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u/Grand_Temperature652 12h ago
My hand doesn't nag or bitch about my hobbies & knows exactly how I like it. Same can't be said about my ex-wife.
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u/LilyKindMusePal 11h ago
If you have a choice to choose me or your hand which would you choose?
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u/Grand_Temperature652 11h ago
If I want the "clumsy stranger" feeling, I'll just use my left hand. Thanks for the offer though.
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u/Plz_Mansplain 12h ago
My hand is always there for me
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u/Necessary_Store351 12h ago
And the damn toys are incredibly awesome now too.
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u/Plz_Mansplain 12h ago
You know I only ever tried one and I did not like it
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u/DigitalMunky 12h ago
I’d imagine the post nut clarity is on another level when you gotta clean up.
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u/SweatySwim3411 11h ago
The one on the right is the keeper. She nags less and doesn't say anything if you cheat on her with her twin.
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u/ThereseLune 12h ago
Hand is good alright but we know it would never be good as the one that comes with the natural "hawk tuah" and that's where we come in🥱
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u/Mydemonswon 11h ago
I have my hand the wife has her Hitachi. Both of us go to bed happy.
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u/SparkOfLogic 5h ago
I about lost a tooth on one of those Hitachi once a while back. It's a complicated story but ..
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u/Mydemonswon 5h ago
Oh my goodness! You gotta tell this story! We usually use it for anal and facesitting. So... Your story has to be glorious.
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u/SparkOfLogic 5h ago
That's exactly what was going on. My ex was on my face facing forward and I had the Hitachi massaging her buttocks while I used my tounge on her hood and clit, after doing like big circle with the buttocks massage I would use the head to hit the anus (what would fit on the surface becaythat thing was massive like a softball) , taint and vaginal opening so while I was doing all that I was like, Maybe if I invert this thing I can stimulate some new area better. So here I am switching grip as I eat her out, I slid her up and moved my tounge to the vaginal opening, like with my chin pointed way up (still finding the "right" grip on the wand and the damn thing swung straight down from an inverter position and the handle hit my bottom teeth. 😂 I was trying to be a champ about it but I was actually scared. Like to the point I would take breaks at tounge stimulation to roll across my teeth and make sure they are still there. 😂 That MF is heavy. Could have been used as a Mace for Home defense if needed.
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u/Mydemonswon 5h ago
You're a fucking champ!!!
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u/SparkOfLogic 5h ago edited 5h ago
They really need to design mouth guards that allow tounge movement. 👀 OSHA would be all on that shit.
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u/Darkv3ng 12h ago
Jill is always there unless you lose your hands lol but goddamnit I'm tired of Jill.
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u/TEN_Monsters7 12h ago
I had a GF but lost her this year, and now Depression hit me, and everything looks pointless
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u/Academic-Signature37 8h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/xT0xesTIvqnaDu38cg
let's not forget about that good old sock...precious...
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u/FinbarJG 8h ago
"But Rosie, you're all right, you wear my ring
When you hold me tight, Rosie, that's my thing
When you turn out the light, I got to hand it to me
Looks like it's me and you again tonight, Rosie."
--- Jackson Browne
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u/OlokoMan 4h ago
Learn to yearn for nothing, and you will love what you already have.
Imagine being born with a high libido and armless. Now THAT is hell.
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u/Doctor_Saved 12h ago
Hands down the cheapest date I've had though.