I gave up a “day off” work to drive 4 hours (total) on Thursday to another town to get the Halloween decorations you wanted.

I spent the same time Friday driving and shopping at 4 different stores to buy the stuff and groceries we needed for the holiday weekend.

I cooked and cleaned every dish to host your brother’s family on Saturday.

I cooked a full turkey dinner today with all the sides and desserts for our family.

You promised to make a special dessert with our oldest son and then flaked on him, so I had to pick it up and see it through so he wouldn’t be disappointed.

You then started a fight about an insanely stupid subject you were objectively wrong about and called me an asshole because I refused to budge from my objective, fact based response.

You didn’t lift a finger all this long weekend. I did everything including the laundry. You fail me as a wife. You fail our children as a mother.

None of this is new. One day, the children will grow and see how hard I work. They will soon see how you rot in your chair or your bed, endlessly scrolling and shopping.

I’m done. I will divorce you as soon as I can.

Dinner: Tacos from my favorite taco spot.

A little backstory: my dad passed in 2020 due to an unexpected heart attack, and my mother-in-law lost her battle with cancer in 2023.

Last weekend my wife and I made plans to go out to dinner with my father-in-law. When we get to the restaurant, he already has a table and to my surprise, my mom is sitting at the table with him.

Naturally, I’m a little confused but my wife has a cheeky little grin on her face. The one that tells me she’s already done the math here.

Come to find out mom and dad-in-law have been seeing each other for about a year now and have decided to come out as a couple.

I think it’s kinda awkward but whatever. They’re adults and deserve to be happy.

However, it’s been a week now and my wife won’t stop calling me “step-bro.”

Send help.

(EDIT: No, my wife didn’t know before dinner that night. She was just a lot quicker in figuring it out than my emotionally blind self)

For the past few months I’ve been organizing a guys night. We hop between activities, food, bars.

This month we’re at a brewery. The ethos of the whole thing is that there is no pressure - come or don’t it’s okay. Whoever is there shares what’s going on in their life - the ups and downs - and then we have a good time.

Of the 8 or so guys, many of us have kids and most are married, so I never expect a full house (I’m married and have 2 kids). The guys, for the most part, are people I’ve know for a long time - some since I was born (I’m 37) and some for four years.

I get that lives are busy and even though there is a calendar invite for every guys night, I know things come up. Kids get sick, work gets tough, people travel - whatever.

But tonight sucked. The date was in the calendar a month ago. I sent a planning text a week ago, three days ago, and then yesterday. I even saw some of these folks in real life in the last few days.

Not a single guy responded to any of the texts, not even to say they can’t come.

As much as I’ve still enjoyed the evening a bit drinking a good beer and reading a good book, it just feels …idk bad. I have a tough time not giving people grace and assuming it was a mistake, but man, this feels like the bar is in hell. These are cousins, brother-in-laws, people whose weddings I’ve officiated. And I’m sure they all have good reasons. But just say you can’t make it. It’s not fucking hard and if you’re ever with any of them you know they’re on their phone all the time.

Anyways, if you made it down here, thanks. I already have an idea for next month. I’ve been an organizer for over a decade now and know this is just a bump in the road to the community I want to have.

ETA: maybe this is a generational thing, but expecting someone to reply to a text saying “yes or no” is like a normal thing and not “pressure”.

When I say the ethos is no pressure, I mean that coming or not doesn’t matter - I’m not gonna get on anyone’s case for not showing up because we all have a lot going on in our lives. But it’s an absolutely normal expectation for people to say yes or no to an event?

If that feels like “pressure” for some of y’all, idk what to tell you.

Tonight’s dinner, while I stress about things.

My friend and his girl have been together for two years. The three of us hang out a lot, and me and the girlfriend are decently close. Lately though, they have been fighting. They both confide in me during the fights and it’s gotten pretty extreme. She says she’s at the age where she needs a ring and kids soon. Her bf isn’t all that committed. The fights came to a head in a bar the other night, he stormed out and she was too drunk to drive. I ended up taking her back home. While in the car she started to say something, and then whispered “ No… no, no, we can’t.” I asked her to elaborate and she said she point blank dreams of having a child with me and starting a life together. This came out of left field, I have never really allowed myself to have romantic thoughts about her. I told her to think rationally, and that this kind of thing never works out correctly. I told her my friend would be beside himself if he knew. She said my personality fits her better, and that she feels safe with me, and always has. She also said she knows she’s not my type but could make me happy, and would be a great mother. I shot her down gently and tried to explain how messy this kind of thing is as best I could. From what I’ve seen in life, you can’t just go date your friend’s ex and magically be happy together. She requested at the very least, that we should make a pact and get married before 40 if we are both still single. I advised her to voice all of this in her current relationship and see if it’s salvageable if she loves him at all. Worth noting, this woman is far more attractive, wealthy, popular and successful compared to me, and a few years older. I never thought this scenario could happen with her.

I have mixed feelings about it all. According to her, my friend has emotionally abusive tendencies. (Gaslighting, silent treatment, threats, etc.) He denies this, but struggles with severe alcohol usage to the point where I wouldn’t put it past him. I’m too young and stupid to cut both of them off, but not delusional enough to get involved with a friends woman. It all made me feel strange and I don’t know what my next move with them is, so I came here to post about it. Are all late 20’s friendships messy or do I hang around the wrong people?

If you have not read my post from a few weeks ago I suggest you read it before reading this , here’s the link.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BoyDinnerDiaries/s/wMHoaG4bbj

Thank you to everyone who gave me advice on my last post because it was extremely helpful.

So as a lot of you suggested I tried to get to know him better. So I started talking to him regularly in school and trying to message him most days as well. Although I didn’t want to message him too often as I didn’t want to come off too strong.

We quickly became quite good friends but I still couldn’t shake my feelings about him. Eventually it got to the point where he was all I could think about and it was affecting my school work.

At this point I trusted him so I decided to message him everything, about my sexuality, about how I felt for him, and about why I felt the need to tell him now. I also tried to give him as much space as possible so he could feel comfortable because he’s obviously not been a situation like this before.

But honestly his response was so lovely, i can’t remember the exact wording but it was something like “thank you for being honest with me, it takes guts to tell that to somebody, but I am straight, I hope we can remain friends and I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to”.

So now I guess I’ll try to get over him , which is going to be hard since he is such an amazing guy. But I hope we can maintain our friendship as he is a really great friend.

So if anyone on here is in a similar situation my advice would be to go for it. If they like you back you’ll be happy. If they don’t but are supportive of you you’ll hopefully become great friends (like in my situation). Or if they act really negatively about it you should be grateful as you’ve got a bad person out of your life.

Thanks again for everyone’s advice and I hope this can help as many people in a similar situation as possible.

The moment you "accept" divorce, you stop apologizing for your partner's behavior.

Homemade BLT and hand cut fries.

From the moment you commit to dating someone until the moment you mentally internalize that they're no longer "your person", you have a vested interest in making the relationship work. This means that you actually minimize some of their bad behaviors in order to have compromise.

What I personally wasn't anticipating was the feeling of looking back over my 13 year relationship objectively and without those "rose-colored glasses". I'm now realizing that my ex hadn't given me unconditional love for nearly a decade, if ever. I'm realizing that my ex was entirely delusional, a liar and gaslighter. I'm not going to press it or anything, but there's probably an entire argument to be made that they were emotionally abusive.

It's such a strange feeling. Kind of sad that I wasn't properly defending myself, but moreso relieved that I'm finally going to be free.

Long read, I need to vent

I’m not sure where to start. Wife and I have been together 9 years from early 20s to now late 20s. Our relationship has been filled with love and was great overall. Recently (in the last 2 years or so) I was distant because I wasn’t in a great place mentally. I couldn’t give her what she needed consistently because I could barely take care of myself at times. Throughout it all she was the rock I could count on to be there.

Those feelings have subsided, and I am the happiest I’ve ever been in many aspects of my life. But about 4 months ago she came to me and said she was thinking of leaving the relationship because of resentment she’d built up over the course of that same period. Of course I was devastated and immediately began the process of trying to resolve the issues to save the relationship. Throughout the course of the last few months, I could tell that she was not putting in any effort towards trying to fix it, no matter what she was saying.

We’ve always had access to each other’s phone passwords and locations for safety reasons. Never once used either of those in a negative way, until a couple of weeks ago when she checked my phone while I was asleep because she was concerned about an old coworker of mine. Naturally she didn’t find anything, but I was taken back by the fact that she felt the need to check. The little voices in my head started to get louder at this point.

We recently moved cross country in April for work, and both of us have been excited for this move for years. The relationship issues were brought to my attention not too long after we’d been settled. She would go back home every 4-6 weeks because she was homesick and missed family and friends. While she’s gone I would check her location to make sure when she’s out with them she made it home safely, etc etc. I noticed she was often in parking lots which I took as strange, but she always explained she was talking with friends after having dinner or something. Last night, I woke up and she was still out in a parking lot somewhere at 5:30 am. I texted and asked if she was okay and didn’t get a response until 3 hours later saying she’d made it home (which I knew already). At this point, the voices became overwhelmingly loud in my head so I opened her laptop to check her messages. I noticed a female name she’d never mentioned before asking if she’d made it home safely. I didn’t think too much of it until her response was asking if they could see each other again this evening. The other person responded that “yes, I want to. I love you.”

At this point I went into that person’s contact information and saw the suggested name was a male name, not a female name. Everything fell apart from there.

I called, she admitted to cheating several times per trip home because she got her emotional needs met by him while we were struggling. Often times in the back seat of his car in a parking lot. I asked if she loved him back and she admitted she had feelings for him. She doesn’t know what she wants and is moving back home. He has a fiancé as well so both of them were cheating on their supposed life partners.

I never thought I’d be considering reconciling with someone cheating on me but I can’t just move on with the snap of a finger. I want to be done and she seems to want to be done as well, but I don’t know how to just ignore the last 9 years of my life.

Cold chicken and Celsius because that’s all the energy I have right now.

Edit for clarification: I told her to leave and go back home, that’s not her making the decision.

I (31M) was having a pretty normal conversation with my girlfriend (32F) and the conversation steered towards the philosophical. She mentioned that we haven't argued at all in the two years we've been together and that any time we are having issues we just stop and talk it through. We communicate really well and I've always sought from my side to resolve any conflict with a mature and reasonable conversation - something her last relationship never did. I think something along the lines of "that's the difference between boys and men" came up and it made me pause and think. I asked her to expand on what she meant and it evolved into a conversation about how masculinity today is described as being dominant, "alpha" or "sigma" or whatever the current term is. How that somehow being a masculine man is about oppression and strength over your fellow man.

I will be honest; it absolutely broke my heart. Not at her, but at my brethren and the men I interact with every day. I think she's right because I've seen it, experienced it everywhere I go, and to a degree - was raised by a father with that mentality. The conversation evolved and changed subject, but the thought is still lingering some weeks later.

I may get a little soapbox-y or "in my head" here for a minute.

I think as I've grown up, my definition of what is "Masucline" has changed, and my current definition is something I hold other men to. Being masculine is NOT about being dominant, being oppressive, or being the iron fist. I've seen conversations about how peak masculinity is vanity, lust, and wrath. But it really isn't, those are traits of evil men and men who hurt others to gain power. True masculinity is about stability and protection. Like a castle, like the wave-break on the beach, like the structural foundation of the house. It's about being the one others can rely on to always be there when things are good, bad, and ugly. Masculine traits to me are about being part of "The Team" or something greater than myself and making it more efficient/stronger/better for being there. It's laughing from your heart when the times are good, it's being an emotional anchor when times are tough and the waters are choppy, it's about being warm, kind, and supportive - Like a gardener planting and tending their garden. The garden will not grow if the pests aren't driven away, or the seeds aren't watered, or the soil wasn't tilled. The flowers won't bloom and the fruits won't produce if the gardener doesn't visit every day and tend to each plant individually. Metaphors aside, my definition of masculinity is synonymous with stability.

It's not just about making meaningful relationships with women, either. It's about making everyone around you better. Support your coworkers, your siblings, your parents, the random barista, the pimply teenager checking out your groceries, your best friend, your boss. Be good to them, make their life better if not for just 5 seconds you interact with them. Lift the people close to you up and everyone will be better for it. Check in on your friends, tell those you care about that you care, make an effort (no matter how big or small) to be a friend to your friends.

I've seen a lot of posts on here from men of all ages expressing thoughts and asking for advice on situations either they've got themselves in or that life has laid upon them. My advice is to build your foundation and build it well. Do not be afraid of change because change is why stability exists. If change is the gravel road, be the shock absorbers. You are allowed to change your mind if that helps you find peace. You are allowed to change your habits if that makes you happier. You are allowed to change your path in life if that leads to self-satisfaction.

Anyways, rant over. I wanted to get that off my chest.

Lunch was 3 scrambled eggs, one baked potato, and 4oz diced Cajun chicken with Taco Bell Fire sauce.

Edit: I didn't expect this to get popular so I've removed some potential spoilers if my girlfriend somehow sees this post (She would recognize the plate lol).

Dinner is fish, chips, and a russian…not sure what you call this type of sausage in your country.

I started this job in 2023. It was a dream come true after getting rejected multiple times before by this company. I started with another colleague in my 1st week. He was hired to be an intern that I had to train so he reported to me. Yes we started in the same month but that was the plan my boss told me during orientation. I trained him to know as much as me, but honestly, dude is lazy AF. We all attended the annual year end in 2023 and I left the party at 5pm because I wasn’t about to risk drunk driving (been arrested for DUI before), so I left when the drinks started to flow. Fast forward to 2024. My boss starts dismissing my ideas and always points to the intern as the go to.. same lazy $@“#. I ignored that until it became obvious I was being excluded from information but blamed for everything wrong. I then requested a meeting with my boss last year to understand if I somehow offended him and what I could do to improve team performance. Bad idea because the rest of 2025 was a nightmare due to my boss throwing me under the bus more often. I then decided to distance myself from the team and change where I sit and be on the same floor as the business I service. HR in my company sits in a central place so everyone in the group can find us there - I work for a large African multi national that was recently bought out by Canadians. Ok, back to the issue. My manager and the former intern decided to hire an another intern for me t train, this time a girl. I’ve been training her but my boss is being weird again when I show her shortcuts and how to do things properly. Something very awkward happened during a team video call. My manager said something to the former intern (let’s call him bob), then bob responded with a long story. My boss laughed and said “don’t lie, I’m in your head”. Bob responded by saying “it’s not like that but I get why you know what’s in my head because we share something “. At this point the intern and I are lost on what’s going on but it clicked because I’ve seen them look into each other’s eyes very lovingly, or maybe my imagination. I don’t care if my boss is homosexual but I don appreciate his boy toy being praised for my work which happens regularly and me being the scapegoat for that boy. Then he gets preferential treatment on top of being lazy. Anyway, I’ve been looking for a new job these past 12 months because I have a bad feeling about this whole setup, even if I pretend not to see anything.

Dinner is smoked sausage with quartered jalapeno, both roasted in the air fryer and a beer.

The last few months have probably been the most stressful I've experienced thus far.

I made some poor financial decisions and my house went into foreclosure. I have a 7 year old son and had no idea what I was going to do. Every time I would try to follow through with what I thought was a solution, it would fall through and my deadline drew closer and closer. I almost signed a contract with a man who offered to pay off the past due amount, and in turn I would sign the deed over to him until I paid my debt off to him.

Thankfully, my gut told me that was a bad decision, as I later found out that his business practice is extremely predatorial.

The auction was a week away. I called the mortgage company everyday and resorted to begging, pleading with them for more time.

Finally, one of the representatives told me in a subtle way to contact a lawyer, even if I couldn't afford one and they would have a solution.

And so I did.

And the solution was bankruptcy.

I filled chapter 13, it stopped the auction, and my home is safe for my son and I.

It's not a perfect solution. And comes with many issues itself, but it will work, I can afford everything, although it will be tight. But I can do it confidently.

So why don't I feel better? I still feel like such a nervous wreck. My anxiety is still almost constant. I'm still looking out the window when I hear a car driving by, expecting it to be someone telling me to vacate the property. Checking the mailbox still fills me with dread.

I just want to be able to take a deep breath relax for one fucking night.

Everything is okay now. I'm going to be okay.

So why can't I let myself believe it?

And he’s only 17, a senior in high school. We try not to make too much of a big deal about it, mostly to to to keep him level headed, but he was identified as gifted early on. He could read at age 4. He was doing seventh grade math in fourth grade. He’s currently first in his class, out of 300+ students. I think he has like a photographic memory or something.

I’ve been a video gamer all my life, got him started on PlayStation and Wii at like age five; he beat Final Fantasy X in second grade. He currently has six platinum trophies on PS, I have zero.

I got him into basketball when he was young, he started smoking me 1v1 by age fifteen. By fifth grade, he was doing math so advanced that neither my wife or I could help him anymore, not that he even needed our help. He’s a swimmer (captain of the varsity team of course) and has a perfect body; he also has great hair. Mine is gray and thinning.

I’m not really jealous, quite the opposite actually, I’m super proud of course; I’m of the mind that I want my kids to do better than me in life, I just didn’t think that would happen before he became an adult!lol It’s just most times I feel so inferior; i have kind of a dead end job and my wife is the main breadwinner of the family. I know my son thinks he’s better than me. I’ve come to believe that as well. I feel like I’m the stereotypical dumb bumbling dorky suburban dad. Oh did I mention he’s also an inch taller than me now.

This is more of a vent so thanks go it reading; I’ve never really told anyone how I feel about this. I don’t want to come across as insecure to my wife, who probably already sees me as insecure and probably also agrees that our son is already better than me at everything,

tldr: dorky suburban dad has a genius teenage son who is smarter and better than him at everything.

EDIT: Guys, thank you for all the kind and supportive comments! I am truly humbled by all these kind words and you are all absolutely correct- I will do nothing more than continue to show love and support to my son and all my family. Amazing community of dudes we have here, I appreciate you all so much!

Dinner- Carne Asada tacos.

Wife filed for divorce after an emotional affair. We’re still living together, and I’m struggling to make sense of the last year.

I’m 46, and my wife and I have been together since we were about 25. No children, but we have a house, dogs, and a life we spent roughly twenty years building. She filed for divorce in August, and we’re still living in the same house while things move forward.

She had an emotional affair with a man who lived a few hundred miles away. My understanding is that it lasted around six weeks and involved phone calls and texts. She told him she was in love with him. There was a religious element to it—he reportedly told her God made her for him and that she shouldn’t settle. She has described what happened as a “spiritual awakening” and told me the affair wasn’t a mistake.
I don’t have evidence of a physical affair. What I do know is that this hurt deeply, and the way we’ve interacted since has made it harder to recover.

Over the last year, we’ve had very little affection and no sex. I spent a long stretch sleeping on the couch. During arguments, she has called me an asshole, a narcissist, and a momma’s boy. She has told me I’m bad at my job and wouldn’t have been a good father. When I’ve tried to talk about the affair or how I feel, I’ve often come away feeling that her decision was somehow my responsibility.

I know this is my account, and she would have her own. I’m not claiming I was a perfect husband. But I’ve struggled to understand how to take responsibility for my shortcomings without also accepting responsibility for her choice to involve another man.

For a long time, I wanted reconciliation. I tried talking and asked about counseling, but she said she didn’t want to go. More recently, I’ve started accepting that the marriage is ending. I’m trying to work out, focus on my job, and think about what my own future could look like.

Living together is difficult. Sometimes she’s pleasant and wants to interact, and other times she seems angry or barely responds. I still have the instinct to tell her something funny or share something from my day, but the short replies hurt. I feel lonely even with her in the house, and I have trouble relaxing at home.
She has requested the house and the dogs in the divorce. I disagree with that and have filed my response. I recently told her that separating will probably mean a lower standard of living for both of us, and that I need to protect my interests even if some of my decisions disappoint her. My first attempt at that conversation came across as confrontational, so I went back and clarified what I meant.

The strange part is that I still care about her and sometimes feel bad for her. At the same time, as I stop trying to save the marriage, I’m feeling more anger about things I previously brushed aside. I’m grieving the relationship while also questioning how I was treated.

I’m curious how this looks to people outside it. Have others experienced this combination of betrayal, blame, and occasional friendliness while still living together? How did you stop looking to your spouse for understanding or accountability? And how did you distinguish owning your part in a failed marriage from taking on blame that wasn’t yours?

I’d appreciate honest perspectives, including anything I might be missing. I’m trying to get through this with some self-respect and a clearer understanding of what happened.

Title pretty much sums it up. For context a few years ago my ex and I hooked up one of their friends with one of my siblings. They had known them for years, and so it seemed only natural at the time. They’ve been fantastic together and I’m so proud of the couple they’ve become. They’re going to marry each other soon and I’m literally beaming with pride for them.

Me and my ex however…did not have things go well. Years of slow emotional distancing, gaslighting, and constantly feeling like I was never enough really took its toll on me and my confidence. It was such a stark contrast in character from the person I knew before, who would stay up late and talk about what our future looked like together. Towards the end I could hardly manage to receive anything other than low lying annoyance at the fact that I was seemingly still around, despite repeated suggestions for couples counseling.

I knew it was a lost cause and stayed anyways (we’ve all been there), and came to find out that her late nights out “working” were really spent going out and flirting with other guys.

After we broke up I was left with an absolute pit of feeling desperately useless, like a failure of a partner, and like a fool. It took me a long time to put some pieces back together, and rebuild a life that I love to live. Only now have I recently felt the courage to go out and start dating again, and even that has felt like a big step for me.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago, and I get invited to a surprise dinner with my sibling, and their fiancé, to celebrate their engagement by their soon to be in laws. I had assumed it was just a family ordeal until I received a heads up that my ex, her family, and her new bf would also be there.

It felt like a massive punch in the gut. I had done my damndest to avoid this person, going out of my way to try and just let the past be the past and move past it all and somehow they find a way to worm back in. Now I’m just left so mixed as to why this was offered in the first place, and feeling like the bad guy for being the odd one out like….i don’t know man it feels humiliating enough as is but to just sit there and take it? Like this person didn’t tear me down and drag my sense of worth through the mud? And now I’m skipping out on milestones because it brings back these feelings of being a loser compared to everyone else?

Shit sucks, and now I feel like I’m bringing down the mood on something that should have been so great.
And now I’m stuck here wondering if it’s going to sting every time, or if I’ll ever be able to finally let this be in my past.

Steak dinner for the one I missed.

Dinner - Beef chimichanga with beans and rice

First time posting here, so sorry if I mess up the formatting.

I (19M) am a sophomore year college student, and I have been single all of my life. I am autistic, introverted, and have never asked a woman out before.

I have been friends with this girl (20F) since middle school. We were in the same friend group of nerdy theatre/choir/band kids that occasionally hung out outside of school. She was very much the exception of the group, as she was very extroverted and was basically friends with everyone. We graduated in the class of '25, and went our separate ways. I went off to college, and I hadn't spoken to her since then.

Fast forward to now. I have a very solid group of male friends at my college, but was still feeling lonely because it seemed like all of my friends had partners and I just felt unlovable to be honest. I figured I was probably destined to be alone because I have niche interests and struggle to talk to people about my feelings.

So recently, I saw one of my friends post about it being "national boyfriend day", and, as a single person, I found the concept of that to be a stupid joke. As such, I thought it would be funny and harmless to post something like, "Hey there, ladies, it's national boyfriend day so DM me if you want one". I had no intent of this actually working as I just wanted my friends to get a laugh out of it, which many of them did. Until she DM'd me.

After not talking for years, she DM'd me my own post and confessed her feelings for me. I immediately deleted the post and freaked out not knowing what to do. After calming down a little, I messaged her back and asked if she wanted to do something, and she asked me out to dinner.

So, here is dinner: we went out to this Mexican restaurant and had a great time. We caught up about our lives since high school, talked about our values and what matters most to us, some random dude came over and prayed over our relationship, and we enjoyed our dinner. As I said before, I'm a broke college student, so we had to split the check. She didn't seem upset about that, but I still felt bad. I paid for all the food and she paid for the drinks. After that, we went to a store selling Halloween decorations and joked about the stuff they were displaying for about an hour and then I drove her home.

I'm still in disbelief, but I'm also just overall very nervous about it. I was under the impression all of my life that I, the male, was expected to ask a girl out, and so I feel kind of awkward as if I failed in some way because I didn't. I know this fear is unfounded, but I feel it nonetheless. I also worry about how I'm going to keep up in this relationship. I really love her, but I'm a broke college student working two jobs to barely pay rent and tuition. I barely have time for dates and I certainly don't have the money to pay for gifts or things like that, so I'm really scared that she'll dump me because of how broke and busy I am.

Its also very surprising to me that she contacted me after all this time. Maybe 2 years isn't that long for some people, but I genuinely kinda forgot about her in that time, especially with the stress of college and all the new people I was meeting. I'm curious as to how long she's been holding on to those feelings for me I guess. Was this something that she's been thinking about often since high school, or was she, like me, feeling lonely and happened upon my post and decided to go for it. I don't know if I should ask or just let it be.

I know I should probably calm down, as this was only just our first date, but I'm really worried and curious about these things. What should I do?

I have no friends. I’m 26. I haven’t had sex in 6 years. I’m a gay man. Which makes everything worse. I have no degree. I’m going to college as a 26 year old and I’ve made no friends and nobody likes me even though I try to be nice and friendly. Im chopped af. I’m like this weird short skinny loser but I’m not cute like a femboy. And I’m not hot like other men. I’m just like gross and lame and boring and terrible and awful and disgusting and pointless. I’ve always been alone my whole life. I’m such a loser. I don’t know how to navigate this complicated world. Is life supposed to be this hard? I just want friends. But I guess someone like me doesn’t deserve friends. So much therapy and so many medications and so much trying and trying and trying. This world is so beautiful. I’m not made for it. Pot roast with mashed potatoes btw.

As title reads. I cooked this steak poorly. I just secured a new contract to continue my career after a year of mental health struggles, hospitalization & cutting ties with toxic family members and other relationships. My life is finally getting on track and when I called my best estranged former best friend, she thought my good news was a relapse. It ripped my heart to pieces.

Chicken fried steak with hash browns and eggs, went to Vegas to have this meal with a man I consider my brother.

This has been something I’ve carried for years so it’s easy to bring up but still hard to tell. I’m a bit drunk so forgive me if it sounds weird.

I grew up in a physically and emotionally abusive household. I joined the military to get away, after I made a deal saying I’d go to work if I didn’t go to school. I never liked school so I worked for my dad. I had been working with him about since I was 13 so it didn’t matter much to me but at some point I got tired of him and joined the Air Force.

I never made him happy. He had never told me he was proud of me until I graduated basic. I turned 21 at my first base so I picked up drinking. I go back and forth drinking and stopping. Around 2016 my sister gets ovarian cancer. She’s 19 and I support her through it. Around 2018 my dad has a heart attack; and I don’t know how to feel about it because he wasn’t a good dad.

Around that time my parents ask me to use my VA loan to help them get a house. My childhood home was too much for them to afford. I help them buy a new house. It’s in my name but it’s not my home as much as they try to sell it to me.

Flash forward a couple years. In 2020 I meet a girl and marry her, and being in the military I think it’s a good idea to get my will done. It’s free after all. I bring my will up on a phone call with my mom. She asked me who’s gonna get the house. I say my sister and wife can discuss it but probably my sister. At this point in time I had only been in the new house once. I hear my dad call me selfish even though he isn’t on the phone. I get upset and tell them I’ll write the will to give them the house. I had only been there once. It was never a home to me. My mom defended him saying he’s just worried about their future. As if I wasn’t a part of it.

My sister has slowly joined their side saying I’m heartless not supporting them. As if I haven’t done enough.

My wife and I are getting a divorce now. The first thing my mom asks about is the house. My wife and I are separating because of the trauma she has, she says I was a good husband but she has to be alone; and I believe her even though people assume we must have cheated on each other.

I’m still a positive person or I try to be. I had a coworker say that she knows I’m angry and sad. I told her I have a right to be. I still try my best to be a good person, do something good for anyone everyday. Some days it’s hard but I still try. The thought has crossed my mind. But I’m here through the suffering to help others. I can relate to most guys in one way or another so I help them as much as I can.

Life is hard, but I find comfort in the little things like sunsets, sunrises, good friends, and a good drink every now and then. Life gets better. We just need to stick around to see it.

I (45M) have been married to my wife (44) for 23 years. Got married when we were in college and I was about to deploy to Iraq. It’s been a struggle for sure: finances, family, mental health. But damn, I was feeling good today.

And I just wanted to let the other boys know - hang in there. Get help if you need it (even if you don’t think you do), make friends, put yourself out there socially and with hobbies…And leave toxic shit behind.

Solo dinner while wife is at a board meeting: 1-3/4lbs t-bone (we bought a cow earlier this year; such a great decision), sautéed carrots, roasted potatoes, and Tito’s & lemon seltzer water.

I’ve always tried to live life according to my own choices, without being too swayed by what others think I should do. Even when some relatives thought me strange for always having a book with me, I still brought my books because I like reading. I like learning, so I’ve always tried to keep my mind open to new concepts and skills, and do well in school. I like watching my favorite sports teams, so I make time to watch them when I can. I wanted a career where I could have an impact on my community while teaching relevant skills for both life and school, and I thankfully found my niche in education (which, admittedly, isn’t always the most stable, but it has its moments). I graduated with an advanced degree in May. I have a supportive, caring immediate family, and some great friends to share some of my niche interests with. In general, I’ve accomplished more than I thought I would throughout my twenties, and I’m proud of where I am in life. By all accounts, I don’t have much to complain about.

But when I get home and want to tell someone about my day, there’s only the walls. I’m missing having a person with whom I can share all the casual and serious intimacies of life. Though there were times in my early twenties I didn’t seriously consider romance/dating because 1) I wanted to work on myself and 2) I wanted to focus on my education, I seem to be falling into the same cycles and nothing seems to stick. I keep finding myself most interested in girls who either have an avoidant attachment style or who aren’t interested/ready for more serious commitment. I try to be understanding when I find myself involved with avoidants, usually trying to end things amicably when I realize our goals don’t line up (because one’s attachment style isn’t always their fault, it can be complex). Then I write poetry to get it out of my head, and eventually, wind up in a similar situation down the road. Me writing this is basically a long sigh. I want someone I choose to want to choose me, too. 

With this last girl, though, I really thought things could be different. She tried. Up until these last few weeks, even with a rough patch in the summer, we did our best to make things work, and I truly thought we were on the same page. We started as friends, and began doing more things together. Being involved with her, even before (but especially during) our more serious “couple-y” phase was so much fun and pretty much what I’d wanted in a romantic relationship for so long. We had similar interests, were in a similar place in life, and we worked out a good dynamic to keep things fresh for a bit over a year. For my birthday a couple weeks ago, she gave me the sweetest surprise gift, something that showed how much she actually paid attention to my interests.

But last weekend everything fell apart. Even before my birthday, there was a bit of detachment, a bit less care, however I attributed it to stuff going on in her personal life. Even so, she’s made it pretty clear that she’s not interested in a more serious relationship. We’re technically giving each other space for a bit, but our long-term outlooks are not compatible anymore. Reconciliation doesn’t seem possible, and that’s unfortunate because I really liked this girl. After our last conversation, my only thoughts were the final lines of one of the most bittersweet love narratives I could think of, that of Jake and Brett in The Sun Also Rises. Yeah, it would’ve been pretty to think everything would work out.

So it goes, though. I’m still committed to improving myself, advancing in my career, and just trying to enjoy life. I still have hope of meeting my person, I just don’t see a practical way at the moment.

Food: Seafood Alfredo from Olive Garden on my birthday. My family told them it was a birthday dinner (so they’d sing/bring a cake slice), but the waitress forgot. Oh well

Tonight’s dinner: Chicken parmesan baked ziti, made with some pan fried chicken, vodka pasta sauce, cottage cheese, and some low-carb pasta. Been wanting to fry up some chicken for a while now, and it tastes really good in there — and the cottage cheese is actually really sick in here for fresh cheesiness and extra protein, too. I can definitely share the recipe if you guys are interested.

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tl;dr: I tried to get back with my ex because I love her, and she loves me, but she rejected me and said that she “can’t be committed to me” — meaning, she wants to see other people — and that she wished that we could just go back to being friends and having that friend “dynamic”.

This was immediately after we held hands, were physically affectionate, and had a date at an aquarium.

Lowkey feeling like dirt right now.

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My ex girlfriend (27F) and I (29M) have an interesting relationship.

I’ve posted about her in some other subreddits, and our issues, and why we broke up. But to truncate it all, she and I dated for a few months early this year rather all of a sudden. She was a lesbian and I am a straight guy, and we’d had a good repertoire for a number of years together as friends and acquaintances. For reference, I generally have a lot of gay and lesbian friends (for some reason I am popular with The Gays lmaooo), so you can imagine how out of left field it was for me that she and I started dating!

It was honestly a fantastic relationship for 90% of the time. She treated me very well, and I did my best to show her that same exception and love. She even did a themed movie night around my favorite movie where she cooked themed meals and we cuddled on the couch together. I mean like, this was the first grand gesture anyone had or has ever done for me so basically I was already planning out how many kids we were gonna have 😂😂

I took her on as many dates as I could think of, from escape rooms, to movies, cute day outs, breweries, to planning my own shameless ripoff of her gesture to me (except this time it was with Christmas lights, s’mores, and a projector — although we broke up before I could do it).

We also had sex a lot, which I guess is to be expected, but this is rather where the problems began to show themselves. There are some physical aspects to my person and her person that make this act painful for her. To make matters worse, my stamina is rather high alongside the mounting pressure to perform, and my growing unease with hurting her. She also was absolutely terrified of getting pregnant, no matter our precautions. So, sex was a problem for both of us.

Also, she never told anyone we were dating. She has an image as a “gold star lesbian”, and she has a public image that she wants to maintain. It may even affect her professionally, as she is in a current role that can be affected by public perception of who she is in her private life. She’s not an overly notable public figure, but she’s got a following and a brand.

This is something I understood going into it that, if she came out as bisexual, many of her friends would likely disown her. I never pressed her about her friends, and I always tried to support her with it by being as hands-off or as hands-on as I thought she needed, but boy was this a labyrinth; she even physically ran from me once when we saw each other while she was with friends!

The thing I never understood was her never telling her family — that was something I pushed her to come clean with, especially since I’d had her meet my family. I may be privileged in having a great family, but her reasoning was always that she didn’t want to face their smug demeanor about her dating a man. Which is fine, but like, it either happens then, or down the aisle, right? 😂

Anyway, we broke up after some more similar events. Our politics aren’t exactly parallel, even if we agree on a lot of things, she’s rather hardline on some things and I’m simply not. She also was lowkey a proponent of me seeing other women, which I wasn’t entirely comfortable with especially so early in our relationship. I also was probably just not as supportive as I could have been, especially with sex; I have never had any complaints in the past, but this should have been an area I deconstructed as much as I could.

But… she clearly loved me. I loved her. Still do, and honestly, so does she. So, I took her out on a thinly-veiled date recently, and basically propositioned that we get back together after we spent the day having fun together and flirting. But she told me flatly that loving me was terrifying for her, that she feared being a housewife because she was terrified that she wouldn’t be respected (not that I ever planned on either eventuality). She said that she couldn’t be committed to me, and that I deserved someone who was.

I’m just sad. It makes me feel like I’m not enough, that I’m not worth staying with. That I ruined things somehow, by not knowing what to do. That I broke a friendship, that I made her feel awful and broken. I know this isn’t the reality of the situation, and I’m just beating myself up over it because I’m a dingus, but these thoughts absolutely occurred to me.

If doesn’t help that I’ve been cheated on in actually every one of my relationships. Literally. The last one was twice. I feel like I’m losing my mind, like I’m just an appetizer, like I’m just a toy. I’m just tired of feeling used. Not that I feel like that here. Or maybe I do. Or just some variant of it, where I was a dirty little secret that she can pretend never happened.

I need to get over her, and myself, I know. I’m just a bit frustrated at the moment.

You might think I’m kidding but I’m not. I’ve been attracted to about 5 girls in my life and they all turn out to be lesbian. My romantic life is…quite a joke. Ribs and rice for dinner.