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u/Salok9755 6h ago
I always joke that if I ever sat with a psychic, the visit would end with me saying "If you were really psychic you'd know I never intended to pay you"
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u/dankwhirley 3h ago
what if they knew that and intended to help you anyway? Would you know either way? You make assumptions which in and of itself is a form of faith. *gotcha*
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u/i_am_banished 6h ago
If the psychic was quick on it she could've said "i know that sweetheart, I DO the reading for you"
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u/Ray_Redfield 2h ago
It's one of those clever answers you come up with five years after while taking a shower
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u/ihavedonethisbe4 1h ago
Devastating move. The only way to respond would be to walk away in shame, tail between legs. Another response would be to turn your head back at them and then like do that squint-stare like your disappointed maybe and/or possibly like sus or somethin and then do the approval nod
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u/nutblaster357 4h ago
very epic chungus
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u/WillowPtar_Migan 28m ago
A guy with the name nutblaster357 with a stretched out profile picture trying to make fun of other people for sounding like Redditors.
Those in glass houses should not throw stones.
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u/JustAnotherLich 4h ago
I use this any time someone offers me a pamphlet or paper advert of some kind in public.
"Sorry, I can't read."
Gets some interested looks.
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u/xianwolf 3h ago
Wait, that's hilarious and way more fun than awkwardly avoiding eye contact or repeating no thank you. Like, what are they going to do? Hand me a picture book version?
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u/MycologistPutrid7494 4h ago
There was a guy who used to hand out New Testaments outside a building on campus when I was in college. My then boyfriend told him no thanks and explained he was Jewish, so Bible guy tried to force it into his hand while saying "you need this more than anyone." It really pissed me off so next time I saw him and he tried to put a Bible in my hand I said, "no thanks, I'm a virgin," and his brain just short circuited and he just stood there completely flabbergasted.
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u/Background_Island477 6h ago
She’d spend the whole day thinking maybe she heard wrong. No ma’am, I’m just dumb
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u/sadolddrunk 2h ago
If I was a psychic, instead of inviting people in for readings I’d stop the occasional person and say something like, “I know you’re skeptical, so I won’t try to convince you to come in for a reading, but whether we do a reading or not I strongly advise you to come in to my shop and wait a few minutes before you go about your day.”
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u/Cyrano_Knows 3h ago
Or.. (less likely).
That Psychic was actually a Time Traveller and this was the 82,238 third time they tried saying the world from a nuclear apocalypse worldwide taco shortage and for some reason, asking this question was the butterfly effect origin that kept it all from happening.
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u/Loser_Zero 1h ago
Was it the question or the answer that was the trigger? Was the end just triggered by this person saying they can't read? Lastly, will it take long and will it hurt?
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u/PaupersSerenades 1h ago
I know I’m a person on the internet and this is going to sound comically fake, but I swear it’s true.
We were doing a family cruise and my younger brother had a photography thing he had to do. So we walked down some Jamaican streets by the port. Big mistake. I was getting bad feeling all around. This guy starts following me talking about how he can make a party fun.
I panicked and said “no thanks, I’m more into reading” and it’s become a bit of family lore.
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u/Thereminz 43m ago
'didn't you already know i wasn't going to come in? or are you just a con artist?'
lol one time there was this psychic giving readings during a fair or something so she had a table set up outside...she was all cheerie when someone left and then i sat down and i was like 'uh how do you feel lying to people all day? making up shit and conning people out of money?' she just humphed and folded her arms and didn't look at me lol
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u/tryyeezus 36m ago
I would say smugly "Hmmffff, if you were actually psychic, you would know I'm not going to do that"
shake my head and walk away
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u/ironrabbit2 19m ago
My dad's rule is that he will ONLY get a reading if the psychic says something like "I knew you'd be by today". Hasn't happened yet!
Meanwhile, I had one tell me that I was halfway between an indigo child and "what's that word? That thing [name] is. Autistic!"
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u/qualityvote2 6h ago
Heya u/Monsur_Ausuhnom! And welcome to r/NonPoliticalTwitter!
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