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u/JustTryinToLearn 12h ago
You’re reading waaaay too far into it. If you like her, why care if she calls you her BF for a better deal?
Car dealerships always try and take advantage of people if they can. Its not like you have a personal relationship with the salesmen that somehow is tainted because of this interaction.
I would just take it as a sign that she trusts having you with her in those situations as a form of protection. Now if she wanted to include you in the actual financing of the car then run for the hills
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u/No_Project_4738 12h ago
If she starts referring to you as her boyfriend anywhere else than the car dealership then yeah that’s a problem. But if it’s a one time thing and otherwise you like her, you may be overthinking it. So, do you like her?
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u/Resident-Motor-5967 11h ago
Do you dislike this girl so much that you can’t help her out at the dealership? She didn’t ask you to co-sign. You yourself said you know things about cars. Why was this a heavy lift for you?
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u/Boot_Burner 11h ago
Why would you go to a car dealership with anyone but your boyfriend, husband, or father? So you don’t get taken advantage of.
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u/cindytroforte 12h ago
Il faudrait qu’elle dise c’est le mec avec qui je couche ? Et t’es pas exclusif ? Ben alors lache la.
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u/Fabulous-Return9142 12h ago
I did the same thing to a guy I was only talking too. We went out on two dates and then my car broke down. I asked him to come for moral support and I introduced him as my bf, Guess what? He didn't freak out, we still talk but no longer romantically involved. No biggie
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u/Delicious-Claim-10 11h ago
You felt used for helping a woman reduce some of the casual misogyny women go through at car dealerships? Oh boy..
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u/Slow_Celebration_898 11h ago
What would you rather she have called you? A friend? Some guy I've gone on 4 dates with? A guy? Acquaintance. Like you would have been upset if she just called you a friend too I can imagine. Women face so much misogyny in life, but especially in car dealership places. She took advantage of your male privilege moreso than you imo
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u/Organic_Warthog7238 11h ago
You feel used because your potential gf/date thought of you as someone she looks for in opinion about a big thing in her life? Dude no way you’re 28 lmao
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u/skettu_ 7h ago
Okay so you choose
"Hi, how are you? This is my boyfriend and he knows more about cars than me"
Or
"Hi, how are you? This is some dude i've been on 4 dates right now and he seems to know more about cars than i do"
What you gonna tell to a complete stranger?
Don't overthink this one.
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u/jon_snow_1234 12h ago
she didn't introduce you to her parents as her boyfriend it was a used car salesmen . i don't see the issue.
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u/StarWolf478 12h ago edited 12h ago
She is right. You are making a big deal out of nothing, and if anything, you should take it as a compliment if you really like her.
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u/gym_bro_92 12h ago
If you have a problem with her calling you her boyfriend after 4 dates, you have issues you need to work through before dating anyone else.
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u/dinomax55 12h ago
Yes you’re making a big deal out of nothing. You don’t understand what she was trying to accomplish?
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u/LuckyCod2887 12h ago
bro. she needed your help. let her call you her bf. you can leave or stay as you please. don’t worry about the title she gave you.
your complaint is that she likes you more.
and u are not being used. she needed help. you guys are still friends even if you are dating.
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u/sweatycatlord 12h ago
You’re acting like the car salesman is her parents. In what world is a car salesman knowing you are her boyfriend, going to affect your life at all??
You should have been happy to have a moment to shine in front of her and do something nice for someone else, but instead you are making it “me me me”. Seriously? Why are you even dating if you just want everything to be about you.
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u/SimplySuzie3881 11h ago
Car dealer? It’s just easier. She didn’t “use” you. She clearly asked for help and you agreed. She didn’t put you on the spot. You are a boy, and her friend. Her best friend or coworkers then you might question it. They are in her life and matter. You are never seeing this car guy again. Don’t overthink it. Be thankful she trusted your opinion and keep rolling.
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