He says "I texted my girlfriend last night and meant to say 'the movie was great' but instead I typed 'the move with you was great.' She was confused but when I told her the mistake we laughed."

His friend says "I know what you mean. I texted my wife last night and meant to say 'I love you and couldn't live without you.' But instead I typed 'I hate you, you're a crazy bitch. You've ruined my life.'"

2 comments

r/Unclejokes • u/Beautiful_Donut6412 • Aug 28 '26

sexual When I was young my ejaculate would only squirt a few inches.

240 Upvotes

But as I got older I got it to squirt so far I actually won the longest squirt at the Masturbation Olympics.

It's truly amazing how far I've come.

11 comments

r/Unclejokes • u/unholyshitballs • Aug 22 '26

I've never killed a mountain lion...

81 Upvotes

But I've choked a courgar

11 comments

r/Unclejokes • u/Biscuit_1997 • Aug 22 '26

My Indian friend spends a lot of time in the toilet

0 Upvotes

His name is Gopi(Go pee)

3 comments

r/Unclejokes • u/DRJA5 • Aug 19 '26

sexual What’s the first symptom of AIDs?

40 Upvotes

A pounding sensation in your ass.

2 comments

r/Unclejokes • u/Aggressive_Pear • Aug 18 '26

sexual My girlfriend went to a big butt competition.

56 Upvotes

I came in 2nd afterwards.

5 comments

r/Unclejokes • u/Monkey_the_dragon • Aug 18 '26

I recently started dating a girl with A cup titties..

149 Upvotes

Apparently, going on a date shouldn’t be called “I’m having a beer with my flatmate”

3 comments

r/Unclejokes • u/Corvette-Ronnie • Aug 18 '26

A man was convicted of stealing $100,000 worth of medication meant to deal with premature ejaculation but received only 3 years of probation.

10 Upvotes

Sounds to me like he got off too easy

2 comments

r/Unclejokes • u/TrimmingsOfTheBris • Aug 16 '26

"How could you cheat on me?!" the disgruntled wife shrieked at her husband. "And with a man no less!!!"

145 Upvotes

"I'm so sorry, babe" he replied. "I wasn't thinking straight."

5 comments

r/Unclejokes • u/chuckycastle • Aug 14 '26

sexual What’s the difference between jam and jelly?

75 Upvotes

I can’t jelly my dick in your ass

12 comments

Subreddit

jokes to tell your brother's kids but not your kids

r/Unclejokes

Jokes that you don’t tell your children but your brother’s children are fair game.

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Share the jokes your uncle told you--the ones your parents hope you forgot.

Gross and raunchy jokes are cool, but anything sexual related to minors will get your ass banned.

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1. Follow Reddit's Site Wide Rules

2. No Pedo Jokes

This will earn you a permanent ban.

3. Respect others, no ragebait.

Please remember to keep comments civil. No racism, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, body shaming, etc. Please remember to report that type of content.

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Report the unmarked ones, we will remove your post. Please we don't wanna see some nsfw content if you don't want to. Mark em or your post will be removed

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