r/okbuddychicanery • u/the26102019 • 4m ago
It feels so weird that Mitte is gone
I'll try to keep this short because nobody cares about me or my opinions, but I wanted to get my thoughts out there. I've been lucky enough to be able to not experience someone's death personally, but being the paranoid person I am, I've been fearing waking up to find - for example - my brother or best friend gone every day for years. And whenever someone I at least kind of know a little bit passes, I can barely even comprehend it. Just yesterday we were joking about breakfast, and now the person behind all of that is gone? Just like that? It's even weirder to understand given that he is permanently able to be seen through videos and the show itself.
I've recently gotten suicidal thoughts myself after a long period of depression and I feel guilty about it. I know I shouldn't compare struggles but I can't help it. R.J. and loads more have much greater struggles than I do, so I feel like nothing but a nuisance wishing for my own passing and all that. It doesn't help that, with college, I've gotten a much greater workload recently too, and I'm drastically failing to keep up with it, so it feels like I'm not gonna be able to do what I'm gonna do, and I will end up with a sad life, and I don't even have anybody to make it better since I can't even make friends.. I ended up off topic there so sorry, but I doubt anyone is gonna read this anyway. I've tried getting help but nothing has been useful so far, so I don't know what to do regarding all this, but I'm just gonna try to keep up. All my regards to R.J. Mitte and his family and I hope you guys have the best day you can. Good luck.