r/SipsTea • • 1d ago

Chugging tea Bro is speaking in code

Post image
30.1k Upvotes

6.7k comments sorted by

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u/Brence1984 1d ago

Not sure if he is defending her with that quote or asking for donations as a victim?

1.7k

u/SweaterSteve1966 1d ago

Ghoulfundme

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u/malendalayla 1d ago

Nah he needs to pay me for unleashing this abomination on my newsfeed. Nightmare fuel in it's purest form, especially when you compare her before photos.

I wish I could go back to a week ago when I had no idea this beast walks amongst us.

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u/nexusjuan 1d ago

tiktok has been having a ball with it. I've seen her cut into clips of "They Live", I've seen her on a Terminator assembly line. I've seen her cut into the video of that lady on the plane yelling "That mother fucker back there aint real".

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u/xpistou83 1d ago

It's like the McDonald's CEO enjoying his "product".

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u/Vast-Trust-1165 1d ago

Thats a lie, he stays awake all night in case she tries to eat him.

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u/Zero_lash 1d ago

No! Roger would never do that!

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u/Onlyfatwomenarefat 1d ago

Now I need to see this lady's front

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u/theaviator747 1d ago

That’s a bit uncanny. I’m very creeped out right now.

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u/Zero_Burn 1d ago

Bro welcomes The Hat Man because then he's got someone to supervise his wife so he can take a nap.

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u/wandrlusty 1d ago

Bold of you to assume that she eats

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u/CrazedCrusader95 1d ago

She pulls out her proboscis to suck up adrenochrome at 3am

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u/sheckshow858 1d ago

Is he bragging or complaining?

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u/FancyThing8889 1d ago

He’s reading a hostage statement while she watches from the doorway.

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u/happydictates 1d ago

He’s reading a hostage statement while she watches from under the bed, menacingly gnawing remnants of a suspiciously small human femur

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u/PunkPirate56364 1d ago

My wife is not a skinwalker!

starts blinking in morse

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u/Artix96 1d ago

Yes

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u/Tiny-Spray8992 1d ago

complaining

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u/confused_being02 1d ago

Man must be terrified every morning then

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u/ViciousCDXX 1d ago

Nah he likes fucking lizards in human suits

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u/IllustriousAnt485 1d ago

When he sold his soul to the illuminati he sacrificed his real wife and they gave him a reptilian handler as a replacement.

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u/FancyThing8889 1d ago

His Apple Watch logs a panic attack before the alarm even goes off.

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u/kezow 1d ago

Every morning he just prays he doesn't wake up.

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u/dpalomo10 1d ago

Gets to, or has to?

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u/FancyThing8889 1d ago

With $120 billion in the bank, waking up next to her is an expensive subscription he forgot how to cancel.

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u/surfer_bud_3 1d ago

Afraid to.

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u/Poopchutefan 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/McmLoTZCMUkoZGPXU6
I think he means like this. He wants us to understand his horror.

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u/Dr_Griller 1d ago

Also Michael Dell with his wife:

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u/BelCantoTenor 1d ago

She’s a double bagger. A bag for her head, and a bag for your head, just in case hers falls off.

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u/airinato 1d ago

Triple, need an extra for anyone unlucky enough to walk in on it.

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u/Historical_Leg5998 1d ago

They both look like aliens that picked a human skin-suit that doesn't quite fit but they jimmied themselves in there because they believe in the power of positivity.

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u/TimothyG87 1d ago

Strange how all these billionaires look uncanny. Gates, Musk, the Facebook guy that everybody thinks is a robot... They all just look "off."

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u/Foxtrot_Supatwat 1d ago

The "Facebook Guy" looks totally normal & human...tf u talkin bout, b?

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u/glamazzon 1d ago

lmao Data would never! get his name out of your mouth! will smith slap

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u/Several-Customer7048 1d ago

Someone get Edgar and his wife Edgarette some sugar stat

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u/Pure_evil1979 1d ago

She reminds me of the fake Jessica Rabbit character

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u/NthatFrenchman 1d ago edited 1d ago

She was a’ight looking at one point

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u/ActWhole3279 1d ago

This is sad to see. She was once beautiful, and to look like a science experiment now is unfortunate. The insecurity this signals is heartbreaking.

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u/Classic-Shopping8330 1d ago

She wasn’t just alright looking, she was pretty! I don’t know why she destroyed her face the way she did. Truly sad.

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u/SantaFeRay 1d ago

Well she’s 62 so she wouldn’t look like that anymore. And she presumably had cosmetic surgery to look younger. There are post-surgery photos of her where she looks better than she did this week (obviously not as good as when she was much younger). It looks like she’s lost some weight which combined with the cosmetic surgery produced the look we saw at the White House. The weight loss may not be intentional.

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u/scottwsx96 1d ago

The worst part is the eyebrows and eye makeup.

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u/somewhatdecentlawyer 1d ago

Gillian Anderson vibes there, and now she looks like an X-File case

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u/Futura_Yellow 1d ago

Gillian Anderson aged like fine 🍷

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u/Sharp_Economy1401 1d ago

It’s ridiculous how well some famous people from the 90s have aged. Salma Hayek also looks like she could be 20 years younger than she is

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u/Oops_All_Bans 1d ago

Don't forget this beauty

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u/DueExample52 1d ago

It’s sad that people fall prey to that kind of plastic surgery. She would have grown into a beautiful old woman as well, why start cutting up your face?

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u/QuarkVsOdo 1d ago

You can't control ageing. Some people want to control everything. They settle with "doing something" over acceptance of fate.

This look certainly is something.

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u/Cabbages24ADollar 1d ago

It pleases me that our peasantly comments reached and affected our wealthy overlord.

Here’s another: fuck off!

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u/Personal-Dev-Kit 1d ago

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u/NthatFrenchman 1d ago

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u/Careless_Hellscape 1d ago

She looks a lot better as a South Park character than she does in real life.

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u/NthatFrenchman 1d ago

Yeah, overall I think they were pretty gentle with her

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u/pchlster 1d ago

Compared to Noem this is practically a celebration.

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u/Worduptothebirdup 1d ago

Susan Dell called the South Park portrayal, “completely unhinged” and said it made her look like a cartoon villain.

For the amount of evil this woman has enabled supporting the worst people in society, she was treated pretty fucking gently.
https://giphy.com/gifs/UyrA8B4UIZjoi3WkYQ

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u/PurpleArugula5766 1d ago

lol no one wants you to laugh along with it. We’re not laughing with you, we’re laughing at you.

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u/whyohwhythis 1d ago

Nah you’re happy to hang out with a man that makes fun of the disabled and Biden, so suck it up. And make no mistake Trump would make fun of your looks if you weren’t paying him.

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u/Biscuits4u2 1d ago

Before you go getting all sympathetic remember this woman is a billionaire who spent more money than most people will ever see to look exactly like this. She was absolutely fine before she did this to herself. And she didn't have to cozy up to MAGA on national television. She chose that. Nobody would be talking about her otherwise.

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u/esseyedeekayeyedee 1d ago

For sure!!

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u/DueExample52 1d ago

What did she see in the left picture that we don’t? And that warranted to get surgical interventions?

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u/housevil 1d ago

Maybe she died and her brother put on a wig to take her place.

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u/NoThereIsntAGod 1d ago

Hold up…. This is both an outrageous and objectively legitimate suggestion

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u/Satins_Cock 1d ago

You know what, I'm tired of the right wing getting to own all the fun crazy conspiracy theories. I'm all for the lefties starting their own, and this is a perfect one. I don't even care if she has a brother, details like that shouldn't get in the way of a good conspiracy.

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u/HypnoSaris 1d ago

I heard she has jar and jars of strangers farts. She pops one open every night and takes a nice whiff. Thats why her face is melting. The human face was not built to withstand that much shit

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u/FiveStringTelecaster 1d ago

A lot of top people have been saying that. Smart people. They come up to you with tears in their eyes and say that the best people have been saying that.

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u/Plausibility_Migrain 1d ago

She also has jars and jars of her own farts. Labeled with timestamps.

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u/HarlinQuinn 1d ago

I mean, it doesn't even need to be her brother. Maybe they bumped off the real her and replaced her with some crack addict in drag and said "close enough" after the makeup and boob job.

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u/Satins_Cock 1d ago

It's McConnell's brain in the freshest corpse they had available.

For safely, McConnell's body is still out there with the corpses brain in it, just in case anybody starts asking questions.

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u/slettea 1d ago

Mar a lago face isn’t plastic surgery- hear me out on this!- it’s parasitic aliens using their human hosts as skin suits while they eat them from the inside.

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u/im_just_thinking 1d ago

Why are all the online transtectives being quiet all the sudden?

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u/firethornocelot 1d ago

Because Russia just lost a big data center and their bots are offline

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u/Several-Customer7048 1d ago

Cause there’s a non zero chance it’s Edgar from men in black.

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u/CheesyPotatoSack 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/DfSXiR60W9MVq

They are too busy still obsessing over Michelle Obama

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u/nalaloveslumpy 1d ago

For real. Candice Owens going all Encyclopedia Brown on Bridgette Macron but not a peep for this lady.

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u/just-peepin-at-u 1d ago

I do have a theory. Being a woman, your youth and appearance (in particular, how young you look) are constantly under scrutiny and it impacts how you are treated.

Even when you something “right” and “age well,” you will age.

The Mar a Lago look, or whatever it is called, is like a bat signal to these weirdos that you belong in their club.

The combination of worrying about aging and the weird acceptance and even endorsement of this very plastic look so many like Laura Loomer, Kristi Noem and such go through could push someone in that group to undertake the same procedures.

It isn’t about appearing a certain to the rest of us, it is about looking that way to that crowd, and signaling you are 100’percent in.

The problem for her is, this time, the voices saying “WTF” were louder than usual and broke through the wall this group created around themselves, hence why anyone even deigned to give a response about the comments at all.

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u/Continental__Drifter 1d ago

The difference is Laura Loomer, Kristi Noem, etc, were doing this to suck up to men wealthier and more powerful than they are.

They want more power, more money, and they have to perform these aesthetic rituals to get something in return.

Dell is worth a quarter of a trillion dollars. There are only 4 people worth more than her and her husband.

She could, quite literally, buy Fox News if she wanted to. It's market cap is ~25B. She could buy Fox News and still have 90% of her wealth.

She could buy Mar a Lago if she wanted (Trump would sell it for the right price, he wants money).

There is no reason for her to debase herself like this.

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u/MetalStacker 1d ago

Someone said the other day this is “The essence of conservatism. In a futile effort to maintain things as they remember them or as they aspire to be, they make a mockery of their humanity rather than embrace inevitable change.”

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u/CriminoleMinded 1d ago

Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit:

There must be in-groups whom the law protectes but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect.

There is nothing more or else to it, and there never has been, in any place or time. —Frank Wilhoit

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u/CantaloupeShort7311 1d ago

This is a great theory, and I have never been happier that I decided as a teen that makeup was stupid, altering my appearance for others was stupid, and at 46 I am rocking my grays and wrinkles and appreciating the fact that I am still alive while I know many how died young and will never get to experience being old.

I am also proud no one will mistake me for a Trump supporter, lol

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u/Velo3x10e8 1d ago

There's not enough influential people endorsing the concept of aging gracefully.

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u/QuadratImKreis 1d ago

It's why I love Alexandra Grant, Keanu Reeves's partner, who just accepts and rocks her middle age body.

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u/Average_Random_Bitch 1d ago

She had that Christie Brinkley kind of face, who is aging gracefully with fillers and such, and is stills beautiful woman. This was a huge mistake.

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u/Emotional-Sentence40 1d ago

Let's take Madonna for a second. Just no. Everyone ages differently (naturally) she should have waited till she started that process before doing whatever this nightmare is to herself.

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u/ZealousidealFall1181 1d ago

Let's not use Madonna as an example. She is looking really rough and denying that she is aging. Pamela Anderson.

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u/CovenOfTheDamned 1d ago

EDGAR, YOUR SKIN IS HANGING OFF YOUR BONES

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u/Pt5PastLight 1d ago

Well she’s in her 60s now. So I’d guess she tried to hold onto her younger beauty.

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u/BlockEightIndustries 1d ago

I'd like to see the results of running a photo of her from the 2000's through an aging algorithm to compare of different it is from her current appearance.

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u/FROG_HUMPER_ 1d ago

Mental illness

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u/axescentedcandles 1d ago

I'm thinking this.. body dysmorphia? Developing insecurity over aging?

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u/Savingskitty 1d ago

The one on the left was 40 years old. The one on the right is 62.  She made the biggest changes over 15 years ago.  This is the old work aging.

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u/cantmicro 1d ago

I'm not defending her, but i assume the left pic is probably a few years old and she was trying to look like he younger self.

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u/CantaloupeShort7311 1d ago

She still would have looked prettier aging naturally than whatever bullshit these quack surgeons did to her on purpose because she had money.

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u/Due-Mathematician966 1d ago

Its crazy how the ones with the most money get the worst plastic surgeons. I see this here in Palm Beach county a lot. Sad she didn't realize she needed absolutely zero done to herself.

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u/peepeebutt1234 1d ago

She probably had a good plastic surgeon but at a point you're just stretching scar tissue over more scar tissue and there is only so much you can do. Michelangelo would have struggled with the Sistine Chapel if the ceiling was made out of dried up lizard skin.

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u/chmath80 1d ago

she was trying to look like he younger self

Mission failed miserably.

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u/Specific_Collar_2949 1d ago

If it was reversed and she looks how she does now and wanted to look the the other picture, I would be at least a little sympathetic. She was gorgeous and now she looks like a melted manaquienne.

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u/yuckyuckmuckmuck1234 1d ago

I just don’t understand why her nose looks more bulbous and her eyebrows so much scarier. I get aging, but that wouldn’t create this dramatic of a change to the nose.

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u/Lizrael48 1d ago

Her make-up is terrible too! Enough with the heavy black eyeliner, when a woman is older than 50! And the brows, should try going with a light brown shade!

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u/quiltsohard 1d ago

The brows are just scary. Why go so dark with light hair? Her natural brows were a normal color in keeping with her facial tone and head hair. Just weird.

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u/JubBisc 1d ago

If she toned that makeup waaay back she’d really look better

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u/PandiBong 1d ago

Here's 200k - now fuck my shit up!

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u/TrowaMask 1d ago

I like to get a taste of this wanton self-destruction, for a few 0's taken off that price:

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u/flopisit32 1d ago

The picture on the left is not what she really used to look like. This is a pic from when they got married in 1989.

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u/Lonely_Cartographer 1d ago

i think she looks really good here. her nose is different but she is pretty with amazing skin and a great smile

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u/teamgrandali 1d ago

No one is here for sympathy

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u/Confirmation_Email 1d ago edited 1d ago

I'm not against criticizing her looks because I'm sympathetic with either of them, I'm against it because it undermines criticism of more substantive issues, and it's unhealthy for the people participating in the criticism and the people passively being entertained by it, even if they're not participating. We're all better off if we opt out of this type of thing in general.

ETA: I do however greatly value everyone's right to choose to participate if that's what they decide to do, I do not and would not support preventing people from exercising their free speech rights as they see fit.

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u/lee50_10 1d ago

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u/MrK521 1d ago

It angers me that so much money and resources are dumped into AI… but this is the only redeeming quality about it.

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u/bruceriv68 1d ago

Honestly she probably looks better in the morning without all the makeup.

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u/SuspiciousJuice5825 1d ago

Yeah I was thinking that too.

The foundation looked dry af, she had on the wrong color eyebrow pencil and too much of it, and too much eyeliner.

As people get older they often forget to adjust their makeup routine. So older skin tends to be drier than the skin of someone in their 30's so the ultra matte foundation you used for oil control at 32 makes you look weirdly chalky at 62.

She's getting a lot of crap, right or wrong but one thing is for certain she either needs to fire her makeup artist or hire one (if she's doing it herself.) It's also possible her artist did this on purpose. Makeup artists will occasionally do crappy makeup on purpose... remember that vanity fair magazine spread with Caroline Levitt a few years ago?

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u/readdator2 1d ago

...i think that was last year.

EDIT: Actually just checked, that issue came out 10 months ago 💀💀💀. Feels like years with allllll the fuckery going on. Enough fuckery to last a lifetime

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u/SuspiciousJuice5825 1d ago

Oh dang. It feels like a thousand years ago with the orange menace in office. Everyday is somehow a new crisis.

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u/One-Knowledge7097 1d ago

Hell, she looks better in this picture than she did at the White House. But shit, she would have to.

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u/Sorry_Chocolate2305 1d ago

what is he doing with Rodger from American dad

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u/EssOhh 1d ago

Wait, so he sleeps in the coffin too?!

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u/FWPiper 1d ago

Anyone who cozies up to Donald Trump for a press event opens themselves up to criticism, whether fair or unfair. Given Trump routinely makes nasty comments about women’s appearances she should have anticipated people would pick apart her strange, unnatural look.

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u/GoldOven4826 1d ago

And look at what that did

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u/Simsalabimson 1d ago

That prenup must be more horrifying than the wake up call…

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u/Thedarkhunt 1d ago

I’d rather wake up next to a sleep paralysis demon

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u/0neshoein 1d ago

Is that not what she is?

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u/I_Maiden_Walk9404 1d ago

Poor guy wants us to understand his suffering seeing that everyday. Even whether we're in the Halloween season or not.

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u/Vicissitutde 1d ago

We are equally sorry you have to wake up next to that

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u/Tumble85 1d ago

No we are not sorry for them, they are billionaires cozying up with MAGA for power.

She just happens to look as ghoulish outside as they all are inside.

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u/oldbutterface 1d ago

Hes all head and no face, and shes all face and no head.

Unironically, they would both look great if they surgically swapped faces. He has so much real estate there and he doesnt need it.

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u/RedIcarus1 1d ago

I don’t think I could fall asleep knowing she’s in the same room…

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u/combine-tow-monsters 1d ago

Why is he waking up next to my sleep paralysis demon?

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u/SkidRauh 1d ago

It's not the flex he thinks it is

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u/LordThistleWig 1d ago

That's not the flex he thinks it is.

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u/casuallyregarded 1d ago

Imagine you lose her somewhere in the house?

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u/unknownpoltroon 1d ago edited 1d ago

"im the one that gets to wake up next to her" they cut off the "screaming" 

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u/MacheteBrizz 1d ago

She sleeps in a terrarium beside his bed.

https://giphy.com/gifs/c7vGcKNM2cHGOVSJo1

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u/Pete_maravich 1d ago

No you're the one who HAS to wake up next to her

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u/SupahBihzy 1d ago

The take away from his message "why the hell are YOU people complaining?"

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u/Teamanglerx 1d ago

Does he realize that’s not a flex…

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u/TRDOffRoadGuy 1d ago

He said 'You should try waking up next to her!'

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u/El_Guap 1d ago

No need for coffee with that jump scare in the morning.

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u/6495ED 1d ago

How does he even fit in the same coffin?

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u/ThePopeofHell 1d ago

Just looking at these to you can tell their house fucking stinks

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u/NeighborhoodLife3408 1d ago

If this is what wealthy looks like, I'm quite happy thank you....

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u/New-Analysis-4060 1d ago

If you microwaved a candy corn and then brought her to life you would have Susan Dell

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u/Decent_Camel8977 1d ago

Yeah and good luck to him I guess.

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u/Bananaramajama420 1d ago

Nice try buddy, but we know you plug your "wife" into the wall. You can't lay it down or the battery might overheat and explode

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u/polskapoker 1d ago

Is he saying as in " I am the who deals with this , help me "

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u/KHhtswhtppl 1d ago

Older pictures she was so cute but why do they do this to themselves?

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u/AngryDesignMonkey 1d ago

Not the flex he thinks it is ...

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u/Big-Significance3409 1d ago

Fuck this rich idiot. All they do is take and now he wants to take any ones sympathy

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u/linkedinlover69 1d ago

Monster on top of the bed