New set of rules

[u/Art_and_the_zen]

I'm posting this as a way of making it feel more real and keep myself accountable. I stayed sober for 134 out of the past 140 days and I found out some things about how I do and don't like smoking weed. Giving moderation another try now, I'm going to try going by the following set of rules for my weed consumption:

1. Never solo: Smoking alone is a trap for me, specially inside my own house. I don't like how it makes me feel and how it affects my life. I get way too complacent, lazy and obsessive with it. It quickly becomes a daily habit and hinders my ability to do anything else. So I'm prohibiting myself from doing it entirely. What I missed the most while I was sober was smoking with other people anyway.

2. No stash: Keeping weed in my house is simply way too much temptation to deal with. I get constant impulses to use it when it's right there, too readily available. My mind feels more at peace when I just don't have it with me. So I will only ever have what I'm using in that moment, and if it needs to be stored for a later time, it will remain with my partner or friends.

3. Weekends and holidays only: No "special occasions" during the week. No "just this time to wind down". No exceptions. If I have a birthday to go to on a Wednesday, I can very well go sober. Business days are for taking care of my life priorities and myself. I need my mind clear and sharp in order to build a life I'm proud of living.

4. Never when hanging out with friends unless it's planned: If I'm going out with friends and the plan is specifically to smoke and do something silly together, that's okay. But if I'm just going out with friends, period, I'm not going to smoke. I'm way better at socializing when I'm sober, and I want to actually be able to keep a conversation and remember what's going on in my friends' lives. I'm a better friend when I'm sober and I want my friends to have that version of me. I also enjoy other people's company way more when I'm clear-headed and present for it.

5. Late afternoon and night only (or after 4:20pm for reference): No wake and bakes. When I get high too early in the day, I spend the whole day in a haze, trying to get that high up again because I'm coming down in the middle of the day. It's not pleasant. There's no reason to do it. Better to just live through my day and get high when I know I'll be coming down right when it's time to call it a day.

6. Never if I'll have to hide it: There is simply no reason to smoke if I'll have to hide the fact that I'm high. So if I'm gonna be with my family, around kids, need to drive, or have to do anything important at all, I just won't smoke.

7. Never if I'm already going to do something awesome: If I'm going to a cool park, a museum, watching a cool movie, playing a cool game, going somewhere new, going out to exercise or trying a new activity, why should I smoke? I've discovered that I enjoy new, beautiful and exciting experiences way more when I'm sober. I get to feel more connected to nature, art and novelty when I'm experiencing it raw. Weed does not enhance everything as I once thought it did, it only blends it all together with its own flavor (in my experience). So I'd rather have all the different tastes of different experiences, and not make it all taste like being high.

8. Never let myself go because of it: I'm not allowed to smoke instead of doing things that are important to me. I'm not allowed to skip exercise to smoke. I'm not allowed to skip class or work to smoke. I'm not allowed to skip a meal to smoke. I'm not allowed to skip appointments to smoke. I'm not allowed to skip doing chores to smoke. I'm not allowed to skip socializing to smoke. Smoking comes after all of that, never before or instead.

9. That leaves me with the situations when I actually want to smoke - with my partner or friends, purposefully, in order to experience the high, do silly stuff together and eat some delicious food: Weed is great for me when I'm watching a stupid movie, a silly show, some crazy videos, playing a dumb video game or talking nonsense with friends and/or my boyfriend. Smoke weed - be silly - have some munchies-fueled ice cream - go to sleep - wake up sober and go live my life. That's where I want weed to be.

I will update here soon to tell you all how it's going!

This week in particular I don't see a reason why I would smoke, because on Friday I'm going to my mom's and I'll be back home by Wednesday next week. Should maybe only smoke on the weekend after the next then, if the right situation for it arises.

Stay healthy guys, you got this! Let's make this plant a detail and not the base of our lives!