As stated above. A Russian bot farm was destroyed yesterday by Ukraine. There have been reports on other platforms that since the strike there has been a dramatic decline in trolling and disinformation. Curious whether anyone has seen a decline here.

Just wanted to share something a little positive during these dark times.

I (37F) had to go to the gynecologist for abnormal bleeding and some pretty painful tests. Today, I was sitting in the waiting room to get my results, and this tiny toddler, just barely big enough to walk, kept coming into my corner to tell me something I could not for the life of me understand.

I tried to be sweet with the baby even though she kept pointing at my stuff and trying to tell me something. The mother was in the exam room, and the father was watching something on his phone with the volume on (which is already pretty bad etiquette at the doctor's).

This is a space where people get bad news like cancer diagnoses, miscarriages and more. (Luckily, while they cannot explain my abnormal bleeding for now, they seem to have ruled out most immediately concerning causes like malignancy.) The AFAB people sitting there might enjoy the distraction of a cute baby, or they might find it distressing. They are definitely NOT there to entertain someone else's child. This dude did not once check in with me, say "is my kid bothering you?" or anything. He laughed, then looked back at his phone. Why was he even there?

I really wish gynecologists would have separate waiting rooms for kid/pregnany-related stuff and other issues. This would have been incredibly hard for someone who just got an infertility diagnosis or similar.

TW: infertility

My parents are getting very old and I live on the other side of the country from them.

My mom wants me to come home for thanksgiving. And she was really sad-texting me and it actually kind of broke my heart.

It would cost me about $1000 to go home, and normally I’d swing it, but this year has been hard for my husband and I. After two years of infertility we decided we are not going any further with treatments.

Meanwhile my brothers wife is pregnant and he had a 3 year old. I have like 6 cousins who are coming who are either pregnant or have kids in tow. My family is extremely child-focused, which is so sweet, but I just can’t do it.

I’m the only person in my family EVER who has had infertility and fully failed (I have a cousin who got a baby through IVF). Infertility is such a unique kind of pain and it’s very confusing. You can be a loving aunt and excited for a friend’s pregnancy, but also bitter and angry and jealous at the same time to the point where you’re just hating yourself.

I just can’t do it this year. I DEFINITELY don’t want to pay $1000 for the privilege. But I honestly think you need to experience infertility to understand why it’s so hard to go to Thanksgiving.

Like I said my parents are old and I’m worried if I don’t go I’ll never see them again or something. But I guess that’s irrational. They’re in good health.

Idk just hoping someone here can relate? I’ve found the infertility subs to be the opposite of supportive

Jackie Kashian, Phoebe Robinson, Maria Bamford, Aparna Nancherla, Jena Friedman, Rosebud Baker, Tig Notaro, Amy Miller, Laurie Kilmartin, Sabrina Jalees, Janelle James. I could go on.

These are all magnificent, hard-working writers and performers who deserve our attention.

The comedy world has always been dominated by unfunny dudes who want to be edgy.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

It takes SO much work, stamina, and perseverance for women to even get their voices heard on stage. Please check out these talented artists I mentioned, and add your own suggestions.

Not even AI Assistants are safe lmao

I found out tonight that my boyfriend of 2.5 years has been cheating on me. He denies it (says it's just how they talk and they've never been sexual) but he also admits to having deleted a bunch of messages that made their relationship look bad.

I've told him before that if he ever cheated on me I would break up with him. I never thought he would, and now that it's happened...I want nothing more than to pretend it won't happen again and forget it all. I told him in not so many words that it was over but it hurts so bad.

People who have been here before, please tell me it gets better. It hurts so bad right now and I can't stop crying and it doesn't feel real. I thought I found the perfect man and he blindsided me.

So today my teacher told me in the kindest way that I smell and the other teachers think so too. i wont lie i was really taken aback by this cuz i always thought i had good enough hygiene. I put on deodorant before school and shower everyday and wash my clothes like every week. Dont know where I might be going wrong.

Tho I can smell very bad down there and I have 0 clue on how to take care of my feminine part, but I do think my teacher would have mentioned a fish-like smell. Still, guidance would be great

Any tips and information would be great, even if they sound basic af. Im actually really worried if everyone thinks i smell badly and im just oblivious. Thanks a lot x

I just assumed he was fine. Doing his own thing. I saw that he would look at my insta stories sometimes and it would bring me such joy to see that, but did I say anything? No. And wtf!? Why? Why not!? Complacent I guess. ‘Things are fine for me, they’re probably fine for him.’ But they weren’t. And I didn’t know. And then he was gone.

I try to help as much as i can buy it is almost nothing to be honest. My dad's working in another city.We have a maid for doing the dishes yet i feel it's just wasting her time. I work 9-5 and after i come back i utilise the remnant time for studying to switch. I try my best to help but it's just not enough. All in all i think household chores occupy 70% chunk of her day and I feel bad. She deserves a lot more free time for herself, living her life.

How do you guys make your mum's life easier ?

And that’s exactly the problem. People wanted me ONLY BECAUSE I was “pretty”.

Do you know HOW many men have told me they wanted to date me, they were “in love” with me or “loved” me? And the ONLY one that truly meant it was my FATHER?

Not to mention those same men that were “so in love” with me treated me like absolute GARBAGE. I was only a fantasy and object to them. When it came to my interests and feelings, they didn’t give a shit. When I rejected their dating requests, they lashed out at me or even hurt me.

People said this to me when I was crushing over men who didn’t want me. The ONLY men I genuinely liked, didn’t like me back. I genuinely thought it was the best I could do at the time, because I didn’t like most men. And THOSE men, the ones who did like me, treated me so shitty.

I know this for a fact because ever since I gained about 40 lbs, I barely get bothered and harassed by men anymore. I still get hit on every now and then, but it is nowhere near how it used to be. And I am glad.

I'm an Asian woman. At around 5:30 pm on October 12, when I was walking out of Amazing Oriental in Amstelveen, 2-3 kids who looked around 10-15 years old shot me with a toy gun.

At first, I wasn't entirely sure who had shot me. But when I caught up with them, I instinctively recognized them and confronted them. They denied it and said they didn't have a gun. It made me almost certain they did it, because random people will never say that, so I slapped one of them hard on the back.

When I was walking towards the station, they rode past me on their bikes again and proudly showed off their toy guns. My first reaction was actually relief, because I hadn't confronted the wrong people.

They shot at me twice more, but missed both times. I'm glad I didn't look away. I just stared straight at them and tried my best to control myself from hurting them.

On the bus ride home, I felt completely frozen. I kept thinking about what I could have done differently. Maybe I was weak, but I am glad I didn't throw away my future because of a few kids, no matter how angry I was. Maybe there was a better way to handle the situation. I could have shouted louder, especially since we were in an open square where other people could have heard me. But I was so overwhelmed with anger that I couldn't think clearly in the moment.

The first shot hit me right in the temple. Luckily, it was only a toy gun. If it had been a real gun, my life could have ended today. I might never have seen my parents or friends again.

I used to believe that the world wasn't as bad as some people made it out to be. But today made me realize that there is a side of reality I hadn't really understood before.

I'm still furious, and I'm struggling to process what happened. I don't want to become the kind of person who responds to hatred with more hatred, but right now, it's difficult not to feel that way. I feel like there's no point in seeking justice anymore. Even if I went to the police, I doubt anyone would really care about what happened to me, and even if those kids were made to apologize, nothing would change.

I will just accept this as one of those special experiences, and tell everyone I know about what happened.

Guys I literally feel like that girl in Mean Girls because tell me why I bleed through tampons in like an hour. In the past, i’ve only ever bought super+ tampons. Recently I found out “Ultra” was an option so I got those. Why am I still bleeding through them so quickly?? Is there something wrong with me or? 😭

EDIT:: Would like to add that I also don’t experience cramps and my cycle tends to be about 3-4 days (active bleeding) with a 1 day pause (no bleeding) between day 3 and 4.

I had my first outbreak 5 weeks ago and got on antivirals after I tested positive. I had an inkling of what it was but wasnt sure. I did all the things that kept my family safe. Idk where I went wrong. But she has sore inguinal lymph nodes x5days, and she’s feeling nauseas x1day. I feel like shit. I feel worse than shit. I’ve never had a suicidal thought but I’ve found myself shutting the idea down once or twice within the last day. I can’t believe I did this to her. She’s my baby. She’s 12 and has her whole life ahead of her and I just don’t know how I let this happen. I’m so so so sad. I can’t stop crying. I don’t know how to have this conversation with her, or with anyone in my life. I havnt even been able to sit with my diagnosis. I’ll be making her an appointment first thing in the morning but I just can’t even begin to process anything other than I’m a horrible mother. I just don’t know.

I’m really struggling with motherhood right now. I’m 40 years old and became a mother at age 16. It was a tough road but my son is successful and thriving as an adult. I had two daughters later in life, now aged 14 and 9. And I am suddenly finding myself increasingly resentful of the constant pressure and responsibility that comes with being their mother. Their father and I are at the beginning of separation and I can’t wait to not be married anymore. I find myself yearning for independence and freedom. I feel sickeningly guilty and shameful about this but I just want to be left alone. I want the freedom I gave up as a young adult, and I feel trapped by my own decisions. I love my children deeply. And I want more out of life. Am I a horrible person?

I'm sorry in advance if this comes across as aggressive but I'm very frustrated.

Guys, please stop telling me I'm "lucky" to be a Lesbian. It's an extremely out of touch thing to say. You're acting like homophobia doesn't exist and like queer women somehow aren't oppressed by misogyny.

The sentiment I do understand is: "You're lucky that the gender you're attracted to isn't actively oppressing you and/or is an immediate danger". I agree with this completely.

However, a lot of straight women seem to think being a Lesbian somehow protects you from systemic patriarchal violence; on some level it does, as I will never be in an intimate relationship with a man. That doesn't change that men are still dangerous to me, that male friends of mine have tried to assault me and have succeeded, that I will always be objectified, sexualized, and dehumanized for being a woman. Specifically for being a lesbian. Not to mention that complete and utter social isolation queer women (especially lesbians) experience because the entire world is male-centered. Nothing is for me except a few spaces and even those are overrun by the most disgusting straight men.

And good lord, the way some straight women respond, acting like somehow Lesbians won't face standard relationship problems (ghosting, incompatibility, lack of options, etc) is crazy. Yes, I'm less worried about my safety with my partners, but that does not negate the existence of homophobia, fetishization, and misogyny that I (and other queer women) still face. Genuinely, it seems like some straight cis women seem to believe that being a lesbian gives me this magical bubble that repels all men.

I fucking wish. I still get harassed and catcalled and groped.

Honestly, it's downright offensive when straight women will say "I wish I were a lesbian" or "you're so lucky to be a Lesbian" sometimes because you're implying i'm gay because I hate men.

I'm a lesbian because I love women.

My sexuality has nothing to do with my distrust for men as a social group. If tomorrow, we all woke up and patriarchy was gone and misogyny was no more, I'd still be a lesbian because I fucking love women.

Also, I'm sorry but no one is forcing you to date men. Literally no one.

Quite honestly, some straight women aren't really feminist, they are either

1. Just focused on their interpersonal issues and how those are affected by gender. By this I mean women who only ever talk about feminism or "hating men" when it comes to a guy ghosting them or just being an asshole. Yeah, that sucks. And yes, gender dynamics do play a role in these behaviors, but a situationship not texting you back is really NOT the most pressing feminist issue

Or

1. They are feminist but associate with and date the most deplorable men on the planet. You know, the liberal girls and their neo-nazi boyfriends

Anyways, this entire post isn't me trying to erase the danger women who date/are attracted to men face, but rather to bring attention to the fact that being a lesbian doesn't protect me the way a lot of people seem to think it does.

Took me way too long to realize this, but the first time he hits or threatens your life/well being. You leave. Period.

The misogyny is coming from inside the House.

And by the House, I of course mean the White House and both houses of congress.

We don't want to die, or to watch our babies die. We dont want to riak giving birth to a girl who might have to live through a worse version of what we have today.

We do not want the future they are creating for children.

hi TwoX - i’m currently going through the worst breakup of my life where my partner of 6+ years, the man i very much thought was going to be my life partner, discarded me abruptly (and then immediately started engaging in a push/pull avoidant dynamic; that’s a story for another time though).

needless to say the past few months have been ROUGH, but i feel like i’m through the rawest heartbreak now and am finally now in the process of slowly rebuilding a beautiful, full life and recentering myself. I’m pretty sure i’ve turned a corner bc i can finally feel JOY again and am wanting to express myself creatively again.

so - i’m looking for your favorite full albums to listen to through this phase 🤍

so far, i’ve had angie mcmahon’s “light, dark, light again” on repeat and would love more like this — or unlike it! i’m open to any/all genres, from artists mainstream and unknown.

my only real criteria is that i would love entire albums to listen to in full vs. individual songs.

other albums that have been getting a lot of repeats lately:
bon iver, “for emma, forever ago”
phoebe bridgers, “lost weekend”
sierra ferrell, “trail of flowers”

[EDITED TO ADD]

… OMG! i was away from my phone for a few hours and this blew up in a way i never would have expected. thank you all SO much. i’m excited to dig into tons of these recommendations here.

what a great community, i appreciate you all so much. 🫶

​

I am trying to not violate the rules of the sub, but honestly this was a tipping point and I can't stop thinking about it.

I've been fuming about this all day. I don't even have the words to express how sick to my stomach I am after watching the first minute of the Shane Gillis monologue on snl. I stopped after he talked about women looking like whores in the gym. I looked it up later to see if anything got better instead he continued with his so called jokes including staring at women's asses and that it's important not to get caught and calling his sisters fat b**.

This monologue was allowed at the same time that a university in the same state has been revealed to be covering up sexual assault, enabling the assaulters, and otherwise sitting on their hands. Maybe it's not as big as ice or anything else happening in the us. But this makes it seem like the fascists are winning. Letting this person on to a show that is live streamed to a wide audience is unconscionable.

I'm done with snl. I'm done with nbc. Boycott nbc. Demand Lorne Michaels resignation. Boycott snl.

So I arrived at my GP a bit earlier than intended so I was waiting outside just killing some time.

When this guy parks up and I could see him walking towards me and he asked why I was standing there and I explained I was early and didn’t want to go in yet.

He then asks me if I wanted to go in with him which I politely declined. He then looked me up and down and asked me how old I was and where I lived

I lied about everything and started being short with him.

He went into the doctors and came out 10 minutes later and walked to his car.

He then came back and asked me if I wanted to hang out with him and knew some nice areas to go, he was literally asking me to get in his car with him.

I promptly said no and walked in the building

Come on man, outside the doctors office? Really?