Recently discovered i was bisexual.

Remembered this guy who called me that bad gay word and I decided to go back and tell him he was right.

Another thing I remembered was my cousin saying "If I land this your gay" and missed so he said "If I land this you are bi" and he landed it. So uhh yeah my cousin discovered i was bi before I did.

Im not gonna tell anyone because my whole friend group is woke bisexual christians and if I tell anyone it will just get repetitive. So i gotta be unique.

Idk if this is against the community rules but yeah.

So I have started having feelings for men for a while but I still love women. Especially my wife and I have came to terms I’m bisexual after researching several lgbtq sexuality’s that would fit ehat I was starting to fill.

Now I just want to tell my wife I’m bisexual because I’d absolutely love to explore with men. But only with her permission of course but I’m absolutely nervous and terrified she’d hate me or want a divorce or even maybe just be disgusted with me. I just need advice on how to tell her.

I don’t even know if she’s homophobic either.

Hi all, I'm working through something with my therapist and would love to hear from people raised in India. The context is someone getting ready to come out to his parents back home, but your experiences help whether you're LGBTQ+ or not.

\- Have you disagreed with your parents about something big? How did it go?
\- Did you ever just agree to disagree? How did you both move on?
\- How did you get your parents to treat you as an adult?
\- (*Optional, LGBTQ+ folks)* If you came out to your parents, what helped most?

Thank you, it genuinely means a lot.

So i am out to 4 ppl my brother, sister, and 2 friends, 2 of 4 asked me, i told 3 of 4 in text, I still have most of my family who don't know, I keeo going "why should I need to come out" to "maybe i should come out" I tell myself I dont care if ppl find out and that's mostly true, but then I don't take chances when given to say anything and get all awkward, I think there is part of me that feels shame, I dont think it's necessary i am ashamed I'm gay just... i don't really know how to explain it.

If anyone has any advice on what I should do I'd greatly appreciate it, I am awkward shy and struggle with talking about how I feel with my loved ones, a hard time being vulnerable.

I am a 26 year old gay male, my family is safe to tell

I (17M) came out as bisexual to my dad around two months ago (blurting out that I had sex with a guy during an argument after confessing that I’m atheist), and he’s been a burden ever since. He thinks I’m “confused,” even though I’ve been feeling this way for around a year now, which I think is long enough to understand my own feelings.
We’ve talked about how he would feel if his son turned out to be gay before I came out to him. He told me things like, “I wouldn’t be mad or upset by it. I would condone it, but I wouldn’t support it,” and “I’d still want you to be a man.” Now that I’ve come out to him, he still holds these assertions.
Recently, he asked me whether I was still attracted to men. When I confirmed that I was bisexual, he pressed me to say which gender I liked more, insisting, “But which one do you like more?” It felt as though he needed me to choose between men and women before he would take my sexuality seriously. He also asked me if I’m the “top or the bottom”, passionately explaining that he wants me to at least be the top because I’m the man and I’m supposed to be a provider. It feels like he needs me to choose between men and women before he’ll take my sexuality seriously. He tells me that he doesn’t care if I’m gay as long as I’m “the man,” which makes me feel like his acceptance is conditional on me meeting his expectations of masculinity.
What makes this interaction particularly difficult to process is that he relapsed and drank that same day he questioned whether I was still attracted to men. The timing has made the day especially confusing and emotionally difficult for me. I don’t know whether the two things were connected, and I don’t want to assume that they were, but having to deal with his questions about my sexuality and his relapse on the same day left me with a lot to process.
The problem is that I don’t think being a man means having to conform to a particular set of standards. When I tried explaining that I wasn’t going to live up to his expectations of what a man should be, he became agitated and assumed I meant that I wanted to be a woman. It seems like he sees gender in black and white: if I’m not the kind of man he expects me to be, then I must want to be a woman. But that isn’t what I’m saying at all. I’m comfortable being a man; I just don’t want my masculinity dictated by someone else.
What makes this more confusing is that my dad has told me he’s experienced homosexual desires himself. We’ve discussed our experiences, but he still seems unable to accept that I’m bisexual. He seems to interpret my sexuality through his own experiences, and I don’t know whether that’s part of why he struggles to believe me.
There’s also the situation involving West Hollywood. My dad had originally planned a trip to Santa Barbara with me, but when those plans changed, he suggested taking me to West Hollywood, specifically Santa Monica Boulevard. When he suggested it, he made the comment, “because you like all that shit.” He was intoxicated at the time, and given our conversations about my sexuality, the remark felt loaded and insinuating. I found it offensive because it made me feel like he was reducing my interests and sexuality to something he could make assumptions about. Rather than feeling like he was simply suggesting a place to visit with his son, I felt singled out, as though my sexuality was the reason he was bringing me there. He later explained that it was a replacement for the Santa Barbara trip, but I’m still unsure whether he genuinely just wants to spend time with me or whether he sees the trip as a way to understand, test, or verify something about my sexuality. I don’t want to assume I know exactly what he intends, but the way he brought it up made me uncomfortable and hurt.
Recently, he’s also been telling me that he feels he’s failed me because he wasn’t present enough and wishes he’d made different decisions. I genuinely don’t see him as a failure, but he keeps insisting that he has failed me. He has apologized for everything and said that he would definitely stop drinking, but his relapse makes it difficult for me to know how to interpret those promises. He also told me he was starting to feel sick, although I’m not sure whether he meant physically sick or something else.
I care about my dad, and I don’t want him to feel like a failure, but I also don’t feel entirely comfortable around him (ignoring his overwhelming amount of texts often). I don’t want to pretend that we’re closer than we are just to reassure him. His reaction to my sexuality (and beliefs on god and religion but that’s a different story) has made things more difficult between us, and I feel like I’m being put in the position of having to reassure him while he continues to question something I’ve already been honest about. His drinking adds another layer to the situation because I care about him, but I don’t know how much emotional responsibility I should be taking on or how to respond when he makes promises that he doesn’t follow through on.
I guess what I’m asking is: How do I navigate this relationship? Is there a way to help him understand that being bisexual doesn’t make me less of a man, without having to keep defending my identity? How should I interpret his behavior, especially his guilt about being a father, his questions about my sexuality, and his relapse? And how can I maintain a relationship with him without feeling responsible for his emotions or having to compromise who I am?

Edit: I don’t know if some of these questions are the right place to ask but answers to some would be very much appreciated. Also feel free to ask questions! im very open to answering them!

I want to thank my older brother (May he rest in peace) for coming out first in the 90s and letting me and my cousin come out in peace and with no worries of hate from family.

my lil sibling is 14 and about a week ago, they told me they thought they might be non binary or gender fluid since one gender felt very limiting to her, i was supportive because i am bisexual myself, then she asked if she should tell our older sister too, i said no because i’m not sure about her views on trans teens, i was pretty sure she would have a bad reaction and make my sibling doubt themselves. but they still decided to come out to my older sister, and it was in an awkward time too, we were all just sitting in silence and scrolling on her phones and they decided to say “big sis, i think i might be non binary” my sister was very stressed with her job at the time so i knew it wasn’t a good time. i know my sibling is a teen and wants to express themselves but i want them to be able to be safe and have a good relationship with the family too. my sister immediately started questioning her and doubting her after, she talked about how my sibling’s influenced by social media and that they don know anything about themselves, then we all just sat in silence and my sibling tried to change the topic. my sibling and sister’s relationship has changed ever since and i don’t know what to do about it

Sorry! Never made a Reddit post before, so i'm prepared to face the wrath of the 'mods', but I am just wondering if anyone on this subreddit would mind offering their insight on my current situation.

I am gay, and have been in the closet for ~6 years now, the only people I have EVER told are two of my bestfriends, after telling them, I was hit with just how hard the weight of living a lie, (to myself AND others) affected me and my mental health over the year. This joy and boost of confidence has now inspired me to let OTHERS close to me know as well, unfortunately, my family is nosy enough to find out once anybody else knows.

Thus, it is inevitable that my family finds out, SO, I call anybody who is willing to help to share their opinion. It is also important to note, my mother and father are my leading concern, the rest of my family poses no importance in my mind.

The leading reason of my fear, is when 6 years ago, I asked my mother "What do you and Dad think of Gay people?", in an effort to prep myself for coming out, as you've heard it has been 6 years, you can imagine how it went. Lots of talk of devils, demons, and, ya know. Eternal Torture. My mother claims she is a bit more chill with it, but my father is more of the issue.

Surprisingly, my mother today seems to have chilled out slightly, my cousin come out as nonbinary, and ​after a series of debates, (As I am the only progressive person in my family), she agreed to follow their preferred pronouns. She is still very religious, and Is quite mad at my apperant lack of faith.

The REAL issue is my father, he is a full, beer drinking, walk around shirtless, Trump voting, CRAZY conspiricist. And as my mother told me, he appears to be the final boss of my coming out. One time I got my nails painted pink, and he crashed out and tried to get a rid of it, (it was on too hard 😼). He also, just a year ago, didn't allow my younger brother to play the flute because "kids at school will bully him for playing a "girly instrument""

He isn't DIRECTLY a Christian, he thinks their is a god, but it was actually Aliens on earth in the Bible, if that changes anything.​

If this helps, and interesting situation was when one of my Theater directors was gay, and I was nervous to tell my parents, and they were like "you think thats gonna make us not like him?".

In summary, they have all the common characteristics of a homophobe, but seem relatively lax In terms of actual homophobia. It makes me think that they might be chill with the concept, just only if others engage in it? Like a "not in this house" kind of deal?

It does make me feel kind of bad, as I am the A+, popular, productive, "future haver" of my four siblings, but i have already sullied my reputation by not being a conservative, so what the hell.

Sorry for the pseudo-rant, but im curious on thoughts about this situation, or maybe some questions to test the water first? Please be honest, if you think its too risky, i've waited 6 years, i can wait a few more.

Lastly, thanks to you all for surviving this poorly written rant, and remeber Mods, my fate is in your hands!

Ok here we go ….. I’m a 45 year old man. Ever since my adolescence I’d say 7 or 8 years old. I knew I was attracted to men. My family and extended family were very clear about men being strong, they don’t cry, they get a job get married and have a family. Thats how I was raised and what I observed growing up especially from my father and his many brothers. So I was with a women for many years we married and have two amazing children and I provided that life.
Three years ago out of the blue my wife left me. Which was horrible and great from so many reasons.
I had to move to another city due to work about a 20 months ago. Now I’m completely alone in this new city where there is absolutely no one I know. So I do the internet thing and start meeting up with men.
Prior to this I had never been with a man in any capacity physically. And I’m finally my authentic true self that was buried inside me long ago. It’s like I can finally breathe for real. So I’m doing my thing and not in any way was I looking for a serious relationship. And I even made a few friends from being out there meeting new people. So in March of this year I go and meet up with a guy thinking .. one a done. We met the next day and the day after that. And it’s been 8 months now. And he is fuxking amazing in every way.
We have a great relationship. So how to I go about telling my family this … I’m in a relationship with an amazing man we care deeply about each other and make each other happy. Because I want to tell them regardless of their responses. I apologize if this is more of an essay than a Reddit question. I just downloaded the app and made my profile today. I thought some back story would help me get more accurate responses and helpful info. I’m gonna press the post button up top now. Fingers crossed. Let’s see what happens.

- I have decided to stick with LOVE♥️,hate is too great a burden to bear.

Throwaway account for obvious reasons

I always knew I liked women for as long as I can remember. I sometimes doubted the fact that I liked men, but recently got into a relationship with a man when I was in the middle of a hypomaniac episode (which I didn't realise at the time).

I adore him, but I don't think I like him romantically.

I sometimes have dreams of getting a girlfriend, the song "stop the wedding" makes me cry, same thing for "good luck, babe", I don't see myself spending the rest of my life with him

Even though he is incredible as a person as well as a boyfriend, I just want a girlfriend, and he isn't

I usually have a very bad mental state during winter, so I think I will wait until then and then tell him that I'm not in a mental state in which I want to be in a relationship

But am I really a lesbian or is he just not a man I love ? Did something similar happen to anyone else ? Or just insight from anyone who realised they were a lesbian while they were with a man ?

(tldr at the end) so about two weeks ago, i wrote about coming out to one of my best friends, which went extremely well. it is important to note that before high school ended, I settled with a group of four (me, two guys G and S, and a girl L). i am incredibly close with each of them, but although i became close with L most recently, she knew the most about me and how i was bi since she had figured it out on her own. S is the one i came out to two weeks ago, which is its own post you can find on here.

S and i agreed that it felt wrong having G being the only one who didn’t know, so i decided to bring it up when G, L, and I met up over fall break from college (S is far away). i never ended up bringing it up in person (as i felt this was something i wanted to discuss between G and i alone), so i called G that night close to midnight. and let me just say, that call lasted until 4:30 in the morning.

coming out to G was much more complicated than S. he is friends with one of the guys i had a situationship with (S doesn’t know this guy personally, so it would he hard to digest for G), and most importantly, i actually had a crush on G before i eventually got over it and only see him as a brother. G has also shown some closed-mindedness surrounding queer topics. however, once i brought my being bi up (through making G guess which one of my college friends i have a crush on), one of the first things G said when it was established was:

”i hope you didn’t think that S nor i would react to this negatively, right?”

this is when i finally felt relief like no other. i had only gotten closer to S in 2024-2025, but G and i had been friends since middle school, and close since pretty much 2021-now. but he took it so unimaginably well.

however, the conversation escalated. G and i kept talking about more personal things, and we even shared personal traumas in our own lives that no other friend knows about except me and him. it was after this conversation that it felt like every boundary had been transcended, and i finally said that i had something to say and i couldn’t go on with my life knowing i never told him. i told G that not only was i bi, but that i’d liked him too. and when i said this, he took it so, so well and he reaffirmed that it changed nothing (we kept talking for another hour).

all in all, i just have so much happiness in my heart because my mind had told itself, “these three are my group for life” during senior year. to think that these two token-straight guys were able to understand this part of my life mere months since we graduated is insane (i had truly never intended on telling them this early on), and the truth is, S and i have actually been calling more frequently since i told him, and i know it’ll be the same with G and i especially with the depth of what we talked about. i’m just the happiest guy on earth right now.

tldr: came out to one of my best guy friends S two weeks ago, went really well, came out to my other best guy friend G that i‘ve known much longer and even liked in the past last night, he took it just as well. i even managed to tell G that i’d liked him in the past, he didn’t even blink an eye, and we talked about even deeper topics that just transcended all boundaries and made us closer than we’ve ever been. nothing has changed between me and either friend; in the two weeks since i’ve told S, we’ve been talking even more, and i know it will be the same story with G.

—-—

update: it’s been two days since our conversation. G texted me the day after, saying this word for word:

”I also have been meaning to say I enjoyed our call and am glad you feel comfortable enough to share all you did with me. Don’t ever feel pressured to tell me anything, but if you want to, I’m always happy to have a late night call, and like I said, judgement free zone.”

i have been over the moon about both S and G accepting me (obviously), but i kept trying to pinpoint what made them both accept me so easily despite both of their sometimes closed-minded takes and unconscious light homophobia. honestly, i think it’s just what i’ve given them throughout our friendship. I helped S figure out how talk to the girl he liked (they just passed their year anniversary), and I helped him make his poster for her for prom 2026. these are both deeply personal things to him. on the other hand, for G, i have always been an open ear for him when it came to stuff regarding himself, whether it be hair, fashion, or more. most importantly, we bonded over letting go of an ex-close friend to both of us, K. This guy K was actually the first straight guy i told i am bi/liked G (back in 2022). we remained close for years and i considered him my best friend, but this was before things started fizzling out, years in the process. K was also very close with S and G before, but upon dropping K after graduation, G and i had a very serious conversation about it in which he shared that he also hadn’t liked K, but for longer than i even did, which was super surprising. but i digress.

the point in me bringing up these situations is because i realized that despite what stereotypes or prejudices these two might harbor, clearly they see my friendship with them as miles more significant than my sexual orientation (as it always should be). i was expecting that after telling them, they’d slowly distance themselves and reach out less, start acting awkwardly, or make my sexual orientation a taboo topic to talk about (i forced this to not happen by continuing to bring this up multiple times in both conversations well after i’d already established it; i was leading by example by showing that i’m not shy to talk about it even though i absolutely am), but that hasn’t been the case for either of them; in fact, it’s been the opposite. i honestly find it so surreal that this was even a possible outcome, hence why i’ve been so elated since telling S and obviously even more since telling G. i have found my friends for life :)

mild TW: a bit of body dismorphia..

Sooooo.... This is gonna suck..

(btw this is when I still identified as a female, Im Genderfluid now)

It started when I was really thinking about who I liked. I started having crushes on girls so I was fine with it. But I didn't know if my parents would be fine with it so for almost a year i pretended I was straight. It sucked.

I wanted to be more open with my parents especially since I have a bad relationship with my mother. I first came over to to my mom, she didn't really care but she did give me this LGBTQ book for teens.

Soon I was trying to be more open with her about my girl crushes but she would get mad at me and tell me I don't know who I like yet because I'm still young. What I'm trying to figure out is when you thought I was straight you were completely fine with knowing who I liked but now knowing that I'm bisexual it's a problem?

I just wanted her so fully accept me...

Soon I came out to my dad. I've always had a wonderful relationship with my father. He was a bit shocked but he supported me and even spread the word to a lot of the family so they supported me too. I wish I can get the same from my mom but...its whatever.

Though I haven't been in a relationship with a female I still find females attractive and I even have a queerplatonic partner that is a girl(sorry about how random this is).

At the beginning ofnthe summer my gender started getting weird. I felt uncomfortable with having a female body on some days but love it in other days.

I started to kinda get angry from being called a she/her and I didn't know why. I started doing research on why I felt this way and I was confused on whether I was non binary or genderfluid. I did an experiment With my best friend/queerplatonic partner. I told her to call me he/him/they/them pronouns to see what u was more comfortable with.

Some days he/him felt right and some days it was weird. I settled on genderfluid and I am proudly genderfluid. I started getting my friends to call me by my name but also another name I picked for myself (I'd rather keep it private)

I finally felt happy with finally figuring out my gender....until it came the final boss, coming out. about 3 weeks ago I came out to my mother. again she didn't care and I asked her so you support me. she said "I have to support you. your my daughter I don't have a choice". that kinda got me mad because that made me feel like she didn't want to support me but she has to.

I started being open about it but I still haven't come out to my dad. im fine with him seeing me as his daughter. I have to deal with my transphobic brother though(before you say anything hear me out... genderfluid is under the trans umbrella). he kept telling me that I was delusional and that I'm a girl and will always me a girl no matter what.

it didn't bother me too much but I did vent to my friends. as I was being more open with being genderfluid..my mom got more mad. 2 days ago I was telling her how since I'm genderfluid I'm trying to normalize people calling me by a different name. she said " sure your genderfluid..you probably just learned that from the Internet". first of all I had to RESEARCH on the Internet to find out I was genderfluid because of how I felt.

just to other day I asked her if she can buy me a chest binder because I'm a bit insecure about my chest in the days I. feeling more masculine. she told me "no, your taking this too far. it can give you cancer." no it won't, you just want me to be your perfect little girl forever. this is exactly why I didn't want to come out to her, I knew that she would never be ok with it.

she will never accept me as her son. She will never accept me as her genderfluid child. She will never accept me for who I am. She assumes that that if I'm not what she says I am I'm delusional, I learned it from the Internet, people are putting things into my head.

I just want to be me, to feel comfortable in my own skin but I can't even get support from the one person who is supposed to love me unconditionally. And I want to tell her more things about myself.

I want to tell her that I'm an atheist (she's a Christian). I want to tell her that I have a queerplatonic partner. I want to tell her so much about me but I can't because I couldn't even get support from her for something as little as my sexuality and gender identity.

Shoot this became a vent really fast😅😅😅 sorry about that.

But there is my journey with coming out. It was a complete bust and now I know I will never be accepted by my mother... Damn this is sad but thanks for letting me tell you about my experience with coming out. Im am so grateful that I still have people who support me even if my own family won't.

Have a great day yall

https://reddit.com/link/1x3qr9y/video/qxpmomwhayuh1/player

Also a little video to lighten the mood😜

Thanks to all of you on here who have given me courage to make the first steps of coming out at 48. I appreciate your stories and support.