r/Millennials • u/rageagainstmymachin • 8h ago
Discussion Fellow millennials: does tipping culture make you not even want to buy a F-N coffee anymore?
I’m 37, born in 1989. Growing up, my understanding was that you tipped at restaurants where somebody came to your table and served you. The way I was raised, 10% was normal, 15% was generous, and 20% meant excellent service. That’s what I grew up with, before anyone turns this into an argument about restaurant percentages.
Outside of that, tips were mostly optional. Tow truck driver helps me late at night on a difficult job? Here’s an extra $20. Repairman goes above and beyond? Maybe $40 or $50. Something you chose to do because you appreciated somebody.
Now I can’t even order a coffee without feeling like I’m having a fucking moral dilemma.
Dutch Bros is the worst about this in my experience. They take your order, hold out the tablet, look you dead in the eye, and ask, “Would you like to leave a tip?”
Bro. You just took my order. I haven’t even gotten the coffee yet.
Sometimes I’m going straight to the window, so nobody even came out to my car. Same question. I say no, and now I’m sitting there waiting for my drink in this awkward silence, feeling guilty over something that’s supposedly optional.
It’s not that I’m broke. It’s not that I can’t afford an extra dollar or two. I just don’t like being put on the spot every time I buy something. Having the money doesn’t mean I want every transaction to come with a guilt trip.
Starbucks feels a little less awkward, especially when I order through the app. Scan, get my drink, move on. But at the window, that tip screen still gets put right in front of you. One dollar, two dollars, three dollars… dude, I just wanted a coffee. How did this become another decision I have to justify to myself?
And my frustration is mostly with the corporations setting this up. Why make employees ask customers directly? Why create this uncomfortable interaction between the person buying a drink and the person making it? It feels like these companies want customers to take responsibility for making sure their workers get paid enough.
Pay your people properly. If I want to leave something extra, let it actually be extra.
Maybe nobody behind the counter gives a shit when I hit “no tip.” Maybe some of that awkwardness is in my own head. But the way the question gets asked absolutely makes it feel like there’s a right answer, and “no” isn’t it.
Yes, this is a first-world problem. I know. But it’s getting to the point where I’d rather skip going altogether than deal with it.
I just want a motherfucking coffee.
Are other millennials feeling this? Where do you draw the line between something you’re happy to tip for and being asked to tip just because you bought something?
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u/Bubbly_Concern_7522 8h ago
I have absolutely no problem selecting "No TIP" when presented. Especially at an arena or venue where the markup is already insane. If I am standing up when I receive my item, I'm not tipping.
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u/They_Have_a_Point 8h ago
I went to a local arena the other day and bought a couple bottles of water from a self-serve stand. As I was paying the first question was whether I wanted to leave a tip… to WHO? My self? I served myself! It was insane!
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u/Bubbly_Concern_7522 8h ago
That is insanity, on top of $9 bottled water (at my local arena anyways)
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u/MeanCantaloupe69 2h ago
I wonder when tips became mandatory? Like tips was always about giving someone extra for service, but suddenly it's become 20% tip each time or you're an asshole?
Fine I'll be an asshole then.
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u/SloanBueller 8h ago
The worst is asking for tips at merch stands. No, I won’t be tipping for being handed a t-shirt marked up to $40, lol.
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u/flabbyjabber Older Millennial 8h ago
The ONLY time I'll consider tipping at a merch stand is if it's a small venue and they aren't getting a cut. I go to a lot of very small venues hosting small/localish bands. I'll toss em a few extra because then I know it's going to the band and/or their staff. But any Ticketmaster/Live Nation or AXS show.... Abso-fucking-lutely not.
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u/_AskMyMom_ ‘92 8h ago
Lol fucking hate paying $20 for a tall can, dude reaches into the fridge directly behind them, or the ice bucket next to him, and it prompts a tip. FUCK NO I’m not tipping.
Just paid for a 30pack that’s on sale, you took two steps, and now I’m supposed to tip!?
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u/holyfuckbuckets 8h ago
This felt so terrible. I mean I agree with you but I hit “no tip” at a concert for this a couple months ago and it was one of my first times not tipping for something. It feels wrong not to tip a bartender…
But like you said it’s a $20(!!!) can and all they did was open it.
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u/LoveDietCokeMore 7h ago
Absolutely do NOT tip bartenders for opening a freaking beer can .... especially when that can is $20 at the concert
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u/hollabackyo87 7h ago
I did this once at a concert because my old lady brain thought, "cash tip"... Nope, no cash accepted at all, duh. The best part is that the gal working, whom did not receive a tip, saw the company name on my debit card and mentioned she works there, too... I had anxiety for weeks thinking that she was gonna look me up at work and tell everyone that I don't tip haha. The peer pressure to tip is real. 🥹
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u/firesoups 7h ago
Went to a hockey game with my man. We used the walk up coolers that just have a cashier at the end to really just run security so no one walks out. We scanned our own drinks and it’s a cash free venue so we tapped our own cards. He bought the first round, i bought the second. When he saw me cash out he goes you didn’t tip?! I said, you DID?!?
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u/Black_Doc_on_Mars 8h ago
Ill do it if they have a physical tip jar and I have cash I’ll contribute especially if you can tell that the tips seriously help the front staff
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u/LoveDietCokeMore 8h ago
It took everything in me not to laugh out loud about tipping the bartender at the concert after my frozen margarita is now $22 and it isn't the big one. No ma'am, I will NOT be tipping, no matter what cause you're trying to get tips for.
Tip for what exactly? You listened when I asked for lime and strawberry, and put in the right liquor? That's the job 👏
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u/MiceWarriors 7h ago
Except at a bar or club. But low key if I’m waiting 10 min+ and standing around, it does feel like a rip off
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u/Bubbly_Concern_7522 8h ago
Also may I add, I'm not rounding up or donating to a charity when the Corporation asking makes tons more than I do. Donate yourselves!
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u/HeyJudeWhat 3h ago
I work for a charity and used to process gifts. It’s so unbelievably annoying to get donations of 47 cents or 3 cents. It comes to us in an excel file and 99% of them don’t come with names so you get 100 donations adding up to less than $50.
The companies like RoundUp charge a processing fee so a lot of the donations don’t even matter.
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u/OG-DocHavock 5h ago
Then they'll just add it all up for more tax write offs that they paid 0 dollars into
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u/lionheartedthing 8h ago
I will say that the corporation doesn’t benefit when you do donate but these corporate fundraisers where you round up or the ones where 10% of your bill at Shake Shack or whatever goes to your kid’s school do generate a meaningful amount of money for the charities. My kid’s school runs a whole food pantry on money raised doing those fundraisers.
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u/Bubbly_Concern_7522 8h ago
I choose which charities and organizations I donate to. I'm not rounding up at Stop & Shop on their already inflated prices when Stop & Shop has millions and can donate their own money.
I'm not talking about school fundraisers.→ More replies (6)→ More replies (1)20
u/ZelgadisTL 7h ago
The corporations do benefit from those donations. Because they then take your money, donate it, and get a tax incentive for doing it. They spend $0, and reduce their taxable amount.
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u/lionheartedthing 7h ago
That’s actually a myth that corporations get tax benefits from customers rounding up!
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u/omgwtfbbq0_0 5h ago
No, you cannot take a tax deduction from money you didn’t spend, even if you were the one to collect it. This is an irritating myth that needs to die.
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u/OneLorgeHorseyDog 6h ago
I always think about the story of the redditor who got a great ride to scholarship from the Taco Bell charity funded by those round-ups. I’m alright with a few pennies there. It makes entering it my budget layer slightly easier anyway lol
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u/atstory1 4h ago
I found out lots of these places have already donated, you’re actually paying them back for their donation.
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u/rockmanzerox06 8h ago
I have no idea why my fellow millennials have such a hard time pressing 0%. It’s easy. It’s an unemotional business transaction.
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u/iwrite4food 8h ago
I mean to be fair as someone that worked in the service industry we were a pretty outspoken generation about proper tipping, but that was also when an actual service was involved.
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u/rockmanzerox06 8h ago
I would agree if it was a sit down place and I’m being waited upon. Being handed coffee at the P.O.S. is not being waited upon.
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u/Uncreative-Name 5h ago
I've got no shame about hitting 0% when it's appropriate. When the payment machine starts at 20% and I have to take the time figure out a custom amount closer to 15% is when I get uncomfortable.
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u/AimlessPeacock 4h ago
I tip for take out often because I live in a small town and people will start to recognize me, so it’s good to be on their good side. But one of my favorite takeout places not only adds on credit card processing fees, but then asks for a tip where the lowest option is 20%. Fuck that, I’m hitting no tip every time.
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u/DarlaGoGo Older Millennial 8h ago
It’s the guilt I think? Personally I don’t really want to tip a rude college kid who looked. Entirely annoyed and bored taking my drink order but also… I don’t wanna be seen as rude or ungrateful myself!
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u/halexanderamilton 7h ago
As a former barista, the only people I judged for not tipping were the ones who ordered several drinks or the ones who were super particular with a zillion modifications.
If you’re getting an iced coffee or a vanilla latte or something simple, don’t feel guilty about not tipping.
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u/Aprils-Fool 8h ago
But you don’t even know the person. Why do you care if they misunderstand you as being rude or ungrateful?
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u/OneLorgeHorseyDog 6h ago
I feel like this is a cultural divide. Most Americans want to give and receive social kindness in this kind of transaction, where many Europeans (recognizing that Europe is not a monolith and varies from country to country) may not.
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u/Aprils-Fool 5h ago
You can be kind and respectful without giving a tip. Not tipping on a coffee doesn’t make someone rude.
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u/silvermoka 7h ago
Because they also don't understand that the stranger they just saw for the first time in their life may not actually be bored or annoyed either
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u/rockmanzerox06 8h ago
Have you tried being braver? I have no clue how folks got conditioned to be this weak.
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u/SaraHoover 6h ago
I'm afraid that if i leave no tip, they'll spit in my drink or do something else to my food 😭
(My paranoia comes from the youtube comment section under south park's 'boogers and cum' song where tons of food service workers brag about the horrendous things they do to people's food)
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u/winniecooper73 Xennial 7h ago
If I pay before receiving my food, no tip. If I pay after I receive my food, tip. Easy as that.
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u/somecow 7h ago
So damn true. And if there’s not an option for “no” (there always is somewhere, just gotta use your eyes), walk away.
You handed me a donut. I’m not fucking tipping. I also made your food, I’m over here hot, hungry, sore, tired, broke, and working my ass off. I don’t get tips. The server that brought you out a glass of water comes into my kitchen and cries because they only made $300 in one five hour shift, bitch, I’ve been here for almost 15 hours and still haven’t made nearly that much.
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u/akpaul89 5h ago
You can and should, but it feels like they're guilt tripping you at the same time.
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u/Terrible_Salt7906 8h ago
It was better back when it was a jar on the counter that you could put a dollar in if you wanted to.
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u/_buffy_summers 7h ago
My bank has a tip jar now. They all earn more money than I do, and they know it. They see my paychecks.
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u/WeAreAllMadHere218 6h ago
wtf are we tipping at a mf bank now? That’s ridiculous. Like, I’m kinda offended that’s even a thing.
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u/paradoxpancake 7h ago
My line on tipping is this:
If I'm being seated and being given extensive service to where you're literally waiting on me, I will tip you. If I'm seated at a restaurant, I tip. If I'm doing take out, I rarely tip. This is because my food is often going from kitchen to me with no in-between barring the brief moment someone hands it to me.
I tip for massages because that's 1-2 hours you put detailed work into me. For haircuts, I also tip because my Mom was a cosmetologist. They're standing almost all day and putting effort into my hair.
Now, someone might ask: "Why not tip your mechanic? Why not tip other people on their feet all day who do an extended service for you?" Because it gets out of hand really fast. While I understand that my decisions are somewhat arbitrary, most of those professions aren't basing their incomes off of tips either like the restaurant industry does.
Personally, I blame those digital payment terminals for tipping getting out of hand.
A Starbucks barista shouldn't be making their income based on tips. They're going from counter to me. There's no waiting involved like a sit-down restaurant. If that is how Starbucks' wage system currently works, it's time to assess whether or not Starbucks should have its business model as they currently do.
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u/atomsk404 5h ago
Well said. One add...I don't tip my mechanic cause he's some dude working at the dealership I never even met. Bill in service who sucked at answering questions surely doesn't earn one.
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u/thrown100away100 4h ago
My mechanic goes above and beyond, they dont get a tip because they set their rate. $125 an hour + parts. We have an agreement. I am paying you to perform a service that I either don't know how to do or am too lazy to do or don't have time to do. In return for doing a good job, I keep coming back, somtimes with real work and sometimes with pet projects that just make them money. This applies to most services.
I do time my barber because they rent a chair, most of their actual income is from the tip. They are their own boss but dont get to set the prices, the shop takes a hefty cut. Yes they chose to work there but there are only so many options.
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u/ninjakitty117 6h ago
I've always tipped like 25% for a hair cut, but not just because they're on their feet. I appreciate the skill required to make a hair cut look good. I also have a stylist that I sit in her chair and she says "the usual?" And I'm like, "yep". And I don't have to try and explain my preferred hair cut every 3 months.
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u/rizaroni 5h ago
My stylist was adamant that she builds all that into what she charges, and that tips aren't necessary. She owns the salon and has a LOT MORE money than I do, so I just go with it.
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u/Mand125 4h ago
But why is the price not just 25% higher?
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u/ninjakitty117 4h ago
Because it was a chain salon where my stylist was an employee who didn't set the prices?
Also, even after she went independent, the price of a hair cut and eyebrow wax (my usual) came out to $45, and I value that service closer to $60, so I paid $60.
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u/allllusernamestaken 5h ago
i tip my barber because after cutting my hair all these years she's gotten it down to 15 minutes flat so she spends the rest of my appointment time on a scalp massage
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u/Square_Ad849 5h ago
in the beginning of COVID local news channels did stories on restaurants laying staff off and they preached, “tip your restaurant workers for the makeshift drive through orders and to go orders”.
It just seemed to get out of control from then.
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u/Plastic-Pension7263 5h ago
It was definitely a corporate agreement to put those screens out requesting tips just to see what they could get away with. Now I’m betting it’s used internally to balance out bad wages and bad views on pay from employees. At least it delays it. Saying “plus tips” is going to get a fair amount more people to accept the job at first. It’s so vague. Tipping on delivery and sit in seems enough. Or anything where someone has to individually give you special attention.
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u/Superb_Freedom9937 8h ago
Just get comfortable with hitting "no tip" every time. It's almost a reflex for me at this point. I still tip people who actually wait on me 20+%, but I never tip for anything at registers anymore.
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u/Jacks_CompleteApathy 7h ago
Yeah I'm not sure how there's any moral dilemma. By far most people don't tip at a register, and some cashiers even say aloud "hit the red button/skip" because they don't expect a tip.
Only exception for me is if it's a small operation and I want to support the business a little extra
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u/needsmorevolts 7h ago
It’s these motherfucking POS systems that integrate the tip into the transaction. No one ever mentions this when they talk about tipping, (I mean like radio conversations, online articles etc) it’s not so much that “tipping culture” is out of control, it’s mostly that no one uses cash and everyone uses cards and every business uses these terminals. I’m sure they could turn the function off but why would you? I mostly use cash for anything like coffee and so I don’t have to deal with this problem, I’ll just leave something in the tip jar, or not.
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u/RecipeFunny2154 6h ago
I comment this a lot, but I found out a a while back that things like Square collect a percentage on the total, including the tip. It’s completely in their best interest to shove this in front of everybody’s faces because it adds up across the country.
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u/SentientSeamoth 7h ago
Had a POS system with no way to opt out of a tip, and tipping was 18% minimum. It was a cafe where you had to pour your own coffee lmao, so I left without paying
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u/J_FROm 6h ago
I love reading it as a "piece of shit" system and in this case, it sounds like it is.
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u/10000Didgeridoos 5h ago
Absolutely love the places nowadays that try to guilt you into tips when you are the one doing the work and not an employee. How about no
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u/LelanaSongwind 8h ago
Yup. I’ve stopped tipping at places that don’t give me sit down service. If I’m taking my order from a counter, you don’t get a tip…
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u/mangomarongo Xennial 2h ago
I’m a bartender so it pains me not to tip. That said, even I have limits. There’s a local fast food chain where I live. You place your order at a kiosk, pick up your order at the counter, get your own condiments at the condiment station, and bus your own table when you leave. And yet they ask for a tip when you place your order. I’m sorry, but even I can’t.
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u/xEllimistx 8h ago
Dude....fucking Cici's of all places asks for tips now.
Cici's.
Arguably the worst, cheap buffet pizza you can buy. Like....if this was Night City, Buck a Slice is probably better quality.
It's insane.
I'm literally doing all the work here. I'm filling my own plate and drink, walking to and from the buffet. I don't even get the special ordered pizza. I just get what's available at the buffet.
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u/ThisIsPureTrash Millennial 87 8h ago
It’s not that I’m broke. It’s not that I can’t afford an extra dollar or two. I just don’t like being put on the spot every time I buy something. Having the money doesn’t mean I want every transaction to come with a guilt trip.
Just hit no tip or tell them no, the employees at these places don't give a fuck. There is no guilt trip.
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u/xResilientEvergreenx 5h ago
Not completely true. At a few of the mom-and-pop places I've gone to there were a couple workers that acted really rude when I hit no tip. One place in Seattle even blatantly shamed me for a lack of tip for takeout. FUCKING TAKEOUT.
The place more recently was a coffee shop near the aquarium and it was $20 for two really terrible venti lattes. The worker was rude as fuck when I hit no tip and there prices were advertised WRONG on their website and the board. Or I wouldn't have gone there in the first place.
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u/lucasbrosmovingco 8h ago
One thing I can never understand is why tip anxiety is a thing. Just don't get it. I will bang that no tip button hard. With zero remorse.
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u/MastiffArmy 7h ago
I think for some there’s a fear that your order will get messed with.
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u/fuckfacemgeee 7h ago
I’ve had my ordered all fucked up because I didn’t tip with card. I was going to tip cash so yea I avoid many restaurants now. There’s a few where they’re starting to do no tip restaurants where they pay the servers well
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u/sukekiyos Millennial 8h ago
right? the anxiety and anger is wild. people act like the workers ( especially at bigger corporations like Starbucks ) put the option there just to make them uncomfortable or shamed. just be polite, hit no, move on. most of the time we're busy multitasking anyway, we don't even notice. the only time i ever took offense was when people had to make a rude or unnecessary comment to me about it. that's actually insulting, not declining the tip.
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u/Gh0stMan0nThird 8h ago
I don't really go anywhere if it isn't a cheap burger place (under $14 per person) twice a month or a fancy steakhouse ($50 or more per person) twice a year.
The mid-range Applebee's/Oliver Garden/etc. experience is dead to me.
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u/AfraidOfArguing Zillennial 8h ago
Definitely dont see me on doordash either. I ain't spending an extra $20 to get cold food delivered.
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u/SpecificAnt9202 8h ago
doordash is fucking mind boggling to me. paying extra money for cold, soggy food.
we have able bodied neighbors who door dash 1-3x per day. and its mcdonalds which is on the moms drive home from school drop off. doordash arrives 3 mins after she gets back.
like, you're paying all these fees and a tip for your pure laziness? if i'm getting mcdonalds, i'm IMMEDIATELY eating it while its hot.
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u/criminal_pedestrian 8h ago
There’s nothing more American than eating fast food while sitting in your car. The cultured among us go somewhere with a nice view so we can doomscroll and scarf chicken nuggets while surrounded by beauty
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u/FellowHuman420 8h ago
Reddit has led me to believe that everyone using DoorDash is disabled and incapable of making food.
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u/Possibly_a_Firetruck 7h ago
Lol everyone says that like disabled people just starved to death before private on demand burrito taxis were invented.
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u/Full_Metal_Paladin Millennial 8h ago
You know what's crazy, is Chilis and Applebees have those like "3 for me" or "meal for two" deals, and most of the time it's actually cheaper to go to Chili's than to get a numbered meal at a regular-ass drive through like McDonalds.
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u/WeaselPhontom 8h ago
I only tip for artisnal coffee like they creating cat shapes out of whip creme on my hot cider
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u/Choopster 8h ago
People, for the love of all that is holy, "No Tip", "Skip", and $0.00 are all legal options!
"I can't do that people are watching!!"...no they aren't, but if you literally cant, then tip $1.
I have given you the answers and it's an open book test, good luck!
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u/firesoups 7h ago
I work for tips and don’t tip for a coffee, or on take out for that matter.
The exception is the coffee shop right next door to my work. They see me walking in, greet me by name, and ask if I’m having hot or frozen today. They get a tip because I feel bad not giving one after that celebrity treatment.
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u/Actually-Yo-Momma 6h ago
I can’t believe i feel pressure to tip 10% on take out. Like if i sat down, ate, and got service then somehow that is only worth an additional 10% and the first 10% is simply for existing in the building?
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u/Responsible-Fox-1985 6h ago edited 1h ago
I work in the restaurant industry. Tips are for servers in restaurants, because that’s how they get paid. Everything else is optional.
Most POS systems have a built in tip section. But just because it’s there doesn’t mean they are EXPECTING a tip.
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u/GoblinQueen_N 7h ago
Yeah that's a good idea. Definitely tip where you're a regular like that. If you continue to go and tip, they may start to "hook you up" with a little something extra on the side, or one day charge you for a small etc.
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u/firesoups 7h ago
I didn’t even start throwing the tip on there until they started remembering me. The first time it happened I got into work and went, well fuck, I guess my coffee costs a dollar more now.
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u/red_raconteur 6h ago
We are "regulars" at our town's one and only coffee shop. We only go 2-3 times a month, but our kids make us kinda memorable. Everyone there is really friendly and nice to my kids, so I tip 20%. At some point, the upcharge for oat milk disappeared and my kids' juice boxes suddenly counted for a punch on the loyalty card.
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u/Drmeanleany 8h ago
“Having the money doesn’t mean I want every transaction to come with a guilt trip.”
Amen. I bought two hotdogs at a stand the other day. I asked for a cheese cup as well. When I paid ,the card terminal asked me for a tip 3 freaking times. So the woman at the register saw me declining to tip THREE freaking times. She angrily tossed me the bag and made a comment about “broke cheap ass people “ to her friend. In no way shape or form am i tipping someone for picking up a bag and setting it on the counter. Shits ridiculous
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u/Unfair_Highlight2142 8h ago
Tip culture has gone out of control to the point that nonfood businesses are doing it. If I'm going to the counter, ordering, and getting my food or coffee at the counter, why do you need a tip. I might tip sometimes if it's a small business.
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u/flyingcircusdog Zillennial 8h ago
Tipping culture isn't the issue. Rising prices and declining quality are the issue. What used to be a $12 sandwich and fries is now $18 and has less meat.
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u/AnUnkn0wnUnkn0wn 7h ago
THIS!! Say it louder for the people at the back. Quality and service has declined yet we are expected to pay more? Make it make sense.
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u/lemoneegees 8h ago
Nope. I have no problem skipping a tip for counter service and also no problem not returning to places that make it awkward. It's not hard, there are options.
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u/Separate_Delivery724 8h ago
I'm a millennial '85. I was raised that 20% was normal, extra for great service, and you tip a dollar or two if you're getting single drinks.
You tip your regular service people yearly (mail people, etc) and then make sure you're offering refreshments if you have people over to do a one time service. I stick to that.
I don't tip for regular counter service (slice of pizza) or anything like that.
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u/putitinmymoth 7h ago
In high school/college I waited tables. I made that $2.13/hour, which was fine because I got tips. Waiting tables is much more complicated than handing someone their food at the counter (and def more than a can from the fridge!). I was expected to essentially perform, I had to have a SPIEL! “Have you guys been here before? No? WELLLLL let me tell you how things work here at basic chain restaurant!” You build a relationship with the table, you work hard trying to get everything right, engage with the kids etc, in hopes of a good tip. It’s way more involved than counter service. But if I wanted a shot at making more than my friends who were working counters for $7/hour, I had to put in that work. So yeah, the tip screens everywhere bother me. And I feel not tipping either gets your food messed with or at the very least, I’m put in the position to show the person in front of me that I don’t think they deserve any extra money, lol. I’m not rich, these dollars do add up, and it has affected how often I order food/drink. But, it seems like these are the times we live in now. I haven’t heard a server spiel in ages lol.
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u/BrightWubs22 5h ago
I made that $2.13/hour
I want to add that servers in the US are legally entitled to minimum wage. If servers don't make minimum wage with tips, then the restaurant legally must boost their pay so they make minimum wage.
I know minimum wage is not a living wage, but the $2.13/hour misunderstanding needs to stop.
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u/10000Didgeridoos 4h ago
Also it’s misleading because no server anywhere other than maybe rural bumfuck where a diner gets five total customers a day is making minimum wage. The entire reason servers here generally oppose getting rid of tip culture for a flat wage is they know they make far more per hour with tips than they ever would being paid hourly without them. No one I’ve known bartending or serving has ever made less than like $20 an hour averaging all their shifts together.
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u/insertcaffeine 8h ago
The tipping debate is great for rich people. It turns broke people against each other, while allowing business owners to pay less by offering tips as a “perk.”
Having worked coffee shops and food delivery, I tip a shitload every time I order—it’s part of what I budget for the little treat.
That said, I would patronize restaurants, coffee shops, and other businesses that paid a living wage instead of soliciting tips if I could find them, in order to chip away at tip culture.
Trying to paint low-paid workers in jobs that suck and require way more work than anything in an office isn’t where it’s at.
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u/lovemeganjoy 8h ago
Thank you. I’m so tired of people referring to servers as thieves and grifters. Serving is hard work.
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u/ImminentDebacle 86' 7h ago
I've literally never heard anyone say that about a server in all my 40 years of life.
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u/Lizardgirl25 7h ago
It is emotionally exhausting everyone asking for a tip.
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u/iDabGlobzilla 7h ago
Was just at the smoke shop getting a new bong, dude flipped the screen around and hit me with the "it's gonna ask you a couple of questions". I was completely gobsmacked, fucking percentage started at 18% and went to 30%. Completely unhinged.
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u/Captain_Wompus 8h ago
We go to a yogurt / ice cream place that does the “build your own” bowl and pay based on weight. All the different toppings you could ever choose from.
There’s a tipping screen when you pay. I never tip, because no service was provided. I made my own damn bowl. Get that screen outta here.
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u/Different_Stage2195 8h ago
I was born in ‘85. Growing up, tipping at a coffee shop was normal. Not mandatory, but tip jars were always a thing. I agree that tipping culture is out of hand, but acting like tipping at a coffee shop of all places isn’t normal is disingenuous.
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u/Probwfls 8h ago
Same principle as a bar. $1 per drink unless it’s something complicated, then it’s $2.
It’s ridiculous to apply the 20% rule to these settings but very easy to just tip what you would in the before times
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u/Smart_Imagination903 8h ago
Thank you!
Baristas are skilled labor, they provide customer service at the counter, and they are always going the extra mile to get complicated drink orders correct.
I have no problem tipping a barista for my coffee. If it's drip coffee and they hand me an empty cup and j go fill it at a self service station, then maybe no tip unless I also ordered food or they really made my day.
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u/Cold-Pool4027 8h ago
I hit "no tip" anytime I'm not waited on somewhere. I tip at restauraunts, food delivery services, car washes, valets, and if I drank I'd tip at the bar. I tip where you're supposed to. I'm not adding a tip at the bagel store when they just fucked me on an overpriced egg sandwich that doesn't even come with a coffee anymore and I'm not tipping at the pizza place when I pick my shit up
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u/Postnet921 8h ago
I went to the mall one time and ordered a frozen lemonade at auntie Anne they said it's going to ask u a couple of questions so they were asking for tip my order was 7.00 the recommended tips was 3.25
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u/Bad-Moon-Rising Xennial 8h ago
Devil's advocate, the people who work there aren't the ones who put the option there. What else should they say to make sure the transaction finishes?
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u/jrev8 Millennial 8h ago
F that, all they do is pour the lemonade into the goddamn cup. also 7 dollars for frozen lemonade is wild
we live in the worst timeline
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u/opaldewberry 8h ago
It's employers responsibility to pay their staff the minimum wage, not yours.
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u/james702283 7h ago
I have no problem just selecting zero on most of those ridiculous places. At the same time if it’s a mom and pop style coffee shop, i usually do tip the barista. They are customizing and making your drink, same as a bartender would. You wouldn’t go to a bar and not leave your bartender a tip.
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u/Gold_Advisor_4758 7h ago
I also don’t tip when I don’t want to but really a barista at a mom n pop and a barista at a chain do the same thing
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u/I_Fart_It_Stinks 6h ago
This is like saying you won't tip a server at Chili's but would at a local joint
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u/handbagqueen- 1989 8h ago
I usually order on the app to avoid this. But lately I’ve been just being savage and hitting the no tip and not feeling guilty. I now only try to tip if I sit down and you take my order and bring out my food.
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u/awakeatnight3 8h ago
I tip at the hair salon and if I have a sit down meal. I was just reading on one of the businesses I frequent that the tips only go to employees over a certain amount of hours which means only the management essentially because they will only hire part timers. That same business asks for a tip when I use the app to order and pick up my food from a side window typically with 0 interaction.
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u/dv282828 8h ago
My dilemma is if I should tip the budtenders at my dispensary. They aren’t really serving me and are mostly trying to upsell stuff. But they’re nice and hook it up sometimes too. If your job is more to sell something and not really serve or tend to people, I don’t feel as guilty. Shit typing this I remembered I just went to get my car emissions tests and they asked for a tip too.
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u/T-WrecksArms 8h ago
Yeah we bought a Nespresso and some creamer and flavoring. We save probably $500 per year.
12oz of Nespresso and creamer is like $1.50 cost break down
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u/metalchode 8h ago
I used to be a bartender so I’m usually a good tipper for bars, restaurants, salons and other typical services. I’m not leaving 20%+ for ordering at a counter.
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u/HugeFalconMunee 8h ago
One thing that bugs me is since every situation asks for a tip now, I feel like a lot of people are adopting a “screw tipping” philosophy and probably not tipping a regular restaurant or somewhere that you’re supposed to. So the whole system is undermined. I was a server and made good money 15 years ago. A proper tipping system attracts higher quality employees and yields better service.
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u/Super_Lock1846 8h ago
I hit the 15% option since I've definitely seen differences in how the food is after without hitting it.
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u/glassArmShattering 8h ago
Yes this is the paradox. Situations that deserve a tip ask you after service and it would be easy to stiff them. Situations that don't deserve anything ask you up front, so you have to consider it a ransom to not get your food messed with.
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u/Sunshineafterr ‘86 8h ago edited 8h ago
It’s out of control. And sorry, but why am I also required to tip a hairstylist that sets their own prices and is already charging $300+ for the service to begin with? I also once had a hairstylist require a tip for ringing up hair extensions (no service involved) at the cash register, and the minimum I could tip was 20% on $500 hair.
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u/Greedy_Big8275 8h ago
Yeah I don’t understand why we tip hair stylists and house cleaners. I totally understand tipping waiters, waitresses, and bartenders, along with valet workers and people like that.
I just got my hair done today and it was $221. I tipped $40….. my hairstylist gets paid well already. I mean she even gets PTO.
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u/ImpertinentPrincess 8h ago
I thought that originally it was because they rented their space and 50% off the top goes to the shop. But people who have their own salon or work out of their own house have the opportunity to set their prices themselves.
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u/Gold_Advisor_4758 7h ago
You’re not required to. Say “I don’t want to tip on these hair extensions” and if they say it’s required, leave.
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u/Creepy_Song5083 8h ago
The price of coffee makes me not want to buy coffee while out anymore, but I share your overall sentiment for tipping in general. I'll stick to take out and making my own food/drinks. The last time I provided a tip for service at an establishment was prior to Covid.
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u/Sea_Letterhead_1800 Xennial 8h ago
I have no problem not tipping for coffee, food pickup or in other situations just because a screen “suggests” it. I works those jobs before and didn’t expect to be paid. Sit down restaurants, getting my hair done, the traditional tipping scenarios, I tip what I feel is appropriate, because that is what a tip is. It’s not necessary, it’s a “thanks”.
I’m too old for peer pressure.
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u/Intrepid_Advice4411 Millennial 8h ago
Just say or hit NO and move on with your life? Don't let that guilt get to you. There's no reason for it.
Aside from sit down restaurants and my local ice cream parlor (I know half the teens that work there) I don't leave a tip. I don't even give one at the car wash anymore. They charge $10 to wash my car and just do an ok job. I'm not tipping.
Most places pay $15 an hour minimum in my area. Why am I being asked to tip at the local burger joint that I have to stand around and get my own food at the counter? No.
Oh, I ran into a screen that didn't have the NO button. I hit other and entered $0.00. The balls on that counter food place!
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u/ShinePDX 8h ago
I used to care, but now so many places ask it has become incredibly easy to press no tip and move on.
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u/KlondikeBelugaWhale 7h ago
We all should take a stand and then a dumb article will be written that Millennials are refusing to tip.
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u/nolabrew 8h ago
Tipping is ridiculous now. I went to a hot spring you had to pay to get in to and the screen asked if I wanted to tip. There was nothing provided. No towel. No drink service. Literally just to take my money they wanted a tip.
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u/ThEAmeriCaNway90 8h ago
If I have to stand at a counter to order my food or drink I'm not tipping, at a bar or restaurant where you sit and are served then ok but otherwise absolutely not, this businesses should pay there employees more, I worked food service for 5 years and the whole system is bullshit in my opinion
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u/procheeseburger 8h ago
I went to Honeygrow the other day and you order from a kiosk and it asks if you want to leave a tip... who was I tipping? Also $40 for 2 people for lunch... I'm tired boss
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u/boss302goat Zillennial 8h ago
Tipping culture isnt real to me cause I say no everytime. Simple as that.
Voila
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u/subliminalFreq 8h ago
yeah it feels like death by a thousand paper cuts. I have no problem being a generous tipper when the service warrants it, but I cannot and will not be used to make up for predatory employers paying too low wages.
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u/x_samsquantch_x 8h ago
I worked at Starbucks through college and while tips were appreciated they were not expected. They paid well and offered insurance and benefits. We didn’t even have the option to add tips on a card. And coffee is maybe twice the price now than when I worked there. I don’t tip for coffee unless someone does a really great job.
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u/CheeseSweats 7h ago
I just don't think twice about not tipping. I tip for personal service, not for people to perform the most basic function of their job.
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u/Feral_Leprechaun 8h ago
Yeah I think once the genie is out of the bottle with this tipping bullshit, it's hard to change it. Like it becomes a selling point for hiring managers that people are going to make on average x amount more per hour because they allow tips.
Let's just admit that most restaurants fucking suck now and are not worth it, particularly ones that are just corporate soulless shit.
The only places that are truly worth it are immigrant run ethnic restaurants or independent coffee shops. Independent coffee shops cost less typically so if you tip there it cost about what the pre-tip amount would be at Starbucks.
I can't really blame employees for trying to hustle some extra money because that's the system.
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u/Warm-Price-9680 3h ago
I was at an amusement park with my family yesterday. Nearly $10 for two bottles of water and a small fountain soda. Then the teenager working there asks if I want to tip. Hell no, dude.
This kid wasn't even halfway good at human interaction. My wife asked him if they had lemonade.
"Uhh, we only have special lemonade."
"Okay, what is special lemonade?"
"Uhh, it's like... Uhh it's $8. And oh yeah it's apple flavored."
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u/WOD_are_you_doing 8h ago
I bought a nice, high end grill. The food I make is better than all, but the finest restaurants.
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u/NurseWhoLovesTV 8h ago
I’ve worked in food service before and no, I don’t stress about it. I always tip at sit down services 20% or more, tip to go orders, or door dash but I don’t feel guilty about every little coffee at a drive thru. The workers aren’t making the policy with the screens and the tipping suggestions. I don’t take it out on them. I tend to add a dollar for such services just because I know how customer service is but the option being presented to me does not bother me either way. Challenging the workers who have nothing to do with the system is just unkind. Just be nice and make your choice and move on.
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u/Banana_rocket_time 8h ago
I love tipping 25-30%. I don’t love that it feels like that’s the norm now when it used to make me feel generous lmao.
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u/FiddleStyxxxx 8h ago
I think you're patronizing the wrong places. Stick to small businesses and places that you feel confident that if you don't tip the workers will not suffer, or feel better about tipping someone because they will get all of that money.
Take the time to know the difference.
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u/plantlady2009 8h ago
I hate it. It hasnt affected me much but yesterday I ordered subway on the app (gross, I know) and I had to make a 'custom' tip of zero.
How fucked up is it that I'm thinking "are they going to spit in my food since I didn't tip them for my two subs?"
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u/Aprils-Fool 8h ago
Nope. “Would you like to leave a tip?” Doesn’t affect my mood. I have no trouble not tipping for a cup of coffee. I don’t feel pressure to do so.
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u/Unable-Candidate9612 8h ago
Let go of your guilt. I don't tip outside of the established cases I grew up with.
some exceptions for me are pot shops if they give me good recommendations and the local comic shop because I like them.
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u/painterlyjeans 8h ago
On the days when baristas pulled shots and hand made drinks from memory sure. They were like a bartender making a cocktail. But now it’s just like opening a can.
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u/Upstairs-Chicken592 8h ago
I’ve usually always tipped for coffee if I have the means? This is super normal? Cafes have always had tip jars lol
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u/probablyadinosaur 7h ago
I tip a dollar on espresso and then the standard for waitstaff and delivery peeps. Nothing at a counter gets tipped unless I like the place and they’re super busy.
It’s not hard, stop giving your money away to a screen.
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u/Murky_Butterscotch_7 7h ago
From the UK; I haven’t tipped anyone in my entire life. It’s just not a thing here
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u/boozewald 7h ago
I tip when they charge me a dollar at my coffee shop. Which granted I go there every day and I just order drip. It's next door to my place of work. So they hook me up and I hook them up.
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u/tooshortpants 1987 8h ago edited 8h ago
Damn, I'm in coffeeshops all the time and they don't literally verbally ask people to tip, ever. I tip when I feel like it and move on with my day. I have literally never had a barista give a shit about this
Same for any other place where I'm buying something. I tip the same 20% at sit down restaurants as I always have. But yeah, elsewhere? I just hit 0. It's fine.
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u/discr33t86 8h ago
I just don't tip...it's not that difficult. I also don't really care if some random person behind a counter thinks I'm an asshole for not tipping
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u/Uhhyt231 8h ago
I genuinely don’t get why people are bothered by it
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u/YouWiseGuise 8h ago
Ultimately, I think patrons are opposed to having employees’ wage security passed on to them. Corporations should pay a living wage; it’s not patrons that should be responsible for making sure employees are compensated to the tune of 25% (in some grossly inflated areas). I was a corporate trainer for TGI Fridays for a number of years. The wage gap for servers especially is criminal. But I agree, it is not a responsibility that should fall to the patrons. The only way to change this is through lobbying for fair legislature as it pertains to business ethics in practice.
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u/Immediate_Song4279 7h ago
Personally I think it was just the POS systems that started defaulting to it and people made a big deal so now some ask for tips because it's trending enough to be controversial.
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u/Impossible_Rip418 5h ago
Yeah idk why this is controversial at all.
Tablets became cheap -> POS’s released -> they had a tip option -> you now get asked more as a result
It wasn’t some cultural change that led to this. It was new technology. That’s it.
Just say no and go on with ur life.
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u/Uhhyt231 7h ago
It’s people who have spent their lives walking past tip jars acting like it’s a crime to press no on the iPad
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u/PeepusTheWise 8h ago
I can't really justify the cost of going out for coffee anymore. I'm not poor, but I just can't stomach the price and the pressure to tip. It isn't worth it, unless it's once in a while.
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u/Life_Grade1900 8h ago
I mean, more than fact that buying a coffee costs between 5 and 10 dollars and i can make a pot at home for like 50 cents. Buying coffee out as anything other than a treat is asinine
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u/marheena 7h ago
I just have set rules for myself.
- never tip proprietor
- never tip at a place that didn't ask 10 years ago (subway, McDonald's etc)
- never tip more than $1 per drink made (booze and coffee).
- never tip for drip coffee. Only for fancy coffee drinks
- if it's too hard to find the custom button so I can choose $1, I just hit cancel.
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u/Buxom_StrwbryBlnde 7h ago
Doesn’t bother me.. but you know what does? Using AI to write up bullshit to complain about when you can just select a button to not fucking tip!
https://giphy.com/gifs/15c4N74hxO99kVZVAP
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u/Twisted_paperclips Xennial 8h ago
Thankfully, this isnt as much of an issue in the UK. When I do tip, its for exceptional service and is 10% (or rounded to the nearest £5, whichever is more).
What is becoming an issue is supermarkets and fast food outlets asking you to round up for charity, then giving options of to the nearest £/£5/£10 but not showing the obvious decline option. You end up staring for so long the cashier declines on their end and you can finally pay. I get that charities are strapped currently, but it does feel like the onus is on the consumer to either donate or look bad to others.
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u/Suicide2121 8h ago
I am so sick of this tipping culture, I carry cash for such occasions. I will not go to Dutch Bros unless I have cash.
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u/parallax1 8h ago
The Starbucks app until recently didn’t ask for a tip, but now it does. The enshittification of everything continues.
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u/Zealousideal_Bill_86 8h ago
I think tipping culture is out of hand for sure, but I usually do tip for coffee (or if really good service is being provided). The kids taking orders at the coffee places (near me anyway) are usually hustling pretty hard and keeping things moving. Stuff is more expensive than ever, so if I do have the extra cash for coffee myself, I don’t mind giving an extra dollar or two to someone working hard taking orders at a coffee shop.
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u/registeredwhiteguy 8h ago
I just make coffee at home. It works out to 30 cents a cup. But I’m the guy who never gets food delivered, rarely buy stuff online and brings his lunch to work.
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u/Alive-Ice-7383 8h ago
For a local coffee shop I really like I tip every time. For a mega Corp, I almost never tip. They have the money to pay their employees better, and choose not to. I still tip for great service regardless but I almost never tip if you are just taking my payment then handing me something.
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u/RemarkableBeach1603 7h ago
No.
I have zero issues not tipping in situations where I wasn't aided in some way that makes things easier for me.
If they are going to let me sit while they bring and refill my coffee: Tip. If I have to stand in line and come get the coffee myself: No tip. Easy.
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u/CoasterErik 7h ago
I have zero qualms about not tipping in inappropriate situations. Especially in California where I lived when I last lived in the US, where there is no tipped minimum wage.
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