35f, This guy 35m, we met on bumble three years ago.. he was working remotely, an hour away. I was nice to him. We had a superficial conversation about movies and stuff. I had a therapist insist I apologize for karmic reasons. I thought it was stupid I did it a year ago September 2025. He moved here, specifically in the town next to me where my parents live, he’s like 30+ minutes from them. 40+ from me- Weirdly in between ..
At the start of September he reached out at the start of September, last month I didn’t realize the symbolic coincidence of his choices. I was having a good time shrooming while camping when he reached out. When I met him he deflected a bunch and when he finally had his lucid vulnerability he admits that he's been thinking and dreaming of me that he thought the apology was a sign, and in the sit of nearly passing out he said you must think I’m a desperate loser for showing up. I was definitely annoyed but I was nice bc I do like him. He asked that we take things slow, there’s no rush.
whatever we go on one date and get coffee. He planned the date, and dropped a life resume. I ask that we slow down and remind him of his comment of taking things slow. I parked closer to the coffee shop and drove him to his car. I gave him a welcome bag from stuff around my place, books for work, health foods.. and a list of places for his hobby. (its not a big deal I already knew these places existed, we have a lot more in common than I realized) he was super grateful and the conversation was getting better between us.
finally. I can’t meet him on Sunday because I had to work that night. I offered to give him brownies bc I made them for this volunteer event. He declines and says we’re cool. We could do something later. I asked him if he wanted to meet up with the e yoga studio he found. I’ll be going out of town the upcoming week. No answer for four days.. I said something like if your not interested to meet on the days I suggested just say so. I don’t want to repeat the cycle from where you reject with silence—still silence. I called in a good mood, just to check in … he apologized for his silence and I said yea, I forgot you just do that I shouldn’t have sent that last message, I’m sorry. I’m in a good mood and I just wanted to see how you’re doing. He responded, yeah, I’m not looking for a romantic relationship, I only answered bc I was waiting for my friend to call me. Can I call you later. My voice cracks. I said don’t bother calling … and ended the call.
Two weeks pass. I’m in a good mood. I called yesterday to find out my number is blocked. I made an internet number and asked, what’s going ..why did you block me . He responded I didn’t block you and ended the call. I texted Hey it’s
This is my first time contacting you since our call two weeks ago… I don’t understand why you’d block me… or why you made your comment. We were taking things slow, there was nothing romantic from my side I was just being myself and polite…
Correct me if I’m wrong, I feel like I upset you because I didn’t rearrange my sleep schedule to meet you Sunday.
I don’t understand why you’re acting so defensive towards me
My therapist thinks that you pushed me away with your mean lie bc you have intense feelings towards me … you don’t feel safe to articulate for a fear of rejection.
Idk why you’re acting this way. you’ve already did the grandest action of showing up.
I don’t get angry I just feel waves of sadness.. . I wish you’d just talk to me..
I also had many friends play these toxic games which is why I’m not fighting, chasing or whatever.. I prefer honesty it’s faster and easier
I just want to understand what changed .. Idk how to judge you
(I waited ten minutes)
You win. I’m done. There’s no need to block my number.. I changed my main number after you made your comment two weeks ago bc I was hurt and confused.
I’ll be deleting this number also. Good luck, I hope you stop fukking with people lives
****
(Believe me I did plenty to forget him and when I moved on he’s here… ) I feel dumb for responding to his message.
I expected him to spaz out maybe three months in but he did it in three weeks. WTF? Am I crazy?
my question:: why go through all this effort just to play these weird toxic games? Was I too nice to this guy?
tl;dr guy moves to my town after two years of not talking. He read my apology that my hippie therapist insisted that I pushed him away. (Idk how being nice pushes some away) he returns a year later. I stupidly, still like this weirdo. We have a lot more in common than I remember. He plays hot-cold games and pushes me away by saying he’s not interested in a romantic relationship. blocks my number. I expected him to spaz out three months but he did it in three weeks. WTF? am I crazy?
idk where to post my situation seems dumb..