I’m so sick of pretending everything is ok. That’s really it. I’m not even going to say I have “justice sensitivity”, I simply have a beating heart and I care. That’s it. I’m tired of being gaslit. I’m tired of being told “maybe you need to adjust your meds”. No no more meds. I want change and I want change NOW. I want these evil people either to behave or get the hell off this is planet. I don’t care if this seems delusional. Fine I’m delusional because I want a better world. I’m delusional because I don’t want genocide and war and all these awful things to happen anymore. I’m delusional because I don’t want people to suffer. I’m delusional because I want to see everyone work in tandem to make a better world. “Good wouldn’t exist without evil” I actually think good can exist and evil cannot exist! It’s all a choice ! I actually truly believe this world can become a peaceful place. So yes I’m delusional and I will forever be delusional and die on this hill that’s filled with my hopes that I scream at the top of daily.

I’ve spent my entire life wondering why I’m so different o everyone. I’ve always felt misunderstood, like no one really hears me when I tell them how difficult this world is for me.

You hear the cliche saying “I find it hard to get out of bed”, but people don’t always understand the neurodivergent reasoning for that. It’s not depression. It’s not because I am sad. It’s because lights are too bright, noise is too loud, expectations are too high, masking feels impossible at 30. Feelings like an outcast is hard. Raising neurodivergent kids too.

I am not saying I want to die. I have too much to live for. But this world isn’t made for people like me.

“What practical solutions do therapists have for someone whose problem is a genetic and neurological incompatibility with how society functions, the very things that pay your bills.

I don’t see that there is a solution that truly favors the person in therapy over society systems”

It’s been weeks and I haven’t found the answer to this

​

Deep down, there is anger, and I get angry. But more and more the fog of 'what's even the point anymore' becomes thicker and thicker. Everything feels like a losing battle.

Everything in my life is a fight.. And I'm sick of fighting, mainly because it gets me no where or at least no where near what I want out of it. And if I don't fight, I still end up in the same place. The outcome is always shit.

I'm referring to everything in life, from my illnesses preventing me from working, to being broke, to having a stress inducing family, having basically no friends, having a housing situation that causes a lot of distress (and I moved here in order to get away from another hell of a housing situation... of course, like just my luck)

I don't even feel sorry for myself anymore. It just is what it is. I'm numb. There's nothing I can do about it. I can't even rest peacefully at home because my home has issues.

Life sucks. I hate it. I want to opt out. If only 'opting out' were a painless, easy, and readily available option.

Conversational Dynamics & Turn-Taking

1. Answering "How are you?" literally: Giving a detailed, honest update about their health or mood to a cashier or acquaintance, which the other person views as "trauma-dumping" or oversharing.
2. The "Filler" Question: Giving a 10-minute play-by-play of their weekend when a coworker asks, "What did you get into this weekend?" as a polite 10-second icebreaker.
3. Interrupting out of excitement: Cutting someone off because they are afraid they will forget their thought, which makes the speaker feel disrespected and unheard.
4. Missing the "Wrap-Up" cues: Not realizing someone is trying to end the conversation (e.g., they are stepping back, pointing their feet toward the door, or saying "Well..."), leading to the other person feeling trapped.
5. The "Echo" Response: Repeating back what someone just said to confirm they heard it, which neurotypicals sometimes interpret as mockery or condescension.
6. Correcting minor factual errors: Pointing out that a friend's story happened in 2018, not 2019, in the middle of an emotional story, which derails the emotional connection and makes the friend feel interrogated.
7. Failing to ask reciprocal questions: Talking about a personal interest for 20 minutes but forgetting to ask, "What about you?", which makes them appear self-absorbed.
8. Taking rhetorical questions literally: Answering a frustrated parent or boss who asks, "How many times do I have to tell you?" with an actual number, which is seen as cheeky or defiant.
9. The "Silence" Void: Feeling the need to fill every pause in a conversation with facts, whereas neurotypicals often use silence to process or bond, making the autistic person seem anxious or overbearing.
10. Missing the "Soft No": When someone says, "I'm really busy this week, but maybe later," the autistic person asks again next week, not realizing it was a polite rejection, making them seem like a stalker or pest.

Emotional Support & Empathy Mismatches

1. Fixing instead of listening: Offering practical, logical solutions to a crying friend who just wanted to vent, making the friend feel invalidated and dismissed.
2. "It could be worse": Trying to comfort someone by pointing out a silver lining or a worse scenario, which the grieving/upset person views as toxic positivity and incredibly insensitive.
3. Nervous laughter: Smiling or laughing when hearing shocking or tragic news due to nervous system overload, which makes others think they are sadistic or glad about the tragedy.
4. The Blank Stare: Processing intense emotional news with a completely flat, blank facial expression, which the speaker interprets as them not caring at all.
5. Matching negativity with logic: When a partner is venting about a toxic coworker, playing "Devil's Advocate" to see all sides, which makes the partner feel betrayed and unsupported.
6. Avoiding scripted platitudes: Refusing to say "I'm so sorry for your loss" or "Thoughts and prayers" because they feel fake, which grieving families interpret as coldness or a lack of sympathy.
7. Giving a "Post-Mortem": Analyzing exactly why a friend's mistake happened while they are still crying about it, which feels like victim-blaming.
8. Physical awkwardness: Standing rigidly or backing away when someone is crying because they don't know if a hug is welcome, which the crying person reads as abandonment.
9. The "Me Too" Hijack: (Similar to your example) Sharing a highly personal, worse experience to show solidarity, which makes the original sufferer feel like their pain is being minimized or stolen.
10. Assuming knowledge: Not checking in on a friend after a tragedy because "they know I care," whereas society expects explicit verbal/written check-ins.

Workplace & Professional Survival

1. Bypassing the chain of command: Emailing the CEO directly to fix a minor bug, which their direct manager views as insubordination and throwing them under the bus.
2. Public corrections: Pointing out a flaw in the boss's presentation in front of the whole team to "save the company," which the boss views as a humiliating power play.
3. Taking "Touch base later" literally: Waiting for the boss to reach out instead of following up, which the manager views as a lack of initiative or laziness.
4. Skipping the "Watercooler": Going straight to their desk and working silently, which colleagues interpret as being aloof, arrogant, or "not a team player."
5. The "5:00 PM" Exit: Leaving exactly on time without saying goodbye to the team, which is perceived as a lack of dedication compared to those who linger and chat.
6. No "Compliment Sandwich": Giving a peer direct, constructive criticism without padding it with compliments first, which causes the peer to become defensive and hostile.
7. Asking "Why?" to an order: Asking for the context behind a manager's request so they can do it better, which the manager interprets as talking back or refusing to comply.
8. Over-explaining mistakes: Sending a massive paragraph explaining why a typo happened (traffic, lack of sleep), which the boss reads as making excuses rather than just owning it.
9. Missing the "Open Door" policy nuance: Walking into the boss's office while they are visibly stressed or on a call because the door was technically open.
10. Ignoring office politics: Refusing to participate in gossip or "playing the game," which leads to being passed over for promotions because they aren't "management material."

Friendship, Boundaries, & Socializing

1. The Unannounced Drop-in: Showing up at a friend's house without texting first because "we are close," which the friend views as a massive boundary violation.
2. The "Vibe" Check: Showing up to a casual backyard BBQ in a suit, or a formal dinner in sweatpants, because they missed the unspoken dress code cues.
3. Canceling due to Burnout: Canceling plans last minute by saying "I am socially exhausted," rather than providing a socially acceptable lie like "I have a migraine," making them seem flaky and unreliable.
4. The "Coffee" Brush-off: Texting "We should get coffee!" after running into an old acquaintance, not realizing this is a polite way to say goodbye, and then aggressively trying to schedule a date.
5. Deep Talk Too Soon: Bringing up existential dread, politics, or religion on the first day of meeting a new friend, which scares them off.
6. 24/7 Availability: Expecting a best friend to reply to texts immediately and feeling deeply betrayed when they don't, leading to accusations of clinginess.
7. The "Plus One" Ignore: Going to a wedding and only talking to the friend who invited them, completely ignoring the partner/plus-one, which is seen as incredibly rude.
8. Taking "Help yourself" literally: Eating the host's expensive, saved leftovers or drinking their special liquor when told to "grab whatever," violating the host's unspoken boundaries.
9. The "Irish Goodbye": Leaving a gathering without saying goodbye to the host because their social battery died, which the host takes as a sign of disrespect or that the party was bad.
10. Loyalty Boundaries: Complaining about Friend A to Friend B, not realizing Friend A and Friend B have a closer bond, resulting in being ousted from the group.

Digital Communication & Texting

1. The Period of Doom: Sending a short text like "Sounds good." with a period at the end, which neurotypicals read as passive-aggressive or angry (they prefer "Sounds good!").
2. Rapid-Fire Texting: Sending 15 separate one-word texts instead of one paragraph, which blows up the other person's phone and causes anxiety.
3. Zero Emojis/Exclamation Points: Sending very dry, factual texts, which the recipient reads as cold, furious, or depressed.
4. "K" or "Fine": Using these abbreviations to mean "Okay" or "I agree," while the other person reads it as furious dismissal.
5. The Ghost & Return: Disappearing for three weeks due to executive dysfunction, then replying to a text as if only five minutes have passed, making the friend feel unvalued.
6. Late Night Monologues: Sending massive paragraphs of deep emotional thoughts at 2:00 AM, which overwhelms the recipient who wakes up to a wall of text.
7. Online = Available: Assuming that because a friend's status is "Active" on a gaming platform or app, they are available to talk right now.
8. Texting Complex Logistics: Trying to plan a 5-person itinerary via group text rather than just calling, leading to days of frustrating miscommunication.
9. Taking Texted Sarcasm Literally: Getting deeply hurt or angry by a friend's sarcastic joke in a text because there was no vocal inflection to signal it.
10. The Read Receipt Panic: Seeing someone read their message and not reply, and immediately assuming the person hates them, leading to anxious double-texting.

Dating, Flirting, & Romance

1. Missing the Flirt: Assuming someone complimenting their shirt or lightly touching their arm is just them "being nice," missing the romantic advance entirely.
2. The "Interview" Date: Asking highly direct, resume-style questions on a first date ("What is your five-year financial plan?"), which kills the romantic tension.
3. Debating as Flirting: Trying to connect by passionately debating a topic or pointing out logical flaws in their date's opinions, which the date finds confrontational and exhausting.
4. "I'm Cold": Not realizing a date saying "I'm cold" might be a request for a jacket or to be put an arm around them, simply responding with "Yes, the temperature has dropped."
5. Intense Eye Contact: Trying to show interest by maintaining unbroken, intense eye contact, which the date finds creepy or aggressive.
6. The First Date Trauma Dump: Oversharing past relationship trauma or medical history on date one to "be honest and authentic," which terrifies the other person.
7. Missing the "End of Date" cues: Not realizing the date is over when the other person checks their phone, yawns, or says "I have an early morning tomorrow," leading to awkward lingering.
8. Exclusivity Assumptions: Assuming that because they went on two great dates, they are now exclusively a couple, leading to accusations of possessiveness.
9. The Bill Dance: Missing the nuanced "fake reach for the wallet" dance and either letting the other person pay without offering, or aggressively paying and making the other person feel emasculated/indebted.
10. Physical Touch Escalation: Not knowing the unspoken timeline for holding hands or kissing, either moving too fast (creepy) or waiting so long the other person thinks they aren't interested.

Group Dynamics & Parties

1. The Abrupt Entry: Walking up to a group of people talking and immediately stating a random fact or opinion without listening to the context first, which makes the group feel hijacked.
2. Killing the Inside Joke: Demanding a detailed explanation of an inside joke, which ruins the comedic timing and annoys the group who just wants to share a moment.
3. Blocking Traffic: Standing in the middle of a doorway, hallway, or bar while talking, completely oblivious to the angry people trying to get past them.
4. Hovering: Standing on the edge of a group without joining in or leaving, which makes the group feel watched and paranoid.
5. The Host's Fatigue: Staying at a party until 2:00 AM while the host is yawning, putting on shoes, and turning on the lights, missing the cue to leave.
6. Correcting the Host: Telling the host they are loading the dishwasher wrong or cooking the meat improperly, which is seen as incredibly insulting in their own home.
7. Ignoring Group Rituals: Refusing to sing "Happy Birthday" or participate in a toast because it feels silly, which the group views as being a snob or a killjoy.
8. Missing the "Room Mood": Bringing up a loud, hilarious story when the group has just received bad news or is in a somber, quiet mood.
9. Private Conversations: Walking right into the middle of two people whispering or having a serious conversation, not reading their closed body language.
10. The "Center of Attention" Monologue: Dominating a group storytelling session, not realizing that group conversations require passing the "talking stick" rapidly.

Politeness Rituals & Gift-Giving

1. The Unwrapped Gift: Handing a birthday gift to someone in the Amazon box it arrived in, focusing only on the item's utility, which the recipient views as thoughtless and lazy.
2. The Honest Reaction: Reacting to a bad gift with visible disappointment or asking for a receipt, rather than the socially required "fake smile and thank you."
3. The Utility Anniversary Gift: Giving a highly practical gift (like a vacuum or a plunger) for a romantic anniversary, which the partner views as deeply unromantic.
4. Missing "Bless You": Not saying "Bless you" when someone sneezes, or "Excuse me" when bumping into someone, which makes them seem uncultured or rude.
5. The "Fake Reach" for the Bill: Not participating in the polite "fight" to pay the bill at a restaurant, just sitting back and waiting, which makes them look cheap.
6. Refusing Food: Saying "No thank you, I'm not hungry" when offered food at a friend's house, which the host takes as a rejection of their hospitality and culture.
7. Arriving "On Time": Arriving exactly at 7:00 PM for a dinner party where the "real" unspoken start time is 7:30 PM, catching the host in their towel while they are still cooking.
8. The "Soft Goodbye": Missing the "Well, I should let you go..." cue and continuing to talk for another 30 minutes, holding the person hostage.
9. Failing Reciprocity: If a friend helps them move, not realizing they are now socially obligated to help that friend move in the future or buy them a nice dinner.
10. Skipping the "Thank You" Card: Not sending a physical thank-you card for a wedding gift because they already thanked them in person, which older generations view as a grave insult.

Humor, Sarcasm, & Tone

1. Agreeing with Self-Deprecation: When a friend jokes, "I'm so stupid," agreeing with them or saying "Yeah, you really messed up," not realizing they were seeking reassurance.
2. The Late Laugh: Laughing at a joke a few seconds too late after processing it, which makes the group feel awkward.
3. Explaining the Punchline: Explaining why a joke is funny if the other person doesn't laugh immediately, which ruins the joke and makes them seem pedantic.
4. Volume Modulation: Telling an exciting, funny story but yelling it in a quiet, upscale restaurant, drawing angry stares from other patrons.
5. The "I'm Fine" Trap: Taking "I'm fine" literally and walking away, missing the angry, passive-aggressive subtext that means "I am furious and you need to figure out why."
6. "Sure, Whatever": Interpreting this phrase as genuine agreement, when it actually means "I am giving up because you aren't listening to me."
7. Forgetting the Sarcastic Tone: Making a highly sarcastic comment but delivering it in a monotone, serious voice, causing a massive misunderstanding and offense.
8. Teasing Insecurities: Teasing a friend about a haircut or an outfit, not realizing it's a deep insecurity, which destroys the trust in the friendship.
9. Academic Vocabulary: Using highly formal, academic, or clinical words in a casual bar setting, which makes people feel stupid or condescended to.
10. Taking "Playful Insults" Seriously: Getting deeply hurt when close friends roast each other, missing that this is a neurotypical bonding mechanism.

Unspoken Taboos & Hierarchies

1. Discussing Money: Openly asking coworkers what their salary is, or loudly discussing the cost of their medical bills, which violates a massive societal taboo.
2. The "Why No Kids?" Question: Asking a married couple why they don't have children yet, completely unaware of potential infertility issues or personal boundaries.
3. Pointing out Physical Changes: Neutrally observing, "You've gained weight" or "Your hair is turning gray," which society views as incredibly rude and insulting.
4. Correcting the Expert: Publicly correcting a professor, doctor, or guest speaker on a minor point, which is seen as deeply disrespectful to their authority.
5. Acronym Ignorance: Asking "What does that stand for?" in a professional meeting where everyone else has been using the industry acronym for years, making them look unprepared.
6. Complaining to the Wrong Friend: Venting to a coworker about the boss, not realizing the coworker is the boss's protege or close friend.
7. Assuming Shared Morals: Starting a heated debate on a highly controversial topic without "testing the waters" first, alienating everyone at the table.
8. Elevator Rules: Trying to strike up a deep conversation with a stranger in an elevator or on a quiet train, violating the unspoken rule of silence and facing forward.
9. The "New Guy" Fixer: Trying to overhaul a systemic issue at a new job in their very first week, missing the "pay your dues" cultural norm and alienating the veterans.
10. Ignoring the "Plus One" Hierarchy: Treating a casual acquaintance's spouse with the same level of bluntness they use with the acquaintance, offending the spouse who doesn't know them well enough to understand their communication style.

Edit: IMPORTANT: if you can take away anything from this, take away this:
What helps me is :
1. Look into facial micro-expressions reading through youtube/ some other websites
2. One thing with neurotypicals is that, no matter who it is they are talking to ONE IMPORTANT underlying thought they constantly have is: "How will this person feel if I tell them this right now"- they are constantly thinking about the other person's emotional state, it does not matter if what you're telling is the factual truth. They will consider you an asshole if you tell them the "factual truth" which might be obvious to you, they would rather live in the bubble of comfort in an illusion

I just need to have a yap about this, because I'm really sick of my sweaty feet. Now, to be fair, everywhere is sweaty, but the moist feet really offend my neurodivergence. I can't sleep until I wash them. Sometimes I have to wash them multiple times a night. I also have fibromyalgia, so I'm constantly using a heating pad, which makes my feet sweat even more. And it's almost like sweat is an emotion? It loves itself? The more my feet sweat the more it seems to be a fucking factorial increase in my sweat production. It's all very rude.

Oh and to add insult to injury I'm on GLP1, which means I'm rocking the moisture of a human in 90 degree weather who hasn't had any water all day. My colon yearns for hydration. It would be really nice if I wasnt losing an offensive amount to my feet. And then there's my sheets, bamboo, soft, and now currently too wet. Now, I'm Swedish and German, so I was basically born without melanin. My skin looks at a product wrong and I have a rash. Guess what I currently have a rash from. My feet, and legs from sitting on them, are red, itchy, and burning.

Antiperspirants do nothing for my pits, so I haven't bothered to use them on my feet. Powders get cakey so that's a nope. I read somewhere online that vinegar helps minimize the sweat, so I guess I can burn my skin in new and fun ways. I truly hate bodily excretions. Even ear wax is annoying. I can feel it. And it's impossible to fully get rid of. Anyway ladies, thanks for coming to my bed talk, if you made it this far.

There was a show on TLC in the 2000s, pretty similar to My Strange Addiction, but with food. Like there was a person on there that only ate French fries. And they called them an addict, tried getting them to try other food, and in many cases in the shows they'd bring out for example a mountain of burgers and say "this is how many burgers you eat in a year"to give them a "wakeup call." Now that I think about it that's a very triggering show. No wonder it didn't last very long.

Hey all

I’m 25F. I was a high achiever in school and university, which led to me getting a really well paying job. My survival mechanism has always been grit and hard work (aka shame myself into having a strong work ethic hahaha). This role rewards all of the things I am weakest at: Maintaining relationships, stress management, perception management, being good at playing the corporate game.

I told myself it’s okay, as I’ll just learn those skills, and that they are necessary for any adult job anyway. I thought of my favourite quote from adventure time “sucking at something is the first step to becoming sort of good at something”. But it has been really, really hard. I don’t naturally understand the unwritten rules that are non negotiable for this job, so I’m constantly messing up. I struggle to naturally and proactively advocate and share my input, so I am often underlooked. I’ve been trying, y’all. Like actively noting these gaps and trying to play the game.

But i’m burnt out. Like beyond anything I’ve ever experienced before. I feel utterly numb. I didn’t even realise the monopoly work had taken over my life until I blinked and all of my hobbies, friendships, and the life I was building outside of work have faded. I give 100% at work just to be ‘slightly below average ’ in this role. I know the role isn’t the right fit but I feel stuck. I wanted to re-upskill but at the moment my capacity is at zero.

I’m exhausted. I spend weekends and evenings sleeping the exhaustion off. I walk around like a zombie and I’ve been crying every evening for the last week. I open my laptop in the mornings, pop an adhd med, and smile and the performance begins.

I feel like a disappointment. I’m already a minority and have always worked really hard to get a seat at the table but it’s not working.

I just want to sleep forever. I work in product management if anyone has any tips. Idk, I just feel like I’m failing at being an adult.

Hi

I been in 2 dv now. I went to therapy to stop the cycle from running to one agein, find I landed in one again. LOL, I was single for 5 years before I met my ex who DV'd. Now been 10 months since I broke up with him,

I come to pattern recognition from 5 years when I was single: healthy men didn't want anything to do with me, ended up ghosting me, thinking " my AuDHD" is chaos and drama, etc. Social cues. I don't blame them for it. I mostly dated men ND, found a lot of men ND, are narcissistic, toxic as fuck! Yeah, society kind of gives men ND, the upper hand compared to women. Fed with a golden spoon. I've come to understanding only bad people who exploit my goodness want me. Now I just gave up, for my own survival, make life much harder, etc., bills and covering basics. Working on my plan for life; man, not even in the image anymore, more like I'm not chasing it anymore; this man has just shown up in the real world in front of me. Well, I'm building my life without anyone to help. Not on dating apps.

I see the same pattern in friendships. Anyone in the same boat?

Also I just wanted an excuse to share my favorite coffee meme, lol

I work as a speech language therapist in schools. It is a challenging job for many reasons. I am working towards leaving my job at the end of this year and doing something completely different.

It’s hard to keep showing up and seeing how neurodivergent kids are treated. I’m not treated any better really but at least I’m an adult and can walk away.

I believe I am good at my job but my approach is not valued. I am either ignored, given lip service, told to stop speaking up, or just treated in outright cruel ways.

I’m not able to mask like I used to and it’s creating extra tension. I used to blame myself for things and I don’t do that anymore. People seemed to “like” me more when I seemed to accept things.

I don’t have a lot of support from other people in my life and it can be so lonely. Sometimes I feel so angry at how much of my life I spent not understanding myself or meeting my own needs.

I am working towards making my life even more my own but this transition time is really hard and lonely.

I have been diagnosed 3 years ago with autism and ADHD. Only my mom didn’t have a problem with it.
my sister said: my friend has the real one.
And my aunt said: you don’t have autism, I work with autistic people!

Keep in mind this is my diagnosis:

Autism level 2
ADHD combined, severe.

So why can’t they see that it is real???
My sister keeps saying you don’t have adhd and if you do you have the lowest. My friend has the real one.
WHY?

I'm only two chapters in to the audiobook and it's kind of filling me with rage? It also reminds me of a comedy but I saw Dave Foley of Kids In The Hall do called "The Power Of Positively No Thinking"

Like obviously my distress at life would be decreased if I didn't think but lobotomies aren't an option anymore so what am I supposed to do

If anyone can reframe it so I don't hate it that would be cool but I'm just wondering what everyone else got from it?

I was diagnosed with ADHD and ASD back in November 2025, and have been on a waiting list for ADHD medication since, as I’d wanted it at the time. But as I’m nearing the very top of the waiting list, I’ve started to feel increasingly nervous about this, to the point that I cannot stop overthinking and have had meltdowns about it, which sounds silly as it will more than likely help.

One of the more frustrating parts about being autistic for me is that I absolutely despise and fear any kind of change, yet everything just seems to be constantly changing lately. I was diagnosed with coeliac disease, have recently had to start a gluten free diet despite almost all of my safe foods containing gluten, and this on top of it just feels very overwhelming. These are my main concerns.

1) The thing I am the most terrified of is myself changing because of it. I’m worried I won’t feel like myself at all anymore, or that I won’t be the same person, and the thought of that just seriously makes me feel so awfully nauseous. While I know that the way I am now makes a lot of things much more difficult, the thought of changing is too scary.

2) I’ve seen quite a few people talk about how when you are both autistic and have ADHD, taking medication for ADHD can make your autistic traits more apparent. This is daunting because I already find it very hard to cope with being autistic, especially considering social difficulties and sensory issues/overload.

3) The whole titration process adds a whole new aspect to my routine. I have only recently started to remember to take medication for chronic migraines nightly, and I’ve been using that for several years. It’s not only being forgetful that is making me feel stressed, though. It’s more-so the monitoring during the process (like sending in your BP and whatnot weekly), the frequent communication with a total stranger, and struggling to understand how medication is making me feel, or if it’s working at all. I find it really difficult to understand how I’m feeling a lot of the time, even physically. This has caused medical issues like UTI’s before, as I can’t even tell when I need to pee, so how am I supposed to know if any kind of medication I’m trying is not gelling well with me?

I’m sorry if this makes no sense at all, I’m not very good at explaining things, but I’m lost on what to do about this. It would be a shame to back out now, but it is causing me so much stress. For anyone who is already medicated; what is it like for you? Are my concerns real, or am I totally overthinking things like I always do?

Hello Reddit! Today I had a meeting with one of my managers (yeah we have two because we are a big team) because a few weeks ago I came close to a meltdown after one too many new thing added on my workload. I ended up telling them I have been alerting for weeks... She felt bad and so scheduled a meeting for today to discuss my workload, assess my needs and give me directions on what to prioritize. During today's meeting I ended up disclosing my Audhd. She seemed to care and asked about its repercussions on my work. So I told her about the effects. And honestly I know she does her best but I don't think it will help me much in the end. I told her that having less time to do my job with quality was making me anxious ( I like everything to be neat and polished, to make sense and be without approximation) and that sometimes I have no choice but take some extra time in order to be sure things are as they should be because I could not live with these approximation. Extra time I can't afford right now because they increased our workload so much this past year. She told me "but if you know this is a symptom of your disability then can't you just tell yourself "this is this" and move on".. God I wish it were that simple. At that moment I knew there was no hope on that end.... She did set some things up that might be helpful and encouraged me to talk to the other manager (who I think will be more helpful... But I'm still anxious. I struggle to talk about my diagnosis ...)

To make things worse just after that meeting I heard my colleagues from the office next to mine talking (both our doors were open...) and I could have sworn to have heard my name. I could not exactly hear what it was about but it wasn't "nice". It happens twice today and I know I should not care. They are not my friends but I considered them friendly enough... And now my RSD is through the roof and I feel like sh**....

My psychiatrist told me to look for another job before I hit burnout. That's what I'm doing but I don't even know what job to look for anymore. Everything seem exhausting or out of reach....

Does anyone else have experienced something like this? What did you do? And if you changed jobs, what job did you leave and what job did you take?

I'm struggling with recovering from burnout and trying to figure out what a sustainable life looks like for me.

I've been unemployed for a year and a half, and I'm on medical leave from my masters program. I even withdrew from a 2-week study abroad trip that I was initially really excited about; I couldn't manage getting all the paperwork done in time and I was worried I wouldn't be able to handle the trip itself.

The trouble is that almost 3 years years post-diagnosis I don't feel like I'm all that much closer to understanding what my capacity is -- or even how to figure that out.

I don't even know if I'll ever be able to return to work, and so I'm also questioning whether I should just drop out of my masters program. Worryingly, I used to really love taking classes, and then last term, I just couldn't get myself to do anything school-related without an immense internal battle.

I no longer know what goals and plans to say "yes" to and what goals and plans to say "no" to. The only plans I feel comfortable making are for projects that I can drop without it impacting others.

I've managed to construct a life where only my dog is dependent on me, so that gives me a lot of flexibility. But a lot of what I think gives my life meaning and purpose -- like the study abroad trip that I didn't go on or an RV trip with my elderly mom that I hope to plan for the spring -- involves a lot of planning ahead and the ability to judge what my capacity will be like sometime in the future.

How do you come to understand what your capacity is? How do you plan your life knowing that your capacity today may not be the same tomorrow or next week or next year?

I know I need to work from home because I’m exhausted with the outside world.
But I don’t like being on computers for very long if at all.
If you’re working from home, what kinds of jobs are you doing?

Does anyone else wake up in the middle of the night with a wide awake brain ??? Like I lay in bed and can’t stop thinking about usually fiction or stories and my special interests . Like hyper wide awake I roll around , kick my feet . lol . Must be annoying to my husband .
How do you get yourself to stop playing mental stories and ideas and go back to sleep! Today my Brain decided I was a YouTuber making recipes online and boy even in imaginary world it went totally off script . What does loving the beach or an accent somone has have to do with cooking nachos ???
If I don’t finish the story or series of stories then I can’t go back to sleep …. Sigh

Recently left my job due to an incredibly toxic work environment that was killing me to stay in. I was at the company for nearly 5 years and suffered a fair bit of workplace trauma whilst there, as well as dealing with a lot personally.

I received my diagnosis of ADHD combined type in February and Autism in July. I am still in the queue for ADHD meds titration.

I’ve been off work for 2.5 months now:
First three weeks was me unravelling and in floods most days.
Two weeks of feeling slightly better but mostly numb and likely just as depressed but not crying as much.
Two weeks of relatives visiting and doing a bit of travel. Attended two social events within the same week that they left, which while fun, left me very drained.
And for the past 4 weeks, it’s just been pure bliss of doing nothing with zero obligations.

I’m privileged in that I have money saved up and don’t need to get a job immediately but know that I can’t just do nothing forever. For now, I’m trying to figure out what type of job and work environment to pivot to next.

Am also attempting to find a ND therapist, but of course this will likely be yet another slog. I know if they don’t work out I can just go with someone else, but I dread the energy it’ll take doing so.

I feel guilty as my partner is working, but feel like this has been the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I had burnout back in autumn last year but went back to work too quickly, so am not sure what amount of time is normal for AuDHDers.

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read. What do you feel is a reasonable amount of time to recover from all of this and not be expected to jump back onto the hamster wheel of death (aka work)? Thanks ❤️

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Hi okay so I ended up forgetting my meds and landed myself in the hospital and it was cause I was hyper focused on cleaning a room Ignored for months over a span of 2 days and only 4 hours of sleep, and like I apparently have hypertension now and also the second I relaxed I got bad chest pain and like almost had a heart attack(like not actually but I was overly stressed and had a stress attack cause I have panic disorder and I thought it was just a. Panic attack but it wasn't because it was different but like that's besides the point anyways I trying to figure out a way to make sure I take my meds on time I do have a PCP visit soon but I'm sure she's going to just tell me to get an organizer and set alarms which like doesn't work cause I ignore them or can't hear them.

Also there is the fact I have to eat a WHOLE meal and go to work and most time I try to wake up earlier to get in breakfast but that doesn't work either and I end up eating while at work and not taking my meds till way later. Anyways idk I'm rambling but I would like some real people opinions and stuff to try

Pic on me sending myself to the hospital for tax

EDIT for additional context : I WFH and don't drive so I'm almost always home

I take 4 meds in the morning (one I have to eat a whole meal with and I end up taking all of them at once I won't take just 3 and wait for the 4th one later )

2 in the evening (before I eat they are for IBS and Gurd but I never eat at a specific time so like idk )

1 weekly(I constantly forget that one )

And I have one I take at random (when I have a panic attack )

And one every 3 months( this one is the hardest one to remember and it's only if I don't have a period )

I don’t know if this is common in our world or not, but for me, friendships have been particularly difficult to manage.

I find that most neurotypical people I’ve attempted friendships with have a vastly different expectation on how close we should be as friends… they seem to expect me to be “on” for them, on-demand. Those friendships have all fizzled out over time… some subtly and others spectacularly.

I simply don’t need (and am frankly allergic to) that kind of “connection.” I’m strongly averse to neediness in relationships. It doesn’t feel real and genuine to me. It just feels sticky.

That said, I refuse to believe that “my kind of tribe” can’t exist, we just have to find each other. And so, my question is:

If social media was trustworthy (ie, didn’t exploit your attention for ad money), understood and advocated for your individual (not stereotypical) AuDHD needs, and actually existed to get you offline and humaning with other humans, how would your life and relationships be better?

Thanks in advance for considering and discussing. I think I want to build a startup in this space, but am keen on getting real-life insight first to see if it’s not “just me.”

My favorite headphones broke. 😭 I need recommendations for over the ear headphones that have large open padding section over the ear and do a decent job of noise cancellation. The ones I had fit completely over my ears with room to spare and had thick padding so it wasn’t squishing my ears. Any recommendations?

Hello,

I am new to AUDHD diagnosis,share with me what helped you the most to function.

Aswell any tips to find love/husband as AUDHD- would you choose NT or ND men ?

❤️

It's like I'm about to do the laundry and suddenly remembering that I absolutely MUST reorganize my spice rack right this second. Or researching the perfect dog shampoo even though I don't own a dog. The sheer amount of effort I put into avoiding things is truly astounding.