r/mildlyinfuriating • • 17d ago

I'm slightly vexed A Short En-Suite Story

24.7k Upvotes

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8.2k

u/Far_Veterinarian9135 17d ago

Open shelving is a way to go. This person wants to see their stuff and easily be able to grab it and not worry about it being horizontal like they might end those shelving cabinet that you bought where when you open it back-and-forth stuff could fall over I get this person.

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u/niseynisey 17d ago

Exactlyyyy. Buy something like these instead

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u/starshine1988 17d ago

As someone who is a mix of both OP and the wife, this wouldn’t work imo. One because the stuff would still look kinda messy if you’re using it for your daily needs— I feel like these only look good for stuff you rarely touch and don’t need to keep neat, like books and curiosities. Two because there’s still a surface on top that I would still make use of as a “oh I’ll drop this hair brush here for now and put it where it’s supposed to go in a minute….” And then never actually put it in its designated cubby.

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u/SeaworthinessOne1752 17d ago

Im a germaphobe and my husband is an 'organization cleaner'. One day, I had proudly disinfected, scrubbed on my hands/knees our bathroom. One could eat off my floor and bathtub. He came home and asked, 'why is the bathroom a mess'. It took a minute to realize he was referring to the bottle of Nivea lotion and mouthwash on the counter 😳

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u/Appropriate_Car_8221 17d ago

That sounds insufferable to live with

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u/roundhashbrowntown 16d ago

i had a parent like this, and i couldnt leave the house fast enough. for them, it wasnt enough for things to be white glove clean, there had to be announcements, complaints, and regulations, too. no thanks 🙂‍↔️

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u/SeaworthinessOne1752 17d ago

Me or him?! Hahaha

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u/Appropriate_Car_8221 17d ago

It also sounds kinda nice to have - I just wouldn't want to be questioned like that. He could have just put them away himself. It sounds passive agressive, leaning toward agressive

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u/Sehrli_Magic 15d ago

this is so real. i am germophob but i am a messy PIG. my husband doesnt believe in existance of bacteria but he is obsessed with everything being visualy clean. why do we do this to ourselves? i mean, get in relationships like this? 🤣

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u/SeaworthinessOne1752 15d ago

Yeah especially during Covid I was extra paranoid and my husband had acute viral deficiency. When we''d go out on dates I have 3 hand sanitizers w me and he wouldn't even wash his hand in the washroom so I'd be nervous

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u/ThighsocksTK 16d ago

I get being proud of your work but is it necessary to be able to eat off your bathroom floor? It sounds needlessly exhausting and unnecessary, especially since it’s your own home and your own germs? I wouldn’t be able to (or want to) keep that kind of thing up for a week, let alone my whole life. How do you manage? Have you always been a germaphobe or did something trigger it? I ate something moldy from the fridge as a child and have never been able to trust leftovers

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u/80HDTV5 16d ago

Dunno about them but I became a germaphobe partially because I had sensory issues as a kid and kid stuff often ends up greasy and/or sticky when shared between kids. Once I learned about germs and connected that to the bad textures it all just kind of spiraled.

I also really hated bad smells as a kid and I had two very smelly older brothers. Cleaning got rid of the bad smells, so once again it was cleaning=relief

Eventually my brain associated germs with stress and cleanliness with relief. But it’s like germs, stress, cleanliness, and relief are all in a toxic polyamorous relationship with one another but germs and stress, and cleanliness and relief are in codependent couplings within the polycule and fighting with both each other and the other codependent coupling, and it’s all a mess because they all care for one another but they’re just not right for each other.

It’s like that.

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u/ThighsocksTK 16d ago

That makes sense, I understand, thanks for sharing your experience. I’ve had that mild anxiety about germs but so far I’ve managed to keep it from turning into a full blown phobia.
Met someone who just couldn’t bring themselves to drink from the same bottle. Making out, putting mouth on body parts was no problem but they were too disgusted to be able to take a sip from the same bottle. Brains are weird creatures

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u/Signal_This 17d ago

Baskets are the answer! Everything you need is in one place and it's incredibly easy to put things back.

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u/ak3000android 17d ago

So what’s the difference between baskets inside shelves and drawers?

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u/sl212190 17d ago

As someone with ADHD, I can't fully articulate it.. But for some reason, having to bend down & rummage around in a drawer vs a basket I can take to wherever I need and keep at standing height makes all the difference. I don't need to keep walking back & forth between, say, the mirror & the drawers each time I need to retrieve an item, I can keep the entire basket with everything necessary next to me the entire time. Small things like this make a difference! I have many baskets & trays around the house haha

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u/ak3000android 17d ago

That is truly an advantage I didn’t think of. Even for people without ADHD, I can see it being better ergonomically.

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u/Hot-Tomato4908 17d ago

Agreed. Baskets > shelves

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u/Appropriate_Car_8221 17d ago

Why not baskets on shelves?

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u/Hot-Tomato4908 17d ago

Ok yes baskets on shelves are also good. Because you can still 'chuck' stuff in there (easy) and then it's also tidy (nice). But those open shelves just require too much tidying (hard)

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u/Grouchy_Reindeer_227 17d ago

Baskets = Organized chaos!!

When my kids were little it’s how I organized all of their little pieces (like Legos, cars, game pieces, etc)

Made clean up a breeze, and my “OCD” color coding system made their helping me clean up efficient! 😂

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u/sl212190 17d ago

Absolutely, IKEA trofast is popular for a reason!

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u/PineappleBliss2023 16d ago

Broooo I thought this was just me. Like I literally dread bending or crouching to get something and it makes me avoid using stuff I put in low cabinets and the fridge drawer.

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u/halcyonfox 17d ago

I do this with bags and trays. They look a mess but I cram as much relevant stuff in them as I can

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u/JrCoxy 13d ago

The annoying thing about adhd is that it’s really easy for spaces to become black holes. The problem with a drawer is that when it inevitably turns into a black hole, you can’t easily pull it completely out to dump out the contents and do spring cleaning/easily look for things.
And drawers are harder to clean when debris starts to build up. You’re sitting there with disinfectant spray and a hand towel, scrubbing the crevices, corners, side walls, never being truly satisfied as there will always be a few black specs in the corner.

At least with a bucket/basket, those can be washed under a sink or be hosed down, to actually make it look brand new again

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u/roundhashbrowntown 16d ago

same. a basket is like RAM, cabinets/closets are like SSD’s 😂 give me more temporarily hidden but findables!

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u/Signal_This 17d ago

If you choose the right baskets, you can see the contents and can throw stuff back in without having to open anything.

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u/ak3000android 17d ago

So a basket that doesn’t take the whole height. I can see it being better than a pile of things halfway off the shelves (thinking about hair dryers and their cords).

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u/Signal_This 17d ago

It looks neater, it keeps everything together and you only have to put one thing back if you take it off the shelf. I'm a huge fan!!

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u/xqueenfrostine 17d ago

Half or even quarter height would be ideal depending on the height of the things you’re placing into the basket.

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u/GuidanceLeading4186 17d ago

But then you are required to add cleaning the basket to the mental shelf!

Basket weave

Better set on fire at that point

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u/ladysadi 17d ago

The basket can be put on the counter top to work out of, the drawer can't. It could be a decent compromise for this couple.

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u/AlsoCommiePuddin 17d ago

There is a lid on the shelf or drawer on which to put things. With a basket there is only "in the basket."

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u/ne0nhearts 17d ago

Coming from a fully autistic household, baskets are definitely the answer. I also got some cool organizers. It's still busy, but it's organized chaos.

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u/GuidanceLeading4186 17d ago

Baskets require cleaning also
Which is nearly impossible with the weave

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u/Signal_This 17d ago

About once a month, I dump out my baskets, sort everything and wipe out the inside with a damp cloth. I don't find they get that dirty, unless something spills. You could also use plastic baskets or boxes which would be easier to clean but still serve the same purpose.

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u/bleuwillow 17d ago

I bought a basket for the top of my bedside table and now instead of all the crap i feel like I'm gonna need at night constantly falling on the floor or just generally pissing me off with the messiness, it's just...in the basket. It's still messy, but looks much better and it's a lot harder for the cat to push off a whole basket instead of single medication bottles. Not to be overly dramatic, but this stupid basket has kinda changed my life.

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u/NightGod 17d ago

That's why you exclusively use things the height of the one on the left so using the top for regularly used items is impractical!

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u/Shoddy_Statement_772 17d ago

Yes I'm the same and I looove buckets or baskets

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u/Phoneas__and__Frob 17d ago

Maybe see through panels on the door? That's how I have mine and I prefer it because I don't like the clutter, but I wanna see everything

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u/whoFKNKares 17d ago

This is a great idea for messy people who need to see things to remember them. On the other hand if it bothers you you should put it away.

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u/Appropriate_Car_8221 17d ago

Why is there half a chair doing some magical balancing act on 1 or 2 legs hiding behind a random curtain?

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u/niseynisey 17d ago

It’s a collage of two screenshots together.

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u/duzstbunni 17d ago

I feel like i just gained a wrinkle in my brain

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u/GuidanceLeading4186 17d ago

But it looks like hot mess either way

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u/PuzzleMap2020 16d ago

This is a really good experiment. I wonder if it would work. 

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u/Consistent_Menu_4538 17d ago

I’d hang two floating shelves right here personally.

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u/SpiritedSafe9005 12d ago

Okay, but also, please don’t put them man-height. Put them where she can reach everything.

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u/stephiloo 11d ago

A mirror there makes more sense than shelves. Then at least the hair styling and make-up clutter could move to that side and free up the sink area for OP. The mess doesn’t follow the sink, it follows the mirror.

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u/Wearytaco 17d ago edited 17d ago

As someone with ADHD, I will literally forget I own it if it's not in view. I have to have open shelving. I've been considering getting a mirror to put on the bottom side of my pantry shelves so I can easily see what's behind the other stuff when I open the door to cook because I literally just forget. And in this case, I would forget to put on deodorant or whatever. And I don't think any roommate of mine would want that haha.
Edit: typos

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u/Swimming-Dot9120 17d ago

I actually hate this so much lol. I like having a clear counter, but I know those objects will cease to exist the second they enter the drawer. I made that mistake with my daily medication once lmao. Not great

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u/roundhashbrowntown 16d ago

same, next thing you know, im buying everything in duplicate bc the first copy was somewhere invisible 🥲

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u/simone15Miller 13d ago

So, just trying to understand, if all your items were stored in cabinets , nothing out on surfaces, you’d forget you own products? You’d forget you own deodorant, a toothbrush, for example?

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u/Swimming-Dot9120 13d ago

Lol it may sound wild, but yes. Its embarrassing to admit, but I recently forgot to brush my teeth for several days because I started putting my toothbrush in my drawer instead of on top of the counter where it usually is (we’re in the process of showing our house and god forbid people know we own toothpaste and a toothbrush haha). I’ve forgotten my daily meds, to brush my hair, and to put my daily moisturizer on as well

I’ve learned to just carry deodorant in my bag with me at all times so I can have it whenever the need arises

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u/BishlovesSquish 17d ago

I felt this in my soul. The mirror idea is genius. Need for the back of my fridge too. 🫠

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u/ImportantFunction833 17d ago

This is why I have clear lazy Susans all up in my pantry. Before getting them, if it was in the back, it didn't exist. Now, I find things because I'm either looking for them or I forgot what I was looking for and started spinning the tray going, "WHEEEEEE! ....wait, I have balsamic vinegar?!"

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u/wildcat- 17d ago

I also have ADHD and I use the large IKEA kallax unit fully open instead of dressers because with dressers I lose clothes to the void for years because they are out of sight out of mind.

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u/Wearytaco 17d ago

It's funny I know exactly which dresser this is because of a new Skyrim mod by IKEA. XD but yeah, I have to hand my clothes for that exact reason. I will only wear the top three cause I will not dig any farther nor will I remember what clothes are underneath

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u/dasbarr 17d ago

Yeah, my therapist suggested taking the door off my closet and it was a fucking game changer. Not only can I actually see what I fucking own but it's just easier to remember to put stuff away.

We ended up taking the doors off the cabinets that hold the stuff I like to use and it's so much easier to figure out what I can make for dinner.

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u/DragonYourfeet 17d ago

I have to keep a whiteboard on the fridge with lists of what’s in there or I will just keep buying more of what we already have and forget to eat it 😑

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u/ExtremeResearch600 17d ago

Literally. I also have OCD and I forgot to take my OCD medication for 10 days because it got put away.

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u/AsleepHedgehog2381 16d ago

They sell clear lazy susan organizers. That way, you can see through and turn to grab what you need, but it all stays organized. I find it helpful to keep things where they belong, but not out of sight.

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u/molasses_in_january 16d ago

I might steal that mirror idea, I've got open pantry shelving but it's DEEP and taller than me so I lose stuff behind the front row of cans above head height all the time.

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u/AcadiaFit4435 13d ago

Also have adhd and I find it helpful to use baskets so things aren’t messy, but label them. I can’t explain why but seeing the labels helps.

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u/2plus2equalscats 11d ago

Saaaame. And it sucks because I like clean counters and less visual noise. But if I can’t see it, it doesn’t exist. So all my counter tops have the items I need for each day. 😭

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u/Dntlastnt 17d ago

I do too plus if I don’t have them out and organized, I miss a skin care step. I have open, floating shelves that are super pretty.

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u/Legitimate-Sky8335 17d ago

Exactly. As someone with ADHD, if it's stored away and invisible, it doesn't exist for me. So if it has to be used daily, it will be stored visibly.

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u/ImaginaryCheetah 17d ago

bold assumption that those drawers aren't completely full as well as the stuff being stacked on the surface.

in the last picture we see that the recently purchased storage appears to be the only storage in the room. the GF saturates every storage option that isn't the floor.

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u/therealwhoaman 17d ago

I have open shelves above the toilet but I find it creates a visual clutter, so I hung sheer curtains in front of the shelves. I just cut the curtains to match the length of the shelves.

It both mutes the "noise" but still allows me to see things. And yes I wash the curtains since they are in the bathroom.

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u/StormCloudRaineeDay 17d ago

They will still put stuff on top of the open shelving.

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u/left-handed-satanist 17d ago

Seconding this, I will forget what I have if I don't see it. 

I wonder if uh, this could've been solved with a conversation 

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u/Stock-Cap-5734 17d ago

Thank you! A lot of thise things are meant to be stored vertically and on an open surface, not in a drawer

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u/Own_Possibility_511 17d ago

I think closed shelving would work as long as the cabinet is taller. Doors in front of the shelves aren’t bothersome. You open it and see everything clearly.
Drawers on the other hand…. It’s just a big pile of mess in there. No thanks.

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u/Kelsusaurus 17d ago

Or an organizer to sit on top of the things OP already bought.

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u/L3m0n0p0ly 17d ago

Yesss I'm one of those people where it's out of sight and it drops out of existence

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u/MajesticDisaster3977 17d ago

Open shelving, or OP need to put some bird spikes on top ;)

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u/SeaworthinessOne1752 17d ago

I like to see my stuff so I got a vanity, my husband hates me putting lotions on surfaces. Could possible lead to divorce!

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u/EthanRDoesMC 17d ago

Yes be kind to the adhd folks in your life who, if they can’t see something, don’t know it exists

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u/SpicyDillRadish 17d ago

But also put spikes on the top surfaces (coming from someone who can’t leave a top surface empty)

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u/Unlucky_Tell_6900 17d ago

I use a shelf with doors and when I go in the bathroom I open all the doors so I can see everything.

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u/sugaratc 16d ago

Yea for items used multiple times per day (toothpaste, moisturizer, hair brush, etc) it's annoying to constantly be digging it out of a drawer.

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u/theuserwithoutaname 16d ago

These would be the perfect solution if I could make/find transparent doors for the shelves with relative ease- I hate everything being exposed and getting dusty (the irony being I still leave everything on surfaces like op where they are very much so exposed and getting dusty)

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u/bomdiagata 15d ago

idk I have open shelving in my apartment bathroom and it’s a struggle to get it to not look like a gigantic mess all the time. Bathroom/cosmetic products just aren’t visually appealing to see out constantly, it still looks all cluttered to me. I personally can’t stand too much open shelving for this reason. Really need to buy some cute storage baskets but I’ve been too lazy for the last…oh, two years or so. 😅

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u/DebThornberry 12d ago

Im a middle aged woman with the object permanence of an infant. If I dont see it, it doesnt exist

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u/shedwyn2019 17d ago

This is the way

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u/ikristic 17d ago

Id think indulging that person even more is not a proper way to proceed with this. Id expect at least somewhat attentive, observant person would communicate this before or, at the lastest, after the first closet.