r/texts • u/ComfortableFig5879 • 1d ago
Phone message convo with a tinder match, the contrast could be an art piece
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u/shrodikan 1d ago
I've never seen a man snatch defeat from the jaws of victory so efficiently.
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u/ShadowConstruct 1d ago
No doubt you hate to see it but it's probably for the better that he gets his freak on and out right off the bat.
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u/MetalFabFF 1d ago
I just watched Nick Sirrianni match that efficiency a couple hours ago
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u/kaitria 1d ago
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u/Unsold_Leave 1d ago
Every time I see this GIF I think I need to rewatch this show lol
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u/Advanced-Topic454 1d ago
Me too 🤣 it was such a great surprise--I'm glad I found it after it was all over so I could binge it.
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u/Unsold_Leave 1d ago
I know, it was such a cozy show for me to watch. Not too intense, good humor. Just a nice relax show.
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u/bookishdeceit 1d ago
This would confuse me enough to tell them they texted the wrong person, and that has to be the case, because what????
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u/thereelsuperman 1d ago
No, he’s saying the peak of her life will be sex with him. Last tweet is just full mask off
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u/bookishdeceit 1d ago
Ykw you're right, and it seems more obvious now. I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, that's my bad lmfao
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u/TrueSpitz 1d ago
At least you weren't looking kinda dumb with your finger and your thumb in the shape of an L on your forehead
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u/eatmeouttobrianeno 1d ago
I think it's a "make you climax" joke, not a "I'm the best yr gonna have"
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u/__sleepy______ 1d ago
I do t think the original writer even made that connection.
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u/Civil-Fix-672 1d ago
I hope this persons age reflects their immaturity, and they aren’t in their 30s or older.
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u/ComfortableFig5879 1d ago
32 xD
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u/Civil-Fix-672 1d ago
That’s just ridiculous. As someone who is also 32, it doesn’t make sense to me how someone could be this old and still so immature. Turning an innocent conversation about life into something derogatory and uninvited.
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u/Zestyclose_Current41 1d ago
I'm 33 but, to be honest, I wouldn't have pulled some shit like this at 15. Or... ever actually. Thinking that would get you somewhere would be insane.
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u/Civil-Fix-672 1d ago
Agreed. I don’t understand why it’s impossible for some individuals to have a normal conversation without turning it into something else.
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u/Zestyclose_Current41 1d ago
And I mean. The complete 180 is just ASTOUNDING. I could almost see, almost, like, trying to work your way to that point or something. But to just go from "how are you?" To some hyper sexual shit with no steps inbetween is nuts.
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u/TraditionalCatch3796 1d ago
I’m 45 years old, and most the men that I match with are between the ages of 35 and 55. I promise you the screenshot above could be a man between age 18 or 85. Lol.
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u/wholelottachoppaz 1d ago
you’re so right 💀 they don’t change, if they’re gross pigs when they’re young they stay that way until they pass away. me working at nursing homes sent that point home for me lmao
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u/Gemini_writer8 1d ago
47F and came here to say this. They start off nice and respectful on the apps but the minute they get my number they turn into the Creature from the Horny Lagoon
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u/zipzapzippydyzoom 1d ago
Why do people think that when men turn 30, they immediately become this mature, level-headed, sane person? Most certainly do NOT do that. If anything, mid-life crisis hits in mid 30's, and now they're trying to live out every fantasy they ever had.
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u/Civil-Fix-672 1d ago
People should be mature prior to reaching 30 in my opinion. And if not mature, at least have self control. I find immature humor amusing, inappropriate jokes, dirty jokes, and so on, but that’s just amongst close friends. I wouldn’t use the same humor at work, or with someone I just met.
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u/Voluntary_Perry 1d ago
What percentage of the time does this approach work out positively?
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u/rohoho929 1d ago
An hour later that guy will be on reddit screeching about women's unrealistic expectations for men and dating and blaming hypergamy or something
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u/Worried-Low4580 1d ago
😂 now that’s hysterically accurate 😂
The age of instant gratification has melted the brains of most guys unfortunately.
They completely disregard the notion of setting a foundation to make their girl/woman feel heard, safe and comfortable before jumping to the fantasies 🙄
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u/Familiar-Lychee-9350 1d ago
genuinely i don't think it's even about it "working" i think they just get off on saying shit like that
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u/Impressive-Hair2704 1d ago
Yeah the point is to humiliate and sexually harass someone without risking any real life consequences.
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u/throwuk1 1d ago
Some women are really into being spoken to like this and treated roughly.
The thing is, you need to get to know the person first and when they feel safe they will open up and tell you what they like and dislike.
Shooting from the off like this just shouts to me that this guy rarely gets laid.
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u/iluvrooandvelvetx 1d ago
I get texts like this all the time from men it’s exhausting
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u/FarmFreshPotato 1d ago
They want the sexual aspects of a “girlfriend experience” from a totally random woman, for free.
Tbh, the audacity is crazy.
Saying something like that to my gf wouldn’t be that out of the ordinary for us. But we actually know each other and have an established relationship. Smh, when I’ve seen the bar for men is so low it’s in hell, 👆 imo the type of guys in the OP make it easy for any remotely normal guy to stand out
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u/AnusCruiser 1d ago
"Oh she replied, time for the cum message. No no thats much too fast, dont want to scare her off. Oh she replied again she's definitely asking for the cum message"
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u/Scared_Lie9279 1d ago
Yeah this is why at 31 I’ve given up dating men for the foreseeable future. I know there are good guys out there but sifting through this bs is exhausting and discouraging for a woman who isn’t overtly lustful😵💫 sorry to the good dudes losing out bc of your brethren. Talk to your friends and see how they talk to women and call them out if they’re being creeps!
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u/UmCourt 1d ago
Same girl, i am 36 and decided to stop 6 years ago 🤣 I am much Happier viking alone and doing my own thing!
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u/m_a_n_t_i_c_o_r_e 1d ago
“I am much happier viking alone”
— Grugette Jarlsdottr of the Opportune Typo (~900 AD)
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u/MileHiSalute 1d ago
Men with morals aren’t friends with these losers. They’re all friends with eachother. It’s just wild how many of them there are. I mean I’ve always known they’re out there, but they’ve really been emboldened in recent years. Wonder why that could possibly be? 🫠
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u/Aeon_Return 1d ago
same. I'm not gay but stuff like this makes me wish I was.
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u/Scared_Lie9279 1d ago
If only!! But seeing so many women not settling for weirdo losers is refreshing. To have great girlfriends, be comfortable with my own company and know that I’m complete by myself has truly changed my thinking. Most confident I’ve ever been!
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u/BloodAndDiamonds 1d ago
Isn't it absolutely anger inducing when you're trying to have a somewhat serious conversation and a man has to make some kind of perverted comment? Ugh.
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u/GentlemanB106 1d ago
This.
This is my competition.
I'm just *so tired,* man. I just wish we could talk to each other like sane human beings, ESPECIALLY in the context of dating.
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u/LiveScallion2029 1d ago
My guy this isn't competition this is mud we have to sift though. Ain't no one okay with this, but they're everywhere and make US tired. Sincerely, a tired woman
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u/Wide-Relation-9947 1d ago
If that's your competition you should be doing pretty good!
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1d ago
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u/Mountainhollerforeva 1d ago
Me and my wife try to play matchmaker, that’s how everyone used to do it, seems to work out ok. Especially since we’re motivated to make it work for everyone involved.
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u/Galitzianer0 1d ago
Everyone's so tired, just have a nap and get back on that horse, you guys act like everything is supposed to be easy, it's never been easy
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u/therealwtpieh 1d ago
Just scrolling past this and all i gotta say as a guy is “what the fuck??”
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u/certavi3797 1d ago
Mf has text tourettes syndrome. Such a wild thing to say.
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u/BestFruitBat 1d ago
Person with coprographia here.
Seems like he's just a little braindead. Definitely not coprographia.
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u/WHWeaselgoose 1d ago
I read this as “coprophagia” and was like wooah
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u/Away-Criticism8470 1d ago
Jokes on you I read this as “coprophilia” and was like wooah
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u/TheUniverse-IsMine 1d ago
Jokes on you I read this as "corpodillia" and I was like woahh
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u/SuggestableFred 1d ago
I have ADHD, poor eyesight, and periodontitis, as a representative of all three groups we do not claim him.
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u/Aspirin_Dispenser 1d ago
This is exactly the kind of thing you get when sexually inexperienced and poorly socialized young guys that have watched way too much porn try dating apps.
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u/SignificantState265 1d ago
Online dating seems so horrible. How do you recover from that 😭
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u/vixenstarlet1949 1d ago
youll get this from people you meet in person too it’s absolutely horrible
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u/Own_Seaworthiness275 1d ago
That... Took a turn... And then a dive off a cliff, into a volcano, collapsed in an earthquake, dug up and tumbled by a tsunami and launched into a nearby seafloor trench via hurricane
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u/dobber227 1d ago edited 1d ago
That's a man who has watched way too much porn and thinks that's how women actually are.
I'll add one other sad thing. He talks like that, but porn messes your brain up so bad that he probably would have trouble being with a real woman. Tons of documented out there about it and the numerous physical problems it causes as well.
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u/Charming-Deal-4062 18h ago
I have a theory.
This guy has probably got it in his head, that women really like dark romance books (smut). He has then taken some dialogue out of context and tried to apply it here.
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u/FionnaAndCake 1d ago
why are men ?
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u/SELFINCRIMINAT1NG 1d ago
you can always tell when everything someone has learned about dating comes from porn
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u/dumphisass42 1d ago
Are ya’ll not embarrassed to be known to speak like that to women?
I could never have my reputation be “talks like an absolute asshat online to women.” But I guess that’s just me
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u/sp00ky99 1d ago
Look some people are into this kinda talk, that's fine, but dammit no one you just met is 😅
Guys been chatting to too many onlyfan bots and been gaslit into thinking that's what woman wants to hear.
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u/WhatveIdone2dsrvthis 1d ago
That is just insane. It's like someone is on a plane and suddenly decides they want to open the door.
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u/doomandgloomm 1d ago
This is why I hate modern dating. I just got back into it recently and not once have I met a man that wants meaningful conversations and fun times. They all have this chronic porn brain rot and its sad. Even the other night, told a guy I knew he could come hang and I did not want to hookup. He came over and would not take no for an answer. It was disappointing because I liked the dude.
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u/Nopidy 1d ago
I love that this is a conversation between 2 persons that are both talking to eachother with nothing to distract them. No loud music that could make the other misshear what one said or anything. Even the median used (text messages) is slow and grants the ability for correction and confirmation before sending your message.
And yet they are both having totally distinct conversations, one normal and one... disturbing.
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u/_Valkyrie_666 1d ago
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA this shit has me 💀
They are all fucking porn brain damaged. The last BF I had was obsessed with calling me a desperate little whore. They all do this. Sometimes I even get into it which I can’t tell if that makes it worse or not.
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u/teewye86 10h ago
I've never had to use a dating app because I've been married almost 40 years. It's good to see I'm not missing anything. Good luck out there OP.
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u/Live_Parking_478 1d ago
As a man, w h a t the fuck. Is this normal?
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u/Carvemynameinstone 17h ago
These guys, thirty years ago, are the same type of guys that went in and out of bars and asked every single woman inside if they were down to fuck.
After 50 woman, one will say yes. So every night or two that they go out, they would have a ONS. They wouldn't do it if it didn't work. They're not there for a relationship, but to get their dick wet, and there are enough women that are OK with that that they keep doing it.
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u/MikeFox11111 9h ago
right, like they wouldn't keep spamming me with offers from Nigerian princes if someone wasn't giving them their money.
Either this works for them, or more likely some other guy is swearing to them that it works for HIM, so they should try it.
Or they've just watched too much porn and their brains are nothing but rot at this point
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u/thelegodr 1d ago
You mean that didn’t work for you?
So eloquent and romantic
/s because you never know on this app
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u/Rusty_Tap 1d ago
God damn, this is why they don't want to talk to us. Can't really blame them.
Unless he's shooting for that lottery win that you were thinking the same thing at that exact time.
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u/billyard00 1d ago
Dude's playing the numbers game.
Eventually...one day. Maybe.
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u/ShadowConstruct 1d ago
I get that tinder is about hooking up but I feel like it's super creepy when certain dudes make every convo devolve into some weird sexting that an average awkward teenager would send and still be cringing under the blanket about it for years to come.
Like you were obviously having a conversation, I don't know why someone wouldn't just have a conversation, you can talk dirty in the proper settings. Is it really hard to just have a regular ass conversation without being a deviant just because you can't control yourself like most of us.
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u/DanDiggler69420 1d ago edited 1d ago
Bro read peaked, interpreted it as “over the hill” and figured there was no time to spare!
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u/Extension_Course_351 1d ago
I'm the type of guy that will talk and get to know you without thinking about that other stuff at all. Men are disgusting
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u/GirlyWorryWart 19h ago
The first person I spoke to on Tinder ever, asked me in his third message, to come over and he'd rock my world. Wtf, guys like these.... They're everywhere apparently 😭
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u/avamarshmellow 18h ago
That kind of talk is ok for a relationship that’s a year deep, but TINDER DATE? Block that 🗑️
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u/_LemonySnicket 17h ago
yeah, i hate any dating apps for this reason. all of my long-lasting relationships were from making friends, knowing eachother for years, slowly falling in love. imo you can't just pick and choose a soulmate from a list of random people who you barely know. even if you go on a few dates, you're going to move way too quickly and be almost always doomed to fail
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u/Owtplayed 1d ago
Bro what kinda grown man thinks this would actually work on a woman you just met?
I’ve never understood it, it’s weird.