I’m so sick of pretending everything is ok. That’s really it. I’m not even going to say I have “justice sensitivity”, I simply have a beating heart and I care. That’s it. I’m tired of being gaslit. I’m tired of being told “maybe you need to adjust your meds”. No no more meds. I want change and I want change NOW. I want these evil people either to behave or get the hell off this is planet. I don’t care if this seems delusional. Fine I’m delusional because I want a better world. I’m delusional because I don’t want genocide and war and all these awful things to happen anymore. I’m delusional because I don’t want people to suffer. I’m delusional because I want to see everyone work in tandem to make a better world. “Good wouldn’t exist without evil” I actually think good can exist and evil cannot exist! It’s all a choice ! I actually truly believe this world can become a peaceful place. So yes I’m delusional and I will forever be delusional and die on this hill that’s filled with my hopes that I scream at the top of daily.

I’ve spent my entire life wondering why I’m so different o everyone. I’ve always felt misunderstood, like no one really hears me when I tell them how difficult this world is for me.

You hear the cliche saying “I find it hard to get out of bed”, but people don’t always understand the neurodivergent reasoning for that. It’s not depression. It’s not because I am sad. It’s because lights are too bright, noise is too loud, expectations are too high, masking feels impossible at 30. Feelings like an outcast is hard. Raising neurodivergent kids too.

I am not saying I want to die. I have too much to live for. But this world isn’t made for people like me.

“What practical solutions do therapists have for someone whose problem is a genetic and neurological incompatibility with how society functions, the very things that pay your bills.

I don’t see that there is a solution that truly favors the person in therapy over society systems”

It’s been weeks and I haven’t found the answer to this

​

Deep down, there is anger, and I get angry. But more and more the fog of 'what's even the point anymore' becomes thicker and thicker. Everything feels like a losing battle.

Everything in my life is a fight.. And I'm sick of fighting, mainly because it gets me no where or at least no where near what I want out of it. And if I don't fight, I still end up in the same place. The outcome is always shit.

I'm referring to everything in life, from my illnesses preventing me from working, to being broke, to having a stress inducing family, having basically no friends, having a housing situation that causes a lot of distress (and I moved here in order to get away from another hell of a housing situation... of course, like just my luck)

I don't even feel sorry for myself anymore. It just is what it is. I'm numb. There's nothing I can do about it. I can't even rest peacefully at home because my home has issues.

Life sucks. I hate it. I want to opt out. If only 'opting out' were a painless, easy, and readily available option.

Conversational Dynamics & Turn-Taking

1. Answering "How are you?" literally: Giving a detailed, honest update about their health or mood to a cashier or acquaintance, which the other person views as "trauma-dumping" or oversharing.
2. The "Filler" Question: Giving a 10-minute play-by-play of their weekend when a coworker asks, "What did you get into this weekend?" as a polite 10-second icebreaker.
3. Interrupting out of excitement: Cutting someone off because they are afraid they will forget their thought, which makes the speaker feel disrespected and unheard.
4. Missing the "Wrap-Up" cues: Not realizing someone is trying to end the conversation (e.g., they are stepping back, pointing their feet toward the door, or saying "Well..."), leading to the other person feeling trapped.
5. The "Echo" Response: Repeating back what someone just said to confirm they heard it, which neurotypicals sometimes interpret as mockery or condescension.
6. Correcting minor factual errors: Pointing out that a friend's story happened in 2018, not 2019, in the middle of an emotional story, which derails the emotional connection and makes the friend feel interrogated.
7. Failing to ask reciprocal questions: Talking about a personal interest for 20 minutes but forgetting to ask, "What about you?", which makes them appear self-absorbed.
8. Taking rhetorical questions literally: Answering a frustrated parent or boss who asks, "How many times do I have to tell you?" with an actual number, which is seen as cheeky or defiant.
9. The "Silence" Void: Feeling the need to fill every pause in a conversation with facts, whereas neurotypicals often use silence to process or bond, making the autistic person seem anxious or overbearing.
10. Missing the "Soft No": When someone says, "I'm really busy this week, but maybe later," the autistic person asks again next week, not realizing it was a polite rejection, making them seem like a stalker or pest.

Emotional Support & Empathy Mismatches

1. Fixing instead of listening: Offering practical, logical solutions to a crying friend who just wanted to vent, making the friend feel invalidated and dismissed.
2. "It could be worse": Trying to comfort someone by pointing out a silver lining or a worse scenario, which the grieving/upset person views as toxic positivity and incredibly insensitive.
3. Nervous laughter: Smiling or laughing when hearing shocking or tragic news due to nervous system overload, which makes others think they are sadistic or glad about the tragedy.
4. The Blank Stare: Processing intense emotional news with a completely flat, blank facial expression, which the speaker interprets as them not caring at all.
5. Matching negativity with logic: When a partner is venting about a toxic coworker, playing "Devil's Advocate" to see all sides, which makes the partner feel betrayed and unsupported.
6. Avoiding scripted platitudes: Refusing to say "I'm so sorry for your loss" or "Thoughts and prayers" because they feel fake, which grieving families interpret as coldness or a lack of sympathy.
7. Giving a "Post-Mortem": Analyzing exactly why a friend's mistake happened while they are still crying about it, which feels like victim-blaming.
8. Physical awkwardness: Standing rigidly or backing away when someone is crying because they don't know if a hug is welcome, which the crying person reads as abandonment.
9. The "Me Too" Hijack: (Similar to your example) Sharing a highly personal, worse experience to show solidarity, which makes the original sufferer feel like their pain is being minimized or stolen.
10. Assuming knowledge: Not checking in on a friend after a tragedy because "they know I care," whereas society expects explicit verbal/written check-ins.

Workplace & Professional Survival

1. Bypassing the chain of command: Emailing the CEO directly to fix a minor bug, which their direct manager views as insubordination and throwing them under the bus.
2. Public corrections: Pointing out a flaw in the boss's presentation in front of the whole team to "save the company," which the boss views as a humiliating power play.
3. Taking "Touch base later" literally: Waiting for the boss to reach out instead of following up, which the manager views as a lack of initiative or laziness.
4. Skipping the "Watercooler": Going straight to their desk and working silently, which colleagues interpret as being aloof, arrogant, or "not a team player."
5. The "5:00 PM" Exit: Leaving exactly on time without saying goodbye to the team, which is perceived as a lack of dedication compared to those who linger and chat.
6. No "Compliment Sandwich": Giving a peer direct, constructive criticism without padding it with compliments first, which causes the peer to become defensive and hostile.
7. Asking "Why?" to an order: Asking for the context behind a manager's request so they can do it better, which the manager interprets as talking back or refusing to comply.
8. Over-explaining mistakes: Sending a massive paragraph explaining why a typo happened (traffic, lack of sleep), which the boss reads as making excuses rather than just owning it.
9. Missing the "Open Door" policy nuance: Walking into the boss's office while they are visibly stressed or on a call because the door was technically open.
10. Ignoring office politics: Refusing to participate in gossip or "playing the game," which leads to being passed over for promotions because they aren't "management material."

Friendship, Boundaries, & Socializing

1. The Unannounced Drop-in: Showing up at a friend's house without texting first because "we are close," which the friend views as a massive boundary violation.
2. The "Vibe" Check: Showing up to a casual backyard BBQ in a suit, or a formal dinner in sweatpants, because they missed the unspoken dress code cues.
3. Canceling due to Burnout: Canceling plans last minute by saying "I am socially exhausted," rather than providing a socially acceptable lie like "I have a migraine," making them seem flaky and unreliable.
4. The "Coffee" Brush-off: Texting "We should get coffee!" after running into an old acquaintance, not realizing this is a polite way to say goodbye, and then aggressively trying to schedule a date.
5. Deep Talk Too Soon: Bringing up existential dread, politics, or religion on the first day of meeting a new friend, which scares them off.
6. 24/7 Availability: Expecting a best friend to reply to texts immediately and feeling deeply betrayed when they don't, leading to accusations of clinginess.
7. The "Plus One" Ignore: Going to a wedding and only talking to the friend who invited them, completely ignoring the partner/plus-one, which is seen as incredibly rude.
8. Taking "Help yourself" literally: Eating the host's expensive, saved leftovers or drinking their special liquor when told to "grab whatever," violating the host's unspoken boundaries.
9. The "Irish Goodbye": Leaving a gathering without saying goodbye to the host because their social battery died, which the host takes as a sign of disrespect or that the party was bad.
10. Loyalty Boundaries: Complaining about Friend A to Friend B, not realizing Friend A and Friend B have a closer bond, resulting in being ousted from the group.

Digital Communication & Texting

1. The Period of Doom: Sending a short text like "Sounds good." with a period at the end, which neurotypicals read as passive-aggressive or angry (they prefer "Sounds good!").
2. Rapid-Fire Texting: Sending 15 separate one-word texts instead of one paragraph, which blows up the other person's phone and causes anxiety.
3. Zero Emojis/Exclamation Points: Sending very dry, factual texts, which the recipient reads as cold, furious, or depressed.
4. "K" or "Fine": Using these abbreviations to mean "Okay" or "I agree," while the other person reads it as furious dismissal.
5. The Ghost & Return: Disappearing for three weeks due to executive dysfunction, then replying to a text as if only five minutes have passed, making the friend feel unvalued.
6. Late Night Monologues: Sending massive paragraphs of deep emotional thoughts at 2:00 AM, which overwhelms the recipient who wakes up to a wall of text.
7. Online = Available: Assuming that because a friend's status is "Active" on a gaming platform or app, they are available to talk right now.
8. Texting Complex Logistics: Trying to plan a 5-person itinerary via group text rather than just calling, leading to days of frustrating miscommunication.
9. Taking Texted Sarcasm Literally: Getting deeply hurt or angry by a friend's sarcastic joke in a text because there was no vocal inflection to signal it.
10. The Read Receipt Panic: Seeing someone read their message and not reply, and immediately assuming the person hates them, leading to anxious double-texting.

Dating, Flirting, & Romance

1. Missing the Flirt: Assuming someone complimenting their shirt or lightly touching their arm is just them "being nice," missing the romantic advance entirely.
2. The "Interview" Date: Asking highly direct, resume-style questions on a first date ("What is your five-year financial plan?"), which kills the romantic tension.
3. Debating as Flirting: Trying to connect by passionately debating a topic or pointing out logical flaws in their date's opinions, which the date finds confrontational and exhausting.
4. "I'm Cold": Not realizing a date saying "I'm cold" might be a request for a jacket or to be put an arm around them, simply responding with "Yes, the temperature has dropped."
5. Intense Eye Contact: Trying to show interest by maintaining unbroken, intense eye contact, which the date finds creepy or aggressive.
6. The First Date Trauma Dump: Oversharing past relationship trauma or medical history on date one to "be honest and authentic," which terrifies the other person.
7. Missing the "End of Date" cues: Not realizing the date is over when the other person checks their phone, yawns, or says "I have an early morning tomorrow," leading to awkward lingering.
8. Exclusivity Assumptions: Assuming that because they went on two great dates, they are now exclusively a couple, leading to accusations of possessiveness.
9. The Bill Dance: Missing the nuanced "fake reach for the wallet" dance and either letting the other person pay without offering, or aggressively paying and making the other person feel emasculated/indebted.
10. Physical Touch Escalation: Not knowing the unspoken timeline for holding hands or kissing, either moving too fast (creepy) or waiting so long the other person thinks they aren't interested.

Group Dynamics & Parties

1. The Abrupt Entry: Walking up to a group of people talking and immediately stating a random fact or opinion without listening to the context first, which makes the group feel hijacked.
2. Killing the Inside Joke: Demanding a detailed explanation of an inside joke, which ruins the comedic timing and annoys the group who just wants to share a moment.
3. Blocking Traffic: Standing in the middle of a doorway, hallway, or bar while talking, completely oblivious to the angry people trying to get past them.
4. Hovering: Standing on the edge of a group without joining in or leaving, which makes the group feel watched and paranoid.
5. The Host's Fatigue: Staying at a party until 2:00 AM while the host is yawning, putting on shoes, and turning on the lights, missing the cue to leave.
6. Correcting the Host: Telling the host they are loading the dishwasher wrong or cooking the meat improperly, which is seen as incredibly insulting in their own home.
7. Ignoring Group Rituals: Refusing to sing "Happy Birthday" or participate in a toast because it feels silly, which the group views as being a snob or a killjoy.
8. Missing the "Room Mood": Bringing up a loud, hilarious story when the group has just received bad news or is in a somber, quiet mood.
9. Private Conversations: Walking right into the middle of two people whispering or having a serious conversation, not reading their closed body language.
10. The "Center of Attention" Monologue: Dominating a group storytelling session, not realizing that group conversations require passing the "talking stick" rapidly.

Politeness Rituals & Gift-Giving

1. The Unwrapped Gift: Handing a birthday gift to someone in the Amazon box it arrived in, focusing only on the item's utility, which the recipient views as thoughtless and lazy.
2. The Honest Reaction: Reacting to a bad gift with visible disappointment or asking for a receipt, rather than the socially required "fake smile and thank you."
3. The Utility Anniversary Gift: Giving a highly practical gift (like a vacuum or a plunger) for a romantic anniversary, which the partner views as deeply unromantic.
4. Missing "Bless You": Not saying "Bless you" when someone sneezes, or "Excuse me" when bumping into someone, which makes them seem uncultured or rude.
5. The "Fake Reach" for the Bill: Not participating in the polite "fight" to pay the bill at a restaurant, just sitting back and waiting, which makes them look cheap.
6. Refusing Food: Saying "No thank you, I'm not hungry" when offered food at a friend's house, which the host takes as a rejection of their hospitality and culture.
7. Arriving "On Time": Arriving exactly at 7:00 PM for a dinner party where the "real" unspoken start time is 7:30 PM, catching the host in their towel while they are still cooking.
8. The "Soft Goodbye": Missing the "Well, I should let you go..." cue and continuing to talk for another 30 minutes, holding the person hostage.
9. Failing Reciprocity: If a friend helps them move, not realizing they are now socially obligated to help that friend move in the future or buy them a nice dinner.
10. Skipping the "Thank You" Card: Not sending a physical thank-you card for a wedding gift because they already thanked them in person, which older generations view as a grave insult.

Humor, Sarcasm, & Tone

1. Agreeing with Self-Deprecation: When a friend jokes, "I'm so stupid," agreeing with them or saying "Yeah, you really messed up," not realizing they were seeking reassurance.
2. The Late Laugh: Laughing at a joke a few seconds too late after processing it, which makes the group feel awkward.
3. Explaining the Punchline: Explaining why a joke is funny if the other person doesn't laugh immediately, which ruins the joke and makes them seem pedantic.
4. Volume Modulation: Telling an exciting, funny story but yelling it in a quiet, upscale restaurant, drawing angry stares from other patrons.
5. The "I'm Fine" Trap: Taking "I'm fine" literally and walking away, missing the angry, passive-aggressive subtext that means "I am furious and you need to figure out why."
6. "Sure, Whatever": Interpreting this phrase as genuine agreement, when it actually means "I am giving up because you aren't listening to me."
7. Forgetting the Sarcastic Tone: Making a highly sarcastic comment but delivering it in a monotone, serious voice, causing a massive misunderstanding and offense.
8. Teasing Insecurities: Teasing a friend about a haircut or an outfit, not realizing it's a deep insecurity, which destroys the trust in the friendship.
9. Academic Vocabulary: Using highly formal, academic, or clinical words in a casual bar setting, which makes people feel stupid or condescended to.
10. Taking "Playful Insults" Seriously: Getting deeply hurt when close friends roast each other, missing that this is a neurotypical bonding mechanism.

Unspoken Taboos & Hierarchies

1. Discussing Money: Openly asking coworkers what their salary is, or loudly discussing the cost of their medical bills, which violates a massive societal taboo.
2. The "Why No Kids?" Question: Asking a married couple why they don't have children yet, completely unaware of potential infertility issues or personal boundaries.
3. Pointing out Physical Changes: Neutrally observing, "You've gained weight" or "Your hair is turning gray," which society views as incredibly rude and insulting.
4. Correcting the Expert: Publicly correcting a professor, doctor, or guest speaker on a minor point, which is seen as deeply disrespectful to their authority.
5. Acronym Ignorance: Asking "What does that stand for?" in a professional meeting where everyone else has been using the industry acronym for years, making them look unprepared.
6. Complaining to the Wrong Friend: Venting to a coworker about the boss, not realizing the coworker is the boss's protege or close friend.
7. Assuming Shared Morals: Starting a heated debate on a highly controversial topic without "testing the waters" first, alienating everyone at the table.
8. Elevator Rules: Trying to strike up a deep conversation with a stranger in an elevator or on a quiet train, violating the unspoken rule of silence and facing forward.
9. The "New Guy" Fixer: Trying to overhaul a systemic issue at a new job in their very first week, missing the "pay your dues" cultural norm and alienating the veterans.
10. Ignoring the "Plus One" Hierarchy: Treating a casual acquaintance's spouse with the same level of bluntness they use with the acquaintance, offending the spouse who doesn't know them well enough to understand their communication style.

Edit: IMPORTANT: if you can take away anything from this, take away this:
What helps me is :
1. Look into facial micro-expressions reading through youtube/ some other websites
2. One thing with neurotypicals is that, no matter who it is they are talking to ONE IMPORTANT underlying thought they constantly have is: "How will this person feel if I tell them this right now"- they are constantly thinking about the other person's emotional state, it does not matter if what you're telling is the factual truth. They will consider you an asshole if you tell them the "factual truth" which might be obvious to you, they would rather live in the bubble of comfort in an illusion

There was a show on TLC in the 2000s, pretty similar to My Strange Addiction, but with food. Like there was a person on there that only ate French fries. And they called them an addict, tried getting them to try other food, and in many cases in the shows they'd bring out for example a mountain of burgers and say "this is how many burgers you eat in a year"to give them a "wakeup call." Now that I think about it that's a very triggering show. No wonder it didn't last very long.

Hey all

I’m 25F. I was a high achiever in school and university, which led to me getting a really well paying job. My survival mechanism has always been grit and hard work (aka shame myself into having a strong work ethic hahaha). This role rewards all of the things I am weakest at: Maintaining relationships, stress management, perception management, being good at playing the corporate game.

I told myself it’s okay, as I’ll just learn those skills, and that they are necessary for any adult job anyway. I thought of my favourite quote from adventure time “sucking at something is the first step to becoming sort of good at something”. But it has been really, really hard. I don’t naturally understand the unwritten rules that are non negotiable for this job, so I’m constantly messing up. I struggle to naturally and proactively advocate and share my input, so I am often underlooked. I’ve been trying, y’all. Like actively noting these gaps and trying to play the game.

But i’m burnt out. Like beyond anything I’ve ever experienced before. I feel utterly numb. I didn’t even realise the monopoly work had taken over my life until I blinked and all of my hobbies, friendships, and the life I was building outside of work have faded. I give 100% at work just to be ‘slightly below average ’ in this role. I know the role isn’t the right fit but I feel stuck. I wanted to re-upskill but at the moment my capacity is at zero.

I’m exhausted. I spend weekends and evenings sleeping the exhaustion off. I walk around like a zombie and I’ve been crying every evening for the last week. I open my laptop in the mornings, pop an adhd med, and smile and the performance begins.

I feel like a disappointment. I’m already a minority and have always worked really hard to get a seat at the table but it’s not working.

I just want to sleep forever. I work in product management if anyone has any tips. Idk, I just feel like I’m failing at being an adult.

I just need to have a yap about this, because I'm really sick of my sweaty feet. Now, to be fair, everywhere is sweaty, but the moist feet really offend my neurodivergence. I can't sleep until I wash them. Sometimes I have to wash them multiple times a night. I also have fibromyalgia, so I'm constantly using a heating pad, which makes my feet sweat even more. And it's almost like sweat is an emotion? It loves itself? The more my feet sweat the more it seems to be a fucking factorial increase in my sweat production. It's all very rude.

Oh and to add insult to injury I'm on GLP1, which means I'm rocking the moisture of a human in 90 degree weather who hasn't had any water all day. My colon yearns for hydration. It would be really nice if I wasnt losing an offensive amount to my feet. And then there's my sheets, bamboo, soft, and now currently too wet. Now, I'm Swedish and German, so I was basically born without melanin. My skin looks at a product wrong and I have a rash. Guess what I currently have a rash from. My feet, and legs from sitting on them, are red, itchy, and burning.

Antiperspirants do nothing for my pits, so I haven't bothered to use them on my feet. Powders get cakey so that's a nope. I read somewhere online that vinegar helps minimize the sweat, so I guess I can burn my skin in new and fun ways. I truly hate bodily excretions. Even ear wax is annoying. I can feel it. And it's impossible to fully get rid of. Anyway ladies, thanks for coming to my bed talk, if you made it this far.

Also I just wanted an excuse to share my favorite coffee meme, lol

I work as a speech language therapist in schools. It is a challenging job for many reasons. I am working towards leaving my job at the end of this year and doing something completely different.

It’s hard to keep showing up and seeing how neurodivergent kids are treated. I’m not treated any better really but at least I’m an adult and can walk away.

I believe I am good at my job but my approach is not valued. I am either ignored, given lip service, told to stop speaking up, or just treated in outright cruel ways.

I’m not able to mask like I used to and it’s creating extra tension. I used to blame myself for things and I don’t do that anymore. People seemed to “like” me more when I seemed to accept things.

I don’t have a lot of support from other people in my life and it can be so lonely. Sometimes I feel so angry at how much of my life I spent not understanding myself or meeting my own needs.

I am working towards making my life even more my own but this transition time is really hard and lonely.

I have been diagnosed 3 years ago with autism and ADHD. Only my mom didn’t have a problem with it.
my sister said: my friend has the real one.
And my aunt said: you don’t have autism, I work with autistic people!

Keep in mind this is my diagnosis:

Autism level 2
ADHD combined, severe.

So why can’t they see that it is real???
My sister keeps saying you don’t have adhd and if you do you have the lowest. My friend has the real one.
WHY?

I'm only two chapters in to the audiobook and it's kind of filling me with rage? It also reminds me of a comedy but I saw Dave Foley of Kids In The Hall do called "The Power Of Positively No Thinking"

Like obviously my distress at life would be decreased if I didn't think but lobotomies aren't an option anymore so what am I supposed to do

If anyone can reframe it so I don't hate it that would be cool but I'm just wondering what everyone else got from it?

I was diagnosed with ADHD and ASD back in November 2025, and have been on a waiting list for ADHD medication since, as I’d wanted it at the time. But as I’m nearing the very top of the waiting list, I’ve started to feel increasingly nervous about this, to the point that I cannot stop overthinking and have had meltdowns about it, which sounds silly as it will more than likely help.

One of the more frustrating parts about being autistic for me is that I absolutely despise and fear any kind of change, yet everything just seems to be constantly changing lately. I was diagnosed with coeliac disease, have recently had to start a gluten free diet despite almost all of my safe foods containing gluten, and this on top of it just feels very overwhelming. These are my main concerns.

1) The thing I am the most terrified of is myself changing because of it. I’m worried I won’t feel like myself at all anymore, or that I won’t be the same person, and the thought of that just seriously makes me feel so awfully nauseous. While I know that the way I am now makes a lot of things much more difficult, the thought of changing is too scary.

2) I’ve seen quite a few people talk about how when you are both autistic and have ADHD, taking medication for ADHD can make your autistic traits more apparent. This is daunting because I already find it very hard to cope with being autistic, especially considering social difficulties and sensory issues/overload.

3) The whole titration process adds a whole new aspect to my routine. I have only recently started to remember to take medication for chronic migraines nightly, and I’ve been using that for several years. It’s not only being forgetful that is making me feel stressed, though. It’s more-so the monitoring during the process (like sending in your BP and whatnot weekly), the frequent communication with a total stranger, and struggling to understand how medication is making me feel, or if it’s working at all. I find it really difficult to understand how I’m feeling a lot of the time, even physically. This has caused medical issues like UTI’s before, as I can’t even tell when I need to pee, so how am I supposed to know if any kind of medication I’m trying is not gelling well with me?

I’m sorry if this makes no sense at all, I’m not very good at explaining things, but I’m lost on what to do about this. It would be a shame to back out now, but it is causing me so much stress. For anyone who is already medicated; what is it like for you? Are my concerns real, or am I totally overthinking things like I always do?

Hello Reddit! Today I had a meeting with one of my managers (yeah we have two because we are a big team) because a few weeks ago I came close to a meltdown after one too many new thing added on my workload. I ended up telling them I have been alerting for weeks... She felt bad and so scheduled a meeting for today to discuss my workload, assess my needs and give me directions on what to prioritize. During today's meeting I ended up disclosing my Audhd. She seemed to care and asked about its repercussions on my work. So I told her about the effects. And honestly I know she does her best but I don't think it will help me much in the end. I told her that having less time to do my job with quality was making me anxious ( I like everything to be neat and polished, to make sense and be without approximation) and that sometimes I have no choice but take some extra time in order to be sure things are as they should be because I could not live with these approximation. Extra time I can't afford right now because they increased our workload so much this past year. She told me "but if you know this is a symptom of your disability then can't you just tell yourself "this is this" and move on".. God I wish it were that simple. At that moment I knew there was no hope on that end.... She did set some things up that might be helpful and encouraged me to talk to the other manager (who I think will be more helpful... But I'm still anxious. I struggle to talk about my diagnosis ...)

To make things worse just after that meeting I heard my colleagues from the office next to mine talking (both our doors were open...) and I could have sworn to have heard my name. I could not exactly hear what it was about but it wasn't "nice". It happens twice today and I know I should not care. They are not my friends but I considered them friendly enough... And now my RSD is through the roof and I feel like sh**....

My psychiatrist told me to look for another job before I hit burnout. That's what I'm doing but I don't even know what job to look for anymore. Everything seem exhausting or out of reach....

Does anyone else have experienced something like this? What did you do? And if you changed jobs, what job did you leave and what job did you take?

I'm struggling with recovering from burnout and trying to figure out what a sustainable life looks like for me.

I've been unemployed for a year and a half, and I'm on medical leave from my masters program. I even withdrew from a 2-week study abroad trip that I was initially really excited about; I couldn't manage getting all the paperwork done in time and I was worried I wouldn't be able to handle the trip itself.

The trouble is that almost 3 years years post-diagnosis I don't feel like I'm all that much closer to understanding what my capacity is -- or even how to figure that out.

I don't even know if I'll ever be able to return to work, and so I'm also questioning whether I should just drop out of my masters program. Worryingly, I used to really love taking classes, and then last term, I just couldn't get myself to do anything school-related without an immense internal battle.

I no longer know what goals and plans to say "yes" to and what goals and plans to say "no" to. The only plans I feel comfortable making are for projects that I can drop without it impacting others.

I've managed to construct a life where only my dog is dependent on me, so that gives me a lot of flexibility. But a lot of what I think gives my life meaning and purpose -- like the study abroad trip that I didn't go on or an RV trip with my elderly mom that I hope to plan for the spring -- involves a lot of planning ahead and the ability to judge what my capacity will be like sometime in the future.

How do you come to understand what your capacity is? How do you plan your life knowing that your capacity today may not be the same tomorrow or next week or next year?

I know I need to work from home because I’m exhausted with the outside world.
But I don’t like being on computers for very long if at all.
If you’re working from home, what kinds of jobs are you doing?

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Hi okay so I ended up forgetting my meds and landed myself in the hospital and it was cause I was hyper focused on cleaning a room Ignored for months over a span of 2 days and only 4 hours of sleep, and like I apparently have hypertension now and also the second I relaxed I got bad chest pain and like almost had a heart attack(like not actually but I was overly stressed and had a stress attack cause I have panic disorder and I thought it was just a. Panic attack but it wasn't because it was different but like that's besides the point anyways I trying to figure out a way to make sure I take my meds on time I do have a PCP visit soon but I'm sure she's going to just tell me to get an organizer and set alarms which like doesn't work cause I ignore them or can't hear them.

Also there is the fact I have to eat a WHOLE meal and go to work and most time I try to wake up earlier to get in breakfast but that doesn't work either and I end up eating while at work and not taking my meds till way later. Anyways idk I'm rambling but I would like some real people opinions and stuff to try

Pic on me sending myself to the hospital for tax

EDIT for additional context : I WFH and don't drive so I'm almost always home

I take 4 meds in the morning (one I have to eat a whole meal with and I end up taking all of them at once I won't take just 3 and wait for the 4th one later )

2 in the evening (before I eat they are for IBS and Gurd but I never eat at a specific time so like idk )

1 weekly(I constantly forget that one )

And I have one I take at random (when I have a panic attack )

And one every 3 months( this one is the hardest one to remember and it's only if I don't have a period )

I don’t know if this is common in our world or not, but for me, friendships have been particularly difficult to manage.

I find that most neurotypical people I’ve attempted friendships with have a vastly different expectation on how close we should be as friends… they seem to expect me to be “on” for them, on-demand. Those friendships have all fizzled out over time… some subtly and others spectacularly.

I simply don’t need (and am frankly allergic to) that kind of “connection.” I’m strongly averse to neediness in relationships. It doesn’t feel real and genuine to me. It just feels sticky.

That said, I refuse to believe that “my kind of tribe” can’t exist, we just have to find each other. And so, my question is:

If social media was trustworthy (ie, didn’t exploit your attention for ad money), understood and advocated for your individual (not stereotypical) AuDHD needs, and actually existed to get you offline and humaning with other humans, how would your life and relationships be better?

Thanks in advance for considering and discussing. I think I want to build a startup in this space, but am keen on getting real-life insight first to see if it’s not “just me.”

My favorite headphones broke. 😭 I need recommendations for over the ear headphones that have large open padding section over the ear and do a decent job of noise cancellation. The ones I had fit completely over my ears with room to spare and had thick padding so it wasn’t squishing my ears. Any recommendations?

Hello,

I am new to AUDHD diagnosis,share with me what helped you the most to function.

Aswell any tips to find love/husband as AUDHD- would you choose NT or ND men ?

❤️

It's like I'm about to do the laundry and suddenly remembering that I absolutely MUST reorganize my spice rack right this second. Or researching the perfect dog shampoo even though I don't own a dog. The sheer amount of effort I put into avoiding things is truly astounding.

TL:DR; Black and white and all or nothing thinking with dysfunctional parents - how do you help and be with them and also not emotionally kill yourself, or just cut them off forever?

I am 22F and I was diagnosed with autism and then adhd through the NHS right to choose system about 5 and 8 months ago respectively. It's all a lot!

Anyway, as many of us do I struggle with some black and white thinking when it comes to some people. Especially people I am not close with, they might do something I don't like and think is wrong and I'm just like yep that's it, I don't like them, they're a Bad Person (but not that extreme.. also this sounds pretty cruel now I'm writing it down).

Anyway, some people are immune, like my long term boyfriend (22M, 4 years together and been living in the same vicinity pretty much our whole relationship - also I live with his parents because I got a job in the area while I save for Masters and they offered - he is not living at theirs during term time because he is just finishing his Masters this academic year). I can recognise his flaws and not think he's bad. But there are other people I can recognise have flaws but they fundamentally have values that are similar to mine and I'm like yeah I understand that. I think it's that if I cannot understand or excuse their actions then I'm like yep they are not great and we can't be friends (but that is probably because friends?? what is that?? with all or nothing thinking it is hard to have a friend that you don't tell everything to? or that you don't trust?)

An example to demonstrate this, is there is a girl who I was friends with and she has a history of being a bit flake-y (suddenly 'we're bestiesss!!' girl no we're not that close and you do that with 3 people consecutively in as many months) and duplicitous but in a kind of 'Whaaaat? I didn't knowww?' way. Anyway, I thought she was maturing and not like that as much and I was like you know what, she is kind of sweet, and I was like ok we're friends (I think). We kind of grew apart (but were living in the same dorm / corridor) and anyway she basically outright deceived me - lied because she didn't want me to know something (even though I was inevitably going to find out) and just thought that was ok? and it was this whole thing with lots of people and I cba, it was a dramatic moment, when a bunch of girls are living together and there's inevitable drama that I was somehow the centre of?? but I didn't know how?? anyway. after that, particularly the process of going hmm, I'm not sure how she's going to react (I was trying to plan something for this girl's bday but there was something already planned, I just wasn't invited) and so she was like I'll just lie and say nothing is happening. I just cannot justify that in my head? If she thinks that is ok, what else is ok? I just could not trust her.

Anyway, that is kind of black and white thinking because, in reality, if I saw her, I would still be nice and civil and make small talk and she is quite sweet, I am just very aggressively like no she is Not A Nice Person in my head, it's so weird.

ANYWAY, that is not what this post is about - omds I see why posts on this sub are so long because we all feel the need to give ALL the context. This thinking has got me into some emotional issues with my parents.

My dad has MND which was diagnosed like a year and a half ago, so he is slowly dying, it's degenerative. He got diagnosed because of how slurred his speech was getting. Now his mobility is going and he uses a walker or a chair and has those motorised chairs at home and recently a motorised / hospital bed. I have not recently seen him walk unaided and he can do basic self care and make himself a meal or a coffee / tea but he does not do much anymore.

He's written an amazing trilogy that is self-published on amazon which is sword and sorcery vibes and it is actually really good. I have read the first two and it is amazing. DM if you're interested and I'll let you know what it's called lol.

My dad (71M) is married to my mum (52F)... yes you read that right, both of their first marriages. He never wanted to get married etc and didn't want kids etc.

OMDS I Need to get to the point.

My parents are actually kind of crap.

I have only realised that recently. They would tell me that they are great parents and that our family is better than all the others and we're all happy and it's perfect. And I would believe them, because of the autism? I just assumed I was unhappy growing up because I was a problem. I also have a sister (15F)... she is also stuck in the middle of this but not autistic (at least not at all in the way I am) and as soon as she was not idk a small child, realised it was bs.

Various reasons caused me to start to realise that my mum was very problematic and I really really struggled with this concept because she was perfect and never made mistakes? At least that she told me / showed me... how could she be flawed?
My boyfriend witnessing my family from the inside made me realise I was not going insane and had been my whole childhood.. and also a lecture on narcissism which made me realise that my mum had some of those tendencies, more for everything to be to what she thought it should be (even to the detriment of my sister's and my wellbeing) rather than to her as the centre of attention (her role is loving mother and thus she cannot be flawed (in her head)). Somehow, (although it's been so long it's starting to sound less absurd) she made my dad getting a terminal diagnosis about herself. Everything is about her and how it affects her.

Anyway, that was causing me so so much emotional turmoil as I tried to have these co-existing ideas of my mum.

We then found out this summer that she cheated on my dad! In Jan, and remained in contact (secretly) with him until I told her I *had to talk to her about something urgently..*!! which was for 6 months!! She is also the victim of this btw - I explained I was finding it hard to reconciliate the way she presents herself as flawless and never making a mistake to me (and my sister) (she admits she does this and that it was to try to teach us how to be / be a good role model - um no!! Now I just think I am a failure if I make a mistake and don't know how to recover from it) and this (continued) action / choice. And she was like, you know, so am I, I just can't believe I did that, it just doesn't feel like it was me, like it was someone else. Afterwards, I was like wow, she managed to actually play the victim of herself??

Ok so, that forced me to confront that no way all those times they said they were the perfect family, they were.

I had such complex feelings about this because my dad does suck and was, for example, not involved in my parenting when I was a child and literally has no relationship with my sister (they live together?? with my mum??)
The only reason my dad and I get on is because when I was 12 my secondary school best friend's dad killed himself and spoke about wishing to be able to remember every conversation with her dad. It made me really connect with my dad and ask him questions and listen to him talk (and he could talk, and it would be fascinating and filled with facts - whether accurate or not is another matter).

I realised when everything happened with my mum (and I had a very clear reason to step away which I really needed to and wanted to) that I was the only one in my family who actually got on with everyone. All of them talk to me about their issues and problems and things going on, but not one of them talks to the other two as well, if that makes sense. I was holding them together. Even before this, since I moved out to go to uni at 18, (only being home for max a month once a year, and a couple weeks here and there else where) I was so explicitly aware how I fell into the oldest daughter family therapist trope...

Anyway, my mum is Struggling. My dad is obsessed with control, thinks money can fix things and produce happiness and also has his certain ways of doing things and it very manipulative emotionally (and financially maybe idek). My mum, also emotionally manipulative but also she does seem slightly more of the victim because she's been killing herself trying to hold the relationship together and 'smooth it over' which did not, as she hoped, preclude my sister and I from experiencing the repercussions of their sucky marriage but just meant no problems were resolved. She did not handle it in the best way. But also what was the right way?? She was 21 when they got together, had never lived alone before that and they got married when she was 25 after one year of her working. She would have looked up to him as a more experienced person. And has tried to be 'good' for the sake of a perfect family (... to the detriment of her family) but he has not tried!!! He cannot ever accept he made a mistake in a meaningful way.

Anyway, my dad planned a trip away which him, my boyfriend, and me. It was pretty horrendously planned and I realised how much he actually just does not care and chooses not to see his impacts on others. And it was intense for both my boyfriend and I (over 4 days we did collectively 26+hrs driving - it was a 4 day holiday), my dad did not drive (he can still but he didn't see the point since we could, idk really).

Anyway, I am very emotionally drained and kept getting quite emotional and overwhelmed because I was confused how my dad could be so lovely in what he said did and also so inconsiderate and quite a d*ck actually a lot of the time. And realising none of this is new or because of the illness because he was like this before! I just glossed over it because my mum did too and he would say things like 'I'm a good dad, aren't I?', 'I'm not the worst dad, right?' and he believes he is because his dad never told him he loved him, but he has told me he loves me.

I just am struggling to get it. How is he my dad that I love and does care about me, but also doesn't? How does my mum love me more than I can understand and yet doesn't 'see' me or actually prioritise my wellbeing over what she thinks her family should be like?

My boyfriend was going well I know he's not a good father / husband... even person but also I can get on with him and he is nice, he is also unreasonable. I just can't seem to hold that all in my head. I said yes but he's not your dad so you can separate yourself from it but I am right in the emotional trenches with this! And he is right btw (i may have phrased what he said in a way that does not do it justice) and I think sometimes on the internet we struggle to see ppl as more than good or bad. I cannot just condemn my dying father. Or my overwhelmed mother. But I cannot be as emotionally invested in them as I am and have been because it will kill me.

Has anyone else felt this intense overwhelm / panic over people being someone you love and need to be there for and also want to be there for but also affect you and others negatively and it is just a lot!!!

also just a note, this is super weird and raw and probably too much to share online and also I expected this to be a lot shorter. I just thought that I know this is autism causing the panic / intense overwhelm and stress with complex feelings about someone. I really struggle to hold a contradiction or conflicting ideas in my head without a solid explanation. AAAA please lmk what you think and be kind!

i just got diagnosed with cptsd (besides autism and adhd and anxiety and depression) as a 23 year old woman.

ever since i was a child, i have always felt different, broken and deeply lonely. i always tried to change, ive tried everything, masking when i was little, changing the way i look, even plastic surgery but everything always failed. now as a 23 year old university student, i feel like im in the wrong place, with the wrong people (even tho some of those people in my class are queer, mostly alternative women and all that so i should feel like i belong right?)

i feel like cptsd may be like a spreading disease, the longer i feel this way and get more triggered, the more likely i am going to end up in the point where everything would remind me of those traumatic series of events. it started to feel like some episode where all i can think about is "i will always be alone, i always do everything wrong, there is somethig wrong with me, i want to make friend but no one wants me, i dont deserve them"

the way people talk, the tone of their voice, their gaze, i get super sensitive when it comes to all that and i overthink whether i did something wrong and try to fit in at all cost

when i stopped trying like joining that group from my class that smokes in front of that building, i just became truly alone this time, and no one tried to stay in touch i just want to belong to some community, idk somewhere i could feel okay. but i shouldnt care this much since many times they showed they dont care about me like last year in our group, everyone drew names for a secret Santa, and i was the only one who didnt receive any gift, but honestly its just one of the examples, they made me feel uncomfortable so many times and triggered me to my limits