r/DnDcirclejerk • u/Icy_Technician_3984 • Apr 10 '26
The Legend of Fat Duergar
Very long post here and I think that this could be a good source of inspiration for any DM who runs funny homebrews.
So, I think a little background is needed first. If you've seen my other posts, you'll likely get the sense that my players are a unified menace at the table. After my mob standoff, I had a boss fight set up that was much anticipated by both me and the players. Every demo run I've done to playtest him ended in a close win by the players, so I was excited to see them face a genuine challenge before leaving the hexcrawl for good. This monster was my baby and had been hyped up for almost an entire year.
Prior to this, It's been a dream of mine to run ToH, so I found a way to integrate it into my campaign and using the monster as a motivation to do it. They entered the tomb through a nexus portal that scrambled their character sheets up (everyone had to swap) and I ran it 98% RAW besides that (with some very minor changes). They hated ToH and frankly, I hated ToH. No one died. They actually opened the genie vase in that room with the four statues and I granted them only one wish instead of three because that's busted. They wished themselves back home with all the treasure in the dungeon and the quest item they were looking for. Naturally, I honored that and then gave them the treasure awarded at the end of the module. With the 5th level spell scrolls, I simply said to pick whatever spell they wanted within that parameter, but just know that it was a one-shot disposable spell.
Back to the boss fight, they pull out a disintegration spell to use on the boss. I completely forgot they had that. I then had roll a 12 or higher on my save against the spell. I rolled a 1. Since that moment, I have been plotting a dastardly vengeance plan in secret. In ToH, you know that stupid exploding evil wish gem? If abiding by RAW, it won't activate if no one wishes for anything with it in their possession. The players were insistent on taking it with them and likely have plans to persuade a major boss into wishing something with it. They are definitely protective of the gem and themselves, making sure that the person who made the wish with the genie was not the one holding the gem.
They are currently in Omu looking for the nine puzzle cubes and just fought the Froghemoth within an inch of their lives. The session ended when it died, so they'll probably spend the first part of our next session taking either a long or short rest before going into Kubazan's Shrine. Maybe, they'll even go to sleep somewhere nearby. My plan is to have a gaggle of vegepygmies steal the gem while they sleep and make some stupid wish in a language none of them can understand yet. Naturally, the vegepygmies are stupid, so when it begins blinking as a countdown for the explosion, they'll likely just stare at it before it blows them all to high heaven. The players will be "suddenly awoken" the moment they make the wish so there's no point in taking it from them but plenty of time to run for cover.
That wish curses the entire party in a fashion similar to that of a Nilbog. They all suffer the curse, but it doesn't focus on just one individual. The curse itself triggers anytime they roll a 1 followed by a percentile die roll of 51 or higher. The person who failed the roll then suddenly is replaced by a 567 year old, 3'11", 481lb duergar aptly named "Fat Duergar." That player is possessed for one in-game day and must use his character sheet until he dies, the day ends, or he falls asleep. Once that ends, the character they were previously playing is unharmed and even recieves any XP that Fat Duergar would've gained if he wasn't already maxed out. He is a level 20 Illusion Wizard with almost entirely negative ability modifiers with the exception of his Constitution score of +5. Here's the meat and potatoes of his... issues. I want to make it known that we don't use material components or ritual mechanics.
Str: -2, Dex: -4, Con: +5, Int: -4, Wis: -4, Cha: -4. Chaotic Neutral, Illusion Wizard, Hermit, Level 20.
He took 3 feats at levels 4, 8, 12 for his ABIs to work his way up to gaining proficiency in heavy armor, then dumped the rest of them into Constitution. I also gave him a racial feat at level 7 from Xanathar's Guide to Everything.
He has a Breastplate of Invulnerability (its in the DMG) as his armor that has been grafted onto his flesh, and has the distinction of being made for spellcasters. It doesn't prevent spellcasting.
He has a cursed weapon known as the Lance of Dance with the benefit of having no disadvantage when being used one-handed without a mount but that has an extensive rule list pertaining to anyone with in a 15ft radius of him the moment he makes an attack with it. If they are LG, NG, CG, LN, or CN, they have to choose between taking 2d6 psychic damage or form a congo line behind him on a successful save. If they fail the save, they suffer both effects. It lasts for two minutes and is essentially the paralysis condition.
His other cursed weapon is the Sickle of Despair. Due to his -4 Dexterity and the fact that it's a 1d4 damage dice roll -4, the ability this sickle has is that any negative damage simply heals the target.
Part of his lore involves him finding a Ring of Three Wishes. His first wish is to never starve to death, the second wish was to never lose the ring, and his third wish was to never die of old age. The final wish turned the Ring of Three Wishes into a Ring of Regeneration that heals 1d6 HP every 2 minutes instead of 10 minutes. The second wish means that the ring can never be taken off and his hand can never be separated from his body. Ever.
He has an AC of 12, 25ft Speed, and 181HP. Due to being a Duergar, he has disadvantage on any ability checks or attack rolls in the daytime, but his Duergar traits add to his litany of the saving throw advantages/resistances against damage and condition types that he has.
These long term madness effects are enforced.
Long-term madness 1: Fat Duergar involuntarily attempts to eat any food he can when suffering exhaustion at any costs. This means manipulation, theft, or violence.
Long-term madness 2: Fat Duergar will not take any Gold, Silver, Electrum or Platinum coins. He has a deep obsession with copper coins.
Long-term madness 3: Fat Duergar must fight the temptation to drink from his cursed alchemy jug by rolling a DC 12 Intelligence saving throw at the end of each of his turns.
His "Blubber Boy" feature is as follows. Every 2 turns, you must eat 1lb of food while breathing heavily and immediately end your turn or roll a DC 23 Constitution saving throw. Upon failure, you suffer one level of exhaustion. The 6th level does not kill you, but rather puts you to sleep for 1d20 days. Regardless of the duration, upon waking up, your exhaustion level is reset to zero.
Most of his spells are the worst possible spells available to a wizard with a particular preference for spells that can be used to manipulate others, steal things from a far, or immobilizing a creature that may have something to eat.
The Cursed Alchemy Jug: This alchemy jug only a pours a disgusting green sludge known as "Dirty Dew." See Additional Features - Section 3 for information on Dirty Dew.
Additional Features - Section 3: Dirty Dew is spring water contaminated by mountain bacteria that only exists at Mount Bubbleguts, the place from which Mr. Fat Duergar hails from. This bizarre fluid causes those who ingest it to roll a DC 14 Constitution saving throw at the end of every turn. When failed, they vomit acid in a 15ft cone in front of them and fart out a green poison cloud in a 15ft cone behind them. Anyone in either cone must make a DC 17 Constitution saving throw, taking 2d6 acid damage from the vomit cone or 2d6 poison damage from the fart cone on a failed save and half as much on a successful one regardless of which cone. Failing the fart cloud saving throw also means suffering the poison condition for 2 minutes.
The solution to getting rid of Fat Duergar is either killing him, consulting with the vegepygmy chief to discover why they made that wish, or simply wishing him away. Remove curse will not work because it is not a curse. He has to drop below 0 and fail his death saving throws for him to considered dead but as mentioned before, the previous character he replaced is returned completely unscathed.
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u/Ebony_ElfQueen Apr 10 '26
Didn't read any of this. But as a proud Elf, this is what all you lesser races look like. Also even PF2e can't fix that face
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u/medusagaze Apr 10 '26
I don't like him.
Tell him.
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u/Icy_Technician_3984 Apr 10 '26
Do not make Fat Duergar cry it makes it harder for him to put down the jug
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u/medusagaze Apr 10 '26
Good. I hope Fat Duergar dies.
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u/MothOnATrain Aug 18 '26
I hope you're happy with yourself
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u/medusagaze Aug 18 '26
Oh did he finally die? Thank God.
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u/MothOnATrain Aug 18 '26
You're a monster
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u/Marco_Polaris Apr 10 '26
I didn't read any of that because I can't read, but I would trust this dwarf with my life.