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u/RemarkableCover7462 1d ago
Finance bro
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u/Collin-of-Earth 1d ago
do finance bros read about finance and stuff?
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u/Remarkable-Rush-9085 1d ago
I assume he doesnāt read books, he just reads online articles about finance stuff.
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u/haleorshine 22h ago
There's a whole industry of finance books that are incredibly dumb that I could believe he reads. I would be incredibly unshocked if he read those financial advice books where the key advice is fraud.
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u/burtonmanor47 1d ago
Even audiobooks would be giving bro too much credit.
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u/Ok_Consideration853 21h ago
Audiobooks and regular books count the same. Lots of people canāt read with their eyes. This man is too dumb to read with his brain. Different story.
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u/Zanna1120 1d ago
No doubt in my mind that bro has ever cracked a book. It's just a segue for him to talk about how rich he is.
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u/PandaNaps88 1d ago
Everyoneās missing the point. It doesnāt matter if heās right or not, what an inappropriate and condescending thing to say to someone you havenāt even met yet and are hoping to date.
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u/PralinePecanPie 19h ago
I think whether heās right or not does matter a little bit considering how heās just straight up wrong and definitely following the recent misogynistic twitter rhetoric thatās meant to shame women for reading. I see it all the time now over there
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u/reedyxxbug 18h ago
It's not only sexist, but applying your opinion about some banal misogyny discourse to a statement such as "I like to read" automatically demonstrates that you're way too fucking online.
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u/I_upvote_downvotes 17h ago
It's because he doesn't read anything and feels defensive. Knowing women tend to read more on average he's probably perfected his art of belittling them while also explaining away his chudly reading habits.
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u/Either-Tangelo-6246 1d ago
Is it implying romance books are for women and porn is for men?
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u/Nicole-NB 1d ago
No, romance books are porn for women, porn is porn for beta men, and "non-fiction stuff about finance" is porn for alpha men.
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u/Crunchyjeff 23h ago
No it'S about porn for men being disgusting vile pornography, while porn for women is "literature"
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u/JellybeanJuggler21 1d ago
why do people think being an insufferable asshole is an attractive quality to have? what kind of response was he even expecting?
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u/allegedlydm 13h ago
He was hoping sheād be the kind of person who would make herself smaller if he mocked her and that if she wasnāt sheād at least be dtf enough to segue into porn.Ā
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u/multipocalypse 1d ago
He just wanted to make the convo about sex
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u/WolIilifo013491i1l 20h ago
Yea that's what I thought, he was just awkwardly crowbaring in some sexual reference. Probably doesn't have much of an opinion of romance novels at all
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u/annee1103 1d ago
Good that he showed who he is truly is this early on. Saved you a lot of wasted time OP
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u/mclovin_ts 22h ago
This reminds me of that scene in Dodgeball, when Goodman comes down the stairs pretending to read the dictionary
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u/Medium_Educator1983 1d ago
Zero social skills. You donāt talk about porn in an initial conversation with someone.
Block him and move on.
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u/kyl_r 1d ago
The venn diagram of reading for fun and reading for education is a circle for this guy, huh
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u/Papplenoose 12h ago
I mean they actually ARE overlapping for me, but thats because I consider learning to be very enjoyable :)
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u/Random_Person_246810 1d ago
That was his segue to talk about actual porn.
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u/esahcy24411 1d ago
This is how I interpreted his comment too. Seems to me heās trying to gauge how OP feels about porn as I canāt imagine someone asking such a pointed question about romance novels otherwise.
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u/That1DogGuy 1d ago
Lmfao what the fuck does that even mean š
As much as dating apps suck, I did meet my wife on Hinge so like. There are some diamonds at least, just gotta sift through a lot of shit lmao
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u/SiteNo6788 1d ago
The thing is, even if it is or isn't, what a dumb thing to say off the rip on a dating app.
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u/Soft-Poetry8701 18h ago
The romance novel category is so vast and varied that a generic statement like this does come off as unhinged. If youāre talking about sexually explicit romance novels, then yes, that is equivalent to porn. If youāre talking about something like Pride and Prejudice or Twilight youāre out of your mind (I donāt care how stupid you think the books are, they are not pornographic).
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u/Flat_Transition_3775 1d ago
I think heās generalizing all of romance novels which I do agree that the ones with smut are not my cup of tea but I also read romance novels that are clean romcom type of books that has no smut. So him generalizing is dumb
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u/NinaNeptune318 1d ago
If you understand he isn't using the word "porn" as a direct one-to-one stand-in for literal pornography, his point isn't half-bad. Because he's ultimately alluding to the idea that women prefer storylines to the sexual content they enjoy.
But taken in the context of dating app conversations and them being literal strangers discussing interests, this is a HUGE rhetorical red flag and she should immediately block him.
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u/Jelnaana 1d ago
Exactly. He's not looking for intellectual discussion, he's trying to steer the conversation to sex.
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u/NinaNeptune318 1d ago
99 times out of 100, yes, and as a woman on a dating app? PLEASE waste someone else's time. I have plenty of options. XXXXXXXXXXXXX
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u/thelostandlonely 22h ago
Is he really alluding to something? Or is he just the type of guy who will go: "Well, you read romance books sometimes, so that gives me permision to watch naked women as much as I want?"
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u/Ill_Morning_4282 16h ago
He doesn't have a point, he is just being misogynistic and putting down a genre that mostly women read.
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u/Adventurous-Brain-36 23h ago
Calling books with a few sex scenes āsmutā is derivative and disingenuous when you wouldnāt call Game of Thrones the same thing.
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u/strangestatesofbeing 1d ago
Why is it so hard for men to read fiction? It could improve their ability to empathize with others. I wish more did.
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u/JaySpectres 1d ago
It's not uncommon. Two thirds of male readers read fiction. Women do read it more, and I agree more men should read it, but the idea that men in general only read non fiction is just not true
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u/Common_Vagrant 1d ago
Iāve never heard of this? Iāve read the Witcher, a few mangas, Gears of War books, etc. Iāve never heard a dude say he doesnāt read fiction, except for the one that commented to you lol. Shit I think the only nonfiction book I read was Diary of A Madman and that was an autobiography of ScarFace, but fiction for me beats out nonfiction.
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u/Utriballl 1d ago
This sounds like an issue in your own circle. There is not a man in my entire group of friends that doesn't read fiction
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u/Crunchyjeff 23h ago
WTF? Men read loads of fiction? And get bullied for it?
Science FICTION is one of the most popular Male Genres?
And Fantasy is also extremely popular among men?
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u/wr_dnd 20h ago
There are obviously lots of guys still reading fiction. But there are is also a subset of men who only read nonfiction self-help financial type books. That subset is pretty vocal (and much larger than I would like)
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u/immaownyou 19h ago
And there is also a subset of women who only read self-help nonfiction. What's your point? There'd a subset for everything
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u/ausmed 19h ago
It's only my experience but I've found that a lot of men who emphasise that they're only interested in non-fiction tend to have a bit of an attitude about it. Specifically that they think what they read is 'better' or 'more serious' than the silly fiction that women read.Ā
I'm not talking about every man who reads more non-fiction than fiction. Just the ones who make a point of telling you they only read non-fiction.Ā
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u/MarshelG 1d ago
All I read is fiction, this is the first I'm hearing that my gender doesn't read it
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u/strangestatesofbeing 1d ago
The NYT did an article on this. Idk how widespread it is, but itās wild how many men Iāve met in the wild that donāt read or maybe only read a non-fiction now and then.
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u/MarshelG 1d ago
I used to read non stop through middle school. I mostly consume audiobooks now I hope that counts. Reading actual books puts me to sleep so fast. I like having it read to me while I drive or work
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u/Doctor_Fritz 23h ago edited 19h ago
After being introduced to the acotar series by a romantic interest of mine, I ended up listening to them on an app cause I don't have the patience to actually read books (I have audhd). I came to realize that the character of the men in these books are the true fantasy of the women that wrote them, not necessarily their amazing physique (even though that doesn't hurt I bet), as their physique is often tied to who they are as a person.
Ironically, men seem to focus on the sex scenes but they fail to realize that the men in the books are emotionally stable Anchors for the female protagonists who feel broken or weak, forced to hide their true selves or held back by men in the world they reside in.
Cue the male counterpart. A man who sometimes doesn't seem to even like the female protagonist at first but gives her the benefit of the doubt and challenges her rather than going along with her self portrayed idea of being unworthy or weak. Ends up liking her despite the 'flaws' she sees in herself. Ends up being a stable anchor in her life. Doesn't rescue her but guides her on a path that makes her discover her true self and power. Doesn't hold her hand but lets her battle it out by her self, and when she falls he doesn't pick her up but only stands next to her with a hand held out. She decides whether she takes it or not. He leaves her the choices she was always denied. He does protect her when he realises she's in over her head but doesn't belittle her for it.
The truth is that men forgot how to be such a type of partner for women. That's the true fantasy. A female reader connects to the protagonist in her longing for such a person. The rest is dress up. It's nice to live the story where the female protagonist finds herself and then ends up in a sensual relationship with a wonderful man. The sexual scenes adds the cherry on top.
I personally took a look at myself and how I lived my life and it changed me for the better. I thanked her for this. Should have seen her face when I told her about this realization. She was in shock lol
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u/Nervous-History8631 18h ago
The fictionalised male characters in these books often don't reflect the real world problems men have. I'm not saying the characters don't have any issues but the issues these fictonal characters have are ones that are 'solved' through a 15 minute emotional conversation.
This ties back to the problem that women in relationships don't actually want men because they don't want to put effort into supporting those men, they want fictional entities with no issues or at least issues they can easily 'fix'. They want someone that is putting in constant effort for them while their side is essentially effortless.
Men have their own issues and often need support, but women often fail at being able to provide the support that is needed instead falling back on crutches of psycology concepts that were primarilly built on how women act and think.
These books present one dimensional men, that are simoultaneously psycic (knowing exactly what she is thinking at all times), have a genius level EQ that is unrealistic in all of humanity, and live only for them.
Now fun fact, this is incredibly similar criticism to the criticism of one dimensional female characters in male written books and shows. Because it turns out women are just as bad at writing men as the other way around.
Men never 'forgot' how to be a good partner for women. Both genders stopped supporting each other, and this is the logical conclusion. These books reinforce negative stereotypes that women are the prize, and ultimately that is quite harmful
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u/Alarmed_Inspector774 1d ago
My dad reads plenty of fiction and has always been an abusive asshole. I do not, and I am not. I don't think choice of literature has a huge effect here, if any.
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u/elgarraz 1d ago
If a person told me one of their favorite authors was Terry Pratchett, I would automatically assume they are an empathetic person with a good sense of humor. It's one of the biggest green flags they could wave me.
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u/PresentationLow2210 1d ago
RIP Pratchett. My Mum and Nan basically raised me in the Discworld lol. They read me so many books when I was younger, and read a more l1couple solo (wish I read more but I was a tech boi).
I don't think I'd be nearly into fiction/fantasy if they didn't.
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u/Chance-Click-3670 1d ago edited 1d ago
the fact that men read tons of fiction is the reason half the big movie/tv franchises out there today exist...
you think it was all girls reading lord of the rings or game of thrones for example? :p and the biggest movie franchise right now, dune. throw in star wars as well.
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u/AnyOldNameNotTaken 17h ago
I read a lot of fiction as a kid and young adult. Not so much for the last 10 years. Not for any reason, just other focuses. Recently decided to start reading novels again. I am finding that the emotional content and dramatic storylines are darkening my mood in a way I didnāt expect and donāt really care for.
I havenāt stopped yet. Going to try some different books and see if I can shake that. Idk.
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u/FarShoreSpirit 1d ago edited 17h ago
I really only feel drawn to reading non-fiction. I'm a woman. And I am incredibly empathetic. I catch and release all bugs. I use natural materials to minimize micro-plastics (every time you wash synthetic materials you're releasing tons of microplastics into the water supply). I was vegetarian for 13 years because animal lives matter. I was a volunteer to feed the homeless every Sunday as a homeless person. I also was a caregiver for the elderly as a homeless person. I even gave other homeless people money when they came up to me on the streets as a homeless person (I didn't look or act homeless, so they didn't know until I told them). I care. A lot. You can be empathetic and intelligent/ logically-attuned.
There is nothing wrong with people reading only non-fiction. I much prefer it from men, actually. I get more than enough fiction aspects in my video games and anime. We don't all need to have the same interests. I'm not at all drawn to brain rot. I've never had a TikTok. In fact, I only have Reddit. I very much dislike reality TV. Unless it's anime, it's nearly impossible for me to enjoy it unless it is historically inclined, like Hell on Wheels, The Last Kingdom, Jamestown, or Sons of Liberty. I cannot get into Game of Thrones because it is fantasy.
Have you read non-fiction? Maybe you'd like it! I vouch for it! That genre does not stop you from having empathy or from being a good person. Just like how fiction doesn't make you a good person. It doesn't matter how empathetic you are if you're a thoroughly ignorant person. If you don't understand how your lifestyle is contributing to the destruction of the planet, for example, you won't know that you need to make changes. You need to know and care about things to be the best version of yourself. ā” So many people love to think that they're good people, but they remain intentionally ignorant. They won't feel a personal responsibility to be better if they don't allow themselves to know anything.
We should always be learning! Always be developing! I support non-fiction reading. I also support a balance of fiction and non-fiction reading. ā”
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u/WannaBeCoder912 8h ago
Nonfiction is a huge category and there is a big difference between self help books, business books, history books/ science pop, biographies etc.
I think folks who substitute fiction for biographies, for example, are filling a similar niche.
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u/Slamaholicc 23h ago
I'm a man, and I only read fiction and autobiographies lol.
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u/doterobcn 21h ago
All my male friends and myself have always been fiction readers...is this like a known stat and we are the weirdos?
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u/Forensic_Fartman1982 1d ago
He does sound boring but the mainstream romance shit today is just porn.
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u/PirateDear1780 1d ago
I mean arent they? I read them too but theyre just smut lol
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u/red_zephyr 1d ago
There has been zero sex scenes in the last 8? romance novels I read.
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u/Accomplished-Ad2736 23h ago
The finance bro from the texts canāt probably say the same. The MCs get fāed by the SEC or something
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u/grannysmithpears 22h ago
Thereās a lot of different types of romance novels, there are some that are entirely smut but not all are. I also donāt think a romance novel happening to contain smut means you should the entire work as just porn without artistic or storytelling merit. Sex is a part of real life and human relationships, so obviously stories about romance are often going to include it, yet people like to reduce those stories to just that as if itās the only thing that matters. I mean think of it this way, the Titanic is ultimately a tragic love story, and it has a famous nude scene. Does that make it a porno?
Aside from that whole debate though, the guy in the image just comes off extremely obnoxious. Heās effectively saying that what he reads, ānonfiction business and finance stuffā, is more worthwhile and intellectual than what OP reads
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u/Impossible_Emotion50 1d ago
No, romance is a pretty wide genre. Theres Christian romance, YA romanceā¦a lot that simply wouldnāt have smut in it.
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u/Toosder 1d ago
I think it's more the derogatory way he phrased it. As if it is less than what he is reading. Or a person who reads it is less than a person who reads nonfiction or other types of books.Ā
Smut still requires imagination, no different than any other fiction. And pretending that nonfiction is better than fiction is just stupid.Ā
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u/Helpful-Creme7959 21h ago
Maybe im neurodivergent as fuck but i dont really see how derogatory it is? Like thats one fuckass word to describe it, maybe him delivering that non-fiction finance business part kinda sounded dick-smug but he has a point on the romance part tho.
Hes not necessarily making a point about fiction, hes making a point about the romance genre and thats a big difference. I really dont fucking see the correlation and implication of fiction between deemed lesser just cuz he specified what he read.
Like-????????????
Edit: Honestly just genuinely think he has a valid real point on the romance part being female porn tho (smut), and theres always this specific flavor of romance thats catered to female imagination and thats not degoratory to admit. Im a female and I know females who gush over crap like that.
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u/clericone- 19h ago
He does have a valid point. OP just got her feelings hurt because she probably isn't mature enough to openly admit she likes porn.
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u/howigotmyname 16h ago
Youāre on Reddit where ppl read one thing and make up 1000 assumptions. Yes, his ānonfiction business readingā sounds lame. His other point doesnāt mean that heās talking down about it just because a Redditor got offended.
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u/scoldmeforcommenting 1d ago
I read smut. I read nonfiction. I read fiction that is not smut. Smut is porn and thatās ok. Itās entertainment and a nice escape from reality. Judging someoneās character or finding them less than for reading it is not ok. But Iām not gonna lie to myself and say that as a genre, itās on par with nonfiction or other books when it comes to stimulating the mind
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u/xxasthurr 23h ago
no, no theyāre not. you read specifically smut, thatās not the entirety of the romance genre
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u/Zenki_s14 22h ago
They don't even really make good porn for women anyways, who cares if they read some books lmao
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u/Sierra-117- 21h ago
Sure, but itās still a weird thing to say on a dating app. Not the situation to say this. Itās a red flag imo, even as a guy who agrees with him overall.
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u/2022_Yooda 23h ago
Not a very smart thing to say but also wouldn't run to tell the internet. I'd be more turned off by the 'business and finance' stuff than the failed joke.
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u/DiscotopiaACNH 15h ago
What is it with these straight men who are so obsessed with the fact that women read romantasy that they have to bring it up anytime they discuss books with a woman
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u/ChickinSammich 17h ago
"Feminine porn"
1) Is the implication that men can't/don't/shouldn't read romance novels?
2) Is the implication that videos/pictures are "masculine porn?"
3) If someone transitions from male to female or female to male, do they have to change their smut so they're only partaking in the appropriate gender affirming porn?
This is dumb on multiple levels.
Edit: Are hentai VNs feminine porn because you have to read or masculine porn because you have pictures? Are they both/neither?
Edit 2: What about hentai manga? What if I watch a porn video but I have it muted and there are subtitles? What about an audiobook? I have so many questions for this specimen of a man about how to categorize porn based on the presentation.
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u/Exotic_Banana9016 16h ago
He clearly does not read any kind of fiction, also likes to spit chewed up nonsense coments about what he does not know anything about, just heard that and thought it was funny to generelize.
yeah your ''what a dumb thing to say'' sums it all and does not waste any extra energy here, good for you.
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u/Sufficient-Berry-827 1d ago
Wholesome romance novels exist. But if he's talking about smut, "spicy" novels, and dark romance -- yeah, he's right. It's erotic literature and considered porn if it's explicit.
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u/Least_Bread_1817 1d ago
Looks at the Milking Farm book No, no. He's got a point
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u/nocuzzlikeyea13 1d ago
Some romance books are porn, some have porn, some have no porn. It's a huge genre.
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u/haleorshine 22h ago
Yeah, it's literally the biggest, most lucrative genre in books, and people still boil it down to the worst examples they can find, probably because they're mostly written for and by women.
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u/Hot_Nerve9201 20h ago
Thatās like saying all anime for men are pedophiliac bc mushoku tensei exist
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u/Wonderful-Ad231 1d ago
All I know is that whenever my wife goes upstairs to read her āvampireā ,āwerewolfā or āfairieā books, we are having at least a quickie as soon as that book closes.
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u/AbbreviationsAny9759 1d ago
As a guy that's read a fair amount of romance, no, romance novels are not feminine porn...
That's smut dude.
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u/Daemonforged 1d ago
Not all great fictions have romance, but some great fictions are even greater with a well written romance. Doesn't make it porn for females, it's just a wildly boyish statement to make from an immature person.
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u/WolfyHopeless 17h ago
Iām just trying to hike and fall in love while also fucking like a jackrabbit
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u/Chemical_Lab7583 15h ago
Itās weird to sexualize a hobby of someone you barely know. Do people not have any social graces at all? Like you meet someone at a party and they say they like anime, would you start about hentai and gooner slop? Or someone says they like massages and you say they probably go to the happy ending spas?
Heās also just putting down her hobby with the ācan we agreeā part, like what if she said ācan we agree most books on finance and business are just masculine self help booksā?
Assuming a non-sexual meaning for someone elseās interest is probably a good standard.
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u/Thin-Wrongdoer-8488 15h ago
I hate guys like this cuz they ruin the perception of other men ffs what an airhead
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u/Gristle_McThornbody- 1d ago edited 1d ago
I mean generally speaking, hes correct, almost every romance novel my wife and exes got into is essentially smut, at least the recently written ones are.
Edit: i dont feel like responding to everyone, watching/reading porn isnt bad, just saying its kinda silly to deny that the majority of female directed romance novels arent porn lol
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u/udcvr 1d ago
Your wife is just reading smutty romance, there's tons of romance novels that are not just porn lol. Romantasy in particular is really popular these days and authors are churning out porny books like hotcakes, but less sexual romance is still very much a genre. Nothing wrong with enjoying any of it ofc but cmon now, they're reading porn. Doesn't mean every romance is porn.
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u/happiestnexttoyou 1d ago
So your wife and exes were into smut. Thats totally fine, but there are plenty of āromance novelsā that donāt include sex at all, let alone graphic portrays.
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u/Impressive-Hair2704 1d ago
When you first met her, did you bring up porn in the first few messages/things you said to her? OP says she reads anything if it sounds good and he replies talking about porn.
Itās like if your now wife on your first date said she like all genres of movies if the plot/script is good and you responded with asking her about pornos.Ā
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u/momsaidnotv 1d ago
Have you ever watched a movie with full frontal nudity? Are we finna start calling that porn now- or is only for female oriented media that were all suddenly childish prudes?Ā
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u/Dry-Wolf6789 1d ago
Why is any porn being labelled feminine though. So dumb. Its just porn.Ā
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u/sharb2485 1d ago
I'm almost certain that this DMer has no concept of this, but there are differences in how women and men are typically aroused and the amount of appeal that this format has vs a PornHub video (in general, obviously genders are not monoliths)
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u/the_girly_files 1d ago
I think thereās better ways to get porn than reading a whole novel. If women wanted porn theyād watch porn. Kinda silly to generalize
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u/BumbleBearrrr 20h ago
But he's right.... ?... ?...
- owner of 100+ romance novels
It's 4am if I feel whimsy I'll post bookshelf tomorrow of hand me down smut from maw-maw
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u/Final_Replacement_37 17h ago
OP said that she reads fantasy, scifi and romance novels and is clearly trying to connect on a shared love of reading. Instead of connecting, heās minimizing and laughing at the genre that she already said were her favorite.
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u/drawingishard__888 18h ago
Thereās a difference between Eroticas, ācleanā romances and romance novels that include a couple of sex scenes. Lets not confuse them.
Owner of 100+ romantic novels here. Some incl sex, some donāt. You may predominantly read eroticas, which there is nothing wrong with. But thereās plenty of popular, sweet romantic clean/semi-clean novels (not that sex scenes automatically make them less romantic or sweet). My fave currently is The bell of bellgrave square by Mimi Matthews (actually, anything Mimi Matthews. All her books are great and ācleanā too)
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u/TraditionalCap6882 17h ago
Itās also the way that he already puts his āmasculineā reading interest inherently above āfeminineā reading. Heās dog whistling misogyny.
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u/TheRiverTybur 1d ago
I hate when people say they love reading but it's just nonfiction ... I am AN ENGLISH MAJOR
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u/greenyashiro 1d ago
Not sure what your point here is? You can prefer a specific genre and still love to read.
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u/FarShoreSpirit 1d ago
What's wrong with non-fiction? I'm the history and learning type of nerdy, not the fantasy and sci-fi kind. š¤Ø
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u/codelyoko_x 1d ago
Same, itās a chore to get through a non fiction book but give me a book about nerd shit and Iām all up in there
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u/CataChronix 1d ago
Iād argue this is more enjoying learning as a hobby than reading as a hobby.
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u/twotwotwototoulouse 1d ago edited 22h ago
Thereās nothing wrong with non-fiction, but this exact screenshot highlights the sort of high-horse grandstanding that often comes from people who ONLY read non-fiction.
I am a reader (also an English major.) I love non-fiction. But I also love fiction. Itās all good and one isnāt better than the other. But there is definitely a subset of non-fiction readers (primarily men in my experience) who like to view themselves as better than bc they read only non-fiction.
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u/OnlyANerdUsesReddit 1d ago
Nonfiction goes so hard though :(
Check out Jessica Trounstine's book called Segregation by Design, best book I've read this year.
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u/Nataliant-117 1d ago
š¤ listed thank you thatās why non fic is my favorite topic. Politicize yourself, peoples!
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u/Big_Blue420 1d ago
Fiction can be an incredibly useful tool for political allegories, some of the most well acclaimed books in fiction are built to be conversations about politics.
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u/OnlyANerdUsesReddit 12h ago
Another good one is "Race for Profit: How Banks and the Real Estate Industry Undermined Black Homeownership" by Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor
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u/TheRiverTybur 1d ago
I also love a lot of non fiction. I wasn't trying to say my was bad to love it. Why I'm annoyed is that it feels very misleading to say you enjoy reading as a hobby in a dating profile, when you ONLY read non fiction. It would be a lot more clear to say, for example if you read about history or psychology, to just say you are into those things, because saying you enjoy reading implies fiction. Because I spend so much time analyzing media and literature I personally get disappointed when I encounter the sort of situation in the screenshot. I also feel a lot of people say the only like non fiction to sound smart.Ā
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u/ImhotepsServant 23h ago
I donāt trust people who donāt read fiction. They either lack imagination or empathy.
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u/laszlopanaflexvagyok 23h ago
I think a friend of mine dated this guy, he turned out to be a complete psycho.
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u/Norman_CockweII 23h ago
lol. Classic dude bro just reading finance porn. Two sides of the same coin. So basic
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u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 21h ago
So many people match just to insult others. They really got nothing better to do.
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u/Osiris1998 21h ago
Smut is literary porn, romance would be slightly less descriptive I believe lol.
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u/nounadjectiveadverb 21h ago
when you find the person that thought 50 shades was how it would actually be šš
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u/No-Warning5421 21h ago
Saying that right after you tell him you read romance is weird and purposely provoking. I bet this douchebag buys into those bs āIām a 19 year old millionaire, buy the course in my bio to find out how to do the sameā scams
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u/Beautiful-Place-3695 20h ago
I am a finance bro who trades options and who actually makes 6 figures working as a financial consultant- I read and write erotic fiction. I want to stab out my own eyes in my cube every day. Porn and feminine romance is literally the only thing that males me feel alive. Yes, I need help, but I fear this dude needs more help - or perhaps is a bot. (What a dumb thing for me to say) .
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u/brianwithaneye16 15h ago
Also he mostly reads finance and business? Boring, lame, and predictable tbh
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u/MasticatingSheep 15h ago
Business and finance books are just porn for people who would join an MLM.
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u/Reasonable_Club_6165 14h ago
No, because porn and erotica are different things. Porn is specifically images.
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u/PsychologicalBag0409 9h ago
I would just ask him what he means by "feminine porn" and watch him flounder
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u/Brechtian_ 1d ago
I'm a librarian, I see these books all day everyday. They are porn lol. That's okay, it's a hell of a lot less harmful than what the porn industry does. And they're also mostly read by women. Just like how finance and business bs books are usually read by insufferable finance bros.
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u/NinaNeptune318 1d ago
As a conversation on the wilds of the internet, it's a perfectly reasonable talking point. As a conversation on a dating app, this is a rhetorical red flag and someone you'd definitely want to avoid!
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u/Baseball_Germany 23h ago
A lot of people proving your exact point in this comment section.
Itās a worthwhile discussion to chat about in a discussion thread or something, there are a lot of similarities in how the two things are used and itās interesting to analyze the reasons for this phenomenon (stuff like how the porn industry tends to cater to what men want vs women, how many romance novels are absolute slop churned out because itās āerotic,ā what cultures deem legitimate āreadingā and literature, etc.) Itās a conversation worth having.
But bringing this up on a dating app presumably pretty early on is a massive red flag. Being extremely bothered by this and being angry about it is a red flag. The way some people choose to have that discussion reeks of toxicity lingering behind the surface.
Great, great point.
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u/Administrative_Cry_9 1d ago
Well, I am definitely not an expert because I completely avoid dating apps, but I would never treat a dating app experience any different than I would any other interaction I have in the wilds lol. Is everyone acting differently on the apps to make themselves appear more pleasant than they usually are? Is it the norm or just accepted because it's expected?
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u/NinaNeptune318 1d ago
You ask a great question!
Turns out, I have the answer. There are two parts, and this is about heterosexual dating (and maybe better defined as male-female dating because bi people exist) in general.
One, in the wilds, you have as equal a chance to encounter women as you do men as the population is roughly equal, but on dating apps, the demographics are highly skewed in women's favor. Add this to other variables that also skew things to be more in favor of women being absolutely inundated with attention from men on the apps, this allows women to be extremely picky.
Two, rhetoric can be applied to both in-person dating conversation/texts and online dating profiles/bios, conversation, and texts, it's just much easier to analyze written rhetorical patterns for the fact they are written down and when analyzing the profiles, it's all about adding the context of why and how they say and phrase things. Analyzing this isn't exclusive to men, either.
So when you add both of those together, you learn that men tend to show their own set of certain rhetorical patterns that are overwhelming associated with toxic behavior, and since women have seemingly infinite men to choose from on the app and limited time to date them all, identifying men who are essentially telling on themselves and not wasting any time dating them to find out whether or not you are right makes your odds better of finding one of all the great men out there amongst the vast sea of app users that are toxic. Men who bring up sexual topics this early are showing a specific rhetorical pattern, especially when it comes to texting and especially when all they are doing is sharing base level interests. These are complete strangers, and usually even in person, it doesn't go over well to start talking to/flirting with a woman by bringing up porn or sex.
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u/Nicole-NB 1d ago
"Non-fiction stuff about business and finance" is exactly how people who are financial experts describe what they read, so he is definitely 100% absolutely legit.