r/cleandadjokes • u/MrEscobar187 • 12h ago
I told my boss I needed a raise because three companies were after me
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He asked, “Which companies?” I said, “The gas, power, and water companies”.
r/cleandadjokes • u/hacksawjim89 • 23d ago
🥇 Joke of the Month 🥇 I ate a couple synonym rolls this morning.
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I got thesaurus throat I've ever had.
r/cleandadjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 10h ago
Teacher: Make a sentence using the word “benign”.
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Me: When my little brother has his next birthday, he will benign years old.
r/cleandadjokes • u/MrEscobar187 • 3h ago
Why did the bicycle fall over?
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It was two-tired.
r/cleandadjokes • u/Street-Network-4496 • 5h ago
Lonely guy
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with.
r/cleandadjokes • u/spacemouse21 • 5h ago
What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
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It let out a little wine.
r/cleandadjokes • u/MrEscobar187 • 19h ago
My dad died because we couldn’t remember his blood type.
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His last words were ‘Be positive’
r/cleandadjokes • u/Dry-Aioli-6138 • 8h ago
I rolled some wool in my fingers
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It felt so good.
r/cleandadjokes • u/Left-Distribution-13 • 19h ago
What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?
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Candy corneas.
r/cleandadjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 1d ago
I Regret Going Down This Rabbit Hole
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Seeing bunny colonoscopy puns are RARE but there's NO WAY I'm going down that rabbit hole.
r/cleandadjokes • u/SugarConstant4296 • 1d ago
What did the exhausted dad say to his coffee mug this morning?
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Words cannot espresso how much I need you right now.
r/cleandadjokes • u/spacemouse21 • 1d ago
What kind of music do chipmunks like most?
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Chip-hop!
r/cleandadjokes • u/under_reconstruction • 2d ago
How much dirt can you get out of a hole 3’x3’x3’?
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None. If you take any dirt out, the hole is no longer 3’x3’x3’.
Edit: wording
r/cleandadjokes • u/ThimbleBluff • 2d ago
Did you hear the Russians launched a potato into space?
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They call it Spudnik
r/cleandadjokes • u/nixtarx • 2d ago
All illegally downloaded movies...
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...are rated arr.
r/cleandadjokes • u/APonyWithRhythm • 2d ago
Son: Why is the dog eating that stick?
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Me: Wooden chew like to know
r/cleandadjokes • u/spacemouse21 • 2d ago
What did the rain say to the sun?
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Water you up to?
r/cleandadjokes • u/Huge-Carpenter-8699 • 2d ago
Knock Knock - Who's There? - Tuscaloosa - Tuscaloosa who?
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Tuscaloosa on older elephants
r/cleandadjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 2d ago
I just found out that I'm going to be in a vampire movie.
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It's not a big role; just a bit part...
r/cleandadjokes • u/Coralthesequel • 3d ago
Two melons are secretly in love
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The boy melon suggests they run away and get married
The girl melon says "I cantaloupe"
r/cleandadjokes • u/Roaming-Monk-258 • 3d ago
What did Tennessee?
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The same thing Arkansas!
r/cleandadjokes • u/Ripcord2 • 3d ago
What if Henry Ford had invented the airplane?
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It would not have been Wright.