I don’t know what I am anymore [17 F]

[u/Painted_Owlette]

for the longest time I thought I was bi, I find both guys and girls attractive. I‘ve had crushes on both but recently I had my first kiss in a long time, my first was back in pre-school with my ‘girlfriend’, maybe it’s just kissing that doesn’t work with me but it just seemed gross, I genuinely felt like throwing up after.

The girl is genuinely kind and I don’t want to hurt her but now I’m starting to wonder if I’ve been wrong for the last few years. Maybe I just don’t like her but I don’t know if that’s the only thing, the idea of a relationship seems terrifying to me, its hard for me to even imagine people having their own lives outside of one.

I don’t think I want a relationship, in the romantic sense, theres a lot I want to do in life and I don’t think a relationship fits into that.

as for the girl, she has a girlfriend, they just have an open relationship I think, I don’t really understand their arrangement I just know the other girl was cool with it since she was there.