I’m 20 years old and I only started brushing my teeth around the beginning of 2025. Now I brush twice a day, every single day, but my teeth are basically a lost cause.

I was severely depressed back in 2020 and that lasted for five years. When I say I never brushed, I mean I don’t remember buying toothpaste once in that five years. That has obviously caused so many problems that I’m incredibly upset about.

One of the issues I’ve had with it is that I was born without wisdom teeth and two of my molars. One molar on either side never formed when I was a baby. At two separate times, both of those baby teeth have rotted and died and have had to be ripped out. Now I have two missing teeth in one of the most inconvenient spots ever. I’ve had the right side missing for six years and the left for about three.

I also have very weak enamel, that’s a trait I get from my mom. I’ve had a filling done on one of my front teeth, but my teeth are still so weak that it’s gone now and I can’t smile without cringing because of how gross that tooth looks. I can’t afford dental work at all right now, so I pretty much have a mouth full of broken teeth. Now there’s not much I can do about the weathering and yellowing. Guess I can only blame fourteen year old me for that.

For pretext, I originally come from a super homophobic country. We moved to canada when I was 14.

Anyways, after I came out, my mom suddenly remembered a story from her uni days. She knew this guy she was very close to, and referring to him, she basically used the equivelant of "girlfriend" cause thats basically who he was to her, and only recently did she realize he was most likely gay.

Anyways, once she graduated, life happened and they fell out of touch. They left on good terms with no bad blood between them. They also both made a name for themselves.

Anyways, she recently found him on linkeldin again. He also ended up moving to canada and lives with a partner in a neighboring province. She tried to message him to rekindle the friendship, but has been ignored.

Most likely scenario is that he's scared of the reprocussions of being gay since the country we originally came from doesnt look kindly on us. Personally I havent experienced it cause my mom loved me more than what was taught to her (though it was an adjustment period for her at first), but I do have a very close friend from a similar background who didnt come out to his parents (despite him being sure of himself for the past 4 years). Hell, he only came out to me less than a year ago despite being fully aware of my gay status, so I get it.

Anyways, i told him to feel free to "throw me under the bus" to test his parent's reaction when he feels more ready to come out. Told my mom almost the same thing, only to tell her friend about me to show him that he doesnt have to be scared of the reprocussioms cause my mom isnt homophobic and is fully aware he's gay

I grew up hearing that things would be fundamentally better by the time we reached adulthood. Now here we are in 2026, and the overwhelming feeling is quite the opposite: hard-won rights slipping through our fingers, constant conflicts, dehumanizing bureaucracy, and a level of polarization that seems to have stripped away people's basic capacity for empathy.
Sometimes I catch myself thinking that social media has amplified this noise to an extreme, but the core issue runs deeper. It's the painful realization that history doesn't move in a straight line - it repeats itself. If a figure of radical peace and love like Jesus were to walk among us today, the system and society would find a way to silence and condemn Him all over again. Nothing fundamental has changed; the tools have just gotten more sophisticated.
I'll admit I've been feeling deeply discouraged and losing faith in humanity. Being in my 30s and looking at the horizon with this sense of regression is exhausting.
Has anyone here found a healthy way to navigate this burnout without completely "tuning out" from the world? How do you keep your sanity and hope alive when the bigger picture looks so bleak?

I'm (F) turning 28. I graduated high school like everyone else and started university the same year, like everyone else.
My immigrant family wanted me to become a teacher, and I've tried. I always knew this job wasn't for me. I've tutored for years. I talked to my parents about it, and it ended badly. Imagine having a very abusive mother and a cheating father who doesn't care until my mother expects him to chime in. There's no reasoning with them.

I took a break, and I've been the family failure ever since. I went back to school. Same thing. My mental health declined rapidly because it didn't fix my relationship with my parents or make me any happier. I gave up. I was tired of the pity and the questions. I dropped out.

Without even thinking about what I wanted to do, I listened to my mother again. Why not an apprenticeship? They pay you next to nothing, but it's something, right? I had to live with my partner for two months because things escalated at home when I turned down a position that would have guaranteed me a future of working a dead-end job. My mother didn't care. It was "something".

I've been working part-time at Lidl. I'm good with money, so I make do. I still live with my family. My partner and I will move in together next year. I'm working 40+ hours of overtime this month, and life is shit.
But nobody knows I've enrolled in university. It's a major I'm interested in. I'm actually excited. Nobody will know about this. Nobody will question me about it. Nobody will try to ruin it for me. I'm glad. I owe it to myself to care about my future. I'm hopeful. A little, at least, for now.

My mother's friends invited me to France, promising me a job and a place to stay. I went with the little money I had in my pocket and high hopes. Once I arrived, he told me we’d speak to some Portuguese-speaking friends of his to find me work even though I didn't speak Portuguese very well. As time went by, nothing happened; he was drinking every day. In the end, he got angry with me despite having invited me into the home where he was staying and knowing my situation and I wound up on the street with nothing. I have no one, not even family life really sucks.

I 20f have been with my partner since we were 16 I found out I was pregnant 4 months ago and we ended up deciding to terminate a few weeks after finding out. We originally had talked about if this situation bad ever come out that we would have an abortion but the day i took a test (literally had no reason to i just felt the need to?) i don’t know what i felt but i felt like a mother i told him i was pregnant and i was freaking out and he was so unbelievably supportive and told me we would figure it out together. And ever since then i thought we could be a family but we both decided that we would sit down and think about this thoroughly and talk about our finances,living situation as well as what our university, degrees and careers would look like before we made a decision regarding the pregnancy though in the end we never really ended up doing this together but both did it separately. he never really brought up the pregnancy AT ALL only if i ever asked him to say hi to her or talk about her (we named her and thought she was a girl) he never brought up what his plans where, what he was thinking, how he felt ever. Every time i would bring up the future and mention how i would love to do blank with the baby or would bring up how much i was happy being pregnant and loved carrying my child he would tell me every single time to “not get to excited because we don’t know if we’re keeping it or not” every single time or a variation of it and it just broke me down i knew i wouldn’t be pregnant for long and i feel like i couldn’t even firkin enjoy it and it broke me down. Eventually i just told him i can’t do this anymore and we need to terminate before i got even more attached as much as i loved the baby i didn’t think i could do it alone if anything happened with my partner (i grew up around a crappy absent dad and a struggling basically single mom so i don’t want to grow up to be like my parents) i felt so forced because i really really wanted to be a mom and now 15 weeks later he dosent even talk about her. every time i bring her up he just tells me the same script about how “he is sorry and how he wishes we could of had her” and i kid you not it’s verbatim the same thing each time which i appreciate it but I don’t know if it’s a not feeling anything situation or if he’s process and showing his feelings differently but i’m so alone. I miss my baby and i’m so mad at him for taking her away from me and for not making me feel like i even had a choice. I want my baby and it feels like i didn’t have a choice, it feels like i didn’t give my self one by setting up my life for her before hand but how was i supposed to know what would happen? i feel like he didn’t give me a choice ether and it all just sucks

we have a mutual friend due this month and it breaks me inside when they talk about their plans and excitement and i want to be so so happy but everything in this world reminds me of her. I love her so much. I wish him and i talked more and i wish i knew what it takes to be a mom, and i wish i was a mom but i know im a baby my self and that the decision was made for a reason but every single time i think about the situation i feel like i could of done more and tried harder and that i made the decision to quick and i could of tried harder, i know i should of tried harder but now he’s gone. He’s flushed in the toilet and she’s gone. And the night she was gone he got drunk with a friend and i bled alone and idk man im just tired and alone and with no baby and i just needed to vent in a space where no one knows me so thank you reddit.

My boyfriend and I come from very different backgrounds. He grew up in a very religious household and he himself grew up to be religious. Me on the other hand, grew up Hindu and religion was a part of my upbringing, but it wasn't everything. Religion was never forced on me and my parents are completely fine that I don't follow the religion I grew up in. I consider myself to be more spiritual/cultural rather than religious. I believe in a higher power, but I don't necessarily believe I have to follow religion in order to believe in God.

Anyways, these past few months, we started talking about marriage and how we wanted to raise our kids, what he expects from me as a wife and mother. He wanted me to help raise our kids in the religion he grew up in (Islam). And I was okay with it. But there were several things that I wasn't okay with and when I brought up certain concerns, I described them to be a bit extreme. We ended up working through several issues. Now the one bomb he recently dropped on me was that I needed to convert in order for him to marry me, otherwise the marriage would be invalid. He never told me I had to convert and I kept asking him throughout our relationship if it was going to be an issue and he would reassure me it wasn't. He said because I believe in one God, that's all that matters. Then when he told me I had to convert, he claimed he didn't know the specific ruling behind it. Which I though was weird considering he's been a Muslim his whole life. He even told me he believes marrying me for who I am today would make him go to hell.. that was hard to swallow.

Then, we had a conversation and he asked me if he thinks his views were extreme and I was honest with him. I told him yes, I do think some of his views are extreme. And he specifically asked me to explain why and wanted me to give logical answers as to why. So, we talked on the phone about this and I was explaining myself, and he started laughing at me. I asked him what was so funny and he said my explanation doesn't make sense. okay.. you can think that way without laughing and being disrespectful. He then proceeded to give me sarcastic "mhmm's" and I was irritated at this point and told him if this was the type of response I was going to get, then I don't really want to talk about it anymore.

He then derailed the whole conversation and started talking about stuff that happened years ago. There were two instances he brought up. I had acted poorly with him and I acknowledged my behavior and never reacted that way ever again. What's funny is, he even acknowledged it himself. He brought these two instances up to make it seem like that's how I would behave as a wife/mother. Mind you, this happened over 3 years ago. And it felt like a slap in the face. He also has, throughout the relationship, described me as being "free-spirited" because I don't follow a specific religion. The way he describes it is like I don't believe in rules or discipline or structure and I have no guidance. I don't need religion to guide me. I'm free-spirited in the sense that I'm open-minded, independent, and believe people should have the freedom to make their own choices in a way that makes them happy. I question things instead of blindly following something. And he tried to say to me because I'm free-spirited, he thinks I would let my kids to whatever they want. Which isn't true at all.

I've never once disrespected his right to practice his faith. I questioned things about his religion, and I brought up concerns over certain decisions he wanted to make regarding his religion, but never have I ever made him feel bad about practicing his faith. Hell, I would take him to the Mosque so he could pray, I would go out and eat halal food happily with him because I knew it was important to him. I even witnessed him pray a few times and told him how peaceful it looked. So for him to say he has a problem with my "free-spirited" personality when I never once made him feel a certain way about him being Muslim was hurtful. Not once during that conversation did I go digging into his past, brought up moments when he behaved poorly, and use those moments to make assumptions about the kind of father or husband he would be. Because I don’t believe that a person’s poor behavior one time, defines who they are as a whole. But that’s exactly what it felt like he was doing to me.

And what's funny is, he literally asked me to explain why I think his views are a bit extreme, and he couldn't even handle what I was saying to him so he took the conversation around and started laughing, talking about my flaws, my shortcomings, and bringing up things I did years ago. I don't mind if he wants to defend his position, he has every right to, but what bothered me was he started highlighting my flaws. I think I finally reached my breaking point in this relationship just because of this conversation. I'm tired of fighting for a relationship that's not worth it. He also believes he'll go to hell for marrying me so there's no saving this relationship anymore. Sigh..

I want to start by saying I am completely progressive! I support people who are poly and choice to be in a poly relationship. I support it logically as an opinion.

Now the rest. For some reason every time I see people in a poly relationship, or hear about it, or am just reminded of the concept. I get paranoid and anxious? I am not in a relationship, but I suddenly get flooded with negative emotions like jealousy, anger, fear, etc. I get the emotions suddenly, like I am actively in a poly relationship. I don't know why whenever the idea of poly relationships enter my conscious mind, I suddenly start thinking like I'm actively in one, and then I get scared about all the thing (I would personally) hate about being in a poly relationship. These reactions have made me say very negative things about the idea of poly relationships in conversations with people, because when it's brought up, I'm in a obnoxious anxiety mode. I think about someone I'm in love with having sexual relations with a nother person, and I start hyper ventilating??? It's almost entirely ridiculous. I'm single, no real partner, but I'm panicking about a fake situation because the concept of poly relationships are mentioned nearby.

Does anyone know what this is? Why this is happening? Is this common or am I insane?

Thank you for reading!

Tldr: Poly people scare me

Literally using this sub for how it’s advertised. Not looking for anything in particular, just need to scream into the void for a second.

I’m 21 years old. I’m in college. I have every advantage and opportunity someone in this life could hope for - a safe home, a loving family, friends, relative financial stability, a job, solid career prospects, the whole 9 yards - and yet I can’t help but be a fuck up.

When I first came to school I fell into a relationship with someone who completely destroyed me, or rather, someone who I allowed to completely destroy me. I’ve never thought of myself as someone worth loving, and instead, any companionship I ever received was a function of what I could provide to that person. So I gave everything to try to be this person’s complement in every way, their other half. I sacrificed friendships, practically all of my personal savings, my academics, my sleep, anything to be a perfect partner, and it was never enough; to me or to her. I spent months hating myself for being a terrible person and undeserving of this girl I thought was my everything. I turned to drugs and alcohol to cope. I went from straight As to failing classes. And two years later, I was in a mental health/rehab facility; forced to take a medical leave by my school since they could no longer guarantee my safety (police were called to confirm I was alive in my dorm twice; separate from the suicide attempt about a year earlier no one ever heard about).

I spent 3 months in rehab. I got help. Things started looking up. I got a job and moved back to school. All the support I could ask for, everything set up for a healthy reset. And I fucked it up anyway. I was 7 months sober before I went back to drinking and smoking. No one in my life knows, because I can’t face my failure. I tell myself it was never the real issue to begin with, but the way I’m using again is increasingly problematic. I took a summer class and failed it. Nothing in my way, I just failed. Failed to manage my time, failed to prioritize, failed to communicate, failed. Now it’s the fall, I’m taking 3 classes and working 15 hours a week, and I’m behind. I had a summer fling that just ended poorly. I’m tired all the time, I constantly have compulsive thoughts of self hatred and wishing I wasn’t alive. I’m on the precipice of losing the life I just built back after losing it all, and the only one to blame is the person in the mirror.

I thought I was a good person. I thought I was capable of being what people think of me as. But in the end, the truth is worst then I ever could’ve imagined. I’m just not good enough. And that sucks.

I (25F) was in a long term relationship for all of my early twenties and late teenage years. During that time I really stopped taking care of myself and became a shut in.

Since breaking up with my ex, I've been working on myself a LOT. I've lost 70 lbs, take care of my skin, and dress fashionably now!

I went to a party last Saturday, and i started talking to this guy who was super cute and really interesting. We talked for nearly an hour. I was thinking about asking him out so we could talk more, but then at one point he ran his hand down my back and to my ass. We hadn't made physical contact before that.

I don't feel extremely violated or anything, but it caught me very off guard. I tried talking to him for a bit and he put his arm around me, but since I was extremely drunk I didn't really reciprocate because I didn't want to give off the vibe that I was looking for a hookup.

He went to the bathroom at one point and i didn't see him again.

I'm not sure how i feel about it all. I wish he would have asked me out instead, but maybe thats not how these things go.

I’m 21 and I have been to a bar once. I have one friend (who i love) but never see, and who is past that era of her life.

I say I don’t watch TV, but the truth is, I watch it only sometimes, and only because watching a show or movie about someone my age out having fun at college, or with a group friends, is the closest i’ll ever get to experience that kind of connection. that kind of belonging.

I was bullied in high school after I called 911 for a friend who overdosed and then i was decidedly a ‘snitch’ . but even before that, I have struggled socially my whole life. I don’t know what it is that’s so wrong with me that i can’t see to ‘connect’ like that with anyone. I just don’t belong anywhere.

I have a good career started that I love, and I am grateful, but it is still a bit embarrassing that I look forward to seeing my co workers because they are honestly the closest thing to a friend to me. it’s humiliating to even type out.

I don’t get invited out anywhere, even by my friend, and everyone I know is past the stage in their life where they really do anything that frequently. I don’t know how to meet people, i don’t know how to put myself out there or how to pick who is safe to
do that with. There have been times where i’ve been invited for simple things, a small outing or to play some video games, in the past but, I just can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t know why I yearn so painfully for connection but when it’s offered I become so terrified.

Even if a co worker asks, if i’m okay, or if i had a good weekend, for example, I become so afraid. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I don’t understand why I am so scared of anyone seeing me or caring about me.

I just want to have people to laugh with, or to know me, and for me to know them. I think i’m just a little extra sensitive to this because it’s CA thanksgiving and i’m on my kitchen floor alone, and don’t have a single person to text and say happy thanksgiving to. or a single person im waiting to hear from.

The closest i get is hearing my upstairs neighbour with her family tonight. which is my own fault, because I should just know how to have been social enough to have a few people in my life.

times like this just remind me how truly alone I am, it makes me feel so purposeless. it just reminds me that there’s no one who is out there missing me. i’m being dramatic and i know that.

Growing up I always had a eating problem, now I m 17m I wear a size 6 shoe and I’m only 5,5. Everything on my body is small I hate it. I want to be desired by women, I hate how I get mocked and treated like a baby just because of my size. I get told I look 12 all the time, one time I was at the store and the woman behind the counter said “are you waiting on your mom”. Like fuck me, I know part is genetic cause my dad is not much bigger than me, I want to be big I want to be a man, I feel like a little kid that only his mind grew up. After asking a girl out, I was mocked for my height. I hate it, I hate it. I don’t know what to do, because if I try to forget someone always has to remind me how short or tiny I am. I get told I can’t be taken seriously all the time, I’m sick of it, idk what to do or where to turn(sorry if it’s not grammatically correct, I was just typing my thoughts) I’m sick of it, idk what to do or where to turn

It's 10 AM on a Monday. I'm standing in the administration office of my university, about to have a breakdown in front of strangers.

Let me give you context here:

I'm a computer science master's student. My university gives us 6 semesters to finish. Most students finish in 4. I'm in my 5th right now.

The semester ends in 2 months. My plan was to finish my proposal defense and my thesis defense this semester. Why? Because I don't have money for another one. An extra semester would put me in serious financial difficulty.

So I walk up to the counter and ring the bell.

A guy walks up to me. Let's call him John.

I ask him, "Hello Mr. John, can I discuss an academic problem about my master's degree?"

He says, "Okay, what is it?"

I say, "So I'm currently in my fifth semester. I've done all the courses that require attending classes. Only my proposal and thesis are left. And I tried my best-"

Suddenly, my voice cracks.

"I tried my best. I mean..." *voice shaking* "...I tried to do the thesis before the semester began."

Then, tears fills my eyes.

"I resigned from my job so I could focus."

And then it happens. I start crying.

"I really want to finish my thesis this semester. I don't have any money for the next semester."

I'm wiping my face, trying to pull myself together.

"But I haven't even finished my proposal. I have two months left. I'm afraid I won't graduate this semester, and I'll have to pay for the next one, which I can't afford. But I really want to graduate. Does the faculty have any solution around this?"

Now, I had practiced this with my wife. I wrote a script and rehearsed the conversation with her. I didn't cry. I had told her about my problem many times before, so I was used to it.

But this is different. This is real. In that moment, I feel ashamed. Telling someone I don't have money and I need help, it's shame.

But here's the thing. I think telling people what you're ashamed of matters. Not to everyone. Just to a few people who really matter. I think it's a way to connect with them.

Because after I said it, they gave me solutions. They told me the real deadline isn't two months from now, it's four. They gave me words of encouragement. They told me what I could do.

So yeah. Tell the things that make you feel ashamed to the right people. Find people who will listen without judging. And if it works out, you'll have a better connection with them. That's my lesson from this.

A guy that I matched on a dating app came over today. I made cinnamon rolls, we ate, then we cuddled.

Which was weird because I did not let any guy cuddle me with a sweet intention in a year. And I did not realize that I missed it really bad. We kissed, almost had sex ( he had no condoms, so we had to stop).

We had dinner, we kissed a lot, cuddled naked, felt very nice, we were all over each other. I did not realize how much I missed this feeling.

And I hate missing this feeling, because all the time it came with costs.

I don’t know If I will see him again. I want to see him again, but I am scared to say and ask.

I am so tired of being alone.

I feel like no matter what I do, I’m never anyone’s first choice. I’ve been cheated on and lied to more times than I can count. I fall too hard and wear my heart of my sleeve and it makes me wonder if there’s just something wrong with me?
I try to be kind to everyone, but damn. I am a hopeless romantic and it hurts when I’m faced with constant rejection.
I do suffer from depression and anxiety, and sometimes I wonder if that makes people avoid me? But at the same time I don’t go around talking about it either. It’s something I hide until I’m alone. I’m beginning to feel like my purpose in life is to always be there for others and never have anyone there for me.
Hell, I can’t even make friends that are true. They befriend me for a short while to get some advice and then out of nowhere or when they’ve gotten what they need, they leave. I know this sounds like a “oh pity me” post, but it’s genuinely something I’ve been pondering.

This was back in 2019, pre Covid. I was 19 at the time, living with a girlfriend. I am a thin, short, white female. I had tattoos at the time, but my clothing covered them.

So my gf at the time and I smoked a lot of weed. One day, we had to drive across town to the weed man’s house to pick up. The weed man was jumping from hotel to hotel, staying in sketchy parts of town with his girlfriend. This didn’t bother me or my gf at the time, we just were like “okay cool let’s go pick up some bud”

So the plug sends us his address, we’ve never been there before. The address sends us to a Dairy Queen across town. We’re so confused, like why’d he send us to a Dairy Queen? So we park behind the Dairy Queen. I get out of the car, am calling the plug on my phone, kind of just pacing around. There’s the Dairy Queen, then where we parked, then a tall wooden fence. Fence is super tall, I can’t see over it but could see there was a building on the other side. I’m kind of by the fence trying to call the plug. I’ve noticed a big dude also kind of hanging around the fence and Dairy Queen, but don’t really pay him any attention. Finally, the plug answers, and we figure out that he’s at the hotel on the other side of the tall wooden fence. Okay great, I start walking along the fence to get to the other side so I can go get my weed.

I told my gf to wait in the car, I’ll go get the weed. I start walking along the fence, it’s probably 20-30 ft from the street. I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around, and the big dude that was kind of just hanging around, is holding a white iPhone up like he’s recording me, and he’s walking towards me. He’s a little ways away, but I can see he’s wearing a backpack, and he’s big. Probably a good 240 lbs. I’m like “oh he’s weird” and continue to walk a little faster. Then I hear his footsteps getting a little closer, and I fucking book it. Start running along the fence, to the side walk. I turn the corner, the fence is still there, but when I turned the corner it’s no longer a wooden fence, but is now a black steel kind of fence. I fucking climb and hop over that shit, and keep running to the hotel, because I’m now in the yard of this old hotel. The plug and his gf are sitting on the side steps of the building, they see me hop over the fence. They’re all smiles and waving at me, I’m fucking running to them. I get to them, and before they start talking to me I’m like “there’s a guy following me.” We look to where I had hopped the fence, and the big ass dude that was following me is looking over the fence, looking directly at me.

The plug is like “the fuck?” Hands me my weed, I give his gf cash. The plug tells his gf to help me hop the wooden fence. The plug is walking quick to where the big dude was, and starts saying things like “hey motherfucker, you got a problem?”

The plug’s gf and I run to the wooden fence, and she helps me by half lifting, half pushing me over the wooden fence. I land probably 10 ft from my car, and fucking run and jump into the drivers seat. Before I start explaining we’re fucking pulling out of there as quick as possible.

And that’s the story on how I avoided being kidnapped and still got my weed 🤓

he was one of my best friends at first but then we were in a situationship for about for a month as I said I wanted to get to know him better. during this time is when it got miserable for me.

We never kissed or hooked up because I did not want to but I feel gross to have let him in my life in that way. He got super possessive and upset whenever I spent time with anyone but him, he was particularly manipulative and when invited over would always guilt me into letting him stay way past midnight. When i got drunk i would wake up in bed with him and i hated it I told him to stay on the couch or go home if i had passed out but he didnt. i would wake up to him trying to cuddle me and i wanted to scream. he is about 2 heads taller than me and a star athlete so I was never able to push him away. i rejected him so many times and every time he made me feel so bad and guilty. everything I did was not good enough for him, he had even accused me of liking women for talking to them more than him. when i rejected him for the last time he threw a huge tantrum saying he thought bc we hadnt had arguments and were still hanging out that I would change my mind and he would not leave my house

i feared for my life this man is huge and strong and he was in my house and every time i asked him to leave he would remark “whats so bad about being with me, why are you doing this to US, is it so bad that i want to stay longer?”he stayed almost until morning when I had a lecture that morning.

worst part is i still cared about this person so much and wanted to avoid conflict. i thought that even though it was uncomfortable on my end it would be okay for me to endure it because i know i could. we were friends, but when we talked about possibly dating, he changed and i was miserable. it took way too long for me to cut him off. its been months with no contact i have locked myself in my apartment and my head starts spinning and i want to throw up every time i think of him. i fear making new friends as this is not the first time someone has violated my boundaries just not to this extent.

how do i stop feeling like this, i want to throw up every time i see something remotely similar to him. ive distanced myself from all mutuals even though i know he will never fess up to this to them. i just feel so sick

sorry about the ramble I just cant function right now, im scared and i feel so nauseous, when will i be able to recover, what can i do to help it? i can answer any questions

edit: context- he accused my of liking women because one of our mutual friends is a lesbian in a committed relationship. i had spent the new years party talking to her a lot. i got shit faced that night and woke up in my bed but he was there stewing. i had to try to calm him down and stay calm while figuring out what has happened. ive been sober ever since

We (I M20 and her F20) were together during my college year and we were supposed to be a couple for real. She took me to meet her parents and her grandma. I did the same with mine.

But... we went on a trip with friends and another couple was staying in the same house. I got really drunk the first night and don't remember much. Looking back, she kept pushing me to drink and smoke more. I think she wanted me out of it. During the vacation one of the girls asked to take a picture of me and her, like a cute couple pic.At the time I didn't think much of it. Later it was obvious it was there to make everything look normal. She ended up sleeping with him and my gf on that trip. He had a girlfriend too, and she was excluded (it was her vacation house btw).

After that I found out it had been going on for most of our relationship. She slept with half of the town. When I confronted her, she denied it. Then I found out she'd asked her friends to deny it too.

I stayed way too long. I kept telling myself it was loyalty, or that I was being the mature one, but I think I just didn't feel allowed to need anything. When I finally got angry I said some harsh word and I'm not proud of, and yeah, I've had to sit with that.

We're over now. This isn't really a rant about her. I just can't stop replaying it, and I keep catching myself making excuses for people who treated me like that. Has anyone else been through something like this? How did you stop going over it?