r/MenGetRapedToo • • Jun 23 '17

Obtaining professional help: a guide for men

65 Upvotes

Nearly everybody -- the victims themselves, therapists and counsellors, and scholars in the field -- agree that good professional help is extremely valuable for men and boys who have undergone sexual violence. Rape and sexual assault are isolating experiences. Speaking with somebody in real life helps to break that isolation. A skilled, sensitive therapist or counsellor can also help you find new perspectives; put what happened into a broader context; and suggest useful strategies for dealing with the aftermath. r/MenGetRapedToo is a strong advocate of guys obtaining good outside help. It makes a big difference.

Unfortunately, good outside help in this area is very hard to find. You're almost certainly going to have to work at it; it's not likely (though it could happen) that you're going to be successful on the very first try. So if you take away nothing else from this post, remember the following Golden Rule:-

It's like dating. Keep at it until you find the right person.

A characteristic pattern can be found in sexually assaulted men's help-seeking behavior. They wait far too long to seek outside assistance, and do so only when they're already in deep crisis. Then they go to see somebody. Often, that somebody isn't the right person for the job. The male victims, disheartened, drop out after a couple of frustrating sessions. But instead of saying to themselves, as women and girls much more typically do, "OK, that was a bust: on to the next candidate on the list," they never seek external help again. Instead they either retreat in upon themselves still further; self-medicate with booze or drugs; or both.

Don't be that guy.

It's unrealistic to expect to be successful first crack out of the box. Go into this prepared for the long haul.

All that said, where might you start looking?

 

RAPE CRISIS CENTERS

In many respects these are the obvious places to approach, in English-speaking countries at any rate. There are a lot of them -- more than 1,300 in the United States; more than a hundred in Great Britain -- and you're not likely to be far away from one. They're free to the client. They do this kind of thing for a living. Most have 24/7 hotlines, so they're easily accessible day and night. Still, for men, RCCs also come with definite structural limitations, and it's important to be aware of these.

The first is access. In a lot of countries it's legal for RCCs to refuse to provide services to male clients. A lot of RCCs in Britain will not deal with men or boys. The same is true of many Canadian ones, and in New Zealand. Of those that do, the services provided are rarely on an equal basis. For example, some RCCs will only take calls from boys under the age of 18. Others will provide telephone counselling only, but not allow men or boys in their offices, which they maintain as women-only spaces. For trans people it's even more complicated. Some will provide services only to FtM people (on the ground that they're chromosomally female); others only to MtF people (on the ground that they're now living as women). Spend some time with the RCC's website -- most of them have one -- to see what their access policies may be. This is preferable to running the risk of being turned away in person, which can be highly traumatizing.

Elsewhere, as in the United States, equalities laws prevent RCCs from discriminating in this way. But that doesn't necessarily mean that they're safe spaces for male victims. The RCC sector in the States is overwhelmingly female in composition: around 98% of their personnel. For the majority, male sexual victimization isn't very much on their radar screen, or high on their list of priorities. Very few provide any kind of useful training in this area to their counsellors; in fairness to them, we're unaware of places where such training can be obtained. Their counsellors spend their entire day hearing about barbaric treatment of women by men; it's often psychologically hard for them to switch gears and start thinking of men as victims rather than perpetrators. A lot of halfwitted men like to telephone RCCs, especially late at night, and troll them with abusive or obscene calls -- yes, this really does happen; it's not a feminist myth -- which raises the index of suspicion when a male voice is heard at the other end of the line. And some RCC people do operate out of a very rigid theoretical framework that can result in them "overwriting" men's lived experiences with their own preferred interpretations. This is especially the case when a female perpetrator may be involved.

Are we saying "Don't ever approach an RCC?" Not at all. But these structural limitations do exist, and have real consequences. It's important to be aware of them.

As with most things, detailed reconnaissance helps you to avoid encountering upsetting experiences further down the line. Check out the website very carefully indeed: all of it, not just the section -- if it exists -- about male victims. (If such a section doesn't exist, that indicates something right there.) Look for evidence that the organization in question has given some thought about how to reach out to male clients. Does the RCC have a name suggesting otherwise, e.g. Women Helping Women (Greater Cincinnati) or stock photos of victims that don't include any men or boys? Do the statistical data it provides rely on harmfully narrow definitions, or out-of-date figures about the prevalence of sexual violence against men? Does its list of external resources include useful items suggesting actual awareness of the dynamics of male sexual victimization?

If you have a trusted female relative or friend who is willing to make the first contact with an RCC on your behalf, she may be able to help you find out what kind of services might be available to you, and what experience the organization possesses in working with male clients.

Bear in mind that most RCCs only see clients living within their catchment areas, so that except in the biggest cities, you may not have much of a choice about which to consider.

 

SPECIALIZED AGENCIES FOR MALE VICTIMS

The good news is that these avoid a lot of the structural problems that attend RCCs. The bad news is that they are (i) exceptionally few; and (ii) invariably small-scale organizations. The biggest of them, and in many respects the template for others -- Survivors UK in London -- is criminally underfunded and has a hefty waiting list. Others are little more than one or two activists with an answering machine and a website, living from hand to mouth and all too likely to go abruptly out of business. If you're seeking one of these, expect to click on a lot of dead links.

Still, where they do exist, they're worth checking out. Unlike RCCs, they're less likely to be free to the client -- Mankind in south-east England, for example, charges on a sliding scale. In general, though, you're going to need to be unusually fortunate to have access to one of these services. We do recommend trying. The mere fact that you approached them for help, even if you don't wind up receiving it, is evidence that they can use to prove that the need exists and to press for better funding and resources in the future.

 

COLLEGE AND UNIVERSITY COUNSELLING

If you're in third-level education, your institution is likely to have some kind of student counselling service, provided at low or no cost. Some of the smaller schools arrange private practitioners, off campus, to deliver the service; larger ones usually maintain their own staff. Very big universities may even have peer-to-peer student counselling programs.

The advantages here are the facts that the resource will be either on-site or close by, and the cost is probably bundled with the price of tuition. Again, though, access difficulties can exist. If the counselling facility in question deals exclusively with sexual violence -- a good thing -- often it's physically located in the university's women's center. For a man to go there may not cause any problems; at other times or places, the atmosphere may be unwelcoming or even hostile, depending on the campus climate. Either way, though, it may be difficult for him to preserve his incognito. More generally, campus counselling often has long waiting lists, particularly at certain times of the year, around examination period.

Peer counselling can, paradoxically, be the most helpful for male college students who have experienced sexual violence. While the counsellors may not have a great deal of detailed knowledge of how it affects men in particular, their views on the topic may be more intersectional and less rigidly binary than one is apt to encounter at an RCC, and they can also be more empathetic and prepared to listen.

 

PRIVATE-PRACTICE THERAPISTS AND PSYCHIATRISTS

It's important to understand the difference. Psychiatrists are medical doctors; they've been through the same basic training as any other M.D. and can prescribe drugs. For that reason their services are the most expensive, although insurance may pick up all or some of the cost. In many continental European countries, psychiatrists are also psychotherapists: they do "talk therapy" as well as medical intervention. That's much less common in North America, where a psychiatrist will see you about a particular problem but is likely to want to pass you along to someone else.

In most countries the therapeutic field is entirely unregulated. Anyone can hang out a sign pronouncing themselves to be a "therapist" or "counsellor" and start seeing clients. Some subscribe to professional bodies that try to uphold some kind of minimum standards among practitioners, though a lot aren't particularly effective at policing their members. For these reasons, though, the very first thing you ought to talk about when you interview a therapist is about their qualifications and experience. Don't be afraid to pursue this line of inquiry head-on, with follow-up questions if you're not clear on anything. Apart from anything else, it's a useful screening test. No bona fide practitioner will resent such inquiries; quite the opposite. If your proposed therapist is evasive or shows signs of asperity about being asked, that's the reddest of red flags. Thank them politely for their time, and go elsewhere.

Therapists with training in the field of sexual violence aren't very numerous, though they can be found. Hardly any specialize in male sexual victimization. Of those who do, the majority have experience with child sexual assault only, because that's what men are more likely to disclose and the area in which the clinical literature is most highly developed. If you're an ASA (adult sexual assault) person, the best you may be able to hope for is an open-minded practitioner who is willing to learn on the job alongside you.

Your other chief possibility is a trauma therapist. TTs specialize in working with people who have undergone traumatic experiences, which can vary from exposure to combat to being involved in a road traffic accident (and innumerable other things—being an aid worker in a disaster-hit area; being a member of the emergency services, and so forth). They ought to have had some kind of postgraduate qualification in the field, and be working under a supervisor—take the absence of either of these as red flags. Surprisingly, TTs often know less about sexual trauma specifically than one would imagine. But any qualified TT ought to be able to help you at least with symptom management: controlling flashbacks and dissociative episodes; developing grounding techniques; integrating your experience of trauma with your daily routine.

 

ONLINE SUPPORT

For victims in the U.S., an organization called 1 in 6, which has recently extended its remit to male victims of all ages, is now running online support groups for men. These are held in the early evenings EST from Monday to Thursday, and at noon EST on Fridays. We haven't received any feedback on them as yet. But even though face-to-face therapy is always preferable, the online equivalent is a great deal better than nothing. We hope to see many more initiatives like this in the future.

 

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS

Finding a professional who can help you -- which in large measure means showing you how to help yourself -- takes work, a lot of it. This is a marathon, not a sprint. The virtues of doggedness, persistence and a refusal to become downhearted or to throw in the towel are what make for success in the end.

No matter who you see -- an RCC counsellor, a college counsellor, a private therapist or some combination thereof -- you need to develop a level of trust with that person if the therapeutic encounter is to do any good. That's not built up in a single session. Give it a fair shot. Expect to be uncomfortable while you're doing it. The earliest stages of any such relationship are the hardest.

But if it's not working out, don't persist with the wrong person. That should be a decision you make in weeks, not months. If you don't feel that you can tell your counsellor or therapist anything without fazing them (even if you know it will take a long time before you can actually do so); if you can't query them on something they've said without their taking offense; if they try to cram your lived experience into their own preferred framework, regardless of what you know to be the case -- those are signs you need to be working with somebody else. Tell them you've decided to make a change. Once again, the analogy with dating applies fairly well. Needless to say, there ought never to be any kind of romantic relationship between you and your therapist. But just as you need to "click" with somebody in your personal life, to be able to speak the same language with them, you need to have a basic level of comfort with a therapist or counsellor also. If it's not there, that may not be their fault or yours. It simply means that, for whatever reason, a sound therapeutic relationship never managed to become established. When that happens, it's time to look elsewhere.

Hang in there. And remember the Golden Rule.


r/MenGetRapedToo • • Jun 30 '21

The "Good Rape Crisis Center Guide"—updated

86 Upvotes

As many users here will know, rape crisis centers (RCCs) are somewhat problematical for male victims of sexual violence. In some countries (Britain, Canada, New Zealand) it's legal for them not to provide services to men and boys at all, and many or most in those parts of the world exercise that option. Even where that's not the case, though, men's experiences at RCCs can be spotty at best.

In the hope of providing signposts to those RCCs that have a good record of dealing with male clients, we invite our users to give the names of those places that, from their own direct experience, they could recommend to others. If you wish, please write a sentence or two about what makes the place stand out for you. But if you don't want to do that, simply telling us the name is enough.

You ought not to mention the names of individual counsellors, both to protect their privacy and because there's a fair amount of staff turnover in this sector. And you shouldn't add the names of RCCs where you've had a bad experience (these will be removed by the mods). What's most useful to us all right now is knowing where to go, not where to avoid.


r/MenGetRapedToo • • 8h ago

I'm still in a "situationship" with my assaulter, but I'm starting to get interested in other girls. Am I a bad person?

4 Upvotes

I've been trapped in this situationship-type relationship with the woman who assaulted me (I'm a trans man, she's a cis girl, she was intimate with me several times a week for 3 months straight last year, against my will) because in the past, when I've left her, she's turned people against me and threatened suicide.

There's this girl who me and her know, and she's starting to show interest in me, and I can't help but like that girl. She seems so sweet and caring, and I trust her that she wouldn't do anything to me. But, my assaulter knows about her possible crush on me, and is starting to get more clingy with me and upset at the girl. My assaulter does this with every girl who shows interest in me. It's so tiring.

I don't know if that's considered cheating on my assaulter. I feel bad because it feels like I'm going behind her back, but I can't be honest with her or else I'm afraid of the consequences. I just feel like such a shitty person.


r/MenGetRapedToo • • 17h ago

(full story) I think I was sexually assaulted while I blacked out and I am too frightened to tell my s/o

12 Upvotes

Two years ago, I was attending an after-party for my college’s Pride club (as a bisexual man). I was getting drunk, and was offered weed at the time. This ended with me getting extremely cross-faded and throwing up. A bunch of blurry, raunchy card games flew by, and I found myself wandering the campus with some random guy I’d never met before. He’d said he’d gotten locked out of the dorm he was staying at, and I was hungry, so I walked to the on-campus convenience store, and he followed. I got food, and he asked me to get him a tub of Vaseline because “his lips were chapped”. Me, out of touch with reality, was tryna be a cool Samaritan because I didn’t want the pride people to reject me for being too straight-presenting, so I bought him that with my meal plan allowance money. It was like 3 bucks so I wasn’t pressed. We’re just walking around and he starts talking about sexual stuff, which kinda weirds me out a bit, but maybe this is normal pride club stuff (coming from a guy who was raised in texas). After wandering around for a bit more, we settled on this couch that was in a small arcade, and I made sure I was at the opposite end of him. I must have passed out from exhaustion or cross-fading, but I woke up a few hours later with him seemingly asleep on the other end of the couch and a strange sensation down there. I ignored it because I had to get back to my dorm, had school the next day, and when I got back to my room I finally investigated. My genitalia smelled strongly of Vaseline. I don’t have any other recollections of the night except the dude was kinda weirdly touchy, but again, just thought that was normal gay friend stuff, I mean girl friends touch their friends on the arms and shoulders and whatnot, so I just let it be. My working theory is that while I was passed out, my dick was sucked or tugged (not to completion) by a random gay dude I had just met… I can’t think of any other outcome that would make my crotch oily and smelling of Vaseline. It’s been two years now, and I haven’t been able to tell my girlfriend about it- we’re long distance- because I fear she’ll think it was on purpose. I don’t know what I did to deserve that night, but now I am just filled with fear of what she’d say.


r/MenGetRapedToo • • 18h ago

How do you get past the shame of having been abused?

10 Upvotes

21M.

When I was around 13, I was restrained, raped, and mocked, and later blackmailed and beaten by an older boy.

With the help of therapy, I’ve moved past the guilt; I know now i was just a kid and couldn't have done anything differently.

But the shame consumes me. And why? If we aren't to blame, why do we feel shame?

There are several conflicting dimensions to this situation that I’m trying to piece together to get a complete picture. Not all of them were discussed in therapy, i always have a hard time talking about this, precisely because of the shame.

When it all happened, I was still figuring out my sexuality and interests, yet I know I felt a huge attraction to that boy;

It all started as a game, and at first, I remember i was fascinated by the attention I was getting, but it quickly spiraled out of control.

When I think about it, the greatest humiliation I felt, even more than the rape itself, was the fact that he noticed I was aroused and mocked me for it. I feel like that validated him and made him want to keep going.

Despite all the violence, he maintained an attitude and language that hovered between lustful and affectionate. That affection still disturbs me to this day.

Later, he blackmailed me, threatening to tell everyone, as if the fault had been mine.

Ultimately, it wasn't the first time I had been abused, so deep down, I kinda always felt I should have known better by then.

All of this deeply upsets me and leaves me with an overwhelming sense of feeling dirty and ashamed. And i am tired.

How do we get past this stage? Can anyone share what worked for them? I feel like this is the step i am missing right now.


r/MenGetRapedToo • • 3d ago

I think I was assaulted but I don’t know what to do

14 Upvotes

Basically im M19 and went on a night out the other day and I had way too much much to drink paired with drugs and ended up not remembering hardly anything and at one point in the night I went with my friend to a girls house cause I thought he was going to get off with her, I don’t know why I went but if I thought they were looking after me and the next thing I know at some point she had her mouth around my limp dick, I don’t think anything else happened but I know I was too fucked to give consent so idk what to do, especially what do I say to my girlfriend, it’s made me depressed the last couple of days


r/MenGetRapedToo • • 5d ago

Was SA’d by my family and never recovered

20 Upvotes

I (24M) was SA’d as a kid by my sister & cousin brother, they both did it separately and are not ever of the other doing it to me. I’ve never told this to anyone, and probably never will.

All instances happened 10-15 years back, but I remember them pretty well. I’m still close to the people who did it (regular chats, video calls, etc. usual family stuff), and I know that they’ll ever do it again to anyone else, considering their political beliefs and stances.

It’s just something that pops in every now and then, and has affected me intimacy wise. But, it’s fine and manageable for me, my burden to carry.

Always thought of getting therapy, but that scares/weirds me out too. It’s easier to continue living life keeping this to myself than sharing it with anyone.

Sometimes the jokey-funny guy mask slips, but thats only temporary and I always manage to get it back up.

So yeah that’s it, will probably delete this in a while too.


r/MenGetRapedToo • • 5d ago

The idea of ​​being perceived as weak or a victim makes me sick. And i need to move past this feeling.

10 Upvotes

Hi everyone.

21M, survivor of csa and sa.

This year, I finally decided to start therapy, and yeah it’s been a game-changer so far. It helped me come to terms with the fact that I couldn't have done more or any better.

However, there’s something that still bothers me. Only two people know what I went through because i wanted them to know, my partner and a very close friend, but not much details of it.

Yet, the idea of ​​being seen as weak or a victim, or worrying that others might view me with pity or see me as vulnerable holds me back in this process of acceptance and healing. The thought of people finding out about this part of my life makes me feel sick. It also makes my therapy sessions more difficult, because I feel uncomfortable talking about it and allowing myself to be vulnerable and honest about my feelings.

I imagine this is something many of you can relate to, and I’d like to know if anyone has managed to overcome those feelings?

How did you do it?


r/MenGetRapedToo • • 8d ago

Being a male SA victim is an especially lonely experience

40 Upvotes

I (30M) have been sexually harassed and assaulted by women a handful of times during my life. These all range from uncomfortable comments to being physically held down and assaulted while everyone laughed in amusement. All of these occurred when I was in high school (2010-14), before the #metoo movement broke out. As well as being an age where I was so starved for female attention, that I tried to view these assaults as validation, even when they didn’t feel that way. 

I remember when #metoo happened and reading about women’s experiences, that I realized I could relate to these stories and that the memories I was trying to push down as joking around was actually sexual assault. But I felt I couldn’t contribute to the conversation because I was a man. Especially since at the time I was a college student involved with several progressive organizations, where trashing men had become the norm. To the point I was fired from a job because I showed pushback when my boss said it was acceptable to say ‘all men are pigs’. 

So it felt like I was silently living with double the shame: the shame of being a man, and the shame of being assaulted, where I feel I can never confront those who hurt me.

Earlier this year I received a PTSD diagnosis for sexual trauma, and while it’s somewhat gratifying to get a diagnosis and I’m currently in EMDR treatment, I also find it tremendously lonely. Pretty much every online resource I look at for dealing with sexual trauma is geared towards women, many of which tend to showcase a negative view of men. 

In light of the horrible Cornel 7 case, much of the loneliness I’ve felt has been brought back to the forefront of my mind. Both the shame of being sexually assaulted in front of a group of people and the conversations about ‘all men’.

This is in no way a post about minimizing women's experiences. I hope we can get to a point where we can have more open conversation about the fact that women also can commit sexual violence, much of which is brushed off and unreported. And I have a strong feeling if we did open these conversations up, I likely wouldn’t be in the minority.


r/MenGetRapedToo • • 9d ago

I got raped AND assaulted and i don’t know how to get over it

32 Upvotes

I got raped by a man at a party when i was 17, then i got sexually assaulted at 19 two times by women on the bus on my way to college and it has destroyed my life. Right after getting raped i tried to 💀 myself by drinking bleach (idk if drinking it could actually kill you) then 2 weeks later i tried again but this time with an overdose, then the real problems began: i cried every night, i felt sick every time i looked in the mirror an stopped caring about how i looked, my social skills went down the drain, I started drifting away from my friends until i ended up completely alone, i started using marihuana to cope with the pain, the most important person in my life (my girl best friend) now hates me because she felt i didn‘t care about her, and i pushed away every girl that had an interest in me due to the shever panic and repulsion i feel towards sex now. And the worst part? i have to cope with it alone, i’ve seen women report rape cases with a shit ton of evidence get totally ignored, if i go and tell the police (or anyone really) that i got raped by a man they will laught at me for being weak, if i tell them i got assaulted by a women they will call me “lucky”. I told the only friend i had left everything and he thought i was lying, i don’t have money for therapy and i just can’t tell my parents. I feel ashamed, weak, gross and alone all the fucking time, i don’t talk to anyone anymore, i haven’t had a good day in years, everything i once liked doesn’t bring me any joy anymore, i feel tired all the time and i don’t know what to do.

On top of the rape and the sexual assaults have a shit ton of problems (for example i have a constant headache and sometimes it evolves to a migraine) and all of this while i have to pretend to be fine with my parents.

I don’t even know why i made this post, maybe i just wanted to talk to someone about this, or talk to someone in general, so please if you have an advice or something, tell me

(also I’m sorry if i write like shit, I’m from Ecuador and english is not my primary language)


r/MenGetRapedToo • • 11d ago

I find myself getting more triggered when it comes to things recently

8 Upvotes

As the title said I found myself getting more almost sensitive when it comes to things. For example (and the reason I made this post) was basically today I went into a corner shop and basically on my way to get a drink I had to pass some magazines, but then on my way I saw a porno magazine open to a random page and for some reason it triggered me (the same feeling but to a lesser extent to when I saw one of my abusers the other week) and I genuinely felt like I was going to pass out and I felt extremely sensitive. I’ve just found that it’s been happening more and more lately to the point it’s impacting my life (before you ask I am in therapy but it’s a struggle to find times when I’m free that the therapist is also free).


r/MenGetRapedToo • • 11d ago

Ser violado me hizo gay?

22 Upvotes

Hola, soy de México y esto nunca lo he contado a nadie, no recuerdo a qué edad sucedió pero solo se que fue cuando iba en la primaria, mi papá nos abandono cuando nací y mi padrastro se encargaba de mi los fines de semana y ahí abusaba de mi, me engañaba y me hacía ver el abuso como amor, me lo hacía parecer normal y me decía que al igual que con mi mamá el me trataba igual porque me amaba y siempre me decia eso pero que no debía decir nada, fueron casi dos años así, aunque había temporadas que no lo hacía, pero siempre volvía, un día tuvo una pelea muy fuerte con mi mamá y se separaron desde entonces solo lo he visto de lejos pocas veces y me aterra, aunque se fue el daño que me hizo nunca se podrá reparar, creci siendo un niño inseguro y temeroso, sufrí de bullying y nunca he tenido novia, me drogaba , me duele admitirlo pero después de un tiempo me gustaba y extrañaba esa sensación, se que esta mal pero eso me sucedió y no sé si por eso ahora me gustan los hombres


r/MenGetRapedToo • • 12d ago

I just need to get this out

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2 Upvotes

r/MenGetRapedToo • • 15d ago

I was raped by my gf and didn’t realize at the time..

48 Upvotes

I uh really need somewhere that I can talk about this because I’m alone and I feel so vulnerable/confused. Basically I was dating this girl three years ago and I’m positive she raped me.. I never processed this night fully, and what I did process, I didn’t know if it was actually rape or not… until now.

So being a guy at the time, I was never taught the dangers of being taken advantage of by a woman.. ppl expect that we’re the ones to take advantage, so ig they don’t feel a need to warn us? Anyways I always thought that “oh we’re in a relationship so it’s okay for a partner to satisfy their sexual needs whenever they need” or something like that. I guess I just didn’t know that in a relationship you still have to give consent… but I was super scared to even make a first move on a woman when I was growing up, and the thought of taking advantage of someone sexually never crossed my mind. No means no. I have a sister… I know how I’d feel if someone took advantage of her..

So I was sleeping in our bedroom, my gf (now ex) and I had been living together for a while now.. we had been arguing that day and weren’t particularly getting along. Over the frustrating day I was especially tired and dozed off. I wake up feeling extremely foggy headed and groggy like I’d been binge drinking and I feel my member start to twitch.. it felt good… but wait.. why does it feel good. what is happening right now? I then see her bobbing her head up and down giving me fellatio..

I guess she thought it’d be hot to wake me up out of my sleep to sex… but I didn’t want sex.. I didn’t want any of it. I just wanted to die. Curl into a ball and die.

“No”… “please stop” “I don’t want this”

That’s all that was passing through my mind. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t make any noises. I couldn’t think. I still can’t think. I just can’t. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want it but I didn’t know what to do. My body wanted it so that must mean I want it too right. God the worst part is that when I think about this experience my body becomes aroused and I hate it bc no… please no. I was violated and taken advantage of and my body enjoying it is just so confusing and mind wrecking bc I didn’t want it. I didn’t want it to feel good.. or bad. I didn’t want to feel at all.

She then finished fellatio and then she um. She uh got on top of me and she.. put me inside of her… while I was feeling the feeling of me entering her, I was crying on the inside. “No no no please stop no” “I don’t want any of this right now” and then blank.. just nothing. She was riding me, bucking, like she owed me money and I just laid there out of my body.. I disassociated from myself, just waiting for it to end. Waiting for this torture to stop. I just told myself “it’s okay, just lay here until she’s done and… She’ll stop eventually.” Sure it felt good, but I didn’t want it to.

I just remember the feeling… dark, scary, and dangerous. Each wave of pleasure sent me further into hell. I was just laying there. I froze and I didn’t know what to do. As a man at the time I’m supposed to want sex right? I’ll feel like I’m less of a man for not wanting sex right? I wish I knew back then what I know now got damnit. The worst part was the dirty talk and the most conflicting part was me cumming. I’ve been crying so hard over this today it’s too overwhelming. I was taken advantage of, exposed, vulnerable and my body enjoyed it? This sent me into a spiral and I just broke down and started crying.

I felt so empty.. just like a husk. I barely remember the whole thing and what I can remember makes me horny and I hate that. I hate getting aroused thinking about the fact that my innocence was prayed upon. I can’t cope with the fact that someone I put in a category of trust, on a lvl such as my own parents, sexually assaulted me, took advantage of me for their own pleasure, treating me like a sexual object, not even considering that I may not be consenting, just because I was born with a penis.. and it’s what I should want anyways.. I should be lucky that I was raped against my wishes in the middle of the night by someone that I had trusted blindly.. right? 😒

And I’m so sorry to the younger me who so innocently trusted others. Even if they don’t realize how much what just happened is going to hurt later on.

This is just now resurfacing, i think bc im embracing femininity now, and regardless of opinions on fem ppl, I realized that the woman that she was, was a monster. That after exploring my own femininity for years after, that what she did isn’t normal behavior. The feminine person I’m becoming is leagues better a lady than what I experienced. The person that I’m becoming feels like the protector of that scared, vulnerable version of myself.

I didn’t know any better when I was younger. and I’m only now dealing with all the emotions from being raped. This is new to me so I don’t know what is right to feel. I feel like I’m lying to everyone by thinking I was raped, I feel stupid bc how can a man get raped by a woman, I feel scared because I let myself get taken advantage of, I feel weak, scattered, like I’m just blowing things out of proportion… there are so many different emotions that I don’t know what to feel. This is just a feeling I can’t get rid of bc it’s something that happened to me and it hurts so so damn bad.


r/MenGetRapedToo • • 16d ago

Groomed by student teacher

29 Upvotes

It’s been over 25 years and I’ve never talked about this to anyone before but I need to get it out.

To graduate high school with an advanced degree we were required to take 3 years of a foreign language. I was taking Spanish to meet the requirement but to put it mildly I was really bad. I was otherwise a straight A student, but had gotten a C in both Spanish 1 and 2. My junior year I was taking Spanish 3 and was floundering, I had a C- by a point in the fall semester. Then in the spring semester we had a student teacher come in. Not that my regular teacher had been mean to me or hadn’t been trying to help me get through the classes but she was exceptionally attentive to me and seemed to take a deep interest in helping me.

It was the second or third week of her being in the classroom when she asked me if she could help me study after school. She told me she was sure that she could help me get through the class. This wasn’t the first time a teacher had offered to help and it hadn’t really worked before but I was willing to try anything to get through the class and be done with the language requirement for my diploma.

We started meeting for an hour after school in the classroom for a week or two. It was helping some but it wasn’t like a light bulb had gone off and I suddenly goy it, my brain just doesn’t do langauge well, while I had an A in English, that was by far my hardest subject outside of Spanish.

Then one afternoon that we didn’t have a session she saw me walking to my car, the junior lot was behind the teacher lot, and called me over to her car. She told me she thought the sessions were helping (they were a little but again I was more or less accepting a barely passing grade) but that if I really wanted to get better I should try some immersion where I was forced to use the language. She said there was a Mexican restaurant by her apartment that did Mexican karaoke and that going and listening and trying to do all the ordering in Spanish might help. I told her that sounded like I would make a fool of myself but she told me it would be fine and that she would come and help me.

I really didn’t want to have to repeat the year of Spanish as a senior so I agreed. I met her there the next day. I suffered through an hour of pure embarrassment as I felt like a clueless fish out of water. That said, while I didn’t understand a word or the music, I did manage to order and get through the meal having very basic conversation with her using almost nothing but Spanish, I only had to revert to English once or twice. So I suppose I felt like it was at least a potential success?

After our next after school session she again told me that immersion was the key to getting better and that it was casual conversation in the real world, not the classroom, that would help me the most. She suggested we do the Mexican restaurant again the next week and I agreed.

The next week I felt just as out of water at the resultant, I still was embarrassed at how bad my accent and overall use of Spanish was. As we were leaving I told her that I appreciated the help but I was embarrassed by how stupid I must sound to the staff and anyone who could hear me struggling to talk to her so I didn’t think I could do it again. She told me that I shouldn’t be embarrassed but that if I wanted to keep trying the casual dinner conversation without an audience we could do a meal at her apartment and only use Spanish.

This was the point I should have said no. I should have known this wasn’t ok. I knew this wasn’t normal, and while she hadn’t said not to tell anyone, I hadn’t even told my parents about the Mexican restaurant, I had just said I was getting dinner with a friend. But I was so desperate to find a way to pass the class that I agreed. So two nights later I found myself at her apartment. Again not telling anyone where I was really going.

More alarm bells should have gone off when I got there. She was wearing a dress that would never have been acceptable at school given how short it was and how much cleavage it showed. But I missed the signs there. She welcomed me in using Spanish and we started to struggle through a discussion of how my day had been and what she was making for dinner.

When she sat down to eat she sat next to me not across from me at the table. After a few bites she broke from Spanish as she put her hand on my leg and asked me if I was enjoying myself. Again, I should have had alarm bells going off, but I didn’t. I don’t know if it was the desire to pass the class or how nice it felt that she seemed to care, but I just didn’t see any issue. I told her I was really thankful for her help and that I appreciated what she was doing for me.

She took my hand and put it on her thigh and asked me if I would be willing to show her some appreciation for her help. I told her I was incredibly appreciative. She asked again and I asked what she meant. She kept her hand on mine, slid it towards her groin and said that she thought I might show her my appreciation by helping her feel good.

At this point I somewhat understood where she was going, but was incredibly confused. I told her I didn’t understand. She said she needed some help to feel good and that she hoped I would help her like she had been helping me. At this point stupid 16 year old brain took over, I told her I wasn’t sure, that I thought I knew what she was asking but that I didn’t know if I would be any good at it. She told me not to worry, that she would help me here too.

From there things just kept spiraling. She had me rub her through her panties, then took them off and had me finger her. She was guiding my hand the entire time, telling me how good it felt and how much she appreciated me helping her since she had helped me. Then she stood up, walked me over to the couch, and took off her dress. She sat down on the couch, told me to kneel in front of her, and then she guided my face into her groin and told me to lick her. She guided me through eating her pussy for a while until she had an orgasm. Then she got up, got dressed and said we should finish dinner. When I finished eating she said goodbye, said I obviously shouldn’t tell anyone, and asked if I would come back the next week. Stunned I said yes.

This went on for the next two months before her student teaching ended. Once or twice a week I would go to her apartment, eat her out for a while, then go home. The last few times she had me get naked too. A once she had me jerk off while I ate her and the last two times she had us 69 and she made me cum in her mouth. The week before she was done with her student teaching she told me that she was sure I would do fine in the class and that since her student teaching was over our tutoring sessions would need to be done too.

I haven’t seen her since her last day of student teaching. She for sure gave me a kink for being a submissive muff diver. I know what she did was taking advantage of me but I also feel like anyone I would have told then or now is going to be like “oh poor high schooler got to hook up with a college girl and has a normal “kink” how bad.” I feel like even my wife wouldn’t understand as she actually hates oral so would just find it gross. Anyway, I needed to get it off my chest.


r/MenGetRapedToo • • 15d ago

My gf is gaslighting me

17 Upvotes

Ok ive been grapped like 5 or 6 times in life. From as a young boy to parties bars ect. So im demisexual. My gf quite literally doesnt believe in consent and talks about nsfw stuff all day every day. She knows it makes me uncomfortable. She even gropped me on the first date in public. We live far from each other but shes coming over for my birthday. She got an air b n b. I already told her I dont want any nsfw stuff but she told me if I didnt that I didn't like her. Like all I asked for was not to have sex on the 3rd date and shes manipulating me about it. I already know she has plans because she told me her plans. Honestly if she tries anything im cutting ties with her. To be brutally honest the fact that shes coming over and wants me to stay the night is dreadful cause I know im gonna get grapped again and its ruining my birthday as well.


r/MenGetRapedToo • • 17d ago

Trauma and addiction

17 Upvotes

I posted here looks like about five months ago. I got some responses but never responded to any of them (but have meant to, still likely will). I basically just sort of "sat" with it all. Even ended up making my posts/comments hidden as part of these months of sort of sitting with things.

I still have questions around what happened to me, though I know it was wrong and not fair. In gist, at about 13 or 14 I had a peer coerce me into sexual activity (it wasn't something minor, there was penetration). He kept pressuring me and I kept saying no, he kept going, I eventually gave in as I was scared and didn't know how to end it.

Anyway, this has now been over forty years ago. Insane to think about. I repressed the memories until I was 19 when they all surfaced, bits and pieces at a time. In retrospect, I was a mess before the memories surfaced but a different kind of mess, one that alienated me from a lot of people, afterwards.

I don't want to get into too much more of what happened, but I do want to touch on substance abuse. Btw, started drinking and smoking weed on the regular on what would have been not long after this happened. I struggled with alcohol (that was the big one) and drugs (still big enough) for a long time.

I stopped drinking almost five years ago. At the tail end of my drinking I was getting into meth and heroin territory, but that all stopped with the drinking (thank goodness). I had some years of pretty heavy MDMA use that went past the drinking, but I feel like I have put a stop to that one, which was pretty easy to put aside.

The one thing I have decided I am now going to get rid of is cocaine. I would not (do not, really, but do want to officially make past tense) use all of the time, but it has been enough to keep me in its orbit. The mental compulsion is real. I am in a context where some depression has surfaced (seems normal in these contexts for me) and it reminded me that when the existential dread of the depression hits, my mind ruminates on cocaine. It wants an escape. Btw, no access where I am at, so will not happen.

I have experienced this feeling before, realized scary, where I am craving an escape from what feels like an existential hell, trapped with no escape. Anything to stop this, hence the mental fixation on a stimulant, on a dopamine hit. Anything to numb the depression, the feeling of being trapped — over the years I have seen some very bad depression and I am lucky to still be alive, at its worst it has been beyond words.

I am going to say it here and I plan on sticking to it — I have had some healing in life, I mean I was a total mess and I wasted a lot of years and life, but I am in a better place than I had been stuck for a very long time. But the cocaine is a block to further healing. I know what I need to do to handle it (I know where the sources are in my case) and I know I can deal with it. I am done, I have to be. I am 54 years old and wasted my whole life stuck on the effects of what happened to me.

No more of this. Sorry I let it get to this, but I was stuck, really stuck. But no more, please no more.


r/MenGetRapedToo • • 18d ago

My Fault?

28 Upvotes

I am very young, in fact i have not even graduated highschool yet. I keep looking back at the times that this happened when i was 6 and it continued for a year straight, and all i can think about is, was it my fault? Why didn’t i fight back? why didn’t speak up?.
But that’s the thing, i did speak up. I would pray endlessly just begging god for it to stop, never did. Then I moved on to tell my mom. I tell her and she just kinda chuckles and says sure i’ll tell your dad. My dad comes home and nope it’s just the same family night. I confronted her about this recently and she said it just “slipped” her mind. After the sa, i had bad nightmares like to the point where i was seeing snakes and bugs all over walls and blankets. I brought it up and my parents said that it’s god punishing you for misbehaving. Honestly this was more of a post showing what i’ve been through, and i don’t like getting into details as it brings back horrible memories and emotions. But there’s this one thing that i can’t shake, and it’s this pure hatred i have for the guy that did it to me. I can’t get rid of it, like how do you yourself a 20 year old man do stuff like that to a 6year old boy. I pray i see him outside one day. Anyways that’s my story, wishing everyone the best in their healing journey!