r/texts • u/DimensionThin147 • 1d ago
Phone message Text I've sent to my mom whose passed away
God I would give anything to see her again
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u/_DontBeAScaredyCunt 1d ago
Just know that one day someone may answer back who gets that number as a new number. I recommend deleting the number from your phone before that happens. Thats what happened when my best friends number texted me back. I nearly had a heart attack seeing her name and photo pop up on my phone.
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u/accountantcantcount 1d ago
Tbh if I had the receiving number, I would just mute/hide alerts. It’s not for me to read and it would let the other person continue texting the number. Don’t see what the big deal is for other people. I get that it could be a scam but usually scammers have patterns that you can differentiate
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u/lilaccosmoslove 1d ago
that must’ve been such a heartbreaking shock. grief is hard enough without getting a message like that unexpectedly
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u/DimensionThin147 1d ago
What did they say
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u/namyllej 1d ago
Someone texts my phone like this every now and then. I got my phone number 15 years ago. I read them but I never answer. The girl enabled rcs several years ago so she knows I read them. I just never answer but acknowledge her existence by reading them.
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u/DimensionThin147 1d ago
Thats honestly amazing thank you for doing that
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u/GreenEmergency1752 1d ago
Did you ever see this story?
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u/DimensionThin147 1d ago
Thats amazing
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u/GreenEmergency1752 1d ago
Yeah, it warmed my heart. Not too dissimilar to this but when my son got his first phone the number we got with it was recycled. We kept getting texts from his doctors reminding him to come in for check ups and stuff. Felt quite sad that he has likely passed away.
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u/Fxg120xYXDE5 16h ago
So...my wife died February of 2020.
Very suddenly.
We were talking and eating breakfast together, I went to work and clocked in at 11:00 am, and I got one of the worst phone calls of my life by 02:00 pm.
We had talked on the phone about 25 minutes before that.
There's a lot I could say, but this ultimately isn't about me as much as it's about explaining that I understand, at least to an extent.
The thing is, I'm not really a talker.
I'm not good at opening up or being vulnerable.
But we could talk for hours about anything.
Through gaming together, movies and TV, music, hiking, camping, road tripping.
She really brought out the best in me.
So when she was gone, and I was in pain, I had lost both my wife and my best friend.
Basically my therapist, by that point.
I had no choice but to work, because death isn't cheap and we were already struggling to keep up financially heading into COVID shutdowns as it was.
I was strong at work.
It was a community of only about 4000 people, so nearly everyone knew her and everyone had heard what happened.
But when I got home, I would just climb into the shower, turn it on, and cry.
Honestly, it wasn't even crying, it was straight up sobbing.
I was just utterly broken.
There was a degree of darkness in my psyche that I'm surprised I survived.
One of the only outlets I had was her phone number.
For a solid year I still texted her, still called her and left voice-mail.
Despite spending a chunk of that year homeless, I'd still scrape money together for both of our phone cards so I could still 'stay in touch' with her.
I think doing so is the only reason I'm still here.
I don't share this for pity, what's left of me is a distant asshole and I don't really deserve it anyways because I truly believe the better half of who I'm meant to be is gone.
My point is to say, I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry you're having to go through this.
I don't understand your exact experience, but I know enough to hurt with you.
I hope you're doing as okay as is reasonable in situations like these.
And I hope you have an outlet for your pain.
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u/NikaMilkuTomato 13h ago
I don’t usually type in Reddit but I am so fucking proud of you for still being alive today. Please keep going and I know there will always be someone worth living for, I can’t imagine having to loose the love of your life but I am praying and hoping for you that you can at least wake up everyday
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u/SuccotashPale2685 5h ago
my mom passed away february of 2020. valentine’s day to be exact. i’m so sorry for your loss and it may be weird to say this but just know i was here at the same time as you, devastated over my own loss. maybe i came across your comment for that reason, the “february of 2020” stuck out to me.
it’s been 6 years and that time has flown by, good memories hurt a little bit less now when i think of the past. i haven’t lost a spouse, but i lost a parent, a piece of my heart and the rest of it goes out to you.
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u/InitialAd2324 1d ago
I feel you. I lost my dad in 2018. I’ve since gotten married, had children, made a great career move, and bought my dream home. It shatters me to think he will never see this.
He will never know the pride of seeing his son happy with a beautiful family and home. That sucks. Feel free to reach out if you need to. I feel you.
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u/MapleMagicMan 1d ago
I never push religion onto people, but in my book, your father is up with the big man, and sees & knows everything good that has happened to you.
God bless brother🙏
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u/InitialAd2324 1d ago
My dad was a staunch atheist but lived more caring and giving lives than most Christians. If god is real, he’s in heaven. If not, he’s fertilizing soil. All good with me either way.
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u/sappyone 1d ago
This is so sweet. I think God judges the heart and behaviors, more than most Christians realize. The heart is normally what dictates behaviors.
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u/InitialAd2324 1d ago
Thank you, that’s how I prefer to understand it. I am also biased against one god (there’s so many, how is one right) but I do my best to be caring and giving. Who cares who’s in charge, just do it right.
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u/sappyone 15h ago
I think a person has to figure out their beliefs for themselves and let say, even though, eventually I became a Christian, I took a very long road to find the faith where I was led to. Many people preached at me and that never made a difference in what I was seeking. I studied many different faiths for a long time before deciding what was the correct one for me. I practice my faith, live it, and I will actually defend my choices, but I don't expect others to be like me. Due to the Christian faith I chose, my mom tried to disown me 🙄 and so I stood up to walk out of my parents house, then my dad said our family doesn't disown people to my mom and said he has half of a say in this house. Imho faith is complicated, everybody thinks their's is the correct one, and that mentality causes a lot of issues with society. I believe it's the herd mentality left over from caveman days. 😂
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u/SenescenseSteel 1d ago
I have made a shrine with her picture in my livingroom that lets me say things to her or think about her when I pass by. Its been 2 years but it still hurts especially thinking about her last moments.
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u/Various_Cat1763 1d ago
I’m sorry for your loss. Does texting her old phone number help?
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u/DimensionThin147 1d ago
It makes me feel like I am connecting to her in a way. Im not trying to be icky or offend anyone. I was just posting how Im dealing with my grief.
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u/goregoose 1d ago
It’s great to have this as an outlet. It’s similar to journaling, I can see how it can be therapeutic. I’m sorry for your loss ❤️🩹
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u/Various_Cat1763 1d ago
No judgement from my end! I can imagine it’s very hard to deal with and go through
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u/Sharadin-Jo 1d ago
I do the same thing for my mom who passed in 2024. I send her pictures and messages as I think to, even though I know she'll never be able to open them. Somehow it feels like maybe she knows I'm trying to reach her
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u/KingAltair2255 1d ago
I did the same thing when my friend died, I just rambled about how much I missed him. I don't need to do that anymore but it absolutely 100% helped a fuck ton being able to just vent into the void.
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u/Mstkn_identity1989 1d ago
My mom passed in April of this year. Id give anything to have her back. ((hugs))
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u/ThrillHouse802 1d ago
This hurts me a lot. My mom has a terminal illness and was told she has 6 months. I try to talk to her as much as I can. I’m sorry for your loss.
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u/talkingitthrough 1d ago
I do this too, using my childhood landline. I love that I’m not the only one; it’s such a unique kind of feeling when things are feeling particularly rough.
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u/Potential_Ad_2139 1d ago
I can relate to this. I messaged the missus for months after she passed (its been almost a year). Somebody else has her number now. That was an awkward text conversation with a stranger. Now I just write messages in notes app to feel like am texting her. Grief is hard, has its own timeline for everyone. And nobody can understand that hasn’t been through it. Anyone that says it gets better, or “time heals all wounds” is chatting complete bollocks. It doesn’t. It gets different. It evolves, but the emptiness will always be there on some level. I am incredibly sorry for your loss and hope you get some small solace from sending those messages.
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u/Aggravating_Scene379 1d ago
She knows everything you are going through and hears every word you speak and think.
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u/DimensionThin147 1d ago
I hope she does
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u/SuccotashPale2685 5h ago
she does! i promise you she does. every time even the smallest thing happens i run to the cemetery just to sit and tell my mom all about it. she can hear you, she can’t talk back but she can listen.
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u/rudderlessbarge 1d ago
I miss mine too. It's not fair how much of our lives they won't be here to experience with us.
Take care of yourself.
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u/Ornery_Excuse_7939 1d ago
I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my dad last year. Instead of texting him, I record a voice memo to him every few months to update him on what’s been happening. No risk of texting a stranger, and it doesn’t show up in my messages so opening the messages app isn’t scary. It also feels a little like a phone call to him, like we did a few times a week before he got sick.
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u/Illustrious_Half3588 1d ago
Sorry you're going through this, I lost my mom semi recently too. I also texted her for awhile.
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u/articuno3161 1d ago
I know how that is. My mom died when I was a teenager and I just recently moved across the world and got married. Wish she could be around now to see what im doing
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u/new_mama1212 1d ago
Feel you…lost my dad at 22. 3 months before I graduated college. He missed my last lacrosse game (my biggest fan), my graduation, my wedding, and he’s now missing his grandchild. It hurts and not a minute goes by that he isn’t at least a subconscious thought. Sending you love.
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u/Cold-Sun3302 1d ago
Im sorry for your loss and the pain. It's a lovely idea though, a nice way to still feel connected to your mum.
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u/No-Influence3457 1d ago
I feel and share the pain 110% My mom's death completely messed me up and then some. She passed May 2025. My parents had me in their mid 40's, my brother in their 20's, and they're all gone. The pain of losing parents is probably the hardest thing ever. We have to try and keep continuing on for them no matter how hard it is for us. I was 31 when i lost my mom, I'm 32 now. She was 73. Sending my deepest and warmest condolences your way.
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u/hellsbelle51 1d ago
I love it. I recently texted my little sis who lassed this April. She was 38. I also go back and read her texts in her voice too
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u/SkoBuffs710 1d ago
I lost my mom in 2012 from ALS when I was 27, I know your pain. I had to go through getting married without her too and it was painful, I still miss her everyday.
I’m sorry OP, I’m sorry we have this in common. If texting makes you feel better, that’s great. It takes time to heal and learn to deal with it. It gets better with time but I find it’s fine to cry over it. I do every Mother’s Day, her birthday and her death day.
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u/DimensionThin147 1d ago
Does the pain get any better after the years?
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u/BlindMarksman1 1d ago
It’s going on 3 years since I lost my mom and hasn’t got any better for me. I miss her so much as she was one of the only people who I could actually talk to about anything.
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u/SkoBuffs710 1d ago
Sorry, my mom was the same way. It gets easier over time but never truly goes away.
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u/SkoBuffs710 1d ago
I think the pain subsides but the emotions remain. I’ve learned, at least for me, that allowing myself to remember her and give in emotionally helps me. I would say it took me a good 2 years to not always be sad. Another 4-5 years to not break down randomly. After that, I just have good memories and an occasional moment.
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u/Flashy-Squash7156 11h ago
it does. you never "get over" it but it does hurt less overtime. not less sad, just not as painful.
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u/wedrinkwesing 23h ago
I like to message my friend via Facebook messenger. It has old convos in it and I like to look back. His birthday has had two of the first summits on Everest in the past couple years and I like to think he would wanna know that. It was 5 years ago on 10/9 we lost Dustin and man, it feels like just yesterday. Sometimes it feels better to just write it out. 💕
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u/Sweet_Stuff3508 17h ago
When my friend from the military passed on, I still texted him about life. I stopped after a year a half later, I was use to him calling me after I always texted him, I didn't want to accept that he passed on. Got the news from another friend in common. It's horrible.
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u/Kunimono 16h ago
I feel you. My mom died very suddenly in July 2025 after a grueling battle with pancreatic cancer. Still doesn't feel real. I saved all the messages and audio from whatsapp and sometimes I still text the number. It's therapeutic, but I also know someone else will one day get her number again.
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u/BrightProcedure1783 13h ago
I understand. Nov 6 will be 3 years. Her phone is still in service. I’ve left voicemails. I just can’t bring myself to disconnect her cell phone. Hugs.
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u/spicenhoney 11h ago
This is exactly why I still pay my mother’s cell phone bill. It’s one of the few numbers I know by heart and it would probably devastate me to call it one day and hear a different voice on the other end. Texting her what’s going on in life does help with the grief. Totally feel you OP. Stay strong 🫂
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u/Annual_Pin_1890 5h ago
I used to do the same. Eventually someone answered. They don’t respond to me and just accept it.I just send something to keep my mom near the top of my texts. It has been 10 years.
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u/accessdeniedbeepboop 3h ago
I still do this to my Dad and my husbands sister is still in our group chats
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u/PepperedNotSalty 43m ago
My mom passed on sep 13, 2019... i still pay for her phone number so I can do the same. Shit sucks. I know she can't read them or respond but it makes me feel better... making it worth everything.
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1d ago
[deleted]
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u/No-Relationship-8724 1d ago
Someone would most likely reply by now.
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u/Rare_Ad_674 1d ago
Not necessarily. A lot of people would just ignore these, can feel a little weird and callous to say, "I know you're grieving but please stop messaging me."
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u/Potential-Message835 1d ago
I would do the same thing for my cousin who I was close with. Mourning is a painfully beautiful feeling. Wish you the best 🩵
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u/AppliedPsionics9k 1d ago
u/DimensionThin147 I can completely relate, however mine is with my uncle who I never got enough time with. I still text his number happy birthday(12/10) and how much he's missed... I'm just hoping somehow or somewhere he's getting the message and is smiling to see it... 💔
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u/SucItFromDaBac 1d ago
Can't believe you didn't wish your mother a Merry Christmas!
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u/DimensionThin147 1d ago
Christmas is hard for me her being gone I don't want to celebrate it. Its so obvious the hole
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u/SucItFromDaBac 1d ago
That was a bad joke, I'm sorry. I just know exactly what you are going through.
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u/Shot-Limit5794 18h ago
Not the time bro
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u/SucItFromDaBac 17h ago
You act like I didn't apologize.
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u/Shot-Limit5794 16h ago
I acknowledge that, but there’s a time and place for jokes. Plus this one wasn’t funny or in taste at all. I love offside and dark humour but not when someone has actually died.
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u/Boring_Tangelo_7989 1d ago
Dumbest thing I’ve ever seen
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u/Kunimono 16h ago
I hope for your sake you never have to experience this type of loss. What a gross comment to make.
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u/peekuhchu707 1d ago edited 1d ago
That number is going to be assigned to someone unless you keep paying for it to make sure it wont if not I hope you are ready for the shock of looking down at the alert that says mom replied. Happened to me with my brother's phone number and also they were not too friendly about it either unfortunately.