r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Raichu5021 • 7h ago

I'm slightly vexed How am I supposed to open it now 💀

Post image

Just popped right off when trying to open it normally

273 Upvotes

78% Upvoted

565 comments sorted by

506

u/Chaparral2E 7h ago

You are not going to do well in the coming apocalypse.

37

u/TepHoBubba 4h ago

A whole generation or two at least will be the first to go.

4

u/ThinkWishbone2495 2h ago

Boomers do everything old school BUT they're also dependent on meds to survive so it's a wash.

2

u/Ok-Satisfaction3085 1h ago

It will be the time for millennials to rise. We’re old enough to know know life without luxury but young enough to know what technology we need to make it luxurious lol

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2

u/Cool-Penalty-9633 1h ago

It's GG for all of us in an apocalypse. Why would you even want to survive it?

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6

u/Kitchen-Bagel-Burnt 3h ago

They might have other skills that may be needed !

5

u/Racine262 2h ago

I heard they weren't really doing that anymore either.

5

u/Rampag169 2h ago

No one who is dependent on medications will do well in an apocalypse.

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136

u/Cowgirl_Taint 7h ago

Get a fork or spoon. Flip it the other way so you have the blunt end and not the eaty end (or maybe you do eat from that end. I'm not your mom). Drive it into the mouth hole of the can.

134

u/Shadowmant 7h ago

37

u/Adventure_Pancake 7h ago

I love that someone painted this

15

u/ObscureOP 7h ago

I see you've played painty-gify before

2

u/RandomnessesOF 6h ago

wait this is painted...

2

u/cykoTom3 2h ago

The ring came off my pudding can

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12

u/eddiesmom 7h ago

Great advice from Cowgirl_Taint

8

u/drpyne89 5h ago

Lmao. The eaty end.

4

u/DomiDearest 7h ago

How do you know for sure you aren't OPs mom?🤔😝

23

u/Cowgirl_Taint 7h ago

'cause I don't raise no fools.

Any child of mine would have smashed the hell out of that can rather than ask the internet.

8

u/DomiDearest 7h ago

Respectfully, I love you😭🙏🏽

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2

u/sayiansaga 5h ago

Or your keys

2

u/LeBronze_Jayce 5h ago

Keys are the go to in this situation

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169

u/roberttheaxolotl 7h ago

I mean, it's a soda can, not Fort Knox. Just press on the tab with a butter knife or something.

42

u/Karnadas 6h ago

You can even use the tab that came off to open the lid, still.

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11

u/PM_ME_THE_SLOTHS 4h ago

I had a 12 pack a few weeks ago where about half the cans the tab just popped off, the hole wasn't properly cut. However, a standard can opener opened it just fine

5

u/chimmelrick 5h ago

Butter knife was the first thing that popped in my head

50

u/CasualBi24 7h ago

13

u/csonny2 5h ago

Use my pen knife, my good man.

3

u/smcsherry 5h ago

Use my pen knife my good man

74

u/DaintyChoad 7h ago

A real man doesn't bring these problems to Reddit, a real man.Just pops out his pocket knife and handles it

44

u/RealityIsRipping 7h ago

Real men don’t use Reddit. We’re all poofters and fairies here.

15

u/CassiopeiaNQ1 7h ago

I'm a woman who wants to be a poofter and fairy, too.

6

u/theycallmemrmoo 5h ago

-waves magic wand- your wish is granted!

2

u/DaintyChoad 7h ago

Diligence and Problem solving skills. The utility blade is just extra

2

u/kimmortal03 6h ago

So you wannna be a lumberjack?

3

u/Sophiasmistake 3h ago

If that's ok?

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5

u/henryeaterofpies 5h ago

Shit a key would work in a pinch, or any small length of material that could be a lever.

3

u/Inexona 1h ago

Can't find a "pocket knife" app on the play store. Are you sure that's a thing???

3

u/Ok_Acanthisitta3268 6h ago

Don't make any references to their soft hands ..you will get banned lol

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2

u/Chaparral2E 7h ago

I’d bet against ownership of a pocketknife by anyone asking the question.

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2

u/chathrowaway67 5h ago

as opposed to the fake plastic men... those monsters from the depths.

2

u/tybuch0926 4h ago edited 2h ago

I wouldn’t even open my knife just give the perforated hole a quick whack with the end. Open up beer bottles that way or with a lighter.

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22

u/tristanthorn_ 7h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/90PPv7eqekhrO
Info request: do you have forearms like Popeye? 🤔

3

u/Chaparral2E 7h ago

No, I only have two arms. 😜

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22

u/2Mana1Drop 7h ago

3

u/l0dime 7h ago

Came here to drop this gif. This movie lives rent free in my head

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15

u/OldWrangler9033 5h ago

2

u/Fit_Lion9260 3h ago

The failures of the youth are the collective failures of their elders.

15

u/StandardNeither1311 7h ago

Find an adult to help you.

12

u/Nyarro 7h ago

Shotgun it

13

u/MadalorianCubist 2h ago

4

u/Vuffy_ 1h ago

Fuck that, any metal object works. I fear for later generations.

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9

u/mao51 7h ago

Hit it with your purse.

33

u/BiscuitWig2 7h ago

It comforts me to know I'll have some extra resources available during the apocalypse thanks to toddler-brained adults that can't think of a single way to penetrate a thin aluminum can.

7

u/rorschach_vest 7h ago

The people shopping at Whole Foods will be dead before the rest of us are getting hungry for the first time.

3

u/tvsportsfool 7h ago

What about us Walmarters, don't we qualify for being stepped down on?

6

u/rorschach_vest 7h ago

You’ll be kings in the new society. Please be nice to us Aldi folk.

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10

u/old_notdead 7h ago

Butter knife and a little lever action, and you'll be good.

8

u/gettin-hot-in-here 7h ago

If you hit the part that's supposed to open JUST RIGHT with the butt of a knife/fork/spoon it'll open. If you get it wrong, it may still open but also splash cider all over you

11

u/ComfortablyNomNom 7h ago

That's why you don't hit it with the knife. You lay the tip horizontal against the opening and slowly press it down and in. Takes very little pressure and no spillage.

2

u/rubberbandjankins 7h ago

Monke smash

6

u/Anishiriwan 7h ago

A shotgun is probably overkill. Even if it’s a little one

3

u/ArbysLunch 6h ago

Henry makes them in .22

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2

u/Extrien 7h ago

i just hammer it with the butt of a butter knife. hence the name.

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9

u/SoElusivee 6h ago

It's spiced cider sparkling water. That was the universe doing you a favor

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10

u/Interesting_Form_297 5h ago

hit it with your purse

10

u/Ok_Acanthisitta3268 6h ago

With a key ......

You have some soft looking hands

4

u/MagnumPewPew 6h ago

City hands, been counting money...

2

u/Ok_Acanthisitta3268 6h ago

Ya that checks out and makes the entire post makes more sense

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16

u/jake9288888 7h ago

Man. Problem solving skills are difficult arent they

2

u/mephisto_uranus 7h ago

What do you expect from a Whole Foods shopper?

9

u/FourthRing 7h ago

Rub a sharpie back and forth on the edge of the lid and apply slight pressure … it’ll blow open towards you with a nice bang but it’ll be open …. 🤣

15

u/FourthRing 7h ago

WHILE CLOSED AND CAPPED DONT OPEN THE SHARPIE LOL

6

u/Amishgirl281 7h ago

Necessary addition 😂

3

u/FourthRing 7h ago

Lmfao in 2026 absolutely necessary 🤣🤣🤣

2

u/AlcoholPrep 5h ago

Why not? It just adds more of those "artificial colors and flavors" you see on the label.

8

u/Adequate_Cheesecake7 6h ago

3

u/Rheinmetal 6h ago

Why does this work?

5

u/smilesdavis8d 5h ago

Friction. Rubbing it causes the already weakened part of the can to weaken more (from friction) and pop open from the internal pressure.

It’s similar to bending a piece of metal or plastic back and forth until it breaks

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3

u/FourthRing 5h ago

YESSS THE PERFECT GIF 🙏🏻

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9

u/fwimmygoat WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE 7h ago

like this

9

u/BarbequedYeti 7h ago

Take a pen. Poke hole in side of can toward bottom. Hold to mouth, take same pen and smash in the top. Enjoy quickly.

9

u/No-Tank-1826 3h ago

Church key for the win!

7

u/milleratlanta 7h ago

Can opener. Church key.

8

u/Andr3wRuns 7h ago

Shotgun it

8

u/Few_Persimmon_7765 7h ago

Hit it with your purse😂

5

u/ugh168 7h ago

Church key

7

u/HAZARD327 7h ago

Car key

6

u/MNcatfan 7h ago edited 6h ago

"The ring came off my cider can!"

Try my pen knife, my good man!!! I swear that it's your only choice, throw up your arms and raise your voice! Monorail! Monorail! Monorail!

11

u/xOHSOx 7h ago

Zero survival skills smh 🤦‍♂️

11

u/Sweet-Sir-10 7h ago

Can opener lol

3

u/Red_Tiger5311 6h ago

better answer: hammer

2

u/Sweet-Sir-10 6h ago

Not better… best

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5

u/freeportme 7h ago

Church key just like the old days.

2

u/Former-Package-8496 6h ago

Finally! Someone who also calls them church keys

4

u/incog46 5h ago

Do you not own a churchkey?

6

u/DoctorMedieval 5h ago

I’ve got an Arkansas toothpick…

2

u/Musicman1019 4h ago

You just need to get “in cider”

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3

u/EarSquare2819 5h ago

What if they're an atheist?

9

u/incog46 5h ago

I've known number of non-believers who had a churchkey with them at all times. And if they needed one and didn't have one, they often took the name of the God they didn't believe in in vain.

4

u/lastfreerangekid 7h ago

Its a message from the universe to not drink that

3

u/No-Mouse-262 7h ago

Butter knife. Stab it open.

3

u/popeh 3h ago

Can opener, it's a can after all

8

u/robotfindsme 7h ago

Genuinely, a can opener. Like the kind for a can of soup. It surprisingly doesn't make a horrible lip-slicing edge all the way around.

3

u/Swacket_McManus 7h ago

Thumb, press, hopefully no popping

3

u/Sloyment 7h ago

Use your car key as a chissel.

3

u/ZombiePoultry 7h ago

With a coin. How old are you?

3

u/plainskeptic2023 7h ago

Hitting the opening with a key or knife will push down the tab.

3

u/Xibby 7h ago

🛑

🔨⏱️‼️

3

u/Which-Break5673 7h ago

Can opener! I had to do that last night.

3

u/StraightChillinSpree 7h ago

Luck of the Irish, it’s supposed to have alcohol in it 😂

3

u/No-Gas5342 7h ago

It did you a favor considering the flavor 😬

3

u/LooMinairy 7h ago

Makes me think of that scene in major Payne when he opens the can of soda by smashing his finger into it

3

u/TheBillyFnWilson 6h ago

Punch through the area with a key and then when the seal is broken, mash the rest in with your finger

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4

u/AKchaos49 3h ago

these work on cans, too, toughguy

3

u/BlueRunner305 7h ago

Hit it with your purse

2

u/ZhaozhouCongshen 7h ago

Your pocket knife.

2

u/dbchocochip 7h ago

Use a pen and force it open

2

u/hefty_load_o_shite 7h ago

You have a can that you need to open... If only there was some sort of tool made for that particular purpose

2

u/Ubernaga 7h ago

Punch it with your knuckle.

2

u/Lock_Psychological 7h ago

I'd poke it with a key and then push the tab down out of the way. Pretty simple.

2

u/luizggardina 7h ago

You are never gonna open with that negative attitude. Think as a winner.

2

u/MagneticFluxDrive 7h ago

A quarter or nickel works great.

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2

u/UGDust 7h ago

Try using a can opener.

2

u/iamfroott 7h ago

eat the whole can

2

u/Klutzy-Photo-3164 7h ago

Shove it with a spoon

2

u/Kitchen-Wish5994 7h ago

Natureumfindsaway.

2

u/_oldhead 7h ago

Grip the can with one hand and with the other, strike straight down with the back of a butter knife.

2

u/BrendanATX 7h ago

Bottom of screw driver to push tab open

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2

u/Pman1324 7h ago

Tap the opening wirh your finger until it opens up.

That what I did as a kid with those Hug juice barrels wirh my cousin.

2

u/Sussy-Sausage 7h ago

A can't...

2

u/Willtexas1 7h ago

RAWDAWG IT AND BITE THROUGH THE SIDE RAAGHHH

2

u/S3erverMonkey 7h ago

Punch it in with your second knuckle.

2

u/Latte-Macchiat0 7h ago

You stab it with the back of a fork or spoon or whatever

2

u/WhoTheFuck8MyBaby 7h ago

With violence

2

u/General_whisky PURPLE 7h ago

I just punch it in with my thumb

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2

u/Javi1192 7h ago

Caveman it

2

u/DrMindbendersMonocle 7h ago

use your keys or even your thumb to push it in

2

u/TehZiiM 7h ago

Can opener, duh

2

u/linuxed1 7h ago

Bic lighter. Screw driver... Tons of stuff

2

u/Odd_Dragonfruit_2662 7h ago

Knife, spear the side and have a glass ready to fill

2

u/the_lost_seattlite 7h ago

The old fashioned way.
(With a knife)

2

u/unknownpoltroon 7h ago

You can sometimes use that to push down really hard on the edge where it's supposed to open. 

Or poke it with a screwdriver or somthing

2

u/Feather_Bloom 6h ago

Got a can opener?

2

u/TheMuseAndScribe 6h ago

You all are crazy.

The answer is can opener.

2

u/PreperationOuch 6h ago

Use my pen-knife, my good man

2

u/dunncrew 6h ago

Phillips screwdriver

2

u/Eric848448 4h ago

Take my pen knife my good man!

2

u/argparg 3h ago

Hit it with your purse

2

u/get-r-done-idaho 3h ago

Pop the tab open with a screwdriver, or a pocket knife.

2

u/RoeRoeDaBoat 3h ago

take my pen knife my good man

2

u/Guinea_Jay 2h ago

You are not a drinker

2

u/Workingclassherois 2h ago

Grab the nub with a pair of side cutters and twist a bit. 🙄

3

u/maybebaebea 7h ago

With a can opener

3

u/Fit_Work4558 7h ago

Can opener, same thing happened to me.

3

u/choppa73 7h ago

Do you know how to adult?

2

u/FancyThing8889 7h ago

People saying butter knife like you brought a full cutlery set to a park bench.

2

u/disgustingtrashcan 7h ago

Sledgehammer ... obviously

1

u/elpollodiablox 7h ago

Find a sharp rock.

1

u/GergDanger 7h ago

Just stab the cerated part with a utensil and it should open

1

u/Odd-Wheel5315 7h ago

Key or screwdriver to the side to poke a hole, shotgun it, crush the can afterwards.